Readers Poll: Spanking Effects and Instruments

Ladies: How does being spanked affect your behavior?

A) I am careful to behave in the coming days

B) I am careful to behave will for the long term

C) I feel at rest with my husband, and obey him easily

D) I want to be close to my husband, emotionally and physically

E) It doesn’t help my behavior at all

F) It makes me more rebellious

Ladies: What instrument do you hate to feel the most? (You can list your top few if you want)

  1. Paddle

2. Cane

3. Loopy

4. Belt

5. Hairbrush

6. Bathbrush

7. Hand (just throwing that in there)

8 Other (please describe)

Men: What instrument gets your wife’s attention like none other?

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39 responses to “Readers Poll: Spanking Effects and Instruments”

  1. A,C,D and 4 all are awful depending on number and state of buttocks lol

  2. –How does being spanked affect my behavior?

    A, C, and D

    A) I am careful to behave in the coming days

    C) I feel at rest with my husband, and obey him easily

    D) I want to be close to my husband, emotionally and physically

    –Ladies: What instrument do you hate to feel the most?

    Well, we’ve not had a chance to explore a wide variety of implements. We have two different paddles, belts, and a plastic hanger :). But long ago I had this horrible sciatica flare-up simply from a hand spanking, which lasted for months and required physical therapy and so forth. So we have safety as a huge priority, which means for me that the area where the buttocks connects with my legs is to be totally avoided because that’s where the sciatica thing happened, and of course the coccyx area high up needs to be avoided, so there’s sort of a narrow bandwidth of acceptable territory. So honestly one of the biggest things for me is fear of him hitting the wrong zones, so anything that’s hard for him to control or aim really well (like we got this one weird silicon paddle that is sooo huge and wide its hard to stay between the zones), but also anything that is particularly thuddy/heavy just fills me with anxiety that things could go wrong. He has respected my concern about that, also sharing in that concern, and so we don’t use things like bath brushes that are super heavy, nor super heavy paddles, and not hairbrushes either. All our stuff is lightweight but stings badly, like our bamboo paddle or the plastic hanger (which is almost like a cane.)

    Along those lines, any of those things can be made into a very intense message just by swinging hard and fast. Yes, “fast” is the worst. Doesn’t matter the implement. Fast is terrible. Full swing on things that can’t go really fast (like the belt) is also terrible. Oh, and hitting the same spot over and over is pretty terrible too.

    —Men: What instrument gets your wife’s attention like none other?

    I’m betting he’d say the implement doesn’t matter, it’s how the person behind the implement decides to use it. I’ll ask and report back.

  3. Ricky Woods Avatar
    Ricky Woods

    It’s Funny you should send this today. Because the item that gets my wife’s attention most is my belt which she got yesterday. She got a speeding ticket on her way to work yesterday morning. When she got home I took her upstairs told her take off her skirt and bend over our bed. And I wore her a– out. I got to 5 licks and she was in tears begging me she was sorry. Too late. She got a total of 30 licks. Then corner until she stopped crying. She had to sit on pillows today at her office she could not sit yesterday at all. I bet she doesn’t speed again.

  4. For how I feel after: A, C, D

    Instrument I hate the most:

    I thought I hated the acrylic-like paddle (aptly named “the tearjerker”) was horrible until my husband bought the Loopy. It is the worst thing EVER!

    My husband couldn’t believe the Loopy was that bad at first and thought my intense emotional response was an act but now knows differently and brings out the Loopy to drive home a point when needed. Or for severe spankings.

  5. After getting spanked I am careful to behave in the coming days. He mostly spanks me with his hand sometimes he uses a hair brush or belt.

  6. As far as what instrument gets my wife attention is any instrument. I give long, hard spankings that are very unpleasant for her. She dreads the cane most of all but she starts to cry whenever I bring out the strap. I prefer the strap or paddle when I spank her because of the intensity, severity and ease of use. I get very tired giving her a hand spanking and prefer the use of an implement. I always bring her to tears and then she will stand in the corner for an hour displaying her spanked behind. Depending on what I have used, different markings are seen. I believe a husband should have a variety of spanking implements. The strap and paddle are my favourites.

    1. Sometimes when my husband spanks me, he will take a break from the spanking and run his fingers in my sex, feeling my body dripping for him. He takes time to rub my clitoris and I end up squirming while bent over his knee.

