Poll: What’s the Most Common Infraction

Welcome to another Reader’s Poll, ladies and gentlemen.

This time the question for men is: What behavior do you need to spank your wife for most often?

Women can answer: What do you do that gets you spanked the most?

Feel free to explain, and add any insight you like.

You can find most of the articles at Spank Your Wife organized loosely by category on the About Page.

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101 responses to “Poll: What’s the Most Common Infraction”

  1. I find, nearly 95 percent of any spankings I have had to give to my wife had something to do with her not doing assigned chores or following orders regarding basic housekeeping. She tends to “forget” or procrastinates to the point that she misses doing anything in the time frame I have for her

    1. Thanks for your reply. Yes, me too. Maybe around 90%. My wife gets right to her responsibilities after she’s been spanked.

      1. It’s amazing how a hot rear end will get them moving and remembering.

      2. obeysubmit Avatar

        Sir Aronhusband, sir Nate
        I don’t know who was the first man who spanked his woman but he definitely deserved the Nobel prize.

        1. A spanking certainly does bring peace, and very fast.

        2. Imagine how many marriages could be saved.

      3. obeysubmit Avatar

        sir Aronhusband,
        Yes ,it does indeed

  2. Jeremy Avatar

    Lack of reverence. I am extremely strict about it. I don’t put up with even a “sideways” look or attitude. She is required to confess to me if attitude impacts her behavior or reactions at all and I always discipline for it… In my opinion this is the foundation of virtually all misbehavior so keeping this under control helps prevent almost all other behavior issues…

    1. obeysubmit Avatar

      Sir Jeremy,
      I’m curious about your experience sir do you discipline harsh for minor infractions or it’s just a light spanking?
      Do you believe that woman should obey man unquestioningly by being in a total submission to him ?
      Thank you

      1. Jeremy Avatar

        I try to make the punishment fit the crime… But what I consider a mild paddling might be harsh for some folks…

        Yes I believe that complete submission is required…

    2. This is the most common infraction for me as well. Attitude, impertinence, improper tone, sighing or rolling my eyes… my husband disciplines me anytime I am not showing proper respect. He also requires cheerful and prompt obedience. If I complain, question disrespectfully, whine, pout, mumble, or show attitude in anyway – that is not proper obedience. If I delay or require a reminder – that is not proper obedience. Obedience and respect are the foundation to a happy marriage.

      1. margretmorgan65 Avatar


  3. Wondering Avatar

    Okay: here’s my comment for the question, and I apologize in advance if it gets too long and/or boring. I can’t really answer it the way others might be able to. I’m relatively new to this whole “thing.”
    I wanted to give a little information on who I am first, since I just showed up here one day and started asking questions and giving my opinions. Haha.
    I am probably older than a lot of people on here. I am 41 years old and I’ve been married, going on 21 years. The thing is, I’m sure a lot of ladies are younger than me, but farther ahead in their submission to their husbands. And that is terrible. I’m not proud of it at all. And it’s not because I didn’t “know” better. I’ve been in church, every time the doors were open, for literally 25+ years. I’ve heard how wives are supposed to be. I’ve wanted that myself. But, :::sigh::: things don’t turn out to be what you have in your head they “should” be. I’ve had a rough marriage. We’ve been apart for probably 4 years because he’s worked out of state a lot. And I think that’s where I’ve become almost “too independent.” I have raised kids pretty much on my own, and had to run the house alone. And I’m not blaming him. He always sent the money we needed to live off of. I’m just thankful things have changed. We now PERMANENTLY live together and he has a good job only half an hour from where we live. It’s just taken me time to get used to having a husband and submitting to him again. We have 4 WONDERFUL kids. I homeschooled/homeschool them still. We all sing in the choir at church, my girls have never worn pants in their lives, my son has always had a short haircut, we don’t even have tv. Well, we have A tv, to hook up when we want to watch something. My girls weren’t/aren’t allowed to “date.” We believe in being friends, getting to know the guy, and letting him hang out with our family and then if they go somewhere, it must be chaperoned. I didn’t even kiss my husband until we got married, and I missed and kissed his chin. Haha aaaanyway. Sorry if that was boring, but I just wanted to give a little bit of a story of who I am.
    Back to the question. Well, sort of… this whole CDD thing, or whatever you want to call it, started with my oldest daughter. She was talking to a man who mentioned how hard it is to find a woman because they’re “loud” and disrespectful. My daughter was halfway kidding but halfway serious and told him “women like that need the rule of thumb used on them.” Well, the discussion went on where he admitted that he did believe women like that deserved to be spanked. Well, I have had discussions with my kids where I was like “I REALLY think if a wife acts like that, her husband has a right to spank her!” So, when that guy told my daughter that, she was fine with it. Well, he went on to mention he believed EVERY Christian wife deserves a spanking sometimes. My daughter told me about it, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. So… I did what EVERYONE does and searched it online and got to this site. I kept reading posts, and I was like “whoa…. I guess that IS true.” 😳
    The more I read, the more I realized I wasn’t what I should be. Don’t get me wrong, I thought I was a decent wife. I’ve always gotten up with my husband, made his breakfast, made his coffee, and packed his lunch. Even days after staying up all night with a baby. I always have dinner made when he walks through the door, and the house is always clean. I have always taken care of everything in the home… and I should have. He worked and I was blessed to stay home. That’s what I always wanted to do, since I was a kid. I always was happy to cook, clean, and care for my husband and family. I still am! Anyways, sorry… back to the question….
    There’s a story about how I told my husband about disciplining his wife, but I’ll not go into details about that. The things I have found myself getting spanked for is: mostly disobedience. Now I don’t want you to think I purposely don’t do what my husband asks, but I tend to put things off for too long and then find they’re not done by the time he gets home. He is usually pretty easy going about things. But if he’s told me several times, he expects it to be done. And if it isn’t, well… I think we all know what happens. 😬 And another thing I get spanked for, and I deserve it even more than he does it, is for being argumentative. Like not in an angry way, but an “I have to prove my point and I know I’m right” kind of way. And actually, just this morning, we were arguing ( playfully mostly) about which direction our house sits. He was telling me East was “this way” and I was certain it was “that way.” He even took me outside to show where the mountain is in relation to our house, and I STILL kept saying he was wrong. I got pretty loud and he was kind of laughing but kind of serious and finally said “ugh! Do you WANT a spanking?!” I was shocked he said that right in front of the kids. (They are older and I’ve told them that husbands have a right to punish anyone in the house because he is the authority. But they don’t have any “proof” that that happens in our house) Anyway, that got me to be quiet really fast and continue with my day. And if anyone was wondering… I looked at a map. He was right. 😒

    1. Hello Wondering, That’s an interesting back story for all our readers to hear. Thank you. I think it’s great the way that you discovered discipline and got involved. Children certainly aren’t ignorant of these things.

      Often procrastination veers into being disobedience, even if it didn’t start that way. I have more than once needed to lecture my wife about that during her spanking. There’s a fine line between being irresponsible, and just refusing to do what your husband tells you.

      But it sounds like you are listening loud and clear to him when he asserts himself. Men should know sometimes they need to be strong and clear, and give a warning. It can stop trouble in its tracks.

