The belt as an instrument of discipline holds a special place in the hearts of many who use it, and even those who receive it. Punishment with a belt carries a unique aura that even those who don’t prefer this instrument will admit exists. Some husbands find it their preferred method of discipline, and find it easily practical at the same time. They may have several hanging in their closet at any time. It is just a strip of leather worn around the waist but it signifies much more.

The belt is a not very subtle communicator of authority or power. Whether it is the fine belt around the midsection of a man who works in business, or the thick, heavy, worn belt of a workman, it signifies something of the man who wears it. His strength. His authority. He may start his day by putting it on, and end his day with taking it off. Punishing with the belt is unique from using other instruments. For one, it is the only instrument worn by the man who uses it. He has it with him throughout the day. His wife can see it on him anytime, seeing both a picture of his authority and the strap with which he can correct her when he desires. The man with the belt literally can speak softly, and carry a big stick.

Various rituals surround discipline with the belt, some of which are unique to its use. For example, when I used the belt regularly, I would often have my wife remove the belt and hand it to me before I strapped her with it. Other times I would be the one to remove it, waiting until immediately before I strapped her, letting her listen to the signature sounds of a metal buckle jangling open, and leather sliding out of its place. These few seconds of memorable sounds tap into the instincts. She didn’t just know what was coming, she could sense it within and respond to it. When she needed to stand in the corner after her spanking, I’d fasten the belt to her waist and let her finish the session that way. We would have our final talk, with the punishment instrument, and a token of my authority, fastened around her bare body. After we finished, she would need to remove it, and place it back on me, sliding it back around my waist and buckling it. .

The belt is in a way more sexual than other punishments. That is because the sight, sound, and feel of the belt are the same sight, sound, and feel as before making love. Removing the belt is associated immediately with coming intimacy, and feeling the power of her man, touching and tasting him. It’s what you hear when the pants are about to come off. She is about to feel him inside. Now it is associated immediately with feeling him closely as well, but in an even more commanding and more difficult way. The link between disciplining a wife, and taking her in the marriage bed, is never closer than this. It is illustrated in the act of removing the belt, which carries excitement with it either way. She is about to be made vulnerable and soft to his command. She is about to show she belongs to him completely. 

Correcting a wife with a belt can be done in several ways. Most often, the belt is folded over in half, in a loop, with the buckle and the other end gripped like a handle. Used this way, it should be a tight loop, so it doesn’t flop around and feels solid. Just as with a hand spanking, it can be practiced with a wife over the knee. He can strap her quickly and easily this way. However, this is one of the milder methods, since it’s harder to put much swing and speed into the belt, and it doesn’t deliver the solid contact and sting it does otherwise. It also leaves the blow to fall mostly on one side of her bottom, not giving a balanced delivery of pain. For this reason, when I give a belt strapping over the knee, I go for longer and give more strokes. That makes sure it sinks in.

To fully deliver a fearful punishment with a belt, the man should be able to be standing, and have her bottom at a height easy to swing at with his full arm and shoulder. She could be kneeling on the end of the bed, or placed with her belly on the end of the bed, her bottom propped up on a pillow. It can also be delivered well if she is standing, and bent over holding a stool or the end of a small chair. This keeps her bottom at an easy height, and makes it stick out a little. If a husband is standing, gives her full swing, and straps her up and down her bottom several times in succession, he will deliver a strong and thorough punishment that will leave her in tears. It is also good to be able to take turns strapping from both sides, to better spread out the punishment across the seat of correction. It’s good to take your time with a belt. That’s because it is soft, and can swing a little higher or lower than you’d expect. Slight changes of speed or angle can cause it to land where you did not expect. If I am strapping with the belt, I take steady, deliberate swings. I do not try and rush it, and I make sure I am aiming more or less for a certain spot.

I enjoy the belt for all of these reasons and more. I find it very useful. I also like that it is a household item, and not anything I have to buy as punishment gear. To me, the more gear you buy the more it seems like theater, and punishment is not theater — it is the real thing. In the case of the belt, it is a tool  that is always handy. He can, at any moment, take it off, put her right over his knee, and change her attitude around. She also gets a reminder of it every time she sees him during the day, and a reminder every time he unbuckles it to make love to her. Even the belt’s sound in punishment is appropriate to punishment, being sharp and alarming, and loud. The paddle has a low thud. The belt is a trumpet call. Hear the sound of the belt on the bottom over and over and there is no doubt that serious punishment is being delivered.

There are certainly other kinds of straps you can buy or make that would deliver a similar fierce punishment, but they would lack much of what makes the belt unique, especially being an article worn on the body, and visible all the time. A simple strap does not carry the manhood that a belt does. You don’t have to use one, but I recommend keeping at least one thick, wide, leather belt in your closet. Unlike a paddle, you don’t have to hide it somewhere. It will look innocent to most viewers. Your wife will see it, and she will know exactly what it means. Consider these advantages of using the belt. There is perhaps nothing more emblematic of submission as a woman on her knees with her backside in the air, and nothing that pictures discipline as much as a man removing his belt.


