She Did a Very Very Bad Bad Thing

Is there a special way to deal with the worst of infractions? How should a husband respond to a wife’s truly terrible behavior? It makes couples wonder, even if they both hope they never need to face such a situation, or are confident that they never will. Does a husband need to reinvent punishment? Does correction need to be a more radical kind, and if so, does this present a danger? Should we try something entirely different? Many are sure they can handle the worst infractions simply with a harder and more memorable spanking. Others are not sure at all. The worst behavior does certainly call for harder, and sometimes different punishment. You’ll also find it may call for a new approach, and a good deal of work on levels having nothing to do with punishment.

What amounts to a most severe infraction may vary. That’s because we weigh behavior differently, and we won’t always agree on this. I would see the worst offenses as things that are extremely dangerous, or openly causing harm to husband or family. Other problems that take matters to a new level would be serious crime, or the sin of adultery. I don’t have a problem saying that each of these, as well as ongoing bad behavior of other varieties, demands something new. That may be a harsher spanking, or it may be a other forms of counsel and correction. A lot will depend on the particulars of the wrong, and the wife who needs to be corrected.

The most obvious reply to severe offenses is with a history-making spanking. Often it is giving her one for the ages that will keep her far away from that third rail. She knows not to touch it again. When the thought comes into her mind again to rise up, she remembers how terrible it will end. One husband I was told about was faced with a wife who was neglecting caring for the children, and one who replied to him with bad mouth and feminist ideas when he sought to correct her. He put her back in place with a severe punishment. She had to bear many lashes with the belt on her bottom and even down her legs. Then he brought out the cane, and gave her more than a few strokes that hurt terribly. She had to spend most of the time standing for a while after that. However, she was back to affirming her husband’s authority. She spoke respectfully to him. She did her job better. Whatever storm of rebellion had been blackening her soul was cast out, and she returned to normal.

Another way to deal with bad behavior of the worst variety, especially if it has been ongoing, is to remind a wife through repeated spankings. It may be a punishment that includes several spankings. It may be regular training spankings. A woman who keeps being pulled back to rebellion, and who places herself above her husband, often needs many reminders. It’s not rare with problem situations that it takes much more than normal for a wife to learn to learn submission. She needs to learn that serving her husband is more attractive than following that evil temptation inside. Following that demon leads to pain, but following her husband leads to peace. It has to be a repeated lesson in these cases, and the woman will be sore frequently. She will not want to face it. She will complain. But she has to learn through more rigorous training and punishment how good it is to be humble and serve. Rebellion is wicked and only ends in hurt.

In some situations, depending on a husband’s judgment, punishment itself could be deferred. A wife who has done something awful, who feels real sorrow, and truly wants to make it right, may be learning her lesson in repentance itself. A truly spiritual remorse, and godly sorrow, can also transform. If a husband feels a wife has been punished enough for past wrongs, he may choose to forego punishment, and let her learn herself. He may hear her out, let her apologize, and express her sorrow. If the advantage seems to be in her personal repentance, there’s no absolute obligation to punish. Even a wife who did something severely wrong, such as break a vow not to get drunk, may learn just as much from forgiveness. Sometimes it is understanding words, and forgiveness, that fill the soul with gratefulness, and a sincere desire to serve. Punishment, although usually needed in marriage, is not a regimen that must always be performed.

Like with other wrongs, often the consequences of a serious infraction are themselves more than punishment enough. A spanking, in those cases, might seem superfluous, or quite minimal. A bad action that led to a death, for example, brings enough pain to the soul that many men would not bother to give a spanking. A husband should still be there to guide and correct her, and lead her to stay away from that behavior. However, no spanking could ever make up for such great wrong, nor could it be such a deterrent as the natural consequences are. I cannot even imagine giving a spanking for something that led to death, although I would want her to remember how incredibly important the right actions are in such a case. She ought to want to do something to make up for it, and to remember the good, every single day. There needs to be an awakening of the spirit on a totally different level.

Evils such as adultery would lead many husbands to give a severe spanking, if not more than one. However, even though a whipping is appropriate, there are other matters to be dealt with in terms of correction, and in terms of bringing long-term peace. What led to the adultery needs to be addressed. The adulterous relationship needs to be righted to a normal one, or separated entirely. She should be guided in the Word of God regarding the seriousness of this evil, and what it means. Furthermore, trust must be restored, and the normal marital interactions restored. All of this is much better than ongoing bitterness, fighting, or divorce. Similarly other serious relational wrongs usually call for much more than a spanking, and she may need ongoing help in her behavior. It is normal that a husband may need to monitor his wife more in the future, and make sure she is occupied in virtuous activities, and around the right people. He should find the chink in the armor that allowed that to occur and build a lifestyle that discourages the more dangerous temptations.