      Keep doing your best. Take care.

    2. It sounds like you are a very good wife. I am still working on getting my wife to do a lot of what you said you do daily. That’s on me. I enjoyed your response. I think you have given your children a good foundation for a happy marriage also. Keep it up. Also….although our culture often jokes about men and directions….we are usually pretty good with a sense of direction and know where East is.

      1. Wondering Avatar

        Thank you, Nate. I appreciate your comment. It is helpful, because to me, I just see how far I need to go to be what I should.
        I really try to live right. And this site has really made me realize and think about HOW I treat my husband. Like all the “things” I do, just come naturally. But really, submission is a “heart” issue. I want to purposely equate obeying my husband with obeying the Lord. Because, that is how God says wives are supposed to be. And I’ve often thought, “yeah, well obeying God is easier. God is perfect. It’s harder to obey and submit to an imperfect, fallible man.” But, that’s not right thinking. As wives, we are obeying the Lord when we obey our husbands. And if he is wrong, then God is the One he answers to. I need reminded of that, more than I would like to admit. But I’m thankful for this site. Ultimately, we should want to obey our husbands because it’s right. But a spanking is a little extra incentive to do it quickly. 😂
        Oh and the direction thing… yeaaaah. I know he knows directions. And I SHOULD know which direction the sun rises from, but I got confused with the way the roads run and… Hahaha it’s a long story, but yeah he was right and I should have known better than to keep the argument going. Things like that…. are what I need to work on. Because yeah, it ends up being disrespectful and that’s… not good.
        And I’ll be praying your wife learns to be more like you’d have her be. I’m sure she’ll come around. None of us are perfect, and we all have things we need to work on. 🙂

        1. Thank you Wondering…I appreciate your response. You sound like a good woman and wife. Your husband must be proud. Stay the course. We are here if you need us.

    3. Tony Senex Avatar
      Tony Senex

      Dear Wondering, you are a very good wife! No matter if some (rare) times you deserve a spanking. As Eve’s daughters, all women have a natural tendency to sin. But I am sure your sins are light. Your girls aren’t allowed to date and you are perfectly right to chaperon them. No coquetry but prayers and domestic chores for them! In any cases yours is really a WONDERFUL family!

    4. Which way is east is a very good thing to not bother arguing with anyone about.

      The sun will come up in the morning and correct him.

      Or you.



  4. I’m seeking a spouse that will.

    1. How do I get in touch?

  5. Ninna Avatar

    at the beginning of our marriage I had the bad habit of swearing, I had many meetings with the belt of my husband to get rid of this bad habit, and also to learn to speak the gentle way, gentle and submissive, but this speech training It helped shape my behavior a lot, so I tornace me more submissive and a better wife. these days, what makes my ass aflame the most is spending a lot of time on the Internet, or on television, especially if I access content that my husband considers inappropriate for a Christian wife.

  6. SurrenderingTess Avatar

    Hi all!
    It’s been a long while since I’ve commented here, but well… Life and all.
    Yikes. I’d say the majority of my spankings are for procrastinating on chores, forgetting chores, or, flat out laziness. Sigh. Not a word I like, but hard to argue against when all is said and done (or not done).
    The other major infraction I’m disciplined for is poor or argumentative attitude, but luckily it doesn’t happen too often now. Always learning…
    I’ve not done a good job with chores lately and know I’ll be sitting gingerly tomorrow morning, as I’ve been told I’m getting a spanking tonight.. Not looking forward to facing the consequences tonight, yet.. It’ll be good to atone and have a stern reminder of why keeping up with the chores are important. I know it’s well deserved. Just hope I can find a way in me to just get it done when it’s supposed to be done. Shouldn’t be so hard really 🙈

    1. Dear Surrendering, Thank you for sharing. Procrastination is a common problem, but you’ve got the right attitude in seeking to learn from your correction. I know the lesson will be on your mind and you will be more careful in the future.

      1. Surrendering Tess Avatar
        Surrendering Tess

        Thank you for your kind reply, Aronhusband. I’m definitively seeking to learn from this and not have to repeat yesterday’s lesson. It was, and still is, painful, both in the flesh and in the heart. One of the things that I didn’t really think about until I was waiting alone in the room before my spanking, was that by being lazy and immature as I’ve been, I’ve not only been disobedient and disrespectful towards my husband, but also towards Jesus, who has placed my husband in charge over me. I have a lot to think about these days, and I am on a very short leash with promise of a swift and stern reminder if I slack off, as I should be. I am grateful to him that he sets me straight and teaches me to become the more mature wife I should have been already.

  7. A Faithful Husband Avatar
    A Faithful Husband

    My wife would say she usually finds herself in hot water by accident. She thinks she just forgot or hadn’t gotten to around to it yet, or even better, she didn’t realize it would make her/us late. In fact, it all comes back to immaturity and irresponsibility. I know she didn’t set out to disobey me, but she let other things get in the way of her duties as a wife, and that led her straight down the path to disobedience. It doesn’t matter whether that’s what she intended if that’s where she ended up. She’s learning that’s also a fast track to my belt.
    Obedience means following her husband’s instructions first, period. That takes some advance planning in her day and the strength to ignore distractions like vanity. This is where my wife struggles the most, but that’s why God gave me the ultimate command over her life. She needs a man to lead her down the right path and punish her when she strays from it. I’m thankful to have discovered spanking early in our marriage, and avoided the truly bad behavior I might’ve seen from her otherwise. My wife is a soft and sweet woman who isn’t looking to steal the reigns from me. She just wants to be the natural woman God made her, living under her man’s authority. But she does not have self-discipline.
    The more I’ve prayed and reflected on a man’s role in marriage, I don’t know that’s even possible for a woman. God made men strong so that they could provide the discipline their women lack on the inside. We know from the Fall that their beautiful, soft hearts are easily led astray. Without discipline from a husband, they start to think they know best and end up taking up with the devil. You can see that almost anywhere you look in this world. With God’s blessing, I am my wife’s “self” discipline. I set her bottom on fire whenever she’s done wrong, and in a moment of weakness, she can remind her “self” of that to stay on a righteous path. If not, I’ll be here to tan her poor little hide again, and I’ll keep doing it until she learns her lesson. She needs to hear my voice, and think of my belt, when she wants to give in to laziness. I believe that’s the way He intended men to shepard, protect, and love the women in their care.

  8. For me, it’s definitely not doing things I’ve committed to do. I am quite soft hearted and submissive, but I can find ways to waste time without realizing it’s happening! I made a checklist and that seems to help me keep track of what I need to get done. It needs to be completed before my husband gets home, too, so I can focus on him. (I accidentally posted this on the previous post. I’m sorry for the duplication.)

    1. Austin Avatar

      I love the idea of a checklist. This would really save me from the panic I sometimes feel right before he comes home. Sometimes I get punished and it was just because I completely forgot. I do love the idea of completely giving all of our attention to our husbands when They get home. Happy husband=No belt

  9. A Learning Wife Avatar
    A Learning Wife

    Well, I can’t say much as my husband doesn’t use spanking (even though I’ve asked him to consider it-he did a couple times then stopped for other reasons), he definitely uses other methods of punishment. And I get punished mostly for laundry. Am I the only wife out there that can’t stand doing laundry??? Especially with a 3 and 1 year old??

