It’s a Wonderful Life

I would like for others to have what I have. I may not have a flawlessly perfect marriage, but it is wonderful and happy and peaceful. We seek to live out what God teaches us in His Word and do it as a family. I want that for others, and I truly hate to see the destruction, anger, and breaking down of so many marriages, with the children suffering along with it. This appears to be nearly as common among Christians as among non-believers, something truly wicked, since marriage to the Christian is a little picture of salvation. I want everyone to have what is good. Despite the cynicism and mass destruction around you, marriage is wonderful.

When it comes to peace in marriage, I do not need to deal with what many spouses, particularly many men, have to live with. I do not have to listen to criticism and sarcasm from my wife. She does not belittle me or ignore me. She shows me respect. She follows what I tell her to do. I don’t need to play games with a woman who manipulates with her body, and withholds it from me if she is upset. We make love freely and regularly, and we both consider that an obligation. She would never consider withholding that from me.

Nor do I have to try to handle a woman whose mind is on the world, on being glamorous, trendy, sensual, rich, or who flirts with men. My wife has her heart with God and with her husband, and she devotes her energy and life to those things, naturally with her children too. She doesn’t challenge me, or try to make decisions without me. She knows she is within my loving yoke, decisions go through me, and my commands are decisive. She gently offers her thoughts. She respectfully expresses her desires. She does not try to tell me what to do. Nearly any man would recognize that as bliss. She is beautifully submissive, and submissiveness truly is beautiful in a woman.

How does this happen? It does not happen by accident. Granted, there are good traits that she learned as a child. She also has a sincere faith, although it was not nearly as mature when we were married, or as strong. The factors that bring about this harmony include how I as the head of the home lead the home. I give her much credit for her own virtue, but I have also led her in that virtue from the start, and made decisions in the marriage that do not allow it to drift away from the right path.

One of the simplest things is that I spend time regularly with prayer and devotionals with my wife. I am the teacher and leader of them, but my wife participates. I explain the Word of God. I apply it to our lives. I make sure we both study Scripture, practice regular confession, and serve in our own small ways in ministries. We have regular home worship together. We get down on our knees together. We have fellowship with other families that do the same.

I also lead her by showing her she is safe with me and I am her protector. While I do not kick box, or shoot guns, I show her my strength and protection by my lifelong devotion to her. My attention to her needs and some of her desires. By seeing any weaknesses and seeking to help her with them. By being a shoulder to rest on, and listen if she has fears. All of this creates peace and stability in a woman, who are more prone to stress than we are, and more vulnerable to danger. It is often very insecure women who seek to manipulate their men, or at times dominate them, but sometimes it is the men who led those women to be insecure to begin with; they were uncaring, shallow, traitorous, deceptive, and unfaithful themselves. A woman is much less tempted toward rebellion, and toward rising up, if she has peace and someone she can count on, profoundly, every day, for the rest of her life.

I lead my wife by feeding her good things. I feed her spiritually by nurturing good habits. I make sure she is modestly dressed, and dressed like a woman. This is something that stands out in this era in the West, but which would have been normal in a past era. In some crowds it looks strange, but I make sure it is the way in our home and for my wife. Her modest apparel is to reflect her heart. Her feminine apparel reflects her role as a woman, and her softness, her gentle beauty. This helps reinforce who she is, and what God has made her for. I also make sure she has godly women friends from church, and is not around the crowd that ignores half of the Bible and encourage women to behave like men. That doesn’t mean we have no liberal or unbeliever acquaintances, because we do, but her primary influence and community is with other godly women.

My authority is not ambiguous in our home. This helps her greatly in following me, and in experiencing her own softness and submission to me. Men who have an ambiguous kind of headship end up having little headship at all, and their wives do not feel led. Often they have nothing to follow. My wife knows she is led, and experiences my clear guidance regularly. While I may give advice and encouragement, I also set rules and those rules need to be obeyed. They reflect what she needs to do specifically, or how the home needs to be run in general. If she has done something wrong, I promptly tell her. She is daily experiencing my lead, hearing my words, and following me. She is always learning to be soft to her man.