71 responses to “The Belt”

  1. […] instrument I used long before I was married, and still occasionally use today is my belt. You will find this is a preferred instrument among many heads of home also, because of its look, […]

  2. […] I would later give, but it was a hard and long enough to get my point across. I took off my thick, leather belt and I gave her the lesson I intended her to learn. I knew it would hurt. I give her more or less […]

  3. […] was going to be punished for her previous behavior. I took her to the room with me and had her undo my belt and hand it to me, something she was a little confused by at first since she’d never been […]

  4. […] am not one to count how many times I smack her bottom. When it comes to using an instrument like my belt, the loopy, or the paddle on her bottom, I rarely use under 50. Sometimes I use well over 50 and up […]

  5. […] risk and are often more painful than desired. You can safely deliver some rather powerful strokes with a belt, for example, but would show more moderation with a large, thick paddle. He will need to have an […]

  6. […] choices. You CAN use the shorter ones if you wish, but it becomes natural to use the longer ones. The belt works best if she is bent over, or kneeling on the end of the bed. It can have its full swing that […]

  7. Thank you for this article, it’s really helpful and interesting. My sir and I are pretty new to the DD and we still are trying sime things. I didn’t have time yet to read the whole blog but I have a question. Is the husband allowed to slap his wife’s face? I use a lot of course language and at the moment we try to change this behavior of mine. Would a quick slap or two, given just after be a ok punishment, or it’s better to rather keep it “traditional” and have all the ceremony of a belt spanking later the day when it’s possible?
    With respect,
    Mary Magdalene

    1. Hello Mary, I’m very happy if the article has been helpful to you and your husband. I hope the others are as well. As far as smacking goes, I do not use it for either a warning, or a punishment.

      That is partly because of the danger involved; the face has many easily damaged, and essential parts, including the eyes, lips, teeth, and of course the head encases the brain. Punishments are best given on the bare bottom, which is soft and padded and practically built to take a good strapping.

      Also, the face represents a person’s personality, spirit, and inner beauty. To strike at the face then is more like striking at their soul, or at the image of God in them. In contrast, the bottom is base, and carnal, with a look that is sensual, sexual, or even at times comic. It is the better place to deliver blows.

      If a man finds it useful to give his wife a quick smack across the face if she needs a warning, or if her attitude needs a change, I do not find a big problem with it, as long as it’s not injurious. Some men find a smack useful for those quick reminders.

      However, I would not recommend it. I have found a verbal corrections, or verbal warnings, are very effective if my wife needs to check her behavior. As I mention in several articles, the spankings themselves help those verbal corrections to keep her in line. She knows my words will be backed up.

      Moreover, a smack in the face does not function very well as punishment, since it is brief and fairly mild, whereas punishments generally need to be longer and harder anyway.

      You can call me traditional then. If your behavior calls for a real punishment, he should let you know you will receive it later, and then give you a lecture and sound strapping. If he gives you a warning, you should heed it immediately.

      One more thing: You use the name Mary Magdalene. Since that is the name of a holy woman known to all, I’d prefer if you do not use it here. It amounts to taking something holy and using it as something common. It profanes the name. I know you do not mean any harm by it, but please don’t use it on the comments. You are welcome to comment more though, or on any other articles in my manual.

      Thank you.

    2. I often get a slap face as a warning, never to the point of leaving marks, only a brief red and a tingling
      This happens when I have a smart mouth, a face-like look instead of a submissive look, or as a way for my husband to guide me and teach me how to give him pleasure with my mouth.

  8. I would never slap my wife in the face, the Lord made a women’s behind for correction and that’s the only place I strike to correct my wife. I have used a belt to correct her, mostly when we are away from home. I don’t believe in hand spankings for girls over 13, at this age you need a strap, belt, Paddle etc on the bare. The one exception is when I use my hand to give my wife a few hard slaps on her behind over clothing as a warning , sometimes when she seems to be heading to a place of sassyness or bad attitude in front of guests or people we are visiting. I seldom need to use my belt or if at home , the strap after this warning since she knows the next step is for her to have her clothing removed to get the belt or the strap. Also sometimes when visiting or when we have guests I give her a time out in the corner for a short time after I have given her a few spanks over her clothing. She is not stripped for this like regular corner time. When we visit our children , all grown and married, if my wife needs correction that escalates to this higher level I can borrow the family strap and don’t need to use my belt. The fact that she knows I won’t hesitate to correct her at any time or any place causes her to be extraordinarily well behaved and openly submissive in front of other people almost all the time.

    1. Bob, what misdemeanour can your wife possibly be guilty of that warrants a strapping when visiting your children? Was it the same heinous crime of which your elderly mother in law was guilty? i.e She asked your father in law if she could have her bath later instead of at 8.30. For this dreadful indiscretion, this woman in her late 60’s was strapped and mouth washed. Then just to make sure she realised the seriousness of her “crime” your father in law decided to insert a piece of root ginger into her anus. This elderly woman was then stood in the corner with her bottom burning inside and out. Of course you go by another 3 lettered name beginning with B on that site. Did you not feel appalled at your father in law’s treatment of his wife? How can shoving a piece of ginger up an elderly lady’s backside be considered a “loving” form of punishment? It was placed there to cause an intense burning sensation in this woman’s anus. This is not CDD discipline,it is abuse. Why should this woman have received any form of punishment
      for merely wanting to spend more time in a social situation with her family? Surely the strapping and mouth washing was overkill in itself. I don’t know if that post has been removed now, as I couldn’t seem to relocate it, but it shocked me to see that something so painful and humiliating and furthermore part of BDSM could have been been seen as appropriate for disciplining this lady. As far as I remember your wife Jane’s comments amounted to “Mum’s been a bad girl”. No “Mum” was just a grown woman asking to stay up later and for this she was subjected to corporal punishment, mouth washing and worst of all figging. You should have at least remonstrated with your father in law over the latter. It is NOT a suitable punishment for anybody,let alone an elderly woman. (Or perhaps you think it is). I sincerely hope I am not the only person who thinks figging Jane’s (your wife) mother was abuse rather than a form of discipline that’s part of CDD.

