Let me give you a review of a recent discipline session I had with my wife, and which was very successful. As I sometimes do, I used it to correct her in several areas, in large part because I didn’t have to time to address each individually. That is my own fault. I disciplined her for not staying in contact with me when I try to reach her by phone, as well as for putting off several things I told her repeatedly to do. These were in purchasing clothes for our children, and in assignments for one of our children’s art lessons. Those last two items has been put off for weeks, and I had the feeling she knew something was coming.
I’d spoken to her very seriously the previous day about not staying in contact, and she recognized my tone. I was unaccepting of any excuses. There had been several times I’d needed to talk with her about it recently, and the latest one was the worst. There was little surprise in her voice when I gave her the news of our session the next day. It was her first spanking in well over two months. I thought she would go longer, but when she ignores things I’ve told her to do, there is no way I am going to ignore her discipline.
I spoke to her late in the evening, later than I usually do. We finished a devotional, and were in my office. Before she left I told her we’d have to have a talk tonight. I informed her why, without her asking anything. I got little argument or excuse-making then, which I always appreciate. I think that comes down to the fact that she knew her wrong, and knows it is serious to just brush off what I tell her. Understanding a wrong helps greatly in receiving discipline and growing from it. I think she’s also come to know there isn’t much point in argument, since it just doesn’t work with me.
She went upstairs immediately, and prepared herself as I’d told her before to prepare. I gave her a few minutes, and then came up to join her, finding her kneeling before our bed, mostly undressed. I sat down before her and made sure she looked me in the eye while I spoke to her. I reminded her that these are things I’ve spoken to her about before. The work I gave her to do for our child had already been put off for weeks, and she’d heard about it more than once. I asked — You understand this is serious? You understand our home does not work if you brush off what I’ve told you? Can you see how you disrespect your husband?
“I think you have a very good idea of why this is going to happen, and I think you are prepared to listen to your man and learn a lesson right now. That behavior is not acceptable in this home.” I patted my leg several times — “Get over my knee.”
She placed herself over my lap, not knowing whether to keep her legs off the bed or on it. I grabbed her waist and lifted them on. I got a few fingers under her panties and snatched them down, and picked up the loopy which I had next to me.
“Did you disregard my words to you, woman?” Yes sir. “This is what you get for that behavior.”
I gave her a dozen or so hard swats with the loop. As I continued to lecture, and ask questions, I would give her at least ten between each short talk. Towards the end, as I was just punctuating my point, and reminding her of her lesson, I would give fewer at a time, but more closely spaced.
A few points I gave her during her spanking:
*When you are gone I expect you to respond to my messages. I have told you this before. You either need to have the volume on to hear it, or you need to check periodically. Your man should not have to call for hours just to get through.
*Contacting you is important, and I often need to ask something and need an answer quickly. You are responsible to communicate with me.
*You may not put off responsibilities I give you, and I should never have to ask so many times for you to get the done. Never. You disrespect your man when you do that. My word to you is a command, not a suggestion.
*Your responsibilities help manage the home and help care for the children. Ignoring them hurts both of those things. You need to remember that. You harm this home when you dismiss your duties.
*If you don’t listen to your man when I speak to you, I know you will do a good job of listening when I speak to you this way, over my knee. I think you listen very attentively over my knee. I think you remember my words better when you are right here.
*Anytime you treat my words like they are suggestions, you can know you will end up right here, getting spanked. Do you want to have to repeat this? If you disregard my words you will.
*I expect your work to be done by the end of the week. You make sure that happens. If I do not see it done by Friday, you will end up over my knee again and we will repeat this.
*You need to respect your man’s words. You need to keep in contact with me by phone. You need to get all of your responsibilities done.
*Do you understand who is in charge here? Do you know who you have to obey? Is that work going to get done?
*I expect to see that from you soon. I will be looking for it. You do not ever dismiss my word again.
When I was done giving her the spanking, I gave her ten minutes in the corner to calm down. She was not crying as much as she usually does, which was curious to me. I think the time to calm down is good either way, since I know it can be difficult to collect her thoughts just after being spanked, and to communicate well.
After her corner time, she returned to her knees in front of me, and I asked her to tell me what lesson she had learned. I asked her to explain what her future behavior would be. She assured me everything would be done by the end of the week. I told her I knew she could do it, and I looked forward to her getting it done. I had complete confidence in her. I told her I love her and care deeply for her, even when I need to correct her. When she is over my knee I do not stop caring for her, and I correct her both for her good and for the good of our home. I know I will see better things from her in the future. Then she came into my arms and I held her for a short time, and kissed her tenderly.
As I expected, and as I’d seen before, the session was very effective. She immediately got back to her work the next day. She ordered the clothes. She made sure our boy was getting the assignments in his artwork I’d told her about. Everything was taken care of before the end of the week, which was two days away. I did remind her during that time that I needed to see it, and she was diligent in her duties, which is what she should have been to begin with, when I gave her the responsibilities the first time. I didn’t hear any complaining from her either. She didn’t pout about it. She put my words into action.
While I didn’t think the spanking I gave her was very hard, I discovered two days afterward that her bottom still ached from it. That’s something I discovered while giving her a playful swat or squeeze as I sometimes do. It was mildly sore on the third day as well. I found that surprising, especially since she had not cried as much as usual, but perhaps the number of strokes, which I’d been sure to pile on, added up to some soreness. I find that appropriate, as she was taking care of fixing the problem over those two days, and was at the same time feeling the soreness as a reminder of my lesson to her, as well as a reminder of who’s in charge — her husband. That’s about the way it’s supposed to work, although often it’s only sore for a day. Spankings can and should be reminders into the future.
As I’ve said before, I have to respect my wife for being humble and strong enough to receive the lesson that I gave her that evening, and to respond very well to it. She immediately reversed her behavior and obeyed her man’s word, although we’ll still see about the phone contact. I am pleased with the results. I am pleased with her for learning, and for responding to her spanking in a mature way. Those are things I expect and desire to see.
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