When I see a fire, I put it out. That means when her attitude is rising up, or her behavior is bad, I correct her verbally and I spank her. I punish behavior that I see is harmful, or disrespectful to me, and she learns what behavior to stay away from. She learned early on that a talking to by her husband means something is wrong, she will be soundly spanked, and she will have to learn from it and do better. That is the way I run the household, and I am continually glad that I do. Small fires get put out immediately. Bad habits go away. Things she needed to do but neglected badly get done promptly after our little talks. My wife knows she is under my authority, and her behavior needs to be good. She has learned diligence over time, and often enthusiasm in the things she knows I require her to do. Part of that is the pain of learning what happens when you do not. My wife loves to please me.

Keeping down any fires also includes warnings before the fires appear. I have one short piece on verbal warnings and corrections on this website, and I have to mention them here. Verbal corrections and warnings help immensely in guiding her. This is especially since she has already learned the hard way that my warnings are real and come with something to back them up. While it is not common to have a problem with her mouth, I have given her a few warnings when her language to me began to get disrespectful, and the first thing she did was tone it down or silence it. I let her know when she is getting on dangerous ground. That helps both of us. Things are back to working smoothly. She avoids a spanking.

I lead my wife by showing her regular affection. I hold her, hug her, show her she is deeply loved and valued by her husband. We make love frequently, which helps deepen the spiritual and emotional bond. She experiences my desire for her. She can feel both my power and my tenderness every time. We learn over time just where to touch, and kiss the other, and every peak and valley of the body. I am in control when I take her, she is completely in my hands, and I care for the joy and the pleasure that she experiences with me. I take her satisfaction as a part of my job.

My wife receives regular praise. She know every day that she is treasured and valued. I praise her for her virtue, her godliness, and all of her work. I make sure I tell others how wonderful she is, and how much I value her. I boast of her regularly. My wife knows she is treasured and lifted up by her husband, not just for some great accomplishment she made, but for her character, her godly beauty, and because she is my wife. By virtue of being mine, she knows she will always be cherished.

Life together for man and wife fits perfectly well. We just need to live it the right way, which is God’s way and in harmony with our natures. We are literally designed for each other, and if we don’t know what to do, we’ve got an instruction manual. Realize that much of the broken marriages or angry ones you’ve seen around are simply the result of doing things the wrong way. They are a result of error and of evil. They do not prove there isn’t a right way to have a good marriage, but only prove the terrible consequences when you don’t do things the right way. You see marriage is good. Man and woman are friends. And together it is a wonderful life.


33 responses to “It’s a Wonderful Life”

  1. […] have a peaceful and contended marriage. My wife and I are close and have been very happy together for many years. I do not get disrespect […]

  2. […] in the clear light of day at the intimate practice, it is just a tool within the broad and deep relationship of marriage. Finding a random person to make up rules and spank you if you break them is very shallow as far as […]

  3. […] are looking to better your wife. As a husband this takes place in so many ways. It is in your leading the home devotionals. It is […]

  4. […] enforcing them, for your wife’s good and the good of the home. The whole purpose is to make the home and marriage godly, and to lead your wife in her goodness and virtue. It’s not simply to have rules. Those rules […]

  5. […] is rooted in a true union of bodies and souls. it is modeled after the union of Christ and His chosen people. It is rich, […]

  6. […] most cases, but it can be. The end result of your choices, either way, should be a safe, peaceful, godly household, and a virtuous, gentle wife. Keep your eyes on that […]

  7. What a wonderfully sweet picture of marriage! The world would be a better, happier place if all men led their wives as you do. I believe dissatisfaction in marriage is usually tied to a reversal of the traditional, God-given gender roles, and children suffer terribly when marriages dissolve. What sweet bliss to allow ourselves to slip into the comfortable, natural roles intended for us as male and female, and to find our corresponding puzzle piece who fits us so perfectly. Your writing so beautifully captures how marital discipline fits within the loving, tender bond of a man and his wife. Thank you for continuing to be an inspiration!

