Make Her a Better Woman

It’s important to remember that the goal of the discipline you deliver, much like the goal of your loving and leading every day is to make her a better person. Discipline takes care of the harsher edge of that, but it is keeping in line with the great love you have for her, and your responsibility as her husband. Spanking in marriage is simply a tool in marriage. It is not a game. it is not a chance to unleash negative emotions. It is a teaching tool in leading her in growth. She grows in godliness and virtue. You are her teacher and her protector. You do your best to make sure that growth takes place, and protect her from things that could harm it.

You are looking to better your wife. As a husband this takes place in so many ways. It is in your leading the home devotionals. It is in the example you set for her in your own submission to God. It is in instructing her in the faith and setting godly standards for the home. where standards of holiness and ethics need to be set, you set them. You also protect her from wicked influences, be it the fashions and trends of the day, or false teachers professing to be Christian. Many women who were raised to be godly fell off the path, and this has been in part because of bad teachers who lead women into feminism and rebellion. Many of these women were raised the right way, and learned rightly from their parents or a previous pastor of a church, but they picked up a book by a fashionable “minister” and were led into absurd theological beliefs and female independence. You protect your woman from this. You do not allow those things in your home, be they books, music, or videos. You give her good food for the soul, that will help her grow as a godly woman, according to what the Bible teaches.

You are bettering your wife in doing her role in the home. Your leadership and discipline help to keep her doing her duties and fulfilling responsibilities, either ones she has regularly, or the ones you give her. You have oversight over her work in the home and projects for the children and need to make sure they are done and done right. You also nurture her right attitude, both her regular devotional life, and in her submission to you as the lord of the home. Her following you reflects the people of God following Christ. She should be showing you honor and obedience, and not disregard your leadership over her.

You make sure she avoids bad habits, and harmful behaviors. You watch out for her this way. Whether it is a problem with laziness, or neglectfulness, or bad mouth, you lead her out of it. You instruct her. You set limits. You punish her when needed. All of your forms of leadership contribute together. They help to shape her together, mind and soul. They help her see your love of her, your knowledge of her, your command. You are her loving overseer. You should know and understand her, be familiar with her weaknesses, and seek to help her.

The contribution you make with discipline, is in setting firm limits when they need to be set. Spanking reminds her where the bounds are, and it also reminds her of the grave wrong of her behavior. It helps her see that wrong starkly and want to avoid it. Just as the Lord chastises us, you chastise her, not out of a desire for her destruction, but a desire to refine her, and build her up in the long run. You refine her. You train her. She may have ended up over your knee for a terrible failure, but coming out of it, will be wiser and stronger.

If her pride rises up, it is good that she spends time being humbled, and a good spanking is quite humbling. You will find a bad attitude can dissipate over your knee. She will experience that difference and be relieved she is free of it. If she thinks to dismiss your rules and your commands, the sting you give her reminds her the importance of your lead. It reminds her of her place beneath you. She then returns to where she has much more comfort. Spanking always reminds her of the greater harm of her behavior, if it was to continue in the long run, and its ugliness before God. That fire on her bottom is a picture of how awful it is.

That is all part of the learning process. It aids your words, your gentle instruction, the food for the soul you give her daily. Her softened soul will be at greater peace with you afterward. She will walk in harmony with you. Most of this culture sees a wife being disciplined as a crime nearly on par with murder. But they are drunk and high on their own philosophies. A wife being disciplined is an expression of your love and leadership. It is an aid to her growth. I believe a husband should be prepared to firmly discipline his wife when she needs it, when she has misbehaved, and also that he cares for her soul in every other way — as our Lord looks after us. You lead her, love her, and correct her.


27 responses to “Make Her a Better Woman”

  1. […] his wife of her wrong, disrobe her, and spank her bare bottom, is a loving protector who wants the good for his wife and his marriage. He is doing good for both the present and the future. He is a devoted man who […]

  2. […] ongoing nature of the offense. She is in your hands, and you are working with her, body and soul, for her good. You choose the heat to apply, and the color her bottom will be when you are finished. She will see […]

  3. […] their sex life, but that has never been the main motivator for me. Disciplining my wife betters her behavior. It helps keep her soft and submissive to me. It reinforces and strengthens our roles of leadership […]

  4. […] Nakedness also fits with discipline because of their marriage. Just as the wife undresses for the marriage bed to make love, she undresses now, but to be intimate and penetrated in another way. With words that will teach and correct her, and with a burning punishment that can bring tears from deep within her. The firmness of her husband in correction touches her deeply as intimacy does, and if done right, should be cleansing afterward. She really has been reached deep within. Being bare, and naked before her husband communicates that, more to her than to him. She is being laid bare, so she must be laid bare. It is not for pleasure, but something has been touched, and has been fixed within. […]

