No . . . Not the Cane!

The cane has been an instrument of civic punishment for millennia, and similarly in schools nearly as long. We can see uses of a literal rod for punishment in ancient Greek and Roman schools, as well as in early China and India. Small, primitive tribes in Africa have been known to use various kinds of stick, including bamboo to punish evil doers in their villages. The stick of some kind, whether whippy like a cane or stiffer, is an ancient tool of correction, and rightly a feared one. It was also likely early in history that canes were used to correct disobedient wives, and we can read of their use in early America as well. The Bible teaches the rod to be used to punish children, a revelation given to us probably close to three thousand years ago. Some of us heavily associate the cane with British school discipline. This is not simply because it is featured commonly in discipline stories, but because it was actually used in British schools until fairly recently. You don’t have to do back to a heartier era to find its use in schools. It lasted until the late 1980s in public schools there, until it was stopped by law, and it hung on in private academies and Christian schools in the UK until the later ’90s and early 2000s. There are still people walking around in our culture who have had to deal with it when they were corrected. They’re not all that old.

In marital discipline, the cane is about the harshest instrument you will find. Certainly the kind of cane used is lighter than those used for civic punishments on criminals, but it is still a severe encounter for her. It will test her, and make her wonder if she will make it through. Some husbands, such as myself, never use the cane, because it borders on injury and could cause long-lasting injury if one slips up. Husbands who used it, among the ones I’ve spoken to, keep the cane for the more serious and repeated infractions. They take it out as rarely us once every few years, to deal with their wife. Otherwise it sits in the closet or in a case. If there are husbands that use the cane as the regular form of discipline, I have never spoken with them. Because of its harshness, few will do this. The cane fits easily into the history of wife spanking because of its use in schools and in homes, bus also crosses over into different territory, being an instrument to punish criminals with. There are plenty of wives who are thrilled their husband has never gotten one. The cane pushes the limits of what she can bear in correction. She’ll want it to end from the first stroke.

While I do not use it, the cane is fitting for severe infractions. Its pain is greater than other instruments. It leaves an immediate wave which can cause a yelp, but then continues to burn, almost brightening in its heat. You might say each application takes a little while to deliver its venom, as it gradually sinks in. The cane also leaves welts easily. How major depends on the force used, and the heaviness of the cane. Either way, this will add to the severity of the punishment, as the soreness the following day will be greater than other tools, and she may loath sitting down. She will carry around a battle scarred behind for time to come, to remind her to behave, and to impress when spotted in the mirror. I don’t think a wife who merely breaks a minor rule will end up receiving it. Yet if she is bring boldly disobedient, or repeatedly dismissing her husbands’ authority, it is fair this avoidable lesson comes down. The name of the pain will be the cane.

A wife will find it hard to forget how undesirable it is to receive. It can be a trial, with many tears and wailing to get through. For this reason it can act more strongly as a deterrent than a lighter commoner instrument. The behavior that leads her to receive the cane is going to be something she makes sure to avoid. She never wants to repeat it. For this reason, a husband needs to communicate his rules especially carefully, and she should also know specifically what might result in this harsher correction. Having to go through that ordeal will leave her with alarm bells that go off if she thinks about repeating her mischief. You don’t step on that third rail. Many husbands have instruments that already serve this function, but if the response of the ladies is any evidence, the cane is still the worst. Myself, I am content with using my paddle for the harsh discipline, but I would not pretend it is the most fearful. That is why men choose to use it, and women avoid it.

A husband also needs to show special care with the cane. It requires more precautions than use of a belt or a paddle do. He needs to moderate his distance from her. The force of the swing. The location he applies it. The number of strokes. He should apply it deliberately and with care, knowing the strength he needs to bring the necessary fire, and also how much strength to hold back, to avoid injury or extreme pain. Husbands I’ve spoken to, once they find the right strength, find that five or six strokes of the cane by itself can be a powerful lesson. Others, depending on the kind of cane and the infraction they punish, go well over that, but still nowhere near the number with a belt. The bottom only has so much space, and landing on one spot twice is far harsher than with other tools of correction. Even when used for civic punishment, canings are kept to certain limited numbers. In the home they need to be as well.