    1. Thank you for the encouragement. Marriage is meant to be a blessing for the whole world, as well as as witness to salvation. We should see it for the bliss that it is. I agree a great deal of hardship comes from disregarding the right gender roles. When you use something in the wrong way, friction is going to result. There is great harmony when we use it the right way. Bless you.

      1. makemel4ugh Avatar

        The article itself is very uplifting & gave me a sense of peace reading it, Ty

        1. You’re welcome. I want to uplift what marriage can and should be. I want more men and women to experience that kind of peace and joy for themselves.

  8. […] The wife’s submission is first for the sake of her husband. It helps her husband’s work and his witness. Woman was created and given the qualities she has to be his helper. She is his help mate comparable to him according to Genesis 2. As a partner she fulfills her man, gives him loving companionship, and is his faithful assistant throughout life. Perhaps her greatest assistance role is in bearing his children and rearing them in the home. This wonderful act of help passes on the faith to the next generation, and passes down the man’s name as well. There are few more powerful things in the world to do than bear and raise children, despite the absurd claims of feminism which ridicule it. A wife also helps her man by keeping his home a peaceful, lovely, and welcoming place. She fills it with her love, her beauty, keeps it clean, and prepares good healthy food for the family. Apart from these most obvious forms of assistance, a wife assists her husband in countless ways either one of them might choose, such as playing a role in his ministry, taking care of finances, or spending part time in a home business. My wife assists me in too many ways to count, and her value is beyond any salary in the world. I treasure and love all that she does. It is productive and practical, and it makes me amazingly happy. […]

  9. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

    You really do illustrate here just how beautiful a marriage is when, you, the husband are leading your home in a godly manner and daily are showing your wife how much you love her and appreciate her godliness and she respects you and she loves to serve you well. And if she disobeys you correct her over your knee and then everything is back to peace & harmony in your home. I wish all homes had a husband that came alongside his wife like you do Aron, their would be fewer divorces in our Country if husbands just wouldn’t be afraid to spank us wives. Wives need know their place in the home. Me for 1 never want to wear the pants, I enjoy being the keeper of my home and keeping my home clean and I want my husband to enjoy coming home to me everyday. Am I perfect? No Sir, I am not, I get a lecture from him sometimes when I raise my voice at him, and I have come pretty darn close of him putting me over his knee, but he hasn’t in a long time. He does say though, you need to watch your tone with me, and I just say, “Yes Sir”. But, down deep within my soul I want him to give me what I deserve, a spanking I get anxious and so frustrated I think it would help me so much to be able to have that peace. Still praying for that in our home. Please keep writing on what a good Marriage looks like because alot of people want a good marriage but don’t want to do what it takes to have 1.

    1. Yes. Thank you. I wish more people knew how good it is, and how helpful spanking can be in marriage. If they saw it in light of rich, loving relationship, and dropped some societal assumptions, I believe it would be much easier to see. It puts a lot of conflict to rest. IT would stave off much divorce. God’s order of headship and submission is something we are literally designed for. That’s why you are able to desire to receive it and be fulfilled by it. Happy to know you are seeing some rewards already. Bless you.

  10. young submissive Avatar
    young submissive

    Hi. Your posts are extremely helpful and interesting. I want to know a few things.
    1. What’s the ideal age for a woman tobe married?
    2. Can adult daughters be spanked?
    3. What kind of clothes should wives wear?

    1. Dear young submissive lady, Thank you for visiting my site. Those are excellent questions. I’ll do my best to answer them from the Word of God.

      1. While there is no exact age we need to be married by, it is better that women marry younger. I’d say late teens is good — she’s mostly developed as a woman by then– but definitely not later than the early twenties. A woman should be planning for her role in the home and nurturing children, so she does not need as much advanced education as a man. Moreover, the younger years are the best years to be bearing children, and starting early allows us to have families full of children, unlike most today.

      2. I don’t do much writing on spanking children However, I see nothing wrong if a daughter living at home is spanked until adulthood. She needs to follow the rules of the home, and punishment can still be helpful for her. It will also prepare her to understand she will be corrected by her husband when she gets married. Spankings are not only for children.

