Wives Teaching Wives

I’ve only recently used these pages to invite singles to meet here for marriage with a like-minded partner. I want to use this article as a chance for newer wives to meet with more experienced ones. Discipline is a topic that many are private about, and tell few if any people they practice. For this reason considering discipline in marriage, or beginning it as a new wife, can be a lonely calling. There are countless doubts, questions, and fears that arise, even after one has started, and many are uniquely answered by other women.

Older women have gone through the experience, faced some of their fears, learned and grown in submission already. They can offer encouragement, comfort, and counsel to the younger or newer wives. Any women who have questions or would like to invite others to speak with them can comment below. Feel free to leave your contacts. Take all the normal precautions you usually do on the internet. Since I have seen some experienced women comment here already, it is always safe to look for familiar names that have appeared, and left good thoughtful comments.

Another area of help, which I’ve heard ladies speak on, is the desire for a husband to lead, who simply will not lead. That’s a tricky situation for any wife, especially since she is submissive to her husband, and cannot tell him what to do. If there are women who’ve been through this experience, learned from it, overcome it, that would be great assistance to those newly facing it. It can feel futile asking your husband to lead, or to discipline you. Sometimes what a woman needs from you is simply a simple insight, or an encouraging light. There are difficulties and problems that continue for years. Other times they are overcome with merely a word. Either way, women walking together with other women is a natural and fulfilling way to learn.

The struggles that a woman has is not unique to her. It may feel that way because discipline in marriage is lonely in this modern world. Just know that others live through what you do. Millions do in the West alone, and many millions more have similar marriages in Asia, Africa, and Latin America. They are the experiences behind closed doors. Women also have questions about sex, and submitting to their husband in the marriage bed, that are handled well by other women who are godly and mature. A woman should know she has a trusted friend she can always turn to. That trust among women is special, and the friendship close and warm.

Naturally, the Word of God is the foundation of all things. No wise counselor could ever lead astray from God’s will for marriage. Never take any advice which goes contrary to Scripture. Be rooted in what marriage is about. Seeking advice is mostly learning to apply those teachings and be more successful with them. It is what we learn from experience and tradition, which are good but not perfect teachers.

Help one another to submit.


89 responses to “Wives Teaching Wives”

  1. CoTxGrl83 Avatar

    Well I’m a teeny bit shy being the first wife to say something, but I am a wife who lives a very commited life to Domestic Discipline. We are 100 normal and prettt much no body knows that we do. Our marriage is pretty normal my husband always includes us and our thoughts and wishes in decisions just like normal, the only difference is if we can not come to an agreement or a solution he will say I have made a decision that is final. That is my que to say yes sir and with a loving heart begin supporting him. Sometimes it’s not very hard. Sometimes when I have conviction and many emotions about it I struggle to do that. We have already talked about whatever this is for a long h time, he knows my feelings and always takes them into consideration, ans most of the time actually he likes what I say and we do it. Truly almost always. It’s those rare times when you just can not agree or get on the same page. This is a huge deal in a DD marriage Vs regular marriage. Some people fight for hours, they yell and say things they don’t mean, or sometimes things like this can go on for years!!! Truly! In DD marriages that does not happen. You do not get to that level. It is decided and that is what we will do period. So back to the times it is so hard to calm down, and not say another word for your “side”. Now this is an exact thing that we go through. Sometimes I just Can not say yes sir to something. I know Where it will get me my I feel so emotional I will go off again and on occasion I have Gotten so angry I used Very disrespectful words and that is it. He will worn and say you have a chance right now to get it together, but one more sound or word we are going downstairs right now. I’ll stay silent a bit and then- it couldn’t be stopped again.

    He stands up, comes over to me sternly but calmly takes my arm and we go. When we get down there he tells me where to go, which is over the side of our bed or on the chair where I will Go over his lap. He then will either open the drawer and get a wooden spoon, or the wooden bath brush, if he doesn’t go to the drawer I hear his belt. Really any three of those is not going to be pleasant. I am already starting to feel like maybe what he said isn’t that big of deal. I usually maybe except once when I was Very stubborn am already beginning to say I’m sorry. He will acknowledge, but at this point it’s to late. He will then sit down and
    I go over his left knee. In our house, He will take off my shorts, pants, and underwear and then he will situate me by holding me prettt tight around my waste before he starts, he pretty quickly will put his leg over mine to help me be still. He does not start easy at all. A lot like Aaron described he talks to me, tells me I know Better, and lots of things. I amswer His questions which is not easy to answer while you are getting a spanking so so hard. I start Crying when I go over and it doesn’t take me long to move on from what I had A problem with, and support him. I always end up begging him to stop that I am Sorry and I will Support you. I usually get to a place where I basically can not beg anymore and that is usually the end. We talk about it, and I apologize And I immediately do what I need to do. Most of the time it turns out totally fine! I always think I coukd Have avoided that why could I not Stop! I get Very emotional so I do Struggle.

