Make Spanking Normal Again

I look forward to seeing a restored order in the home in this culture at large. A restored order would include a respect for the man’s authority, and with it the regular use of discipline. That seems very far away, but sometimes great changes can happen almost overnight, in the historical sense at least. You don’t always see where they’re coming from. Or perhaps a few minor currents appear, don’t seem to add up to much, but then they become a flood and cause unexpectedly large change.

What would count as normal? I don’t think to be normal the practice needs to be something absolutely flooding the culture. Nor does it need to be talked about constantly and at every occasion. For real authority, and naturally spanking in the home to be normal, I’d expect that it is no longer hidden, or treated as shameful, or scorned. It is something many would expect a marriage to contain. Along with authority comes discipline, and one form of discipline is spanking.

Discipline would be discussed as a possible result of a wife’s bad behavior, when marriage or the home are discussed. Spanking would come up when couples talk about planning for marriage and the relationship they expect to have. Women would not be ashamed to mention that they had been spanked before, and men would teach spanking as an option when discussing being head of the home and head of the wife. Most people would expect, that if they heard a wife mouth off to their husband, or saw her be lazy about the home, that she might end up getting spanked. Most people would understand that if a husband gave his wife that look, or that tone, she might be in for a trip over his knee. That would be normal .

That doesn’t mean that there is no shame about it, as sometimes being disciplined in ANY way brings shame. Most women do not always want to discuss a long tearful lesson they had to learn. It doesn’t mean that it should be treated as a cure to every ill, or an everyday thing either. It should simply be understood that the man has real authority, and when he needs to he spanks his wife. It is a discipline system, just as any other in the world, with an authority, rules, and just punishment.

I could envision two ways to make spanking normal again. The first is, as I mentioned to start, with a real change in the culture in understanding the order of the home, and the man’s authority. That would not indicate an immediate broad acceptance of spanking, but a broad acceptance of the man’s real authority. Along with authority, unless we really twist what it means, would be an acceptance and understanding of discipline for those who are under authority. If we understand that discipline is used in marriage, then it becomes merely arbitrary to reject spanking as a possible use of it. I see a recognition of the benefits of spanking, and its fitting use in marriage, coming along with a recognition of authority and discipline. Some still think that’s a far cry from what they see happening, but I believe if the natural and biblical order in the home is broadly respected, the man’s right to apply discipline is also respected, including giving his wife a necessary and unpleasant trip over his knee.

The other way I can see spanking returned to normalcy in western culture is through spanking simply growing in popularity as a practice, or as a kink, in any number of relationships. If it becomes popular culturally, including in the immoral and illicit relationships the culture celebrates, that broad acceptance will cover an acceptance within marriage, including traditional ones in which man is in charge. Spanking would be talked about, and openly known about, but it would be among all sorts — fornicators, sodomites, role-reversal marriages, and normal ones. The traditional husband who spanks his wife might seem like the Ward Cleaver version of the rest, but he would be accepted and would not be hesitant to speak of giving discipline. Naturally, I don’t view this passage to normalizing spanking as the better one — I view it as the poorer one — but it would still provide an open forum for a good and beneficial practice and also allow such a beneficial practice to be shared much more openly and commonly with others. I can see this helping. The children of the darkness are rooted and founded on what is wrong, but factually speaking, they get some things right: The good use of spanking is not unknown to them.

As you can see, I care about people knowing about spanking and benefiting from it. That is primarily the reason I put up this webpage and guide. It is for the learning and benefit of others. It is for the aid of marriages. I don’t think such a guide should need to be anonymous, but in this culture which demonizes wife spanking, it should be. The cultural change I speak about, which I look forward to seeing soon, will help me and others be able to teach and share experiences much more openly, and with full personal details. Discipline simply cannot be taken away from authority. Or vice versa. An authority who has no power to discipline might as well not be one. Discipline outside of authority is more or less a game. Remember, anyone who threatens the right of the husband to discipline his wife, is threatening the right of the husband to be the authority. He is attacking the head of the home. To make spanking normal again, is to make authority normal. A woman should love and honor her husband, and be treated with love and tenderness. but if she ever thinks to rebel, she has every right to fear.


26 responses to “Make Spanking Normal Again”

  1. I’ll leave a comment in two parts. The first part I hope you are right, we need for the culture to get back in balance. The second part, I am on a number of parenting forums. Now with the plague it certainly seems like people are starting to spank their children more. And willing to admit it (and yes the anti are still objecting). If your child decides to wander down the street to see his friend because he is bored. And brings back sickness… Well it needs to be stopped and you don’t have room to negotiate. So I do see some signs that things are coming around. perhaps the best thing to come of this will be better attitudes for marriage and children. I hope so, keep on preaching, hopefully it will start to get momentum.

