Keeping Wife and Home Free of Negative Influences

The influences of the world are heavily against male headship and against godly living. These influences need to be kept out of the home in general, and specifically away from your wife. Worldly influences usually will make her submission more difficult for her, but also take her away from virtue and holiness. The very purity she should express, and she should pass along to the children, will be replaced with carnality or filth. All that she is will be poured into the home, good or bad. That makes it imperative for a husband to protect his wife and home from bad influences, and get rid of them where they already exist, using correction when necessary. He is in the position as ruler of the home to take action.

It should be noted first that man is also to be clean. He should not be setting up a significantly different standard for his wife than for himself. The husband should not be living in hypocrisy. He should already be making good and holy things present in his life as literature, or at times as leisure. His company should be godly, and his speech righteous. True, the man is more generally the one to go out into the world, and confront evil, and in doing so he may need to be in contact with impure things much more often. However, that is not for his own pleasure, but is for the sake of necessity, or confronting and defeating evil. His purpose in life must not be to fit into the worldly and sinful crowd, or follow after them. He needs to be committed to the good, and in doing so will much better lead his home in following the good. 

One area in which a man needs to protect his wife is from feminist influences. This could be in the form of friends who are a bad influence, and lead her towards rebellion. It could be in the form of feminist literature and entertainment, which is most of what’s out there. It is anything that may be leading her to reject her man’s leadership, imitate men herself, or view the world according to the philosophical feminist paradigms. A husband, like in other areas, needs first to be aware in order to protect her, and then willing to take action. He needs to know who her friends are and that they are godly. He needs to be aware of the literature or entertainment he lets into the house. Then he makes judgment and decides what does not belong. He can make sure she does not see friends who are bad for her, and uses her study or leisure time for imbibing godly things. 

The same is true in protecting her from other carnal kinds of thought. He needs to keep out influences that lead her to caring about the wrong things, such as sensuality, being trendy, being sexualized, or following worldly entertainment in general. She will need to separate from any friends that are leading her in that direction. These influences, while not always representing things which are sinful in themselves, root a person in their flesh, and close the eye of the spirit to God. They make self-importance and pleasure the goal. A woman living that lifestyle shows the world anything but modesty, holiness, or submission to her man. Protecting his wife will include prohibiting certain kinds of outings, avoiding certain venues, and keeping literature and entertainment well filtered. Similarly, she will also need to separate from any friends who are living in sin. This requires awareness and regular effort in a marriage, but as you get into the habit of doing it, and become more knowledgeable, it is not that difficult. 

I should take the time to note a few places which nearly always will be a poor influence, or at the minimum a terrible example for a woman to visit. This is especially true if she does so apart from her husband, but an unmarried woman does not send a good message there either, and invites some danger on herself. Many bars are meat markets, and the environment, along with the drinking, place a woman in danger. Even the more wholesome bars, which may include an eating establishment, are better to visited with her husband, if she goes at all. Nightclubs in general have virtually zero value to human society or human relationships. However, even if there is one which does have value, a woman alone invites danger and unwanted male attention, presenting herself as independent or available. There is also extra danger for her going out at night. Places like these either need to be cut out entirely, or only visited rarely and with her husband. 

The Christian reader should not assume that Christian women’s groups will be a good influence. A husband needs to be aware of how they behave and what they teach first. Otherwise, do not permit them. Most women’s groups are heavily influenced by feminism. They will not teach a woman to submit to her husband, nor devote herself to caring for the home. They will be accepting of a great variety of worldliness and follow the same fashions as the rest of the world. Like many churches as a whole, they may water down doctrine, or soften any stance regarding sin. Protecting a wife from bad influences often includes protecting her from bad ministers and churches. If you have to change churches, do it. Bring her and your whole family into one which is righteous and teaches good doctrine. That will help set a pattern for the entire family, and reinforce the husband’s teaching. 

