Description of a Discipline for Bad Mouth

My wife and I walked into our quiet apartment after our trip. Coming home from about a week away, we took time to put our bags down, and put away a few of the more important things. We talked on the couch a few minutes on our trip and about the coming  day. Then I announced her correction, which she already knew was coming. 

“Okay. You know what we have to talk about. Go to the room now and get ready. You need to undress from the waist down and wait for me.”

My wife had been very disrespectful on our departure. On the street, with others around, she had both argued with me, and yelled. This was something rare, but being fairly new in marriage, I was going to nip it in the bud, and let her know the seriousness of her act. I let her know at the time we would have a talk when we got back, and she knew what that always means. She’d stopped the behavior, and had to wait days anticipating her correction.

I gave my wife about fifteen minutes alone, to wait. She would as always be kneeling before the bed. I had her bare from the waist down. I liked that kind of preparation because baring her bottom emphasizes the punitive nature of what is coming. A cool air on her bare skin would remind her any moment what she was awaiting. She would feel how vulnerable she was on the parts I would soon be handling. Her nakedness was focused on the same soft spots I’d be focused on soon.

I walked slowly to the door and opened in, walking in. Closing it behind me I walked over to where she knelt, and sat down on the bed before where she knelt.

“What are we going to talk about today.”
My disrespect the other day, sir.
“What did you do?”
I yelled at you on the street.
I gave her a good time to hear her own words, and then responded, “do you know how serious it is to disrespect your man like that?”
Yes, sir. I should not have done it.
Do I allow that kind of badmouth in this house?
No, you don’t.
She was looking down at my questions, so I lifted her chin up to look me in the eyes. “Your attitude to your man needs to be respectful, and kind. You are here to help me, and not to insult me. Do you know that?”
Yes, I know sir. I just forgot and I lost control.

“Well, you’re going to remember never to let yourself lose control like that. This spanking is going to help you. You should never ever do that.”

She looked up into my eyes.

“Take off my belt, and get on your knees on the end of the bed.”
She reached forward, opened up the end of my belt, and struggled a little with the buckle. Finally it popped open, and she unstrung the belt loop by loop. She folded it over and handed it to me, then knelt as I instructed; her light, silky bottom parts presented to me in the air.

“Lift your butt up higher and put your shoulders down,” I told her. She adjusted her position on the bed, raising her backside up high for me.

“Your bad mouth is disrespectful, and is harmful to our marriage. I do not accept that attitude from you, ever.” I carefully swung the belt back to where I wanted it, and then brought it down in the middle of her buttocks, with a crack. Shen I brought down several more solidly placed stokes of the belt.
Mmf. Mmf. Mmf. Mmf. She grunted into the pillow.
“When I tell you something, you need to listen. You do not argue, or yell at your man, is that clear?”

Yes sir, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.

I took aim again slowly and swung the thick, black leather belt against her bottom. Stripes of pink appeared with each stroke. As the belt cracked down on her bottom, the flesh bounced with the blows as her backside gradually turned red. I looked up and down her raised bottom and thighs to see where I would strap her next.

“You’re getting whipped tonight because of your bad behavior,” I told her between strokes. Your mouth and your attitude put you right here. Was disrespect a good idea?”
No, sir. It was not, she said between heavy breathes. She began to cry freely now.

Are you sorry about your behavior?
Yes sir.

“This is what badmouth gets you in this home.” I continued the smacks of the belt on her bottom, bringing it down over and over, working into an easy motion with my arm. On occasion I swung it further over, and let it snap on the side of her hip or her thigh. Her bottom was pink and scarlet by now, and she was doing her best to bear it.

I gave her three fast swishing, hard cracks with the belt, which brought cries of alarm from her. I brought one more hard one down at the top of her buttocks, to the sound of her sudden yelp.

She started to lean forward and lower her bottom. I grabbed her waist on the side and positioned her back up. “You are being spanked and you keep your bottom in the air. This is what you’ve earned” She placed it high as before, and lowered her shoulders back on the bed.