      1. Jade, I think your letter is intelligent and presents some fair-minded objections. So I approved it. I do want to let you know I don’t want to have a long debate here, so if it really stretches out, the best thing is for the two of you to contact each other, if you know how.

        I do appreciate your concerns with some punishments either being given unfairly, or being too harsh, although recognize that in discipline it is fairly subjective where each person draws the line. There is reasonable debate as to where though. Thank you.

      2. Beside the fact that I cannot find the post you refer that upsets you, what you do describe a real event, you seem upset about three things. The use of figging , the fact that the wife being punished was “elderly” and that the offence was not serious enough or my father in law was being unfair. First, I have used figging only a few times myself, and it has never been part of established method of correction. However, I must really wonder if you have ever been strapped or paddled. You could make the same argument about these forms of correction if you had ever experienced them, getting a strapping or a paddling is much harsher than figging. Your being upset with the use of figging is not about its harshness, I think. As for elderly you know nothing at all about the physical condition of the my mother is law. You have an image in your mind of a frail old lady. Maybe you see her using a walker. I am sure the image of a spry women whose favorite pass times were horseback riding, swimming and hiking isn’t how you imagined her. No women is too old to be spanked but any responsible husband would obviously take into account his wife’s state of health. If a husband should not punish his wife when she refuses to obey him, a direct challenge to his authority then I do not when he should correct her. She had the opportunity to respectfully ask to be allowed to go bed later than her normal bedtime. I cannot say what my father in law would have done, but as I recall that is not what happened. As I recall she threw a tantrum instead. You may think it unfair and too strict to have a bedtime but what you think is too strict or unfair is irrelevant, your place is to be obedient and submissive, not question the decisions of the person God has put in authority over you. And in my opinion, no head of household should question how another head of household maintains discipline of those under his authority, within limits of course.

        1. Very concise, and to the point response, Bob. Thank you. I think that is a reasonable explanation.

  9. the belt is my husband’s favorite instrument for applying discipline to me, he always makes me kiss the belt before he starts hitting me and I have to pray to God and ask God to bless his hands so that they have enough strength to apply the punishment I deserve

  10. […] severe punishments, due to its severe reputation, weight, and heaviness. Unlike some tools, such as the belt or the hairbrush, the paddle is specifically designed to deliver punishment to the bottom, and does […]

  11. Hello Aron, Thank you for your measured comments. I did contact Bob AKA Ben and he said my husband should take the strap to me. So I take it he didn’t agree with them.!! My husband however, did agree with me concerning figging though, and his words were “This is Satan in the guise of Christ”. I most certainly would never be punished for expressing valid opinions (or requests) I don’t think figging a wife, whom you supposedly love and cherish, can be subjective. I know that strapping and sometimes mouth washing are a Consensual part of CDD but would any normal woman consent to figging unless she was a maschosist? You are required to thank your husband for his correction in CDD, because he has mentally, emotionally and physically exerted himself for the wife’s benefit. But would any woman thank her HOH for burning her anus as a disciplinary procedure?

    1. Hello Jade, Sorry you two couldn’t have a more positive communication. From what I have read, mostly coming from couples that have used figging, it does not seem to be on the extreme end of discipline and I haven’t heard of injury being any sincere risk. I don’t really see why it would be considered harsher than being spanked hard with an instrument.

      It is perverse to be misusing the backside, but I would disagree with the statement it is “Satan in the guise of Christ.” Various forms of discipline are going to hurt, and that is a part of the point — it should punish the wrong, provide a deterrent into the future, and impress upon a woman her submission. I don’t use that practice, but I consider your reaction against it to be too much. Thanks for your thoughts.

  12. I know you may not want to comment on this and I respect that. I think it is important however, that unless one is also into BDSM this should not be normalised as a Loving Christian Domestic Discipline Practice as there is nothing “loving” about it and furthermore it can be detrimental to an internal part of a wife’s body.

    1. Jade, Thanks. I’m not sure which practice you mean, since there is the article above, as well as various comments. Do you mean anal? I do not agree with its use, but I do not categorize it as strictly a bdsm thing. It is fairly common in domestic discipline homes. I would agree, considering the much higher risk of serious harm, and misuse of the body, anal is counter to being loving.

