Who is Getting Spanked?

According to most imaginations, women who get spanked must be very meek, tepid ladies who can be easily bossed around by their husbands. The stereotype for the religiously motivated is that the tail thrashings must go to a few fundamental southern grandmas and long-skirt wearing homeschool moms. Yet discipline is practiced  upon women of all personality types, and many women outside of the traditional Christian faith, rewarding bottoms among nonbelievers and liberal Christians alike. Thrashing the tails of some larger, and not very docile ladies.

As I’ve mentioned before, I learned to spank ladies from a woman who was as far from Christian as you might imagine. Nor was she meek and tepid in her personality. The ladies I spanked before becoming Christian were also to my knowledge unbelievers, and their attitudes were ones mostly of female independence and careerism. These were contemporary, educated, independent women. They all either desired to be spanked, or accepted spanking as a part of being with their man.

You will find reading forums, both Christian and Non, that the women who desire spanking in their marriage, and who perhaps suggested or begged their husband to spank them, were often bolder and stronger-willed than average. They were not all some prototypical quiet girl. They often have an attitude. They might have a mouth on them. Many have a career and have been used to being independent for years. The attraction of spanking then, is not just for the weak-willed women, but is for all women. Why? because spanking speaks to the submissive soul of the woman, is effective in changing her bad attitudes, and carries a great erotic power, with continual interplay between masculine and feminine. These benefits are all true regardless of your personality type.

So who is getting spanked? You should not be surprised to learn that the career woman is getting spanked, since nothing in her work life changes her longing to be humbled by her man and made submissive to him. No salary in the world can replace giving up control to her man, and letting him take charge instead. He might earn half as much as she does, but she still wants him to lead her and the home. She still wants his hand to be training her and making her bottom feel the heat.

You should realize that the larger-than-usual woman, who has an obvious mannish streak, also gets spanked. Some people assume she’d be the one dishing it out, but in reality she’s not. She gets tired of people thinking that way about her. God just made her a little butch. But she wants nothing more than her man to teach her a good lesson, and to know she has to bow down to him because it is his will. She is completely his when she is bent over, getting a grueling paddling until she is quivering and in tears, soft and feminine before him. She gives up her full range of control to him, even though she knows how to be bold and assertive. She gets on her knees and her man does all he desires with her.

The atheist is getting spanked as we speak. She may deny God with her mouth, but she still has all the knowledge God placed in her heart, and the nature He gave her. She knows she needs authority, and the fulfillment of being led, rather than having to control everything by herself. Despite denying the law of God, she knows some of the same things are wrong, and deserve to be punished. She knows that she needs to be cleansed in her soul, and freed from guilt, and while refusing to call them sins, still wants to have her transgressions purged and her record wiped cleaned. She gets over her man’s knee for these purposes regularly. He chastises her, forgives her, and restores her. She may be the green-haired coffee barista, the artist, or the congress woman, but she bends down for her husband and gets spanked back into shape. She may not want to submit to God. But she knows she has to submit to something. God made her that way.

The things that make spanking attractive, and also beneficial, are perceived by nearly any personality type. It is knowable truth, not limited to Bible believers, but to all with human nature and reason. If anything, I believe it is the more assertive ladies that seek out spanking more often, since they are burdened sometimes by their assertiveness, or by their heavy responsibilities. Naturally gentle ladies love to be spanked as well, and will find they have an easier time submitting to their man on a variety of levels. There is an internal quiet and softness they have, making them more obviously built for the task.  Likewise there are women who reject spanking from all personality types. They didn’t reject it because of their personality, but because they’ve been trained by their culture that it is wrong, or they have some fear of the act, or the trust involved. Spanking is rooted in the good it does, NOT in personality types. It is rooted in the cleansing it brings to the soul, the peace it brings to the home, along with its unparalleled heated intimacy. Among friends and family you know, there are some who practice spanking and it would not surprise you. There are others you would never expect.


12 responses to “Who is Getting Spanked?”