A husband’s care extends to paying more attention to aftercare than usual. The state of her rear after being corrected this way should be examined. He may use oil or lotion to prevent the sensitive skin breaking, or chafing too much. A woman may find she really needs to avoid sitting for a while, and find it best to sleep on her belly. Full recovery for her backside will probably take longer than her other spankings. The men who are willing to take these precautions, and go to extra trouble, will find it worth the effort though. They see that extra harshness as an appropriate response to her terrible behavior. She will never want to do it again. He will surely reach her brain with the cane.

The cane instills a sense of formal discipline, much like the paddle. Its use as punishment in society and in schools certainly adds to this sensation. A woman being corrected this way often feels more under formal discipline than when simply flipped over the knee and strapped. Being bent over, with the master lecturing calmly and lashing her occasionally, is much more institutional than it is paternal. It’s not that warm. He typically has physical distance from her. He is methodical. She does not see him has he walks behind her and above her. She has to wait through his lecture for each stroke to come down. This sense of formality can help her cooperate with her husband, and go through the discipline session. It also impresses the mind with the seriousness of the crime, and with its need for justice. This is not a — come let me take you by the hand and spank you. It’s a — you have violated the law, and the correction system will deal with you. Undress and wait here.

Canes come in a wide variety. While there are indeed short canes that cane be used over the knee, these push the limits of what a cane is, so I speak of the longer kind. These could be two-foot long not including the handle, or longer. They can be made of rattan, bamboo, or various synthetic materials such as lean or delrin. Each has its advantages or drawbacks. The thinner canes whip more at the end, and will not leave as deep bruising or heavy welts. The thicker kind, up to half an inch for marital discipline, will bite deeper, and require more careful recovery. The husband can moderate how strongly he uses them, of course, but some are naturally harsher than others. Traditionalists will like the canes made of various wood materials. Those who endorse the plastic ones have something to brag about, in that they can avoid breaking even over much time.

Much like the paddle, the cane is an instrument associated with discipline. Couples generally will not keep it in the open — as you could with a belt or a hair brush — but find a private place to keep it, even protect it with a carrying case. While not as easy to travel with as most tools, the cane is still lightweight, and differing varieties would fit in a medium travel bag, or a large one. However, due to terror concerns, I don’t know how you’d do on a plane with a cane. You can expect with much use, or misuse, or accident, some canes will break, but the cost of a new one is not exorbitant. Just be careful how you handle it. Most users will be unfamiliar with its use, and its varying levels of power. For this reason, it’s a good idea to try out two types, to see how it performs, whether lighter or heavier, thinner or thicker. They are almost different instruments. You will definitely have a greater learning curve here, men, but over time will manage its aim and power with great control.

Any husband should consider the cane as an option for severe infractions. He should judge its usefulness, and be prepared to start slowly and take care if he chooses to train his wife with it. It is rare, but a part of the spanking landscape. I enjoy that variety that exists. Every home is different, and has its unique quirks. Some men correct their wives simply with an old fashioned hand spanking over the knee. Others choose between a variety of instruments, even having four or five in the home they can use, according to their needs or their tastes. Few homes, perhaps with an eye on tradition, will use the cane, because severe behavior deserves a more fearful punishment. The wife may only be spanked with a hairbrush much of the time, but if she becomes rebellious once again, she’ll find there is a new way to train. That’s the cane.


29 responses to “No . . . Not the Cane!”

