Does Spanking Interfere with our Laughter and Fun?

Taking the shift from modern western values to traditional ones, which respect the spanking of wives, will require adjusting much in your lifestyle, your attitudes, and your language. There are things from the past which will carry over well. There are practices which will naturally have to end, or simply become more subdued. If your attitude is that a husband or wife are basically just best friends, or buddies who have sex and emotional closeness, at times it can seem like a bucket of cold water to taste living in headship and submission. Some of the fun you expect will be less lighthearted. Some of the banter becomes more respectful. If you suffer disappointment because you don’t have the same gregarious kind of fun — like two guys from a football commercial, or the modern couple full of cute gender-related put downs — you should know there is nothing to be disappointed about. That kind of relationship is not ultimately what a marriage is about. You are losing something lesser, to gain something great. Let some of that go — even if you still feel longing for it —  and embrace what you have been given.

The expectation of a buddy like friendship is a wrong one to have in marriage. There is nothing like learning headship and submission to reorient you away from that. Spanking clearly takes you away from living in that territory. You don’t feel too much like a buddy being lectured seriously, having to kneel as to a lord, then being bared and spanked. You don’t feel like a buddy when setting the rules for the home, and supervising your wife’s behavior. It’s not something to be made light of either, since the standards of the household matter, they affect our lives, and there is harm if we drop them. The humility and shame that comes with being spanked isn’t in our sights if our expectations are leisurely. Marriage is not rooted in personal friendship, but in the mission to bear and raise children, and model Christ and the Church, to bless the world in each of these. It is rooted in a man’s clear authority and a wife’s submission, two moving in harmony this way, reflecting Christ’s benevolent protection in the husband, and His people’s gentleness and faith in Him as she follows without resistance. Fun and pleasure come in marriage as a purely secondary effect, and not as an end goal. We are on a mission together. It requires hard work, overcoming obstacles, and spiritual battle. It should not be characterized by cute banter, and a lack of seriousness. It is characterized by virtue and nobility, and the fruit of the spirit.

Young couples who have conformed to the mold of the society have seen examples of couples that insult each other, or make fun of each other. They take this on as an expectation, and learn the habits of complaining about the other’s weaknesses, or joking about the other’s sex with cute sexual stereotypes. I see very little room for that interaction in a good marriage if we remember what marriage is about. Neither husband nor wife would want to disrespect their loved one, even under the guise of humor. Often that humor portrays men and women in the wrong way as well, gives a green light to ridiculous stereotypes, and makes conflict in marriage look normal and fun. Why make fun of each other? Social models of this kind of fun also give the advantage to the woman, and while she may be made light of in a few regards, it is the man who is made to look stupid or arrogant, at least if you let modern attitudes guide you. No wife should want to disrespect her husband, even is she plays it off an unoffensive, or very common humor. Husband and wife’s words toward each other should be very different. They should reflect their loving union. They should show honor to each other — as the leader toward the man, and as the weaker sex toward the woman — and care about the good of our beloved.

A lot of westerners, including Bible believing Christians, like to tell men — uh oh, now you did it, you’re gonna get in trouble with your wife. This alone upholds the expectation that a man isn’t really head of the home and should fear his wife. People may hide behind the fact it is humor, but that changes little. It assumes that a man ought to fear his wife, which is wrong on multiple levels, and programs people to forget what the man’s role really is. Men internalize this, and even say — I’m in trouble with my wife now. It’s a dumb, running joke that degrades marriage. Humor about women focuses on silly and less threatening things, like insisting on having the toilet seat down, or spending too long to get ready. While not as insulting, this is a shallow expectation to have of women, much less of your own wife. Some of those joked-about behaviors are real, and a husband can simply correct them if they become a problem. That may not be very funny, but it is in line with how a marriage works, and how problems get solved. That’s much better than inventing little conflicts to have, and then putting each other down.