    Its been rough lately with that, it just seems I can never think of it. I don’t know if my comment counts or not since I’m not getting spanked but thats my biggest issue that my husband will punish me for.

    1. Thanks for your comment. Sure, non-spanking punishment counts. It serves some of the same purposes of a spanking, although in general I find it as effective. Make a point to get to work on the laundry, even if you have to write it own.

    2. Wondering Avatar

      I just wanted to answer your question about laundry. I didn’t want you to feel like you were alone! I REMEMBER the days of having little ones and no, the laundry was NEVER caught up. If my husband had punished me for that… I don’t know if I would ever be able to sit! 😂 I just wanted to encourage you that it DOES get easier. Those little ones will grow so fast, and before you know it, you will have two helpers for your housework. Nowadays my laundry never backs up, but 10-15 years ago… it was bad. The rest of the house was nice looking, but don’t go into the basement… hahahaha!

      1. A Learning Wife Avatar
        A Learning Wife

        Oh, wondering, thank you for your comment! It does feel like I can never get it all caught up. I’m supposed to do one load a day but it is absolutely amazing how time can slip away!! Not to mention I am potty training my three year old, so there’s extra laundry right there. Hes pretty patient if I just make sure to do that one load a day but I’ve been falling behind too much.

        Anyways, it does make me feel better. I’ve done good the last couple days but it is my biggest struggle for sure.


    3. Surrendering Tess Avatar
      Surrendering Tess

      Hi Learning Wife! 🙂

      In my head, discipline is discipline, wether that means a spanking or non-CP. The goal is the same – draw a line in the sand and help us become the best we can be.

      You are definitely not the only one struggling with laundry. It is my number one chore that I procrastinate about, mostly with putting away the clean clothes. It becomes a laundry mountain and my hubby isn’t really pleased about that. It’s been a recurring issue for a while, and I’m still sore on the third day now from a serious reminder that this is not okay. I’m on a tight leash and any slacking will result in a prolonging of that sore backside. There are also other non-CP parts of discipline that are in motion these days to help me grow in this area and hopefully not have to repeat this lesson too many times. I wish I could say I’ll never procrastinate again, but it’s not really realistic, even if I am working hard on changing my ways.

      1. A Learning Wife Avatar
        A Learning Wife

        I’m starting to feel a bit better about my laundry situation. I’ve been doing better the past couple days, and even got 2 loads done today! I’m so thankful to hear from women who are in the same spot as me, and to be able to openly discuss it! This is the only place I can speak freely about being punished, spanked or not.

        One thing that might help thats helped me the last couple days is find your most down time during the day (if it exists🤣) and then program your husband’s phone to send an automatic text message at that time with a stern reminder to do the laundry. That gets me moving every time😁

        1. Surrendering Tess Avatar
          Surrendering Tess

          Congratulations on your progress, Learning Wife! Well done, and keep it up 😊

          Haha, you are definitely not alone. Most mom’s I speak with – punished or not (I wouldn’t know, but sure am curious 😂😂😂) – tell me they have their own laundry mountains that seems to overwhelm them too. I guess it’s the ungratefulness of it all that’s got to me over time – not from family members, but from the fact that it just never ends. With 3 kids and a lot of visitors it gets to be a lot some times.

          But… I’ve also been convicted of doing all things as to the Lord. And reminded to be grateful that I have clothes to wash, a washing machine (as a youth I lived in a different country and had to wash manually in the sink). And the reminder that it is important that it is done, otherwise the house will actually not function well.

          For me it’s getting easier by the day to get into a better habit and break the old one. What helps me a lot is I have to give an account of my day every evening now for at least 3 weeks, and I know if I break the agreement of doing at least one load of laundry, and folding and putting it away, I will have a hefty meeting with the loopy that we have, and it is no fun. I also have to spend extra time on chores these weeks, which basically is just catching up what I should have done earlier.

          I’m glad to say I’ve kept the laundry room tidy and done well with chores since my reckoning, and my husband says he’s really pleased with my efforts. I truly believe I’m on the way to establishing good routines I’ll be able to keep up in the future.

          Unfortunately I have got myself in trouble in another area, being argumentative and not being able to stop my mouth in time. Some times I get exasperated with myself. You know, I thought I was further along, but I’m grateful attitudes and behaviors are coming to the light and are being dealt with, although the process is humbling and painful to go through, I know I’ll be better for it. I haven’t really been used to ask permission for a lot of things, and I was convicted by another post on here yesterday, that I hadn’t told my husband I comment on here. He doesn’t mind me doing so, he told me, but he’s not too happy I’d started commenting without asking prior. We’re having a weekly assessment on Sunday, and I’m pretty sure he’ll be pointing that out. Sigh.

          I’m also glad to have a safe place to discuss these things openly and learning from others who are in similar processes. Thanks for sharing your progress and process, and know that you’re not alone at all 😉

      2. Austin Avatar

        I think that laundry and household chores are a very important Duty that is required of a submissive wife.
        I believe most heads of household expect this to be done and feel disrespected when it’s not.
        My husband has asked that what he wore that day before be cleaned the following day and put back in his closet. That way things do not ever pile up.
        One thing that has worked for me, is that I set my alarm and wake up early before anyone is awake and start on the laundry.
        We live in a time where we’re not actually washing the clothes.
        We have washers and dryers and the only thing asked of us is to load them and put the clothes away. One time when I complained about laundry my husband asked if I would like for Him to remove the washer and dryer and he would be willing to give me a wash bin where I could do it by hand.
        This quickly made me have gratitude for modern day appliances that make my duties much easier. It sounds like all of us have Struggle with household duties that are required of us. Waking up and doing laundry early may not work for all of us but perhaps the both of you could come up with a plan of what would motivate you to not procrastinate.
        I would also suggest asking him what his specific requirements are as far as time. Good luck.

      3. Surrendering Tess Avatar
        Surrendering Tess

        Hi Austin,

        Thank you for your comment, and sorry it took me a while to reply.

        I’m glad you’re able to wake up early and get things done before the house gets up. That’s not really doable for me atm, but I usually get a load started as soon as I’m up. As for time, as long as whatever I have begun is finished before we go to bed, husband is satisfied.

        I am still unsure what could motivate me, which I guess is a part of the problem, however for me I think the most important thing is to just get it in my head (and routine) that whether or not I’m motivated, I still just need to do it. Which is what I’ve done the last 14 days without fault, which is great and also embarrassing as it shows very well this is something I’m perfectly capable of doing, just need to get out of old bad habits. I actually had two days where I couldn’t do any laundry as everything was done 😱 That was a new and wonderful experience, so maybe that would also help on my motivation to keep it up. Science says that it takes 21 days to establish a new routine, so I’m well on my way with that. My goal is definitely too keep it up even if I my husband decides that I don’t have to give an account of my day after three weeks are done.

        How are things going for you? I’m happy to say I’ve had a pretty good week, so hopefully tomorrow’s tally won’t amount to too much.

