To all of our readers, men and women, here are two questions for you:
1: Describe a spanking that was very effective in changing your wife’s behavior, or in being changed if you are the wife.
2: What is the most serious infraction you have spanked for, or been spanked for?
You can find most of these articles organized loosely by topic on my About Page.
Think this covers both points.
This happened a long time ago when I was first married, completely emphasised that I was a wife and submissive to my husband in every way. We were on honeymoon, the exotic holiday town of Weymouth in Dorset. I had been been a virgin on our wedding night and my husband, who has since passed, had never had vaginal sex so he was very keen.
Most women will understand that after a few days I was extremely sore and tired of sex, just needed time to heal and recover. Up to that point my husband had never needed to discipline me and I had the impression he was not that keen on that side of marriage even though we both came from spanking families.
I got a severe belting from his thick leather belt that day, so bad I still can remember it, 45 years later. I have received other harsh punishments but that one solidified my husband as my HoH and completely changed my attitude about sex, it’s his choice not mine.
I have since remarried and he loves that part of our life together, and yes despite our ages we still have a good sex life.
Joan,
I struggle to know how to reply to your comment because there’s so many thoughts I have reading it. You have been through a lot. My first reaction reading this unfortunately is not what you’d probably want it to be, as my thought is, “What kind of monster of a man has no patience on his honeymoon for his newly de-virginized wife to need a little time to recover from the soreness of multiple love making sessions?” That doesn’t seem like a positive example of a Christian husband who wants to lay his life down for his wife, in that he has no concern for her comfort or pain level. My husband has always wanted to make sex a pleasurable experience for both of us and has never demanded that we have sex when I am in pain or sick or anything like that.
Yes, a husband has a right to have sex with his wife, and you were a good wife to submit to him, but I worry that this story about your husband is a troublesome example to people reading here, both believers and nonbelievers alike. Christian men might somehow be tempted to think their authority over their wives could or should be used without concience towards God and towards Christ, God who sees every tear shed by his precious daughters and who will surely bring husbands into judgment for treating their wives without understanding, patience, or kindness. And nonbelievers will read something like this and think, “This is how Christian men treat their wives, especially those who teach submission and who use discipline.” The marriage bed is to be kept pure and undefiled, but there are more ways to defile a marriage bed than adultery, and sex without love and compassion and oneness is one of those ways I am pretty sure.
It is good for a wife to not deprive her husband of sex. It’s good that you learned to submit to your man and be a sexually responsive partner. But the context for him demanding sex with a beating while you are on your honeymoon, sore from losing your virginity and having multiple new sexual encounters just makes him sound horrible. I’m sorry you went through that and I think he has to answer to God for that. I’m glad you were able to go on to have a happy marriage and that it didn’t ruin everything for you, because for many women it might have done that.
Yes, I agree that is out of the ordinary. Normally a husband is patient with his wife if she needs a little time off, for the reason she notes or otherwise. It’s something husband and wife just talk out with love. Not knowing all the details I can’t really jump too deep into the situation. If there were serious disrespect on her part or outright refusal of her husband, I can see that leading to discipline, but normally it doesn’t come to that.
I typically wouldn’t comment on how another man chooses to run his household, and hope there is more to the story, but if what has been presented is the whole story I’d have to agree that’s way out of line. I spank my wife, I am the undisputed head of my home and know that this is a mans duty and right but to be so lacking in understanding and usimg ones power and authority in such a way is both a poor witness and a misuse of the power God has given him.
I am so sorry, I seem to have given the wrong impression with my answer.
Firstly the Christian side. We were married in 1979, I was the youngest of 4 daughters, my husband was the oldest in his family. We were both brought up in very Christian households and subjected to what seems now, strict discipline in patriarchal households.
I was 23 and technically a virgin but I had experimented so was not naive about sex. I fell in love with him because he was a strong, dependable person and as devout as I was. I don’t remember him missing a Sunday service, although I did for various reasons.
It was never discussed but we both expected him to discipline me, that was his duty as head of our household. I have never felt any animosity towards his discipline and although it was harsh you need to take into account his inexperience, nervousness, and anxiety.
When he was killed we had been married for thirty years. I had the consolation that he was in heaven by our lords side, if any man deserved it he did, he was a wonderful husband, father and person.
To judge him or our marriage by today’s standards would be wrong as so much has changed since then.
Thank you for your explanation, Joan.
