How Spanking Cleanses a Woman

Much can be said about spanking’s punitive abilities, or its deterrent effect. In fact, those are some of the first things we think of when we think of punishment of any kind, and one of the first things that comes to mind with spanking, along with its intimacy and nudity announcing it as profound marital correction. Yet punitive and deterrent effects are wrapped up in the overall change of heart. They help and are helped by the overall betterment of the chastised woman. That change of heart and betterment happens in large part by spanking’s inner reach: it cleanses the woman and helps heal her inside.

That cleaning power is a part of why so many women desire it. New husbands will learn to see it soon as well, in the outpouring of his wife’s heart and emotions. Not only was the desire that led to her bad behavior soothed, and lessened, but much came out that she was keeping inside. It came out in her trembling. In her tears. In her words of affirmation in how she would now behave. In her sorrow. In her desire to be close soon after. A husband should know he is working with a wife’s inner being, and healing her heart. He both chastises the badly behaved wife, and reshapes her inside.

Beyond the spanking itself, the humbling of the experience begins to help her. It starts to cleanse her of pride, and vain conception of herself. That is a great weight to let go of. Simply needing to undress and kneel, and receive verbal correction begins to loosen the hold on false pride. It helps her take a step down. She returns to her natural self, responding to her husband gently as one beneath him. She lets go of being in control, perhaps something she had been striving for, or craving with a selfish hunger. She is pointedly OUT of control now, and learns to accept it, as she will learn to accept her daily submission. Much of that irritation and aggression that comes with trying to be in control is shed, simply as she prepares to receive the coming punishment. She knows her defenses will come down. She’ll be shedding tears. Her man will see her for whom she really is. hard to face, but relieving in the moment. She is more in touch with her womanhood as she loses the pride and steps down.

Needing to learn acceptance also heals the wife during her discipline. Much like dropping the heavy weight of trying to be in control, she drops the weight of trying to figure everything out herself. She learns acceptance both of the punishment, and of her man’s strength caring for her and protecting her. In the moment it will be a hard correction, but daily it will be his love and support. She learns reliance, and dependence upon his strength, not on her mind or her independent ideas. It takes her to a more peaceful state. Over time she learns to accept his lead in an ongoing way, and feels deeply feminine to rely on his power and his decisions. Now she has been humbled, but soon she will be fill full of his strength and lifted up.

Her tears cleanse her in way only something so personal can. They come from within her, and as they flow out, other salty things flow out too. She pours out her sorrow. Her feelings. She pours out not only negative feelings such as stress and resentment, but also starts communicating good ones, that she has kept stuck inside her. She can more devotedly express her desire to be a good wife. She can express more sincerely her commitment to do good, and her hatred of her wrong act. She can show her remorse in tears often better than any other way. A woman who has been spanked, after she briefly comes to herself again, is more at peace, and is relieved of inner ailments, beyond her desire to do wrong. Impurity, tension, anger, resentment has been spanked out of her, coming side by side with those sweet promises to be good. She felt ashamed before, soon she will be feeling adored and holy again.

Perhaps the greatest thing a thorough spanking cleanses a woman of is her guilt. She knows instinctively that it cleanses her of actual guilt of her deed by bearing the punishment of her deed. It also cleanses her of that dirty feeling of guilt. Of walking around feeling marked by it, or thinking she could be exposed at any moment, or need to have it pointed out at any moment. That feeling of wrongdoing goes away through the whole discipline session. Most importantly, she is able to express that she knows it is wrong, cry out to her man that she is sorry, and express what was hidden previously on her heart. She expresses it in the boldest way, that usually would not be forthcoming without a spanking. While she fears the stroke of her husband’s belt, she almost wants it to come, because she knows she needs it. She knows it is her best chance to hear the words of correction, and say her own words that heal her. Between the humble experience of being spanked, her man’s words, and her own words, she knows the guilt is in the past, and her deed will be forgotten. She feels clean. She knows inside that she is.

The spanking cleanses a wife by ending that tension and poor connection that her attitude has led to. Restoring her to peace is coupled with restoring man and wife to closeness, and her acceptance as a submissive partner to her husband, and simple part of his very being. She has been bared to him. Her innermost feelings have been exposed. She has been lowered down. Now she and her husband come close to each other. Her barriers are down. He holds her. She wants his comfort. She wants to be restored fully to him. They often finish her session with making love. Her restoration to intimacy, feeling her man’s warmth, strength, tender affections bring healing. Where before there was coldness, or polite communication, there is a real union of hearts, and she feels that in her innermost being. Healing of the separation cleanses her, and helps make them one.