  10. I would have to say procrastination (sometimes laziness). Not taking care of certain tasks that need to be done in a more timely manner. Also, for smarting off and having an attitude. Both are very disrespectful and need to be dealt with by receiving a good paddling from my husband. Though we feel I have improved in these areas, they are still a work in progress. Receiving discipline from my husband has most definitely made a positive difference in our marriage! So thankful for this site and for all of the wisdom you have shared Mr. Aaron! God bless!!

    1. You’re welcome, L.R. It’s good you can see where your problem areas are, and how you need to work on them. I know your husband’s guidance has been a great help to you.

      1. Yes, for certain. Indeed it has! I so respect him for taking control and initiative when it comes to disciplining me now. I am in my early 50’s and can relate to CoTxGrl in alot of ways. Had to learn alot of lessons and things in the beginning (had alot of bad habits to break!). Still needing firm sessions to help in my development to be a better wife. It’s a daily walk for sure! I can be a little strong willed and argumentative at times..(issues with my tone sometimes as well). Working on that (with assitance from our friends paddle, belt and loopy on my bare bottom 😔). Initially, I found your site and discussed it with him. With all due respect for him, he was a little reluctant. But, he has really grown into his proper roll in just a short time. He struggled with being consistent in the past. But, has really stepped up for certain. Though the discipline isn’t pleasant our marriage is all the better for it!! Hebrews 12:11😊

  11. CoTxGrl83 Avatar

    I would have to say I am spanked most often because I struggle to use a sweet and respectful tone when my husband tells me it’s time to move on from a subject, or verbally corrects me. Typically one of my biggest struggles is accepting when he has made a decision and i just need to accept it and say yes sir. Or if I do say the words it is not in a sweet and supportive way. Learning how to be submissive from the heart is different than just being submissive. If you can not do it with a gentle heart then it isn’t true submission. I am a little bit of a firey person, and I think honestly my husband loves that about me, but this is the other side of that! I am working very hard on it. I’m tired of getting my butt spanked really hard for this! My husband is tired of it too because he has upped the intensity of my punishments for this behavior . I did just have a really hard punishment the week before last because I did not say yes sir and stop with my grumpy words when my husband warned me I was being to intense while cleaning the house before company. So I’m still working on this, but I know one day I will master it, and then I will have a new issue to deal with I’m sure 🙂

    1. I can totally relate to everything you’ve said CoTxGrl83! Very well said!!

      1. CoTxGrl83 Avatar

        Thank you. I do think we all have somewhat similar experiences. Well some of us I supoose maybe not all. It’s really hard sometimes. I agree with Jbratland above, it has made my marriage so much stronger and closer.

    2. CoTxGrl83

      I am sure you will work through your weakness in this area. You are right, your husband is most likely getting tired of having to punish you for the same thing over and over, hence the intensity. But you appear to have the right attitude towards improving and you know what the issue is. You can do it. It will come. True submission is in the heart, like you said.

      1. CoTxGrl83 Avatar

        Thank You. I am working hard on this one. It isn’t easy to fully let go in moments when I feel strongly one way and I must submit to him. It’s so silly because basically 2 seconds after he spanks me I don’t care anymore!! So I’m trying to bring that feeling in BEFORE I am across his knee!!! He gets pissed now the second it happens and is pretty harsh verbally which is something that makes me obey immediately. He is very calm and never raises his voice so when he speaks harshly it’s a bit scary. He is done with this I guess and he isn’t messing around anymore. He expects 100 submission in this area and if it is anything less than its not good for me!!! I am working hard on it though! My heart is in the right place!! I just have to take it easy in those moments!

  12. Austin Adams Avatar
    Austin Adams

    This is such a great question and one I’ve pondered on all day. What do I do that gets me spanked the most? This would have to be complaining.
    I can tell when I have pushed my husband to the point where he needs to take a stand to my attitude.
    I always get spanked when I have questioned his authority, been disrespectful, Nagging and complaining.
    All of these infractions really hurt my husband‘s feelings and question his authority. These are some of the rules that he set in the beginning of our marriage that he told me would never be allowed. Yet I continue to be rebellious.

    I think this is something that most women really need to work on and I also feel like it is the one thing that makes my husband unhappy.
    As a striving subordinate and submissive woman, I actually have a lot of remorse that I do this a lot to my husband.
    My spankings for this behavior are especially harsh and I can tell that my husband is especially emotional during these Punishments.
    The spankings always Have quite a few parts to them.
    They start with a conversation that the children need to sleep somewhere else for the night. I am always told to take my clothes off, it always starts with over the knee, then turns into the belt.
    These sessions really do make me reflect and see what I am doing as his wife to hurt him. While in the middle of The strappings I am Reminded of my transgressions, and told what I need to change.

    I really hate these punishments because they are aggressive and painful, but I especially hate them because I know I have transgressed in a way that has made him disappointed in me as his wife.
    These punishments are the only ones that he demands I perform oral on him after on my knees. I feel like this sets us back in place to where I become more submissive and have a better attitude of gratitude towards him in our life. After these more intense sessions the next few days following are always met in the morning with follow up spankings until he has seen a complete change in me.
    He also requires that I list the things I’m grateful for and watches to see that I am actually remorseful and more loving to him.
    He gently reminds me for the days following of my role in our marriage.
    He reminds me that he is the head of household and that I need to have faith and honor him in the decisions that he makes.
    I realize that the decisions he makes always helps our family even if I don’t see it at that time.
    He will often ask me to list what my duties are and to concentrate on those instead of what I feel I need or don’t have.

    Once I have returned to the kind, loving woman that I want to be for him- the spankings seem to reside until it gets out of hand again.
    I’m thankful to him for the reminder of where my place is and being corrected to be the woman I eternally want to be.

    1. Thank you. That’s a very good description of how effective discipline can be. I have never met a woman named Austin before. The pain of punishment is hard to bear, but a submissive wife should be focusing on the seriousness of her wrong, and the harm that it caused. It’s good that you reflect on this, and know to grow from it.

      1. Austin Avatar

        My parents decided to name their children after the town they lived in during conception. 🙂

        1. Thanks for the explanation. I would not have guessed.

    2. Thank you for your thoughtful and candid reply. It is very important that a wife does not undermine her husband. Not only his authority, but also his confidence to lead. I encourage you to continue to grow in your submission and learn to trust your husband fully. Again, thanks for writing.

  13. Wondering Avatar

    I’m sorry. I probably have commented too much… but I really am wondering (hence the name on here ) if anyone would get in trouble if they hung up on their husband. Like, if he called to talk, and you were busy and frustrated about stuff and just didn’t really want to talk, and pretty much said “okay, I’m going to go…” and you hung up. Probably not a good thing to do I’m guessing? :/ I’m guessing that would go somewhere in the disrespect category. Right?