      1. amanda l daveaux Avatar
        amanda l daveaux

        I stumbled upon this article by mistake, but after reading a bit, I had to read the whole article. My husband and I have been married for almost ten years, and we have always had the mutual understanding that he is the boss, and I am to support him in every way that I can.
        He has taken the belt to me on a few occasions when I deserved it, and also a few times when we were only playing. As you said, a belt is an outward sign of a man’s authority that his wife can see every time she looks at him.
        I must add, that there are things a wife can do too, that are outward signs of her total submission to his authority.
        At home, on a typical day I do my chores dressed only in an apron. This leaves my back and my behind totally naked for him to see. If I have been recently punished, I might have belt marks to show, and I make no effort to hide them. I wear low heels around the house because he likes the way they make my ankles and calves look, but otherwise, my legs, ass, and back are naked.
        He knows too, that at any time he feels that I need to be punished, he only needs to say so, and I will quickly assume a position that invites him to carry it out. I am already dressed for a strapping, and he only needs to unbuckle that strap and use it on me.
        I love him, and I will do anything he tells me too, without question or hesitation, and he knows it. I feel that it is my duty to obey him, and if I don’t do that, I deserve to feel the stinging slap of his belt.
        I know from experience that the punishment I receive will be appropriate to my offense. I’m sure that if I were to sass him, or embarrass him and refuse to do what he tells me, I would get a good sound beating for it. But, it is not like that at all. Generally what I get are not much more than love taps. Just reminders really, for forgetting something or for some other oversight on my part. Believe me, to get a good sound beating, I would have to do something totally obnoxious and offensive. The fact remains though, that we both know and accept that he has total authority to punish me as long and as hard as he wants too.
        I have heard so many women speak out about how terrible it is for a woman to be subject to her husband’s will, and it is appalling to me. Women in the western hemisphere today, have it better than women have ever had it in the entire history of the world, and they are still bitching that they want more. Maybe they were abused, or hurt in some way that has shut them down emotionally, and has made them unable to ever appreciate the joy of being submissive to a good loving man.
        I try to let my man know that I belong to him, and he has complete authority over me, every day, and that knowledge gives him the power to be as strong and as gentle as he chooses to be.
        Thank you Sir, for reading. Amanda L Daveaux

        1. You’re welcome, Amanda. It’s interesting to hear how leadership and submission are applied in your home. You have a good understanding of the relationship. I have a piece coming up that deals with nudity as reinforcing submission.

          I don’t think that many of the women in the west hate the man’s headship because they have been abused. I think most hate it because they’ve had it trained into them. They’ve been indoctrinated in that ideology, and they’ve seen traditional women put down and ridiculed. They’ve seen their own desires to be submissive ridiculed as well.

          But in their soul they are women, and can still find fulfillment in submitting to their men. It is mostly a problem of the mind. I believe we can and will get past it.

          Thanks for your comments.

  13. […] men who work with their hands, and possess hands like leather, who could approximate a paddle or belt spanking with their bare palms. Most of us don’t find that we can, so hand spanking becomes rare. We […]

  14. Octavian Avatar

    For all the reasons mentioned above, I do also feel that the belt is one of the best possible implements for wife correction available. I’ve spanked my wife with several different belts over the years — old, new, soft, hard — but regardless of the type, or its effectiveness, knowing that she can see in on my waist or hanging on a hook on the door is a great symbol and reminder to both of us as to who is in charge.
    I have a number of belts, but my favorite for the purpose of administering a correction is just the old, brown dress belt that I’ve had for 20-some years. It’s not particularly wide or heavyweight leather, but it has a great combination of suppleness and strength that make it a joy to use for punishment. And, as mentioned, the fact that she can see me wearing it around keeps it close to her thoughts (and her bottom!)

    1. It’s good to hear your comment, Octavian. The public visibility of the belt is one of its pluses, as it is always a reminder to her. It can communicate a lot, but especially authority. I keep several of them, but mostly use a heavy leather one for spanking. I’m glad you can appreciate the belt in your home.

      1. There is an aura that surrounds the belt. The belt is a man’s item of dress. Some call it the strap, especially when in the context of being used as an instrument of discipline. Even the mention of the belt invokes visions of being corrected.
        I recall times when I felt its hot sting after acknowledging some improper or unladylike behavior. It is not something easily forgotten.

        1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about the belt, and your discipline experiences, Amanda. The belt can deliver a memorable lesson to a wife.

      2. Octavian Avatar

        I think Amanda is absolutely right about the belt having an aura. Especially when a wife is only used to hand or hairbrush spankings (as mine was, initially) the belt can have a great effect, even before it is used.
        Now, I do believe in preserving that aura, and so unlike some other husbands, I don’t make my wife fetch the implement(s) I will use to correct her. Rather, she is instructed to look at the implement while she waits for its use or during her corner time. In fact, my wife is not allowed to touch my belt, the paddle, the spanking ruler or the hairbrush I have dedicated to spanking, whatsoever. She gets to know the feel of these implements on her bare bottom, and that’s it. MY hand is the one in command, and thus must hold the rod of correction. HER hands are used to serve and caress. I seen no reason to confuse her about the proper usages of, and respect for, the implements used to correct her.

        1. Amanda L Daveaux Avatar
          Amanda L Daveaux

          Dear Mr. Octavian,
          You make some good points. My husband has other implements. He has several paddles, each one is a little different from the others such as weight, thickness, solid or holes, etc. I believe I have experienced every one of them. In fact, I think I can probably tell from the sting, which one is being used on me without even seeing it.
          Needless to say, I have been a naughty girl on quite a few occasions.
          My husband has never been shy about correcting me, and I know from experience that it does not benefit me to hesitate when I am told to fetch an implement, or to assume the position.
          I do not touch or handle his implements unless he tells me too. If I am not already aware that I have done something wrong, being told to go and fetch the paddle or strap, or being made to go out and fetch a switch is often the first indication that I am going to be punished.
          It is like a moment of truth to me, and I’m sure that my facial expression is revealing.
          He is never hostile or angry. He doesn’t need to be, and afterward there will be no hard feelings on either of us.
          Still, there is a part of me that enjoys the little things he does. Making me fetch the paddle or strap. Making me kneel and kiss it, both before he uses it and afterward. Lecturing me during my punishment and making me count the licks as he administers them to me. And the comfort he gives me afterward.