      I am so embarrassed that I respond that way to his strappings. I cant help it that I respond by getting so wet. Does this happen to your wife too?

      1. Hello Yes, There are some couples who include sexual touching even in discipline spankings. I do not. I generally believe in saving any such intimacy for after the spanking. Some couples do not do it even afterward.

        It is normal to get some arousal from spanking, since it is exciting to feel the strength of your man, just as it is exciting for him to see your body, and to exert his power over you. That is further compounded by the fact he is stimulating you during a spanking, which is normally in great contrast to a wife’s mindset while she’s spanked.

        I can see how it would be embarrassing to you, especially since you are already humbled and probably feeling some shame at being spanked. It combines two very contrasting things, and I think would require great shifts in the mind, and perhaps confusion about what you are feeling. Perhaps he does so simply because he enjoys it, or perhaps he wants you to know his ownership of your body more fully as he spanks you.

        Myself, I would advise keeping any sexual stimulation for after the session. That way it allows your mind and heart to focus on the discipline and your remorse for your wrong. You should be focused on learning your lesson. Since this is the primary purpose of discipline I would not want to take away from it, or confuse the mind about what it was experiencing.

        I hope that helps.

  7. rms8286 Avatar

    I am well behaved but everyone makes mistakes I can’t say being spanked makes me better behaved but it does make me feel closer to my man. He’s taking the time to be attentive to my needs, it’s our love language.

    I hate to feel the punishment strap- it’s thick and heavy and leaves red welts and it burns! I have a certain attitude problem about once a month, I don’t like being that way anymore than he does. The strap is relatively new, this is my second month getting it. Instead of being in bad mood all week, I get strapped, I cry it out and feel better.

  8. A) I am careful to behave in the coming days

    C) I feel at rest with my husband, and obey him easily

    D) I want to be close to my husband, emotionally and physically

    My husband found a clothes brush at an antique store. It is wooden, long and somewhat thin. I dread it when he grabs that. He has found many implements here and there. I think any wood, paddle is the worst for me. He made a loopy out of plastic tubing that really stings. Also the leather off billet he bought at the tack store. Ok everything hurts!

  9. #1 (A) for me. I’m good for a few days but find myself slipping and especially when I’m stressed with work. I’ll be honest, I wish my husband would discipline me more often and with a little more firmness. I feel that will help me more.

    I do feel safer and connected with my husband. I’m grateful that he does take the upper hand, we have become very close since we started CDD.

    He uses the belt, paddle and most recently a leather strap. We haven’t tried the cane yet and I am curious about that one. I think the paddle is my least favorite.

  10. kateoy90 Avatar

    A,C &D
    1 and 7
    My husband can always get my attention by suggesting that he gets a cane like the one he knows is hanging behind my daddy’s door.

    1. johnsonjelena45 Avatar

      You have a good husband too.

  11. johnsonjelena45 Avatar

    THank you so much for your pole Aron. I love polls, I do wish on some old old polls your could summarize the results. Please post more polls.

    For me it is B, C, D
    and 4 and 6.

    B) I am careful to behave will for the long term – I hated those punishment and they did motivate me not to make the the same mistake again. Define long term- to me, it’s at least six months. If I ever did make the the same mistake again it was a much worse punishment and something added too it.

    C) I feel at rest with my husband, and obey him easily. D) I want to be close to my husband, emotionally and physically. I always view a bad spanking as act of love. He loved me enough to blister my bottom. Spanking me always gave him an erection and he wasted no time in getting his relief.

    Over time he used many things on my bottom, from your list belt and bath brush were the worse. My Mother used a switch on me growing up and that was worse.

    1. You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoy the polls. Thank you for sharing your experience. I don’t think I really have time to summarize the results of them.

  12. Better Lady Avatar
    Better Lady

    1. B,C & D – I really can’t believe the changes that I and my husband have gone through since starting DD. I know that he hates spanking me so I am careful to behave in the long term after requiring correction and punishment.

    2. We only have and use a paddle. There is no warm up for me and there is nothing gental about the paddle. It is large enough to cover my entire bottom on each swat and there are never just a few swats …..