    1. I would certainly punish my wife for that. Nearly everyone knows that is disrespectful. It’s an intentional snub.

      1. LadyLoch Avatar

        My worse offense would have to be talking back, and having a bad attitude. I was just recently married to my husband, and I was unsaved, until he helped me find God, and helped me learn that I needed to obey his command, and be a submissive wife. I find that with his guidance, I have been so much happier. Learning to undo my bratty behavior to be a better wife has been hard, I will admit. But shorty after being introduced to the church, I started to receive maintenance spankings, every Monday like clockwork. Up, and over his knee, and until he felt as though I had been given a fine reminder, of all that is expected of me. My attitude and dull thinking has significantly improved, and he seems so much happier with me. Although I mess up, and let my mouth get me in trouble due to my bad complaining habits, with the weekly maintenance spankings, on top of just normal spankings I receive for my childish acts, my husbands finds that I’m headed for the right direction. Only once have a received an extremely harsh punishment. I was caught in a lie, one in which involved me finishing the chores. He explained the one thing he asked of me was to never lie to him. This was one of my first times lying to him, but after he explained why he cannot allow this happen again, I knew in my heart that I had deserved this punishment. It was the first time I had received the paddle, seeing as normal spanking only got me the belt. I couldn’t sit for a week! But after thanking him for correcting my behavior, I was allowed the privilege of pleasing him with my mouth.

    2. Austin Avatar

      I have never done this and don’t think I would ever dare. I did ask my him what type of punishment I would get if I ever did something like this. He reminded me that this would be considered ignoring him and a blatant disrespect. He Never loses his cool or gives me a reason to hang up on him.
      If I am being scolded for something it is because he’s trying to teach me something, Or he is addressing something that I’m not taking care of.
      He also said that I need to remember that having a phone is a privilege that could easily be taken away.
      He has hung up on me, when I have been complaining on the phone, Being irrational and speaking to him in a tone that he didn’t care for. When he did get home there was a punishment for that behavior for speaking to him that way while he was at work. My first thoughts were that it was a double standard, but I quickly realized my behavior was disrespectful and that I needed to be reminded how to speak on the phone.

      1. Wondering Avatar

        Austin, thank you for the reply. I just wanted to let you know, that I wasn’t trying to hang up on him because I was mad at him or that he was saying anything I didn’t agree with. I literally was just overwhelmed in the moment of a bunch of stuff going on at once, and kind of just couldn’t handle a conversation on the phone. He called at a horrible time for me, just as I was starting to head out of the parking lot. It’s not legal to talk on the phone and drive, and I really SHOULD have pulled back into a spot and talked to him about whatever he wanted to tell me. I was being selfish, and only thinking of what I was going through and what I needed to get done. 😔 I realize this is a bad habit I have, that I need to stop. I don’t usually do it to my husband, but family members call a lot and need me to help do something almost daily. I end up running around everywhere, doing things for other people all the time. Sometimes I get frustrated and just don’t want to deal with the stress so I shut down whatever I can. And in certain cases, that means hanging up the phone. 😔 Trust me… I now know how disrespectful that was to do. I kept replaying Aron’s reply in my head over and over and I couldn’t even sleep. I kept feeling worse and worse. Anyways, I talked to my husband this morning about it, and it won’t happen again. He told me I’m not allowed to help everyone every time they call me because I have enough to do at my own house. Which is very true. I didn’t get in trouble this time, but if I ever do it again, I will be. … I won’t be doing it again. 😅

    3. Distant Observer Avatar
      Distant Observer


      You did the right thing by bravely facing the issue with your husband. If he had decided you needed discipline for what you did, I am sure you would have taken it with grace. I think it was important for your husband to know your motivations and about how your actions were not done out of defiance or anger, and while I do think he would have been still been justified spanking you, I think he showed wise restraint in this case with you.

      Keep being the good wife you are to your husband, Wondering! Your good attitude is a great example to others who may be reading.

      1. Wondering Avatar

        Distant observer, thank you so much for your comment. And I do agree with you. If he had chosen to give me a spanking, I know I deserved it. He is much more patient than a lot of men would be I think. And, I am thankful for him. We are pretty new at all of “this,” but I’m thankful we discovered it and I hope it leads me to be a better wife. That’s literally what I wanted my whole life. -Teachers got so aggravated when I scored so highly on tests and they asked “what do you want to be when you grow up?” I remember in 5th grade specifically. A school counselor went around the room asking that. He wasn’t happy with my “wife and mom” answer. He said I may never get married. My reply? “God has someone for me.” -I got married 10 years later 😃 Sorry, I ramble. My whole point to this was that through this new found discipline, and way of life/thinking, it’s helping me to be more submissive than I was before and it’s just been so helpful for our marriage. It’s helping me to be the wife I’ve wanted to be my whole life. Of course, trying to live by the Bible is the main thing, but with this too, it’s just an extra help. I appreciate all of you and your supportive comments. Thank you, everyone.

        1. Yes, you’re not going to find too many schools, Christian or otherwise, where being a wife and mother is actively encouraged. If that’s what a girl insists she wants, many will at the minimum regard her as weird, or at worst ridicule her. That’s while they’re not trying to change her mind. It is a blessing to the world that you stood firm in your faith.

    4. I would classify that as extremely disrespectful, yes. No matter what your reasons for being busy or distracted, unless you are in a position where it is unsafe to do so, then I would expect my wife to answer the phone in a timely manner and also to devote her undivided attention to the phone call. Not just to me, but actually to anyone calling her (excluding telemarketing people and the like).

      I do understand the feeling of being overwhelmed and that when you are busy a phone call can feel the last thing you need. But at the end of the day, someone is making the effort to contact you and to communicate. The least you could do it pay full attention to them.

      I realise it wasn’t an intentional act, but in some ways that may be worse. At least a one-off case of brattiness would be rude but an isolated incident. To just automatically and unthinkingly do this seems to me a fundamental lack of respect for your husband’s authority. I hope I am reading too much into it, however. The dynamic in your marriage is entirely your own, but I find it astonishing you even have to ask if this was disrespectful. If this was my wife she would immediately know she had erred and she would know to expect a punishment for it.

  14. For my wife, it is almost definitely linked to her menstrual cycle! She will be so respectful and sweet for 3 weeks out of 4. But my gosh, that one week! She can become so very disrespectful towards me, and that is something I absolutely will not tolerate.

    Examples include: rolling her eyes when she thinks I can’t see her; muttering when she thinks I can’t hear her; doing something with an attitude eg loading the dishwasher, but slamming the dishes down loudly to indicate her annoyance; sighing to indicate frustration.

    The main issue is questioning me. If I tell her that I have made a decision then 3 weeks out of 4 she will be compliant. But sometimes when she is getting/has just gotten her period, she will question my decision or even complain about it. That is something we have worked hard to clamp down on, as I simply will not tolerate it.

    I think partly she just can’t help herself and partly she is pushing the boundaries to see what she can get away with.

    We’ve been married 18 years and she has been pregnant many times. But unfortunately we have never managed to successfully have a child. This breaks our hearts, of course, but we have to believe the lord has a plan for us and it doesn’t include children. During her pregnancies I have been very lenient, because I didn’t wish to do anything that may risk harm to her or the baby. Also because I would believe that her hormones were probably making her misbehave. Over time I think she has somehow transferred this leniency to her menstrual hormones as well.