    1. Thank you for the encouragement. It’s much appreciated. There have indeed been some surprising and fast changes due to the virus. One positive one, beyond what you mention, is that more women will be at home, and with their children — which is where they should be and where they are needed most.

      Perhaps what you mentioned will help make spanking normal again, but it is needed among adults too. While I don’t get into it much on this site, I believe corporal punishment is valid as a civil punishment as well, which was practiced for many centuries. It certainly seems more beneficial than warehousing people in prisons, and the many layers of ill effects that prison has. All it takes is one state or city to give it a try.

      I hope this site gets more people seriously considering it, at least within marriage. Be blessed.

  2. […] see some of the same rewards if you use spanking in your own marriage, and I’d like to see more couples use it. I want you to do well, and have the same rewards we […]

  3. […] happy and peaceful. We seek to live out what God teaches us in His Word and do it as a family. I want that for others, and I truly hate to see the destruction, anger, and breaking down of so many marriages, with the […]

  4. […] those terms for a time of discipline. In a better world, I believe it would be good to use them normally though, and I hope to see that better world […]

  5. […] a few people, but in the future, if the culture changes regarding spanking, we may be able to be more open. My friend still knows. If she tries to ruin my future presidential campaign, so be it. So far she […]

  6. Old movies are filled with scenes of women being taken over the knee of their husband or beau! Sometimes under the approving nod or conspiratorial smile of an elder. If you look closely, it was always portrayed as something that would strengthen the marriage and bring them closer together, restoring harmony and order. The move of a wise husband who’d come to the end of his patience. Despite her protests and squeals, the woman always seemed to have newfound respect for the man. Kudos to the old-fashioned man!

    1. Christian Avatar

      Yes, it is often like that in Danish movies, too. And more often than not the wife’s mother agrees with her husband that the young wife should be spanked when she has behaved irresponsibly. I have tried it with my first wife a few times, and it had a good effect and we made up and made love soon after – even though she definitely did not like to get spanked, but was sensible enough to admit that she had deserved it.

      1. Thank you for your comment, Christian. I would think that the mother would understand that her daughter sometimes needs to be spanked because of her bad behavior. She has probably seen the need for it before. Spanking generally has a good effect on a wife, even if she does not feel like receiving it. I have seen its good many times over.

  7. Concerned boyfriend Avatar
    Concerned boyfriend

    Is it ok to spank your girlfriend’s best female friend when you find out she is the source of her bad behavior?

    1. Hello, Spanking is an intimate activity, on multiple levels. Its only right place is in marriage. However, even if the situation you describe were in a marriage, you do not engage in that intimate activity with anyone but your wife. If she has a friend who is leading her to bad behavior, you correct your wife for that behavior, and if it’s an ongoing problem, you tell her she may not see her friend anymore. I hope that helps clear things up.

      1. Hi great advice! Ultimately your wife has to be making wise choices. So “It was her fault” doesn’t fly. My wife had friends, especially one, that weren’t the greatest influences. She would overspend, stay out too late and other things that weren’t the best for her or us as a couple. I warned her earlier in the marriage and tried to get her to make good or better choices around them until finally I spanked her.
        The next time she called before spending over her budget, I told her no and she went over “It’s just a little” was her reasoning. I put her over my lap,dress up, panties down and gave her a really sound spanking this time. In looking for her panties that had been kicked off she said, “You spanked the panties off me!”
        (Now if she’s really going to get it I’ll tell her “I am going to spank the panties right off of you!” And I do! I know if she’s kicking and fussing that much she’s feeling it.)
        It wasn’t always but going with these women was becoming the main reason my wife was being spanked but she wasn’t giving up the bad habits. She once came home and came downstairs bare bottomed and handed me the hairbrush telling me she was ready. I inquired about her behavior, she’d overspent, was late and had a couple of drinks and drove. Time for a serious lesson! She didn’t sit comfortably for three days then I gave her a follow up equal to the original. A few weeks later she wanted to go out again. I said okay. this time before she dressed I had her go face down on the bed for the belt. A good strapping on her bottom and thighs and she felt it all day even when walking around. She didn’t overspend, she was home on time and didn’t drink!
        We used that tactic the next couple of times it seemed to sink in and her trips with these particular friends became few and far between. She’s become friends with other women and started seeing the negative sides of her other friends. So much so that when they came up in discussion she once said “they all need spankings.”
        She also takes responsibility for her actions more than ever and has gotten spanked less and less. We have a great relationship and I have a great low maintenance wife!JN

        1. Thank you for your comment. Your care and persistence certainly worked, and that is often what it takes. Protecting your wife from bad influences, and protecting her virtue, are a part of what the man’s leadership is all about. That firmness let her know where the lines are, and why it is important. You did a good job of teaching her. A spanked woman is usually bettered as a result.

