Why Use Discipline?

I want to expand on what I mention in my introduction — why do I use domestic discipline and why do I recommend it to others? Or to drop the contemporary lingo, I’d like to explain why it’s good to spank your wife. I want to get into the benefits. Let me talk a little about the benefits for my home here and our marriage, although I will get into the benefits others see in the practice elsewhere, or how women feel they benefit. Women may in fact be the most frequent promoters of wife spanking online, at least in the reading I have done, and from what I have seen on forums. Here I will focus primarily on my own experience and understanding. 

The strongest reasons for me are that wife spanking keep the peace in the home very well, and makes sure there is harmony that might otherwise be disrupted by arguing or strife. If my wife has been dismissive of her responsibilities, or if she has been argumentative, spanking very quickly bets her back where she needs to be. When I have corrected her over the knee for irresponsible behavior, I will see almost immediately she takes care of what she needs to do. The same is true for bad habits, such as lateness, which she still had when we were married. She learned to leave this childish habit behind nearly completely by learning that she would be spanked and she had to endure several early in our marriage for this reason. With minor and passing problems I certainly use talking and verbal correction, but where I see stronger bad habits or bad attitudes, I prefer giving her a spanking, as this experience seems to get through more powerfully than talking, and can be a prime motivator. It will light a fire under her.

A spanking is also good because it helps a wife with her submission, and with rightfully respecting her man. A conversation does not do this so well, or so deeply. A woman being spanked over her husband’s knee, while also verbally corrected, knows who she is submissive to very quick, as she experiences that submission through the spanking. She also experiences her man’s strength, and his firm judgment, and gets a stark reminder of the kind of respect he needs to receive. He is clearly on top. She is clearly under his authority. That short experience instills in her submission better than a million conversations would. The humbling of being undressed for a critical, non-sexual purpose, the loss of pride in being bent over in a submissive position, the firm and corrective words of her husband, and the pain of the spanking on her bottom work together extremely well. I have found that my wife is extremely responsive shortly after a spanking, even though she takes some time to calm down from her tears, The next day she has a gentleness about her, we share closeness and affection, and she responds to my words more promptly than before.  She listens closely. I do not have to tell her things twice. She is soft and subdued, and has learned again to honor my words and honor me as lord of the home. Few conversations do this. When there has been bad behavior, a spanking accomplishes if very well. The humbling, the vulnerability, the verbal instructions, and the pain work together and get her back into shape.

To expand on that, very many people who practice domestic discipline would say it reinforces both the man’s leadership and his wife’s submission. That order may naturally be there in the marriage, and it may be there in the partners’ personalities as well, but like any practice, those roles can become slack at times, and half-hearted. Both husband and wife sometimes half-step their roles. Wife spanking puts things back in order, and and firmly establishes that necessary vertical pillar. The man’s command and firmness. The woman’s softness, gentleness, yielding, and submission. Of course those two roles are based on something in nature as well – our masculinity and femininity. Spanking gives energetic life to both of those natural elements, the man knowing more clearly his need and ability to take charge, and the woman embracing fully her obedience to him, and the high honor he deserves. Other forms of discipline, while they may have some benefit, do not accomplish this or even come close. Spanking works very well on the attitude, the behavior, and the overall positions of man and wife.

Another benefit, which I suppose is related to what I’ve just mentioned, is that a spanking puts a problem fully in the past. If she has been disrespectful, or disobedient, this is not something we will feel bad over, or argue about for some long period of time. No. That may be the case in countless marriages, but it is not in ours. If she has done something warranting punishment, there is no bickering or arguing or resentment. She gets a clear correction, goes over my knee and gets spanked, and we do not talk about it or think about it again. There is peace and the problem is forgotten. That short period of trembling, crying, and hardship is far superior to screaming and yelling. It is far superior to a damaged relationship. It deals with an offense objectively, delivers punishment, inspires an apology from her and then better behavior. We don’t hear about it ever again after that. Some people think of spanking as inhumane, but the opposite is true. It is more humane than the other options, when it is warranted and beneficial.