    It took me a while to realise the pattern (as it is not consistent every single month) but I have picked up on it and I am clamping down on the disrespectful attitude that seems to accompany her period hormones. She is not a pubescent teen, she is a grown woman, who ought to be in control of herself. I don’t hesitate to remind her of that when she is being disciplined.

    1. Hello Mike, I’m very sorry for your loss, and for your continued inability to bear children. I know it can be very hard. We love a child even if we know them only in the womb. I have known several couples who tried for many years to have children, who even thought it was impossible, and then in nearly their old age they finally did. If it is in the Lord’s will you will have have them.

      Your wife can learn not to give you attitude that fourth week out of four. Make sure she learns how. If I saw similar behavior with my wife I’d be certain she learned to behave herself. Hormones are no excuse. You could try giving her regular verbal warnings, or maintenance to keep her more aware of the attitude she needs to have. Likewise, you could punish bad attitude with a more memorable and severe spanking, that will make her think twice before being disrespectful to you. I believe any woman can overcome a bad attitude. I hope you see change in that soon.

      Many blessings.

      1. Thank you Aron, I appreciate your kind words. I pray you’re right, as we desperately yearn for children to complete our family. I am in my early 50s and my wife is in her mid 40s, so unfortunately time is not on our side. But we pray for a miracle. Losing the babies through miscarriage and stillbirth was devastating, we loved each and every child with all our hearts. I will admit it is a struggle not to feel some anger with the unfairness of the situation, but we do realise this is ungrateful of us, when we have been blessed with so much.

        Thank you, I have been too lenient with the hormonal attitude problem. I really have not fulfilled my duty as a husband, which is unacceptable of me, but slowly we are beginning to rectify it. We have now gone a few months without incident, following a particularly severe punishment last time she showed me a bad attitude before her period. I am pleased with this attitude adjustment, although I’m disappointed it took me spanking her raw for the lesson to sink in. She is an obedient and respectful wife in many regards, but she is still a woman after all, and so she needs a guiding hand to keep her in check.

        It’s interesting you mention maintenance spankings, as it’s not something we have ever tried. I think I will give it a shot, as she can occasionally get a little complacent if it’s been a while since her last punishment. How often would you recommend I do these maintenance spankings? And do I make it less painful than a punishment spanking? Thank you again, Mike

        1. Hello Mike, That is getting past the usual child bearing age. Yet, the Lord can still choose to give you a child, by His power. You can also look into foster care and adoption, though the latter is extremely expensive. I know that your love blesses your child, even if you only ever know them in the womb.

          Maintenance is most commonly given once a week, though you could choose another frequency if you’d like. You may just try a preemptive one at the beginning of the time she has trouble with. Or you could choose to spank regularly throughout the week. How you apply it is up to you. Maintenance is generally less severe than a punishment spanking, yes.

          I hope you continue to see some positive change.

        2. Searching for the truth Avatar
          Searching for the truth

          Hi Mike, I have just recently found this site and have been enjoying reading the articles and comments. I totally agree with the biblical gender roles and submission from the wife and leadership from the husband. I am trying to gather the courage to discuss this with my husband. While reading your comment about your wife during her monthly cycle and the fact that she has been pregnant many times and had still births , my heart was broken. I am so sorry for your loss.

          My husband and I have had 3 miscarriages and it was devastating. We also have 3 children, but when this happened I wanted to die and be with them. I know that is irrational but that is how I felt. I was crazy and probably clinically depressed. I cried so much, I stopped praying, I was in a deep depression. I wanted a big family, so when I have my period I realized that there was no new baby this time. My husband and I are open to life and didn’t use contraception. My doctor offered me meds but I said no, I would work it out. I said I was fine and happy the day before the miscarriages and I will be fine later. I just needed time to grieve.

          I was wondering if your wife has had any counseling to deal with her losses. For me a period was devastating. Her attitude may be from her sadness from the loss of another opportunity to have a child. To spank her for that seems cruel. Some people aren’t able to express their feelings clearly. While in a perfect world her coming to you and sharing her grief would have been better, but I know all to well how unstable you can feel as another month goes by and no baby.

          This isn’t about you, she needs time to grieve and heal and wrap her head around the fact that she may never have children. As women we know this is our purpose and when we can’t fulfill that purpose we can become very disillusioned and withdrawn. We can be so hurt we act like a wounded animal and lash out in strange behaviors. I don’t know you whole story, but I don’t think you have failed her. You were probably there holding her hand through all of this. Please have some compassion for you hurt and grieving wife.

    2. Becky Avatar

      Your comment struck a cord with me. I’m
      Usually pretty solid with moods. Happy go lucky and cheery wife. I do have hormone issues which made having children difficult but we were lucky to have two. I did great until my body started transitioning to menopause.
      Oh my word I don’t even feel like myself. So far I haven’t had an outburst but fighting it so hard has been emotionally and mentally traumatizing. Suicidal thoughts come from no where. Wanting to throw things!! Just outlandish things on my head. My husband is an incredible man and helps best he can. Reality is, a good spanking is sometimes the kindest thing a husband can do. But with hormones it can be desperately difficult to operate functionally.
      Luckily for me some tests found how badly things were out of whack and some supplements are helping greatly.
      My daughter struggled during her cycle and again. Some supplements to help have made life much much better.
      Take Care

    3. Mr. FS Avatar


      You sound like you have a strong understanding of your wife and the reasons behind this occurring and becoming a habit.
      I have found in my own marriage that oral service in the morning, especially during that 4th week, helps my wife stay focused. While it may be tougher to obey and be respectful that week, in most cases it just takes more focus and self control. I’d recommend you lay out expectations that during that week, she will come to you in the morning, every day, and request the honor and privilege of serving your needs. She should request for this oral training & service to show that you are lord and she needs to keep this as her focus the rest of the day. Then she should service you, on her knees, until completion in her mouth which she will then swallow with gratitude for the time you have taken in the busy morning helping her be the godly woman she needs to be.
      You will likely find there is must less disrespect if this occurs because she will be humbled and placed in the right mindset of respect and service the rest of the day.

  15. These days Jane doesn’t need to be spanked very much. The list of why I was forced to spank her throughout our marriage is a bit long. I can say that she needed quite a bit of quality time with the strap when I first decided to using spanking as punishment for a wide range of offences but soon the need to spank her tampered off quite a bit. However, as each of our daughters became teenagers the need to spank Jane became more frequent again. She wanted to be their friend when she needed to be their mother. Dealing with teenage girls is a busy time for the best parents but it can become a nightmare when one parent undermines discipline. The strap got a lot of use during this time and Jane all too often needed cushions to sit down , literally. The only bad behavior that has earned Jane a spanking recently , actually a few spankings , was being disrespectful to male authority. This was a young husband in our church and one of our son in laws. There were extenuating circumstances with our son in law but these would never justify her failing to show the proper deference to him. I think Jane though that since these husbands were so much younger than her , she didn’t have to be as respectful. But no matter what the age difference when it involves a head of household I expect her to show deference and respect , especially in a public setting. She is only required to obey me but she must show that she understands and accepts her place when interacting with any head of household under any circumstances.

