Online Fakes and Secret Agents

An annoyance that’s normal to deal with online is fake people, including those who intend harm. For the most part it’s little more than a passing bother, but some individuals clearly are out to harm you, and are worth staying away from entirely. The main way such people try and get in, whether to a website such as this, personal communications, or discussion forums, is through outright deceit. I don’t mean anonymity, which most but not all of us practice. I mean deceit — pretending to be another person, or another kind of person entirely, with a totally different life. It’s worth addressing because it happens so frequently. Such is a cowardly, and evil act, and there really is no honor in it.

If a person simply desires to know what those involved in wife spanking do, or what we believe, nearly all of us are open, and you don’t require deceit to learn anything. You can simply ask. You will learn how we think, live, and handle a variety of situations. However, some people put on masks, pretend to be interested in discipline, or already practicing discipline, so they can try and gain personal information, or uncover someone’s identity. That’s among other motives. I actually had a reader contact me pretending to have recently started leading his home in discipline. His story sounded just a little too perfect to my ears, but I wasn’t going to call the man a liar. In a few brief interactions he unmasked himself. He was a complete fake. He actually hated wife spanking, and was just trying to slyly sell me a product. He just got sick of trying to keep up the act.

I have heard a number of other such stories, including from frauds who try and get close to those they hate, and gain much private information about them. People on discipline forums who claim to be married end up not really being married. These days some content you get sent may even be generated by AI, which is getting pretty good. While one doesn’t always need to be guessing at who is sincere and who is lying, it is important to be aware that such deceit happens regularly online, and eventually to everyone. Some of it is malicious. People who hate wife spanking are known to love harassing those who practice it. I would not share personal information with anyone unless you are one hundred percent sure you know that person and can trust them. I would keep details about your life private, or simply change some of them.

Even those who are not trying to steal information, are sometimes trying to make marital discipline look bad. They do so by telling stories while throwing in some of the most ridiculous situations and practices anyone has heard. They can paint a picture of a traditional marriage, and then proceed to piss on it, and it pleases them to use such dishonesty to attack men and women in those marriages. They don’t even sound like real marriages, but a whole lot of domestic discipline stereotypes packed into one description. They’ll even throw in a few shallow phrases about God or going to church as well. These frauds need their lie, and their cowardice to reach their aims, and surely they take some glee in it. Most of the time they’re not very good liars, and their situations sound scripted, if not predictable. The personalities don’t seem real, even if you speak with them over a long time. MI6 would put their resume in the trash bin.

One Reddit post which links to my website for the sake of attacking my work provides interesting insight as to the frauds and harassers you might run into. A commenter there suggested sending, and I quote, an “undercover team” to pretend to want help or counseling from me. I’m not kidding. That’s the kind of people you will sometimes end up dealing with. Be judicious. If they waste my time and target me, there’s a decent chance they will do the same for you. I don’t presume to know whom everyone is online, but if it sounds like a scripted letter, and if they sound like scripted replies, they often are. You get a good feeling for a person when you have a long back and forth with them, and when you experience their life over time, even online. True authenticity is very hard to fake, except perhaps in the short term. But if it smells fishy to you, I’d recommend staying away. At least drop them a hint that their act is pretty shallow.

Another reason why people go on our websites to deceive is less malicious than that: they simply want to play fantasy. They like the idea of spanking, so they pretend to be involved, and write stories which stimulate them, and which will engage discussion. We’ve all seen this kind of make-believe. It may even include some valuable points, and common experiences we’ve seen before. Yet this too is lying, and is wicked. If a person simply wants to write a story, they need to let people know it is fiction. It might be that they still have readers, and it might be that it still stimulates discussion. Some readers will enjoy their fiction, and there are even website devoted to spanking fiction. But if you are claiming that is your life, and it is not, then you are just another liar and a fake. You are sinning before God and God will punish you. You need to repent and cease your sin. The consequences of lying often come down on the liar, even in his lifetime. They also come down on others, because of the destruction and disorder it brings. Lying behind a screen is still lying.

Everything I write about on this website comes from who I am. Like I say in the About page, and elsewhere, I change a handful of details for anonymity’s sake, including my name. Other than that, you are getting my real life. It reflects my marriage and my beliefs. I give detailed answers to questions from many people who write in to ask, which accurately describe my views and actions. I’d like to think that is also true of the readers who comment here. I want the comments to be characterized by honesty and sincerity. That is the best way to communicate, and it is also best for interacting as a community and learning from each other. If you don’t like wife spanking, just be open and say it. Fake stories and situations aren’t that hard to spot, and you’re not fooling very many people, even if they reply to you. You’re not that clever.

If you want to learn more about marital discipline, you don’t have to make up a story, and fake being a different person. That’s kind of pathetic to begin with. You only have to ask questions and you’ll learn anything you need to learn. Those who use fake identities and stories are being cowardly, and they know it. Welcome to the real world.

Congratulations to India for coming in second in website views after only the United States. May you set a great example in marriage for the world.