That’s not that you can never make a joke. What matters most is that it’s not something that is objectively disrespectful, or that you know offends your spouse. It’s not a put-down under a pretty facade. This is especially true of a wife, who should be ashamed of ever dishonoring her lord. It can take knowledge of your spouse to get to that point, but common sense will take you a long way as well. If he doesn’t like it, then don’t say it. If it wrongly represents what it means to be a man or woman, a husband or wife, don’t say it. My wife and I like to remember funny misunderstandings we have had, or the small eccentricities in the other, but it’s done affectionately, and it offends no one. It neither misrepresents what it means to be husband and wife, nor makes the other the butt of a joke. Most basically though, even if you are not sure what is inappropriate, is use your attention and your language to honor your spouse. This will take care of nearly any problem. I don’t think Christ expected us to spend much time making cute jokes about our partner, when He gave us the sacrament of marriage anyway.

I have heard from a handful of couples who find they miss out on some of the attitude the wife formerly had. Even if they experienced problems from her attitude, and desired to correct it, it was an interaction they were familiar with and had grown fond of. Arguing had entertainment value. Some women put a lot of style into starting an argument, or trying to tell their men what to do, and it can provide some limited excitement to have it that way. But a woman with lip is not something to miss. Despite its entertainment value, it is wrong, and it sets off bombs in the marriage. Just as a Christian learns to let go of past habits and language when he starts to live life in the spirit, a couple will have to let go of some past interactions in their marriage. They are a part of the inharmonious past. Replace those interactions quickly with the right kind, and learn the satisfaction therein. There is rich rewards in living as lord and helper, rather than two cutely bickering people, or two loudmouths. Bring honor, respect, and wisdom to your words. Over time, you will miss the old way less and less.

I’d add that not only does spanking not do away with any fun you can have, but it lets you better know how to do it. It helps teach where the lines are. It can help a woman know what border not to cross in her language. She will be able more comfortably to joke, because she knows it is innocent, and not tainted with foolishness or disrespect. It has purified their communication. It can help a man also, since he has seen his wife humbled and in tears during her correction. He knows to be tender with her and supportive to her, and not worry that her words will seek to undermine him or attack him. He knows he carries a big stick, and can speak quietly and lovingly most of the time. There is no threat there. He also knows her better and more deeply, and would not want to ever step on her sore spots. I’d say spanking allows the fun man and wife have to be closer to what it should be — which is within the limits of love and respect.


36 responses to “Does Spanking Interfere with our Laughter and Fun?”

  1. Wondering Avatar

    I can’t believe you posted this article today. I’m not kidding, no less than half an hour before I read it, I was thinking of it. I don’t think I really made jokes about men in general. I’ve always had a respect for them. But I was thinking how recently, I haven’t even thought about joking around with my husband like I used to. And yeah, we do still laugh. But, I can’t explain it any better than you did, that it’s just different. I am just more mindful to show him respect even when I’m kidding. And trust me, with my personality, it takes a lot. I make jokes about everything, including myself. Haha. But yeah, this article is true and good.

    1. Thanks for your comment. Yes, it does put some boundaries on things, but I’m glad you still have fun.

  2. It’s been something that comes to mind quite often at family gatherings, dinners out with friends, at work during lunch, and at home. I am ashamed to admit that in my past life I took part in such nonsense, albeit in a very mind manner. Even so, I now realize the harm it does and have easily stopped. I have even come up with some clever rebuttals that have halted the banter among women on occasion. My husband and I still laugh, and a lot, but now it’s at things that are funny and not people or in an effort to rise above others. We tease in private, and always in loving tone and manner. Thank goodness this is an area that has been an easy and graceful transition for us.

    1. That’s a very good way to manage things socially. Thank you.

  3. I agree with what you say about the arguments seeming to have entertainment value for some couples. I think some women thrive on drama. I feel that the men in their lives are failing them, by permitting this behaviour.

