Is there a special way to deal with the worst of infractions? How should a husband respond to a wife’s truly terrible behavior? It makes couples wonder, even if they both hope they never need to face such a situation, or are confident that they never will. Does a husband need to reinvent punishment? Does correction need to be a more radical kind, and if so, does this present a danger? Should we try something entirely different? Many are sure they can handle the worst infractions simply with a harder and more memorable spanking. Others are not sure at all. The worst behavior does certainly call for harder, and sometimes different punishment. You’ll also find it may call for a new approach, and a good deal of work on levels having nothing to do with punishment.
What amounts to a most severe infraction may vary. That’s because we weigh behavior differently, and we won’t always agree on this. I would see the worst offenses as things that are extremely dangerous, or openly causing harm to husband or family. Other problems that take matters to a new level would be serious crime, or the sin of adultery. I don’t have a problem saying that each of these, as well as ongoing bad behavior of other varieties, demands something new. That may be a harsher spanking, or it may be a other forms of counsel and correction. A lot will depend on the particulars of the wrong, and the wife who needs to be corrected.
The most obvious reply to severe offenses is with a history-making spanking. Often it is giving her one for the ages that will keep her far away from that third rail. She knows not to touch it again. When the thought comes into her mind again to rise up, she remembers how terrible it will end. One husband I was told about was faced with a wife who was neglecting caring for the children, and one who replied to him with bad mouth and feminist ideas when he sought to correct her. He put her back in place with a severe punishment. She had to bear many lashes with the belt on her bottom and even down her legs. Then he brought out the cane, and gave her more than a few strokes that hurt terribly. She had to spend most of the time standing for a while after that. However, she was back to affirming her husband’s authority. She spoke respectfully to him. She did her job better. Whatever storm of rebellion had been blackening her soul was cast out, and she returned to normal.
Another way to deal with bad behavior of the worst variety, especially if it has been ongoing, is to remind a wife through repeated spankings. It may be a punishment that includes several spankings. It may be regular training spankings. A woman who keeps being pulled back to rebellion, and who places herself above her husband, often needs many reminders. It’s not rare with problem situations that it takes much more than normal for a wife to learn to learn submission. She needs to learn that serving her husband is more attractive than following that evil temptation inside. Following that demon leads to pain, but following her husband leads to peace. It has to be a repeated lesson in these cases, and the woman will be sore frequently. She will not want to face it. She will complain. But she has to learn through more rigorous training and punishment how good it is to be humble and serve. Rebellion is wicked and only ends in hurt.
In some situations, depending on a husband’s judgment, punishment itself could be deferred. A wife who has done something awful, who feels real sorrow, and truly wants to make it right, may be learning her lesson in repentance itself. A truly spiritual remorse, and godly sorrow, can also transform. If a husband feels a wife has been punished enough for past wrongs, he may choose to forego punishment, and let her learn herself. He may hear her out, let her apologize, and express her sorrow. If the advantage seems to be in her personal repentance, there’s no absolute obligation to punish. Even a wife who did something severely wrong, such as break a vow not to get drunk, may learn just as much from forgiveness. Sometimes it is understanding words, and forgiveness, that fill the soul with gratefulness, and a sincere desire to serve. Punishment, although usually needed in marriage, is not a regimen that must always be performed.
Like with other wrongs, often the consequences of a serious infraction are themselves more than punishment enough. A spanking, in those cases, might seem superfluous, or quite minimal. A bad action that led to a death, for example, brings enough pain to the soul that many men would not bother to give a spanking. A husband should still be there to guide and correct her, and lead her to stay away from that behavior. However, no spanking could ever make up for such great wrong, nor could it be such a deterrent as the natural consequences are. I cannot even imagine giving a spanking for something that led to death, although I would want her to remember how incredibly important the right actions are in such a case. She ought to want to do something to make up for it, and to remember the good, every single day. There needs to be an awakening of the spirit on a totally different level.
Evils such as adultery would lead many husbands to give a severe spanking, if not more than one. However, even though a whipping is appropriate, there are other matters to be dealt with in terms of correction, and in terms of bringing long-term peace. What led to the adultery needs to be addressed. The adulterous relationship needs to be righted to a normal one, or separated entirely. She should be guided in the Word of God regarding the seriousness of this evil, and what it means. Furthermore, trust must be restored, and the normal marital interactions restored. All of this is much better than ongoing bitterness, fighting, or divorce. Similarly other serious relational wrongs usually call for much more than a spanking, and she may need ongoing help in her behavior. It is normal that a husband may need to monitor his wife more in the future, and make sure she is occupied in virtuous activities, and around the right people. He should find the chink in the armor that allowed that to occur and build a lifestyle that discourages the more dangerous temptations.
We could bring up any number of other severe offenses, as well as unique circumstances. These several I’ve mentioned cover many of the options. They should give you an idea of how to address the worst of situations. Much a husband will need to decide himself, and I don’t try to do that for him. He will need to consider the seriousness of the bad behavior, and also how his wife is best corrected in terms of her learning. He will need to consider any unique circumstances. Do not think that you are failing, or your marriage is failing because serious wrong happens. It’s not that rare. Problems are not rare. Your marriage is holy, and you are united with your beloved spouse for life. Marriage survives all manner of failings. Success lies just around every corner as you lead her and guide her in love.
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