It is an emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual process. I believe cleansing the guilt, especially, is spiritual, among other things. Somehow even that simple start, having to lay flat over her man’s lap, or bent over at the waist, bare bottom up, kick starts the change. Opens her up for further improvement. It prepares her mind to opening up to him, to being freed of what is hidden within. The words and the strike of her man’s hand, or his instrument, get the tears flowing, and she finds greater ease in saying — I’m sorry, I won’t do it again, I’m yours, Please, I’ll be good, I’m sorry — and gets all of those hard, dead things out of her, bringing her back to a submissive love towards her man. That slight fear of his power, and of what is coming next, help her to throw herself proverbially at her man’s feet, to give up any resistance, to profess her desire to be good and mean it. Each element of the session plays a role. It lifts her heart from a dark place and brings it to one where she will find comfort, and feel her man smile on her. A spanking should not be brief for this reason. It should not be too mild. It needs to be thorough, and as a thorough correction helps her open up, cry, be cleansed of guilt, and know that the past is the past. It helps her come to that soft place herself to feel more clearly her man’s power. All of this brings peace, despite her stripes and crying.


32 responses to “How Spanking Cleanses a Woman”

  1. The fact that more or less severe beatings of wives have existed for centuries is not an argument in favor of corporal punishment. For centuries, in various parts of the world there was also a tradition of slavery, hunting for infidels, or confining disabled children to homes. Not everything that is backed by tradition is valid.
    Corporal punishment is not a good solution, it is a failure in marriage. The effectiveness of physical punishment is highly questionable. A wife who gets spanked for her behavior learns above all that her beloved husband can be unpredictable, even scary in his behavior, and begins to fear him. Having no chance to analyze the nature of his reactions and their possible consequences, he does not cognitively or emotionally work out a given situation and its impact on the environment. In other words, she will not understand what she did wrong and how she can fix it. She only realizes that there are times when her beloved husband is able to do her deliberate harm. So, her focus is not on how to change her behavior, but on how to avoid her husband’s anger. Consequently, the desired “change” in your wife’s behavior observed and emphasized by you does not result from the fact that she has understood what happened and is really trying to change her behavior, but from the fact that she is very scared and confused and tries to calm down spouse. With time, she learns not so much to choose between what is good and what is not (because this is not the subject of his attention), but how to act so that her husband does not find out about what may be the source of her pain and suffering, which she herself wants to avoid.
    Your approach to the subject is a mere sexual game, satisfying the need for domination with the consent or not of the wife. And a wife who wants it herself satisfies her masochistic desires. This is just an ordinary sex game.

    1. Hello Edward, I don’t use this as a forum to do long debates, but I will reply to some of your points critical of wife spanking. I dont think that you have examined this subject fully, and I also find that you assume what you claim is true, without showing it to be true. I really suggest you spend more time meditating on this subject, without reacting in a knee-jerk fashion to it.

      If your main counter-argument is that citing tradition alone doesn’t prove something is right, I would agree completely. That’s why I don’t rely entirely on tradition. However, the universality of that tradition argues strongly in the favor of male headship and of wife spanking. It has been an element in billions of successful marriages, and in civilizations of all levels. That can’t be written off. Nor does tradition exist alone as evidence, but comes hand in hand with other evidence: the male and female natures, the Word of God, and the benefits of the male led home and benefits of discipline. Together they all form a robust argument.

      One reason to cite the universality of that tradition is not only as a level of evidence (which it is), but also to show people where they are in history and what is going on. People often get the idea that a hammered flat view of equality and a condescending view of wife spanking is just normal. It is the air that they breathe. Therefore, it’s useful to remember that such foolishness only took over very recently, and that for millennia in our own culture, and for millennia in other cultures, male headship and marital discipline was the norm. It has taken a very modern and well planned attack to change that broadly, and one shouldn’t examine the topic without realizing that. The modern western view is rooted in secular humanism and feminism and is not “normal” at all.

      Moreover, remember that from a secular standpoint, there is nothing intrinsically good and evil anyway. That means the good is determined by the person or the culture. The secular world then should not be complaining if men spank their wives, since culture is ENOUGH evidence to show an act is good, as humanity has obviously determined that it is. Who are we to say otherwise? The secularist cannot state as a fact that spanking is wrong, since the secularist cannot state that ANYTHING is wrong. They can only voice their personal opinion. Culture is their guidance system anyway.