14 responses to “Online Fakes and Secret Agents”

  1. Thank you for highlighting this, Aron. It is very sad that there are people doing this. I always wonder why, what is their “reward”? No matter what your topic is, there will always be trolls, they try to make you upset, they want you to react, etc. It is best not to “feed” them. In other words: ignore them completely!

    I’ve experienced those people personally. Many fakers tried their luck with me. I have exposed most of them. But there were always a few that seemed so real that I fell for it…

    The problem is, for both Men and women, that it’s very hard to find a genuine partner… While you crave it both so badly… I’m for example a single woman. Not the type that’s flirting around with men, on the contrary! So occasionally I place an advertisement in my search for a discipline partner, many fakers respond…

    On top of that, in my country (the Netherlands) spanking isn’t really a tradition anymore…

    I am very happy for you and your wife that you found each other. And for myself, at 53 yrs, I am still not giving up, I’ve had a couple of partners in the past, one died, one moved to Colombia, long time ago… I wish that again, but it’s really not easy, and the majority of the ones that respond are only after one thing… I think you know what I mean…

    Not only that, but I often feel lost, restless, etc. I’ve totally accepted the fact that I need discipline, I’ve passed that station! Not giving up, though!

    Have a blessed weekend, Aron. Keep on going, despite the sad people that take advantage… It’s a known thing on the worldwide web… And it’s great you touched upon it…

    Warm regards from the Netherlands!

    1. Thank you Anja. It’s encouraging to get your letter. I know it is hard to find someone in a time and place where family is not greatly desired, and men do not want to accept their roles. Avoid any man that seems like he wants to use you. You deserve more. I still trust there is a good husband for you.

      Looking for a mate definitely includes some risk of fakers too. I knew a woman who got scammed on a singles website, and sent large sums of money to a man she did not know well. I’m sure you will be cautious and wise. The spanking world is full of made up stories passing as real, and I believe most of the time they’re obvious enough to send up some red flags.

      I hope you are doing great.

      1. Thank you so much for the encouragement, Aron. I know HE is there, wherever he is! The times we live in are a challenge, as traditional values have changed. The question is if that is for the good, I don’t think so! God created Mother Nature for a reason, and in nature Men are the leaders. Women are not less or whatever, again: I replied that to another comment: it takes a very strong woman to admit you need the leadership of your partner!

        I never accept men that want to use/abuse me, no way! What I am struggling with right now is this: I connected with a man. We met for coffee. And there is a great connection, like friends. But: he is married… He and his partner live like brother and sister, so he told me. And he told me that she is okay with everything (him finding a spanking partner), but doesn’t want to be involved…

        What to do, Aron… We really have that connection, the “click” (nothing sexual or so) is definitely there and our ideas seem to match… But I still feel this is not okay… I asked him why he didn’t just tell his wife that he and I met and what we want… He keeps on telling she is okay with this, but doesn’t want to be informed… Is that a red flag? He does seem to be genuine…

        He could temporarily fill that role… But even then… It feels like cheating. Nothing has happened yet, though… This Monday we meet again at my place. I made it very clear that I want to go slow, invest in getting to know each other before anything happens…

        I truly appreciate your wise words and hope it’s clear what I’m sharing, my English must be so funny to you 🙂 Forgive me, i’m only Dutch, hehe!

        1. Hello Anja, I appreciate that you share what is going on in your life. I believe that spanking is intimate enough that it should only be between husband and wife. It is naturally sexually exciting to many individuals as well, and typically involves nudity. Even if this man’s wife is accepting of it, probably for the sake of keeping the peace, that does not make it right. A married man needs to give his time and dedication to managing his wife, not to managing another woman. The man who should lead and correct you is your husband. Such an opportunity sets you up to be used, and sets the stage for adultery. I would have nothing to do with it. Trust there is a man for your life.

          I enjoy your English.

          1. “Even if this man’s wife is accepting of it, probably for the sake of keeping the peace, that does not make it right.”

            Thank you, Aron! That is what I needed to hear! How silly of me even considering this option… Yikes! I’m going to cancel the meeting for Monday right away! And pray to God to send me a husband that is right for me… It’s getting hard to believe someone is there for me… Let’s not fall into the trap of getting desperate… Recently went through a break-up, the man I thought that was my soul mate all of a sudden showed very crazy signs, accusing me of being a secret member of the CIA… Really! His son has schizophrenia and I think he has the same issue… He’s in the US…

            We were in Love with each other. Until recently, it was very shocking how he all of a sudden changed. There were toxic things in his area, and I told him that is not a smart thing for me to get to the US. Then he started accusing me of not being unconditional… Well, correct me if I’m wrong, but I would not have advised him coming over here if something the same had taken place here… Unconditional Love goes beyond that, if I’d been in his place, I would have never wanted me to come to him until the danger was gone. Instead, he abused it to tell me I wasn’t about unconditional Love… Oh my… Would you send your future wife to a toxic area? I don’t think so…

            Not even knowing if he had been open to spanking, etc. So, yeah, been through a lot lately, Aron…

            Great you enjoy my English, hahaha, After publishing I see a lot of funny errors, but okay, nice try 😉

          2. I’m glad you can see than, Anja. It is good to take your time getting to know a potential mate. Some people will hide a lot, but over time, with enough interactions, you can see more. It’s helpful to know someone’s family as well to find out more about them. Just be strong enough to be single and only consider a virtuous man who will commit for life. Women who allow their emotions or their loneliness to lead them to a horrible man will regret it for life. Being single is a good calling too, if that is what God desires for you, but any husband has to be a virtuous man.