    I also hate these sexist jokes, for example the men-bashing nonsense or silly implications that men are inept or even useless. It angers me that they are so widely accepted. What sort of message is that sending to young women? No wonder so many couples struggle, when the wives enter the relationship with a feeling of superiority over their husbands. It is unnatural and a very troubling trend.

    Like you say, my wife and I also enjoy some gentle light-heartedness, whilst avoiding the disgusting marital disrespect which is so widely seen, and carried out under the guise of “humour”. She knows the boundaries of affectionate teasing, and if she gets too close to the line, then a certain look, a slap or a quick pinch soon warn her to tread carefully! In our 18 of marriage there have only been a few instances where she failed to heed these warnings. We still have fun and laugh together, but never at the other’s expense.

    1. Those are very good bounds to have, and it is still possible to have some lighthearted, lovable humor. The anti-male jokes pretty much need to be cleansed from public discourse.

  4. Epaster Avatar

    This is a very good article. The couples we know where the wife is disrespectful to her husband are not happy. My wife doesn’t even think about behaving like that because she knows she would end up with a sore bottom. The fact that she gets spanked keeps her from joking around like a school buddy, but that is a good thing. We both benefit from her being reminded her place in our marriage.

  5. Bob is pretty strict about how I act when we have people over. He says I have to not forget my place and say things that shows a lack of respect. Bob doesn’t like it when wives act like men and want to tell everyone about their opinions. Some of the wives who have visited us irritate Bob by the way they act. He says they are too forward. If I acted the way they do I would get the strap for sure. Though we have people over that don’t know I get spanked and I have to be careful what I say Bob would rather have people visit that have marriages more like ours. When it’s just me and Bob , he isn’t as strict and I don’t have to be so careful how I act. When we were first married and Bob started taking the strap to me, I got it a lot after we had people visit. I had too much pride and didn’t have pride in being obedient and knowing my place. Bob says that’s the only kind of pride a believing wife should have, the other kind is sinful and that’s why husbands have to punish their wives if they have this. I don’t have any problem with this any more I love showing everyone how I obey Bob and I don’t care if they know he spanks me. This caused me to mess up sometimes because I would tell people I got a spanking and Bob warned me not be so open about family matters because we live in a sinful world

  6. OMG same! It is crazy how much this post speaks to me. I think I have been guilty of having too much of a friendship in past relationships. To correct this in my current relationship I am serving my man topless to reminded me that I am here to meet his needs. I am building up to serving him fully naked but he is being patient with me for now and allowing a small bottom covering

    1. Thanks for your comment, Lucy. It sounds like you have the right kind of goals in mind. Being undressed is an excellent reminder to a woman to serve her man.

      1. Thanks aron! Really appreciate you taking the time to give feedback 🙂
        To give further context, I was serving dinner, drinks etc topless and in panties or a thong to cover bottom half, and now I have progressed to fully naked around the house
        We definitely notice a difference in our relationship for the better!

        1. You’re welcome. I’m happy to hear it has been so satisfying, and helps you in your submission.

      2. I am so lucky my fiancé is so patient with me and he always lets me go at my pace! But he is firm about discipline so I know not to cross the line. I used to pageants and beauty contests so I am used to wearing not much. Now I get to show off for my man! 🙂

  7. Elsie Avatar

    Marty and I are best friends. I’m not allowed to talk disrespectfully about him. When he gives me a command I have to call him sir but the rest of the time we just love each other’s company. We watch our favourite tv shows. We listen and share our burdens. We laugh not at each other but we laugh together. Marty definitely leads and invests in our friendship. It’s confusing and feels like we live in two different worlds but it’s beautiful too.

    1. Thank you for your description of how it works for you. Discipline and friendship definitely can seem like two different worlds, if not more. There is tenderness, and there is firmness, and severity as well. Somehow they all fit together. As the head of the home I find I always place myself in a different state of mind when I need to discipline my wife. Not a different person, but just a different mode of being. At heart it is all coming from the same place.