  15. Octavian Avatar

    As our host frequently points out, it’s hardly useful or right for husbands to criticize each other’s discipline methods. Each system of discipline and training must be unique to the wife in question. So I would not want to suggest that having wives bring implements to their spankings is wrong in any way. Just as my wife has been taught not to go rummaging around in my toolroom without permission, the spanking tools are off-limits.
    However, reading about the experience of being told to go cut a switch giving wives the opportunity for more really deep reflection on the nature and severity of their imminent discipline has intrigued me. I have never used a switch on my wife, but perhaps the next time we’re in need of a more significant attitude adjustment, that will change.
    From what I gather here, and in other reading, it sounds like the generic punishment sequence would be to send my wife out to cut a switch with a clasp knife or pruning shears, etc. I would instruct her to cut an appropriate quantity, and to bring back switches I will find suitable for her correction. If she fails to bring back switches I feel good about applying to her bare bottom, she should receive and additional severe punishment. One important variation would be that, if seclusion permits, my wife should already be naked when she goes to cut her switches.

    1. Thanks for your thoughts on cutting a switch. I find it an attractive idea as well, though I’ve never used the switch as punishment. It’s a method I hope all consider.

    2. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

      Octavia, with no disrespect to you
      I would hope if your wife in the future is already naked and having to go out to cut her a switch that you would have a privacy fence or live out in the country…in my humble opinion nobody should ever see your wife nude except for you and her physician.

      1. iamhissubmissive60 Of course I agree strongly with you, no husband should ever require his wife to be naked in public , it’s also illegal by the way. But in principle a wife gets no say about her state of dress or undress under her husband’s authority.

  16. Amanda L Daveaux Avatar
    Amanda L Daveaux

    Being punished with a switch,
    As with any other form of punishment, the switch has its roots.
    A switch is really just a small whippy cane. It will leave thin weals on ones buttocks and thighs. Of course a lot depends on how zealously it is used. Please believe me, it doesn’t take a lot of effort to really make it sting like the dickens, especially on bare flanks or legs.
    My husband, (being from the deep south), was very familiar with the switch. Being made to go fetch a switch by a parent, or a grandparent is a long standing tradition there.
    I suppose it serves several purposes. It certainly extends the time you must spend thinking about your soon to be administered correction. It can be humiliating, especially if you are instructed to fetch a switch in front of others, because now, they will know you are going to be punished… even if it is not carried out in front of them. As Octavian mentioned, you might even be made to strip, and go fetch a switch while naked. This would really give the neighbors something to talk about.
    My husband has never embarrassed me like that, although if I were to embarrass him in front of others, I would certainly deserve it.

    1. Hello Amanda, Thank you for that useful addition. Yes it sounds quite similar to a thin cane. Can you recommend some good trees to cut one from?

      1. I myself have never been switched but have heard willow tree branches make good switches. Any flexible branch from a tree or bush would likely work. I had an ex who wanted to try a branch with thorns but that, in my mind, borderlines abuse.

        1. Great. I will definitely look into those options for possible switches. Thank you. Sure, using a branch with thorns would be injurious, and ridiculous as well.

      2. We have a Hazel tree in our back yard. My husband often sends me out back to fetch a switch from it. The branches are straight, and kind of smooth once the leaves and the buds have been removed.
        I really don’t think that the type of tree matters as much as that the switch is smooth and thin. Believe it or not, a thin whippy switch stings more than a thicker, stouter one.

    2. Does your husband make you kneel before him ? Do u believe Women should address their men as master or sir when given a command ?

      1. I always address my husband as master or lord

      2. Yes, in my opinion, they should.

  17. Sir. I’d never be expected to refer to My husband as Lord. Jesus is King and Lord of all. God still reigns before anything or anyone on Earth.

    1. Hello Fran, People choose different terms. Lord is simply an expression that communicates honor or authority, just as king is also an earthly position of ruling. I don’t believe either one gets in the way of Christ’s primacy. But if you don’t wish to use it you don’t have to.

      1. Heather Avatar

        Fran, I know what you mean, and it is a good instinct to know the place of Jesus as Lord and King to feel reluctant to call anyone else lord. There is something good and right about that fear and shows that your heart is in a right place I think. But I don’t know if you’re aware that a wife calling a husband “lord” actually comes right from the New Testament. Here’s the verse:

        1 Peter 3:4-6

        ‘…let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.”

        As Aron said, this use of the word lord doesn’t mean divinity, it is a sign of respect. It means something more like master. But I know what you mean it really does feel weird to call someone other than Jesus lord, especially since our salvation is linked to knowing and acknowledging that Jesus himself is our Lord, with a capital L, and history is riddled with martyrs that showed Christ’s true Glory when they refused to bow to anyone else but Jesus.

        But the relationship between husband and wife is a microcosm of the church and Christ. So in a very real way, a wife calling her husband Lord actually upholds and exalts the fact that we all as part of the bride of Christ have Jesus as the Lord of all of us. The husband is a little lord to his wife, over the very small Kingdom of her and their home, as a picture of the great Lord who is the head of his household, his body, the church.

        So in this way calling out husbands master or lord actually does honor Christ, although I will admit it weirds my husband out sometimes just as strangely as it feels for me to say it to him. Yet there is something wholesome and beautiful in it too I think that can be felt beyond the awkwardness of it.

