Tears During a Spanking

If you are preparing to use discipline in your marriage, or a just curious, you can easily imagine that you will be seeing some tears and crying as you punish her. This is the case for most couples, and it is the case in my marriage as well. But it is one thing to expect tears, and another to deal with them, and learn not to be afraid of causing your woman to cry as you correct her. You’ll be handling tears up close and personal.

Many people are taught in this culture to never strike a woman, or to make her cry, but if you see the value in marital discipline, you are obviously prepared to dismiss this cultural attitude. A good loving discipline is a reason to strike a woman’s bottom, and also cause her to cry abundantly. One thing you need to know is that tears are a natural, and good part of her experience of punishment. Do not fear them. Continue to spank her while she cries, and until you are satisfied you have delivered an appropriate punishment.

A woman being spanked and lectured by her husband will cry for various reasons. She may cry over feeling ashamed she had to bare herself and had her behavior criticized, even by words alone. It’s very humbling. She may cry because she truly feels bad over her behavior, and over letting her husband down. Ideally, they should be sincere tears of regret. But they won’t always be.

A woman may also cry over the pain of a spanking, especially if she is new to it, or over a desire to be close to her man who now has her in a frustrating position and is not showing her affection. She wishes she could be close to him and please him again. She may long for his arms, and his acceptance. A woman may also burst into tears over whatever stress or worries built up in her soul that week, and now, in the incredible loss of control, and the forceful chastisement, all her stress is coming out of her. Whatever the reason, crying is often good for a woman, and is usually a good sign during a spanking. It is a sign you are definitely getting through to her, both body and soul, which is exactly what you want. You are working on her mind and heart with your words, and at the same time delivering a message deep inside her through the spanking. Both of those can bring her tears.

Continue to spank until you reach the point of desired severity, and of seeing regret on her part. You should see a softness to your words and to your will. You do not stop any earlier or later because of tears. During the harsher punishments, I will surely continue quite some time with hard smacks to the bottom after the tears begin. She will be quivering, in tears, and breathing heavily by the end. If she is having a truly hard time with the correction, you may pause and speak with her, to assure her of your love as you correct her. You may assure her things will be okay and she is always your treasure. But you do not end the spanking.

That willingness to do what is painful in the moment, for the sake of building her up in the long run, is a part of love. This is the same woman you think highly of, and speak highly of. It is the same woman you talk with, laugh with, and kiss fondly. You are taking her down a peg to lift her up. She has learned she cannot rebel, and she has learned the consequences of her wrong. She has learned how completely she is in your hands, and how she needs to follow your lead. Many would be sad to see a woman spanked to tears, and sobbing deeply, but it is great healing in the long run. For her and for your marriage.

After the spanking, and after she calms down, she will be more at peace. I don’t plan to speak much of aftercare here, but it is good to give her time to finish crying when you are done, such as in the corner. Then, when she’s able to talk more easily, you can finish with your discipline session. Have an idea from the start of what the spanking should be like and stick to it. Be careful to see when you have taken her to the point of contrition, and softness to you. It is your decision how long and hard the spanking needs to be. Do not be moved by tears.


36 responses to “Tears During a Spanking”

  1. […] attempt to avoid a coming spanking may be tears. It is natural, and usually helpful to a woman for her to shed tears. As the head of the home you […]

  2. […] sound smacks on his woman’s behind, one after another, and she is just beginning to come to years, and sob. Perhaps he’s giving her the hairbrush. She’s already starting to turn […]

  3. […] to lovingly correct her for a wrong is good and caring, even if it hurts in the moment. Even if it causes some tears and a sore […]

  4. […] do if her face is in a pillow. She should fully get out what is in her, in terms of her hardship or tears. It is a compromise to keep a discipline session silent, as it loses all of these things. If you […]

  5. […] firm hand of a correction. It’s not easy to admit you are wrong, say you are sorry, and be spanked to tears. She will know how different it is to be chastised soundly by you and will want to return quickly […]

  6. […] to admit to being wrong, being scolded by a loved one, and having to endure the pain of a spanking, crying is frequent. Some women cry every time they are spanked. If she does not, it could be a sign of certain […]

  7. […] after being spanked thoroughly. This is especially true if it has hurt a lot and if there are still tears in her eyes. But it can help her to learn to say it, and know why she says it. Those simple words […]

  8. […] She is completely his when she is bent over, getting a grueling paddling until she is quivering and in tears, soft and feminine before him. She gives up her full range of control to him, even though she knows […]

  9. I appreciate it a lot.

    1. I’m very happy to hear that. Thank you.

  10. Thank you. That’s great to hear! I hope the articles are a blessing to you.

  11. I’m very sorry. I am not very tech-savvy. I could only recommend you go back and see if you can alter the check-boxes. I’m not sure how to help you. Thanks.

