Readers Poll: How Does Being Spanked Affect You

Welcome to our third Reader’s Poll. It is addressed to the ladies, but husbands can answer about how their wife responds. If you have not practiced spanking in marriage, you are still free to add your thoughts below.

Ladies: How does being spanked affect your behavior?

I am careful to behave well in the coming days

I am careful to behave well for the long term

I feel at rest with my husband, and obey him easily


I want to be close to my husband, emotionally and physically

It doesn’t help my behavior at all

It makes me more angry and rebellious


34 responses to “Readers Poll: How Does Being Spanked Affect You”

  1. My wife pretty much would say any of the first four but I think the second is what she would most agree with. When I give my wife a spanking, it is long, hard and very unpleasant. She will try her best never to repeat the behaviour. There are only a handful of issue that my wife has received multiple spankings for and usually a considerable amount of time has passed between the spankings.

    1. Thank you. Yes, being unpleasant is part of how the spanking does its work. It gets through very well to many women.

      1. I’d have to say 1-4. It has been a year since we made the decision to practice spanking as a discipline tool in our marriage. I intially approached my husband about it. He was a little reluctant at first. I’m so proud of him! He has really become invested in this (we both have). I’ve been sharing some of your articles with my husband as well. We both feel as though my attitude has changed and I’ve become a more obedient wife (as well as submissive). We have made tremendous progress (big improvement)! It has made a huge difference in our marriage for sure!! We definitely feel closer to each other. Thank you Aaron for investing your knowledge, time and experience! It has been greatly appreciated!! Be blessed!

        1. You’re welcome, LR. It’s good to hear how much of a difference spanking has made in your marriage! I want more couples to know how good it is. God bless.

  2. Each spanking is different as each situation and day is different. For example I can receive a similar spanking one day to the next but if i am in a different place emotionally, physically, or spiritually it affects me differently. One day I might feel at rest with him and obey easily and the next I might be very careful for a long time. Just as with sex for woman many different factors play into how each spanking affects us. A spanking always helps my behavior in some way even if I don’t know it at the time.

    1. Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m glad you can see how it’s helpful to you.

  3. CoTxGrl83 Avatar

    For me, all of these below are true. I always try to be careful for the long term, because that is for sure my ultimate goal. When I do have to talk to my husband about something I am VERY careful in the coming days. I usually feel very calm because we just dealt with things that made me feel upset. Although, I have before gotten a spanking to close to another and it was so much worse. I did not think i was very sore, but even just a tiny bit makes you so much more sensitive. So the extra fear to be punished on a bottom that is still sore is very real. It’s rare because I believe if a husband punishes with love, even if you do not fully agree with the punishment by the end you feel love, safety, and calmness. (Well I do, I suppose every woman may be different). Thanks

    I am careful to behave well in the coming days

    I am careful to behave well for the long term

    I feel at rest with my husband, and obey him easily

    I want to be close to my husband, emotionally and physically

    1. Thank you for sharing what it’s like for you. It sounds like the spankings help you a lot.

  4. Somewhere between these two 🤣.

    I am careful to behave well in the coming days

    I am careful to behave well for the long term

    I feel at rest with my husband, and obey him easily
    Yes, absolutely

    I want to be close to my husband, emotionally and physically
    Sometimes not immediately but usually by the next day.

    1. Thank you for your answer, CD. A spanking definitely has positive effects in more ways than one.

  5. nicolelinn45 Avatar

    I am careful to behave well in the coming days

    I am careful to behave well for the long term

    I feel at rest with my husband, and obey him easily

    I want to be close to my husband, emotionally and physically

    I agree with another poster saying it depends on my state of mind, emotions……. Typically the above choices are what happens to me in response to my husbands discipline. Frankly I love being in that post punishment state of mind. Very peaceful and everything is as it should be.


  6. I would say a combination of “I am careful to behave well in the coming days” and “I am careful to behave well for the long term.” We are older and I was older when I learned my need to become a respectful and obedient wife, so this is still a challenge for me unfortunately. I think I need to be reminded more often than some other ladies. I would also say that after a spanking I do feel very much at rest with my husband and it is easier for me to obey him. Lastly, I always want to be close to him physically and want to please him however he desires. I know he doesn’t like spanking me so it really is a labor of love for him and I want him to know how much I respect him and how thankful I am for his leadership and discipline.

