Spanking vs. Pacifist Punishment

I am not a discipline pacifist. I recognize the use of gentle punishments, the kinds such as writing lines, or grounding, but in my experience and examination of the subject, spanking is greatly superior. Many men who spank their wives would agree. They’d see some of the same strengths that spanking has, and which they’ve been rewarded by, which their wives have in fact been rewarded by, even if they endured hardship to get the good results. The kind of experience many find shameful — a long, hard, bare-bottomed spanking — beats out all the competition.

Needing to face a spanking, and the nervousness it involves, reminds a woman of the seriousness of her bad behavior. The wishing she didn’t have to face what was coming soon, the shame of undressing to be spanked, and getting her bottom blistered, send a powerful message: What you did was serious and wrong. It deserves a real punishment. That was not some little mistake you did. It was WRONG. She wishes right then and there she hadn’t done it. Quietly writing lines does not induce that reaction. It does not present her with the fact, in the clear light of day, that her disrespect or bad behavior is a weighty matter. It is almost blase: a task to take care of. A ritual to perform in an obligatory matter. In contrast, it is a trip upstairs to be spanked by her man that tells her she has really been a bad girl and evil is going to be punished. You are in trouble now.

Spanking is generally more undesirable than pacifist punishments. There may be exceptions. There may be women who look for reasons to get themselves spanked. But in my experience it is the spanking that is far more undesirable, if she needs to face a serious one. By being undesirable it acts more greatly as a deterrent as well. There are alarm bells that will go off in her mind in the future if she begins to consider similar misbehavior again. When she finds herself in the same situation that got her in trouble, she will have a much better memory of what she needs to do. A sore bottom helps her remember. I have seen some behavior turn around immediately after giving my wife the spanking she deserves. Neglected duties are done the next day. Temptations that led her astray before no longer tempt her next time. The undesirable nature of being humbled and spanked hard on the bottom made it a constant reminder to her,  and a deterrent. Your guidance will remain with your wife, even when you are not physically present.

The average pacifist punishment does not immediately induce tears, or attempts to avoid the coming meeting for discipline. That’s because they’re really not all that serious. Spanking is. It speaks immediately to the soul of the woman and tells her — you did wrong and you are in trouble. You will face the consequences of your bad behavior. That power is why I regularly see tears from my wife after I explain to her she’ll be spanked, or during the spanking itself. I do NOT see them at other times. She does not weep at standing in the corner. The last time I notified her of a spanking, and explained why I did not accept her excuses, she was in tears, and told me — “I’m so sorry. I’ll never of it again. I promise.” That is the effect a real punishment has in reaching the soul. She knows she’s in trouble and doesn’t want it. Her soul is laid bare. The gentle punishment does not do that.

Spanking further beats out pacifism in how clearly it teaches authority and humility. The strength of the punishment demands a real lowering of the self. It demands the self-humbling of the entire process: facing one’s guilt and one’s fear, needing to undress (not for sex, but to become deeply vulnerable), continuously addressing her man as “sir,” placing her bottom in the air, and experiencing what is to most a shameful punishment. She endures pain under her man’s control until he decides she has learned her lesson. It shows her clearly who is in command — her husband — and shows her clearly her submissive position, in a deep and long-lasting way.

It presents submission in a nutshell. When she is over the knee or over the bed being spanked, she knows whom she is subject to. A fly on the wall would know in an instant who is in charge, and who is subject to him. You will see, just as I do, that the period following the spanking she is most gentle and peaceful to you. She watches her language, speaks with respect, and is also affectionate and warm to you. It is pure tranquility. Spanking more than anything, brings her back to that right place, and often more deeply than before. You think writing lines will do that? Or taking away the car keys for the weekend? A spanking is a lesson in respect like none other.

Spanking your wife is also superior in most instances due to its speed. It takes care of a problem and puts it in the past in a matter of minutes. That could be a few minutes in the corner, a few minutes over the knee, and a few minutes of lecture and restoration after she’s been disciplined. Other forms of correction — and I use others myself from time to time — either take longer, or fail to put things fully in the past. She is not fully restored to submission. She is not so easily deterred in the future. You can spend hours on having her do chores in the house or write lines, and see less benefit from them. Spanking rightly induces nervousness in the wife who faces it coming soon. Yet as soon as it is over, the wrong is forgotten and not talked about again.

There is something in gentle punishment that feels as if the crime has not really been punished. A part of the reason is that it is weak. A part is that it does not instill in the mind that a serious wrong has been done and must be punished. A part is also because few wives go out of their way to avoid mild discipline. Try using mild discipline as a warning, and you will find it is not nearly as effective of the warning of a hard spanking as well. Writing lines has its place. Corner time has its place. Yet they fail to fully accomplish what punishment and correction are meant to accomplish. A spanking does — a belt on your wife’s bottom will let her know deeply that she has done wrong, and remind her who is in charge in her life. It will be something she seeks to avoid in the future, and which helps her watch her behavior. I’ve explored other methods and never seen anything reach my wife as deeply as a spanking. It helps her do her very best to be good.


