I’ve written about giving your wife her first spanking, and I’d like to share a few insights into the wife receiving her first spanking. It can be an intimidating moment for some, and make them wonder if there is any way out of it. Fear and pain are the first things on their mind. That’s understandable. In contrast, some women are naturally turned on by spanking, and could even be excited to receive their first one. That excitement they feel about intimately experiencing the strength of their man, however, can disappear quickly when faced with a paddle. Then fantasies fade away while having your backside lit on fire until your man decides to end it. There are many thoughts going through a woman’s mind at this moment. Sometimes conflicting ones. She’s about to face what she knew she had to from the start.
I want to take a look at the kind of attitude, and the most helpful thoughts to have when you are faced with what can be an overwhelming experience, and at times a healthy amount of fear. Where you put yourself during your time of contemplation. It is assumed a spanking will be painful. It is assumed you will also be out of control of the situation. I’d suggest you should not be thinking about the pain, if you can avoid it. There are better places to put your mind. Not only won’t dwelling on the pain help you, but that nervousness or fear can be a distraction in the mind from much of what is to come. You want your mind on it, and not distracted from it.
Most importantly, I want you to know, is that a wife should put herself in a position to learn. You are about to be taught a lesson and corrected, so your mind is set to receiving a lesson. It’s in receptive mode. You likely already know what that lesson is, or at least some of it, before he begins. Yet you need to receive it directly from him during the lecture and spanking. You listen and you learn. The attitude you have needs to be soft. When you go to be corrected, whether on your knees, or over his lap, you need to let your man shape you as he chooses. You are the clay. He is going to fix that part that went wrong, and put it back into place. He is going to grind down some of those hard spots on you. Be ready to learn.
It is natural facing your first spanking to start immediately to take responsibility for your wrong. Perhaps you already have, but you should seek to own up fully to your wrong and not look for ways out. Most husbands give their wives time to contemplate their situation before they are spanked. That could be by notifying her earlier in the day she has it coming, or by having her stand in the corner. Prepare yourself not by thinking about the spanking itself, but by accepting your wrong, and giving up any need to defend it. Take full responsibility. You need to also see how those wrongs cause harm and how they offend your man, whom you need to help and to honor. If you have done something that would harm him, or harm the household, know that he has an important responsibility to correct you, and to defend against that happening again. It is also an affront to him as your husband. It is not always possible to mull up the deepest understanding of wrong in a short time, or to experience the deepest regret, but you should at minimum understand your wrong, and its harm. At best, you should have real sorrow at your behavior. You should have sorrow at letting him down.
Be prepared, when facing your first spanking, to affirm your full submission to him, your sorrow for your wrong, and your absolutely better behavior to come. Each of these points, and more, is important in receiving a correction, and in growing from the experience. I always advise men to cover at least these points while spanking their wife, and I advise you to be able to communicate them sincerely to him. Make a full affirmation of your submission to him, that you are devoted to him daily, and belong fully to him. You are his woman. Communicate your sincere feelings of regret for your behavior and show understanding of how things need to go the next time a similar situation comes up. When my wife has gone over my knee for lateness, for example, she has always had to express her need to be on time, along with what she has to do if a problem comes up — to call immediately. She knows her wrong and she knows the solution. If there are tears, that is usually better. Tears are a part of a woman’s communication, sometimes naturally, and it can help in fully expressing your sorrow and your love to do better for him. Let him know how good you will be for him, and how deeply you mean it.
In facing your first spanking, remember the trust you have for your man. You chose to join together in marriage. You are led by him daily. You receive love, protection, guidance , and instruction from him. He knows you intimately in the closest way, inside and out. The same person you trust in daily is going to take you in hand and correct you. He is going to deal in a hard way with your soft spot. He’s not going to break any bones. He’s going to refine you and make that spot sore for a while. He has authority to spank you and he knows what you need to be punished for your wrong and given a stiff warning in the future. Trust in his judgment and self-control. Your body is in his hands.
When my wife has had trouble getting through the harder kind of spanking, I will remind her who I am and who she is to me. I tell her I am the same man that loves and protects her, that thinks about her needs, that nurtures her, and that takes her in my arms and makes love to her. It’s not a different person spanking her. I am the same man that loves and leads her, and I also correct her. I know what I ma doing, and I know she will get through it. I am correcting a problem and she needs to hear and learn her lesson.
Ideally, you husband should lead you through much, or all of what I have discussed. He may take you through that before, during, or after the spanking (I do some of all three). He may lead you through some other points as well. Be fully prepared to learn and to receive from him, as I said at the start. Things are going to be better in the future, and wonderful for you both, but you have to go through this brief time of hardship first. Let him shape you, and be glad he is taking the time and effort to do it. He cares about you, the marriage, and the household. Your man is correcting your past behavior, and it will be over and forgotten. There are times it is easy to submit in marriage. This isn’t one of them. Being able to submit, sincerely and deeply, to a spanking, builds you as a wife and a woman more than most anything else. You know your belonging to your man when you submit to something so beyond your control. You know his full possession of you.
The fear of pain can be a heavy experience, and nearly anyone feels it. Pain is meant to be feared. While I encourage women to think about the lesson, and not about the pain, it is hard not to feel that fear. That’s one thing that spanking accomplishes and why it helps many women behave — there is a strong dislike for going through that pain. It is a warning, a deterrent, a reminder into the future. But remember how much some kinds of pain build people up — the athlete goes through pain, often through the rigors of his sport itself, or through the hard training process. It sometimes leaves his body sore, and even bruised. There is pain in growing in life as well, in leaving behind past habits which were wrong, or seeing people depart. The sick patient, being healed by a doctor, sometimes goes through pain to get well; the pain of healing from a surgery, or the suffering of receiving cancer treatment. They are all part of a good purpose. God takes us through pain in teaching us lessons in obedience and in teaching us virtue. He refines us, often through fire. Through all of this we grow, get well, become more fully whom God desires us to be. So while you face your first spanking, and pain can feel like a dangerous predator lurking behind a dark door, the pain is the healing kind, and is deeply linked to the lesson you have to learn. It is being given by a man who loves you for the rest of your life and cares for your good.
I know that sounds like a lot to prepare yourself for. Perhaps just worrying about the pain sounds simpler. Those other levels of preparing for your first spanking have their own challenges. Taking full responsibility and truly being sorry can feel just as challenging than being spanked hard. Once the spanking begins, it can get difficult to focus on the points I’ve talked about — some women feel overwhelmed by it — so it’s best if your man talks you through them. It could be very intense on your end. His verbal leadership can help you get through the spanking and learn from it well.
A final thing to remember is that it all fits together in a correction. That pain which is coming soon, as you await your first spanking, can often help in stimulating everything else I’ve talked about — the humble attitude, the learning, the vocal affirmation of your regret. So can having to undress, and humbly bend over to be corrected. The waiting to be spanked works together with the rest to each play a role in learning from your man, which is what I’ve mostly spoken about. That spanking he will give you is a tool, his little assistant, in teaching that lesson. Just prepare yourself, be ready to learn, and submit yourself fully
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