  8. While I think everyone has the right to live their life as they see fit if they do no harm to others, I also think believing Christians, once they accept Christ as their savior, are under obligation to lead biblically informed lives. A believing Christian wife accepts that God’s plan is for a male authority to rule over her. Our minister tells us that In God’s plan it will be the husband who God will hold accountable if his wife is a believing Christian who obey him in ” All Things” as the Church “obeys Christ. While it might seem harsh a Christian wife has no rights whatsoever when it comes to the authority their husband has over them. However, in the wisdom of God’s word that at the same time a Christian Husband will be held accountable the way he rules over his wife. A husband is not just the punisher of his wife but her protector as well. Her wellbeing is his responsibly. Given Women’s nature, which God for his own purposes have given them, a husband will be obligated on occasion, whether he likes it not, to put his wife “under the lash”: because she simply cannot. as God requires of her, be submissive and obedient to her husband otherwise.

    One thing that has become completely lost in the marriage ceremony is that beside putting God’s sanction on the merging of two individuals, a man, and a wife, into a union, it is also the passing of authority from the father to the Husband, who will have even greater authority over her than her father because submission now includes sexual submission. All three of our daughters walked down the aisle and swore in the presence of God to obey their husband feeling the effects of 50 lashes with the strap, a strap later given to their husband who was encouraged to use it when needed and on their wedding night. This was not to be cruel, but to ensure these new wives would connect their vows of obedience with the consequence of disobedience. What a young girl is doing at the marriage altar is before witnesses submitting to her new master. What a new husband is doing at the altar before witnesses is assuming his authority over his wife.

    The newly married couple also taking on the most serious obligation they have, to raise their sons to be wise rulers in the household they will lead someday and their daughters to accept their proper roles as wives and mothers. Daughters must be trained to be efficient and diligent in domestic chores. The parents must also teach by example, the father by his firm but fair leadership only punishing for bad behavior and the mother by her obedience and submission and equally important, openly and obediently accepting punishment in any manner her husband decides if he decrees she is to be punished.

    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Bob.

      I do have to add to your opening statement, which suggests a “live and let live” theology for most of mankind. God’s law is for everyone, not just for Christians. Even the pagan has a form of the law on their hearts, and knows they must obey God, even if they don’t want to. Righteousness is good for ALL of mankind. Wickedness is harmful for all.

      So the band is fairly narrow where we can say — do what you want and try not to hurt anyone. That’s like when you send the kids out to the backyard to play. But it does not really relate to the moral law, as all mankind is responsible to diligently obey God, whether they profess belief or not.

      Perhaps I misread your intentions in the comment, but I wanted to add those thoughts, which I think you will find are rooted in Holy Scripture.

      Peace to you.

    2. Yes, the submission of a wife toward her husband is the deepest submission mankind will know, apart from the submission of man to Christ.

    3. Wondering Avatar

      Did your daughters consent or agree to 50 lashes? A wife submits herself sexually and disciplinarily of her desire to her please her husband and honor her covenant, but a father does not have the same role. Did your daughters want that freely of their own consent?

  9. Aron to clarify my point that you questioned I just meant that unbelievers have the right, that God gives them, to reject Christian teaching Accepting Christ and biblical law is always a free choice. I did not mean that such a choice is not sinful, it will ensure God’s punishment. Society gives no rights to wives that God or their Husband must respect. i n terms of biblical law. Our pastor says in God’s eyes the status of women is closer to that of a child than an adult. Not that she is a child but that by nature and assigned role she must be guided and commanded, first by her father than her husband. A wife is only under the authority of her husband but its my belief that she must always be deferential to any adult male, especially a HOH, including her own sons

    This thanksgiving we had a large gathering (everyone who attended had to have a recent negative Covid test) and my wife, who has had trouble in the past being properly respectful to younger HOHs was very disrespectful to one of our son in laws about a discipline decision that arose over the Thanksgiving weekend with our daughter. I did not agree with his decision myself but it’s not my place to interfere in how another HOH decides to discipline his wife. If asked I would offer advice but except in the most extreme case I will not interfere. But Jane became terribly upset and terribly angry and was disrespectful to our son in law. I was forced to punish her severely. I hated that I had to do this at a family gathering but I felt I had no other option. Frankly, I was very embarrassed as Jane’s HOH that she behaved so badly. I know she was under stress from the cooking and all the kids underfoot, but this was not an excuse I could accept. I was going to avoid mentioning this unhappy event, but it seems appropriate here

    1. Thanks for your explanation. I understand your point now.

  10. […] more to say on why the culture hardens its heart against marital discipline. Remember, this is only a temporary thing. A healthy and understanding culture, one that respects what the family is and respects male […]

  11. […] and many also include spanking as a means of correcting a wife. Ladies’ bottoms are getting tanned daily. What has gone on in countless societies for thousands of years never died. You are a part of it. I […]

  12. Who punishes the children in your relationship the reason I ask is a friend of mine was punished for something that one of her children did which she didn’t punish for. Her HOH was embarrassed and my friend couldn’t sit down comfortably for quite a few days.