“Are you very clear that you need to watch your mouth?”
Yes sir, it is very clear. I brought the belt down again.

“How do you speak to your man?”
With respect, sir.
I strapped her three more times with a loud smack. “Who do you belong to?”
To you sir.
“And how do you behave to me.”With submission, sir!
Are you going to speak with respect from now on?
Yes, I will. I promise.
I brought down the belt a few more times on her sore bottom, as she  squirmed and squealed with each stroke.
Ooh, ooh, ooh

Are you learning your lesson today?

Yes, sir.
I cracked the belt down on her bottom again. “Do you want to have to repeat this?”No sir, please, I don’t.
“Then you learn your lesson and you respect your man.” I now finished her session with my typical ending.

Slap! “I do not.”

Slap! “Ever”

Slap! “Want to see that from you”

Slap! “Again”


I took a look at my work, and stroked her bottom for a few seconds. It was very warm, and I had done a good job of coloring it all over, including here and there along the sides.

She was still crying into the pillow. I took her slowly by the waist and lifted her up. I let her sit for a few minutes to calm down. I sat next to her and kept my hand around her side. “Now I know that was hard for you. I made it hard for a reason. I know that hurts.” She nodded her agreement with that statement.

“I make it hurt because you need to learn that lesson. Disrespect, and yelling at your man can cause much worse pain in a marriage than you are feeling right now. Especially when you did that in public. That kind of speech attacks your man, and will make it much harder for us to function together. It cannot happen. Your bottom hurts now, but that language can hurt much more. That deserved a punishment. Do you understand?”
Yes, sir. I’ll never speak to you that way again.

“I know you won’t. You remember this lesson. The next time you want to yell, or get angry at your man, remember that is out of bounds. That will earn you something you never want to repent. This lesson can help you. It can help us. I know you’re going to do wonderfully in the future.”
“Are you going to behave?”
Yes, sir.

“I know. You do it wonderfully every day, and I know you will make me happy.”
That was a lesson I gave my wife after only a few years of marriage. It was hard, but not the most severe I have given. Her behavior that day still has never been repeated. I have spanked her two times for being argumentative, after giving a warning, but I’ve never had to spank her for yelling and being insulting as she did. She learned where the line is, and she learned that it is very serious.

That hard time for her helps endure that we have countless good and peaceful days throughout our marriage. It keeps peace in our home, which has been fertile ground for joy and fruitfulness of all kinds. Punishment is in part for refinement, and that is what it does. It set her in the right direction, and it protects our marriage to this day. I don’t even want to imagine the alternative of tolerating that behavior. If she needs something for me, or is unhappy about something, she comes to me gently and tells me. She asks me questions and accepts my answers. Anything like yelling or insult she knows to be the third rail. I wear the pants in the family, and I also wear the belt.


57 responses to “Description of a Discipline for Bad Mouth”

  1. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

    My husband doesn’t tolerate this behavior either, my last session on Sept.13 th was very hard and I had bruises left on my bottom for well over a week and half. I never want to disrespect him again. It taught me a lesson to never speak to him like that again. I know I deserved that hard session with his belt but it was still hard to take. I wanted to jump off the end of the bed because my bottom was on fire it hurt so badly, I honestly didn’t think I could handle another stroke of his belt on my bare bottom
    but I knew better, it would have been worse on me if I had done it so I laid there and took every stroke and just really cried so hard and promised him I would NEVER be disrespectful in telling him what I was going to do ever again. I learned my lesson and I couldn’t sit down easy for about 3 days after.

    1. Thank you for the vivid description. Sometimes crying out loud and being in tears is what it really takes. I know you’ll do your best to be respectful to him in the future. That’s why husbands give these lesson.

      I actually just had to spank my wife for similar reasons as above. It was not as serious as the event I describe in the article, but she was being argumentative and disrespectful, and did not stop despite a warning. She wasn’t surprised when I told her I’d be discussing her behavior with her, and I ended up giving her a good long strapping. She knows very well I don’t let that pass.