      2. And one more thing: I would NEVER fall into the trap of sending money to a man or who ever… I’ve seen the stories in shows, etc. and was flabbergasted about why these women went that far to send such large sums of their money to these crazy scammers! That is not a fall I’d ever will fall into, no way!

  2. Honestly having been part of many groups and having inquired with many sites I hope a lot of the people I talk to are frauds.

    1. You hope? How do you mean that?

  3. swansong Avatar

    Hi Aron. I can only imagine the amount of hate mail, online fakes, and deception you encounter by virtue of speaking your truth. Anyone can hide behind a user name or hashtag and say whatever they want, however misguided or hateful. Free speech is not without its downsides.

    In my case, I feel like an authentic person to the lifestyle who has been deemed a fraud. I am a spanked wife who has received a lot of support through your site. It’s a hard road navigating this lifestyle as a married couple with young kids, and I do more research on this subject than my HOH. I joined one of the WeChat groups that sprang out of the comments section of your blog, and was disappointed. There was a lot of “How is everyone today?” and a lot of chatter and random rambling from people who sounded curious but not knowledgeable about this lifestyle. A political conversation came up and I made one comment about being accepting toward people and received a notice that I was banned from the group until the administrator could ask me more questions. I felt humiliated and judged as a fraud or someone who did not belong. I get spanked when I break the rules. I have corner time. I love it and I hate it but most of all I respect my husband and how he is guiding our family. I think I have insights to share and would love to learn from others who know so much more than me. None of my friends or family practice this and it’s so lonely.

    I know you are not responsible for the factions that sprout up from the online community you have cultivated. No reply expected. Thanks for the guard rails and integrity from which you operate your platform. It can’t be easy but I guess most worthwhile things rarely are. I have posted as “swansong” on your site but that was already taken on WeChat so I posted as “Natalie.” I hope the administrators of that group read this comment.

    1. Hello Swansong, Thank you for your comment. I’m very honored you appreciate my website. I do hear from a large number of fakes, which wears on my patience, but it’s really unavoidable. I also get plenty of hate mail. However, the genuine and sincere people such as yourself more than make up for it. I love having the chance to meet them, and to help them if they need it. On occasion someone has expressed doubt that I really am whom I say I am, because it’s very easy to also get overly cautious, and to start assuming things about people.

      I hope you get things worked out with the group soon. Perhaps they did not suspect you of being fake, but had some other reservations. I certainly can’t speak for those groups, but from what I know some can provide very good fellowship, and others are misguided. One group link I have since taken down was led by a man whom I found out later endorsed polygamy, and denied central doctrines of Christianity while appearing to be Christian. That’s the kind of thing I do not wish to endorse on the website, and it’s easy for people to innocently enter such an environment, only to find out the truth later. Often if there’s a small problem, just talking it out will work.

      It’s very good to hear from you.

    2. Busy Dad Avatar

      swansong, I joined that group for awhile at one point and can corroborate your description of the day-to-day chat. It’s the same polygamist group Aron is talking about. The men who run it are not Christians despite acting as if they are students and teachers of the Bible. Many of the participants have shared real names, photos and voice recordings with each other, so they are wary of anonymous participation that is more typical on this blog.

  4. Angelo Avatar

    I’ve been visiting your site for a few years (and posted once on my own CDD event, since I’m not particularly articulate when it comes to online conversation) and have found it and the feedback between you and your guests quite helpful as well. While the false disciplinarians, trolls, and targeted hate is expected in our topic, the degree of attacks and organization is becoming insane. I run an unrelated private website and reluctantly have removed it from search engines because of the increasing negative activity. I also help moderate a Reddit sub; many are initiating a collective blackout next week in protest of new API restrictions that will nullify all tools we use to regulate the relentless AI users, malicious bots, and users who spam post their own content. I absolutely sympathize with your situation as spanking has been a delicate topic for many years, and we need patient legitimate people like yourself to keep everything together in this increasingly chaotic realm. Wishing you the best

    1. Thank you, Angelo. I appreciate your encouragement. I’m sure you know more about the topic than myself, as I’m not that tech savvy. Some amount of tech would be very useful to keep those intrusions more to a minimum, but even then there’s no way around dealing with them. I hope it goes well for you in your efforts.

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