  5. […] as He teaches. A person spanking you should be one who knows you, is committed to you, cares about your betterment, and has legitimate rights to your body. There is only one person who can do all that. Why play […]

  6. […] How does this happen? It does not happen by accident. Granted, there are good traits that she learned as a child. She also has a sincere faith, although it was not nearly as mature when we were married, or as strong. The factors that bring about this harmony include how I as the head of the home lead the home. I give her much credit for her own virtue, but I have also led her in that virtue from the start, and made decisions in the marriage that do not allow it to drift away from the right path. […]

  7. […] wife for being humble and strong enough to receive the lesson that I gave her that evening, and to respond very well to it. She immediately reversed her behavior and obeyed her man’s word, although we’ll […]

  8. […] Women have a unique challenge in seeking out what they desire — which is that they do not do it from an authority position. They do it from a position under their husband. Any woman who is accustomed to this, and comfortable with it, will be able to still approach the subject and ask their husbands for what they desire — they simply do it with gentleness, and while showing a high respect for him. They do it by ultimately respecting his decision too. Some simple asking and explaining can accomplish this goal. So will asking him about his desires, and how he sees it. So as not to be ever present in the discussion, leaving him with material to read will also help in gentle encouraging your husband to give it a try. As you will hear from others — be careful what you wish for. A spanking is not easy to take. It is humbling and it hurts. Being refined is a process, and will take work and discipline on your part, and biting down on your ego. If your man runs with the idea, be ready to be trained, and for some things in your life to change. You will have to spend a little time in the fire to be made a better woman. […]

  9. […] reject spanking as a possible use of it. I see a recognition of the benefits of spanking, and its fitting use in marriage, coming along with a recognition of authority and discipline. Some still think that’s a far […]

  10. […] in being led by her man. It fulfills her soul which was designed to be led. She is led, taught, made better, corrected, and then fully restored to live in his love. Spanking fits into the tapestry of the […]

  11. […] He understands his authority. He understands the good purpose of that authority. He seeks to better his wife with the discipline. Most husbands who reject spanking really need to understand authority first, […]

  12. […] approaches the discipline with a sense of love for his wife, love meaning a care for her good and her betterment. He should also know that despite his natural desire to protect his wife, he will have to be hard […]

  13. […] a crime that a wife being corrected should have to learn to live with a sore backside, for her own growth in virtue, and as your […]

  14. […] patience, firmness, and love. Your wife is under your leadership and authority. You are responsible for her good. Do not allow disrespect or disobedience in your own home, and keep her from bad behavior, […]

  15. […] periods early on. Be willing to find it difficult. You are training a woman and refining her for her own good, and the rewards truly are incredible.  woman cleansed of pride, rebellion, or filth is a joy to […]

  16. […] your wife clean, if she needs it. I never have, but you might. It is only a small appendage of your daily washing, in which you work toward her holiness and growth in her faith. You lead her in this through […]

  17. […] I recommend that any husband keep spanking on the table as an option in marriage. That does not mean he has to use it, but he should know he can if he needs to. He might choose other forms of discipline also. He simply should not disregard spanking. In over fifteen years of marriage I have never regretted introducing it, which I did from the beginning. I have a godly and respectful wife, and it is my role to encourage her in that, and keep her that way. Her values were not always as strong as they are now. She has had other temptations working on her over the years, and influences from friends when she was younger. I am the strongest influence on her life, and I will continue to be for as long as we live. You can be confident that spanking helps a gentler woman improve. […]

  18. Avatar

    Where can I find a church will allow my husband to spank me in church in the Chicago area or near

    1. Hello Lizmaness, Spank you in church? I don’t think anyone would want that in church, and it is not the purpose of gathering together. There surely are pastors out there who believe in spanking, but you’d find they are nearly all private about it because the culture is against it. Spanking might come up in personal conversation with some pastors, but I’ve never heard of any personally that endorse it, at least not in the western world. In other cultures, such as Africa, your chances are better. I have no idea about the Chicago area.

  19. Good day, Aron.

    I wanted to thank you for this great blog. I am a 35-year-old married woman and a mother of 3 children. My husband and I have been together since 2004. I was 18 when we started dating; he is 10 years older than me. We have a wonderful marriage and three wonderful children. We live in Europe and English is not my first language so I apologize for my childish English.

    We met when I was 17 years old, he was the boss at the workplace I was working at and I fell for his power and masculinity. We started dating when I was 18 and he was 28 years old. He was dominant in the first years of our marriage and I have always desired a dominant husband. I have still always wanted him to be rougher in bed though. I need a dominant husband to feel safe and loved. We are a Christian family but we don’t go to church often

    My husband and I both have good jobs and work both full-time jobs outside the home. I have a university education, work in a demanding job, and have a higher salary than my husband. We have a great home and a beautiful life. We respect each other and he is a wonderful man and father.

