The influences of the world are heavily against male headship and against godly living. These influences need to be kept out of the home in general, and specifically away from your wife. Worldly influences usually will make her submission more difficult for her, but also take her away from virtue and holiness. The very purity she should express, and she should pass along to the children, will be replaced with carnality or filth. All that she is will be poured into the home, good or bad. That makes it imperative for a husband to protect his wife and home from bad influences, and get rid of them where they already exist, using correction when necessary. He is in the position as ruler of the home to take action.
It should be noted first that man is also to be clean. He should not be setting up a significantly different standard for his wife than for himself. The husband should not be living in hypocrisy. He should already be making good and holy things present in his life as literature, or at times as leisure. His company should be godly, and his speech righteous. True, the man is more generally the one to go out into the world, and confront evil, and in doing so he may need to be in contact with impure things much more often. However, that is not for his own pleasure, but is for the sake of necessity, or confronting and defeating evil. His purpose in life must not be to fit into the worldly and sinful crowd, or follow after them. He needs to be committed to the good, and in doing so will much better lead his home in following the good.
One area in which a man needs to protect his wife is from feminist influences. This could be in the form of friends who are a bad influence, and lead her towards rebellion. It could be in the form of feminist literature and entertainment, which is most of what’s out there. It is anything that may be leading her to reject her man’s leadership, imitate men herself, or view the world according to the philosophical feminist paradigms. A husband, like in other areas, needs first to be aware in order to protect her, and then willing to take action. He needs to know who her friends are and that they are godly. He needs to be aware of the literature or entertainment he lets into the house. Then he makes judgment and decides what does not belong. He can make sure she does not see friends who are bad for her, and uses her study or leisure time for imbibing godly things.
The same is true in protecting her from other carnal kinds of thought. He needs to keep out influences that lead her to caring about the wrong things, such as sensuality, being trendy, being sexualized, or following worldly entertainment in general. She will need to separate from any friends that are leading her in that direction. These influences, while not always representing things which are sinful in themselves, root a person in their flesh, and close the eye of the spirit to God. They make self-importance and pleasure the goal. A woman living that lifestyle shows the world anything but modesty, holiness, or submission to her man. Protecting his wife will include prohibiting certain kinds of outings, avoiding certain venues, and keeping literature and entertainment well filtered. Similarly, she will also need to separate from any friends who are living in sin. This requires awareness and regular effort in a marriage, but as you get into the habit of doing it, and become more knowledgeable, it is not that difficult.
I should take the time to note a few places which nearly always will be a poor influence, or at the minimum a terrible example for a woman to visit. This is especially true if she does so apart from her husband, but an unmarried woman does not send a good message there either, and invites some danger on herself. Many bars are meat markets, and the environment, along with the drinking, place a woman in danger. Even the more wholesome bars, which may include an eating establishment, are better to visited with her husband, if she goes at all. Nightclubs in general have virtually zero value to human society or human relationships. However, even if there is one which does have value, a woman alone invites danger and unwanted male attention, presenting herself as independent or available. There is also extra danger for her going out at night. Places like these either need to be cut out entirely, or only visited rarely and with her husband.
The Christian reader should not assume that Christian women’s groups will be a good influence. A husband needs to be aware of how they behave and what they teach first. Otherwise, do not permit them. Most women’s groups are heavily influenced by feminism. They will not teach a woman to submit to her husband, nor devote herself to caring for the home. They will be accepting of a great variety of worldliness and follow the same fashions as the rest of the world. Like many churches as a whole, they may water down doctrine, or soften any stance regarding sin. Protecting a wife from bad influences often includes protecting her from bad ministers and churches. If you have to change churches, do it. Bring her and your whole family into one which is righteous and teaches good doctrine. That will help set a pattern for the entire family, and reinforce the husband’s teaching.