        Many people and many religions reject Jesus as being worthy of worship because he is a man. They don’t understand how someone can be both man and God. It is offensive in many many ideas of God to think that God could come as a man or be seen as a man. And this way also, kneeling to a husband and calling him lord I believe is a unique shadow of the uniqueness of the Christian gospel; that God is not unwilling to have taken on flesh and to be seen as a man on Earth. Our husbands are not a God-man, but as they represent the picture of Christ who is, kneeling to them and calling them lord is reminiscent of this as a figure and an image of this stumbling block to many of God having become a man. A wife honoring her husband in this way makes known the gospel in this small way to the principalities and Powers.

        (I hope it was okay to share all of that here Aron, it’s just stuff I’ve been thinking about, as I’ve been wrestling through the theology of all this myself.)

  18. Dani Jones Avatar
    Dani Jones

    I am 55 and hubby and I have been married 20 years. He has always spanked me bare bottom. He started by just turning me over his knee when I was bad. That did not seem to work I can be a smart aleck even though I know my place. Went he went to using his belt to punish me it was a world of difference it hurts, his has a thick leather strap he uses, I cry before he even starts. I learned many lessons with his belt. As a matter of fact as I write this my bottom is on fire from his belt I got earlier today.

    1. Thank you for your comment, Dani. The belt definitely gets the point across, and is used in many homes. A thick heavy one is what it takes.

      1. feministno1 Avatar

        I consider myself a strong, independent woman and a proud feminist; my husband considers himself a feminist as well. We are equals in life and in the house. And yet….he has spanked me numerous times on my bare bottom, sometimes with his hand, usually with his belt, with me bent over a bed or table, for disobedience, disrespect, or dishonesty. He is never angry when he straps me, just calmly explains why he is doing it. I am in tears after three strokes—he’s a big, strong guy—but he usually continues until I am sobbing, sore and bruised on the behind and thighs. He is very sweet afterwards and provides ice bags, but sitting is uncomfortable for a few days (not good in the office!) Bruises can last a week or more.

        I always remind myself to watch my behavior, but just as I am able to sit comfortably again, I snap at him or ignore a request he has made, and the belt comes off again. I can honestly say the strappings do not really upset me that much, although they hurt quite a bit. I am in a pretty high-power job with a lot of authority. Does my reaction to being spanked just represent a readiness to give up control in one area of my life? Hubs and I have been together 8 years and are quite happy. Would be interested in hearing if any other feminists feel the same way.

        1. Hello, Thank you for your comment. Your reaction to being spanked reflects that at heart you want your man’s power over you. You are a woman. It’s natural to desire his strength and protection, and his correction of you comes along with that. A husband is not only there to correct a few wrongs though, but is to lead and protect you in all things, and you must follow.

          Submitting to your husband in areas beyond a spanking will be richly rewarding to you. However, it will require your humility and your trust in him. A spanking is only an expression of the real authority he has. Your tearful acceptance of the spanking is only an expression of your submissive heart.

          1. feministno1 Avatar

            Actually, he does not WANT me to be submissive in other areas. It’s our quirky thing, I guess.

          2. Yes, I understand. Many men are raised on egalitarianism, and would not really know how to approach the authority they have. However, your husband, like you, is built for his role in marriage. Like many men, he can unlearn some of that feminism, and embrace his leadership. Many couples do it. I think you will find the home works wonderfully that way.

          3. feministno1 Avatar

            Uh, no. We both like things as they are. Why try to force something in which neither of us believe?

          4. Hello, No one is forcing anything, but I am telling you that male headship is the right way for a marriage to work. It is also what your feelings about being spanked indicate, as they are expressing your feminine and submissive heart.

            You may not believe in them now, but with time, if you step away from some preconceptions, you may find them to be completely true. They are good, and provide the right order for marriage and family.

          5. feministno1 Avatar

            But we do not believe in “male headship”. We believe in equality.

          6. I am aware of that. That is why I said I’d believe you will find, on better examination of the topic, that the headship of the man is the right way to do things, and is natural to you as well. Personal beliefs can always be wrong. You can write me at your email if you really wish to discuss it in more.

          7. feministno1 Avatar

            The whole point of my post was to ask if any other feminists found themselves liking to cede control in one area of their lives; it was not to get “advice” on how to reevaluate my whole way of thinking. I do not believe that men are” heads” because they possess a certain body part. What about gay couples?

          8. aronhusband Avatar

            Feminist, Since your worldview is contrary to the entire basis of this marriage guide, I will naturally ask you to reconsider your worldview. I believe it is both wrong and destructive. However, I can tell you as a fact that many women who consider themselves feminists also desire to be spanked, and a large number have also left behind their feminist belief system to become submissive wives and mothers.

            Men are not in charge because they have a single body part, but because they are men, ordained by God for their role, and given many more than one physical difference from women. They possess differences appropriate to their role in the realm of the mental, physical, and spiritual. “Gay” couples need to cease practicing their sin, and the large majority can live happily and fruitfully with the opposite sex. The few who cannot can remain celibate to serve God.