    So this is an small example of how things work in our DD marriage. All of them are very different. I know this is a different lifestyle, but I tell you it has changed our marriage in the most incredible ways! We have illuminated all of the arguing! It is incredible!! I also Do truly believe in being a supporter to my husband who leads our family. Truly there can be only one leader. In a situation there has to be a final say.

    It has truly brought him closer to all of us. He is much more in tune with me. He used to shut down when I got angry. He would not want to talk and sometimes would go
    Away from me and say nothing. It was sooo hard for me! I felt so alone. Now he hears me and billion times better. He listens so much more, he absolutely never shuts down. He takes control now. He never leaves, he has confidence he will handle this situation so I think he feels safer hearing my thoughts and feelings and really puts them into consideration.

    I also Have never respected him more, been more Attracted to him, have never felt safer in my life. All things things really happen y’all!!

    We have so much more peace and laughter in our home!!! There are a million different things to talk about. If you are a woman or even man who have any questions I would totally share my experience. We have for sure found our way over the last 5 years. It takes time to figure out a routine and now exactly it all works. It is an interesting jump if you have been married and are just starting. My advice is communicate together about expectations, commit to this lifestyle together. If you do commit really search your heart. Make sure you get joy from serving others, being in the helper place, and supporting no mater what. Make
    Sure you find joy in running a home and cooking, and taking care of all the things for him, yourself, and kiddos if you have any.

    The first time a spanking happens it feels a bit embarrassing but just go for it and keep going. It will all come Together!! A routine will be formed and you both know exactly how it will go.

    We do live a very commited CDD/DD lifestyle and it is incredible special to us because it has done so many amazing things in our lives. It i
    Not for everyone, but if your husband loving and supporting you, and holding you accountable without raising his voice or getting angry. He has a way to handle things he doesn’t like or want in his family and life, and he is so much calmer than he has ever been. His confidence in this, being a Dad, a man, even at work I swear I have Noticed a leadership and confidence in him that has formed even more.

    Well I have No idea if this is what Aaron had in mind. I wanted to share with you a little bit how we do things in our home. So you had a bit of an idea. If anyone has any question please ask. I will Answer then as honestly and openly as I can. I’m guessing this has been on your mind and heart for a long time. You have always needed structure and discipline in your life to feel safe and calm. I wrote this because I do Believe in it. I mean I really Truly do. I am Not a professional. Just a woman who has experienced transformation in my marriage in the best way, living this life.

    Okay well thank you so much for your time hopefully us woman can talk about things, I think that would be amazing. I love Reading other woman’s posts and experiences!!!!

    1. Thank you for taking thee time to share in so much detail. It provides a good picture of a dd marriage for those who want to learn. I was also thinking of leaving e-mail contacts, for those women who would like to communicate personally, or at more length.

    2. Rachael Avatar

      I love this 🙂 I have been married for 5 years and came across DD as I’ve been looking into more traditional masculine/feminine marriages. It’s so hard to separate how it works in real, loving relationships and people who are basically just making up erotica. Thank you for sharing your experience so genuinely! I am so happy for you ❤️

    3. jbratland Avatar

      I would love to reach out. Would you be willing to give email? Newer to CDD and your frankness and normalcy spoke to me.

    4. Hi, CoTxGrl83! Your comment resonated with me. We are very new to DD (11 years married) and I am looking for women to support me in my submissive role. Any interest in exchanging emails?

  2. A learning wife Avatar
    A learning wife

    Well here we go! I am a young woman still just starting out in life. While my husband hasnt had to dicipline me yet, I still have my struggles and I would still love to meet other women, and form some more friendships! I have already met one sweet, wonderful woman who has become a blessing to me in multiple ways! Just knowing there are other women out there who believe in submission is amazing to me and I feel like I have so much to learn. I would love to form some friendships on here, and would love if anyone wants to email me that they please do so!