  13. Chelle Avatar

    I don’t need to be spanked, just the threat is enough to make me improve my game. At a mealtime, I was a little tired, and hadn’t attended too well to my tasks. He firmly told me to stand up, said that my attitude hadn’t been that of a home-maker, and told me to get the cane. I burst out crying, said I realised, and even though the cane was around- he gave me an over-the-knee spanking and sent me to bed. He got extra special care over the next few days!

  14. D7
    Marty usually uses his hand and he tries to encourage me and remind me it’s all in the past now. It definitely brings us closer afterwards.

  15. songinmind Avatar

    I have a genuine question about starting CDD. My husband and I have been married for over 10 years and have used him spanking me as foreplay but never as discipline. He used multiple implements and it was definitely painful, but it was definitely a mutual enjoyment sexually. If I’m honest, I appreciated the submission element of it but I don’t believe he was seeing it that way- he just knew I reacted favorably and it was fun (despite the pain).

    Our marriage is not in a good season and so much of it is due to my rebellion and defiance and he doesn’t take any authority over me. His lack of authority makes me connect less with him, resent him at times and not view him the way I want to. I want to feel submissive and live this out in our marriage. But I wonder if this could even be possible because the spanking used to be something we enjoyed greatly. Is it possible to enter this lifestyle or are we just wired differently? I have been praying about this as well before bringing it up to him but I’m curious to hear from those in the lifestyle.

    1. Hello Songinmind, I am glad to get your comment about starting discipline in your marriage. I do believe it is possible for you to begin, despite having used spanking for a different purpose in the past. It should not be too hard to discuss the subject with your husband, and let him know how discipline would give you help in behaving better, and also give him help in managing you.

      Spankings for discipline generally need to be harder than those for erotic purposes. The man also needs to be able to lead the correction verbally, firmly lecturing his wife. It requires the mindset of the disciplinarian. New rituals will also help in experiencing the significant different between spankings for play and for punishment. Those are things you can work on together over time.

      I do not believe having success with spanking has much to do with our wiring. I believe it is more to do with good understanding, and with experience. It takes having a clear vision of what authority looks like, how submission functions, and how a correction works. Once you know what you are doing, nearly anyone can use discipline. Other things are important as well, including good communication, and self control. Spanking is not for a special few, but can work in most marriages very well.

      At heart is embracing loving authority and submission. Any punishment will flow from that. I’d be happy to hear how it goes once you have a talk with your husband. Blessings.

      1. Songinmind Avatar

        Thank you for your reply.

        I couldn’t bring myself to speak my heart so I wrote it for my husband. It helped to clarify my thoughts as well as where my heart was when I know speaking I won’t be as clear. I included links to your blog here and he read a lot. He saw my comment above, in fact.

        We had a talk last night about what would work for US in our marriage and set some groundwork. I get my first discipline session this evening and I’m scared and yet feel a small voice of peace telling me to trust that I’m getting some refining work that I deserve. I’m sure I will repeat the saying ‘be careful what you wish for’ many times over as we try this out (as I know the strength of his arm). But my husband is a great man and worthy of my respect and submission and I crave his authority and help in my life. In speaking with him last night I didn’t realize how heavily he weighed this responsibility and actually how much I am asking of him. I’m thankful he is willing to consider this in our marriage. Now I need to work on letting go some of the control (what implement is he planning, how does he want me, what comes next after, how many punishments did I earn with some of the confessions I had to make) and trust his decisions that are his alone.

        1. That’s really good news. I am happy to hear you will be moving forward with discipline. Trust in your husband, and learn from what he gives you. I’m sure he will be willing to hear your thoughts also on what would work best for you. You would not be the first woman to think she’d better be careful what she wishes for when beginning to face discipline. It’s not easy, and it’s not meant to be. But what you experience will cleanse you, and better you, and the fact that it hurts is essential. I know you will gain the rewards in the long run. Please let us know how it continues. Take care.

  16. rickmorganhoh Avatar

    Margret says A for number one and belt for 2. (All I use is my hand, belt and paddle.)I’d have to say my belt to the last one. Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

  17. B-4. My husband only uses corporal punishment on me to correct a serious issue that could become an ongoing long term problem, to make sure that my fundamental behavior is how he demands. When I just mess up or fall short of his expectations he is quick to punish me, but not physically. But on those rare times when he feels that a more serious problem is developing (not just a single mistake) and that he needs to enforce serious correction he always uses the belt. He will whip me long and hard and it’s something I feel for days at least, and remember for a long time, so it serves to permanently modify my behavior to his liking.