      3. Biblicaly speaking, a woman’s clothing should be modest and plain. That means it should cover most of the flesh, not be tight and revealing, and not be flashy, trying to draw attention to the one wearing it. Her clothing should also be distinctly feminine, since the Bible teaches that men and women should not wear clothing of the opposite sex. In this culture, that primarily means she should wear skirts and dresses. In church or worship at home, she should have her head covered with a simple covering on top. This has traditionally been a veil or sometimes a bonnet.

      I hope that is a sufficient answer. Like in other areas, some of these points are objective and need to be followed, and other points are a bit subjective, and the line can shift within reason. Please let me know if you have any other questions.


  11. young submissive Avatar
    young submissive

    Hi. Thank you for answering my questions. I’ll turn 19 in May and my parents are urging me to find someone to marry. I want to have a clearer idea of a traditional marriage. I know some of the things from my parents, but there are many more questions in my mind.
    1. What’s the ideal age gap between a man and his wife?
    2. Can a wife go out to work after marriage?
    3. Is a woman’s virginity very important?
    4. Can a wife say no to her husband in bed if she’s notin themood for sexual intercourse?
    5. Should discipline be initiated on the wedding night?
    I’d be grateful to hear your answers.

    1. Hello Young submissive lady, That’s wonderful that you are looking to marry soon. I’m glad you are not putting it off as so many do today. The family and children are a blessing to the whole world. Marriage is a work we do for the glory of God.

      Those are very good questions, and quite important. Let me do my best to answer:

      1. There is no exact age gap to aim for. However, it usually is better for the man to be older. That is both because a younger woman can start having children earlier, and also because it may take a man more years of schooling to plan for his future. Also, men tend to mature more slowly than women, so often an older man is going to be a more fulfilling husband and father. However, I think it can become a problem if the age gap is large enough to approach a whole generation. It’s not wrong, but in cases like these, the man will be in an entire different stage of life, and may pass away while the wife still has many years. I don’t see a problem with ten or more years older, but I think approaching a generation does present difficulties.

      2. A wife’s work is in the home; in helping her husband, being a homemaker, nurturing and teaching children. That’s what a young woman should plan for. The only two times this subject is taught about in the entire Bible, it teaches the wife should be a homemaker. (Titus 2, 1 Timothy 5). Her work in the home is valuable, and beyond price. It blesses every future generation. It is a full-time job.

      It may be possible to do some part-time work outside the home before the first child comes along, but after having children, doing so would neglect your duties. Home is a deep and varied workplace, and may include activities that earn money, such as selling homemade wares, or writing a book, but don’t count on making much money that way. Nearly all Christian women in our culture knew this for hundreds of years, and it has been feminism, and materialism, that changed that attitude. Be a strong and godly woman, and care for the home.

      3. A woman’s virginity is important because it is a sign of her purity. God calls her to be pure. Her body is something she should only give to her husband, and she must wait until marriage to do this. Then she gives her the git of her body, and her womb, which will bear his children. However, for the many women who have caved in to immorality, and lost their virginity, it will not prevent you from marriage, or even from finding a godly husband. If you have lost it, you commit from then on to being pure, modest, and chaste until marriage.

      4. Neither husband nor wife denies other sexual intercourse. In marriage, we become one flesh, and our body no longer belongs to us. It belongs to our spouse. Husband and wife can enjoy each other freely, and our body is not ours to withhold. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 teaches this explicitly. Sexual intimacy in marriage is a responsibility to fulfill. Moreover, a woman should not say no to her husband because she submits to him, and the principle of love would likewise lead us to share our affection with our spouse and not deny them. To reject sexual affection in marriage is wrong. That’s true for the man also, even though he’s the one in charge. He needs to show affection to his wife. She justly deserves it.

      5. There is no need to initiate discipline on the marriage night. However, it can be done if a husband sees fit. In my marriage, I simply waited until my wife had done something to earn discipline, and then I spanked her. She knew she would be spanked going into marriage, and I saw no reason to practice on the wedding night. Making love is good enough.

