Where Can I Find a Discipline Partner

Shortly after learning about domestic discipline, either through the power of imagination or the internet (few people learn from friends), some find it very attractive and want to know where they can find someone to spank or be spanked by. It may seem like a difficult task in a society that either does not talk about spanking, or looks down on it. I suspect that most people learning about it and wanting to have it in their lives go to spanking singles websites, or perhaps spanking forums where they might meet interested men or women.

However, the place to find a partner to “spank with” is not among a special clique of people, or a shared interest group. Don’t waste your time with those places. What you need to do is go about looking for a good future husband or wife, and later plan on discipline for your marriage. Discipline is an intimate experience physically and emotionally, and for that reason does not belong outside of marriage. Nor is discipline the basis for a relationship itself, something I discussed in my article Spanking in its Rightful Place . Getting together with someone, coming up with rules, and spanking or being spanked does not a real relationship make. A real loving relationship that will involve intimacy is a lifelong union known as marriage. Appropriately, one partner in marriage, the man, has authority and has the right to use discipline. Also appropriately, the other partner is submissive to the head, and is led by him, whether he chooses to use discipline or not. That is the best setting, the most productive setting, and the safest setting for giving or receiving discipline.

A good husband or wife should be a faithful Christian, both believing and living their faith. They should be prepared to commit to the union for life, and fulfill their responsibilities within it to their spouse. They should show the virtues of their gender, and be prepared to live according to God’s role for men and women. Naturally, they should respect all the Bible teaches about this union, and be prepared to raise children, and educate them in their faith. If you meet someone like this, that is your future husband or wife. You have just met your spanking partner.

Many interested parties already know that. They wish spanking to be only in their future marriage. Nevertheless, they feel intimidated to bring up the subject because of its sensitivity. I’m sorry to say, if you want spanking in your marriage, someone is going to have to bring it up. In my personal experience, a good time to bring up the subject is when you are discussing leadership in the relationship. Since leadership is there, the question naturally comes up about how to respond to conflict, or how to respond it a wife is disobedient. and you can talk about the use or the need for spanking at this time Don’t feel limited by that option, as there may be other good times also, that’s just a time it easily fits the subject. You may also wait for a time when the woman is disrespectful or unreliable, and then bring up the subject. It’s a good time for a man to say, well let me tell you how I handle this kind of thing. Or for a woman to say, I think I should be punished sometimes.

Keeping something so intimate in marriage is nearly as important as keeping sex in marriage. Marriage is the container in which it fits naturally, organically in the relationship. The man leading is responsible, takes his role seriously, is committed to the woman, her good, and her growth for life. He knows her well, grows in understanding of her, and can give her what she needs. She is his focus of attention, not a plaything to fulfill a game. On top of this, both partners share freely in intimacy, giving their bodies fully to one another. Spanking, which is so connected with the male-female energies of sex, of both power and yielding, and always features nudity, cannot be rightly practiced by two unmarried people. It actually takes full advantage of the deep intimacy and love of the married couple in ways that would make replicating it outside marriage look shallow. The man rightfully possesses the woman’s body. He rightly can take what he pleases. He rightly disciplines her with a command of her body which only he can have.

Not only is finding a “spanking partner” outside of marriage immoral, it can be very unsafe and unstable. Looking at some of the spanking singles sites definitely gives the idea they are sleazy at best. There is also the matter of safety, which is present in dating random people online, and also in fornication. The ever present sexual dangers are there, especially for women. Spanking is nearly always sexualized to some degree. There is also the danger of attracting someone who is hiding some form of serious sadism, or hatred of women. Some people also hide their love for extreme practices, such as those found in forms of BDSM, under the guise of domestic discipline, and its safer reputation and more wholesome feel. It can be a mess trying to weed out the dangerous and the sleazy out of all that. I would be very concerned for anyone trying to find a partner that way.

It is a natural desire to want to discipline a woman. It is natural for her to desire it be done to her. When we take a look in the clear light of day at the intimate practice, it is just a tool within the broad and deep relationship of marriage. Finding a random person to make up rules and spank you if you break them is very shallow as far as love and relationships go. It is also typically  shallow as far as discipline goes, since the person does not truly love you or know you deeply. Relationships begin with love, not with spanking. Relationships begin with both partners loving God, and doing as He teaches. A person spanking you should be one who knows you, is committed to you, cares about your betterment, and has legitimate rights to your body. There is only one person who can do all that. Why play master and servant, when you can be husband and wife?