      2. Hi feminiistno1,
        This is a fun conversation. I also consider myself a feminist (Aron, don’t read this part 😉 ) relative to the broader world on many levels. But I have recognized that my feminism exists outside of my marriage; within my marriage I’m not a feminist at all. My husband is my head.
        When I read what you have written, I suspect a bit of cognitive dissonance going on. You say you are in a marriage of equality, but then your husband takes a strap to your bottom whenever he is not pleased. Unless you do the same to him (which I don’t recommend, and I bet you don’t want it that way either), there’s nothing equal about this. Your husband, probably much like mine, extends a great deal of honor to you in the day to day, listening to your preferences, making decisions with your input, etc, so that in many ways you feel a partnership of equals. But at the end of the day, you’re under his authority. If he is not pleased, you will be punished. This is not equality.
        And hey, that’s ok. I think that’s all Aron is trying to point out is that your stated position is not quite lining up with what you’re actually doing. You’re not REALLY in a marriage of equals, even if there are a lot of great mutuality type things going on in your marriage. You’re in a power-exchange relationship (to borrow a BDSM term) or a “headship” marriage…even if you’ve had a hard time admitting that (or you both have.)
        Maybe it’s time to DTR (define the relationship.) 😉

        1. Thank you for your comment. I’m not going to have a long debate over feminism here though, or any other alternative lifestyles. I do invite e-mails if people seriously wish to discuss the topic.

  19. Practical question: when I was a child, a couple times my step-dad gave me the belt. I would steady myself thinking I would just bear it and get through it easily enough, and the next thing I knew he lit up my bottom with pure fire with one stroke. I remember being determined that I wouldn’t cry and from the first stroke I involuntarily screamed in agony. And this was over clothing. When he was done my five strokes, I remember one time sitting on my bed to cry and after about 10 minutes he came in, reminded me of the chore I had left undone, and asked if he needed to give me more strokes. The very question took my breath away and was something there was zero chance I wanted to risk happening.
    Honestly at the time I considered him to be abusive, and there are a lot of complicating factors and I don’t really want to sort through the ins and outs of how much that was or wasn’t true in this post.
    But I am not that child anymore, and this is not my stepfather but my husband. And honestly I want him to be able to discipline me to that level of intensity. He can have that full power of pain and fear in my life as it is rightfully his place to train me and correct me.
    So my very practical question is… How does one use a belt to that degree of effectiveness? My husband started trying out a braided one, about an inch wide, and pulling back for swing as far as he could without losing control of aim. It hurts but not very terribly.
    So practically speaking, what goes into choosing the right belt and how is it used most effectively?
    Thanks Aron and others.

    1. Hello Belted, That’s a very good question. It’s definitely right to expect a punishment that is really going to hurt, as opposed to a light-weight one, despite the fear it may invoke. A mild sting does not make for much of a spanking.

      I am not the belt expert, but I have used belts to give spankings for many years. I recommend a heavier, wide, and thick belt. Being over an inch wide will help it carry more weight. It would be good to compare belts and feel which one is heavier. It is that weight and also thickness of material that drives each stroke home. The lighter and skinnier kinds of belts won’t do as well, nor will the woven kinds. Just solid thick leather, or a similarly heavy material.

      Of course, a good swing — with arm, shoulder, and some torso in it — makes sure the belt carries some force. You may already realize this, but the longer the belt is when folded over will allow it to swing more at the end, and land fiercely on its far end. It can nearly snap like a whip, which a quick pull back at the end of each stroke. This is not necessary, but it does focus a great deal of strength on one point. In contrast, giving it some follow through with the stroke also adds some strength, and is more likely to spread the force around, leaving a big stripe across the whole bottom.

      I’m sure some readers her can offer you more technical advice on the belt too. I hope that helps.

      1. Aron,
        He figured it out.
        A pox upon you and your cursed blog!

        Lol, just kidding.
        Your blog has been the most life-changing blessing. In sincerity, may you and this blog be blessed from on high.

        I’m joking about the pox, but I’m not joking that he “figured it out.” Well, let’s just say my husband shows himself to be very resourceful. I will share with him what you wrote about getting a wider, not braided belt though. Should it be soft and flexible, or stiffer and harder? Which works better?

        Let’s just say he made plenty due even so with the one inch braided belt last night. Instead of folding it in half he folded it twice, giving him enough control of the now short instrument to wallop hard with it. I think it had more of the effect of a belt-like paddle maybe then at that point than a whip+like thing, but at any rate he stopped after the bruising and welts were fairly apparent. I may not be as sore as I could be with a wide swingy belt but my lord definitely found a way to mark his favored property with his umbrage and his commandments, so as to make sure I shall not sit normally for a couple days.

        I honor him that he made sure to find a way to use an imperfect instrument to it’s best results.

        Let my husband strike me, it shall be a blessing. (I suppose that sound bite will go over well in the feminist camp.)


        1. Hello Belted, Good to hear back from you. That’s a great sound bite. Some of those feminists may rage about it, but you know there are former feminists who come on here to discuss their spankings, and former feminists who write me about learning how to submit. So with a greater vision, many of them can leave those attitudes behind.

          I’m glad your husband has figured out how to make the belt more forceful. I have never heard of folding one over twice, but whatever works. A lot really comes down to the force as well, and the stroke. I would not want one extremely stiff, as I’d want the swing, which gives it extra force at the tip. I’m sure your husband is resourceful and will do some experimenting.

          Thank you.

      2. Heather Avatar

        Yup, he figured it out I’d say. Yep, unfolded the thing too.
        I feel very comforted, honestly, knowing he can take me where he wants now. It’s one thing to try to bend myself, it’s another thing knowing he is putting his strength towards bending me. This is quickly moving out of my hands, as it should be, and into his.
        Thanks for your encouragement as always.

  20. Deserving Avatar

    Hi Aron,

    I’m curious, how do you choose your instrument? Does it depend on the indiscretion? Is it just how you feel that day? I find that not knowing how I will be strapped is very difficult for me.