The topic of having a wife in a good church and and a legitimate women’s group touches more broadly on the importance of protecting her against false teachings. This does not only mean avoiding obviously false “Christian” books and videos, but also avoiding the occult. They all have to be cast out. Some of that occult may come in the form of secular or New Age literature, and be easier to spot. Other occult teachings have found their way into Christian literature. That means a man needs to know what books teach, and not assume a Christian one is going to be legitimate. Christians have embraced all manner of New Age influences, not all of them in modernity either. There were Medieval and Renaissance Catholics who aped Jewish mysticism wholesale, and tried to make it Christian. The same things appear today, in newer packages, and easier-to-digest forms. Women are especially in endangered by false teachings and the occult. Witchcraft itself has long been more highly favored by women than by men. Their souls are vulnerable to its seduction. Consider it your duty in that sense to make up for Adam’s negligence, who stood by and did nothing while Eve was deceived by Satan. If he had protected her against the serpent’s false words, he would have saved her, and protected the entire world. Instead, he did nothing to correct the teaching, and passively followed her into being cursed. The man who is rightly obedient to God takes the influence of Satan out of his wife’s mind, and he corrects any falsehood she may already have heard. It is a great danger, and you must see protecting her as a most important duty.
Some women will have a hard time with these life changes. They may have already grown accustomed to living like the rest of the world, and may hold some of its attitudes. They may be used to independence, to disregarding their husbands, to all the fashions and vanity of life. There are wives that will backslide and rebel when they cannot do what their heart desires. There are wives who will bald face lie in order to continue in their previous life. This is where good moral instruction will help her, and where she will need to be disciplined to help her change her life. Just as lying and stealing are bad for her, a carnal life and impurity are bad for her. Discipline plays much the role here as elsewhere, as she sees how serious the wrong is, and knows there are rails on her life which now she must stay within. She knows her husband is serious, and his word is not a suggestion. He is leading her life. She submits it all to him. Women regularly overcome previous wrong attitudes and lifestyle, but that often comes with a battle. She has to know in her heart the wrong she does, and learn the lesson her husband provides. She has to commit herself to giving up the old, and walk into the new with her man’s leadership.
Removing negative influences from a wife’s life does not make her life empty. Far from it. Rather, it leaves room for her life to be full of the right things. She will have more satisfaction, and more time to bless others, when she is freed from their grip. Time formerly wasted chatting can be spend in prayer, or teaching her children. Outings with worldly friends to bars will be replaced with picnics in nature with family and church. Trashy fashion magazines give way to ones which teach virtue and faith. Hatred of the patriarchy becomes love of her man and appreciation of his strength and leadership. A sensual or sexual outward appearance transforms into the gentle, loving, and wholesome radiance of a woman of God. Being freed from the past makes us free to live in the present. The wife who is pure from the harmful stains of the world is greatly empowered to live in the spirit. She is better, more beautiful, and more protected through it.
Having a lifestyle centered on the home is in itself an aid in keeping a wife away from impure influences. When a woman’s life is centered on home, church, and family, a lot of this will come naturally. Much of the past fades away through that method alone, and much of her life is filled with good that way. Once she begins to flourish as a wife, and devote herself to her home, she will see the good more clearly, and recognize evil influences more easily. She will more easily listen to her husband and obey him. She will develop a love of the good, and have less of a tug on the heart towards the habits of the flesh. This is naturally true of mankind in generally outside of the home, as he gives his life to God, but is true specifically of the wife, in being filled with godly treasures when she simply does her job. Her own spiritual eye increases and it becomes much easier to live faithfully. This is in part why Paul teaches that the woman is “saved in childbearing.” There is so much holiness that springs to life from bearing children, nurturing them, and keeping the home that it outweighs nearly any other source of holiness for the woman we can think of. Her natural calling over time shapes her into the woman of God.
Protecting your wife is a part of your leadership and nurture of her. In the long run, it will also mean you need to chastise her less often. Protecting her from the wrong paths will keep her on the right path and do so at times more deeply than a spanking does. She will fill the home with the right spirit, and you will find you have an easier time managing her. Keeping out the harmful influences of feminism, secular materialist thought, sinful temptations, fashion trends, trashy places, and the occult are just as important in protecting her as stopping a bullet, or wrestling an armed intruder. It puts leadership into practice, and will bear fruit in the long run, in her development as a woman, and in the fullness of joy in marriage. She will be a beautiful and peaceable wife though your tender care.
Note: Thank you all for your patience as I work on fixing up this new website, and as I build all the material at Substack. Your support has been immensely helpful.
Unlike the old site, this one has a search feature on the Home page. I will put one on the Blog page as soon as I figure out how.
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