    1. Hello, Thanks for your question. I don’t really deal with child punishment on this website. However, either one of us can punish the children as it is convenient.

      I can see how allowing children to behave badly, and not punishing them when it is necessary, could itself be grounds to correct a wife. I have on one or two occasions spanked my wife when she let the children get too wild, when I had told her she needed to keep them occupied, and quiet.

      It amounted to failing in her responsibility, which she knew she had to do.

  13. Heather Avatar

    I once knew a single guy who for some reason just suddenly started talking about women who wanted to be spanked. I had long harbored fantasies of being spanked, but I wasn’t about to tell this guy that. He went on and on at length about how it’s an expression of the repression of sex in Christianity that women feel like they need to be spanked to enjoy sex. I didn’t know what to say to this guy except that I knew he was wrong, I knew that my desire to be spanked had nothing to do with being sexually repressed. I just always found the idea of being disciplined by someone I would trust to be deeply moving.

    So when my husband and I started dating I told him about this desire. He found it hard to wrap his head around but also said he was open to it. Then years ago when he started trying it I refuse to spanking that he wanted to give me and he said that this wasn’t real then it was just a game and he wasn’t going to do this anymore. Thankfully we are now coming out of that place! And may I never refuse his discipline ever again whether I think it is just or not may I always receive it! In a way his refusal to discipline me has been a long hard form of discipline that I never want to repeat.

    But anyway back when I first confessed my desires to him while we were still dating I asked him to promise me he would never share with anyone that he spanked me. I was so terrified of his male friends looking at me and knowing that I get spanked like it would be so humiliating.

    Today I repented of that. If he wants to tell the whole world that he spanks me I am glad to be known to be a woman that is under him. I released him from this promise and told me to tell whomever he wants. I shouldn’t have made a rule for him to begin with, how dare I?

    Realistically though I don’t think he probably is interested in sharing this with anyone. What I really have to consider is that I have a giant collection of very feminist oriented friends. If I tell them I am being spanked they will certainly despise my husband, so for that reason I probably will not share this with them because he doesn’t need to be dishonored.
    But right now I have a friend that is convinced another friend of ours is being mistreated by her husband because he is making decisions that she disagrees with and he has been putting his foot down about the direction that their family will go in. He simply isn’t adhering to her desires about certain things in their relationship. He’s not violent and he’s not even spanking her, but it is a battle of the wills and everyone in their liberal fellowship beliefs she should divorce him. Into the midst of this do I tell her to submit to her husband? I don’t even know if this woman has a real relationship with God. I do know one thing, if my husband and my involvement with her and her husband’s impending divorce is to tell her that she needs to submit to her husband and stop divorcing him, I am about to lose a whole lot of people’s respect and a lot of friends. So be it, I hope I am so courageous. I hope she can hear it.

    1. Hello Heather, That’s a common situation today. Feminists will accuse men of abuse simply for taking charge in marriage, or telling their wife what she needs to do. This is true even among many professed Christians, who read the Bible with post-modern glasses to they can fulfill their wishes, instead of seeking God. I have seen similar situations myself.

      Do your best to be a good influence on their marriage, in sharing the importance of headship and submission, as well as the lifelong nature of marriage. Feminists have destroyed countless marriages. Sometimes people just need encouragement in doing what is right, rather than in doing what is wrong. It is worth the effort.

  14. Fluer Avatar

    Interesting question is this, I certainly would have benefited from some stronger discipline when at home having parents who were more liberal didn’t help me learn boundaries. I was pretty wild until my early 20’s coming home in the very early hours after going clubbing and getting drunk.

    Speaking to other wives in our church group most of them had an understanding of DD installed in them by their Fathers it helped them to adjust to accepting their husbands will and commands far quicker than me. I had one mouth soaping when a young teen for saying the F word but as I got older it was left unchallenged by my parents which just embolden me to test boundaries to destruction with no discipline. If my Dad told me to do something likely I’d ignore him or tell him no until..

    It was only once I got engaged and my husbands family started to insist that instead of me being treated as his equal I needed to be treated more as his property that I started to respect him and felt like he was protecting me and stopping my wilder side

    Embarrassing as it is this enabled my Father to actually discipline me properly and spank me for my first time a few weeks before my wedding it wasn’t hard like my husband’s but it was a shock and installed some immediate love for his authority over me that had been missing.

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