      In your argument, you also assume that all slavery is wrong, thus alleging that a universal cultural norm can still be wrong. But you don’t prove all forms of slavery are wrong. The Bible accepts slavery, and millions of people have been lifted out of poverty and out of danger by slavery, many choosing to stay within the institution because it does them good. People willingly sell themselves into slavery to this day. So that angle doesn’t do your argument any favors. Slavery is wrong when it is inhumane and violates God’s commandments. That’s it.

      You also assume that “hunting of infidels ” is wrong without proving it. How is it wrong? People who profane God and lead others away from Him are dangerous and do incredible harm to society. Why shouldn’t they be brought to justice? Aren’t other offenders brought to justice?

      In fact your OWN society hunts its infidels, casting out of its institutions anyone who disagrees with the current medical opinions, anyone who refuses to celebrate sodomy, anyone who uses the “wrong” pronouns, anyone who uplifts God law instead of the secular worldview; these people are hunted to this day. This society believes strongly in hunting infidels. But they are hunting the WRONG people. Those who should be removed are those who blaspheme and take people away from the one true God.

      You also weigh the matter unfairly because you demand of marital discipline something you’d never demand of societal discipline: that it doesn’t meet this ideal aim of the offender fully understanding the wrong and choosing the right for the highest possible reason. Virtually NO discipline on earth accomplishes that.

      It may not be the ideal, but discipline still accomplishes good aims: it ensures the offender knows their behavior is wrong, it ensures the offense is punished, it ensures at times that restitution is made, and it deters future crime. The idea that some wives don’t respond in a whole-hearted way changes none of that. Discipline is good because of what it does accomplish.

      Some wives in fact WILL come to understand the depth of the wrong, and change for all the right reasons, as is true of some criminal offenders. But justice continues to work, even when they don’t. The criminal who stays out of trouble only to avoid the consequences has been benefited greatly, and society has benefited greatly as well. Discipline, whether in marriage, or in society, is not meant to create the greatest spiritual change, but on some occasions it does. It is simply meant to warn, regulate, punish, and deter. I wouldn’t want to do without it.

      This argument further ignores that a husband leads and guides his wife by other methods than discipline. He isn’t spanking her all of the time. The rest of the time he is teaching and verbally correcting her, often with gentleness. He leads the home prayer life and Bible studies. He encourages her in spiritual growth. He sets a moral example by his behavior. Therefore, the husband plays a role indeed in aiding his wife to do good for the highest possible reason, and to turn from evil for the highest possible reason. Your argument falls apart unless you assume a man spends most of the marriage spanking her. He does not. Moreover, his leadership models the leadership of God and of Christ. If God and Christ can both teach gently, and also give you something to be afraid of, then so can the head of the home. Each part plays a role in learning, and no part should be ignored.

      If you think what I teach is merely a “sex game” you obviously have not read the website, or maintained an open mind. I teach spanking as a form of discipline, or at times of training. I do not teach erotic spanking, although I respect that many people do that too. The fact that discipline comes with a sexual element is no surprise, but it simply does not change the fact that spanking is discipline. Of course it has a sexual element, since its participants are husband and wife, who are sexually united. Conversation can have strong sexual undertones as well, but conversation exists for its own purposes, and not uniquely for sex.

      It is more accurate to say that spanking and discipline is inseparable from the same masculine and feminine forces that inspire sexual attraction and intercourse. They contain some of the same core ingredients, such as power and submission, strength and yielding. Bare flesh. But nowhere on this website do I teach spanking as a form of erotic pleasure. It is simply a tool for the head of the home, who is a man, to use to guide his wife.

      Lastly, male leadership and submission are not rooted in what you are referring to as sadistic or masochistic. It is rooted in our natures, our societal roles, and in God’s revelation. You only wish to portray it that way in order to demean it. One need have no desire to inflict or receive pain to reap the wonderful rewards of gender roles, or of discipline. One only need to be a normal human being, with the nature God gave him, to experience the benefits, and to find it fulfilling. Men are uniquely designed and suited for leadership and for guiding their wives. Women are likewise designed for their roles, and it is natural for them to long for their man’s strength, and to experience it fully. The power and yielding expressed in marriage, in the marriage bed, and in marital discipline are not based on a predilection for pain. Far from it. They are based on the already present power and submission we have, body and soul.