  18. C&D are pretty much tied. I don’t know that am extra “careful.” But there is a heighten sense of attentiveness to my Duties and Obligations. So yeah, I guess that means “careful” So okay, ‘A” too. As for implement. It’s the Loopy for sure, with the bathbrush in a close second. My “favorite” (I don’t think that is the right term), is his hand or belt. I mean, I don’t like any of them, so maybe it is my “favorite non-favorite?”

  19. Kirstin Avatar

    I would say A because my bottom and inner thighs are so sore afterwards that
    I will do whatever necessary to avoid another spanking. I am also embarrassed and simply want to avoid the shame of being exposed and feeling the same emotions of the punishment experience.
    I most fear the paddle because I know when I earn the paddle or bath brush on my bare bottom, it is most likely going to be severe. In these more severe cases, my husband wets both my bottom and the paddle to increase the sting and burn. It is so painful and humiliating as he keeps re-wetting my bottom throughout the session. Does anyone else’s spouse wet their bottom or the implement for this reason?

    1. Yes, I was spanked once over the side of the tub for maintenance. I had my back end in the tub, hands bracing the floor outside the tub. We were both curious, I wrongfully assumed it would feel nice to take breaks and dip into the warm bathwater lol. Well that part did feel nice but continued use of the bathbrush stung at least 3 times worse normal. It was definitely a more playful attitude during that spanking and we had fun but it’s not going to be a regular thing. A longer spanking gets the same results without risks of slipping and getting injured.

    2. whippaula94 Avatar

      Yes I do it to hurting more

    3. johnsonjelena45 Avatar

      Thank you for asking your question? “Does anyone else’s spouse wet their bottom…” Yes my husband did like to spank my wet bottom and he had several way of wetting my bottom including using baby oil. spraying water, right out of the shower and several other embarrassing ways. He knew a wet bottom would increase the sting, the burn and the pain. You can find my email here if you would like to chat.

  20. Lady here…A,C,D and 7. Adam spanks me hardest with his hand. Anything else doesn’t feel “good”, but his hand is another level of not fun, when he’s serious.

  21. A for sure. We have instituted maintenance spankings to help me curb some of my impulsivity and anger issues. Those are helping me to “check myself” before trouble starts. I still need the occasional disciple session, but those are becoming less frequent.

    I hate the paddle, absolutely hate it and my husband knows exactly how to wield it to make me regret my actions.

  22. nikkihannahs Avatar

    ACD4…long term reader. I think it’s my first time posting and I have a ton of anxiety, including social anxiety.

    I’m so thankful to have found your site though, Aron. Thank you for all of your posts and guidance.

    1. You’re welcome Nikki. I hope the website continues to be helpful for you. It can be difficult to have social anxiety. Not everyone is built for a great deal of social interactions, and I’m sure you have other strengths which make up for it. We don’t all have to be social all the time. However, I know with love of God, and a sincere love of mankind, you can find a greater sense of comfort when you are around other people.

  23. A, C & D. Belt definitely the hardest.

  24. Tolerating Excessiveness imo Avatar
    Tolerating Excessiveness imo

    E. #7 feels cruel and unloving compared to sessions that aren’t long.

  25. Fluer Avatar

    It’s a mix of C and D for behaviour.

    For the instrument I hate most it’s probably the loopy doesn’t take long for that to get the tears rolling the sight of it being pulled out often makes me take a few steps back before husband commands me to get in position. Should say it’s rarely used though.

  26. A, C, D
    We have two, never used, synthetic canes that I fear.
    Any implement used with enough intensity and repetition will get my attention.

    1. A,C,D… and the paddle. The belt gets my attention too but I think the paddle is worse. It’s so unforgiving and I feel the sting for days.

  27. rmh2341 Avatar

    A&D withought any doubts. I’ve never felt such a deep and special love as I’ve felt sense my husband started correcting me. It’s an honor to be submissive and serve him.

    As for the instrument, he’s only used his hand, strap, and loopy. His hand is by far the most painful of those 3! I have a high pain tolerance and he can bring me to tears quickly with his hand. He prefers saving his belt and big wooden brush for the most severe of corrections. Thankfully he hasn’t had to use those.

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