      1. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

        We know better, Aron…but yet we sometimes fail and we as wives know right from wrong and what our husband’s expect from us which is obedience and for us to submit to ya’ll when we know good and we’ll if we don’t we will end up regretting it very soon or immediately which is alot of the way it is in my case. While I do not enjoy the pain of a spanking I do like that my husband now sees the importance of leading and making sure I am obedient and when I fail to comply the belt comes off and I am soon taken down a notch and I have nobody to blame but myself and I am sure your wife feels the same way. We know our husband’s well and know what our consequences will be, so why do we disobey? I soon regret the misdeeds and wished I hadn’t messed up again. I cry very easily before he even smacks my bottom I am crying just him repramending me and him asking me questions. I feel horrible for my actions and I feel bad that my husband works hard all day then having to come home and spank me because I have disobeyed. I tell him I am very sorry, I know you are disappointed in me as I am in myself. He says then why didn’t you just obey me then? I don’t know why, Sir.( By this time I am really crying by then as he is strapping me all over on both sides and underneath my cheeks, that is so tender there and bruises alot faster I think)
        but I can’t allow your disobedience to continue because you are sinning and it is affecting us negatively and as the Head of this home you are subject to me and I will come home and spank you everyday until you get this through your head that I am your husband and you must do what I say to do. My words are not mere suggestions for you to decide IF you want to do what I tell you to do or not, am I making myself clear right now?!! Yes, Sir you are then he spanks me some more and they get harder too. He said is this spanking speaking to you right now I just say Yes, Sir because that is the only answer he wants coming out of my mouth. I want nothing but to please him I want to be a good wife, a good submissive
        obedient wife. I don’t look forward to our little talks I know what they are meant for and it is nothing but pure dread.

        1. Your husband is leading you rightly. His words make clear he knows what he’s doing. Praise God. A punishment can be hard to go through, but the fact you can really feel wrong for what you did, and want to express your regret to your husband, is wonderful. That’s a part of what spanking accomplishes for the lady being corrected. It’s a powerful tool in marriage. I hope in seeing a description like you give, and in seeing the good results in spanking, more men will start to use it.

  2. Excellent article Aron! I think the dialogue during the spanking really adds to is effectiveness. I used to spank my wife in silence, but now, always provide dialogue during her punishment. I insist she address me as Sir and she needs to convince me she won’t misbehave in this fashion again. I too believe there should be zero tolerance for an argumentative, disrespectful wife. I have strapped my wife for this on more than one occasion and she also will experience a lovely bar of soap in her mouth, first facing a mirror band then standing in the corner.

    1. Thank you Mark. You’re doing a very good job with discipline. I believe speaking and lecturing during a discipline is important. It needs to be clear and to be firm. I have never soaped my wife’s mouth for that kind of behavior, but I can see how that punishment is appropriate for the wrong use of the tongue. You can never give that behavior a pass. No one can think it is acceptable.

  3. My sir has also given me spankings for same reason. He uses the cane and it’s painful. He gags my mouth as well. I submit to him completely at that moment and learnt my lesson

    1. Your husband is wise to take care of it so firmly. That’s a line never to cross. I will gag my wife as well, since she will always cry out during a session. Thanks for sharing your experience.

  4. I would certainly get a soapy mouth too, in addition to the severe belt spanking.
    screaming and being disrespectful is a very serious limit in our marriage, in public so I can’t even imagine what the punishment would be.

    1. Sure, doing it in public makes it a greater disrespect, and spreads the negativity to more people. With anything like that I will make sure her correction is a long one that will instill its seriousness. She will never want to repeat it. It happens very rarely, and that’s in part because I manage her. Thank you for your thoughts.

  5. Aron, my dear husband and I enjoy your site very much. After our Bible study this morning, we read your new post and had a lovely conversation about the place harsh punishment holds in a godly marriage. The husband has a sacred duty to control his wife’s behavior, and sometimes he may decide force is necessary to open her heart and help her see the fault of her ways.

