Preparing to Give a Spanking

Don’t go into giving a spanking as a spontaneous affair. On nearly every occasion a man should have a clear idea of how he will perform the discipline of his wife when he needs to spank her. It may be possible that a man could take care of discipline well spontaneously, if he finds she must be spanked in the moment, but discipline is a serious process, and for a specific purpose, and requires thought and care. It would be irresponsible to take the weighty task of correcting your wife and treat it like its not worth your planning. A man who need to correct his wife should be prepared beforehand about the type of punishment, the message he needs to send, the need to be firm and unwavering, and the task of leading her to self-understanding.

What is the lesson you need to teach her? This might be the first thing in your mind. It is most likely a lesson about her misbehavior or attitude, but it can include teaching her about her wrong motivations, and her failure to listen to warnings. A good lesson deals with the wrong of the behavior, as well as her needs for the future, in being good in her behavior and staying out of that kind of trouble. You will find it helps to plan out some of the words you will say, or questions you will ask her during her session over your knee. Know what you will say and be confident about it. For example, “I do not accept disrespect from my woman. That is an attitude I never expect to see. You should be very sorry for your behavior.” Any discipline in our home also ends with a talk about her submission, and need to respect and obey her man. She needs to affirm who her lord is, and what her role is to me. Plan out a simple lesson for her in submission and be ready to deliver it.

Remember the seriousness of the infraction. This can be hard to do after a long day, or if time has passed between her misbehavior and your correction of her. It is easy to grow apathetic. Bring the wrong to mind, along with the disobedience or dishonor she has shown you. The disruption it caused to the household harmony. You should be able to show some forcefulness in expressing the wrong of her behavior, and your rightful offense at it. It is right for her to be punished and to face a hard time now. Let her know in no uncertain terms the wrong and the harm of what she has done. You do not permit that in your home. You do not allow your wife to behave that way. She is going over your knee. Recognizing the seriousness of the wrong is going to help you instill that understanding in her. It will also help you deliver a sound and just punishment, which acts alongside your clear lecture. She should receive no apathetic spankings from you.

Plan for the severity of the punishment. Will it be longer or shorter, harsher or milder? This will prepare your heart to deliver the discipline, until it is finished. It will also help you decide what instrument to plan for, as the instrument can vary the level of severity. While households vary in what they use to spank, we all know the difference between a simple hand spanking, and a grueling hard paddling. In considering the offense, and whether she has had warnings before, or whether any immediate harm was caused, know what kind of discipline you will deliver before you need to give it. Consider all the factors in deciding a just punishment.

Be mentally ready to make her aware of her own responsibility for her act. Nearly anyone will try and find an excuse for their behavior, and a wife about to be spanked will often start mouthing them automatically. It’s a natural reaction. You need to point her to her wrong clearly and firmly. You also need to reject her excuses. Let her know that she made the decision, and she will pay the penalty for it. One of the best ways I have found to let my wife see her own responsibility is to ask questions — Did you decide to do this? Did I tell you before I do not accept that behavior? Were you ignorant of what you were doing? Questions like these demand an answer from her, and that answer will acknowledge that she made the choice and that she knows it is against the rules, or just plain wrong. Her own answers will trigger her mind to look at her decision. Be strong and don’t waver. Don’t endlessly debate with her either. Let her have her say, but if she doesn’t want to see her own bad choice, that’s her decision. Tell her why she has earned it, and spank her.

Do not be moved by tears. Crying because of being found guilty, and crying before a spanking, is common for a woman. It’s uncomfortable to face. She thought she was better than that, and now she’s been shown to act badly, and humbled in front of you. It will help her to cry, both before, and during her spanking. In some ways, she is dealing with her guilt, and also pouring out the tension which has arisen. The walls are coming down. She is more able to express her own sorrow and remorse with tears than without. You can let her know you understand it is hard to face, and reassure her of your constant love for her. Then let her know you are going to fix things now, and it is going to be fixed over your knee. She has stepped out wrongly, and you are going to take her back under your wing with a spanking. Her tears are a benefit to her, not an obstacle to you doing your job.

On an obvious, in preparing for a spanking, don’t forget to have your tools of discipline ready, or anything else you might need during the session of afterward. Unless it doesn’t matter, know which room you will take her to as well. Plan your time, which will be longer if you plan to use corner time, and shorter if not. Leave enough time that you can have a short talk with her afterward, and restore her to you peacefully. For some couples that will include physical intimacy. I don’t think most spankings benefit by being short, though an on-the-spot correction is necessary on occasion. Discipline is a process. There is learning involved, talking, restoration. An important work is worth the valuable preparation.


6 responses to “Preparing to Give a Spanking”

  1. nicolelinn45 Avatar

    Aron. Just wanted to say thank you for this site. I don’t comment on everything but these are being read. I appreciate the insight.

  2. Do you ever worry about needing to cool off before spanking her? That you may be too angry in the moment if she has said something highly disrespectful that you may be too harsh and feel bad later..

    1. That’s a very good question. I don’t worry about it personally because I don’t get angry much. I would be calm if I gave the spanking in the moment just as I would be later. However, for many men that is one benefit of waiting a little while, and making sure to prepare carefully — it allows for cooling down time. It assures the spanking is given with a calm firmness, as self control.

      A wait can be good for the wife as well, and gives her the chance to collect her thoughts, and meditate on her wrong. A spanking should be a purposeful discipline. It should be appropriate to the wrong, explained clearly, and for her good. It should never be used as a chance to let off steam.

      Thank you for visiting my site.

  3. Thank you, Aron, for spelling out so clearly what a good husband must do. This is truly the type of leadership that women long for, even when they fear it. Women want to be held accountable for their actions and will respect a man who holds them to it, fiercely, and over his knee. Our desire to submit to our man’s strength is built deep into our feminine hearts. Tell us you won’t stand for bad behavior, and spank us soundly until we cry. We will surrender sweetly in your arms. It’s the way God intended, and more men should follow your lead.

    1. Yes, a man who is not prepared to be firm in his discipline will easily find himself run over completely, even by a good wife. He needs to be unwavering, and remember he is responsible for her, and for her betterment. She will end up over his knee regardless of any excuses. You are right to note that a woman will respect this strength. Deep in her heart she longs for it.

  4. […] ready for this before any discipline session. Not only should you be prepared to shine a light on your wife’s bad choice, and reject her excuses, but you should be ready […]

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