  1. […] I have never used one, you’ll find some who use discipline keep a cane around the home also. This old-fashioned instrument is an the high end of pain, which is why it can […]

  2. […] common choice for a more severe instrument is the cane. While I find the cane a little too dangerous for my own practical usage, I respect those who make […]

  3. I have avoided using the cane. I think it can be too harsh. It’s the same reason I don’t like using the hair brush. I find the strap to be very effective without being excessively harsh. Also a punishment session does not involve just the spanking. There is corner time which can be even a greater deterrent , dependent on the circumstances

    1. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

      I am sure your wife is grateful to you for only using the strap, I know I wouldn’t want to ever be spanked with a cane or the loopy that other husbands use, either. The cane and the loopy leave nasty bites do I have heard, they would make for a very unbearable whipping for sure.

  4. Karen O'leary Avatar
    Karen O’leary

    When my husband and I first decided on a DD marriage, I knew I wanted him to be very harsh with me. My greatest goal as a wife is to be gentle and pleasing to my man. We have a cane, and while he doesn’t use it often, he does break it out when my attitude is especially bad. In fact, I got the cane just a couple of weeks ago when we got into a bit of an argument over something RIDICULOUS (whether or not to find a new dog groomer of all things) and I just wouldn’t back down. Boy was I taken to the bedroom, stripped naked and caned on my behind very quickly. As much as it hurt I am so grateful for the lesson. I should not argue with my husband – it simply is not my place as a woman.

    1. Thank you for sharing your experience Karen. It sets a good example for the other ladies that you know your role, and you know what to learn from the lesson. Bad attitude can definitely be curbed by firm discipline.

  5. Busy Dad Avatar
    Busy Dad

    I’m thankful canes or heavy paddles aren’t needed in our household. Maybe if your wife spent time in juvie? That’s a joke, but really, men, what specifically are your wives doing that requires a special implement to curb? Please don’t take offense. I sincerely don’t get it.

    1. Hello Busy Dad, I did not see any cane users reply, so I’d like to reply regarding harsher than usual punishment in general. It is common for the spanking husband to keep a special instrument for the harder punishment, or to simply use the ordinary ones to deliver that kind of uptick in punishment. I use a smaller paddle for it myself, but I could choose something different too.

      I find either the worst offenses, or repeated bad behavior is worthy of it. In my home, those are things like direct disobedience, or lying, both of which are very rare. Leaving the children in danger would also qualify. I don’t think the cane is unworthy for that kind of discipline, but I skip using it because of potential danger.

      I hope that helps you understand better. Thank you.

      1. I couldn’t conceive of a behavior that would warrant such a harsh cruel and potentially dangerous punishment such as a cane. If a Woman was taking drugs, endangering her children with neglect, abuse beit verbal or physical or if she were to physically strike her HOH and chastise him in public and have no remorse. Adultery where she wants to come back? I mean maybe then… But for the usual stuff no

        1. Sure, for the normal infractions, a cane seems overly harsh. If you use the cane, it’s best kept for something serious.

  6. Long Time Practitioner Avatar
    Long Time Practitioner

    I have a piece of 3/8″ ID PEX tubing 30 inches long that makes a great cane. It has only been used a couple of times to correct a few very bad things that my wife had been warned about repeatedly. She had to bite on a pillow to keep quiet while I was blistering her bottom with it. I put a decent handle on it and it handles well I believe from her reaction to it’s use. As you said, a cane is a harsh implement reserved for only the worst actions. Ours has a thong on it so it hangs in the closet waiting patiently for the need to use it. The begging and pleading before and during it’s use says tells me it is an amazing implement well suited to bring about lasting change. After a good tune up with a cane there is quite a period of time where my wife behaves with total submission. The cane is not for every relationship but in some it serves well.

  7. My husband achieved the same submission from me with a thick strap. When he takes it out I know my butt is going to get a good hiding as he really lays it on me. Then corner time with a very large plug in my butt.

    1. Winnie Avatar

      What is the purpose of the plug? Isn’t anal seen as unnatural?