    1. Thank you for your comment. I can totally relate to everything you’ve said. I’m in the same position. It has definitely been a retraining thing if you will (breaking bad habits and bad behavior patterns). I approached my husband about this a year ago. He was a little reluctant at first. But, we have made tremendous progress so far. It has really made a difference in our marriage! There has been great improvement in my attitude (I’m more respectful and obedient…these and being a more submissive wife are a work on progress). We definitely feel closer to one another as well. Much more peaceful household😊 Be blessed!

  7. Long Time Practitioner Avatar
    Long Time Practitioner

    With my wife I would say the 1st 4 are pretty much correct. She does have a tendency to need more discipline than my 1st wife and did not take a series of warnings this last week. I have been working different shifts and my sleep time has been changed. She was warned about being loud a couple of times and this last Tuesday it came to a head. Next Wednesday morning when I come home from work she is to meet me at the door naked with the strap in her hands…. We will have a good session with it before I take a nap. I am sure it will improve her behavior and she will not be so loud when I am trying to sleep.

    1. talltaurus Avatar

      Can I ask how your session went? Mine has been spending too much. I’m thinking of a naked day for her with a good strapping and a nice oral session at the end.

    2. Kristina Finnegan Avatar
      Kristina Finnegan

      So how has it been going 🤔

    3. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

      You sound alot like my husband!! I wanted discipline and I have asked him if he would start spanking me, at first he wouldn’t do it because he said we were equals in marriage. But, I said, please honey I need it. I want to be more submissive and I want to follow your lead. So now he spanks me often and I got my last good whipping after I woke him up with the vacuum cleaner after he had come off a 12 hour graveyard plus he has to drive an hour and a half to get to work, so its a 3 hr. round trip everyday for him. He is very strict, he tells me 1 time to do something that is it, no 2nd chances with him. I want to be good for him for awhile after my spanking and I try hard not to get another 1 so close to the last one. I feel closer and more submissive to him now. Its really improved our marriage and how my attitude towards him has changed, even our adult kids have noticed how calm I am now, of course I haven’t told them our little secret yet and don’t know that I will.

  8. Kristina Finnegan Avatar
    Kristina Finnegan

    I am getting my husband and I back into this. I as well as he as well as Our Marriage need me to start Obeying and being more submissive and obedient over all in our marriage. We were doing this for a Very long time but got away with it and we Need and want it back and are starting it back up. Oh but my Bottom will have to get use to it again and that’s ok it needs it. I can’t wait to to get back to submitting to my husband and Obeying again like I’m supposed in all ways.

    1. That’s very good news. Thank you for sharing. It can be easy to drift away, considering the time and effort discipline can take. I think you will see the positive change from your renewed effort soon.

  9. Grace Jones Avatar
    Grace Jones

    Young married couple seeking advice…
    My husband says I am disrespectful to him and have a bad attitude. I know he is right. I also know in my vows I said I will obey him. Should we try the spanking as discipline?

    1. Hello Grace, Thank you for your comment. I believe spanking can help many situations like your own. Yes. It has a way of humbling a woman and returning her to a submissive attitude. Disrespect disappears from her lips and is replaced with honor. It’s also a good deterrent against bad behavior into the future.

      Your husband naturally should consider spanking as an option. But remember, it is not merely about punishment, but about his leadership in marriage, and your own gentle submission. It’s one part of the picture of what you both do in a loving marriage.

  10. I need advise before I destroy everything! I unfortunately am the last one on this list… It makes me angry and more rebellious. I am very stubborn and have been raised like I was a princess. I am an new bride and my HOH explained the expectations of submission to me before our wedding night. I think I thought I could manipulate him out of it. I had to be spanked on our wedding night just to agree to pleasure him.

    I walked away from my families money and knew I needed to be under control from a man that would help save my soul. I have always looked down on men. My HOH says I need years of training. He has done light spanking, but after a meeting with our bishop, the bishop advised that my HOH does longer/harder spanking sessions, mouth soaping and a paddle. He also said he wants to start introducing maintenance spanking daily. I also run from him during punishments and act so dramatic. It is not because of the pain -because it doesn’t really hurt. I run to take control and to undermine his authority. He remains calm and does not let me get away with it which I do appreciate. My punishments are always warranted and I do things on purpose to make him disappointed. Why am I doing this???
    I am 105LB and he is 250LB. Running never proves to work out well and he is worried about really hurting me. I AM the one causing so much conflict, worry and chaos in his home. Our bishop has advised that restraints should probably be used until I can learn to submit without them.
    I know I want and need to submit and I also hate that I purposely don’t obey him or god. The bishop has advised that punishments are a must until I can be less dramatic and humbled. I am at a loss. I know my HOH deserves to be respected and I purposely disrespect him. He has expressed wanting to leave me for someone more submissive if I don’t humble myself. I do want to be punished for my behavior I know in my heart it is required and what I need. My HOH told me that he is not interested in intimacy with me anymore until I can be humble, submissive and fully live this lifestyle. We are now sleeping in different rooms. I am at a loss for why I undermine authority and god whenever I can. I want him to be proud of me and happy.