    With humility, I’d like to share that I myself am still smarting from a punishment similar to the one you described giving your own dear wife early in your marriage. I most assuredly deserved it, but it continues to be difficult for me to process the many emotions I feel surrounding the burning pain and shame of my spanking. I wanted a marriage founded on discipline very badly, yet the humbling nature of a hard spanking has been emotionally overwhelming for me in a way I never expected.

    However difficult it was to bear, we agree this has been a wonderful turning point for our marriage. I am gentle, meek, and respectful to him in a truly authentic way, whereas before I may have been just eagerly playing a role I didn’t fully understand. His authority has teeth, and my respect for him is tinged with a healthy amount of fear, as it should be. I have truly been created anew, forged in the fire my loving husband rained down on my tender flesh. Even after the soreness has faded, a woman does not easily forget the sting of her husband’s belt.

    I am thankful that your writing provides a forum for my husband and I to have very tender and intimate conversations about his headship and oversight of me. Most of all, I am thankful for my man’s strength and loving guidance. He, too, wears the pants and the belt in our marriage, and I thank God for it.

    1. Wonderful. I’m really glad this website offers some guidance and fellowship for you in bringing discipline into your marriage. I know your husband is doing a great job with you. You are well loved and well led. As you say, authority needs to have teeth, and it won’t end up lasting long without them. There need to be boundaries, and a strong reason not to go outside of them. The belt is an excellent way to do it.

      Being forged is a good way to describe the process. Your man works with you body and soul, molds and shapes you, and makes you new. You should definitely be grateful for his love, guidance, and power.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience with us. Blessing.

  6. talltaurus Avatar

    This is a great example of correcting your woman for disrespecting her man and talking back. I’ve had to have sessions like this also. She knows she must satisfy me orally after a session for talking back. It’s appropriate that she pleasures her man with her lips as opposed to disrespecting him with them. During a good strapping I have her answer the question, “tell me what that pretty mouth is going to do when this is over” Which of course she must then focus on a proper detailed answer.
    I recommend this.

    1. Yes, it’s very appropriate for a woman to satisfy her husband that way. Her mouth is for honoring him and pleasing him. It gives her a good chance to use her mouth rightly.

  7. My husband actually gags me with a bar of soap when I’ve been verbally disrespectful or used bad words. He uses a “soap-on-a-rope” which he can then tie up halter style. I surely do remember those punishments because my bum is burning from his caning and so is my mouth. As soon as my punishment is over, I have to rinse my mouth thoroughly and gargle with water based lube so he can use my throat to relieve himself.

    1. By relieve do you mean oral submission in sex or receive his urine? I’m hoping it’s the first one. It’s very common for a committed Christian wife to please her Man after a punishment or a funishment in our case and offcourse he should not need to ask.

      1. That makes sense. It would be far outside the norm of wife spanking to bring in non-sexual bodily fluids into sex or discipline.

  8. michelewife Avatar

    I know this might not be the place to post it here, but i am looking for anybody to mentor me and my husband as he has implemented domestic discipline in our marriage and this blog while extremely helpful is not as comprehensive as he had hoped

    my email is:

    1. Hello Michel, I am glad you are interested in learning more about applying discipline. I also have an earlier post about women helping women, which invites other women to leave their contacts if they’d like a female mentor. Be blessed.

  9. I got a bad spanking a few weeks ago for being disrespectful to our son in law. I knew I messed up right after the words came out. I got about 50 with the strap had to apologize and then had to stay in the corner till bath time I don’t know why I did it but I won’t do it again, that’s for sure.

    1. Tony Senex Avatar
      Tony Senex

      Jane, I knew you as an admirable respectful wife and I was surprised for your bad words to your son-in-law who spanked your daughter. He is her husband and can punish her how much he thinks right. So Bob did a good thing spanking you hard. How long was your corner time? However I think your lesson will be very profitable to you and your marriage.

