Description of a Discipline Session

Let me give you a review of a recent discipline session I had with my wife, and which was very successful. As I sometimes do, I used it to correct her in several areas, in large part because I didn’t have to time to address each individually. That is my own fault. I disciplined her for not staying in contact with me when I try to reach her by phone, as well as for putting off several things I told her repeatedly to do. These were in purchasing clothes for our children, and in assignments for one of our children’s art lessons. Those last two items has been put off for weeks, and I had the feeling she knew something was coming.

I’d spoken to her very seriously the previous day about not staying in contact, and she recognized my tone. I was unaccepting of any excuses. There had been several times I’d needed to talk with her about it recently, and the latest one was the worst. There was little surprise in her voice when I gave her the news of our session the next day. It was her first spanking in well over two months. I thought she would go longer, but when she ignores things I’ve told her to do, there is no way I am going to ignore her discipline.

I spoke to her late in the evening, later than I usually do. We finished a devotional, and were in my office. Before she left I told her we’d have to have a talk tonight. I informed her why, without her asking anything. I got little argument or excuse-making then, which I always appreciate. I think that comes down to the fact that she knew her wrong, and knows it is serious to just brush off what I tell her. Understanding a wrong helps greatly in receiving discipline and growing from it. I think she’s also come to know there isn’t much point in argument, since it just doesn’t work with me.

She went upstairs immediately, and prepared herself as I’d told her before to prepare. I gave her a few minutes, and then came up to join her, finding her kneeling before our bed, mostly undressed. I sat down before her and made sure she looked me in the eye while I spoke to her. I reminded her that these are things I’ve spoken to her about before. The work I gave her to do for our child had already been put off for weeks, and she’d heard about it more than once. I asked — You understand this is serious? You understand our home does not work if you brush off what I’ve told you? Can you see how you disrespect your husband?

“I think you have a very good idea of why this is going to happen, and I think you are prepared to listen to your man and learn a lesson right now. That behavior is not acceptable in this home.” I patted my leg several times — “Get over my knee.”

She placed herself over my lap, not knowing whether to keep her legs off the bed or on it. I grabbed her waist and lifted them on. I got a few fingers under her panties and snatched them down, and picked up the loopy which I had next to me.

“Did you disregard my words to you, woman?” Yes sir. “This is what you get for that behavior.”

I gave her a dozen or so hard swats with the loop. As I continued to lecture, and ask questions, I would give her at least ten between each short talk. Towards the end, as I was just punctuating my point, and reminding her of her lesson, I would give fewer at a time, but more closely spaced.

A few points I gave her during her spanking:

*When you are gone I expect you to respond to my messages. I have told you this before. You either need to have the volume on to hear it, or you need to check periodically. Your man should not have to call for hours just to get through.

*Contacting you is important, and I often need to ask something and need an answer quickly. You are responsible to communicate with me.

*You may not put off responsibilities I give you, and I should never have to ask so many times for you to get the done. Never. You disrespect your man when you do that. My word to you is a command, not a suggestion.

*Your responsibilities help manage the home and help care for the children. Ignoring them hurts both of those things. You need to remember that. You harm this home when you dismiss your duties.

*If you don’t listen to your man when I speak to you, I know you will do a good job of listening when I speak to you this way, over my knee. I think you listen very attentively over my knee. I think you remember my words better when you are right here.

*Anytime you treat my words like they are suggestions, you can know you will end up right here, getting spanked. Do you want to have to repeat this? If you disregard my words you will.

*I expect your work to be done by the end of the week. You make sure that happens. If I do not see it done by Friday, you will end up over my knee again and we will repeat this.

*You need to respect your man’s words. You need to keep in contact with me by phone. You need to get all of your responsibilities done.

*Do you understand who is in charge here? Do you know who you have to obey? Is that work going to get done? 

*I expect to see that from you soon. I will be looking for it. You do not ever dismiss my word again.

When I was done giving her the spanking, I gave her ten minutes in the corner to calm down. She was not crying as much as she usually does, which was curious to me. I think the time to calm down is good either way, since I know it can be difficult to collect her thoughts just after being spanked, and to communicate well.