      However, there are some who use spanking simply for training, so they might see a reason to initiate spanking early in the marriage. This is simply to get a wife used to being spanked, and used to being submissive. I can see its use in the case that a wife has trouble with submission, or simply to introduce her to it. I have several articles about using spanking as training, and I think it’s fine, as long as it’s not as severe as a punishment, and is not done continually.

      I hope that offers some guidance and insight for you, submissive wife. Please let us know how the search for a godly husband progresses.

      I’m happy to hear any other questions as well. You can also write me at my e-mail below or on the contact page.


  12. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

    That was good in- sight, Aron great advice you gave to her and as alway’s you are generally on point! I am proud that she is seeking advice at 19 on how to be a godly wife, I wish her the best in finding a good, responsible godly husband and 1 that won’t shy away from disciplining her when she has earned it.
    Blessings Aron

    1. Yes, it’s great to see women looking for a husband at 19. We want her to find a man who is a godly responsible leader, and as you say, not shy about using discipline. Bless you.

  13. young submissive Avatar
    young submissive

    Hi, Thanks a lot. Your answers are very insightful and thought-provoking. Well, I’m still a virgin and hope to meet a Godly man soon. I do have a lot more questions.
    1. is 16 too young for a girl to get married? Is it even legal? I’m asking because a friend from youth group who’s 16 is planning to get married in 3 months to someone who’s 25.
    2. If for some reason the husband becomes violent towards his wife, can she ask for divorce?
    3. Can parents introduce their daughter to someone they think is suitable for her and leave the decision to the couple?
    4. Can contraception be used in marriage to space out children?
    5. What about a woman’s financial independence?
    I look forward to hearing your answers.
    My father slapped my mother in her face a couple of times, but my mother says it’s not abuse. Otherwise, he spanks her and all of us. I’m the oldest of 3 sisters and 1 brother.

    1. That’s wonderful you have kept yourself pure for marriage. That is pleasing to God, and is the kind of witness to the Lord Jesus that the world should see. Impurity and immorality have been destructive and deadly to our communities. There is peace and life in purity, and it will help your future marriage be a godly one.

      Let’s look at your further questions:

      1. As long as it is safely within adolescence, I don’t think we can say a certain age is “too young.” Pre-adolescence is too young, as it violates natural law, and involves children who are under-developed. By mid-to-late adolescence we are mostly developed physically, and our brain is mostly developed as well, even though it continues into our early thirties. These days even couples who marry young wait until after high school, simply because it seems wiser and more practical that way. But there is nothing inherently wrong with marrying at 16. As far as the legality, you’d need to check. I think it varies state by state.

      2. Husband and wife according to Scripture are bound in marriage for life. (Mark 10:2-12, Matthew 19:3-12, Luke 16:18, 1 Corinthians 7:39, Romans 7:1-3) They should not divorce, or separate, but if this ever happens, they need to remain single or be reconciled with their spouse. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11) If a husband or wife is violent in a truly dangerous way — and remember this culture calls nearly everything “abuse” including spanking — then it may be necessary to separate either short term or long term. However, there is no real reason for a divorce, and the New Testament teaches that to take another spouse is adultery. Everyone marries a sinner. If your spouse’s sin is violence and crime, you are united to that kind of sinner for life. However, for personal safety, you may separate. If they sincerely change, reconciliation is the goal. If not, then celibacy.

      3. I see nothing wrong with parents finding a good mate for their child. It was done for many centuries, and is still done in parts of the world today. Often, parents can see with a more objective view, while children may be too moved by emotion, and personal desire. However, that is not always the case. There is no rule as to how to do things, but I think parents finding a mate for their child, but later allowing their child to make the final decision, is a good way to do it.

      4. I do not believe married couples should use contraception. This was also the view of the early Church from the earliest documented time in Church history. We see it forbidden in the 1st Century Didache, and in many sources shortly after it. The Catholic Church still prohibits contraception, and you will find the occasional Fundamental who is against it as well.

