What’s the Frequency

It is very common to be asked by those interested in spanking how often I spank. Others ask this too, but it provides the new beginner a picture of what seems normal in the practice, and he can work our what he does better when he’s got an idea in his head. What you’ll find in frequency, as in other areas, is that you can legitimately do things different ways, according to what is best for you.

While I wouldn’t tell anyone how often they need to spank their wives, I would caution against either attitude which learns toward spanking frequently, or very rarely. If a husband must do it all the time, it indicates to me something is wrong, either in needing to micromanage his wife, or in failing to lead her through other methods. Likewise, if a husband let ages pass between sessions, it would raise a red flag to me. For if we are really working on bettering our wife, and setting good standards for our home, there will naturally be some failings we have to deal with from her. Leaving her rarely disciplined can indicate a lack of motivation to lead the home, or a lack of consistency in spanking. Either one is poor.

I mostly make NEED the indicator of how often I spank. I simply respond to how often my wife needs it. To what infractions need to be addressed. Early in our marriage, when there was a learning curve for both of us, I’d say I put her over my knee every two or three weeks. She was just learning how I did things, and despite being sincerely submissive, also learning to drop some poor habits. She had a red tush much more often back then.

After a year or so she started going two or more months without needing to be spanked. She fell into a good routine of taking care of her work, and of listening to my lead, of hearing my words. It still happens that she gets spanked twice in a few weeks, if something has really gone wrong, but that’s rare. If I spank her these days it’s usually for putting off her responsibilities, which occasionally she falls into if she convinces herself my words were just suggestions. I’ve seen her go well over three months without being spanked as well.

As you can see the frequency is not anything I am set on. If my wife needed it more often, I’d give it. If she needed it less often I’d give it. I do believe there is legitimate usage of spankings for training rather than punishment, or for a helpful reminder into the future, but I view those as the exception to the rule and for specialized kind of situations. The rule I use is to respond to need.

For a husband to come to his own sense of norm will take some hands-on experience. It will take time in communicating, and in setting rules in his own home. It will take some judgment calls in when to punish. Over time — perhaps a year or two — you should settle on what you find best to aid her in her attitude and behavior, and to fix problems that come along. Don’t be worried if your frequency is significantly different from another husband’s, since each marriage is different and has different needs. I would focus on the principles of leading with a good set of standards, and of being consistent with discipline. The frequency will work itself out according to need.