I do want to add, that no one really “deserves” heaven, but we have received mercy by God’s grace because of Jesus Christ.
Hi Joan,
Yes, thanks for a bit more of your story. Obviously most of us here, including me, have no issue with a husband being strict. It sounds like you found most of your husband’s strictness to be a blessing and most of us here value that in most respects. It was just the particular issue you described him being strict about that sounded a bit troublesome.
Cresta
I was engaging in some unbecoming gossip about people at our Church. It was terrible and I knew it was wicked when I was doing it! My husband overheard me talking with some other ladies at church and that night he confronted me about it. Then I confessed to other times I had fallen on the wickedness of gossip. It was the single most severe spanking I ever got in my life. As I was wailing and praying for it to end, I knew that I deserved every single swat. Truly I did! When it was over I was on my knees begging for forgiveness from God. Not because I wanted to avoid another spanking but because I knew I had been sinful. Now when ladies start gossiping at church (any church woman will understand that this is a BIG PROBLEM in our churches!) I either leave, or I suggest that we stop talking about whoever and start by praying for them! My husband said that he has noticed a for sure improvement in this area.
All Glory to God,
Darcy
Thank you for your comment. Gossiping is a problem, and it does seem to be a weakness of women especially to enjoy it. Exactly where the line lies between ordinary sharing of news, and gossiping about another, is somewhat debatable, but the Bible has some clear and strong teachings about the sin of gossiping, and against the wrongful use of the tongue in general.
It is important to make a clear effort to overcome this sin. I’m glad your husband’s discipline was effective in pointing you in the right direction, along with your inner conviction. Those are some very good strategies you share for avoiding gossip.
I love this story Darcy. I love that your husband takes an interest in disciplining you not just for his own convenience but that he disciplines you to be a better follower of Christ and better member of the believing community.
Thank you Cresta! I am punished much more often for unGodly behavior than I am for unwifely behavior, if that makes any sense. Everything my husband and I do is for the Glory of God, and when I act in a way that is contradictory to God’s Glory is when I need to be punished. Certainly gossiping is contradictory to God’s righteousness. Lucky for us, we have a merciful and forgiving God!
Hi Aron the spanking that most changed my behavior was when I was fist married my husband told me to sit down and I started to walk out the door instead of being obedient and sitting down as told he grabbed me and a Woden spoon told me I did not rule the roost and my red sore bottom proved that so thru the years I have learns to be submissive and obedient . My biggest infraction is not asking permission to go out with friends because I know the answer will be no or I will have a curfew and it is so embarrassing to me telling my friends I am not allowed to go or I have to be home by a certain time ty Aron
Hi, Wendy.
I’m glad to hear you have a husband who takes such good care of you. You write that you get embarrassed due to your husbands curfew and not letting you go outside. I’d like to shed some light on why you shouldn’t feel that way.
I am a 35yo unwed man. I answer to no one except god and government but guess what: I still got a curfew, a curfew firmly put in place by myself.
We all follow rules. some placed there by god, some by the courts, some by our jobs and so on. alongside my self imposed curfew, i got rules like: no drinking on a job nights, eat healthy and don’t waste electricity.
The only difference between my curfew and yours is that I put it there myself. I’m my own HOH. I take on the responsibility for my own nighttime health. you on the other hand got a good man who does that for you, and by your attitude towards that, i’m guessing that’s a good thing.
So don’t be embarrassed. Be proud that you got the whole night time thing taken care of. You know, like a functioning adult. Don’t be embarrassed about your curfew, rather be embarrassed on behalf of your friends, adults who don’t even have control on their own day schedule because they neither have discipline from their husbands like you have or the self discipline i have.
Thank you it is nice to have someone else’s point of view and yes so true ❤️
Wendy,
I remember the first time I told someone that my husband wanted me home by a certain time. It was annoying to me on some level that I had to be home, because as a single person I would have stayed at that event much longer, but at the same time I loved knowing that I was under him. I felt adorned with something I hadn’t had as a single person. I felt so proud of him in that moment, I loved having the opportunity to brag that I was under his authority, that I was subject to his mind. It made me feel so warm and fuzzy, and I didn’t know how the other person would take it but I seriously wanted them to have to wrestle with it if it bothered them and I was pleasantly surprised that they seemed surprised yet honoring towards it, the way that people sometimes have honor for someone else’s religious practice that they themselves might not be into. At any rate it just felt so good and right to speak of being under Him like that to others. It was like wearing a wedding ring, I just wanted to show it off. (Ironically I don’t even wear a wedding ring in the literal sense, hubs and I decided when we got married that a ring wasn’t the way to honor our covenant, and I can’t wear rings without fidgeting with them and I lose them in a week. But getting to speak of being under his authority is the best ring I can wear.)