      1. CoTxGrl83 Avatar

        I feel like this is very true in our house. I can see and feel my husband when he comes in the room and has shifted into a discipline mode. He demands respect at the highest level. He allows no response unless it includes yes or no sir, or an answer to EXACTLY what is asked. I can hear it in his voice. I can see his intensity. I know there is no messing around. We joke and are light hearted most of the time. That is so far removed from when we are handling a situation. There are for sure levels to this as well. Sometimes when we have a plan that we will talk after eveyone is asleep, and I go downstairs and then he joins me. He is for sure not in his regular day to day mode, and it can elevate, but it’s a focused we are handling business energy. I always say yes and no sir when it’s just us or texting, but absolutely in these moments. If I behave anyway except with submission, respect, and obedience he can shift into a VERY severe state, that usually doesn’t happen. I do not typically push back at all when I am over his lap and he his holding a paddle in his hands! The times when severe his the only way I can describe him it is usually that way from start to finish. Typically if he tells me mid sentence to go downstairs NOW. I better go then and not say a word. If I am not exactly where I am supposed to be, he will usually use a voice that I am not used to. It is rare that he is this angry. This is typically the only time I feel aftaid. Not afraid of him or that he will do anything harful, but afraid of the spanking I am about to get. He can hold me so tight over his knee, or he can hold me with one hand on my back and spank SO HARD with the other. These are usually the hardest and longest consecutive spanks I get. I am sobbing by thr 5 or 6th and that is nowhere near the end!
        After everything is over and I am calm and everything is over. He is back to himself and he is strong, he is gentle, he is reassuring. I feel safe and very close to him.

        1. Thank you for your description of how discipline works with love. There is more than enough room in marriage, which is rich and deep, for all these things, such as love, tenderness, discipline, work, and fun.

  8. Newboy Avatar

    My wife and I have felt this way about how men (fathers) are treated and disreputable women are glorified on TV and film for a long time

  9. So I have questions, what if the wife is respectful and never makes jokes like these but the husband does?
    How do you correct the husbands behaviour?
    I can imagine a husband is not in the right 100% of the time, as he is only human.

    I admit I have a problem with making jokes like these and do have a tenancy to have an “all men attitude” and sometimes think I don’t like men or respect them.

    My husband no longer spanks me as I asked him to stop. But now can see why it wasn’t a great decision.

    But I think what bothers us is when does this become abuse and not discipline?

    1. Hello Jess, Thanks for your comment. It’s good you can notice the problems that arise when you do not have discipline. It takes time to overcome some of the obstacles to submission, and a wife needs to be able to persevere to reach that goal. That includes the difficulty of being corrected, as well as getting over her own attitude and hard spots, which tend to stick around. The result is a changed woman. She is a softer, more feminine, and more gracefully obedient one.

      If a man makes inappropriate jokes, or thinks to regularly put his wife down, there is nothing to stop his wife from gently asking him not to do this, and explaining that it is disrespectful. However, a wife is not in a position to correct her husband. He faces correction of various kinds from peers, from other authorities, and from the Lord. If it’s just a bad habit of his, unfortunately a wife will have to live with it.

      I don’t find much use in discerning when spanking becomes “abuse,” because the word abuse is entirely subjective, and gets used in this culture to refer to many different things. That includes a man’s use of authority, his correction of his wife, and his control of the household. Of course, this culture would label spanking your wife in general as abuse. So it’s a purposeless term.

      If the question is, what if spanking is done in an unjust, or too extreme manner, it is a clearer one to look at. Of course, like the question of unjust or cruel punishments from the state, employers, or parents, the question is very subjective. Most of the time the lines are soft.

      However, we can still recognize certain behaviors as negative, such as punishments which are injurious, or given unfairly. In general, I find the average spanking regimen in marriage is only rarely misused. When it is misused, it is not in any extreme or injurious way, and is easily corrected. A husband with a good mentor can learn quickly to recognize if he was unfair, or if he went a little too far. He will learn similarly through his own perception and common sense. Most errors are minor, and don’t cause any serious problem.