  3. Long Time Practitioner Avatar
    Long Time Practitioner

    I know my wife has spoken to a couple of our nieces about being disciplined by a husband. They are quite rebellious and would benefit greatly by a good spanking. Time will tell if they are taken in hand or remain rebellious. I would love to see them both sitting very gingerly on a well welted bottom… It would do them a world of good.

    1. This isn’t a weird thing to say about your nieces at all.

      1. I can see how it would sound kind of weird, Lemon. But when you see rebellious women, it’s not a rare thought to consider their husbands’ discipline would do them a world of good. In fact, many husbands out there put a stop to bad behavior and rebellion quickly. Some women really can use that help.

      2. Long Time Practitioner Avatar
        Long Time Practitioner

        They are in their late 20’s and early 30’s… Very disrespectful and in need of some firm guidance. I hope they marry men that can take them in hand and turn them around. I do not mind spirit in a woman but disrespect is another thing. They are my wife’s nieces. I have only been in the family for about 7 years so they were this way before I became their uncle

  4. Wiktoria Avatar

    Absolutely amazing article! I my self am a new to this lifestyle and my partner and I have been trying for a few months to find what works for us. Honestly the past week has been the best since we started this journey. I would love to meet other women who have experience or are still learning about this!!! I’m loving all the positive results and changes that we have accomplished

    1. Thank you for commenting, Wiktoria. I hope it works out well!

  5. nicolelinn45 Avatar

    My husband and I have been in a traditional, Christian marriage from the beginning. We both wanted a DD marriage. I have learned a lot about being a submissive and obedient wife, but I do fall short at times and will continue to grow until the Lord takes me home. My husband is naturally dominant and in charge. I am mostly taken OTK and he does spank hard. He typically uses one of his implements he has made or picked up some where.

    I will speak with anyone that wants to chat about anything and we can support one another.

    Nicolelinn (Nic)

    1. Thank you, Nicole. I appreciate your willingness to help.

  6. Tryingtosubmit Avatar

    Hi I am a wife in a new-to-DD marriage that is having some troubles. We have been together 8 years and started DD a few months ago. Before this I was always quite controlling and dominating and this led to a kind of power struggle and lots of arguments. I am trying very hard to be submissive and obedient now but it is hard to break habits and totally change. My HoH is, I believe, naturally dominant but he is struggling to really take the lead and take full authority and responsibility for me. I am feeling a bit lost as I need his guidance and discipline but it just isn’t happening, do I just need to be patient and let him step in to his authority? I would love to hear from other wives who have succeeded in bringing DD in to their marriages and being submissive to their husband.

    1. I would recommend a lot of patience definitely! There is a learning curve if you weren’t raised in a household that expected male leadership and female submission. One thing that will help is to ask your husband to lead prayers. My husband is naturally quiet and not prone to domination. However he has a powerful heart for the Lord and I have a strong desire to be a righteous Christian woman. As he led me in Bible study and religious conviction, he became more able to lead in other ways, including determining when I needed punishment for straying from my goals.
      I will lift you up in my prayers.

    2. nicolelinn45 Avatar

      Hi Trying

      I agree with Valerie. Be patient. God may be dealing with him or working on something in your husband. I think we women tend to get ahead of God because we want something now! Pray about it, then let God do His work. In the mean time while you are waiting you can show your husband what submission looks likes. Refer to him in everything, ask if you can go places that you normally would not ask about. Maybe answer with “sir”. Don’t argue.

      The bottom line is that he is your husband and thru prayer and faith he is going to run his household as he sees fit. I have to remind myself of that sometimes


      1. Great advice Nicole!

  7. I think that for women raised in the church, who marry men in the congregation, it’s easier because it’s already taught to both that a marriage is led by the husband. and that a good wife is meek and submissive.
    and before we were married my husband told me that he intended to lead our marriage rigidly, and that there would be consequences for wrongdoing.
    my advice to anyone looking for a DD wedding is to start attending church

    1. Thank you. That’s great advice.

    2. Ninna let me add, the young lady needs to find the right church. As conservative as the Church we attend the minister never talks about using spankings to correct wives. This was even true of our previous minister who did in fact spank his wife. We found out about this quite by accident. After this I was open about my use of corporal punishment with him. I do not share this with our current minster. His wife seems well behaved at least as far as I can observe, so I suspect she is no stranger to a spanking but this is just speculation on my part. Because I was able to be open about this with our previous minster he was able to have bible classes for my wife and daughters that covered the full range of the topic of Christian marriage. I think this was very useful.