Those are the reasons I brought spanking into our marriage from the start, and the clear benefits I’ve witnessed now repeatedly. I have never regretted it. If you asked others who practice domestic discipline, they would likely list some of the same good things about it, and surely add a few more of their own. More than a few are those who’d say it supercharged their sex life, but that has never been the main motivator for me. Disciplining my wife betters her behavior. It helps keep her soft and submissive to me. It reinforces and strengthens our roles of leadership and submission, and it puts any friction and conflict clearly in the past. It helps keep the marital relationship peaceful, productive, and smooth. I would expect you’d see some of the same rewards if you use spanking in your own marriage, and I’d like to see more couples use it. I want you to do well, and have the same rewards we have.


23 responses to “Why Use Discipline?”

  1. […] to apply discipline, I am happy with the results I see. As I write in other posts, we do not have any friction that lasts for long, and once a wrong has been punished, we don’t talk about it anymore. We […]

  2. […] firmly believe that once a man is walking forward in this way, he will at least see better how discipline fits in. He may not necessarily think he needs to use spanking as discipline, but he will see discipline as […]

  3. […] contribution you make with discipline, is in setting firm limits when they need to be set. Spanking reminds her where the […]

  4. […] talk about how to introduce discipline into your marriage, and to your partner. What the benefits of wife spanking are. How to deliver a spanking safely and effectively. Why spankings are often […]

  5. […] respectfully expresses her desires. She does not try to tell me what to do. Nearly any man would recognize that as bliss. She is beautifully submissive, and submissiveness truly is beautiful in a […]

  6. […] your husband is willing to  begin disciplining you, you should do your part to help him see its good and its effect on you. Let him see your submissiveness, and the ease with which a spanking leads […]

  7. […] thing. It should simply be understood that the man has real authority, and when he needs to he spanks his wife. It is a discipline system, just as any other in the world, with an authority, rules, and just […]

  8. […] need to keep activities quiet during a spanking is common to most households. Spanking itself is a noisy affair, between the swatting a bare backside and the cries of the lady’s […]

  9. […] want to even get married, who are downright cynical about marriage, you can know spanking can aid the harmony and peace of marriage. It is appropriate for the leadership structure as well, and the intimate nature of […]

  10. […] this reason a man should know he does not only lead his wife by making rules and enforcing them. He leads her always in everything. The sex act, and physical closeness in general, function to […]

  11. […] correction and reinforces headship and submission. It lets both parties know that the spanking was a help and benefit to the wife, and that the wife should be gracious to receive guidance and correction from her […]

  12. […] feuds, female autonomy, childish behavior, and arrogance in almost no time at all. It is very effective. Using sir, and honoring your man with his title, in one single word proclaims […]

  13. I am a spanked wore, and I agree with everything you said here.

  14. Sophia Avatar


    I continue to find inspiration in your posts. Though I am inexperienced in this process, I have always felt a strong need for the grounding effects of stern discipline. Whenever I have been struck a harsh blow in life, I am amazed at how humbled I become, grateful for the advantages I still have and compassionate towards those with less. I know that I can at times become hard and unyielding, and even though I’m aware I’m being difficult, it seems to take something larger than myself to reset. How rapturous to experience that softening at the hands of your husband within the bonds of marriage! I long to become an instrument of God, molded by the strong hands of his faithful servant. I pray that I will be able to joyfully accept discipline without resistance or resentment.

    1. That is a beautiful way to put it. I pray you do too. Chastisement is painful in the moment, but like that from God, is the given by someone who will love us, stay with us, and build us up. Keep preparing yourself to be soft in your husband’s hands!

  15. Christian Domestic Discipline is definitely humbling for us wives. I feel my pride just disappears after he spanks me.
    He is moulding me to be a proper wife and I pray he will continue to train me as a godly submissive wife.