27 responses to “Spanking vs. Pacifist Punishment”

  1. Greg Russo Avatar

    I’ll have to ear this

  2. Greg Russo Avatar

    I will have to READ this

  3. Aron, as a woman, I agree wholeheartedly! A spanking forces a woman to surrender control of her body and accept her inherent vulnerability. The tears brought to the surface by pain provide an emotional release that cannot be achieved through other methods. A spanking is feared. Chores are not. And a man who backs up his commands with a firm hand on his wife’s bottom is a man who is respected by that same well-spanked wife.

    I wonder if you know of any husbands who used only pacifist methods of discipline but were eventually won over to spanking. I bet they have powerful testaments to share as to the impact it had on their marriage!

    1. Thank you, Sophia. I don’t think I know of any husbands in that situation, but maybe some of our readers do. I’d enjoy hearing how that experience went, and what won them over. Blessings.

  4. What does pacifist discipline mean?

    1. Pacifist refers to a “peaceful” kind of punishment, one that does not involve spanking. It’s probably not the common word to use, I just use it for effect.

      1. Ya my Husband always uses big words I don’t understand LOL I have to ask him what certain words mean haha

  5. I find it interesting to read the different views people have on spanking. It makes me giggle and is always a fun part of foreplay. But some people seem to use it differently.

    When Ben is concerned about something, he will generally talk to me about it. Ben’s wisdom and experience make it easy for me to cooperate with him. I respect him enormously and love and trust him. I always want to do my utmost to make our life happy and healthy and to support his decisions. He is a wonderful man who I admire enormously.

  6. I sure found out A whole new meaning to being respectful last night!!

    1. Feel free to explain for us, Jaime.

  7. I agree that a spanking is the best punishment to use when correcting a wife’s behaviour. It is powerful and can bring a wife to tears quickly. I always make my wife stand in the corner when I give her a spanking and it really adds to the punishment through both humiliation and reflection. She hates having to display her spanked bottom in the corner. But I have on occasion given her cornertime for minor things and while she does not enjoy it, it’s not quite as powerful, and she still must be nude. Writing lines on its own for minor things isn’t bad either but not as powerful as writing them sitting on a hard chair with a very, sore behind. While I regularly make my wife write lines and stand in the corner, they are far more powerful discipline tools to accompany a hard, bare bottomed spanking over my knee.

  8. TxCoGrl83 Avatar

    I for sure agree a spanking is my biggest deterrent. By far. I think I’m embarrassed to say this, but my second worst punishment is my phone being restricted. My husband will put on a screen time password and only allow the phone, map, and a couple others he deems a necessity. This to me is horrrrrible. Texting with friends, social media, anything… I can not
    tell you how many times I go to use my phone to google this or that, or text a friend something funny and UHG I CANT. I feel sorry for my transgressions all day long EVERY TIME I WANT TODO ANYTHING on my phone!! I will do almost anything to avoid this passive punishment, almost as much as a spanking…

    I would even take a light spanking over this, but we do not really do light spanking haha…

    He has given me a choice that I could trade my phone punishment for a spanking, but I was to afraid, i thought about it for a second, but no thank you. I was pretty sure he was ready to make a statement that if I choose a spanking to avoid the phone restrictions it’s not gonna be easy!!
    So I for sure do agree spankings are what truly form improved behavior. They are what floats into my mind when I am about to speak in a disrespectful tone, raise my voice, or decide I am not going to be sweet and supportive when a decision is made. I can feel myself struggling within because every wife who has committed to this lifestyle knows the struggle sometimes when you feel you need to get another word in, or make one more argument for why you are right is super real! It’s hard. So many people think it’s weak to submit. It’s the opposite. It’s taken all of my strength, and I would like to think I’m pretty strong, to smile and to feel in my heart, true and utter submission to my husband. It’s easier to argue and not keep your emotions in check. It’s easier to just yell…
    We do not practice many passive punishments either in our house. I’m trained to be the wife and woman I am by facing a “talk”with my husband. The phone is usually in addition to, but sometimes it just that. It’s not easy though and I absolutely try to avoid my phone being restricted any way I can.

    Thank you again Mr. Aaron Husband

    1. You’re welcome. I appreciate your husband’s firmness and consistency. Your willingness to learn from him is a great example for other women. I’m sure it brings much peace to your home too.