      I’d suggest you read “Feel Like a Natural Woman,” which deals partly with that topic, as well as “There is No Such Thing as a Dom.” Marital discipline is not for sadists and masochists as you accuse. It is for ordinary men and women.

      1. Thank you for the comprehensive reply Aron. I disagree with your point of view and interpretation of religious laws. Your arguments do not appeal to me, but I admire your strong determination to justify your way to a happy marriage. And I respect it as long as your spouse sincerely shares your point of view. I also believe that a woman and a man differ in terms of their physical strength, predisposition to perform different jobs and activities, mentality and emotionality. I also share the view that men and women have different gender roles. The fact that we are biologically different. But just because we are different does not mean that someone is better, more important, and that he has power over the other person. My job as a computer scientist is worth as much, maybe even less, than my wife’s job at home. My strength and rationalism are a counterbalance to my wife’s femininity and emotional behavior. We are different, but we complement each other and do not apply any hierarchy of superiority and punishment. Discipline is needed in raising children. Grown-ups in marriage need self-discipline. Both in men and women, not only in women. And this also holds true for billions of marriages. Divorces have been, are and will be. This is the curse of today. But are women really to blame for it? Observing the world around me, I sincerely doubt it. Just because I don’t support DD, CDD etc. doesn’t mean I condemn them. As long as they are a conscious choice of the spouses. However, I stick to my marriage model, and leave spanking and domination in our bedroom. Regards. Happy husband to a happy wife.

        1. Hello Edward, Thank you for your reply. I’m glad you have some basic respects for gender roles. That is good and natural and everyone should. It’s great that your wife cares for the home too. But if you don’t respect the headship of the man, then you are not respecting gender roles. No one says a man is “better” just because he is the head. However, he is superior by position and carries the authority. This is in good harmony with our sex differences, which you yourself see, and agrees with God our Creator who reveals His will on the matter. You are in your humanity equal to your boss, but your boss still tells you what to do, as does the government in many matters. He is higher by position.

          The claim that discipline is only for children is simply an opinion. Discipline greatly benefits adults as well. The Bible either commands or allows discipline of adults, and it also has been practiced for thousands of years in numerous cultures, who understood that people who have mature self-discipline still need to be punished sometimes. If an adult steals from work, won’t they be punished? Was self-discipline enough for them? They surely will have to accept a punishment, but in this culture it simply won’t be a physical one. I and countless other husbands stand by the benefits of spanking adult wives because it’s normal and it works.

          I do not blame women entirely for the destructive epidemic of divorce. However, feminism and alleging independence for women, has been a major factor in the dramatic divorce increase. That cannot be denied. Moreover, the large majority of divorces in America are instigated by women. The secular culture has pretty much defined “abuse” as male authority in general, if you look at their rendering of it, and this feminist definition also encourages women to leave their marriages. Divorce is documented to be destructive, and it’s not a mere “curse of today.” It is a result of turning from God’s Word, which clearly teaches the lifelong nature of marriage, and turning from respect for gender, which includes a wife’s submission to her husband. There are reasons behind the evil and insanity, and there are ways to end it.

          I have never claimed a successful marriage, Christian or otherwise, needs to have corporal punishment. I only promote it as a tool, because it frequently is a good one. Nearly all spanking in marriage in America is done with consent. However, I’d add that I do not believe philosophically that consent for discipline needs to exist apart from the consent to marry. Since I see discipline wrapped up in marriage, and a husband’s right to use, I see the only necessary consent to be the “I do” at the wedding. It is only because of the culture that a second consent is sought. A man no more needs to ask his wife if he can spank her than a government needs to ask its citizens if it may enforce its laws. Nor do the police ask you nicely if you’d mind if they write you a ticket. They just write you one. Authority works that way, and as long as the man is the head of the home, the man has a governmental right to discipline his wife.

          Many couples enjoy spanking in the bedroom, as you mention. But those urges and those feelings during the experience only point to something in their natures and their daily experience — that is the man’s leadership, and his woman following him. It’s not mere theater. It’s an expression of a greater truth.

          Take care.

        2. Edward, If you’d like to continue further discussion, you can write me at my e-mail at the bottom or on the contact page. Thanks for your interest in the subject, and willingness to be fair.