      [comment edited by Aron to remove content inappropriate for this website]

      1. I had to bend over the end of the couch to get the strap, I had to stay in the corner in the living room until my bath time, I think I was in the corner for an hour. I know my son in law has authority over our daughter and can punish her when he she is bad. I messed up

        [comment edited by Aron to remove content inappropriate for the website]

  10. Thank you for your insightful blog. In your most recent post you described a discipline session that occurred about a week after your wife’s disrespectful outburst. I’m curious why you waited a week or more to discipline her. Do you usually recommend delaying discipline or do you suggest immediate discipline if possible or at least as soon as is practicable? I also wonder if by waiting as long as you did whether your wife thought she would not be punished or was she more anxious or possibly more submissive as the week wore on, perhaps knowing she would be punished after your trip?

    1. Hell Doug, Thanks for your questions. I thought the reason was mentioned in the article. I had to wait since we were traveling, and there was no good place to take care of discipline. I don’t think it’s bad to have a wait of some hours, but days is too long. She definitely knew she would be punished, and was very good the rest of the trip.

      I do have this article on waiting, if you haven’t seen it:

  11. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

    Jane I too messed up a few days back, I have a reminder of the spanking everytime I sit down. Rest assured I will think next time we go out to eat who I am suposed to sit down next to. He said, I disrespected his authority over me when I chose to sit at the other side of the table next to his Mom instead of taking my place beside him. IDK WHY I did that, but I don’t want to do it again, and not just because I am still feeling it but because I hurt him as my man. I hate when he is disappointed in me.

    1. IAMHISSUBMISSIVE Your husband is even more strict than my husband, I don’t think Bob would spank me for sitting next to someone. Did he tell you can’t do this before, that would be different?

  12. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

    No Jane, it wasn’t mentioned, but he said it goes without saying I should have known better. I never make excuses for myself I just do as I am told. I only argued 1 time with him.and it was this past Labor Day when our grown kids were down and we were all playing cards and having some drinks and I had 1 too many, they went to my head a little quick and I got sassy with him, he sent me to bed and told me I will be blistered on Sunday after they leave, he kept his word. I never want to get tipsy again or even drink again, it’s not worth it. I never want to repeat that EVER!!

  13. Cherishedwife Avatar

    Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and don’t be harsh with them. Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and don’t be harsh with them. Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and don’t treat them harshly. Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and don’t become bitter against them.

    1. As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent. Revelation 3:19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent. Revelation 3:19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent. Revelation 3:19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent. Revelation 3:19

      1. Heather Avatar

        Hi Aron,
        The first time I read through this I was struck by cherishedwife’s obvious concern that wives be treated with love and kindness, and then I laughed at your reply too because it was fun that you repeated your verse four times to answer her four cut and paste’s.
        But really, this little exchange has been turning round and round in my head quite a bit. Both cherishedwife’s verse and yours represent truth, as both are scripture. Your verse demonstrating that whatever the “harshness” is that Paul is saying to avoid in Colossians, can’t be “rebuking and chastening” as Jesus did that as a loving groom towards His bride. But still, I wonder what Paul would have considered “harshness?” When you read this verse about not being harsh with your wife, yet knowing that you are willing to serve her the bite of your belt, how do you know that that is not “harsh?” What is harsh in Paul’s mind, do you think? Because I know that most today would consider a whipping to be harshness.
        These kind of discussions tear me up inside because I want, I beg, my husband to not take it easy on me. I beg him for sternness, austerity, even “harshness” when needed. But am I asking him to sin against me? I know you would say I’m not, but what exactly IS harshness that Paul warns against and how is it distinct from the “chastening” you quote Jesus as doing to His bride? Are the bruises on my bottom “harshness” when I feel they are a blessing and a kiss of favor to me? I want to be well-disciplined, and I want to get away with nothing. I want to know that I have no option but to obey him, and this gives me a sense of peace, and wholeness to know I am hedged in to this commitment to obey. I don’t understand that drive, but since reading your blog I decided to embrace it and he has too.
        Thank you in advance.