  1. […] Shortly after learning about domestic discipline, either through the power of imagination or the internet (few people learn from friends), some find it very attractive and want to know where they can find someone to spank or be spanked by. It may seem like a difficult task in a society that either does not talk about spanking, or looks down on it. I suspect that most people learning about it and wanting to have it in their lives go to spanking singles websites, or perhaps spanking forums where they might meet interested men or women. […]

  2. […] things. However, the mechanics of discipline, its tools, and much human emotion and psychology is virtually universal, so I expect that the non-Christian can learn much about discipline from these pages. If you do not […]

  3. […] online, or been at least curious about it. You’ll find there’s a good chance it’s not a shock when you bring it up to a prospective partner. They haven’t been living on Mars or Pluto, you […]

  4. The benefits of a good paddling are numerous. It keeps me close to my HoH and I as his helper aspire to be the best Mother and Wife I can be.

    1. Thank you for your comment. There are many women who would benefit likewise. I believe we will see more strong marriages when we see more that use discipline. Take care.

  5. Heather Avatar

    In talking with my husband about spanking me, and how I need his correction for my faults and sins against him, and need to feel it on my backside, he occasionally brings up the question, “what about men? How are they instructed about their faults?” Rhetorically I asked him if he wanted me to spank him, which predictably and thankfully he said “absolutely not” and was quite horrified by the thought, as also I am as well. Neither one of us can envision that world, although I know some people do that and I just can’t wrap my head around it.
    So emotionally we both know that that’s just plain wrong, but philosophically he keeps asking the question because philosophically it seems wrong to him that I would depend on his correction and it not somehow be “fair” in the other direction, again even though he knows intrinsically that he wants no part of that.

    I find myself with troublesome questions as well though, which I’m pretty confident Aron you will have an answer for so might I avail myself of the resource that you are.

    (Side note: I don’t know what type of Christian denomination you come from, but my background is pretty strongly oriented towards understanding spiritual gifts. To that end I find yours quite interesting! You seem uniquely gifted in understanding the dynamics between men and women and that are rarely grasped and even more rarely articulated, and understanding and making known the mysteries of marriage itself. I love seeing the revelation you have even for how this works out among people who don’t even know God. You are like some sort of spiritual doula or midwife, not for pregnancy, but for helping men come forth as the practical leaders of their wives, and as so many of the people receiving from your ministry here are actually women, you are also helping birth women into a fulfilled womanhood of learning to submit to their husbands in everything. It is a very unique gifting and calling you have, and I am so grateful that you have embraced it and walked into it by having this blog, and more than that I’m grateful to have found your blog and that by your wife’s reverent submission, that she has been a hidden yet integral part of this ministry as you have undoubtedly learned many of these things together.)

    So my theological question is this:
    Isn’t it true in the Christian Life that the only real and lasting transformation of character comes from the finished work of Christ on the cross and the work of the Holy Spirit in our hearts? Catholic monks of the past for instance often used self-flagellation to both absolve themselves of guilt and to teach themselves to live a more holy life, and most Protestants today look at this as severely misguided and a detrimental ascetic practice. There is a concern that such a thing risks attempting to grow spiritually through a practice that does not depend on Christ but one’s own efforts, and sort of like it says in Colossians about certain types of rules lacking any value in restraining sensual indulgence, but having an appearance of wisdom without any real spiritual power. As always, I don’t ask such questions of you to dispute with you, I crave my husband’s rod with everything within me, if you have done anything so far you have only set me free to embrace what I already knew I wanted but felt was wrong to desire. Yeah this morning I find myself plagued with nagging doubts again of this theological nature, why do I need to be beaten, will this accomplish the work of the holy spirit in my life? Am I lifting up something and asking my husband to step into a role that will only detract me from depending fully on Christ for his work in my life? Is it a fleshly desire to want fleshly correction when this could never achieve the transformation that only the spirit can bring? And is it wrong for me to want to feel punished and scourged with cleansing physical fire for my sins when Jesus took the penalty for them already?

    Thank you brother, I/we look forward to whatever thoughts you can share on these things, both towards my husband’s questions above and my own.