Thank you that makes me feel better ❤️
My most recent spanking was by far the most effective my husband has given me. We have been practicing domestic discipline for about a year and it has taken some trial and error to find what works for us.
The last spanking I received was for having a poor attitude about a doctors appointment. My husband took the time off to come and support me. I acted out on the way there and was rude to him. He warned me a spanking would be coming and I didn’t acknowledge the warning or change my behavior. I continued to be rude at my appointment and on the way home. Once we arrived back home he instructed me to go get the big punishment paddle. I met him at the couch where I went over his knee for a long discussion that ended with the most severe paddling I’ve ever received. I think this punishment was very effective for a few reasons. He didn’t wait to punish me and changed my attitude as soon as he could. Also, he continued to support me at the office when I needed him. The way he kept his cool and put my needs first makes him an amazing husband.
Thank you for your comment. I believe your husband managed it very well too. It is usually best to be able to deliver a punishment soon, so the matter is fresh on the mind. Being able to deliver solid discipline, and also looking after the good of the wife, go hand in hand.
So I think the most life-changing spanking I ever received was a year ago, when my husband first decided that he was taking on the role of my disciplinarian. It was my request, but he hadn’t felt comfortable with the idea until the Lord really changed my heart about submission in general and then he felt like it made more sense to him as well. So I forget what that first spanking was for, which might make you think it wasn’t all that effective, but it was, actually.
It was a very lightweight spanking, we had a very thin dowel sitting around that he decided to use (I mean REALLY thin) and it stung, just a little, and he hit hard enough to leave some lines, but overall the pain was fairly unremarkable compared to what I get today if he wants to discipline me. And I don’t even remember how long it lasted, but …not very long.
I just remember the overwhelming sense of the peace of the Lord with me when we were finished, and how I just couldn’t stop saying, “thank you,” over and over to my husband and to the Lord. It’s so hard to put into words, it was like crossing over that impasse to know that my husband was taking this on and that this would now be part of our lives was such a profound sense of relief, that I no longer needed to hope or worry but this need would be met. And I was safe now.
The floodgates opened to a whole different relationship between us. I had never kneeled to my husband before then, I had never really felt comfortable calling him Sir or acknowledging he was owed my obedience. That day marked a forever change for us.
We’ve had struggles along the way in the parameters of things, it hasn’t always been smooth sailing. But it’s just a whole different world now that we crossed that impasse and had that first real disciplinary spanking, even if it wasn’t very much that first time.
What an amazing testimony Cresta! I’m so glad your heart was opened to submission and that you accepted the Lord fully into your heart. I knew going into marriage that I wanted to be a submissive wife. Even though I was a young wife (I married just weeks after my 18th birthday) I felt called to being a submissive wife and a young mother by the time I was fifteen, maybe even yonunger. But we were a few years married before I became a disciplined wife and in that time felt that I was deepening my resolve to be the best wife, the best mother and the best Christian I could be. The Lord really laid it on my heart to accept my husband’s firm hand and He has guided my husband’s hand every time discipline has been required. All Glory to God!
My most severe punishment, I’ll admit was well deserved. We live in a fairly safe small town. However, my husband is a deputy for the sheriff’s office, so he knows about the crimes that I don’t hear about. There is one specific part of town he has told me I’m not allowed to go to. I never had a reason to be there, so I didn’t have a problem with that rule.
A couple months ago I was leaving the store and ran into an old friend I knew had fallen on hard times. She mentioned she was walking home and I asked where she lived now. As you could probably guess… she lives in that one area. But, as a Christian woman, I offered to drive her home. I assumed it was the middle of the day, so how dangerous could it be? Turns out, that was naive of me to assume.
The trailer next to my friend’s had several deputies outside it as someone was being arrested. I hoped my husband, and his coworkers didn’t notice me as I quickly said goodbye to my friend and high-tailed it out of there.