The topic of having a wife in a good church and and a legitimate women’s group touches more broadly on the importance of protecting her against false teachings. This does not only mean avoiding obviously false “Christian” books and videos, but also avoiding the occult. They all have to be cast out. Some of that occult may come in the form of secular or New Age literature, and be easier to spot. Other occult teachings have found their way into Christian literature. That means a man needs to know what books teach, and not assume a Christian one is going to be legitimate. Christians have embraced all manner of New Age influences, not all of them in modernity either. There were Medieval and Renaissance Catholics who aped Jewish mysticism wholesale, and tried to make it Christian. The same things appear today, in newer packages, and easier-to-digest forms. Women are especially in endangered by false teachings and the occult. Witchcraft itself has long been more highly favored by women than by men. Their souls are vulnerable to its seduction. Consider it your duty in that sense to make up for Adam’s negligence, who stood by and did nothing while Eve was deceived by Satan. If he had protected her against the serpent’s false words, he would have saved her, and protected the entire world. Instead, he did nothing to correct the teaching, and passively followed her into being cursed. The man who is rightly obedient to God takes the influence of Satan out of his wife’s mind, and he corrects any falsehood she may already have heard. It is a great danger, and you must see protecting her as a most important duty. 

Some women will have a hard time with these life changes. They may have already grown accustomed to living like the rest of the world, and may hold some of its attitudes. They may be used to independence, to disregarding their husbands, to all the fashions and vanity of life. There are wives that will backslide and rebel when they cannot do what their heart desires. There are wives who will bald face lie in order to continue in their previous life. This is where good moral instruction will help her, and where she will need to be disciplined to help her change her life. Just as lying and stealing are bad for her, a carnal life and impurity are bad for her. Discipline plays much the role here as elsewhere, as she sees how serious the wrong is, and knows there are rails on her life which now she must stay within. She knows her husband is serious, and his word is not a suggestion. He is leading her life. She submits it all to him. Women regularly overcome previous wrong attitudes and lifestyle, but that often comes with a battle. She has to know in her heart the wrong she does, and learn the lesson her husband provides. She has to commit herself to giving up the old, and walk into the new with her man’s leadership. 

Removing negative influences from a wife’s life does not make her life empty. Far from it. Rather, it leaves room for her life to be full of the right things. She will have more satisfaction, and more time to bless others, when she is freed from their grip. Time formerly wasted chatting can be spend in prayer, or teaching her children. Outings with worldly friends to bars will be replaced with picnics in nature with family and church. Trashy fashion magazines give way to ones which teach virtue and faith. Hatred of the patriarchy becomes love of her man and appreciation of his strength and leadership. A sensual or sexual outward appearance transforms into the gentle, loving, and wholesome radiance of a woman of God. Being freed from the past makes us free to live in the present. The wife who is pure from the harmful stains of the world is greatly empowered to live in the spirit. She is better, more beautiful, and more protected through it. 

Having a lifestyle centered on the home is in itself an aid in keeping a wife away from impure influences. When a woman’s life is centered on home, church, and family, a lot of this will come naturally. Much of the past fades away through that method alone, and much of her life is filled with good that way. Once she begins to flourish as a wife, and devote herself to her home, she will see the good more clearly, and recognize evil influences more easily. She will more easily listen to her husband and obey him. She will develop a love of the good, and have less of a tug on the heart towards the habits of the flesh. This is naturally true of mankind in generally outside of the home, as he gives his life to God, but is true specifically of the wife, in being filled with godly treasures when she simply does her job. Her own spiritual eye increases and it becomes much easier to live faithfully. This is in part why Paul teaches that the woman is “saved in childbearing.” There is so much holiness that springs to life from bearing children, nurturing them, and keeping the home that it outweighs nearly any other source of holiness for the woman we can think of. Her natural calling over time shapes her into the woman of God. 

Protecting your wife is a part of your leadership and nurture of her. In the long run, it will also mean you need to chastise her less often. Protecting her from the wrong paths will keep her on the right path and do so at times more deeply than a spanking does. She will fill the home with the right spirit, and you will find you have an easier time managing her. Keeping out the harmful influences of feminism, secular materialist thought, sinful temptations, fashion trends, trashy places, and the occult are just as important in protecting her as stopping a bullet, or wrestling an armed intruder. It puts leadership into practice, and will bear fruit in the long run, in her development as a woman, and in the fullness of joy in marriage. She will be a beautiful and peaceable wife though your tender care.

Note: Thank you all for your patience as I work on fixing up this new website, and as I build all the material at Substack. Your support has been immensely helpful.

Unlike the old site, this one has a search feature on the Home page. I will put one on the Blog page as soon as I figure out how.