    1. Hello Heather, Thank you for your questions. I am very blessed that I am able to reach so many men and women through this ministry. Having seen so much failure in marriage, including in the churches, I am overjoyed to be able to work to improve marriages, especially in seeing men and women take on their rightful roles. Much of the Church simply won’t speak clearly on the topic, or they won’t speak rightly at all. If God uses my skills at teaching, or writing, or counseling to help others, may it all go to the glory of His Kingdom. I do believe that spiritual gifts are significant in our walk, but am not a believer in the continuation of miraculous gifts, which were for a specific purpose, at the foundation of the Church.

      It is true that the goal is inner growth and spiritual renewal. Accepting punishment in no way goes against this. Rather, if done with the right frame of mind, chastisement can simply be a method which God uses to teach you, and shape your soul into Christ’s image. God is correcting you, as it were, through your husband. It is an aid to transformation if received humbly, and for God’s purposes.

      However, just like a justice system in society, discipline is there to serve a practical purpose also, whether it plays a role in inner transformation or not. The criminal has a debt that really needs to be paid. Society needs to know that crime will be punished. A deterrent really needs to be made regarding future behavior. We’d love to see the criminal changed inside, but those things ought to be accomplished anyway. Likewise, marital discipline fulfills many necessary practical purposes, even if at times it does not fulfill the ideal purpose.

      Does no one need to be punished anymore because Christ died on the cross? Discipline in marriage no more threatens to replace the atonement for our sins than the legal punishment of crime does. It’s purpose is not to atone for your sinful nature, and bring eternal peace with God. Only Jesus Christ could do that. Its goal is not to take us out of the family of Adam and bring us into the family of God. Christ already did that. Punishment for the believer, like any act of sanctification, is a matter of correction and growth as a Christian. Christ provided us salvation at the cross, but we still work out that salvation over time, including through acts like baptism, communion, obedience, and suffering. It is the application of Christ’s fulfilled deliverance, and it works to perfect us.

      The fact that being chastised does not threaten the atonement can be also seen in the fact that God promises to chastise His children even AFTER they are believers. Why is that if they are already saved? Because it takes them off of a wicked path, it cleans them of a temporary stain, it brings them into obedience to Christ in all things. There is nothing like humbly accepting a correction, whether verbal or physical, to bring us in harmony with the walk of Christ. Suffering is not some great devil, but is a key ingredient in eternal life.

      There is nothing too fleshy in desiring to be spanked. It is natural, as authority and correction are an integral part of life. Being in submission, and having rules, provide peace and stability. Being punished, when done justly and in love, helps us to remove our guilt and make us know we are clean. It is a part of spiritual and mental health to have a leader and to be corrected. So long as you are not seeking to be justified through rules and a temporal punishment, it does not threaten the Christian life at all.

      Fleshy desires, moreover, are not wrong — so long as they are in subordination to the spirit and the mind. We are free to long for food, or for sex, or for a hike on a beautiful day, so long as that desire is under the law of God. It is no more fleshy to desire the experience of being spanked, than to desire to play a game with our children, or see a gorgeous work of art. Depending on how we experience it, the desire could be selfish, it could be helpful, or it could be holy.

      I do not believe in self flagellation as a form of spiritual discipline. The Christian can grow better through disciplines taught clearly in Scripture — prayer, fasting, hard work, and service to others. All believers should fast regularly. If you really want the Lord to crucify your flesh, try becoming a parent, and raising all the children God gives you. It is especially a part of holiness for women, who, according to the apostle, are “saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.” I do believe that monks practice many of the more biblical forms of self discipline, and that’s a good thing. They are in many ways an example to us all. However, I don’t see self-flagellation as a normal form of it.

      I hope that answers your questions. Blessings.

      1. Heather Avatar

        Thanks so much Aron for taking the time to write all that. You present such a holistic view of earthly life connecting to spiritual truth. It’s very clarifying to read that.
        Unfortunately I had to wait a long time in life before finding a husband. Even so, while I had a boyfriend in high school where we made out and kissed, I soon learned better and then waited for marriage. My husband is the first man that I have physically known. However, the wait was so very long. And now we very much want to have children but it is not happening easily. Still, we have reason to hope and believe that God will bless us with children soon.