A couple hours later my husband came home, and I knew right away that he knew I’d been there. He stood across the room from me and asked if there was anything I needed to tell him. I admitted what I’d done, while also trying to make justifications I knew were pointless. Once I’d finished, he told me to go to our room, strip all my clothes off, and stand in the corner. He never had me remove all my clothes before, so I knew this was going to be a harsh punishment. I stood in the corner for about 30 minutes while he took a quick shower and prepared for the punishment. When he told me to turn around, I was shocked to see sitting next to him on the bed was a small paddle and a belt. He only ever used his hand or 1 implement to punish me. He told me to come sit on his lap, and held me for several minutes before he said that seeing my car had scared him and he couldn’t focus on work because all he wanted to do was protect me. He went on to explain the crime that had been committed and said if I’d been there just 20 minutes earlier, my life would have been in jeopardy. Because I’d risked my life, I was going to be getting a very intense punishment. I agreed I had earned the punishment, and would accept it without protest.
He then bent me over his knee and spanked me with his hand for probably 5 minutes. Then picked up the paddle, and proceeded to use that until I was sobbing. It felt like an hour, with the paddle, but he later confirmed it was also about 5 minutes. Then he had me bend over the pillows he stacked at the end of the bed and gave me 50 with the belt. After I stopped sobbing and was able to stand, he had me stand in the corner again for 15 minutes. Then it was back over his knee where he used just his hand, not as hard, for a few minutes.
Once it was over, he explain that I was basically grounded for the next month, and had to have his permission before leaving the house. And if I ever went to that part of town again, I’d get the same punishment but twice as long and twice as hard.
Thank you for sharing that story about your discipline. It was well earned. I’m sure you learned to be more careful to heed your husband’s word. It cannot be easily brushed aside.
Hi Heather,
Would it be possible for you to use an initial on your name to distinguish your comments from all the other comments I have posted to this blog? Otherwise people will think all the things you post and I post are from the same person. Thanks in advance –
The other Heather
Hi Aron, I hope your week is going well. I think I might have already told this story here. But I was with a woman who’d asked for discipline early on. We were about to watch a movie and she wanted to quickly run to the store to pick up some munchies. She borrowed my car and went out. She’d done that before and I thought nothing of it. She came back, said nothing about any events during the drive, and we watched the movie. Some weeks later I got an expensive ticket in the mail with a photograph of the car running a red light. Further, a pickup truck, driving through the intersection legally I might add, nearly T-Boned her and the car. Which, never mind the car, could have killed her! But she made it through, didn’t get hit, and out of nervousness and fear of possible discipline didn’t mention the event when she’d returned.
Which made it worse, right? Because not only did she act without regard to her safety, and cost me the ticket (which she ultimately paid) and points on my driving record, etc… but by not fessing up, she lied by omission about something actually important. When I learned of this, and confronted her with the ticket, we discussed it and she offered her discipline. As well it should be. I was kind of loving, but firm, and gave her the accountability she requested when having originally asked for discipline. She got it. And a sore bottom when she sat for a few days. I genuinely think that was warranted. Ultimately, she agreed as well. And it did cause her to think twice about some of her more reckless driving habits.
Thank you, Anais, That behavior definitely warrants discipline. If my wife did that she would get a very memorable strapping. It would help her be more careful in the future.
My worst punishment was actually for moving around during a spanking. I still have this ongoing issue where I move around, clench and get out of position during a spanking. The issue is when I do that mid stroke it lands on parts it shouldn’t and I quickly blamed my husband which led to me being disrespectful very fast. From that punishment on, if I get out of position or run my mouth. The spanking starts all over again and if I repeat it, it’s done with a different implement which is going to be more harsh. All I can say is I don’t squirm around even a quarter as much as I used to
The most severe spanking I’ve ever received was today. My husband saw this and has made it part of my punishment to share. I agree with him as I think I could use the guidance from this community and this could be something others learn from.
What I did wrong: Refused to accept my husband’s authority due to a bout of woke thinking. This included shouting at him, storming off, back talk, disrespect and disobedience.
It took him holding me by the arm and giving me a good 10-15 spanks to bring me under control.
All in all, one of my most shameful days.
My punishment:
1. I was made to strip immediately and kneel holding my ears. Once I received a thorough scolding, I was sent to the corner for 30 minutes.
2. Hand spanking 10-15 minutes
3. 40 lashes with the strap
4. A mouth washing
5. Corner time with soapy mouth 20 minutes
6. Writing lines sitting on a hard stool
7. 20 with a paddle
8. I am grounded for the next month
9. I am to be bare at home at all times when we are alone.
10. 9 pm bedtime for the next month with a hand spanking every third day starting next Monday and corner time for 20 minutes every night for the next month.