    I have asked him to take me harder, spank me and take charge, he agrees with that but still, he is not taking me and dominating me as much as I desire.

    My husband spanked me for the first time a few months ago with a belt but I had to ask him for that. After that, I experienced so much peace and felt so feminine. I told him that I want him to spank me and take charge more often. I was grateful and thanked him with a head. He agreed with that but still now a few months later I always have to ask him to spank me. He never does it in the first place. I am getting tired of that and find it humiliating to have to ask him.

    I just wanted to ask for your advice.

    Best regards


    1. Hello Anna, Thanks for commenting here. I replied in some detail by e-mail to you. You can also see if any of the articles I provide offer insight your husband might find valuable. I am open to speaking with him, and I’m sure some of the other men here are as well. I hope you both grow in your roles of leadership and submission, and your home continues to be fruitful. Blessings to you and your family.

      1. Good day, Aron, and I am gratified for your answer. Best regards Anna

  20. Dear Mr Aronhusband,

    I found your website a year ago and I appreciate your ministry so much. You do a really great job writing about the truths between men and women and God in a way that’s so rare these days. Thank you and please keep up the hard work! You’re shining the light of God’s truth into unbelievers using the magnetic raw energy of duality in a culture that perverts and denigrates it. You talk about keeping a close eye on what your wife and kids watch and read. Lately I’ve been so frustrated and sad that it’s so hard to find fiction books, movies, and shows that aren’t completely feminist or perverted. Do you have any advice on where to look for wholesome entertainment?

    Thanks for your help,

    1. aronhusband Avatar

      Hello Julie, Thank you for your comment. I am glad you appreciate this website. I do what I can to help marriages through it, and I want to see many more marriages rooted in the firm foundation of God’s word.

      I do take care to run a separated home, meaning we do not simply imbibe the literature and entertainments of the world. We are careful what we listen to and watch. I believe this should be the norm for any home, and just as we would not want to feed our family garbage, we would not want to feed their soul garbage either.

      It takes a good amount of care and discernment in finding good material. As far as books, we look for Christian books by Bible believing authors. Some classical literature is good, but you need discernment with that too, as much of it is humanistic, even if it came from a Christian culture. We don’t do much in the way of movies and shows, and we don’t need to either. A family might handpick a movie, but that really requires taking the time to learn what it is about, and assure that it is wholesome. As far as the children, the parents should be present to pause any video and explain anything which might go against the word of God. There are good movies about some of the saints and martyrs, as well as about the Bible and history.

      The music that we listen to, other than perhaps old children’s songs for the kids, is Christian music. There are many centuries of inspiring and very meaningful music which the soul of the Christian should long for. The Bible teaches the Christian to sing the psalms if he is needing comfort, and to worship with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. So we both listen to Christian music, including the ancient kind, and sing it as well. We lack nothing.

      I simply would not treat ordinary media entertainment as if it is necessary. I’d advise getting rid of your television if you own one. If a family wants something fun to do they can go for a hike or play a game outside. We don’t need to be constantly staring at something anyway. The large majority of videos I watch are simply sermons, teachings, or debates.

      I hope that gives you some places to start. Just be prepared to be different from the world, as should be natural for the Christian. It will help you as a family to grow in Christ, and protect you from corruption.

      1. Thank you for taking the time to answer! That is a great point you make that “I simply would not treat ordinary media entertainment as if it is necessary.” I will certainly spend some time thinking about it and how I spend my free time. I hope one more question might be ok? Does your wife regularly follow the news? For a while now I’ve actively avoided it because I often find it so emotionally upsetting that it doesn’t seem worth it. Reading a story about something terrible that happened to innocent children could lead to days of intrusive thoughts for me. I joke that my news is filtered through my husband. But sometimes I feel like an uninformed idiot with nothing to say about world events. I know I should be humble and that feeling that way is probably pretentious, but I’m not sure if avoiding the news is taking it too far. Do you have any thoughts about it?

        1. aronhusband Avatar

          Yes, please give it some thought, Julie. Every home should practice separation, even if the exact standards may vary from home to home. As far as news, we basically check the headlines to see what is going on. If you try and keep up with everything, it becomes a part-time job, and as you say, can be utterly depressing. If we have an area of interest, I may read further into it, but I don’t do that often, and we really don’t have the time. We do look for interesting videos the children enjoy, such as animals, cars and trucks, or extreme weather, which can be educational and entertaining at once. But we are there with them to make sure it’s kosher. Blessings.

          1. Julie Avatar

            Thanks so much for that valuable information! My kids are young now and we watch a lot of videos together like ‘how electricity is made’, ‘what happens after you flush’ and ‘how does your immune system work’, haha. But now that I’m thinking about it, I can see that getting my own media consumption under careful control now is central to giving them the sort of Christian upbringing my husband and I want to give them. I appreciate your taking the time to help me. Hope you have a wonderful weekend with your lovely family!

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