        1. Hello Heather, That’s a good question. I do plan to deal with that subject eventually in an article. I see nothing in the New Testament that would regard ordinary punishment as wrong, or being too harsh. It endorses ordinary punishment. It endorses authorities who give them. It compares the chastisement of believers with the chastisement of children, which commonly would have been with a whipping.

          I see the New Testament teachings, including those which endorse a gentle manner, to refer to our default setting; we are to be humble, not put ourselves above others, not get angry, not demean others, speak with wisdom and grace. Absolutely. Yet none of these things rules out giving a punishment, including the physical kind. Punishment is necessary, and giving one does not reflect either pride or harshness.

          The kind of attitude which is wrong would be acting on rage, acting on pride, acting without wisdom or justice, punishing severely a little wrong. The line in which an actual punishment enters into being too harsh is very subjective, and I don’t see that the New Testament clearly draws any line.

          As far as spanking goes. biblical principles would lead me to believe that it should not be injurious, or highly risk injury. It should not be harsh if the offense was very small. Otherwise, it is up the the discretion and wisdom of the authority in judging what level of punishment is appropriate.

          I hope you see what I mean.

      2. “The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us.” – C.S. Lewis

  14. But surely your husband should be pleased that you have such a good relationship with his mother that you automatically sat next to her, iamhissubmissive60. Also he had never stipulated that you were not allowed to sit next to another person when you went out to eat, even with his own family! So I think spanking you severely for that is really over the top. Also it ruined what should have been a really pleasant family situation, because you were so anxious about the oncoming spanking that you could not eat at first and had to be ordered to do so by your husband and then ask permission to finish eating. .Surely all this would have caused tension amongst the other members of the family who were witnessing this. So I think in this situation the spanking was overkill !

  15. the last time I was a bad mouth I received a soapy mouth, then with the bar of soap in my mouth I received a beating on his knees, the hardest thing was not to scream, my husband said it would be 50 blows, but if the bar of soap would fall the count would start over, he said it was a way for me to learn to keep my mouth shut

    1. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

      He is very strict and expects me to use my common sense and if he thinks I need a spanking then he tells me to go to our bedroom and he gives me a little time to pray and prepare, I don’t always know why but it’s something he feels he needs to teach me either over his knee or over the bed and I am always very submissive and very careful how I speak and answer him. I do love his parents very much and they know that I do. His parents never said a word in my defense, because they also have a traditional marriage.

  16. My husband is authoritative but not authoritarian. I know he has authority over me and if I commit a serious misdemeanour then I will be spanked, but it will never be something random that has come out of the blue and has little meaning. I know that disrespect and disobedience are a complete no no and I do my best to be submissive and respectful. Sometimes when we are having some banter however I can get a bit near the edge and he will give me a verbal warning such as “Do you really want to be going to bed with a sore bottom?” and I immediately apologise and rein myself in. Of course I mess up sometimes and in these instances I know exactly why I am being disciplined.. I am corrected with the strap or the paddle depending on the offence, and it definitely makes me sit down very carefully for a few days and think about the behaviour that got me there. Thankfully he does not believe in using soap as a punishment. The spanking itself and my husband’s words to me during the spanking certainly humble me but they do not demean me. I am always very contrite after a spanking and I vow to do better with my husband’s love and encouragement. Discipline (although it really hurts at the time as my husband spanks hard) helps me and helps our marriage.

    1. Thanks for your comment, Tilly. I think your husband has a very good and reasonable approach. Spanking when done right can definitely help a marriage. I’m really glad to hear how it has helped yours.

  17. iamhissubmissive60 You say you don’t always know why you are being spanked. I do think it’s important that we always know why we are being disciplined. Personally, I am in no doubt whatsoever why a spanking is forthcoming ! Furthermore my husband will make it as clear with his words as he does with his strap !

    1. That’s a good point. Clear communication is important, and it helps the punishment do its job.

      1. It makes no sense to punish a wife when she doesn’t know why she is being punished. The purpose of punishment is to correct bad behavior, how can a wife correct her bad behavior if she doesn’t know what she did wrong. I always ask Jane if she understands why she is getting spanked. I don’t spank her until she understands, otherwise what is the point?

