When She Tries to Get Out of a Spanking

It is a natural human reaction to try and make excuses for our behavior. It is an uncomfortable thing for the cold light of day to shine on our wrongs. Just think of your own reaction when you’ve been guilty in the past. It is universal. We see how mankind tries to twist the truth, and escape from the truth from Genesis 3, when Eve tries to make God’s words sound much more difficult than they actually were to justify her sin, and then both Adam and Eve manage to blame someone else for a wrong they were responsible for. Adam subtly blames God who made him, saying “the woman YOU gave me” gave me this fruit to eat. So to Adam it was anyone’s fault but his own, including God’s.

When you bring your wife’s attention to a wrong she’s done, and the coming spanking you’ll be giving her, be prepared that she may go the route of making excuses. Not always, but it happens sometimes. My wife is very devoted to me, and to her role, but she does not like to face a punishment, and will sometimes do the same thing. You need to make it clear that you will not accept excuses for her wrong, and that she cannot talk her way out of what’s coming.

I’d say in all our years of marriage, I have only cancelled a coming discipline one time, because I learned it was based wholly on false information. It was simply unfounded. In all other instances, my wife has found that excuses benefit her nothing. However, I believe it is good to give a wife a chance to explain herself fully. I find it’s fair. Some wives simply want to explain why they ended up doing the wrong, even though they knew it was wrong, and they fully accept the coming punishment. They just want to explain their actions, and get it off their chest. Maybe even say they are sorry from the start.

However, excuses are different, as they are an attempt to escape from the guilt itself. They look for any clever argument to deflect guilt. They usually come in the same forms over and over — an attempt to draw attention to a minor detail rather than the main issue, to make a wrong sound much smaller than it is, to blame someone else for their actions, or to make themselves sound as if they might have been unknowing when they obviously knew. If you run a good discipline system in your house, you will not accept excuses.

You can let your wife explain herself, but if she is making excuses, show her clearly why those excuses don’t add up to anything. It was wrong and she knows it was wrong. Let her see this clearly, then the conversation is over. Not long ago I let my wife know about a coming talk we would have to have. It was for her irresponsibility in a matter I’d told her about multiple times. Her attempted escape was that I just hadn’t given her enough details or explanation in how she should do things, and that’s why they were never done. I pointed out to her the problem with this reasoning: she knew what she had to do. I even reminded her of it later. The fact I didn’t provide many details was not instrumental at all. The details were up to her, and if she really didn’t know, she could have asked me.

I said to her: Did you know you had to do that? She answered yes. Did I remind you of it later? Yes, you did. Were my words unclear or impossible to carry out? No, they weren’t. My wife knew her own wrong and was only making excuses, and with that I let her know my judgment was fair, and she had willfully chosen to ignore my commands. She would be corrected later. I believe in taking some of that time to explain a matter. That’s because I want her to know she is responsible for what is coming. It is her actions that led to her punishment. When she is over my knee after our conversation, and crying as she endures a spanking, she knows there is no one to blame but herself.

I’m not saying you need to give endless explanations. Some women might really push it in terms of argument, and you will just need to end the conversation. However, taking the time to explain, and to explain away any excuses she puts out, is important in the correction process. It helps her to see her own responsibility; how she stepped out from under your wing, and needs to be brought back under it. How she made a conscious choice to disobey, despite knowing what to do. Then she will see better why you are correcting her. I believe that will make the correction more effective.

Another attempt to avoid a coming spanking may be tears. It is natural, and usually helpful to a woman for her to shed tears. As the head of the home you simply cannot let this affect your decision. Your decision to give discipline is based on your rules and her behavior. Feelings should not be swaying you either way here. A wife facing a spanking may be crying because of real regret for her bad actions. It might be because of her shame at being spoken to critically and punished. It might be at having to be humbled from her pride. Let her cry if she needs to, give her some comfort and assurance, but explain to her you are her man and are responsible for correcting her. She is going to have to accept your guidance and discipline.

The last time my wife responded with tears to our upcoming talk, I let her know several things: I am her man and always love her. I am the same person that cares for her, protects her, makes love to her, honors her every day. I am also the one responsible for her and she is under my authority. She needs to accept that correction and learn from it. She needs to face up to the wrong that she did, and and accept a correction. I love her, guide her, teach her, and correct her. She needs to follow me. I am her man. She is under me. My wife calmed down from her tears and quieted, and accepted that she would soon just need to face it. And I respect the courage that takes. Her tears were not some overwhelming horror. They were a natural process of coming to terms with her wrong, and facing something difficult she needed to go through. They also gave me the opportunity to explain things important to her, both about my love and my leadership. Later she went upstairs, prepared herself to spanked, and put herself over my lap.

Therefore, do not be moved by tears or by excuses. Keep focused on the truth, and the simple fact you are disciplining her for an infraction, and she brought that upon herself. Like resistance during a punishment, it needs to be overcome. She is going through this because of her own actions. Her tears can be very good for her. So can hearing calmly that she knows she did wrong and will not be able to talk her way out of it. She will be cleansed when she is done crying. Be calm, kind, firm, and correct her.


6 responses to “When She Tries to Get Out of a Spanking”

  1. […] her firm, or having a long talk, you overcome her resistance every time. The same is true her excuses for bad behavior. It is not her place to interfere with a punishment. Over time, especially as she grows in […]

  2. […] greatly in receiving discipline and growing from it. I think she’s also come to know there isn’t much point in argument, since it just doesn’t work with […]

  3. […] good of the household. So those moments a wife has to struggle through a spanking, or struggle with not wanting to receive it, are good for her and teach her. If that’s not worth being grateful for, I […]

  4. […] just had to experience that strength in a difficult way, through a spanking, perhaps one she was resistant to receive. Now she may want to experience his strength in a newer and more palatable way — by […]

  5. […] My wife has learned excellent discipline, and self-control, as any woman can, and knows not to run from a spanking or seek to end it. She has gained much from her discipline, both in the short term and […]

  6. I try to never discipline Jane based on just being upset with something she did because she may not have knowingly done anything wrong. It’s my job to make sure it’s clear in her mind that something isn’t allowed. I have a responsible to guide her as well as punish her when punishment is needed. Guidance is better then punishment. However once I am convinced that she knew what she did was not allowed there is no way she will escape being punished. Because Jane is the very opposite of being a stoic when she knows she has earned time with the strap early in our marriage I sometimes did no punishment or more commonly inadequate punishment and this almost always proved to cause a repeat of the bad behavior. When Jane knows the punishment is going to happen she tends to get quite vocal and even a little bit hysterical. I confess this can be quite disconcerting but of course if she has earned a punishment she must be punished. I think she knows that once I decide to punish her there is nothing she can say that will save her from the strap but I also think she can’t help herself, she not posing she really has no control of her reaction to knowing punishment is going to happen. Now I just accept she is going to carry on and this won’t get her out of her correction.

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