      1. nicolelinn45 Avatar

        I wish this was all normalized. To be able to say”my husband spanked me hard yesterday” and to have friends that don’t make a big deal out of it and that may say “yea I got a bad spanking 2 weeks ago”. Then to be able to discuss what we did wrong and even get some advice from other women to help with submission.
        Now it is normal to tell your friends, Me and my husband are not speaking right now and I won’t let him sleep in the same room, He made me so mad…….continue to put down their husbands and laugh about it.

        It would be nice if a movement would start in the Churches but I think most Churches have ‘the spirit of the age’ on them, just like the world.


        1. Thank you. Yes, discipline should be normal. As you point out, the churches have actually normalized the near opposite. The churches in general conform to the world, and not to the mind of Christ. Even those that teach male headship soften and qualify it so much you’d be uncertain if there is real authority and command involved. Spanking certainly should be talked about comfortably among friends. That is in part what this website is for. Blessings.

      2. AMEN. One is acceptable, the other isn’t, and it is destroying this country. It happens in reverse, too (husband turning the wife out) which is what happened to me. I’m dealing with it. It’s not fun. I actually get sympathy, though, which I doubt the husband would get (who is more likely to be turned out).

        We did have a DD situation for a while, but it was mostly when he was just plain annoyed by me and didn’t want to be bothered with the needs of a wife; I’ve spoken of it elsewhere. It happens. It’s just the way life is sometimes. I’m now a single mother and Christ is my Husband. I know He is never going to leave me, desert me, turn me away. He is all I need!

      3. Yes, we do need normalise discipline in a marriage. I want to go to the doctor with marks on my butt with out a fear that my husband gets troubles. I want to go swim with out been judged.
        Since centuries women were under men, been disciplined and spanked, why these days it is a bad thing? I don’t get it. It’s my husband right to discipline me.

        1. Anna this happened to me. It was a long time ago, I think I was in my twenties. Bob gave me the strap because I was not keeping the house the way he wants and I had a Doctor’s appointment. During the exam he noticed that my behind has black and blue marks. He asked me what happened so I told him I was a bad girl and I got a spanking. He just laughed like it was a joke. I wasn’t embarrassed that Bob spanks me but I didn’t want him to think he had to protect me and cause trouble. But he just thought it was funny. I always wondered if he spanked his wife.

          1. In general it is not safe to tell medical staff that your marks are due to a spanking, since there may be laws that actually require them to report that as “abuse.” I would have to know the person well, and be familiar with what the laws are to even consider it.

      4. Nicolelinn,

        You wrote, “Now it is normal to tell your friends, Me and my husband are not speaking right now and I won’t let him sleep in the same room, He made me so mad…….continue to put down their husbands and laugh about it.”

        I noticed when I got married, that if we got in a fight, my husband for some reason would NOT COMPLY when I told him he had to go sleep on the couch. Imagine that. I was befuddled — wasn’t he supposed to go sleep on the couch when I wanted him to? Isn’t that what husbands did when their wives were angry with them? No, he had the “audacity” to tell me that if I didn’t want to sleep with him, that I could go sleep on the couch, but he wasn’t leaving the nice cozy bed.

        When not angry, it actually turned into a long-running playful nightly game of “Whose bed is it?” I claimed ownership of our bed, and he counterclaimed it and told me I was deluded to think it was mine. He would say, “You’re so confused, poor thing.” And we had a lot of fun laughs and wrestling matches over the bed and who it belonged to. But the root of it was this idea that a woman should be able to kick her husband out and have him go sleep on the couch.

        One time in the midst of our playfulness he melted my heart with a statement a little too serious for the game: “You have it backwards. It’s my bed, and I chose you and invited you to join me in it.”

        As fun as the game was, it disappeared after I got serious with God that I owe my husband submission. It’s just not very fun any more.

        (I may cross-post this at my blog too Aron if that’s ok with you.)

