While we mostly think of spanking in marriage as being for punishing an offense, in many marriage is also gets used as a form of training the wife in discipline and submission. Some couples have sessions only so she can become accustomed to receiving spankings, or so she can grow into submission better. This is one of the most contentious topics in the community of domestic discipline, and you are likely to get some heated replies if you show favor either way, although not from everyone. Mostly, that is because some people get offended at the idea of spanking for reasons other than punishment, and also claim it is not productive in teaching right behavior.
Spankings like these are often called maintenance spankings if they are done regularly. Other couples may call them submission spankings if they are given specifically to build submission. You will find longer training sessions called “boot camps” promoted here and there, which couples might use while starting discipline, or if the wife is slipping in her behavior, in order to jump start the learning process. These are also to aid both partners in their roles, helping the man lead, and their woman submit and be led. Any training spanking rests on the simple idea, among others, that having to bare her body, humble herself by bending over, be spanked on the bottom and verbally instructed, will aid a woman in submitting to her man. There needs be no infraction to be punished. It will speak to her soul.
I understand how some may conclude that spanking for the purpose of training could confuse the wife about discipline, and perhaps even cheapen the purpose of the punishment spankings. However, I also recognize their benefit in some situations, as many who use them would attest. I see no hard and fast rule that demands a spanking is wrong unless it is for punishment. Therefore, while I promote spanking in the punishment sense, and that this should be the overall system in the marriage, I believe it is acceptable in the short term to use spanking for other purposes. There can be very good results. It can help focus the woman back on her submission. It can help acquaint a woman who’s grown up to be independent and reject men’s authority, to learn respect for authority, and learn to be soft to his command. I think this can be very beneficial in the short term.
I don’t recommend it being done continuously in the long-term. I do agree that, with its similarity to a punishment, it could confuse both partners as to the purpose of punishment discipline. It could also form the habit of viewing spanking as a response to too many things, and lead it to be practiced too often. This then, as I have warned elsewhere, can make the marital relationship too much about external motivation, or about discipline in general.
I have used spankings for training my wife in the early years of marriage. This was when I believed she was continuously being careless about some things, and I found that giving her a regular spanking as a reminder to respect my words would get her out of this habit, which it did. I gave them once a week for several months, and kept them lighter than the usual punishment spanking. This is common for couples who use maintenance.
Years ago, before marriage, I also used my own version of the boot camp, and had a day-long session only to deepen my woman’s submission. The training involved having her do work for me around my home. Throughout the day, she needed to bend over and be spanked at my command, not for any infraction, but to get her used to belonging to me and submitting everything to me. It also involved her giving herself sexually to me on command as I desired. That was with a woman I witnessed deepen in submission over time. She was very submissive in following my lead, and learned more enthusiasm for her role in serving me. She also overcame some resistance and occasional hang-ups she had. I fully approve of the boot camp idea, although like anything else, it needs to be done right, and can’t be viewed as a cure all for problems. It can be a very powerful and effective way to deepen the relationship, and make leadership and submission more complete, and fully within the fiber of your being.
Finally, another not uncommon kind of training is the reminder spanking. Some husbands will give these to remind their wives to be on good behavior in a situation she has repeatedly had trouble with. For example, if she has acted up in certain social situations, or been careless with alcohol, he may spank her before she enters that situation again. It is a preemptive warning to her to be self-controlled and obedient to her husband. It helps pacify any rebellious urges. The burning reminder, as well as the immediate presence of his authority, can help keep her mind on what she has to do, and give her good reason to avoid stepping off the path again. I have never personally given a spanking for this reason, but I can see its benefit for aiding her behavior. If it works for you, that’s a tool you can try out. A woman whose bottom is still sore from her man’s hand, and whose memory is pregnant with the powerful experience, will not easily forget that her husband is in charge.
Call them what you like. Training a woman toward submission through spanking her is regularly practiced in a large portion of domestic discipline marriages. There is some flexibility in how you choose to distinguish them from punishments, and in the purpose you choose to use them. Just like spanking for punishment, spanking for training is just one tool in building submission. It may work, it may not. Complaints against the practice are overly loud and not well founded. Just be careful not to rely on it heavily, or practice it too often. A woman who has just been spanked is often closer to her man than before, and fully embracing her submission. Whether for punishment or training, it is a lesson either way.
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