  16. Scarlett Adam’s Avatar
    Scarlett Adam’s

    I am all for spanking in a kinky and fun way to spice up the experience in the bedroom-but actually spanking your wife is absurd. Anyone who spanks his wife without consent or as a form of “discipline” has committed a crime of sexual violence. If my husband had the audacity to “correct” my behavior, he would be in jail I pray for the women who have been taught a twisted and evil belief that she should be “submissive” to her husband.
    A marriage is about equal partnership-not a patriarchal dictatorship where a man spanks his wife because she is “late.” You have to be fucking kidding me-if she is late for dinner due to traffic and her working all day, you are going to spank her? O but you also probably women shouldn’t be contributing to society because women are “stupid.” I pray your wife slaps the sh– out of you for hurting her. Lord Jesus, please protect this woman and punish this man for his evil and wicked ways and bring him to a place of repentance.
    She is a grown woman and you are treating her like a child-and no we should not spank our children either.
    God be with you as you search your heart and ask for redemption.

    1. Dear Feminist, I wonder who made you God so that you assign good and evil to certain acts. It is very arbitrary to claim that spanking in bed = good, yet spanking in discipline = evil. I don’t buy it for a second.

      Spanking is a good and helpful discipline system, that serves many husbands in marriage. The husband, as the head of the home, has this tool available to him to correct his wife when she misbehaves. It is just, has no lasting harmful consequences, and deters the criminal from future crime.

      Like many who complain about men spanking your wives, you yourself condone punishment much crueler and harsher than a simple spanking. The callous threat that men who spank their wives should be in jail itself wishes something far worse, whose consequences include lost employment, divorce, untold cruel acts of violence, suicide, and negative repercussions down through the years and through generations. To wish that cruelty on anyone else gives you no basis to claim that spanking is wrong. You yourself justify something 1,000-times more cruel. So I wouldn’t say you are obese, but you are a Big Fat Hypocrite.

      You also make threats of “slapping the s— out of” someone, an act of anger, violence, and disrespect far less controlled than a loving corrective spanking. Once more, if you think it is acceptable to smack someone in anger, you’ve got no business complaining if men smack their wife’s behind to correct them. You believe in the same thing, but without the love and self control present in a proper spanking.

      It’s interesting you “pray to Jesus” though. Your vulgar language does not suggest you believe in Jesus. However, if you do, you ought to reread the New Testament. The Jesus who is the God of love incarnate punishes His own beloved people. HE promises believers, who are His Bride, chastisement to correct them. The New Testament teaches that God’s scourges those that He loves. He promises to beat the unfaithful servants on His return, and also promises punishment on the worse of the seven churches in Revelation. Pray to Jesus, yes, but not for a love devoid of righteousness or punishment, but for a love that will actually save us, including making us holy. The Jesus of the Bible scourges His Bride.

      No one spanks their wife like a child. Men spank their wives like an adult. Scourging adults has been practiced for thousands of years, in countless cultures across the globe. Whipping is also mandated in the Torah for certain crimes, and permitted for servants, as long as it is not injurious. Adults have a long history of receiving corporal punishment, and I can think of a few right now who could use some. In some ways, if they are mature, they are more attune to learning from being spanked than a child is. Spanking is very helpful for children by the way, and in an era in which it was nearly universal, and hardly mild at all, children behaved much better in school, and had fewer problems with crime, violence, and suicide.

      No one has ever claimed that women have nothing to contribute. Those are your words, because you just demonize those you do not like. Women are given a wonderful role by God, and by nature, in caring for the home and rearing children. They contribute an immense amount that way, in a sense being the future for our whole society, and for the Church — being the one most present with children to instill virtue in them. That role is no less nor any greater than the role of the man, who leads the home, provides and protects. Being a homemaker is more valuable than any profession in the world. Women need not act like men to contribute to society, but need only act like women.

