Silence of the Madames

In an aim to keep silent during a spanking, couples are willing to go to some lengths. We have looked at silent instruments before. Those include the loopy, the curtain rod, and of course the formidable cane. However, the lady being spanked may be making noise from the other end, leading many couples to try using gags if silence is truly needed. As a philosophy, I like to minimize any tools involved in spanking, but when necessary I don’t see a problem in using them. If your wife does not have the self control to manage to keep quiet while being spanked, the regular use of a gag will keep sound to a minimum.

Since I don’t like to go out and buy gear, I started using a homemade gag eagerly in our marriage. It’s worked fine in keeping her quiet. The gag is simply a pair of socks rolled up in a sarong. Once rolled up, I have my wife open her mouth wide, get the bulge with the socks pushed firmly in her mouth, and then tie the sarong being her head. Like other gags, it is not perfect, and there can still be minimal sound, but it accomplishes its purpose. In recent years, since my wife has grown accustomed to being spanked, and has learned more self control, I don’t use a gag often. She can take a spanking with only a few grunts or squeals. I will still use the gag if I need to give her a harsher spanking, or I will forgo it by having her bite down into a pillow instead.

Many couples don’t want to use homemade material, so they look for store bought gags. Of these there are many, though I’m not the expert. The ball gag is ubiquitous in bdsm circles, made of rubber, plastic, leather, or other synthetic materials. It is effective, and goes on and off easier than the homemade variety I use. If anything, some of the balls are a little small for the mouth. If you choose them, you may want to check out the size first. There are other methods of keeping the mouth silent, including various kinds of tape. I’m not the expert so do your own research. The safety concern with silencing a woman this way is that any gag which did not have holes in it, could restrict breathing if her nose were clogged. Granted, with various kinds of stuff in the mouth, it’s still possible to open her mouth a little more to get air, but regardless, it is safer to check regularly to make sure breathing is not prevented.

The boisterous noise of a spanking is part of the experience. That includes both the bottom getting struck and the lady expressing herself. If possible, I recommend finding a time to be alone, so silence is not obligatory. That’s because I find there is value in hearing the blows of a punishment. There is also value in a wife releasing her feelings fully while she’s disciplined, whether it is crying to the full extent, or crying out her words of remorse, or simply expressing her distress at the sting of the blows. If gives both the head of the home, and his lady the deepest experience of the correction, and a much deeper communication between them. A good hard punishment should make a wife sob, and cry out.

I realize there are some people who don’t mind others hearing a spanking, even finding the idea exciting. However, there is an element in discipline which is inherently private. Just as a couples’ activities in the marriage bed are private, so too is the very intimate act of spanking. Even if not seen, it communicates what only the couple need to hear, which is the punishment and the humbling of the wife. Her tears and cries, along with the harsh reality of the punishment aren’t for the public. Not only does a spanking appear sexual to many ears, but the humbling is also obvious, and it would be inappropriate for a wife to be so humbled to family or friends. In principle those are some of the reasons no one else is involved in a spanking besides the man and wife. Even if they know she gets punished, they shouldn’t be part of the experience. It is delivered by her trustworthy and loving authority.

It is only when people are around the home that silence should be treated as very important. Expressing her feelings as she’s spanked is very good for a wife, and I believe adds to the success of the correction. The husband also gets to more clearly know how firm he is chastising her, better see that her punishment is just, and that she is really sorry for her deeds. Some of that can be communicated more quietly, before, during, and after she gets spanked, but not in its fullness. That’s why, if opportunity allows it, I advise simply planning for time alone, rather than using a gag. I always do this if I need to give my wife a more severe spanking, and I appreciate its value. I would only use the gag if necessary.

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20 responses to “Silence of the Madames”

  1. kateoy90 Avatar

    Sorry but I really do not like the idea of being forcibly silenced whilst I am punished. I have recently remarried and become subject to DD for the first time. My kids by my first marriage are in their early teens and have had explained the reason for my crying. I think it important that they know that the head of house is to be respected and obeyed by all and that punishment results from any shortcomings.

    1. Thanks for your comment. It is not mandatory to keep completely silent during a spanking. It can work both ways.

    2. I’m newer to this as well, I wish we implemented this lifestyle earlier in our marriage. I too believe it’s important that our children understand HOH, I wish my adult children experienced this when they were children. I feel that the traditional marriage and family life would have been beneficial. I was raised in a very traditional family environment and I’m disappointed in myself for not keeping that discipline with our children. We got caught up in todays society.
      In regard to this post, sorta bummed to see it. I wait for these posts, they are so instrumental, but this was tough to read.

      1. Wife Under Authority Avatar
        Wife Under Authority

        I think in time my kids will know perhaps that when their dad looks at me a certain way and says, “Let’s go upstairs, now” that mom is subject to his authority and will be disciplined. But I don’t think they should be able to HEAR it. That’s like having them hear their parents having sex. It’s not something they should be exposed to.