We could bring up any number of other severe offenses, as well as unique circumstances. These several I’ve mentioned cover many of the options. They should give you an idea of how to address the worst of situations. Much a husband will need to decide himself, and I don’t try to do that for him. He will need to consider the seriousness of the bad behavior, and also how his wife is best corrected in terms of her learning. He will need to consider any unique circumstances. Do not think that you are failing, or your marriage is failing because serious wrong happens. It’s not that rare. Problems are not rare. Your marriage is holy, and you are united with your beloved spouse for life. Marriage survives all manner of failings. Success lies just around every corner as you lead her and guide her in love.

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14 responses to “She Did a Very Very Bad Bad Thing”

  1. Mark Berman Avatar
    Mark Berman

    For the most serious infractions I definitely give a severe spanking using many implements. I will spank her with my hand, then a round with strap and finish her off with a cane. She will stand in the corner for a very long time, with her marked behind on display. There will be cornertime, before, during and after her spanking. She will most likely be given lines to write on her sore behind at my desk and if attitude or foul language is used, there will be soap in her mouth. She needs to truly repent and learn her lesson. I take the approach of a ‘package’ of punishments, with the spanking as the focal point. She will be sore for days and it will be a reminder for her to modify her behaviour. This will be difficult to administer, but it must be done. I have caned my wife half a dozen times and she has never repeated the behaviour that warranted the caning. Of course, she will be expected to give a post spanking blowjob to apologize, regardless of her state.

    1. Thank you for your comment, Mark. That is a no nonsense approach that I am sure will help.

  2. Mark do you also after such a difficult punishment reassure your wife of your love and forgiveness?

    1. Mark Berman Avatar
      Mark Berman

      Definitely Molly. After the caning and all of her cornertime is over, I will comfort her before I sent her off to complete her lines assignment. We will not be intimate until several hours have passed. The thank you blowjob she gives me is to apologize and demonstrate submission. However, during the spanking and when she stands in
      the corner, I am extremely strict.

  3. Debbie Wren Avatar
    Debbie Wren

    Why is your site suspended?

    Sent from my iPhone


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    1. aronhusband Avatar

      I am back up, and at a new site.

      1. Welcome back!

        1. aronhusband Avatar

          Thank you.

  4. I am such a wife who did a very bad thing. I have been in an adulterous relationship for the past 4 months. At severe spanking might help me end it, and would give some relief from the deep shame that I feel. However, it will not solve the problem. My husband tends to be distant when it comes to physical affection and especially sex. We had not had sexual contact of any kind for four and a half years when I met this other man. What I did is wrong, but if my husband expects me to be monogamous in a sexless marriage, that is also wrong. I have tried to talk to him about this many times, but he just doesn’t believe sex is that important.

    1. aronhusband Avatar

      Hello Jessie, You know what you are doing is wrong, and you need to end it, whether you get spanked for it or not. Punishment can help put that behavior in the past, but you need to be able to recognize how evil it is, and walk away from it. Adultery can cause further destruction if you continue in it. A man ought to share affection with his wife. He must not deny her sex. However, that is not excuse for a wife’s sins. When you said your vows, you committed yourself to uniting in marriage, which is by nature monogamous. That is your vow to keep, regardless.

      If your husband is unwilling to be intimate with you, and your conversations do not help, perhaps he would be willing to speak with another man about the topic. If he would, you can give him my contacts. You are also welcome to write me at my e-mail if you would like to discuss it further. If your husband does not change, you still need to find your fulfillment in God and in doing what is right. You should not be involved with anyone else. Tell the other man you may no longer see him anymore. Devote your time and attention to serving your husband from now on.

      1. Thank you, Aron, for your clear direction and for your offer to help. To be fair, there are reasons for my husband’s reluctance to be intimate. I will write to you when my mind is not so messed up. I want to get back to what’s right.

        1. aronhusband Avatar

          That sounds good, Jessie.

    2. Oh, Jessie! That is such a risk when either partner is sexually distant. But we have always set before us death, and life, and we must choose life. Adultery is death. Your husband, distant though he may be, is life.

      It is probably not actually wrong for your husband to expect you to be monogamous in a sexless marriage; I think that would come under “for better or for worse” (and possibly “in sickness and in health”). But you can’t really know why he’s denying you.

      I know it’s especially hard for a woman, in a culture that loves to joke about men thinking too much about sex. You smile and nod weakly and wish it were true in your case! And you can’t really retort that some men think about it too little—because that would shame your man. And it would make you look somehow lacking as well.

      There are a lot of medical issues that can contribute to this sort of thing, even if there are other issues involved too. Sleep apnea and thyroid issues come to mind, besides the obvious ones.

      I pray you find peace in this situation and that God will turn your husband’s heart back to you.

      Blessings and love,


      1. Hi Cerah. My husband has told me why he cannot be intimate – he has been burnt by my mental illness. Although I have done my best to get better, and my behaviour improved, our sex life did not. He finally gave me permission to meet my needs outside of our marriage, so I did, but I now see that this is destructive and needs to end. Thank you so much for your prayers and blessings! You have given me hope 🙂

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