I’m Counting on You!

It’s almost a stereotype in spanking to imagine the person being spanked counting out the strokes, one at a time. Perhaps repeating — I will not [fill in the blank] ever again, sir. This fits in with the notion that every crime receives a certain number of strokes, the unfortunate receiver would find out the quantity, and have to count them. In marriages that use discipline, the use of strokes varies greatly. Some husbands assign a number for the crime, while others just spank until they reach the desired result.

I am not one to decide on an exact number of strikes when I spank. In fact, I never count and generally have only a vague idea of how many I have given. Since I started spanking many years before marriage, it never struck me (pun intended) to keep count. When I am disciplining my wife over my knee, I continue the punishment until it achieves a few desired goals. Usually achieving those goals involves many strokes, but the number doesn’t matter to me.

I am looking at a few things. Firstly, has the punishment been long and hard enough to fit the infraction, and its seriousness? Direct disobedience, for example, will be longer and harder than others. Mere negligence would usually not earn as severe a spanking Also, do I see in her that she is sorry for her deed, and contrite before her husband? Do I see that she is committed to good future behavior and knows she has to do that? These elements will help determine how long it lasts.

When I spank, I usually have a number of points to lecture her on while she is over my knee. So regardless of number, I will continue the correction until I make those points; spanking her during the pauses in the lecture, or sometimes while I speak. I usually impress on her the seriousness of the misdeed. She hears about the harm it causes. She needs to know it is wrong and she is fully responsible. I impress on her where her attitude failed, and what her attitude needs to be to be in serving her husband. I also go over what I expect to see in the future, and get multiple assurances from her that she will show me better behavior to come. If I think she’s in doubt about what that better behavior needs to be, I will explain it to her clearly. I may have other points as well, which are unique to the situation. So I will spank her until I have covered my verbal correction of her and everything it entails.

I could not put an exact number on the strokes during a spanking I give. I could estimate that they are usually over fifty strokes. The longer and more serious ones could be around a hundred. Some couples would regard that many strokes as high, and others see it as around their average. If you are new to giving or receiving discipline, that might sound quite frightening, but remember these are usually not close to full force. They are hard and will sting, but most are not ferocious. I will save those fiercer strikes when very serious offenses come, but even then they are not great in number.

I can see some value in assigning a number of strokes to a spanking, even though I don’t do it. There are husbands who assign numbers to make sure their wife understands that the punishment fits the crime, and may also have her count strokes to focus her mind on receiving it, and on why she is receiving it. It is also one way to help her engage her mind with the punishment, and not drift off. I am not against that, and maybe I’ll try it one day. I find the few basic principles I’ve mentioned are sufficient, and end up dictating how long, and how many strokes a spanking will be. A wife should be contrite, taking full responsibility for her offense, and be committed to her right behavior and her daily full submission. Those are my sought after goals when I spank. I never have to worry that I lose count of them.


11 responses to “I’m Counting on You!”

  1. […] delivery of pain. For this reason, when I give a belt strapping over the knee, I go for longer and give more strokes. That makes sure it sinks […]

  2. […] force. Naturally, instruments make it easier than trying it with your hands. With some instruments, longer and lighter will bring the same desired results. To hear the people who use birch bundles talk, the […]

  3. […] well. I found that surprising, especially since she had not cried as much as usual, but perhaps the number of strokes, which I’d been sure to pile on, added up to some soreness. I find that appropriate, as she […]

  4. TexCoGrl Avatar

    In our home, my husband has used both methods. He doesn’t really assign a number, but sometimes at the end of the punishment, he will say ok, we are going to do 10 more, and I would like you to count them. This is typically when I am facing a harder spanking than some. Not the hardest, but one that is serious.
    I will tell you, those last 10 are the hardest things to get through. He uses those to really REALLY make sure I am sorry for making the decisions I did to end up having a conversation with him in the basement. He knows my voice, he knows my body language, he knows my cries (I think). He has only spanked me so hard one time I was basically crying so hard I couldn’t talk at all. a paddle brush was broken that day on my bottom in our closet. I was disrespectful to my husbands face, and I told him no about going to talk downstairs (our normal place). He does not typically ever have to take me to a spanking. I KNOW when he says to go I GO. I honestly still do not know what I was thinking. Our kids were not even up for school yet. It was early! I saw The look in his eyes, he calmly calmed over to me took my arm walked me through the bathroom grabbing MY brush of the counter. I started begging at that point, which I typically know not to do and he did the old holding my left arm and spanking my bottom so hard with the right arm. He just started going and he went hard. HARD. I was Balling!! I was hysterical, it’s the hardest spanking to this date for me. He broke a thick wooden paddle brush on my bare butt.

    Those are the kinds of spur of the moment spankings nobody is counting anything. It’s a you have done lost your mind spanking! I will NEVER EVER speak to him that way again. EVER til the day I die.