  8. Kelli Avatar

    I have never felt a wooden cane but my husband does use the rod from the blinds – it can easily be removed – unfortunately for me. He has also used a dowel rod. Thankfully I haven’t felt either very many times like you mentioned, they are eager for serious infractions.

    1. Old Soul Avatar

      I use the curtain rod regularly. It’s rather ingenious, as it’s always hanging there when needed, quiet as a mouse, and never prompts uncomfortable questions.

      1. Thank you for the advice. The curtain rod is a regularly available instrument to be sure. I have used the small ones before, but they bend or break. I’ve stayed away from the heavy ones because of their weight. They are surely as silent as any cane.

  9. Sophia Avatar

    Oh, Aron, I truly hope my man never uses the cane. I can’t imagine what I might ever do to deserve it, and it makes me shudder with fear to think of it. I suppose that’s the point, but surely a stern warning that he’s considering using such a fierce implement would be enough to keep me in line. As a woman who is far from perfect, I expect I may get to know his belt from time to time and not just his strong hands. Perhaps he may also see fit to purchase a paddle for my refinement, which I’m sure will be about as much as I can stand to bear. Though if he does select a cane for my punishment, I will have to find a way to bear it, because my flesh is his to mold. But I have to agree with your title, Aron. No, please, no, not the cane!

    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Yes, I have never gotten one, but I believe even a warning of its use would bring immediate results.

  10. Haily Avatar

    Thankfully the cane or more of a rod that we use it only used for the worst of sins. I loose all control and wet after a couple strokes of the rod:(

  11. 93% of men are prisoners in the US only 7% of women are in the US. Busy Dad asked What specifically are wives doing to require a special implement to curb?

  12. Lucky my husband only used a cane on me once and he didnt like it (nor did I…) since it was too harsh. He says the strap is good enough and he prolong the spanking as needed instead of going for a harsher instrument. He got the cane after we got married because he know that his father uses one for him mother but after his first use on me he put it away and it have strayed away since then.

    1. I’m sure you’re grateful for that, Sandra. Fortunately for a lot of ladies, the cane is not very commonly used in wife spanking. But I don’t think it’s a bad idea to keep it around for a particularly hard case. Thanks for your comment.

  13. […] riding crop works a bit like a short cane. In fact, its a similar size to some short cane varieties that stretch the definition. Being […]

  14. tryingtosubmittohim Avatar

    We do not have a cane and I hope we never have one. So far, the wide thick hairbrush paddle seems to be the worst. The long string leather paddle (when I’m on all fours) has quite the sting, but I kind of prefer it over the hairbrush paddle over the knee.
    He has not used his hand or his belt yet. I guess I’ll find out how those compare when it’s time.
    Thank you for your description of the cane. It’s helpful to have this information from a trusted (and not bdsm) site.

    1. tryingtosubmittohim Avatar

      *strong (not string) leather paddle

    2. You’re welcome. The cane is something to avoid, and any wife would never want to experience it. Some of the instruments you mentioned will be formidable if used correctly.

  15. […] one. But you can choose a more severe instrument also, to make things easier. Some husbands keep the cane only for more severe corrections. Yet I’ve given history-making spankings before with […]

  16. lesleyderby Avatar

    We do have a cane, but to date it has never been used on me, my husband from the start of our marriage said it would only be used as a last resort should repeated bad behaviour warrant it.
    I do however as a monthly ritual have to take out the cane and apply a coat of Linseed oil to it with a cloth, which helps me focus and is a constant reminder that it is there should it be needed.
    To date he has used his hand, wooden backed hairbrush and a leather strap to punish me.

    1. Thank you for your comment, Lesleyderby. I appreciate how that ritual works in being a reminder to you, and it serves to keep the cane in good shape too. Strap and hairbrush are more than enough to take care of punishment, but the cane is appropriate for something severe. I don’t use one, but I understand its value. I will post another article on it in the coming months.

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