After her corner time, she returned to her knees in front of me, and I asked her to tell me what lesson she had learned. I asked her to explain what her future behavior would be. She assured me everything would be done by the end of the week. I told her I knew she could do it, and I looked forward to her getting it done. I had complete confidence in her. I told her I love her and care deeply for her, even when I need to correct her. When she is over my knee I do not stop caring for her, and I correct her both for her good and for the good of our home. I know I will see better things from her in the future. Then she came into my arms and I held her for a short time, and kissed her tenderly.

As I expected, and as I’d seen before, the session was very effective. She immediately got back to her work the next day. She ordered the clothes. She made sure our boy was getting the assignments in his artwork I’d told her about. Everything was taken care of before the end of the week, which was two days away. I did remind her during that time that I needed to see it, and she was diligent in her duties, which is what she should have been to begin with, when I gave her the responsibilities the first time. I didn’t hear any complaining from her either. She didn’t pout about it. She put my words into action.

While I didn’t think the spanking I gave her was very hard, I discovered two days afterward that her bottom still ached from it. That’s something I discovered while giving her a playful swat or squeeze as I sometimes do. It was mildly sore on the third day as well. I found that surprising, especially since she had not cried as much as usual, but perhaps the number of strokes, which I’d been sure to pile on, added up to some soreness. I find that appropriate, as she was taking care of fixing the problem over those two days, and was at the same time feeling the soreness as a reminder of my lesson to her, as well as a reminder of who’s in charge — her husband. That’s about the way it’s supposed to work, although often it’s only sore for a day. Spankings can and should be reminders into the future.

As I’ve said before, I have to respect my wife for being humble and strong enough to receive the lesson that I gave her that evening, and to respond very well to it. She immediately reversed her behavior and obeyed her man’s word, although we’ll still see about the phone contact. I am pleased with the results. I am pleased with her for learning, and for responding to her spanking in a mature way. Those are things I expect and desire to see.


23 responses to “Description of a Discipline Session”

  1. […] out immediately. Bad habits go away. Things she needed to do but neglected badly get done promptly after our little talks. My wife knows she is under my authority, and her behavior needs to be good. She has learned […]

  2. […] some others. But it will often be more effective than others that you wield, in softening her and bringing her her back into line. That is some of what your wife would like you to grasp when she tells you she sometimes needs to […]

  3. […] or two — you should settle on what you find best to aid her in her attitude and behavior, and to fix problems that come along. Don’t be worried if your frequency is significantly different from another […]

  4. […] that practice spanking will testify their upsets or offenses are over quickly. Once the wife has been spanked and restored, all is new and it is never mentioned […]

  5. […] times she has that reminder with her. I may let her sit on a pillow, but I want her to feel it. If she has had a spanking for neglecting her responsibilities, when she immediately gets back to doing them, she is feeling […]

  6. […] that it is the superior form of discipline. Sometimes you need to take her off the pedestal, and light a fire under […]

  7. […] My words work well and quickly since she knows I would not hesitate to put her over my knee and tan her backside. Just as I have seen her behavior change immediately after she got spanked, I have seen it change […]

  8. […] what I have told her many times and not do it, she ends up thoroughly and firmly spanked, and then she does it immediately. Make sure to take note of serious infractions, and be consistent in disciplining your wife for […]

  9. […] sometimes find people scratching their heads as to why spanking is such a sexual act, or trying to figure out why men love to smack some butt when they are making […]

  10. […] head, caring about her behavior, and keeping her on the rails, with his words and actions. Just as a spanking session punishes the offense and also reinforces a woman’s submission, the thank you shows […]

  11. […] and disrespectful of her boyfriend. I told her — If my wife did any thing like that, I would punish her. She would never get away with that. My friend was surprised, and asked me how I punished my wife. […]

  12. […] I don’t need to spank her often for disobedience, or the more direct kinds of disrespect. Most of her spankings have been for neglecting to do what she needed to do, including things which I’d instructed her […]