I truly hope this keeps me from straying again.
After reading yours, I’m thinking I got off easy with mine!
My husband is very strict about who I am allowed to interact with, and the most severe punishment that I ever received was when I disobeyed him and got together with a girlfriend of mine who he didn’t approve of and had prohibited me from speaking to. Somehow he found out almost right away which was a lesson in itself.
There are some subjects that are off limits to me and some people who I’m simply not allowed to talk to, and my husband started by patiently explaining that the reason he restricts me is so that I don’t get confused or distracted, and so that my anxiety is not triggered.
I honestly was already very disappointed in having disobeyed him, but in any case after explaining things my husband put me on all fours and lashed me hard with his belt for what seemed like forever, a punishment that I would never forget. But right away afterwords he took me in his arms and reminded me that it was because he loves me that he controls me the way he does and punishes me when I need correction. It was a hard lesson but one that I’m grateful for, and I’ve never repeated doing something like that.
Hi,
Thank you for taking down the post about the woman that was severely caned in the barn as it was far beyond what a loving Christian man would even consider as fair. It was BDSM, plain and simple, it was horribly cruel and harsh, and was quite disturbing to read. I still think about her.
In Christ,
G
[Comment edited by Aron]
You’re welcome. I allow some amount of variety on the website when it comes to spanking, but I do keep out a few things I believe go too far.
My most severe infraction…..We were newly married, and I was just starting to get used to having to obey someone. I was underage (20) but went out and got drinks with friends (scantly clad), and got arrested for something I will not be mentioning here (but I only did it because I was drunk.) My husband bailed me out and brought me told me to go stand in the corner once we got home. I stood there for around ten minutes until I turned around to face him. He pulled my skirt and panties down, then bent me over his knee and spanked my bare bottom with his belt until I was begging for forgiveness. He continued and started with a paddle. Afterward, I stood in the corner again as he examined the redness of my backside. He told me to face him and then gave me a hand spanking until I was crying again. After he was done, he tilted my chin up to face him and started on a lecture. I remember only a few details, like him saying, “Who are you to me?” And I responded, “Just a little girl, sir.” And, “Who does your naughty little butt belong to?” I answered, “You, sir.” He slapped it with his hand a few more times until I was whimpering. I was grounded for 2 months and would recive a spanking every three days in that time. Definitely a humbling experience!
Thank you for your comment, Haisley. It sounds like such a serious punishment was warranted in that situation. A husband cannot allow anything like that. You should be grateful your husband was there to correct you.
Going out drinking with friends to begin with brings danger, especially to women. I would not allow my wife to be drinking outside the home, unless I was there, and even then it would be in the context of a few drinks over a meal, which does not carry the temptations of places like bars or nightclubs.
Stay away from places, people, and things which may tempt you to do evil. It will help. The consequences of sin are far worse than even a severe spanking.
Why should I be grateful for a spanking? It hurt to sit down for days!
You should be grateful because it is for your good, and it offers you the necessary guidance. You should also be grateful that you only had to experience a short time of pain on your bottom, rather than the actual harm that your bad behavior can cause, which is far worse. Your husband has helped you, and that’s something to be grateful for.
The most effective spanking I have given my wife is with the paddle, usually her bent over the bed or a chair, with swats being given over her skirt or dress. What makes this effective is not the spanking itself, it is in the talk beforehand and how I handle loving on her after I am done paddling her.
When I take enough time, and use firm but loving language and tone, to clearly explain why she is going to be spanked, what the behavior was that she did that requires me to respond with discipline, and what she can do to avoid it in the future, that has been effective at eliciting a lasting response.
The most serious infraction she has been spanked for was lying to me. This has only happened a few times early in our marriage, but her dishonesty each and every time earned her multiple swats with the paddle, time in the corner with her bottom bared, and a trip over my lap for an extended hand spanking, usually leaving her in tears, and back to the corner.
Thank you for your comment. The firm and loving use of language is a very important part of an effective discipline. It is just as important as the spanking itself, and truly steers her in the right direction. The right use of words shows a wife her husband’s knowledge and mastery of her in a way that reaches her soul.
I similarly would punish lying harshly. That absolutely cannot be tolerated.
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