      A person who is truly cruel, and has no respect for those under him, will easily be recognized, and you don’t even need a spanking to see that. A person like this generally lacks respect, and lacks love, and when if he punishes, he does so with cruelty, or lack of self control. In my experience, most men in the West are overly soft when they try out spanking, and are too afraid of making their wives cry. They err in the other direction more often, but surely some err in being to severe as well.

      At heart, lies the overall purpose of marriage and the purpose of discipline. If you have these things, no error with discipline will cause much trouble. A husband is to lead and love his wife. He corrects her for her good, and for the good of the household. His rule is for the good, and is ordered by the law of God. He protects his wife from harm, and shows her understanding as the weaker vessel. He helps her to grow as a woman of God, and build her up as a woman, including through his discipline.

      A flaw in that does not mean something is abuse, or that it’s dangerous. A flaw just means he isn’t perfect, and no one is going to institute discipline without erring sometimes. That’s something you live with, just as a husband lives with a wife’s weaknesses and sins, without punishing every single one, and without leaving her. A wife needs to learn from discipline, even when it’s not always fair, and even when her husband has some flaws. It is his right and responsibility to lead and correct her. It is a part of her growth as a wife to become more submissive and virtuous.

  10. A Learning Wife Avatar
    A Learning Wife

    This one is hard for me. My husband and his father are both very much the type to make a lot of women jokes, and since reading this blog and becoming convicted of being a submissive godly wife, I haven’t made fun of my husband in return. Hes shown he appreciates it,, but I do miss the times we used to have when we would spend time laughing at each other or when we would sit and watch comedians for hours or chase each other around. I know we have a better marriage but it gets lonely lol.

    My question for any ladies out there willing to give advice…my husband and I haven’t been on a date in a very long time. Mostly because he wants me to decide where to go but I think its sinful for a woman to make decisions like that. I want him to be the leader. I know this isn’t worth fighting over so thats why we haven’t gone out but is it okay for me to decide something like that? I am asking genuinely from my heart, I want to serve him and make his life the best it can be, but I do so miss spending time alone with him.

    I love that you wrote this article Aron, its been on my mind a lot.

    1. Thank you. I appreciate your commitment to being a godly submissive wife. I am very glad to see how you both have benefited from the new way of life in your home. It shows you’re doing things right.

      While I know you see female advice, and that’s fine, I ask my wife regularly where she’ like to go, when we have time alone, or for a family day. I could just decide, but I don’t bring every decision down to authority. That kind of gets into those two worlds as well, which you have noticed yourself.

      I hope that helps.

      P.S. The article was actually suggested by a reader, who was having trouble with the idea of leaving some old interactions with her husband behind. I have been rewarded by a number of reader suggestions so far.

    2. My husband asks me, too. At first I asked him, “Would you please make the decision?” to which he responded, “I did. I decided you should choose, so answer the question.” Pretty pithy! That was the end of that way of thinking for me.

  11. Sophia Avatar

    I’ve never liked TV shows that make the man of the house the butt of all their jokes. It’s mean spirited, and it’s just painful to watch a grown man settle for so little respect. No woman could truly be attracted to a man like that, which leads to infidelity and divorce. A man who leads his wife well truly is doing the Lord’s work in protecting his marriage, family, and community. I can’t imagine disrespecting my husband in that way, but I can very clearly picture what would happen if I ever did. He just wouldn’t stand for it.

    I hadn’t considered how I’d feel if I was married to a man who picked at me and make jokes at my expense. I know I have my flaws, but it would hurt me deeply if my husband saw them as a reason to point and laugh at me, or to bring it up in front of our friends. My husband shows his deep love for me by speaking with me privately about the areas I need to improve. His belief that I can do better gives me strength. Sometimes his lectures are all I need to get back on course, and I appreciate his leadership and support. Other things are more difficult for me to change, and when nothing but a spanking will deliver the message, my man makes sure I get one. As humbling as it is to bend over and accept the punishment I’ve earned, that’s so much better than having a husband who rolls his eyes at me or complains to his friends about me behind my back. Discipline is more honest and intimate, and there is forgiveness afterwards.