    1. That’s similar to me. When women in long term marriages have been submissive and Taken in hand for years it’s second nature to obey and comply but it’s also easier to let small things slide and they can build up like a snowball effect. So while I’m not having arguments and resisting HoH I may forget certianly duties that I’ve had more than enough time to get done. Master A is fair and our rules are talked out and nothing is sprung upon me that I don’t know about, I know when I I’ve done wrong. So it’s something to watch for. Okay I don’t drive fast of reckless, drink or smoke and I monitor my daughters as both HoH and I know how dangerous the World is for females however I’m not the best at delegation of chores and will end up doing my daughters for them which teaches them nothing. I’ve been warned about this. I’m working on it and kneel in prayer asking for strength. My lovely Husband always prays with me in our Morning devotional together with our coffee I make. I know ill get there. By the way, your wife sounds like a very strong submissive woman of great virtue

      1. Thank you. Yes, my wife is a woman of virtue and embraces her role as a submissive wife. She has her moments of struggle, and her weaknesses, but she works on them, and is humble enough to accept correction from me. I highly respect her virtue and integrity.

  13. It’s lovely to hear you speak highly of your wife. This is the ideal Marriage we aspire to. It’s not abuse of power or a resentful wife groaning at her submissive life. The Love between a God centered Married couple is worth more than silver and Gold.

  14. Deserving Avatar

    Thank you for this detailed description. I was thinking about how difficult it is for people to wrap their minds around discipline in marriage who haven’t experienced it growing up or even for those who knew it growing up but are young and just beginning the path of righteousness in a holy marriage.

    Although every marriage is different, what a breath of fresh air to see a session clearly laid out. You always do such a great job of responding to posts and meeting each person where they are in marriage with supportive counsel- all while being honest about what marriage should be. But this post truly lays it out there and gives a beautiful description of a spanking session in a clear way.

    I think sometimes the struggle of a spanking session whether it be in a new or long marriage can be not knowing what to expect, how to start, or frankly what to do. The fear of the unknown. The courage for a wife to submit to her husband and the husband to discipline his wife can be daunting.

    Your specific words help all. The timing and words are truly helpful. It feels wonderful to know that you know that some need this in order to get started or know they are in the right path.

    I respect your insight and clear direction. This post is extremely effective and needed, and truly helps both men and wives. Thank you.

    1. Hello Deserving, I am very honored you appreciate the articles. I have several others that give detailed descriptions of similar discipline sessions. I think it’s important for readers to see a description, in terms of the spanking itself, as well as in terms of the communication, lecturing, restoration, and other rituals.

      Many men and women certainly have only a vague idea of how a spanking session would work, and others have gained an idea from bdsm instead. I also hope it offers some insights for those couples already experienced. Either way, and whomever it manages to teach, each couple usually ends up with their own unique way to do things. there is no formula, but I think it’s important to see the basic parts of the spanking in play.

      Have a blessed day.

  15. Hi Aron,
    I would love to see a guest post by your wife sometime as to how she feels about all this. Maybe she isn’t into sharing. I would just love to hear her perspective.
    I know reading this sort of thing touches me really deeply. I don’t really know why. It is clear you are not playing around and your wife knows you are in charge. And yet somehow it comes across as so incredibly nurturing and loving at the same time.

    1. Hello Heather, Thank you. I do my best to seek to be firm, and also nurturing to my wife during her correction. I want to steer her rightly, and she should know the punishment is delivered by one who cares deeply for her. My wife doesn’t usually do much writing, but if she is interested, I will post one by her sometime.

      Many blessings.

  16. Thank you for this article! I’m continuing to grow in my submission and really grasping the love and devotion it takes my husband to care enough not only for me but our marriage to discipline. The appreciation may not be at the time of a spanking, but once I reflect on his desire for betterment of me and his household it makes my love grow deeper. So I loving accept discipline in any from, a physical spanking, verbal correction, homework assignments, etc. So many marriages go without a husband giving more than him working and paying for things, no communication, no effort to show interest in the family. How loving it is when a husband takes so much love & care into his marriage! Thank you for sharing how beautiful & loving discipline can be!

    1. You’re welcome. I’m very glad it can help you see the husband’s loving care when he disciplines his wife. That is care he ought to show every day. A discipline session may hurt at the time, but a wife should be grateful for her man’s guidance. Bless you.