      The man is the head of the home. The idea that marriage is egalitarian is idiotic, a complete novelty historically, and goes against all that we know. The man’s headship in marriage is supported by divine truth, by our natural differences, and by thousands of years of nearly universal cultural traditions. I will take divine truth, natural differences, and nearly all human culture over the unsupported scheme of egalitarianism. It amounts to much much stronger evidence.

      Egalitarianism has been a destroyer of families and societies, whether in marriage or elsewhere. If egalitarianism worked or were natural, it would not be connected with a society with nearly 50% divorce rate, and all the social ills that come along with divorce. That’ called a miserable failure. It would not be connected with men and women who don’t even want to get married, and when they do, cannot supply the future with enough children. It would not be connected with rampant  immorality and baby killing. Women are not men and it is absurd to think they ought to act the same.

      Moreover, egalitarianism is not at all “egalitarian.” That is why females receive advantages in entering schools and in getting jobs or promotions. It is unequal. It’s why the family courts usually side with the woman and not the man. It’s why a woman can murder a man’s baby without his consent, but a man cannot murder a woman’s baby without her consent. It’s why it is much easier for women to cry abuse than men, and why they get the attention, despite claims of equal treatment. There exists NO egalitarianism. Rather, a matriarchy, one that punishes men, and helps to destroy a civilization built by them. 

      The godly and natural family is NOT egalitarian. It has a vertical hierarchy, and mutual love. It is headed by a man, contains a loving wife and mother in the home, and provides a safe, stable virtuous environment which is good for both of them, and for the children. It represents the Savior Jesus Christ and His Church, in part by the loving headship and protection of the husband, and by the gentle submission of the wife. That is real marriage. It benefits everyone involved.

      Egalitarianism is complete garbage. It destroys what is good. It is easy to see why men don’t want to marry. Besides, men are free to use women like tools for many years, and can even live off their girlfriend’s income. Who needs marriage, especially if that’s what it is. I would not have married my wife if she had not been a submissive woman, and I don’t advise anyone else do. Don’t go jump in a lake. FInd a woman who knows you are king, who knows how to be feminine, and marry her. That makes a marriage.

      Most objections you will hear are answered already here: https://spankingyourwife.wordpress.com/2020/07/18/spanking-is-bad-mkay/

      And here: https://spankingyourwife.wordpress.com/2020/07/18/jesus-sat-spanking-is-bad-mkay-part-2-of-2/

      I pray you get to know Jesus better. Not the Jesus of your imagination, but the Jesus of the Bible, who reigns over all.

      1. “No one has ever claimed that women have nothing to contribute.”

        That’s actually pretty much the feminist claim in a nutshell. Women doing what women have always done contribute nothing—we should be “able” to do what men do, so that we can “contribute”, because what we do is nothing.

        There is really no more misogynistic view than that women aren’t valuable unless we’re behaving like men.

    2. Patriarchy is how good men protect the women they love from bad men.

      It’s not a good thing in the hands of bad men. But then, nothing is.

  17. DD is a great tool to create a happy marriage and I really don’t know why isn’t more popular. I’ve met a lot unhappy marriages (even close to divorce) that bacame the happy ones just because of DD. It’s not an easy journey, as a HOH I need to be an example for my wife, it’s a full time job. I need remember to correct and discipline my wife. Also for my wife it isn’t easy to follow my rules, keep herself in a line, it isn’t easy to get spanking. But profits of this lifestyle are huge, much bigger than the energy we using to stay in DD marriage.
    For my it’s easier, my parents are in DD marriage, for my wife everything was new. I’m proud of her, beggings weren’t easy for her but right now she knows her role, and that DD is somenthing good for her and our marriage. We are a really good and happy couple.

    1. Thank you for your comment, Adam. I’m really happy to hear you can see the major benefits in wife spanking. If people knew how good it was, more would certainly try it out. That’s a big part of why I started this website. I would love to see more homes with marital discipline. It can work wonders in marital harmony. Congratulations on your success with domestic discipline, Adam!

    2. jmcb1429 Avatar

      Congratulations! Did your mother talked about the benefits with your wife?

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