    1. Hello Amber, When we believe in God, we capitalize His name, both out of honor, and because it is a name or title. I have not seen any church in which spanking is so open that you call bishops to manage the situation, but they must have very interesting elders meetings there. Spanking ought to be open, of course, and there’s nothing wrong with a pastor giving advice or helping the husband to manage discipline.

      If you are intentionally disobeying your husband and God, I would think you either are very rebellious, or desire the control and attention that you receive when you misbehave. I’m sure you know the reasons better than I do. And if you were permitted to get away with whatever you want as a child, then you will take time to leave behind this attitude. You need to be humble and soft. That is something your husband’s discipline and instruction can teach you, but it’s also something you need to be working on yourself.

      A woman is to be meek towards her husband. The wife represents the holy Bride of Christ. She is pure, honors her husband, and loves to serve him. Leave behind selfish thought patterns and habits, and you will find you can step into this new person, and into being a deeply submissive wife. Ultimately, you won’t need to act out to get disciplined, but will enjoy submitting, and be fulfilled by pleasing your husband and by pleasing God.

      I do believe that discipline ought to be hard, and it ought to be undesirable. Light spankings don’t act as much of a deterrent, nor do they cleanse a woman as well as harder ones do. Your husband should be thorough in his spanking, as well as in his management of you at other times. Since there is a recurring problem, it is probably wise to give you maintenance, since it can help to train you.

      Sex is not a weapon in marriage. Both partners should share their bodies with the other. That is the teaching of Scripture. Despite being the head of the home, your husband has an obligation to share marital affection with you. Whatever sleeping arrangement you may have, he should not refuse intimacy.

      If you want him to be proud of you and happy, set your mind to being submissive. Grow as a godly woman. Learn what it means to be a virtuous wife, and start practicing it. You are not a small child, and are not bound to misbehave. Receive the lessons your husband gives you and learn from them. Be soft to his words and his command. I believe any husband would be honored to have a wife like that, who honors him.

      Feel free to write me personally if you have further difficulties.


  11. For me, I am grateful to say it is all of the first four. It is easy for me to obey him, and I crave his reassurance and affection. I like to be physically close to him, eager to be restored and show my contrition. In the hours and days afterwards, we have been very tender to one another, and I am more intentional about showing him my obedience and submission. There is a peace that I feel, once I know I’ve been properly punished and fully forgiven by my man.

  12. tryingtosubmittohim Avatar

    I feel at rest with my husband, and obey him easily.
    I think my respect for my husband has grown by leaps and bounds since we implemented spanking. I am not fighting him, I let him lead, and I am quick to honor his wishes where before I brushed them away. No wonder he was passive and seemed “lazy” to me. He had kind of given up on engaging!
    Now I am quick to obey and honor him. I feel more restful because I know he is leading. I don’t even care to watch the news or be on facebook as much— I know my attention needs to be on my home and family! This has always been my desire but now I’m more alert to it.
    If you would have asked me a couple years ago, I would have said that spanking your wife is abuse. Now I think it’s just God’s mysterious plan. I’ve seen the fruit of it in our marriage and neither of us want to go back. He does not relish hurting me. But he loves the softening of my heart and the closeness we now share.

  13. Better Lady Avatar
    Better Lady

    I will also say the first 4 are true for me. My Hoh and I are older and are new to DD. I approached him and asked for it after knowing that there was something missing. I do want to be good and not earn any disciplinary spankings but when I stray from right, they happen and I am grateful for them. They make me feel closer to my Hoh and they make me careful to obey and honor him in both the short term and the long term. In a relatively short time, I have found that I have been able to shed bad habits and behaviors and I am much more aware of my attitude as well as his needs. Our home is better cared for and I am truly happier everyday. I used to spend time being selfish and unhappy. Now I spend time supporting my Hoh by being an obedient, submissive and loving wife. He provides me with love, discipline, guidance, protection and honor. I am so grateful that we figured out how very good life could actually be. When I began researching this lifestyle, I read several posts and comments that said something like a spanked wife makes for a great life. At first, I didn’t think that could possibly be true but over time and trials, I fully agree.