    Marriage is more than friendship. I agree with you, Aron, that you give up very little for what you gain. No one but my husband has seen me raw and tearful, bare-bottomed and sorry, trying my best to live up to God’s expectations each day. I depend on his guidance, his discipline, and his forgiveness, and that gives us a very special, private bond that’s only for us two. I would never give that up to have a “best bud.”

    1. It’s good to hear your experience in the marriage relationship. Being leader and helper, expressing Christ and the Church, is far superior to being best buds. The right marriage relationship is a treasure, and a powerful weapon against Satan. I know yours will be a good example to many. Thank you.

  12. Better Lady Avatar
    Better Lady

    A Learning Wife,

    My husband and I are new to DD but I can share with you that my husband is not overly authoritative. I make many decisions and one of the things I have done to ensure that I do not overstep boundaries is give him a choice such as ” We could go to the zoo or if you would rather do an indoor activity, we could go to this art fair at the high school this weekend.” This way he makes the final call but doesn’t necessarily have to figure out what you may or may not enjoy. This works with restaurants or movies as well if those are the things you enjoy doing with him. I do similar things when preparing meals too. It has elevated my husband a lot without putting me in a child like role where I am unable or unwilling to make any decisions. My husband expects me to handle many things in the household and does not want to tell me what brand of glass cleaner to buy or what laundry detergent to use. I know when we began our journey, I struggled with knowing where the line was and so did he at times. This may not be right for everyone but it works for us and it may for you as well. Good luck!

  13. A Learning Wife Avatar
    A Learning Wife

    I thought I would post an updated comment after asking my husband about friendship and marriage and what he said made me love him so much more I had to share it lol.

    I asked him if he saw me as his friend or more of a servant. I don’t mind being either one but wanted his opinion. We had a very deep conversation following my question but basically summed up to this.

    He said that saying husband and wife are friends is almost like saying we are acquaintances. Only caring for one another when together or doing basic things for each other. He said that my willingness to submit made it more than any friendship could ever have, and his lead of our family made us so much stronger than others that to call it a friendship would almost be an insult. We are more than friends, we are an example of Christ for others to see. He told me he sees me as more than a friend and servant, but as both combined on a deeper level than I could understand. He said if I don’t serve him and strive to help him with his needs, we would not be as financially, emotionally, and spiritually stable as we are. Theres a reason we are in our early twenties with more than most middle aged people, and he said that comes from my submission to him. It enables him to work harder without having to fear anything not getting done or accomplished, or his orders being ignored while away.

    I cried the whole time he told me all this. I never knew he thought this way about me, or that I was so important to him like this. I won’t ever desire a “friendship” with him again.
    I admit I used to have a hard time with submission but hearing my husband explain it like that was so encouraging and makes me want to submit everything to him.

    Sorry for the long rant lol. I know I’ve read all this before but knowing this is amazing and im so glad I found this website otherwise I probably wouldn’t have this view on marriage. My husband doesn’t read it, but seeing my submission deepen from reading it makes him glad I do, and also has him praying about his leadership and how we can become the couple God needs us to be. Thank you.

    1. That’s very beautiful and true. Thank you.

  14. I cannot imagine joking or being disrespectful to my husband. All it took was my first experience with the strap and I immediately knew my place. He is my authority and my lord. He hangs a strap up in a place in the home where I pass by frequently and see many times a day. He told me he was hanging it there so I’m reminded throughout the day of his authority over me and the fact that at any moment he can require me to undress and kneel and prepare for a severe whipping. That is enough to put a strong fear in me and I ALWAYS treat him respectfully. Maybe I’m overly sensitive to pain or my husband’s whippings are particularly severe – I don’t know – but I do everything possible to avoid lashes and always treat him like the lord that he is. Ever since the strap came into my marriage I don’t feel comfortable being lighthearted with him and instead strive to be obedient to avoid the strap.