Comments

16 responses to “Keeping Wife and Home Free of Negative Influences”

  1. Wondering Avatar

    I guess guys should be like that if their wives aren’t doing what they should. But it seems like sometimes these articles are saying somehow guys want to be more godly than their wives. I just honestly don’t get that. I feel like if the wife is a believer, she will have the Holy Spirit guiding her to do what’s right, just as much as the Holy Spirit would guide the man. I don’t at all see how he would automatically be more spiritual and have to have all these rules for his wife and stuff. Just because we are women, doesn’t mean we don’t know how or want to do right. 😐

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Hello Wondering, All of these articles are rooted in the fact that the man is the head of his wife, and is responsible to lead her, including in faith and moral virtue. Naturally, some men are not very godly, but that does not change their position or responsibilities. Just as a parent who is ungodly still needs to lead their children, and just as an employer who is ungodly still has authority over his employees, a husband who is not spiritually developed enough still holds the same authority and responsibilities as one who is. As he grows in faith and gains experience, he will increase in maturity, and become a better leader. Either way, he leads.

    2. Hugenotte Avatar

      Hello Wondering,
      God has endowed women with beautiful and valuable abilities such as greater empathy, gentleness, responsiveness to young children, and much more. But this also makes the woman more susceptible to temptation. She is in danger of confusing the Holy Spirit with a Satanic spirit. That’s why 1 Timothy 2:14 says, “And Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and transgressed the commandment.”
      It is a husband’s job to protect his wife from such attacks. Even if Adam failed, this does not release us men from the mission God has given us.
      Blessings

      1. aronhusband Avatar
        aronhusband

        Thank you for your comment. That’s an important level of understanding the topic. Paul teaches that the woman is in submission since she was second in creation, and also the one who was deceived. We can also see those differences through our observation of men and women, and infer this from the creation passages, and other scriptures. There is something in our basic natures which is connected to man’s headship and woman’s submission. Those natures do not change.

    3. There’s a lot to be said about guarding your heart and your home. And I think this is so individualized to each couple. I have a ministry wear I rub shoulders with people daily who have unashamed hatred for my faith and politics. It’s a lot but there is so much grace too. These people have taught me so much about my faith. They come up with the most wild excuses for their sin. Some of it is hard to wrap your mind around but it’s never anything you’ve heard in Sunday school. So it pushes you to learn new things about the Word. All this to say, when God calls a woman to be a light in a lost place there is grace for it. These people make poor role models but they make great refiner’s fire. There’s also a practical element here too. There are lost people in our churches. But most of them are in the world. While, men especially in church leadership have the opportunity to minister to a mixed crowd, there are a lot of settings where it’s more proper for a woman to share with a woman. There are so many confused and hurting women who really need a mature Christian friend. I love these moms that faithfully disciple their kids. And some women never had that. They need Jesus too. There’s such a place for women who just got saved to be immersed in discipleship setting. And I think the best discipleship programs pour into their people so their people can pour out to others.

    4. Hi Wondering! Mostly the Holy Spirit guides you through the words of your husband. Whether or not he is good, or even a believer. I don’t mean everything he says or does, or that he’s always right, but you can tell if you’re listening. And I think if you follow your husband as an act of following God, God honors that as righteousness, and we can count on the promise that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.

      1. Vous avez raison,si le mari guide son épouse de manière chrétienne en s oubliant lui même cela plaît au très haut,malheureusement beaucoup d homme cherche à diriger leur femme d une manière égoïste et pour leur bon plaisir et là je ne suis pas certaine que ce soit le saint esprit qui les inspire!
        C est à nous en tant qu épouse d être capable de les guider aussi par notre exemple.

        Online Translation: You are right, if the husband guides his wife in a Christian way by forgetting himself it pleases the Most High, unfortunately many men try to rule their wives in a selfish way and for their own pleasure and here I am not sure that it is the Holy Spirit who inspires them! It is up to us as a bride to be able to guide them by our example as well.

        1. aronhusband Avatar
          aronhusband

          Thank you for your comment. I am happy to have a French-speaking visitor to this website. I’m happy you can see that the husband’s leadership must be benevolent, and show concern for the needs of others. Men who make their position about their own selfish gains are misguided. The wife also must sincerely care for the good of her husband, and as you say, be a good example of holiness for him. There is nothing more precious and beautiful than godly femininity. Each of them is guided by love of God and love of their spouse.