    How often do you use the belt even after all your years of marriage? Besides the pain, I find it one of the worst because he makes me take it off of him and hand it to him. There’s something extra degrading about that- which I’m sure is the whole point.

    I was also interested in why it feels more sexual to you as you wrote. Is it the positioning of your wife?

    It might seem odd but understanding your (or others) experience would help me dread it less and give a different perspective. I try not resent my husband and accept his correction, but the belt makes me upset with him more so. I have been using my corner time to reflect and ask for forgiveness for these thoughts. I was thinking it might help me submit further. Thanks for any insight.

    1. Hello Deserving, Those are all good questions. Having understanding often is key in being less moved by fear or anger. I know it’s not easy to face any instrument, especially those that are on the harsher end of punishment.

      I choose an instrument based in part on how serious the infraction was, in part based on whether it is quiet, and in part on personal preference. The belt is one that I prefer, but I don’t use it often these days, since we are rarely alone. If I need quiet, I will use the loopy or a cord I have. If it is a more serious infraction, I will make sure we can be alone, and use the paddle, or the belt. The paddle is heavier, and better for the more severe punishments.

      I do like the ritual of having her take off the belt, and hand it to me. It’s not meant to be degrading, but is intended both to humble her, and to have her participate in her correction. Being a helper during her own discipline session is indeed a submissive act. She can bring me any instrument of course, but her participation in the belt is deeper, since it is more intimate to do, as it is right around my waist.

      There is a more sexual element to the belt, as many notice. It’s not easy to fully wrap your head around; however, apart from being so close to my body, and an article she deals with all the time when we make love, it has a look, feel, and smell that bring sex to mind for many people. That’s especially if it’s real leather.

      I hope that helps you with understanding the subject. You might also ask your husband why he chooses the instruments he chooses.

      Take care.

      1. Deserving Avatar

        Thank you. I have asked at times and the answer has been mostly about how he chooses based on the severity of my infraction and how he feels.

        I try to be careful to ask in a soft way and not in the heat of spanking so I am respectful of his leadership.

        I appreciate your response so much. Take good care.

  21. So a few weeks ago I said he figured out how to use the belt.

    But actually, I think NOW he REALLY figured it out. I have been disciplined by him quite a few times as we are finding our way in this new understanding of our roles, but this was the first time I felt fully chastened and like I can truly fear his discipline, which I want to fear.

    “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Eph 5:33. The word for “respect” there is literally “phobos” or “fear.” I think some fear of my husband is good for me.

    I was sitting on pillows and he got me an icepack later. He got kind of scared the next day when he saw the dark blue bruising.

    “The bruising of a wound cleanseth away evil—so also do stripes the inward parts of the being.”
    Prov 20:30

    I embrace the bruising. I am glad of it. My biggest fear though ended up not being his discipline, but I am afraid he will back off in fear of hurting me now that he has left serious bruises.

    So I just wanted to ask you, how bruised can someone expect to be from a thorough belting? Are serious bruises too far? I’m sitting comfortably again two days later, although it is a bit sore still.

    1. Hello Belted, It sounds like he has the belt figured out well. It can give a formidable strapping, but I still don’t put it among the harshest of instruments. A heavy belt used with force can leave red and purple bruises. How many and how long they last somewhat depends on the sensitivity of your body, as people tend to bruise differently. The bruising I have seen left by belts or other instruments can last between a week and two. Perhaps it could last a little longer. I would not worry about bruising unless it simply doesn’t go away. It takes time to adapt to, but sometimes that’s what a husband needs to give as far as serious punishment. It’s got to be a lesson to remember. I hope you both are well. Blessings.

      1. Italian husband Avatar
        Italian husband

        Good morning. I completely agree with what has been written in support of the use of the belt as a disciplinary tool. In the discipline (both culpability and maintenance) that I have experienced with my wife for 30 years, the belt is the second most frequent tool after the hand, and is reserved for both the most serious culpability and, once a month, the most intense maintenance. The “marital sanctity” of the belt (the belt is part of the husband) has always made me prefer that she is never completely naked during the chastisement with the belt, because everything has to focus on the butt and the stripes that are gradually generated from the blows. I often use a position that I have not read so far in this blog, but which I consider very important psychologically as well: she must stand bent over with her torso on the table. It is very important, for our certainty that the chastisement is understood and welcomed by her, that she keep her head resting on the table and bent toward me, so that she can see my movements as I use the strap, and I can see her reaction well in her facial expression and in her eyes. This is also so that I can decide how many strokes are really necessary. In other words: I have (we have) always thought that during a chastisement, especially with the belt, there must always be a good feeling between us. In my experience I have learned that the last 8-10 strokes should be the strongest of the whole chastisement, so as to leave a lasting impression on her both from the pain and the marks in the following days.

        Translated with (free version)

  22. I’m glad you mentioned the sight and sound of the belt, because for the exact reasons you mentioned, the belt is in my opinion the most effective discipline tool. Every time he unbuckles his belt, whether it is to use the bathroom, discipline me, or to take it off at the end of the day, I get a small rush of emotion. That sight and sound makes so many memories flash through my mind, both of discipline and intimacy. My husband and I have been married for 46 years and he used the belt the vast majority of the time.

    1. Thanks for sharing your experience, Rose. The belt really touches on the soul like nothing else. That’s part of what makes it so effective and rewarding. Bless you.

Leave a Reply