    It was so early, we went through our after spanking steps, I was Able to shower and get all cleaned up before anyone else was up. We wake up early to have our coffee together outside, we then do a yoga, and do some bible study before the babies wake up. It’s always the most calm part of our day, except that day. He was as calm as a cucumber the whole time, but stronger than I have ever felt.

    So I guess for my husband counting is dependent on why I am there, and how the punishment is going… it’s sure not easy to count I’ll tell everyone that…

    My husband has pretty much always has been the leader, but it was me that found this lifestyle and this is true, while he was at opening weekend I sent Him an email about it. I was so terrified. When he got home he said nothing about it, but not to long later I was STRESS cleaning before hosting Thanksgiving. We were up super early cooking, cleaning, prepping etc…. (we all know how that goes) I raised my voice to him, which sadly at that time in our lives was more often than I’m proud of, and he with not a hesitation took me by small of my back and guided me up to our room, I literally had no idea and by the time I realized It, he was locking the door. I started Crying right away, I knew. I started Like saying no please I change my mind, even though I wrote In the email like 5 times even if I beg, even if I change my mind I’m giving you consent and even told him I give non consensual consent and told him this is what I want, what I need, and I believe It is right for us. He had me over the end of the bed and my panties down and spanking me so hard and So fast with his ginormous Strong hands. That was it. That was the first of many more spankings to come. Just like that. I do NOT raise my voice at my husband anymore, I do Not do a lot of things I used to. I have Set backs, like the time above, but from that spanking we have evolved into a routine where we are so
    Organized I know Exactly what to do when he says basically a command. Counting is one of those things that evolved in at some point over the last years…

    Once you begin, you will begin establishing your own routines.

    And it’s all true. It really really is, our marriage has never been stronger, our intimate life has never been where it is, I have never been so intune with him, and him I. The list goes on. It’s certainly not for everyone, and some days are harder than I ever Thought they could be, but it’s worth it a billion times over. I feel safer in our marriage than ever before. More taken care of, I even Feel like he listens MORE, he hears and uses my ideas MORE…. I think Because he knows he has a way to regain control if he gives me to much! Ha. Before he would push me away a bit, he would disconnect, but that is LOOONG gone.

    The worst thing on earth for me was him disconnecting when I was Basically crying out. Not anymore!! There is ZERO disconnection! There is full connection haha! I respect Him like I never Ever have before, I see him a million times more of a leader, more of a husband who just takes control. I’m a little bit of a wild woman sometimes and just need to be reined in sometimes is all!

    I really Appreciate this blog and grateful to get to read it, and not feel alone or wonder if anyone else is really like us. Thank you. I hope Everyone is safe and doing well.

    1. Great to hear from you. Thank you for sharing your experience, It’s interesting to hear how it effects you, especially in learning from the spanking. I have heard of the practice of counting strokes only at the end of a regular spanking, rather than straight through. I definitely understand how it could be challenging to go through. God bless.

      1. TexCoGrl Avatar

        You know it is. At the end, trying to keep track of anything is hard. I guess If I look at it from y’all’s perspective maybe it’s good? I for Sure have to pay attention so I can say the right number, which in turn makes me have to pay much closer attention to each spank. Sometimes, you can just kinda grit and make it through those last ones, but not when you count em….. so that would be one plus, from your end, not from mine!

        It’s kinda something that happens only sometimes, I’m not sure what makes him decide to do that or not. I have never asked. Maybe I will. It makes me realize I have Never really asked him anything about our discipline methods or routine. It has slowly changed to what we do today over time… I guess He realizes some things work better than others etc… and makes decisions based on that.

        Thank you and I hope your week is a great one.

    2. Heather Avatar

      You had me literally laughing out loud at your non consensual consent email thing and how you begged your husband not to spank you when the spanking arrived. It reminded me of those movies where the scientist guy knows he’s going to turn into a werewolf or monster or something and tells someone, “I’m going to lock myself in this cage tonight and no matter what you see or what I say, DON’T let me out.” Except no matter how strong the warning is, someone always is persuaded to let him out, and the monster eats everyone.
      Glad your husband took your email seriously. It’s a blessing that it only took an email and he jumped right in!
      Praying mine will too. Long ago my husband started spanking me and I resisted once, and he said, “fine, never again.” And hasnt spanked me since. But hopefully my error will be undone.

  5. […] instruments, or the heavier swats will give the most long lasting effects. There are times that a longer, but lighter spanking, can leave her bottom raw for quite some time. It might not be as bright or […]

  6. I do not have to count my spankings. I trust in my husband to determine the correct amount of swats and he has never failed me once! I always end a spanking encounter feeling like I’ve received the perfect amount of Guidance from him! We are both usually so deep in prayer during the spanking sessions that counting would bring our minds away from the Lord.

    1. Great. I’m sure he gives you just what you need. I agree it’s better to be focused on the guidance that is going on than the number of strokes being given.

  7. […] 1 of this topic covers: Counting Strokes, Journaling, Pleasure Denial and Control, Back Door Training, and Safe […]

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