      It was not until the 20th century that churches officially began permitting contraception, and its results on many levels have been terrible. I could write many pages on this subject, but I’d urge you to read the good literature on it. The Catholic Church stood with 2,000 years of teaching with the document Humanae Vitae in 1968, showing integrity where most other Christians had compromised their teaching. In brief, some of the arguments against it are:

      –The use of potions (pharmakeia) is prohibited clearly in the New Testament. This is usually translated as “sorcery” but the literal meaning is different. It does not say specifically which potions are illicit, but contraception, along with drugs that get you high, were known in that day, and were never permitted by the early Church. The 1st Century Didache uses the EXACT SAME word to prohibit potions, right alongside prohibiting abortion and infanticide. Nearly everyone agrees in that instance it refers to contraception, because it fits the context. You can hear preachers today using the prohibition against pharmakeia to show that getting high on drugs is wrong, but it equally would show that using contraception is wrong.

      –the ill effects have been powerful and came on quick after its widespread use — much more fornication, much more divorce and adultery, out of wedlock births, and even a powerful link to abortion

      –contraception is against natural law, truly on multiple levels, at the minimum the chemical kind medicates a healthy woman, treating fertility like a disease, when fertility is really a sign of health, and a part of our body’s natural workings, to say nothing of the ill health effects it has on women

      –it has destroyed the future for the church, in wiping out our children before they are born, a madman who wished to murder Christians would be jealous, since contraception has done more to destroy the future of our faith than a nuclear bomb in the Bible belt would, this is wicked

      –the Bible always treats children as a blessing, and it encourages having many children, children bring the faith and bring virtue to future generations, while barrenness is viewed as a curse, contracepting Christians turn this truly upside down

      –some of the most popular forms of contraception — the pill, the patch, IUDs — are partly or completely abortifacient in nature. They do not only prevent the fertilization of the egg, they make it difficult or impossible for the egg to grow in the womb, so that the child dies in the early stages of life, Christians using abortifacients are involved in either negligent homicide or, depending their knowledge, something much worse

      There is no law that says you need to “space out” children. The two-year rule is mere advice. You can have children more closely spaced if you wish. There may be some greater need to space children for serious health concerns, but there is always NFP or abstinence. Many Christians also just use non-procreative sex, though the official historical Church teaching has been against that as well. Please research this subject fully. We need our children and our future.

      5. A wife is not “independent” but is one flesh with her husband. She is united with him in many things, and to the deepest level. They are not two but one. The idea of “financial independence” comes from a primarily feminist and materialist view of the world. A wife does not need financial independence more than she needs other kinds of it. Her husband is her means of support. It’s always possible she may have money from her family, or may earn something from a home business, but it’s not her aim to be independent. Even money that she has joins the family pool, and the husband has headship over that pool of money. She seeks unity with her husband, and not independence.

      As far as smacking in the face, I think it’s best to be avoided. I don’t see it as inherently abusive, but it certainly could become that way. Some of the problems I see with it are the fact that the face and head are very sensitive, and can easily be damaged. It is also a very personal area, that reflects a person’s dignity and soul. Furthermore, smacks in the face or often in-the-moment responses, and unless it is truly necessary to do, it’s best that correction be done with a bit of thought and self-control. Simply lashing out in the moment isn’t the goal of discipline. I do see that a wife who were truly out of control, and needed to be immediately reigned in, might benefit from a smack in the face. However, I think a marriage rightly run will not run into that kind of need, so it’s best to be avoided.

      I don’t label men who do this as abusers, since there may be a real need, but I encourage them to manage discipline according to a methodical, and planned correction. A wife should understand her wrong. She should have it explained to her, and have a chance to express her regret and her desire to do better. Punishment is best given on the bare bottom, in a self-controlled way. It should hurt, but not be done in anger. It sounds like your father generally knows this.

      You sound like a very blessed family. I hope this helps you with your questions, and provides you with some new things to think about.

      Many blessings. Happy Easter.


