You will find that the man’s leadership of his wife parallels the leadership that the Lord Jesus practices toward His people. This is one of the ways marriage manifests the divine, just as it does in expressing His love and His sacrifice. Marriage is in abundant ways a picture of the Savior. We see that the man carries authority, he protects his special chosen one, comforts her, commands her, and keeps her from evil.
1: He Has Authority Like Christ, the man is the rightful ruler. Christ has all authority in heaven and on earth, and is the head of the Church. The man bears authority as well, which gives him the right to rule, to administer justice, and he does this as a regular part of his role for the good of his wife and home. He is head over all his domain. The woman submits to her husband as the Church — and every believer — submits to Christ, that is in obedience as to our King. We do it as part of working toward the same cause — which is the good of the Gospel and holiness.
2. He Chooses her to himself Like Christ, the man chooses a single woman to love — just as Christ has only ONE Church, so a man has only one wife. Just as Christ separates His special people from the world to bring her to Him, the man takes his wife from the world, from her family and friends, from what is ordinary and common, and takes her to his home and under his wing. He gives her a special place in his heart and a godly home in the world. He delivers her from the sea and the storm of destruction. As the Christ delights in His Bride, his wife is his singular delight for the rest of his life.
3. He Washes her Pure Just as Christ washes the Church in the Word of God, cleansing her continually, the head of the home — as instructed in Ephesians 5 — washes his wife also in the Word, in godly teachings, in prayer, in daily devotions to God. He leads her in growing in her holiness and virtue as a woman and child of the King. He leads her to grow in virtue and modesty, and to follow the godly calling for the wife in Scripture. His own washing by the Holy Spirit pours over her, and she can also see by his living for the spirit that she can easily follow him in the spirit as well.
4. He Protects Her Just as Christ protects His people from evil, so the man protects his wife. This can be as simple as giving her a safe place to live, or making sure that he takes care of the heavy work and dangerous work of the household. It could mean he protects the family from a dangerous intruder. It also involves spiritual protection, as the husband makes sure his wife is not influenced by false teachings or by occult influences, which especially endanger women. He protects her from the flood of the world, the trends, the sensuality, the ugly language, and all the filth. He gives her a place good and pure.
5. He Comforts Her As Christ provides peace and comfort to His Church, the man provides the same for his wife. Through giving her a home, making sure she has all that she needs he manifests the savior in His greater provision of is. He also provides his wife emotional comfort and stability, through the assurance of his love and his thoughtful attention to her. He seeks to calm her fears. She knows he is trustworthy and will always be there for her. He provides her needs, and some of her wants, which bring her much delight.
6. He Commands Her The man like Christ commands his beloved. He is the head of the home as Christ is the head of the ark we call the Church. A man commands his wife in giving her work to do in the home and providing oversight of her own projects. The man makes rules and standards in the home that she obeys. He makes sure the home upholds spiritual and ethical purity, and is a place of safety and of growth. When he desires or needs her help, he calls on her and she responds with her loving, and heartfelt obedience.
7. He Corrects Her The man corrects his wife and chastises her when she needs such guidance. Like the Lord, who chastises His people as a loving father does, and who even promises the saints chastisement upon His return, the man has authority to discipline his errant wife. The husband can punish her for her misdeeds; both to teach her the seriousness of her wrong, and her need to practice obedience. Correction can be as simple as verbal instruction, or as severe as a spanking, which will burn for a while, but will not leave her injured. It is loving and for her long-term good.
Even a husband who does not embrace the practice I teach here, of wife spanking, should be sure that he has a discipline system in place. He will find he needs to use it. Not having a discipline system allows things to fall into disorder, allows the husband to be openly disrespected, and if neglected too long, allows his wife to simply take charge. This satanically reverses the order of marriage, which expresses a picture of man placing himself above God. Husbands must correct their wives.
It’s not really a question of if you will need to use discipline, but of when you will need to use it. Even a godly woman, who is generally submissive, can drift into ignoring her man’s words, or being neglectful of her duties. She may forget to show respect for her man if he does not really command it. I say especially to those men who are skeptical of spanking their wives, that at the minimum they better have another effective discipline system in place. It needs to work. I believe spanking is significantly more effective than other methods, but you do not have to agree.
Your life is in imitation of Christ, dear brothers. In marriage, and in discipline, you are united with Him. Your praise of your wife, and your correction of your wife, both come from the same place of love — the divine treasure of our Lord. Make all you do an expression of the One who loves and saves us, and who has all authority to rule in heaven and on earth.
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