    3. Hi Kate,

      I share with you the same opinion. There is no reason why kids shouldn’t know about moms’ discipline, however there are situations when being loud might cause some problems, like hotel, car, public toilet, parents home, etc.


  2. Thank you, Aron, for another helpful and informative post.

    I would like, with your permission, to add another option – one which is particularly suitable for when the woman is generally capable of keeping herself from being overly noisy, but the severity of the punishment makes it difficult not to scream: Instead of using anything that “tapes her mouth shut”, figuratively speaking or literally, she can be offered instead something she could bite on… It can turn screaming into grunting, and I would dare to guess that the result may even be more quiet than a tape over the mouth. It’s may also possibly be less humiliating.

    In our case, that “something” is a piece of my Husband’s old belt, folded a couple of times and taped around the ends. There is no need to tie it around the head in any way, as the punishment makes sure that my teeth would dig into it well enough to keep it in place.


    1. Caning Husband Avatar
      Caning Husband

      Dear Jenny,

      The suggestion is good. If the belt has been earlier used for discipline, biting it would also rekindle those memories thereby adding a new dimension.

  3. I have to admit, this months blog surprises me. I didn’t expect to read about stuffing a sock in your wife’s mouth to keep her quiet. I feel that takes this to a different level.

    My husband has yet to give me a severe spanking, so I have yet to experience that type of pain to cause me to cry out.

    I will admit, I wish he would give me stronger spanking, he needs to get there. There are times I truly need it. But I can’t imagine a gag. I’d rather bury my head in a pillow.

    1. I am glad you have found a place for discipline in your marriage. I’m sure you have seen the rewards already. Silence is something that most couples need during a spanking, so the need for a wife to keep quit is very important. That means at times it will be necessary to use something, unless there is no one around. Certainly the more severe spankings inspire making sound the most, but there are sensitive women who will be raising a storm even during a mild spanking.

  4. There’s a telegram group for those who practice the DD. I wanna join a group to beggin the DD with my husband and talk with other people who actually pratice it and they’re happy in their marriage

    1. johnsonjelena45 Avatar

      Lisa, you can always message me. I have posted my email on several recent post here. I do wish I knew of group chat for spanked wives.

      1. Jelena (and others) — message me, I can get you in the Telegram chat for spanked wives. We do ask people to do a little bit to prove to us they are who they say they are, because we don’t want trolls. But we’d love to have you Jelena.

  5. If she has a gag, how does she answer your questions during a spanking? Or in that case you don’t ask her any?

    1. That’s a good question, Jana. It depends the kind of gag, but usually it is possible to speak a bit through a gag. If she is simply biting a pillow it’s even easier to let go of it and speak. There may be other men who do not ask questions while giving a spanking, but I always do. Take care.

  6. I usually manage to remain quiet if receiving discipline or maintenance and kids are at home. I bury my head in the pillow. But I would need something to bite on if more severe and like the idea of a homemade gag.

    1. Hi Anne, It’s great you can keep quiet during discipline. The gag is effective, but does not keep it entirely silent.

    2. Hey Aron,

      Interesting and informative post. I’m a fan of all your posts, and being a submissive wife myself, I am interested to know what goes on in other families. May I ask you to share some of your stories where you have disciplined your wife? I would like to know how you do it, as would my husband.


      1. Hello Zoe, Thank you. I am very honored you appreciate my articles. I do have a number of ones which describe how I spank my wife in detail. Except for the most recent one, all the articles starting with Description of a Discipline are about real spankings I have given her. The early article What a Spanking Sounds Like also realistically portrays the kind of lecture I give while spanking my wife.

        I would write a few more of those, but I can’t think of a session which has more to offer that the others already do not. I will give some thought to a new one though. I believe that detailed model from experience can be a learning tool for others.

        This is one of my early descriptions:

  7. GeeWhiz Avatar

    I’m new to DD and my husband is slowly getting on board, I think, but we have a small house and a shared bathroom (Jack-and-Jill) style and we both agree we do not want to share this with our kids who are still small- our oldest is 7- and noise is a concern. Offering a pillow sounds like a beautiful gift for the HoH to give in the midst of a punishment, which may further cement the feelings of care and love I’m hearing so much about- thank you for the suggestion.
    I’m worried about the spanking noise, though, too, and my husband has expressed disinterest in most instruments, and I admit I’m not interested in anything more unusual than a hairbrush or belt, and these (plus a bare hand) are loud- what else can you suggest for a beginner trying to start and proceed with caution?

    1. aronhusband Avatar

      Hello GeeWhiz, I’m very happy that you are interested in discipline, and that things are getting started for you and your husband. Silence is a concern for many couples, especially with children in the house. A pillow can certainly help, with silence and with comfort, but it does require finding the right instrument. I will usually use the loopy if silence is imperative. You can also make your own loopy at home, with materials of your choosing, that can be equally silent. The riding crop and cane are quiet instruments, but lean heavily to the harsh side. It also requires some amount of self control on your part, in not expressing yourself too loudly. I manage to give spankings regularly which are mostly silent, and I assure you it can be done. I hope you both find a way which works for you.

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