  2. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

    Last night we were sitting around the table having fun, playing cards with some of our Adult kids we were drinking some but I hardly ever drink, but last night I n had 4 too many margaritas and let’s just say I got a little sassy

  3. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

    My husband sent me to bed, he didn’t spank me but he yelled at me and he said I will deal with this situation after they go back home and we are alone. They live out of State and they leave tomorrow on a Sunday and so tomorrow sometime I will be blistered. Not looking forward to it because the awful dread of this is hard to deal with its all my mind is consumed with right now.

    1. That is tough. Sounds like it was well earned though. I know you’ll try to avoid putting yourself there again.

  4. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

    Yes, Aron I should have stopped when he warned me to stop, instead I kept on pushing and that is when he said, get up and go to bed, now!! He said from now on you will not be allowed to drink ever if this is how you will be acting, do you understand me?!! I said back to him that I am a grown woman and if I want to have a few drinks I will!! I knew better than to say that, Aron but it was the alcohol making me say these things and that is why I will be getting a spanking tomorrow. When he put me to bed he said I am so angry with you right now, what has gotten into you? I told him I was just trying to have fun like everyone else but I guess I carried it too far. I apologized and told him I am very sorry it won’t ever happen again and he smacked my bottom with his hand and it stung a little and then he said, I know it won’t you are fixing to feel some discomfort tomorrow, on your bare bottom so think on that!! Now turn over and go to sleep. I said, Yes Sir, I love you and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes at this point and then I cried because I know now it’s going to be a very long session with his belt.

    1. Thank you for sharing. I can tell your husband knows how to take care of this situation, and make sure you don’t want to try that again. A good hard session is often what it takes.

  5. Long Time Practitioner Avatar
    Long Time Practitioner

    This article is correct on every level. You are right on the cleansing effects of the entire process. I usually give my wife advance notice of a good spanking so she can prepare herself mentally for what is to come. This includes the time, place and implement or implements to be used. At the appo9nted time she meets me fully naked in either the bedroom or living room with the implements laid out by her. Sometimes I have her go cut a variety of switches that must meet with my approval or she will receive the 3/8″ PEX cane in their place. I have her kneel for a good stern talking to before anything else happens. At this time she is asking forgiveness and regretting the actions that have brought about her situation. She will then place herself across my lap for a preliminary hand spanking. I talk to her as my hand falls repeatedly on her round plump bottom cheeks turning them red… I then give her a few minutes to reflect before I put my hand out to be presented with the chosen implement. I have her kiss the implement and thank me and it for correcting her. At this point I have her over the edge of the bed or arm of a chair to begin the more serious part of the session. Every few strokes I have her kiss the implement and again thank it. She is being spoken to the entire time and asked if she has learned from it. When the spanking is finished she is either face down on the bed or standing in the corner with her red striped bottom on full display. After her bottom cools off some she thanks me properly while still fully naked. I have found that as a part of her preparing that she pre lubricates herself both front and back for my total use and pleasure. I have no problem with this and it does make anything I wish to do much smoother. When we are both fully satisfied she will cuddle her still glowing bottom to me and nap in my arms. Many times I will awaken to her gently using her lips and tongue to thank me further. I believe this is a full cleansing of her and makes her better in every way….

    1. Amy Amilf Avatar

      Thank you for sharing this Long Time. The pre-lube comment is one of those excellent ideas that seems so obvious. A “why didn’t I think of that?”
      I’m going to have my wife do that from now on.

      1. Amy Amilf Avatar

        Sorry—this was Amy’s husband. I guess she had already liked this post and didn’t log out. Well, she will be prepared!

      2. Long Time Practitioner Avatar
        Long Time Practitioner

        It makes very good sense. We are not young but have a very robust love life. If you need a little help to make it work better there is no shame in it. When my wife is spanked it is done with vigor and she can feel the effects for some time. The restoring process is much longer than the correction phase so lube works well. My wife is receptive to anything I desire to do so she prepares herself both front and back. Most of the action is centered in front but there is an occasional foray in the back entrance… It works for us!

  6. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

    Sometimes it works this way and sometimes he delivers a good hard spanking right then which I hate it because he is usually mad, I like him to spank me after he has had time to calm down first but since I am the weaker vessel I don’t have a say when he spanks, or how long or how often.

    1. Yes, I think it’s safest to take time to calm down first. Most husbands would recommend that. However, there can be an advantage in punishing in the immediacy of the moment. It is indeed his say.

  7. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

    Yes Sir, Aron it is and I love that feeling of being owned and put rightfully back into my place and in his loving good graces again.