    1. Hello MM, Yes the strap will do that for you. If you forget that your husband is the lord it will immediately remind you. It’s best to have a serious attitude about marriage, and a serious attitude about accomplishing your submission. Marriage isn’t for fun and games. I appreciate your husband’s use of the visual reminders for you. I believe such reminders are a good idea in any home.


  15. Heather Avatar

    I’ve been thinking about this. Jesus said to his disciples that he no longer called them servants, but friends.
    But he clarified that they were his friends when they do what he commands.
    So friendship has a big place in marriage, but so does obedience and commands.

    1. Thank you for your comment, Heather. Much of what you say is true. However, I must point out that friendship and obedience are not two wholly separate things; rather Jesus is speaking of a kind of friendship that will include obedience.

      The friendship that Jesus was speaking of in John 15 is not the buddy-buddy, let’s have a beer together, and a few laughs kind of friendship. It is a friendship of struggling united for the same cause. He even explains in the same passage: they are His friends because they now understand His will.

      So this is a friendship that comes with being better equipped to follow Him and know Him, not a friendship of being pals. He’s not saying — we’ll have laughs some of the time, and then some obedience along with it. Rather, the obedience is integral to the friendship, as is the knowledge of His will, which they will be following.

      I’m not saying there is zero place to have a laugh together in marriage, but I am saying that having laughs is very minor compared to the real unity that marriage is, the walk in holiness, the manifestation of salvation for the world, the work together to bear and raise godly children. Being pals is pretty minor compared to the mission we are on as husband and wife.

      Having fun together is further guided by the rest of the marriage, and the faith, since the fun will never be the kind that involves dishonoring the other, or failing to respect the other. It will be in love and and seek to edify and nourish the other.

      I appreciate your thoughts on the subject.

      1. Heather Avatar

        Thanks for your thoughts also. I also want to ask you if you and your wife ever play competitive games, like ping pong or mini golf or board games, and if so, what does soberminded submission look like in your relationship when playfully competing?

        1. Hello Heather, That’s a good question. My wife doesn’t do much in the way of competitive games, except the occasional board game with the children. It’s just for fun, and it’s not common for the children to get too upset either. We’re all good natured about it, and try and teach kindness and humility to all of them.

          Of course, a wife should maintain her meek and gentle character regardless of what she is doing. She may not need to obey other men besides her husband, but she ought to still show them respect, and be meek with them as well. She needs to be modest and feminine wherever she goes.

          I don’t think competitive sports, if she played them, necessarily could get in the way of her behavior, unless she took them too seriously, or used them as an excuse to put others down, as some people do. It’s just a leisure activity. This culture takes sports in general too seriously, and everyone needs to approach them as what they are, which is little more than a game. They’re good exercise, friendly competition, and fun.

          As far as sports go, I would also naturally limit the kind she is involved in, if she were interested. Some sports are more traditionally male, or more suited to men. I would not permit her to be involved with those. But in our home it’s not an issue anyway.

          I hope that deals thoroughly enough with the subject. Thank you.

  16. Hi Aron,
    I baked chocolate chip cookies today. Usually my husband doesn’t want any so I didn’t bake them with him in mind. But while they were baking something came up between us and he told me I need a spanking. Then he asked for a cookie, which, he hadn’t wanted earlier. I told him he could have a cookie if he would take it as a bribe to not spank me. He told me to write and ask you your opinion on the matter. LOL

    1. aronhusband Avatar

      Thanks for your comment. That’s a very interesting situation. I would say if it was something serious, then it calls for discipline, cookie or no. I could see a little leeway with more minor offenses. It would be in the holidays spirit if he took the cookie and absolved you.

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