Non-Spanking Discipline

No one should feel limited to using spankings as the only form of discipline. You will find that some households use non-spanking discipline together with spanking, and others uniquely gear their correction around non-spanking methods. While I have used spanking from the start of my marriage, and would not go back, I have supplemented it with other forms of correction, and can see the value that it has.

To look at the choices, some husbands will choose a combination of verbal correction, along with removal of privileges, like taking away the wife’s car keys or her credit card for infractions. Some use grounding. You can also give her discipline sessions that include standing in the corner, and writing lines, and that involve a lecture as spanking does. Either way, you ought to have a discipline system in place.

The alternatives I have used, alongside corporal punishment, include having a time of weekly review. I used to do this for a number of months, before I finally stopped. I would review her behavior the past week, and touch on any points of improvement that needed to be made, as well as commend her for her hard work. She gave me her own evaluation of her performance also, and points she saw for improvement. Like other discipline sessions, she went through the review on her knees and undressed, and addressed me as sir. We ended the sessions with her commitment to good behavior and submission, and a kiss on her forehead.

I have also done more punishment-like sessions, as I mentioned, with corner time and writing lines. You can use these punishments for infractions that are not as serious, or when a spanking is impossible or inconvenient, such as if she’s had surgery. I don’t believe they carry near the usefulness of spanking, either for the infraction or for her submission, but they can still be a helpful tool. Writing lines can further focus her on how she will do things right in the future.

I make full use of verbal warnings. If there is a behavior which is getting close to being a serious offense, I let her know that she will earn a spanking if she doesn’t watch out. If she is just beginning to speak out of hand and be rude, I will give her a warning of an immediate trip upstairs to be taught a lesson. These can be very effective, and turn her behavior around right after I give them. She does not want to be punished so she listens and responds to warnings. As I explain in another article, the spankings themselves make my verbal corrections and my warnings both more effective.

It will take time to experiment with what is best for you, as well as what your wife responds to most. I am not the biggest fan of non-spanking correction, but it can clearly be used as a supplement, at the minimum, as can giving verbal warnings. No authority on earth comes without power and a correction system to back it up. You don’t either. Make full use of the tools available to you in leading and disciplining your wife.


13 responses to “Non-Spanking Discipline”

  1. […] more carefully the days following a spanking, but I also notice she responds more quickly to verbal corrections. I may just need to give her a gentle correction, such as coming along side her and explaining she […]

  2. […] down any fires also includes warnings before the fires appear. I have one short piece on verbal warnings and corrections on this website, and I have to mention them here. Verbal corrections and warnings help immensely in […]

  3. […] might argue that couples could achieve the same effect with discipline that is not forceful in nature — such as removing privileges. However, spanking comes across as much more of a punishment […]

  4. […] you know what I consider serious enough to warrant a spanking. Other matters might simply warrant a gentle correction, or a reminder. Serious wrongs warrant a very undesirable […]

  5. […] husbands do have an active discipline system, but do not use spanking. They may withhold privileges instead, or have their wife do a task as punishment. Some may ground […]

  6. […] in the corner. These all add to the meaning and effectiveness of a punishment, whether spanking or another. I will have my wife undressed for a formal verbal correction, or for writing lines, and it fits […]

  7. […] the seriousness of her wrong, and her need to practice obedience. Correction can be as simple as verbal instruction, or as severe as a spanking, which will burn for a while, but will not leave her injured. It is […]

  8. […] That does not mean he has to use it, but he should know he can if he needs to. He might choose other forms of discipline also. He simply should not disregard spanking. In over fifteen years of marriage I […]

  9. […] in general. If you discern that it does, you can respond in several ways. The first may be to use non-spanking punishments alongside firm spankings, ones which she truly wants to stay away from. Many husbands […]

  10. Greetings, Marriage Coach-
    My husband and I have been talking today about having a weekly verbal review, inspired by some of your postings. We thought that perhaps we would read through my rules aloud every week and discuss how I was doing with each one of them.
    We just read over this post of yours though and noticed that you said you used to do this weekly review session and you stopped. My husband wanted me to ask you why you decided to stop? Is there some aspect of this that wasn’t working well? Understanding the pros and cons of this could be helpful.
    Also, we were wondering what kinds of things your wife and you reviewed together. Is it mostly chores, or attitudes? Perhaps writing up in detail what one of these sessions might look like the way you have with corporal punishment sessions would be a benefit.
    Thanks as always,
    Colin and Heather

    1. Hello Colin and Heather, It’s good to hear from you. I’m glad you can see the possible value in having a verbal review period. I stopped doing the weekly review because I believed it had already accomplished its job. Seeing that it had been a success, I didn’t see the point in spending the time with it. However, I started the verbal review up again a few months ago, due to some immature resistance to being corrected which I saw in her.

      Topics which I cover with her are part general, and part specific to any specific problems I have seen. I review her submission, her manner of speech, and her weekly responsibilities. I ask her about areas of improvement, and I mention things she needs to improve on if I’ve seen some. I review how she needs to respond to my correction and discipline, and the overall purpose of her correction. I also go over her coming responsibilities, as well as her commitment to obedience in the coming week. It may vary a little each time, but this is the basic template.

      I hope that gives you some help in deciding if you will use it. Let us know how it works for you if you do.


  11. mister504 Avatar

    Just a quick note to thank you for your useful blog. I’ve made use of a number of techniques on these pages and the improvement in attitude and obedience is really good.

    1. Thank you, Mister. I’m glad the methods I write about are useful to you.

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