Reinforcing Authority During Discipline

Most husbands make sure that a discipline session reinforces their authority, and their wife’s submission in more ways that just the lecture and spanking. Each husband may have his own practices, or rituals, but nearly all make sure that reinforcement besides the spanking is there. The way he speaks to her, the way she needs to respond, her position, and more, all matter in making the discipline session more than just a spanking punishment for her infraction, but a trip to deeper submission, and a way to return to her rightful place. These practices create the environment for the spanking itself.

Most wives will need to address their husbands with a sign of his higher authority, or strength, with “sir” probably being the most common. Others will choose “master” or “daddy” but either way the language communicates his headship over her, and her own subordination. She has to address her husband by a term of authority, and answer questions with the same term. This is a constant reminder to her. I have my wife use “sir” during discipline because I like it, and also because the term “master” carries such connotations as inhuman forms of slavery, and the disordered bdsm world. In principle, we could choose to use terms like this daily, but it would seem awkward in this culture, and not important enough to be worth standing out in such a glaring way. So the average husband keeps those terms for a time of discipline. In a better world, I believe it would be good to use them normally though, and I hope to see that better world soon.

Some of the discipline session may also be spend in a submissive position, that of kneeling before her lord. I will regularly have my wife kneel before the bed to wait for me before discipline, and also deliver part of my lecture to her while she kneels before me. Needing to lower herself physically reemphasizes her need to lower herself positionally below her man, and also lower herself in accepting discipline, which itself requires true humility. She needs to look up to see her man, and sees his figure over her, and his instructions come from above.

The nudity of the disciplined wife also helps establish her subjection to her man. She is nearly always partly, or completely undressed. She needs to experience that physical vulnerability that comes with nakedness, a vulnerability common both when her man delivers punishment, and also when he takes her in bed. It establishes her complete belonging to her man as well. She has nothing to hide her body from his gaze and correction, whereas he is fully dressed, examining her and correcting her. She belongs to him. He will do as he pleases.

The act of participation in her punishment is one that performs a similar function. It is normal to have a wife aid the husband in his correction of her, by bringing him the instrument, for example, or by holding it for a while. This both show she assents to his authority and her correction, and at the same time time lets her think about the consequences for her actions that are coming. I will sometimes have my wife hold the paddle while I lecture her, and then have her hand it to me immediately before putting herself over my knee or over the end of the bed. Many husbands have rituals like this and see how it strengthens the character of the punishment session.

The use of corner time in many spanking sessions also plays a role in establishing his authority and her subjection. True, corner time accomplishes other things, such as giving her time to think about her correction, or to calm down after a difficult punishment, but it also helps place her back into her role of submission to him, in its humbling nature, and the man’s control of it. This is especially true when it is after the spanking, as standing facing the corner will be showing to her man her bright red, and aching backside. She is standing and thinking about her wrong, while she is also showing her bottom to him, which if anything is a sign of shame, and of being vanquished.

These are some extremely common forms of emphasizing authority, and reestablishing it. You will find there are others. I have heard of couples which use special articles of clothing for discipline, though I believe this is more common in bdsm. It is an outfit that they immediately come to connect with correction, and this strong connection helps their minds connect with it as well. Other men make sure to give discipline in a somewhat different tone of voice, choosing a more serious, or commanding tone for it. I don’t think I could do this even if I wanted to, though I do try to make sure to emphasize with my voice the seriousness of the wrong, as well as my disappointment. My speaking is generally measured and calm. The connection to a tone of voice, especially when made repeatedly, can let a woman know this is no time to mess around. He is not playing. She needs to respond as to immediate and important commands. She knows from his tone she is being corrected, and this helps her respond as such.

After the discipline, some husbands have their ladies perform oral sex on them to show their thanks and to show that they are back to being submissive, and serving him well. A woman can powerfully experience her submission this way, and communicate it to her man. It allows her to show him that she is stepping back fully into her lower place and will work hard for his desire. It may be an act that some women dream of doing, and want to do for their man after being spanked, or one that others find unpleasant, or hard on their pride. It still functions after discipline as a reestablishment of the marriage order. It brings things to a peaceful end in a way they both will remember.

These are only some of the commonest forms of reinforcement you will see in spanking marriages. I believe using rituals such as kneeling, using terms of honor, and having the wife bare will help you in giving and receiving the lesson during punishment. They are not absolutely necessary, but do much to create the right environment, and set the tone to strengthen the authority and submission that exists. Couples certainly develop their own unique rituals as well. Feel free to use whatever has meaning to you. I will post later on how love is also reinforced during what is otherwise a harsh period of time. Authority and discipline not only coexist with love, but are rooted thoroughly in it.