  18. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

    Bob, we are quiet new at this whole CDD. He gets mad very easily, it doesn’t take much to make him mad, he is huge on me using my common sense and when I don’t he has no tolerance for it and I have to bare my bottom for a hard spanking to teach me to use my common sense in the future. He doesn’t talk to me alot while he spanks me really, sometimes he does but not always.
    But, I have learned now what he expects from me and I haven’t been spanked now in over 3 weeks.

  19. Recently my husband brought this to me ..and wants to spank me and implement DD in our marriage . My first spank was yesterday not sure how I feel because I’m a very independent woman a nurse .. I want to do this but how ? He says he wants this so he knows I’m committed to this marriage . Any suggestions?

    1. Hello Shelly, Thank you for visiting my website and for writing. Feel free to connect with me at my e-mail below as well.

      It can require a change of attitude to learn to submit to your husband and accept correction. You have to let go of some old forms of thought. However, any woman can learn submission, and I have seen plenty of independent women submit willfully and thankfully to their husbands.

      If a woman can learn to show respect and obey her boss at work, she can certainly respond in similar ways to her husband. At the heart it is a choice to step down and place yourself under his authority. It requires a recognition of your husband as your lord, and a desire to help and serve him daily. He is your king.

      Receiving a spanking can be hard in itself. That is both because of the pain and the humbling. However, the key necessary is to focus on your remorse for your wrong, and on doing better in the future. Spanking is a correction, and is meant to steer you away from trouble and onto the right course. It is short lived, and for the good of the home.

      Learning submission, and how to show respect, does take time, and there are real tactics that can help you. I get into some ways to apply submission in your marriage in this article, Practical Submission:

      I know you can grow from your husband’s correction. Let him melt down your resistance. Let him chip away at the hard spots. He is refining you as a woman to be softer and to more easily follow his lead.

      I hope that helps you on your way.



  20. Do you ever consider tying your wife up and gagging her as a form of punishment?

    1. Hello Billy, Thank you for your question. I have addressed the use of restraints during a punishment in one article right here:

      I don’t use restraints, but I understand how some feel it helps. I believe it is much better for a wife to learn self-restraint, and to obediently stay in position during her punishment. The use of gags is not uncommon, and I often will gag my wife to ensure she is silent, as spanking is a private experience.

      However, if you mean to tie her up uniquely as a form of punishment, I have never considered it, and I don’t see how it would work. I believe a spanking is best. It is relatively short, is rightly painful, and effectively teaches a lesson. It’s worked for thousands of years.

      1. Thanks for your response. That makes sense but my wife doesn’t really want to be spanked because of the pain. She’s instead suggested that I gag her and she wear the gag around the house as a reminder to be respectful in her speech. I wonder if that would work.

        1. You’re welcome, Billy. You can find a method you believe is most effective. I don’t know how wearing a gag would do the job. It’s not a punishment per se, but it sounds like a reminder.

          The pain of a spanking can be hard to face, but countless women learn to accept them. It would not do its job without being painful. Having to face a spanking, and even thinking about one, helps a woman realize her wrong, and do her best to change her behavior. It helps her know her submissive place as well, because it is humbling on a deep level.

          I’m not saying other forms of correction cannot work, but I find spanking the best, and that’s why I use it in my marriage. You could look through my article on non-spanking discipline if you’d like to try alternative approaches:

        2. Billy I think that your wife doesn’t want to be spanked is the whole point in spanking her. I don’t believe any Christian husband should negotiate with his wife on how she is punished when she is disobedient and/or disrespectful Her duty is to submit to whatever correction you decide is needed. Of course first and foremost is your duty to insure her well being, this duty should inform the punishment she receives when she needs to be punished

          1. Yes, this is true. It is the man’s right and responsibility to discipline his wife in a way he sees fit. She should not decide on her punishment. However, considering laws in the West, discipline does require a general consent of the wife, or else it risks being criminal.