  2. Hugenotte's wife Avatar
    Hugenotte’s wife

    Hello Aron,
    I have been a quiet reader of your blog for about 2 years. I am very pleased and grateful for your service. My husband and I live in Germany and have been a couple for 41 years. Unfortunately I have the impression that we live the only German CDD marriage. With the birth of our first child, I started to live feminist and stubbornly. Unfortunately, the church was the cause of my negative change. For example, I was taught that his wife’s man must also submit, this was justified with Ephesians 5, 21. Or that a woman should only obey her husband if he loves her as well as Christ loves his church. But since every man is an imperfect sinner, a woman doesn’t need to obey her husband. Masculinity is convicted as toxic and sinfully. Even after decades of search, we found no biblical church in relation to before. It was only after many years of the rebellion that I was able to gradually become a good wife through God’s intervention and the help of my husband.
    Best regards

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Hello, I am very happy you have seen the light. Often that means ignoring what you have been told for many years. It takes a lot of humility and real devotion to unlearn those things.

      The churches have also absorbed the attitudes and philosophies of the world, and they have become among the worst enemies of Christ that exist. That is why we have God’s Word, and the Hold Spirit with us, because any pastor, or many pastors, can always be wrong.

      The Bible never teaches a man to submit to his wife. It DOES teach in clear language, multiple times, that a wife must submit to her husband. It says submit and obey. It never calls the wife the head of her husband, but it DOES call the husband the head of his wife, comparable to Christ’s headship over the Church, and the Father’s headship over Christ, which each represent authority. The woman’s subjection to her husband is furthermore, in two different chapters, placed in a list of others who are also subject to authority, including children to parents and servants to masters. Her submission is very clear in Scripture.

      Verse 21 is grossly misused by feminists, and is speaking to the entire congregation. Just read the several verses BEFORE it and you will see the whole congregation is being addressed. Would you think those several previous verses are speaking only of husband and wife? The section which is uniquely about wives starts with “Wives submit.” This should be very obvious.

      Continue to grow in the Lord and I know you will be a bright example to other women of what real womanhood is. THey will learn from your example. I appreciate the courage and faith it has taken to leave behind past beliefs. Living in faithfulness, you are now a vessel in God’s hands. Even in Germany I know you are not alone.

      Be blessed.

    2. Greetings Hugenotte’s wife!
      I personally know “the only CDD couple in England” and “the only CDD couple in France” and if I might get to know you, then I can add “the only CDD couple in Germany” to this esteemed collection.

      (It did turn out not to be the real situation in the British case, because I now know the only *two* CDD couples in England.)

      This is all meant with some degree of jest. But anyway, if you want to know the other couples, I can connect y’all.

      1. Hugenotte's wife Avatar
        Hugenotte’s wife

        Hello Cresta,
        Thank you very much for your lovely message.
        For a long time I have wanted to have contact with women who live with CDD.
        How can you connect us? I don’t have a smartphone, is there another way we can communicate?
        Don’t worry, I’m not an Amish, fridge, washing machine everything is available, but my rotary phone can’t do WhatsApp.
        Greetings Huguenot’s wife

    3. Hello Hugenotte’s wife,

      Regarding the thought that a woman needn’t obey her husband unless he loves her perfectly…should a man only love his wife if she is perfectly obedient?

      Goes both ways. 🙂

      Blessings and love,

      Cerah

  3. My husband keeping me safe from negative influences is one of the things that I appreciate most about him. Things are so much harder now with social media, feminism and a more secular society.

    My husband is very strict about who I socialize with, and also has controls to limit what television and internet I can access. He informs me about what I need to know so that I don’t get poisoned by subjects and viewpoints that are unhealthy. Sometimes it is frustrating but I am grateful not to suffer from anxiety and stress that comes from exposure to toxic things like politics and crazy culture issues.
    If we are in a group and some subjects come up I know to keep silent, and sometimes my husband will even send me away. But at the end of the day it’s for my own good and for peace of mind.

  4. Nicole Linn Avatar
    Nicole Linn

    Aron

    Good article and also great responses. I am so glad you are back up and running.

    If you still have a mailing list you can add me again
    nicolelinn45@yahoo.com

    Merry Christmas
    Nic

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Thank you. Welcome back. If I can figure out how mailings work on this website, I will add you.

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