  14. young submissive Avatar
    young submissive

    Hi Aron. Thanks so much for taking the time and trouble to respond to all my questions. Your answers are very thorough. my mother works as a teacher part-time after my brother, the youngest child, turned 10. My dad has informed me and my sisters it’s about time we found a mate. I’ll be 19 in May. My middle sister is nearly 18 and the youngest just turned 16. My father is quite loving, but very strict as well. He has slapped my mother in the face only a couple of times. I have a few more questions.
    1. What kind of qualities should one look for in a mate?
    2. Should discipline be discussed or is it a husband’s right and duty?
    3. Is it better to home-school the children? (We went to public schools.)

    1. Hello young submissive lady, It’s my honor to be able to help you. Many women look for a mate extremely late these days, sometimes never finding one. It is encouraging that you are looking while still young.

      1. A future husband should be a sincere Christian and someone who is preparing to marry in the near future. He should be responsible, and virtuous. I wouldn’t set too high standards, or expect perfection, simply a godly man who will love and lead you, and provide for the home.

      2. I believe that discipline is a husband’s right. However, since most people in this culture do not expect spanking to come along with marriage, it is best to speak about discipline before marriage. It is best to come to a basic mutual agreement that discipline will be used, and at least have some idea what form it will take. That way there are no surprises.

      3. I believe that homeschool is the best education there is. That is both because the learning is focused on God, and because the environment is a godly and virtuous one. God commands we train children up in faith and virtue. Therefore, sending children to secular education is in conflict with our faith. It is a humanist education, teaches much that is evil, and provides an environment that is worldly and sinful. Some parents do use Christian academies, but I believe most of them are weak as far as bring thoroughly Christian. The home is best.

      I hope the Lord provides you all men of God to marry. We need more good families and children raised up in Christ.

  15. young submissive Avatar
    young submissive

    Hi Aron, Thanks for all your answers. They are very insightful. i just can’t agree with you on one thing. When you say a woman can’t leave a husband who’s violent and abusive towards her and / or the children. Other than that, i do see truth in your words. My youngest sister, the one who’s 16, is a feminist. She has openly stated that she’ll marry if she feels like it. She wishes to be a criminal lawyer. My dad has tried talking, lecturing and whipping some sense into her, but she’s resolute. i don’t know if she’s right or wrong in her thoughts. Yesterday, my other sister and i were spanked and warned not to have any such ideas and focus on finding a suitable mate at the earliest. My parents don’t know how to deal with my sister.
    I want a man who’s strong in faith and character. He should also be a strict disciplinarian like my father.

    1. Glad to hear back from you. I sincerely hope your sister changes her perspective. I believe it is more a matter of faith than anything else. Our heart needs to be hungry and thirsty for the things of God. Pray for her.

      By the way, I did not specifically say that a wife could never leave if a man was truly dangerous. She could if it were necessary. I said that divorce and taking a new husband is prohibited by Scripture. I would study that subject. I am not merely putting out my perspective, but the lifelong nature of marriage is truth from God.

      Be blessed.

      1. Wow this young lady is asking the right questions for sure. Hope she finds a godly man soon.

  16. Better Lady Avatar
    Better Lady

    This is a wonderful description of what a marriage should be, especially what the husband needs to bring to the marriage. Much of the website focuses on the wife’s submission and punishment for disobedience but if she is led properly and given the emotional support that she needs, I think the spankings and discipline become much less frequent and less necessary. I do agree that spanking, lecturing and reflection are a necessity to provide relief from guilt and correct bad habits and behaviors but marriage is so much more and the man’s role is critical.

    1. Thank you. One thing I’ve been very blessed with as far as this blog, is to see how much the topic of discipline branches out to the whole of marriage. The focus here may be spanking, but it’s impossible to discuss it without getting into what else men need to do, and what else women need to do. I’m also grateful for that, since other things in marriage are valuable to discuss, and speaking only of spanking would more easily get tiresome.

      I definitely have a passion to see men take hold of their leadership role, including the care, instruction, and spiritual guidance they need to provide. I’ve heard from some men who’ve started doing that because of this site, and that is why it exists.