  16. shizam6 Avatar


    It’s changed over the years at the beginning it was defiance, and controlling. Some people are so in control they’re out of control. The latter summed me up. The more controlling I was the more withdrawn, one woman army I became and with that comes disrespect.
    Due to having an extremely violent life from childhood, prior to my husband that wall of control was my safety net. My coping mechanism or defence.
    As strange as it may seem to some when we started the lifestyle and I was forced to let walls down I realized that control is a facade. I was so much more on control when I released it to my husbands hands.
    I never felt freer, stronger, happier or safer on my life. 30 years ago had this topic been suggested I would have scoffed but I’m so much better for it. Even being nervous for the actual spanking my husband lao feels like a safe place. I know once I submit that he will take care of everything and I cannot begin to express how grateful I am to him

    1. Thank you for your comment. Yes, giving up control is one of the most liberating things there is. One of the safest places in the world for a woman is in the hands of the loving man who leads her. Today many people think the opposite it true, but man’s headship over her is protective and fulfilling.

  17. Busy Dad Avatar
    Busy Dad

    Our rules are chiefly about home maintenance. These rules aren’t comprehensive. Instead, I make a handful of checks that indicate an overall problem if not done. They are straightforward so there is no doubt from either of us when undone. A few of them: no clothes on the stairs, no dishes in the sink, no wet laundry in the washer.

    If she’s having an unusually bad day, she can quickly check off these items to pass, which is better than me giving her a pass that undermines trust in the method. Over time, it’s not possible for her to keep passing unless she diligently maintains the home overall. As she’s learned.

    Besides those, we have two hard rules about personal behavior. These are more serious than chores, and one has never been broken. I’m proud of her obedience in these areas.

  18. Never commented before, but have read alot here and this blog is a great help and inspiration.
    What makes my husband having to punish me is mostly me not keeping the home tidy and doing my chores. I admit that I am a bit messy, but I really try not to be and the discipline he gives me helps alot. I recieve maintenance spankings twice weekly and without them I am much less focused and obedient.
    My goal is to be a very loving and obedient wife.

    1. It’s good to meet you, Fia. I’m very happy the articles have been inspiring to you. Feel free to share your comments on any of the posts. It would be wonderful for marriages if every wife sought for the same goals you do.

      1. Thank you!
        I am very happy to have found this path. I don’t feel that I am naturally submissive so it did not come easy to me. I am still struggling with having a submissive mindset and to be humble for my husband. Your words about humbling a rebellious woman was spot on.

  19. I’m in a newer marriage and am still spanked regularly. I have a habit of swearing that my husband hates and has been working with me to correct. Also, I am regularly spanked for not following directions.

    1. Thanks for your comment, Kate. It’s normal to get spanked fairly regularly early in a marriage. Swearing is definitely a habit you want to leave behind quickly. No husband should tolerate it. It’s great your husband cares to direct you on the right path.

    2. When I was a new wife, I’m ashamed to say I had a bad habit of not only swearing but using the Lord’s name in vain. My husband took this very seriously, and gave me long hard spankings, washed my mouth out with soap, and belted me. I know it can be difficult when this is a longstanding habit, but I know that with consistent discipline you will learn to be more pure in your speech.

      1. Thank you for your comment, Mandy. There is definitely more learning to do as a new wife. It must feel great to be free of those bad habits now, and it makes for a pure home. Your husband is watching out for your virtue.

  20. Wannabe_Waifu_97 Avatar

    My partner and I are new to Domestic Discipline, so we are still navigating everything, but if there’s anything I get my bottom blistered for, it’s procrastination and laziness!

  21. The #1 thing I get spanked/disciplined for the most comes from disrespectful words and attitude. And the #2 is for taking orgasms without permission. When I am stressed out or have a lot on the to-do list, I tend to get short tempered and use curt words, that come out sounding like barking orders rather than accepting them. And the best stress reliever is a nice, strong orgasm. So sometimes I get disciplined for both infractions on the same day! You’d think I’d learn….. 😕

  22. Most of my spankings are for not getting my household chores finished usually due to day dreaming. I start the task with great speed then get carried away on something else so it doesn’t get finished.
    This is the main reason we have maintenance to try and help keep me focused but didn’t always work. But I must keep trying to be a better wife.

    1. Yes, that is the most important thing; that you make it your goal to be a good wife, and improve if you fall short. Your husband is your household is surely blessed.

      1. Susan in florida Avatar
        Susan in florida

        Aron –

        There probably isnt a “most common” thing that triggers a punishment spanking, since we’re on the h on the same wavelength in ourrelationship. That said . .

        1. I am NOT spanked for mistakes made when we’re not together, or which are resolved directly witith the other party. Things like parking tickets, misplacing my cell phone, and being kept late at work.

        2. Although i always try to be super polite, he has observed that II ocassionally have a tendency to try and get the last word in. Even though its not a mean word. I get one warning a day. A second recurrance the same day could be either immediatelly punishable with pants down swats (parking garages, stairwells., and restrooms get pressed into service), or he may opt for “something more serious when we get home”. I have no voice un this, and the decision is always his alone.

        3. Inappropriate attire. This is infrequent, but tricky as there aren’t many hard and fast rules. But if he has bought me something, i understand i need to wear it. If not today, then tomorrow at the latest. When i am with him at a business funtion i must never have a missing button or garment stain. The biggest challenge has been the lingerie rule. It must always be obvious im wearing some – and thatb ts high end. But i cant have it appear clunky, or cheap, or missing entirely. Thongs are not allowed at business supoers. There must be an obvious panty line. And it has to be intriguing and chic. Try and keep that top of mind when you’re already rushing to get dressed.

        4. The last category is “personal commitment/responsibility”. An example: early in our relationship i was 45 minutes late picking him up at thei airport. He didn’t miss his afternoon meeting at the office, but that’s not the point. I overstayed a lunch with a friend. It was 100% on me. We barely needed to discuss it. Whwn he got home that evening i was already undressed, and kneeling at edge of the couch cushion, with a plastic spatula on the coffee table. Anticipating his thoughts in advance helped defuse the situation a little, but Ii still cried, and afterwards agreed i deserved it

  23. 1. being disrespectful and using not nice tone of my voice
    2. having a bad attitude
    3. trying to have the last word
    4. forgetting taking out a wet loundry from a washing machine
    5. procrastination and laziness

    Now is mutch better and I’m not spanked very often because of those 5 points 💪
    Because my greatest weaknesses are most of the time under control 💪, my husband is focused on my sexual submission. I still have a problem with putting his needs on the first place. For example while sex I’m running for more pleasue forgetting my husband’s needs 🙁 of course he still can feel pleasure but he can notice if he is on the first place for me or not. He is a huge fan of oral and anal sex, but I’m not and that’s why not always I do my best to pleasure him while oral or anal. I’m really trying to improve myself on that field, not only to avoid spanking but because I believe my husband has a full right to expect being always on the first place for me, and he deserves this.

    1. Thanks for your thoughts, Kinga. I know you are working hard if you aren’t getting spanked as often for those things. I appreciate your desire to put your husband’s needs first. Any wife must focus on that. He must see the difference in you since you have been growing in submission.