            If you think spanking is the way to proceed, it would be good to tell her why, and explain it is for her benefit and for the benefit of the household. Explain to her how it’s going to work. As a submissive wife she should accept your decision, but legally she does not need to.

            Here is a link to my article on consent in discipline:

  21. […] receive instruction, need to look up to me and verbally affirm her submission, all before I begin to chastise her. Afterward, she is usually kneeling as well, to express her better behavior in the future, now that […]

  22. Billy, I read that your wife suggested gagging her and like to make a suggestion: I get spanked more often than I would like, but there is also a non-spanking punishment for a bad mouth in our family: The punishment sweater.
    On our honeymoon I was having a “mood” criticizing everything, the hotel, breakfast, the taxi driver and I was ruining my husband’s mood as well. So when he saw something in a shop, he pulled myself inside and had me try on a huge, thick turtleneck sweater made from extremely hairy wool Her rolled the neck up over my nose, paid for it and we left. If I would have opened my mouth any time, I would have gotten the hairs all over my tongue, so I kept it shut tightly for the whole day, except for the times my husband rolled the neck down and handed me a bottle of water to stay hydrated.
    I still have this sweater I still have to wear it when I can’t control my mouth, until the problem can be dealt with through a spanking.
    Last month we had guests over and I started to get too argumentative with one of our guests for my husband’s taste, so he just said: “Go, fetch your sweater, honey!” I left and returned with the neck up over my nose and sat down at the table again. My husband apologized on my behalf and explained the arrangement to our guests (I guess one of the wives present also owns such a sweater by now…) while I stayed silent and embarrassed for the evening.
    My husband believes that I should actively and passively help in my punishments, so the use of actual restraints like a gag is out of the question.

    1. That’s very interesting. I have never heard of that before. Thank you for sharing your experience.

    2. The sweater idea is very innovative. Women’s chatter can be tiring enough let alone the kind of behavior Callie relates. This humbles the misbehaving wife and publically demonstrates her obedience. Excellent idea

  23. Well I don’t like that my husband found this page… my behind is very sore again. I told him to f off as I was stressed and I am getting the belt everyday for a week, he even put water on it yesterday to sting it more. . I asked not for Christmas but I’m getting it then too. 🙁 too harsh.

    1. Hello KP, Thanks for visiting my site. A number of men have been inspired to spank by my website, or to spank more consistently and firmly. It is part of the goal I have here.

      I know it’s hard to face a spanking, but any husband I’ve heard of would certainly punish strictly for the way that you spoke. That’s uncalled for and very disrespectful. A spanking has got to hurt, and it should be an undesirable experience.

      What you should do now is focus on learning the lesson from it. Work on putting your heart in a place of submission, where you give your husband the honor he deserves. Work on speaking to him with reverence, softly, and respecting his decisions.

      As far as I go, I would not dish out punishment on Christmas, nor do I give daily ones, but everyone is different. If you avoid that kind of talk in the future, you will not run into so many harsh situations.

      I wish the best to both of you. Have a very happy Christmas, despite your passing correction.

  24. jennifersuescott Avatar

    Not sure if this went through before. I was extremely disrespectful to my husband last night, and I feel horrible. He has been open to spanking in the past, just not sure that he’s 100% on board. I sent him the message below, we’ll have to wait until he is out of work to see what happens I guess. Do you think I should add anything to it? Thanks for your help in advance.
    I’m sorry honey. It’s my fault and I’m really sorry. You didn’t and don’t deserve that. You’re my rock, and I should always respect you. I think you should punish me, in whatever way you feel fit. Get it out and then it’s done, make me know not to do it again. I’m really sorry, really didn’t mean it, shouldn’t have taken stress out on you and I love you to pieces.

    1. Hello Jennifer, Thank you for sharing the situation with your husband. I hope that he sees fit to give you the punishment that you have earned. I think that your message to him is very good. I can’t think of anything I would add right now, but I’ll let you know if I think of anything. It’s great to see that you have the right attitude towards your husband. Just put that attitude into practice every day, and you will find you don’t have much trouble with disrespect.

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