    1. Yep always remember you’re husband is your master/authority and you must obey his commands without question. Tell him you appreciate him for everything.

      1. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

        Yes Sir

  8. jbratland Avatar

    Hello, I signed up for emails and am wondering if you can suggest books, websites, sources for my husband and I. We have just started this lifestyle and have done tons of research but it is hard to find materials out there. Any and all suggestions are helpful. In addition your website is incredible and do you offer weekly emails? We would love to read and be notified when you post something.
    This lifestyle has changed our lives. It is beyond incredible to see what it has done in our lives, as a man and wife. Thanks in advance.

    1. Hello, Thanks for your questions, and for visiting my website. I don’t send out weekly mails, but if there’s anything you’d like to discuss, you are free to write me at my email below or on the contact form. I’d love to hear from you. If you signed up, you should get a notification when there’s a new article too. My email is

      I don’t know a lot about the discipline books out there. I do link to a good website for Christian domestic discipline in the footer, that has abundant resources: There are other non-Christian sites that still have some useful material, like Bottom Smarts:

      Yes, real leadership and discipline, in the context of loving marriages, can spark incredible change in people. I love to see new couples take it up.

      Be blessed.

  9. I loved this way of describing being cleansed by a spanking. It is so true, we are guilty of disobeying our husbands so yes by accepting our punishment we do clean our disobedience away.
    It also gets rid of that lingering bad feeling within your relationship when you have disobeyed.
    For children in the family, they see parents that are happy with each other. They also know what is like to have a strong father and a gentle obedient mother. The more spanking we receive the more obedient we become, the more obedient we are the better examples to our children especially daughters

    1. That’s great you’re able to experience that cleansing as a woman. So many are not. That headship and gentle submission is a needed model for children, especially at this time when examples are hard to find. I’m glad you bring that up. It helps them to grow up to be men and women and prepares them for marriage. The stability and happiness in the home it provides is also a blessing for the children.

  10. […] ordinary meekness, to self-effacement and self-destruction. If we remember that the goal is to help a human being, one we especially love, and to restore them soon after the correction, we can find a spanking […]

  11. […] and to allow her to be noisier if she needs. I find it helps me be thorough, and allows her more release of her feelings. After being married a few years, she always came to know when a proper thrashing was coming, and […]

  12. I grew up in a nasty environment and have some wounds of the heart that remain from that time. Being exposed to many bad influences, one consequence that I’ve felt much shame over has been an addiction to pornographic material at a young age and some level of homosexual feelings. I recall being pursued by a young man but being unable to deeply bond with him, as he would either act dismissive or disgusted with the things that troubled me.

    My husband is much different and he is wonderful. He takes leadership and steers me away from negative influences (due to my upbringing I sometimes struggle to tell for myself) and ultimately helped break my addiction. While he doesn’t condone sinful thoughts and will punish me for them, he makes it clear that he loves and accepts me regardless, so I feel safe being honest about aspects of myself that I am not proud of.

    Through spanking and other forms of discipline, I have an outlet to release shame and I’ve felt much more at peace with myself as I know he is there to help correct me when I’ve veered off course. It might seem silly, but being spanked is truly a big factor in my journey of letting go of the past. It isn’t just a way of addressing little mistakes, but a powerful tool that can heal.

    1. That is very inspiring, Mimi. It takes time to be free of some of the wrong things that have penetrated our soul. Being able to place yourself under authority, confess, accept punishment, and show remorse are all important parts of being cleansed from guilt. Your past and your weak spots are unique to you, but that is a cleansing that everyone needs, and spanking very much helps with it. I am so happy you have your husband to guide you, and free you of bad influences. Spanking can indeed heal.

  13. Deserving Avatar

    I can not express the importance of my husband’s spanking sessions enough. Along with serving my husband, the cleansing feeling after a spanking is one of life’s greatest joys.

    I have often contemplated why there are so many parts that are included in a spanking by my husband. The full nudity, corner time, me taking off his belt and handing it to him, me verbally affirming his leadership and acknowledgement of my sin, kneeling before him, the blessing of a blowjob following the session, and then remorse. Each one plays an essential role in my cleansing. I know that just about the time the spanking seems too hard to take, all of my worries are released and I have the beautiful feeling of letting go of the guilt.

    As I read more of this site- I am reminded how lucky I am to live in a Godly marriage rooted in Christian principles. I am also reminded of the gift of my husbands leadership and that he lovingly guides me as a submissive wife. I am lucky to serve him and aspire to be better for him every day!