    1. That is a wonderful testimony. I’m really glad you came to it with an open mind and were willing to seek the truth. Spanking truly is an aid to help a woman step back and let her husband lead. Marital discord can disappear nearly overnight. I pray we have more visitors here that give it an honest try. Thank you.

  14. I would say 1, 3, and 4, though I have only recently started being spanked again after 11 years.

    I have always been very headstrong and defiant, but I’ve also found that I have a strong, undeniable desire for my husband to take charge of me. We started dating at 17 and married at 21 and we’ve always had a pretty good marriage, but submission has always been a sore point. He’s naturally a laid-back guy, but I see that I exploited that to my advantage.

    About three years into our marriage, I came across DD and attempted to introduce it. He was hesitant, but willing. Sadly, to my shame, I told him not long after he finally got into a groove that I no longer wanted him to spank me and he (understandably in this world) acquiesced. Over the last 11 years, though, I’ve seen his confidence deteriorate and anxiety increase. He’s occasionally mentioned over the years that he wishes he had never stopped, but I would flatly reject the idea. Thankfully, somehow, I have recently come to my senses and have asked him to start again.

    All that to say, at 36, we are not technically *new* to DD, but it sure feels like it. I’m apprehensive, but I know deep inside that it’s the right thing to do. I have asked him to spank me soundly for 14 years of disobedience, defiance, and lack of submission, and he’s said he will do that tonight. Any thoughts or encouragement would be appreciated!

    1. Hello Lauren, That’s great news. It was a good choice to recognize that you needed the discipline, and to tell your husband. Ultimately, he should know the choice is his, but if it takes your prompting, that’s okay. I know you will find peace and stability under your husband’s guidance, but keep that instinct to buck against it in check.

      I hope he is learning as well not to let too many things slide. He knows the results of being too laid back. I can only recommend focusing your mind on the lesson that is coming now, and on being one with your husband. He is the one to shape you, so you need to be soft to his touch. Make it your constant effort to be respectful, gentle, and obedient to him. I believe there will be long term change for the good.

      Feel free to share how it works out in returning to discipline, and being more fully submitted to your husband.

      Best to both of you.

      1. I told him about a week ago that I hoped he would take charge again. As you said, it was ultimately his decision, but I felt pretty sure based on what he’s said over the years that he would be willing. The next day I ended up over his knee because of bad language in front of our children, which our 2 year old daughter then repeated. That has really become a problem and I’m praying he won’t have to repeat that lesson.

        Last night he spanked me with his hand and then his belt, and I was so sorry, but it was definitely needed after so many years of rejecting his authority.

        Thankfully, I can already see improvements in our marriage and family. He’s taking more initiative to lead and discipline our 4 children and we have been intimate every day, when before, I’m ashamed to say, we would often go months without it. To be honest, I can’t get enough of him now and I was fairly convinced that I had near zero interest in sex before.

        Mentally, I’m still struggling, not least because I don’t have anyone to talk to about this in real life. I’m praying the changes will be so positive that it will outweigh that.

        1. Hello Lauren, I’m glad to hear your husband in moving forward with disciplining you. Perhaps you can connect with some of the submissive wives who comment on this website. I have a page devoted to women helping other women in submission. It is always good to have some support. You could also leave your contacts on this page if you’d like to meet other women.

          I know the kind of behavior you mention would get any wife here spanked, if not more than once. Bad language, even when not in front of children, along with disrespect are just a few things that some clear rules and a hard spanking will take care of quickly. I know you will work to move past those habits in the future.

          For most couples, spanking also inspires more intimacy, and not just during the discipline session. Discipline contains some of the very same elements as sex, and naturally inspires more of it.

          I am very happy for you both. I believe the changes will be more than worth it.

  15. None of the above really, it’s more attitude adjustment.
    I don’t set out to do something wrong but it happens I get spanked and it’s over. No arguments or sulking, a happy peaceful life.

  16. elizaishis Avatar

    I am careful to behave in The long term, I feel at rest with my husband and obey him easily, and I want to be close to my husband emotionally and physically. The most tenderest times with my husband are always after a punishment spanking as the longing to physically reconnect and totally surrender and submit to him is intensified after a spanking

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