14 responses to “Reinforcing Authority During Discipline”

  1. […] from the waist down or entirely bare, depending on what I have instructed her, and waits for me on her knees or in the corner. When we begin, she is always undressed and on her knees before her man. This is […]

  2. […] told her before to prepare. I gave her a few minutes, and then came up to join her, finding her kneeling before our bed, mostly undressed. I sat down before her and made sure she looked me in the eye while […]

  3. […] of authority. Her needing to be bare. I’ve written on various ways that sessions commonly emphasize the authority that obviously go along with a spanking. However, spankings also include some mercy in their […]

  4. […] caused her bad behavior is being cracked and prepared to be broken. She knows she’s totally subject to her man, even before the spanking […]

  5. […] and points she saw for improvement. Like other discipline sessions, she went through the review on her knees and undressed, and addressed me as sir. We ended the sessions with her commitment to good behavior […]

  6. […] things that make any spanking. It is humbling. It hurts. It strips away all protection as she is kneeling and bare. You can also give a hard spanking the first time, but don’t go to the highest end of the […]

  7. […] mindset of correction. Like other qualities or rituals of your discipline system, it may help you reinforce your roles and communicate what you need. It comes down to you, as the head of the home, to […]

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  9. Deserving Avatar

    You may have already posted it but I would love to read the post about how love is reinforced with wife spanking.

    I never thought about it that way- but this really hit me. I agree whole -heartedly! It’s hard to imagine when my husband is actually spanking me that our love is being reinforced, but when I reflect it’s so true. My husband is taking the time to correct me and help me see my infraction. He is leading me to my place with love. I am receiving his love when this happens. Sometimes I forget even after all of these years of marriage that is the love that takes us there- not just the needed correction. It is not a mere act of spanking, It is the love he has for me that allows me to accept his headship.

    I know some marriages have different rituals and requirements when it comes to wife spanking- but I would add that in my experience love is also reinforced because of my naked body being exposed to him. In our marriage I am required to be nude for my spanking sessions, and although difficult at the beginning, I know it is a way for my husband to see me in my natural state so he may correct me more fully. I still find myself so ashamed- but I don’t think it’s the shame he’s focused on. It’s his love for me. By placing me in this submissive state with nothing between us, he is reinforcing his love for me. A wife’s naked body is a gift from God, and it the husbands right to have it when he chooses. But I feel like that during a spanking session it reinforces my husbands love for me. He is saying, I spank you because I love you, I see your naked body because I love you.

    In addition, the thank you ritual reinforces love between man and wife. I think there are some that would say it’s just about submitting and gratitude for the husband. But when I read that part of your post, I had a new clarity. It is those things- but it’s also to reinforce love. By allowing me to be in this state and perform this special act that should exist only in marriage, my marriage is strengthened in love.

    Spanking reinforces so many things. Thank you for reminding us why marriage needs it and how important it is for both man and wife.

    If that post about how spanking reinforces love in a marriage is somewhere specific, let me know when time permits. I enjoy your perspective. Take good care

    1. Thank you. That is good idea for an article, and I’ll make a note of it. By correcting and disciplining his wife, a husband is putting his love into practice. He is watching out for her. He is protecting her from harm. It is appropriate also that he sees and touches her body, with which he is so intimate in their marriage.

      I do have this one article on expressing love during the discipline session, but that’s a slightly different topic:

      This one also speaks of the loving purpose of discipline:


  10. Hi Aron,
    I think a wife’s bowing down to kiss her husband’s feet either during discipline or following it is also a way to reinforce his headship and her total submission to him.
    I recall the penitent woman in the Bible who bowed down to clean and kiss the Lord’s feet. It’s a simple but powerful act that a wife could perform daily upon her husband’s arrival home or whenever he requires it to remind her of her place below him.

    1. It would be a meaningful reminder, certainly. I know we’ve discussed other cultures here, and in parts of the world some women still express reverence for their husband by prostrating themselves before him, or kissing his feet. That is totally apart from discipline. As a part of discipline it could also communicate penitence, and the full devotion she should have to following her husband. Thank you for the suggestion.

      1. This is a thing the man might do for his wife as well—leadership like Christ and all that.

        Humility always tends to place things back in order; while a woman kneeling before her husband and kissing his feet might feel deeply her place beneath him, she should feel that no less if her lord—who has perhaps just disciplined her—kneels before her to honor her, and kisses or washes her feet.

        I imagine the disciples experienced Christ’s washing of their feet as humbling.

        “And how does this happen to me, that…my Lord should come to me?”

        So to speak.

        Merry Christmas!


        1. aronhusband Avatar

          That’s a great way to put it. Merry Christmas!

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