The Mindset to Give Discipline

It is best to spank your wife with love and firmness. There are cultural stereotypes about men who beat their wives out of losing their temper, or getting drunk, but this has nothing to do with real discipline. No one I’ve spoken to in domestic discipline accepts that kind of behavior. A good corrective discipline is not given with anger, or any kind of loss of control. If for some reason you are angry in the moment, it is best to wait and attend to the discipline later. Spanking has nothing to do with attacking a person who pissed you off. It is a firm, loving method of correction.

The attitude that a husband should have is one of self-control. He approaches the discipline with a sense of love for his wife, love meaning a care for her good and her betterment. He should also know that despite his natural desire to protect his wife, he will have to be hard with her, and that’s for her own good. He must have calm and self-control while delivering her correction, but at the same time, not be detached or overly calm. Being emotionless would not convey the point well. It’s common to think that a husband punishing his wife is not loving her, but this is false. A husband punishing his wife is loving her through correcting her bad and harmful behavior. It may not be the face of love we usually like to see, but a spanking can be love in action.

It can be good for a husband to draw to mind the seriousness of the offense, remembering that he is right to be offended by it, and how important it is that she commit herself to better behavior. He can think about the possible danger it caused. My wife would never describe me as angry or lacking self-control, but she can certainly hear in my voice sometimes the upset that I feel about her wrong. I will let her have it,  especially when it is very serious, but in a controlled way. My concern for her learning from this, and my concern for her protection, are working hand in hand with the need to show her how serious it is. They are working hand in hand with my legitimate offense at what she did. So there is a deep sense of love for her, and a hard correction together.

A husband learning to correct his wife will be learning to balance those things as well. It is necessary to marital discipline. It can also feel like a grand responsibility sometimes. I encourage any husband to view it that way, as a responsibility to be fulfilled, keeping in mind the different parts of the discipline, the goals of the discipline, and the need for his wife to be firmly chastised with love and self-control. Once the hard hand of correction is finished, she will be drawn back completely to know his love. She will be at peace. 


7 responses to “The Mindset to Give Discipline”

  1. […] spots, and correcting her harmful behavior. What the modern views as a barbarian at best, is a loving man whose goal is the best for her and their home. Spankings can take a matter of minutes, but the harm […]

  2. […] is helpful in maintaining the leadership of the man, and the gentle submission of his wife. It also lovingly corrects her, and brings her back under the husband’s wing when she slipping off that path. Often a good […]

  3. […] need to correct her. When she is over my knee I do not stop caring for her, and I correct her both for her good and for the good of our home. I know I will see better things from her in the future. Then she came into my arms and I held her […]

  4. […] thing I believe is important is that the man is calm, and in control. She should feel confidently led by you. Do a good job of explaining to her why she […]

  5. […] done and forgotten. You’ve fixed things, and everything will be better. You do not spank her out of anger, nor do you harbor anger. You are taking her from the wrong path back to the right one. […]

  6. Learning Avatar

    Hi Aron. A question for you:
    Have you ever disciplined your wife and later felt that perhaps you WERE too impatient with her, or that maybe your attitude wasn’t quite right, or you did any aspect of it in your flesh? I’m just wondering the HoH perspective on their own growth and attitude. A lot of people new to CDD will be like, “If you’re disciplining your wife, who disciplines you?” Which of course is a question that in many ways misses the point of the whole thing. But at the same time, men aren’t without sin and so I’m wondering from your HoH perspective how you have seen your own awareness of your own wrongs play out in the course of CDD? Sometimes a wife fails to submit and DOES need to be disciplined, but sometimes the husband wasn’t calm, or kind, or had some misunderstanding, or something. How do you relate to that as a husband? Or has that not happened at all?

    1. Hello Learning, I do not believe I have spanked my wife without cause, or ever done so in anger. It is possible in theory, which is why men need to have a godly mindset themselves, and be self-controlled and loving. If men do go wrong, it is usually a simple matter of the learning process, and they will get over it with experience, and some amount of guidance from other men.

      If a wife believes a spanking is unjustified, or an element of the discipline was excessive, she still needs to accept the discipline, and receive it with a spirit of graciousness, and seek to grow in her submission through it. No man will ever be perfect in every correction he gives her.

      Usually there is an opportunity before the discipline to explain herself anyway, and if there is any missing needed information, a wife can offer it there. However, in most situations, such explanations do not amount to a good excuse. It is simply an opportunity to make sure that she understands why she will be spanked, and he can hear her out as far as her motivations.

Leave a Reply