  12. Spot on with this write-up, I seriously believe that this site needs much more attention. I’ll probably be returning to read through more, thanks for the info!

  13. My dear wife seems to lose control when she is spanked, she often pleads and begs , even asking the Lord to help
    her, promising to be a good girl from now on , almost the entire spanking I have tried to order her to take her spanking with less carrying on but this is useless , she really seems to have no control of her self when she is spanked.. Of course I cannot let this behavior allow her to escape a spanking she deserves. Over the years I just ended up accepting this behavior and I guess she does seem to have more self control now then we were first married, thought she still caries on. I wonder if this is unique

    1. Women can be very different in their responses. Many women shed tears during discipline, or even during a verbal chastisement. Your wife’s reaction seems like she is more overwhelmed by the experience, but it is probably not unique.

  14. As a TiH I can say I’m really gratefull for every spanking to tears (because of pain). Gives the best results compared to other punishments. At the beginning my husband had a problem with giving me so harsh spanking but he also noticed it cause a great results. So day after day it was easier for him to handle my crying. Yes, spanking hurts a looot, but if your TiH needs that, just follow that needs to help her improve herself, even its cause her tears. Those tears are good, and remind yourself each time, you are doing something good for her, for your marriage and your family.

    1. Thank you, Nina. I think we all appreciate hearing that from the woman’s perspective. I’m glad you can see the value in a hard spanking. A wife’s tears are definitely a sign you are doing something right.

  15. Carbunckle Avatar

    Where can I find traditional clothing the sort a good wife should wear?

    1. Hello Carbunckle, It can be hard to find modest clothes for women. Unless you want to spend hours or days searching ordinary shops, it is good to go to special modest apparel stores, many of which are online. There are both traditional ones and modern ones. The modern ones are not always as modest.

      A Mennonite style shop is katiesmercantile (.com), and there is also modestapparelusa and hannahlise, which are more modern. There are a variety of Muslim modest clothing shops too, such as niswafashion.

      Guys have it easy in this regard. We can get regular work clothes, and find them modest and plain. Or a simple slacks and a button-up won’t show off much. Yet modesty is always more important for women, and this culture is truly upside down to display the kind of flesh that it does. Women should show more self respect and cover up It will affect behavior in other ways positively too.

      I hope that helps.

    2. Carbunckle You can find affordable modest clothing from ” Modest Apparel USA” This is where my wife gets most of her clothing from. Our Daughters too


  16. Bruce Bonner Avatar
    Bruce Bonner

    i think a spanking could work for a wife or a husband if the wife is stronger and bare bottom would be okay. But you need two things. the spankings should only be every once in a while. if frequent spanking not working and the spanker is only getting rid of his or her anger. The wife or husband probably must have a low threshold for pain or maybe embarrassment works.

    1. Hello Bruce, Thank you for your comment, and for visiting my website. Spanking works in many homes, but may not work for everyone. It is for a husband to use to correct his wife, since he is the head of the home. I don’t believe spankings need to be frequent, although in the case she is just learning to be submissive, or has some recurring problems, more frequent ones can help. In general, if a wife is doing her best to be submissive, spankings will not be very common. Certainly a husband should spank according to need, and never just when he is angry. They should be given calmly and in self control.

  17. Bruce Bonner Avatar
    Bruce Bonner


    1. Yes, it is different on multiple levels. Some men are afraid to bring their wives to tears, during a spanking. But tears are natural, and are usually a good sign. Keep spanking past tears, and until the lesson has been a firm one.

  18. Bruce Bonner Avatar
    Bruce Bonner


    1. Yes, you will usually see tears from your wife, both from the shame she feels, and the pain of the spanking. It can also be from a general release of her feelings and of stress. They help to bring her back to that peaceful, and submissive place she needs to be.