  9. Our oldest son’s wife asked if she could be corrected with being grounded or extra chores because she felt being spanked on her bare bottom and having to stand nude in the corner was demeaning and as an adult she didn’t think it was right that she be punished this way. She had agreed that would be subject to spankings before they were married but she had said she would be obedient and she didn’t think she would need to be spanked. Unfortunately, her idea of being obedient did not agree with our son’s idea of her being obedient , which was based on his observation of the behavior of his mother. His wife was really not ready, based on her permissive up bringing, to conform to how strict our son would be. For example, she was very upset that she had a strict dress code, and a early bedtime just like his mother and his sisters had when he lived at home before his marriage. She felt the rule of tub and bed was demeaning to her. When he talked to me about all this, I told him that his wife’s behavior was quite normal, like most wives brought up in a permissive home she had a prideful instead of a submissive attitude. It would take time to bring her to true submission and obedience rather than the surface level of submission many Christian wives think is true submission. I told him that the only way to change her prideful attitude was the regular use of the strap I gave him on their wedding day. He took my advice. Now when we visit them or they visit us, from what I observe , her attitude is quite different then it was at the beginning of their marriage. When we tell Jane and her it’s tub and bedtime , there is no longer any unspoken defiance, she obeys as willingly as her mother in law, Jane and her only have pride in how submissive and obedient they can show themselves to be to anyone present. So, the lessons here is that spankings work as long as the HOH is consistent and sets clear expectations.

  10. My husband, unfortunately, is also in favor of spank, he believes it is the most effective method to keep me on the path.
    he says that the belt is the best teacher and that the brush cleanses sins
    but he also believes that non-corporal punishment plays an important role in complementing the punishment to reinforce the lesson.
    he thinks corner hours are indispensable for reflection.
    and that the humiliation of some positions reinforces the submission

  11. Though I think a good hard spanking is the best way for my husband to guide me towards better behavior, he often chooses what you call the pacifist punishment. I do have to write scripture for minor misdeeds, and I have had my mouth soaped for using foul language. And sometimes these forms of guidance (my husband hates the word punishment) will come after a spanking as well. When I get guidance, most often it is a corner time, followed by prayers, followed by a spanking, followed by cuddling and aftercare. There are times when there will be additional things for me to do such as write lines, seek forgiveness, or additional housework. As always, I submit to my husband to determine what is the best for me.

    1. You have a wonderful attitude. I’m sure you both benefit from your husband’s leadership, and your acceptance of his guidance for you. Spanking is definitely effective, and faster than some other forms of discipline.

  12. […] and respond to discipline by turning some behavior around. I am pleased with her, and with the system of correction I use. She has never rebelled against my authority. She knows I have the right to discipline […]

  13. […] I hear from you; the stories of men and women who have improved their marriage because spanking put an end to problems — who go on joyously about the peace that it brought them — as well as those who are […]

  14. […] will always appear with a wife, and I find tanning my wife’s bottom quickly and effectively deals with it. I give it to her as her little helper. Spanking turns around individual problems, as well as […]

  15. […] — is only half her day monitored, is her husband truly concerned for her welfare? Spanking instills in her that her man is head, she cannot disobey him, and her behavior is so wrong it deserves to be […]

  16. […] immediate results. That’s why my warnings are not that she will be grounded. They are that she will be spanked, and she knows it will be […]

  17. […] system to lead and correct your wife, as I have written in several articles, I find they are inferior to spanking her. Spanking ends a conflict very quickly. It puts her wrong in the past very quickly. It cleanses […]

  18. María Avatar

    Mi esposo es partidario de complementar los azotes con castigos pacifistas. Pero siempre los aplica después de una buena paliza en mi culo desnudo.
    Escribir lineas sentada con mi culo desnudo sobre una silla con un felpudo áspero.
    Tiempo de esquina desnuda o semidesnuda de cintura para abajo.
    Hacer tareas de casa con el trasero desnudo.
    Cuando soy perezosa después de la correspondiente azotaina, me echa en mi ano una crema picante para que haga las labores de casa con diligencia.
    Estos son algunos de los castigos que sufro pero que acepto porque se que me hacen ser una buena esposa.
    Muchas gracias por su enseñanza aronhusband, eternamente agradecida.

    1. De nada, Maria. Gracias para visitar mi sitio web. Espero que sea un bendicion a ti.

      For those non-Spanish speakers, Maria describes her husband’s methods of correction with her. She says he combines spankings with other kinds of punishment. That includes writing lines in the nude, and similarly cornertime nude. He has her do house work undressed as well, and also uses a hot cream on or in her behind after a spanking. She accepts those forms of correction because they help her be a better wife.

  19. […] unless she is of the most self-disciplined and restrained personality. It will convince her to change her behavior […]

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