        1. Sure, if you’d like. That’s a good example of some of the ridiculous fighting that headship and submission put in the past.

  8. I believe churches adapt to the world so as not to lose popularity.
    although our church, which is quite traditional, does not talk about physical punishment, it emphasizes the role of the husband as the leader of the home and the wife as a submissive, I believe it is a first step, and facilitates the introduction of the subject of domestic discipline for who wants it for their wedding

  9. Hello all! My husband and I just began implementing discipline a few weeks ago. We have found that it has done some incredible things for our marriage.

    However, for me, it has been a bit difficult. I love my husband. But, I have been getting spankings at minimum 3 times a week. Mostly for not doing my Master’s coursework, rolling my eyes at him, and not having my phone on me. I am trying to submit to him, but it does not come natural to me. Most of my issues has to do with forgetfulness.

    My husband said, despite the frequency, he is seeing an improvement. I feel very loved. Don’t get me wrong. But is it normal to get spanked this much? For the past week, I have had to sit gingerly. I am worried about my ability to get my act together. Does it get better? I am hoping this begins happening with less frequency.

    1. Thank you for your comment Elyse. I know spanking can really help a marriage, and often does so quickly. I’m very glad you’ve found discipline helpful already.

      It does take time for a woman to internalize submission, and learn the tools to practice it well. The heart takes some softening, the attitude humbling, and it takes practice to learn to always honor your husband with your words.

      I would expect that spankings become less frequent for you. That is the norm when a woman is seeking to grow as a wife, and a husband is punishing in a just manner. I’ve never found it necessary to spank three times a week, but each marriage is different. In my home, I’ve gone from giving a spanking every few weeks to every few months, although earlier this year my wife got in trouble just one week apart, after she was recovering from the previous one. It will keep you sitting carefully until they become less frequent.

      Definitely trust in your ability to get your act together. I’ve seen other women succeed, and I know you can do it.

    2. Elyse every women is different. A young wife raised to accept her proper place has a difficult enough time learning how to obey her husband but for young ladies raised differently I would think it’s much more difficult. I rarely spanked Jane three times in one week but at the beginning of marriage she was certainly spanked fairly often. I can’t speak to your exact circumstance but it might be that the spankings may not be severe enough to leave a lasting impression. I sometimes tended to give ineffective spankings at the very beginning, but over time I was able to give spankings effective enough to humble and motivate Jane to have submissive and obedient behavior.

    3. nicolelinn45 Avatar


      I am sure it will be better especially if you are both working for the same goal and you let your heart soften under your husbands discipline. It takes time to break habits and establish new ones. As far as forgetting, put alarms on your phone to help. I have done that. When my husband is away from home I have to text him when I get up so he knows I am ok. I can’t tell you how many times my butt got busted when he got home because I would forget. Then he just had enough of spanking me for the same thing and I really got my butt tore up, I thought it would never stop, I was worn out and limp over his lap. He used that one implement that I HATE, Long and Hard. I had bruises and blisters and reminded of my punishment while sitting for days! Now I have reminders on my phone to text my husband. 😇
      Although now it is just a habit but the alarm really helped at first.

      When you are being spanked really try to think about why you are getting punished. My husband talks to me and asks me questions the entire time and that helps me focus on why I am OTK. He has learned to read my body when he knows he can stop and that he has gotten through to me. It takes time and communication. You will get there.

      Give us an update.


    4. I’m so glad you decited to try DD, it is a very good thing for females. Beginnings are hard and often painful but with every month will be better and easier. Every next discipline gets you closer to your better version. Just let your husband be a leader and try to be grateful for each spanking because your husband takes care about you by giving a lesson you need te learn. If you will be a good student you will get less and less spankings. Don’t give up, DD is an amazing tool and you are very lucky your husband wants to help you with yours struggles.
      Cheers and good luck.

  10. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

    I have read several men’s comments here and I strongly agree with Aron and Bob and Longtime Practioneer. Husband’s if you want your wife to submit and be respectful and this includes me here in this equation then you have to correct our bad behavior and nip it in the bud when you first see it happening, you have to make the spankings effective that means a long and hard spanking that would detour us as wives from messing up as often and we will be looking at our bottom’s and be sitting carefully because the soreness is definitely there for quiet awhile long after the spanking is over.