  19. I never cry and I don’t understand it! It is super painful and I beg him to stop every time, but the tears don’t flow. I feel like there is something wrong with me. I never thought I had a really high pain tolerance but I didn’t have any drugs during childbirth and I never cried then either. Does this happen often?

    1. Hello CompletelyHis, Thank you for sharing your situation. It can be uniquely satisfying to shed tears, especially during a correction. However, there are a few women who have trouble crying. Tears don’t only come from experiencing pain, but from a kind of emotional, or even spiritual release. Perhaps you have difficulty letting go, or letting someone else see you let go. I wouldn’t worry about it too much though, as discipline can still be of great benefit even when you don’t cry.

  20. What if your wife is pregnant? Do you alter the spanking? Or keep everything the same?

    1. This is a question that always comes up in discussing marital spanking. People don’t all handle it the same. There are a few couples that cease spanking entirely during the pregnancy Others simply are careful not to spank with too heavy instruments, or might pause spanking only towards the very end of the pregnancy. I have never had any problems due to giving a spanking when my wife was pregnant, but it is always best to be careful. Thank you.

  21. anon123 Avatar

    Do you support nonconsensual spanking? Do you believe a man has the right to use other types of physical discipline, like punching, kicking, and striking other parts of the body?

    1. Hello, Thank you for your questions. I cover the basic principles of consent in discipline in this article: https://spankingyourwife.com/2021/04/09/consent-in-a-spanking-marriage/

      It’s kind of like asking if you believe in nonconsensual arrest of citizens. In short consent is used to enter into a relationship in which the wife is under authority, but is not needed to be asked for each time discipline is given. However, a submissive wife gives her consent regularly through her cooperation anyway.

      Ideally, the consent to discipline naturally comes together with the consent to marry. That is because in principle the husband is authority, and has a right to discipline his wife. However, in cultures which deny a husband’s true authority, it is normal to arrange consent to discipline apart from consent to marry, by discussing it before marriage, or later when they bring discipline into the home.

      I believe marital discipline is simply wife spanking. That is a self-controlled, and loving punishment, given on the bare bottom, or occasionally on the upper thighs. It is given with hand or instruments. It is not given out of anger, but in order to enforce the rules and guide a woman towards better behavior. I would view punching or kicking as outrageous, and dangerous behavior, and warn anyone against it.

      I hope that helps answer your question.

  22. Five months in this new way of life and my eyes have watered but I’ve had no tears. We have had to learn so much about implement usage and tolerance. I’ve had two blisterings and multiple bruises, some of which required additional time to heal and delayed maintenance. I wanted to cry. Tears would not come. I think the years of building walls and stoic behavior, and emotional strength or repression enough for life events has hardened a part of me I can’t reach, yet. Consciously, I’m repentant, remorseful, and making changes. I think as my submission becomes deeper and more rooted in daily activity, and my needs are met through communication with my husband, rather than me having to do it all, I will find the softer more open and vulnerable soul I hope develops.

    1. Hello Demhi, You’re not the only woman who has difficulty crying. I agree, as you soften with time, and grow more comfortable with opening up about your feelings, it will become easier. One thing that can help is not only a hard punishment, but a firm and personal lecture during the correction itself. Words have a way of touching the soul that greatly assists the instrument. Tears are not necessary, but they do help in a successful correction.

      1. I hope that will come with time. I am thankful we have come this far. He isn’t as determined as I am right now. Lecturing isn’t something he has embraced. He knows I understand boundaries and rules, and hasn’t been able to chastise me during sessions. I have no doubt it would help. I feel so badly when I disappoint him. I wish he read your blog.

    2. escotosue Avatar

      The resonates with me! Although my husband and I are just getting started I haven’t cried in years and I long for that. As one wife that practices CDD told me “you need him to break you down to build you up as the wife and woman you want to be and he needs you to be”

      I totally understand now how I’ve used my emotions to control my husband even without tears. Tears and other emotions we women use can be nothing more than manipulation. As the article stated tears can be good and sincere, “but they won’t always be.”

      I look forward to fully submitting to my husband and for him to not be overly concerned over my tears or even pleads to stop. I trust he’ll know when punishment is complete.

Leave a Reply