      Have a very happy Christmas.

    2. I wholeheartedly agree with you. Punishment is such a small part of a committed Christian Marriage. Love, Discipleship, Encouragement, affection, graceful submission to Leadership and so much prayer together through the dark valleys and high mountain peaks in our relationship makes a Marriage great. It works for us because God is centre and My Husband is the Head of the house.

  17. Avatar

    Well the bible mentions adultery as grounds for divorce right?
    However in an intimate relationship based on Good Godly obedience and Morals where the wife is peaceful and content with her life, and the Happy Husband who shows up affection verbally and physically to his woman everyday would lead me to think that such an ugly thing like Divorce would not even cross our minds. My HoH is so good to me and we’ve been together since age 14. He’s led me in biblical and devotional prayers, he’s worked straight out of university in a great job to provide a home that I take gracious pride in keeping clean and tidy so when he returns home from a stressful day at work, I’m there with his slippers and favorite drink, ready to listen to him tell me about his day. We watch TV together when the girls are settled in bed. Daddy reads from the bible to them and I prepare supper for the two of us downstairs. Our evenings are intimate and precious. I massage his feet, shoulders, hands and snuggle into him to watch whatever he has chosen on the TV for us. It’s really a happy life, despite a few monthly paddle sessions and trips over the knee. I’m always reminded what a beautiful obedient treasure I am. He kisses my tears and when I’m good we eat ice cream.
    I have never had my mouth washed with soap or been made to stand nude Infront of other men Hubby knows nor am I made to bathe with my children or anyone for that matter besides My HoH. We have the same bed time and it works for us unless I fall asleep on the couch in which my Man takes me to bed. He’s amazing. I’m very blessed

    1. That’s an excellent example of marriage. Thank you Fran. You sound like you have a truly committed husband. Marriage can be peace and bliss when we do it the way God teaches us to, but even when it’s not, we keep doing our job, and we willingly forgive our spouse. Marriage, happy or unhappy, is until death.

      The Bible does not specifically mention adultery regarding divorce, but the word used is for fornication. This is a more likely understanding of the exception in Matthew, being for fornication during the betrothal period or discovered fornication on the wedding night. The same passages ends with teaching that it is adultery to marry she who is divorced, and at least four other passages teach that to remarry is adultery. It also teaches twice that a marriage is ended by death, and that we may take another spouse only after our partner dies. Adultery is grounds for forgiveness, not divorce. But if one does divorce, the Bible instructs to either remain single or reconcile.

      This is one of several good books online about the subject. Have You Not Read?, by Casey Whitaker:

      Thank you. Be blessed.

  18. rickmorganhoh Avatar

    Hi Aron,
    I’ve been reading many of your posts and like the rest of them I really appreciate this one. While my household isn’t exactly like yours in some ways, It’s close and I appreciate hearing how you lead your home. I have a question I’ve been looking for somewhere to ask it and this seems to be a place where people are asking a lot of questions. As you know, I’m in the middle of working with Margret to I help her become more submissive and to deal with her bad attitude and sassy mouth. I was wondering if you have a bedtime for your wife or if you ever have. I used a bedtime when we were 1st married during her training. I was always taught that it was a great way to show the hierarchy in your family and that it sends a strong message to a wife that you are in charge. You choose her bedtime, you put her to bed and then you stay up for at least a short time after. After her initial training I let the bedtime go. We typically end up going to bed at the same time but I never let her stay up after me. When I’m ready she has to go to bed. Since I’m having difficulties with her I’m thinking about starting a bedtime again. I have noticed some other husbands mention bed times in their responses and I’m wondering what your thoughts are on this.

    1. Hello Rick, I’m glad you appreciate this article. I hope the site continues to be a blessing to you. I don’t have much to add regarding bedtimes. If you find they work for your wife, by all means use them. I’ve never set a bedtime. Most of the time we go to bed together, but occasionally she has work she needs to do, which keeps her up a bit later. If I find she’s staying up too late, I will tell her she needs to turn in, and just get it done later. This doesn’t happen very often though.

      Take care.

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