  17. Hello! I’ve been reading your posts for a little while now, and I have a few questions for you. But first, I have to explicitly state that I fully respect you, your religion, your family, and what you choose to do with your life. I’m a God fearing woman myself, and I understand different people have different interpretations and beliefs. I’m not trying to be antagonistic in any way, I just want your honest answers to these questions and to possibly start a conversation
    1. Do you spank your children as well? If so, how old are they?
    2. Do you really believe this is what He truly wants?
    3. Have you ever been to a therapist or psychiatrist?
    4. When your wife cries when you give her discipline, do you feel any sort of guilt?
    5. Do you think all married couples would benefit from this?
    6. As a woman, am I a lesser human being to you?
    7. How would you feel if you were in pain for days simply because you didn’t answer your phone? Or if you were in your wife’s shoes in general?

    1. Hello A, Thanks for your questions. I hope my website has been helpful to you. I’ve heard from people who come here fully prepared to reject everything, but come over time to understand marital discipline better, and sometimes participate in it themselves.

      1: I don’t generally discuss spanking of children on this website, nor do I share the ages of my children. However, the Bible teaches parents to spank their children, and the effects of such discipline are very good. In an era when it was commoner than today, you had FEWER children disrespecting or attacking their teachers, getting involved in crime, practicing fornication, failing to become literate, contracting STDs, using filthy language, being generally rebellious, on psychiatric medication, shooting and stabbing people, or committing suicide.

      2: By “this” I am assuming you mean wife spanking. I believe, as the Bible clearly teaches, that the man has authority over his wife. That means he is free to use spanking as discipline if he desires. In terms of knowing God’s will for particular choices in life, I don’t believe we get new and special revelation in that regard. So God does not tell us infallibly if we should make that choice. However, He DOES tell us infallibly in the Bible that a husband has the authority to do so, and that chastisement is good.

      3: I don’t know why I would ever consider that. I have peace and health in my soul through fellowship with Christ and with the brethren. You could put most of the psychiatric industry out of work overnight just by having faith in Christ, and doing what He said.

      4: In general I do not feel sorry for my wife when I spank her and she cries. Perhaps on occasion. I know that discipline is good for her, and is good for people in general. I know that her sorrow is passing, and that punishment is just, considering the crime. I know that she earned it. So while I don’t enjoy seeing her cry while she’s spanked, I consider it good that she does. Crying can be very helpful, especially for a woman. My own firmness and sternness during the spanking are also important to her, in seeing the seriousness of her wrong, and in being spanked accordingly.

      5: I believe nearly any marriage would benefit if the husband clearly led his wife, and spanked her when she deserved it. Certainly. I rejoice at seeing more couples start it, and I’ve seen quite a few couples start since I began the website in 2020. There may be unique instances when spanking should not be used, but in general it is helpful, and is more efficient than other kinds of punishment. I do have an article — When to Pause or End Spanking — which deals with possible times to avoid spanking.

      6: I don’t know how anyone reading my website would get the idea that a person in charge is better, and a person under authority is less. I make it clear throughout that the difference is one of position. I am not lesser than my boss, but I am under him by position, and I need to obey him.

      Similarly, a wife is not lesser in her nature to her husband, but is inferior by position. It can also be seen that both man and wife have strengths given by God that make them best at that position, the man as leader, and the wife as helper. God gave us our design which brilliantly fit the roles he gave us. But both sexes are made in the image of God.

      7: I’ll rephrase the question a bit to reflect reasons for a marital spanking more broadly: How would I feel if my butt was sore for couple of days if I’d been telling lies, disrespecting my boss, using filthy language, being negligent of my duties, endangering the children, or showing up late all the time without calling?

      Well, I’d feel sore, is what I’d feel. I’d also feel humbled, and want to avoid such a punishment again. I’d want clear instructions on how I could avoid it, and try to do better in the future. I’d also be grateful to have avoided the destruction caused by sin and disobedience, only having received a very brief sting of that pain. I’d be glad the situation was over, and we wouldn’t be dealing with it again. I’d be objectively clean of any guilt.

      Spanking, as I note various times here at Spank Your Wife, is far more humane than many punishments in the world, including those which men receive. Punishments like losing your job, being shunned, having to pay a large fine, or being thrown in a cage full of violent criminals, make spanking pale by comparison. So let’s not get too choked up about the fact that a spanking hurts. It is a healing punishment, and its effects are far milder and more short lived than most others.

      I hope that answers your questions, and offers some insight, even though the first answer by necessity is limited.

      Very happy to hear you trust in the Lord Jesus. Be blessed.

Leave a Reply