      1. We’ve been working really hard for the last year and my husband turned out to be a great leader and a guide. I shouldn’t be suprised because those features are a natural part of manhood. My progress in submission is 90% due to my husband. His guidance and consistency are the key. That’s why I believe he deserves to be always on the first place in our bed, and in general.
        So, because my biggest weaknesses are under control, we made an agreement it’s time to improve my submission in bed. I hope maintenance spanking will soon be the most common type of spanking, not punishment spanking.

        1. Thanks for sharing your experience in growing as a submissive wife. I appreciate the deep trust you have in your husband’s leadership, and your desire to learn from it. That’s great he has freed you from those weaknesses. Submission is bed definitely helps in keeping a wife soft towards her husband. It can also be richly satisfying for you both.

  24. We’re new-ish to this life, but so far, I primarily get spanked for disrespect and defiance. It’s been a week since we brought it back after 11 years, and I’m currently dreading spanking #3, and my bottom is still tender from the last one two days ago. 🤦🏼‍♀️ He came to bed late last night and I wanted sex, but he said he was tired and needed sleep for work. I felt frustrated and started pouting/pleading. Then when he said, “Little girl…” (one of his pet names for me), I shockingly said, “I’m NOT your little girl! You don’t even want me.” I instantly knew that was the wrong thing to say, but it was already done. Sigh. I have a feeling I’m going to be over his knee a lot for a while.

  25. Italian husband Avatar
    Italian husband

    No doubt: for my wife, time is something difficult to understand and respect. A few minutes before leaving the house she always has something to do, clothes to change, and the delay is automatic. Same thing if we have an appointment. After many severe punishments, I realized that it is much better, when we have a meeting for which we cannot be late, to prevent the situation two or three hours before with spanking and strapping. A kind of preventive therapy. In general, this is the most important reason for punishment, ever since. And the important thing is that at some point in our marriage it was she who understood that this was the only way to improve a truly annoying and not very feminine flaw. I also noticed that if there is no preventive spanking, after the punishment it must be more severe, otherwise it becomes a negative and dangerous progression, she tends a lot to settle on her mistakes, without malice but automatically.

    [edited by Aron for grammar]

  26. Most common infraction is harming myself. Cutting is a coping mechanism for me, and as I belong to him, I am damaging his property when I do. Cutting wasn’t originally against the rules, but I pressed him to instate it when I realised how much it hurt him when I did. It’s been two weeks since I cut, so I’m pretty sure it’s working.

    1. That’s really great to hear, Rebekah. I hope it continues to help you.

    2. Yes, I agree.. Don’t be cutting.

    3. Hi Rebekah I hope you don’t mind if I lift you up in prayer. I have a family member who struggled with cutting and I know how difficult she found it to stop.
      Through a lot of prayer, she accepted that she would need medication help and was placed on a low dose antidepressant and it helped tremendously. I pray you find an answer to calm your mind as well.

      1. While I know you desire to help someone in pain, I would warn against using drugs, unless there really is no other option in the long run. A great deal of depression and inner angst come from wrong heart attitudes, and long-term problems in life. It’s not a brain imbalance, except to the degree that inner attitudes and experience finally alter our brain.

        Much joy and peace in our heart is brought without drugs at all. Rather it simply comes through an environment of love and acceptance, healthy attitudes about life, sincere faith in God, forgiveness of our sins and those of others, responsible and productive hard work, plus regular physical activity and healthy diet.

        There is no happy pill. Most of those drugs are essentially mild tranquilizers or placebos. It is a spiritual malaise that would leave people in blackness for a long time, not a chemical imbalance. Most is the result of sin, both ours and those around us.

        Love of the Lord, right living, love of mankind are truly healing, and they would put nearly all psychiatrists out of work overnight. These things bring true peace.

        Please consider. God is love.

      2. Aron, please consider that the act of cutting is a serious emergency. It can lead to unintentional suicide. A change of the heart can not and will not happen overnight, even with all of God’s love. A low dose antidepressant might literally save Rebekah’s life. It need not be permanent, but keeping Rebekah alive and well should be priority number one.

        Just as an addict ought to fight their addiction, they shouldn’t be denied Narcan when on the brink of a deadly overdose. We must save their lives in order for them to work on their addiction

        Rebekah, again I am lifting you in prayer. Please take care of yourself 💕

        1. Darcy, I appreciate your concern for her well being. However, anti-depressants are not the same as Narcon, nor is the situation nearly the same as an overdose one. Those drugs do not turn a miserable person into a chipper person in a short period of time. Often they don’t do so in a long time, but even when they do, it’s usually in conjunction with other therapy and life changes.

          Anti-depressants also come with side effects. These include further depression, psychotic symptoms, and very low libido, or impotence for men. Some of them in studies prove to be little more than placebos. Others are basically mild tranquilizers. Being tranquilized can take a certain edge off of pain, but it does not turn anyone into a happy person by itself.

          It is not ethical to give someone powerful drugs, with serious side effects, when there are other legitimate, and often superior ways to deal with their malaise. Most depression is heavily spiritual in nature, and also connected to life choices and attitude. It can certainly be changed with other methods.

          A change of mind and heart can happen either quickly or slowly without any drugs. A simple choice of will not to cut yourself, with the right motivation, can also happen quickly. That’s something her husband can work on with her, since he can provide some motivation not to cut. She is not out of control of her actions. Obviously in the long run heart attitude does need to change, but drugs are not necessary for that.

  27. Hi Aron
    I am going back and reading some comments on your older posts that I missed first time around.
    I am not spanked often but when I am, it is usually for procrastinating. We have six young children, so he doesn’t spank for things that don’t get done because six kids ten and younger is just a lot and there are only so many hours in the day. It is when there is a simple task I put off again and again even after one warning.

    The second thing is not showing proper gratitude. My husband has an excellent job and we are comfortable in our finances. The Lord has truly provided for us, but sometimes I will find a thing to nitpick or complain about. It’s very un-Christlike for sure and I very much appreciate the reminder my husband provides by physically reminding me that God is providing and even when things aren’t perfect I need to focus on the good and God. I don’t accept complaining from my children and my husband will not accept it from me. This has been a less frequent problem as every morning I read a devotional and take a moment to write things that I am grateful to the Lord for.

    1. Thank you for sharing, Darcy. Your husband is guiding you in the right direction, and it’s very good you can see the value in his corrections. It’s helping you to be a better woman. My wife also gets spanked most often for procrastination with her work. Once she gets spanked she gets right back to it. Blessings to you family.

  28. ReasonableHOH Avatar

    Almost all of my wife’s spankings have been for spending too much money. We use an app to track our spending, so she can see when she is close to her limit. She gets a few a year for going over.
    I can only think of two for other infractions. Once she got spanked for drinking too much when I was out of town. She was home with the kids. Another was for being disrespectful to my parents.

    1. Thanks for sharing your experience. Those are good standards to have for her, and it sounds like any spankings are well earned.

  29. elizaishis Avatar

    A good majority of my spankings have been for time management or forgetting a task I was specifically asked to do. Early on In Our marriage it was mainly for what my husband considered to be disrespect.

  30. Anonymous Avatar

    Lately her spankings have been the result of inattention to household tasks or not keeping up with things she knows she needs to do.

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