  6. Searching Avatar

    I have just made my way through your body of work to this article and I would like to take a moment to comment on the religious men who practiced flagellation. I understand that this is off topic. Their suffering is similar, but not quit the same, to a woman who wishes to be closer to her husband and craving the feeling of being loved, cherished and cared for through the practice of domestic discipline.

    These men were doing this in imitation of Christ only, not to self absolve themselves. They wished to get so close to our Lord on such a higher, more intimate level that they were willing to live his passion and suffering for the world by applying a much, much less violent version of being scourged than He received before dying on the cross within their own bodies. This IS NOT to absolve themselves. How ridiculous. Only God can forgive sins.

    When I saw that statement I had to just stop and make this comment. I am Catholic and we have the sacrament of reconciliation not the sacrament of flagellation. I understand that you can’t control the comments you receive. I just wanted to clarify. And just as wife spanking is a practice that you and your followers understand as very normal, these men, too used this practice as a way to imitate, not replace, Christ’s great act of love for the world when he died for our sins on the cross. They wanted to grow closer by walking in his shoes just a little. How many of us have sweated blood before? I would say not many. And though this seems like a strange practice to our modern notions and ideas, it really is similar.

    I offer this with all due respect for others opinions.



    1. aronhusband Avatar

      Hello Searching, Thank you for sharing your thoughts on discipline. That’s an interesting way to see it. There is a loose comparison to be made with those who intentionally whip themselves, only to be closer to Christ. A wife is also striving to grow through the experience, though the intentions are different. Discipline for adults is greatly under-appreciated, as is discipline for Christians. In marriage, the main purpose of spanking is to cleanse a wrongdoing, and to put it in the past. However, in putting the spirit over the flesh, it ought to also make a woman more Christlike, just as it makes her more virtuous, and more submissive. It teaches her more to live for the spirit. There are certainly more who would benefit from a whipping from time to time.

  7. Searching Avatar

    Thank you as much for your speedy reply. I am not sure if I was clear. I was just so taken aback by someone thinking flagellation is a form of self absolution. I felt I had to say something. I will try to make myself clearer.

    I am in complete agreement with your practice of domestic discipline. I have studied its history and I totally agree with the scriptural basis for it. It was completely “normal” for thousands and thousands of years until around the 1970’s.

    I was not trying to compare the 2 practices as being the same or similar, but in comparing the similarities of the feelings of closeness that results from them:
    *a woman feels close, loved, cherished and cared for after being disciplined by her husband. She knows he cares deeply for her. He loves her as she is but cares enough not to leave her that way. As you have taught, it is a way to grow, be cleansed, forgiven and forgotten. Just as God forgives us and puts our sins as far as east is to west.
    *a man who wishes to grow closer to Christ through flagellation is trying to tap into the mystery of His passion. To feel or grasp at what it must have been like to have the sins of the entire world on your back and be punished for them. He asked his father to “let this cup pass by me”, but accepted God’s will. Flagellation is not a cleansing, or a form of forgiveness. It is, a feeble attempt at best, to imitate Christ and His passion. Not self absolution.

    I was trying to explain that both of these practices should be considered normal and not judged just because they are hard for the modern mind to understand. Just as your followers don’t want to be judged for what they do, these men would not want to be judged as well. I don’t think this is practiced anymore, but I could research and find out.

    Thank you so much.

    God Bless

    1. aronhusband Avatar

      You’re welcome. We do live in an era that refuses to even try to understand these practices, and which goes out of its way to demonize corporal punishment. However, they have been recognized as valuable for thousands of years, and it is the modern culture which is truly oddball. As far as self-flagellation, I do not think it is necessary for spiritual growth, even though some men have seen fit to do it. Life gives us many opportunities to put the flesh to death, as does regular fasting, so it’s not really a necessary part of Christian growth. There’s nothing wrong with it though for those who understand it in the right way. I believe that anyone with a fair mind learning more about corporal punishment in marriage would be forced to drop the negative attitude, and recognize that it has value. Most people just are not that interested in learning. Thank you for your insights.

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