  14. I do not see this in my wife after a spanking. I actually see the extreme opposite. She becomes withdrawn and distant for a few days following a correction. We’ve only been at this for a month. It’s possible she may need more time to process this practice and to let go of her autonomous attitude before she able to experience the cleansing affects. I must admit at first she didn’t agree with marital discipline and fought me every inch of the way. Even though I’m seeing less and less resistance with each correction she still requires a couple days to process the experience before coming back to me. On most occasions she brings forth a sweeter kinder disposition other times it’s bold irritation.
    Thank you Aron for the wealth of information as I’m slowly going through your library.

    1. Hello JJ, Thank you for writing. I’m very glad the website has been a learning resource to you. Spanking can certainly be difficult for a woman to take, including afterward. If she is being cold or irritable after a spanking, naturally she is not getting everything out of the process that she should. She is still resisting it, even if internally, and likely due to pride.

      This is especially true if she was never accepting with her whole heart. She needs to commit to her submission to you, and accept that her submission encompasses her life, her body and soul. A wife who has only stepped into the water with one foot, is much more likely to step back. This is something you can work on with her, both on the level of your loving leadership, as well as firm, consistent discipline.

      Don’t just work on shaping her with spankings, but be aware of when she is beginning to step back into poor attitudes, and correct her verbally. It’s ultimately a heart matter and she needs to see clearly when the wrong attitudes begin to come in. In the long run, as she learns to submit to you, she will find the new territory under your authority much more comfortable. But she’s got to get over past attitudes, forms of thought, speech, and behavior. It takes time. Just make sure to draw the line for her clearly, and reinforce her need to step down from her pride.

      If you haven’t already, some amount of regular training could be useful for her. This will help her get accustomed to being under authority, and not hanging onto pride. It can get her used to following you without resistance. I would also recommend a good female mentor, who is experienced in being a submissive wife, who can help guide her. I’d be happy to speak with you, or your wife, and my e-mail if you write men.

      Take care.

  15. Deserving Avatar


    I wanted to give you a thought from my own experience that I never thought about specifically until I started reading Aron’s blog.

    I too wanted to shut down because I had so much shame after a spanking at the start of my marriage. I didn’t know what to do so I became quiet for a time. I don’t express myself verbally well by nature, but after a spanking I would want to isolate myself and didn’t know why.

    My husband is a strong leader, and knew he had to do more to help me fully submit and help me reach that cleansing feeling. He knew my shame was there, but being quiet and isolating was not acceptable to him.

    After speaking to a friend who also spanked his wife, the suggestion was made to add more sexual activity after a spanking. I didn’t realize it at the time, but after reading some of Aron’s beautifully written suggestions about oral training and sexual submission, it hit me. My husband knew I needed it then. Not only so I would submit and feel more cleansed after a spanking, but so we would grow closer together as man and wife. Aron wrote somewhere about “not disregarding the fruitfulness of sexual training” and that “a husband has to use sex thoughtfully and regularly to help a wife grow.” At the time I thought it was just because I was young and I needed to submit as a wife but I realize now it was much bigger than that. By requiring frequent sex as well as blowjobs after a spanking, I couldn’t retreat or isolate. Literally. It wasn’t just a random thing my husband was doing for himself, he was showing me my place in our marriage and leading me to God’s will. He was teaching me that serving him on my knees was a natural act for marriage and that it’s my duty to thank him for his headship.

    Aron also said somewhere that using intimacy to enhance a woman’s submission is natural to marriage. In my experience, the thank you blow job after a spanking brought me to the cleansing feeling I longed for, and that my husband knew I needed. To this day, around 20 years later, he still requires it after a spanking. He spanks me for my wrong doings, and then I’m given the gift of thanking him in this special act of service.

    Requiring your wife to thank you in this way might be something to try if you haven’t. It definitely forced me to let go and not try to control things or resist the cleansing feeling that is so important for a wife. It is the closest I can feel to my husband to this day, and the most cleansed I can feel.

    Just a thought from my experience and reflection as a submissive wife. I pray God blesses your marriage.

  16. elizaishis Avatar

    I definitely feel cleansed from all guilt after a spanking. It’s like a new beginning and it makes me feel even closer to my husband knowing he loves me enough to correct me, guide me and comfort me. After each spanking my desire to submit totally mind body and soul to my husband intensifies.

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