    1. Thank you for your valuable insight.

    2. nicolelinn45 Avatar

      Iamhis. I agree. We women need that immediate and consistent consequence for bad behavior. It also took some time at the beginning of our relationship for him to know how hard and long and what to spank with for maximum effectiveness.

      1. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

        Mine uses his belt that is the only thing he uses and it hurts just a couple of hard strikes with it and I am already for it to end!!

  11. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

    You’re welcome Mr. Husband

  12. How does a single person find a like minded person for a relationship. I am single and all that is out there are regular dating sites or BDSM sites. I am desiring a solid Christ follower as my leader and someone that I can submit to. But I am struggling with finding someone to date. Any thoughts?

    1. Hello Amy, Thank you for your question. That’s a common situation to be in, since wife spanking isn’t talked about much, and since bdsm pretty much has cornered the market on discipline. A lot of people don’t know where to begin.

      I always recommend simply looking for a godly man that you know to respect traditional gender roles. He should have a clear understanding of his own leadership in marriage, and of a wife’s submission. Certainly he should respect everything else the Bible teaches on marriage. This is usually a good place to start, because men who already believe in gender roles may believe in spanking also, or at least be willing to consider it.

      When you are getting to know each other, make sure that the topic comes up. It fits into a discussion of headship and submission easily, even if it feels awkward to bring up. I’ve heard from several women recently who were in the same situation, and successfully broached the topic with a prospective mate, or with their husband. In most of these situations, the man at least is willing to try.

      Here is one of several articles I have on introducing spanking in marriage. It is focused on the woman’s strategy: https://spankingyourwife.com/2020/05/16/asking-your-man-to-spank-you/

      I also invite men and women looking for a mate to comment on this article: https://spankingyourwife.com/2021/04/01/your-place-for-singles/

      I hope that helps. Let us know how it turns out.


  13. We are fairly new to using DD, but I can already see improvements in myself. For so long I was not being a good, obedient wife. I couldn’t control myself or submit to my husband on my own. Now that he whips me until I cry I know that I need to be obedient to him. I fear my punishment and because of that I can submit myself to his authority even when I don’t initially want to. Somehow him disciplining me has made me respect him more. I feel more attracted to him and I feel happier in our relationship when he puts me in my place. I was hesitant at first as feminism is so ingrained into our culture at this point, but I can now see that this is the perfect model of marriage: a master – servant relationship, as God intended. I feel blessed that God has led us down this path. I encourage anyone looking into this way of marriage to do it. Of course the punishment is not enjoyable, but when it’s over I feel connected to my husband in a way that never happened before.

    1. Thank you for your comment. I’m so happy discipline has been helpful in your marriage. Often just introducing it starts to bring immediate change in a marriage, a deepened relationship, and better behavior. It’s no surprise you can respect your husband more, since you can experience his power and authority more deeply now.

      It is interesting, as far as a master and servant relationship, that Ephesians uses the same comparison for servant to master as for husband and wife — to submit to masters as to the Lord. They both contain that same key ingredient.

      However, the marriage relationship is much richer than mere master servant, as it typifies Christ and His people. It includes being lovers, friends, and struggling for the truth of Christ together. A husband cares for the good of His wife many times more than a master for the good of his servant, although certainly there are good, and loving masters out there He is invested in her protection and growth in Christ.

  14. I’m so glad I found this site and would have loved to find it years ago! I grow up in a non spanking home and when my husband talked about DD (before we got married) I mostly mixed it up with BDSM and it took some time to see the difference. I learned most from long discussions with my husband but also a lot from his mother that have lived in a DD relation for over 40 years now. But outside that I do not know anyone living like this and wish I had more friends that I would be able to learn from. I now do submit fully to my husband but in the beginning it was sometimes hard to understand, with some outside advice perhaps it would been easier (and also saved my butt from a lot of the spankings). The biggest eye opener for me was how much love you get from your husband! His roll to take care of you and your best makes me love his so much more and now that I fully see that I’m very proved of submitting fully to my husband.

    1. Thank you for visiting my website. I hope it will be helpful to you. There are a number of women who comment here who are disciplined in their marriages. I’m sure some would be willing to connect with you.

      I can see how much discipline has helped you, and it sounds like your husband as well. Very happy you have it in your marriage. Feel free to comment anytime, or write me with any questions. Blessings.

    2. That’s awesome my husband and I have been working on DD for 3 yrs and hardest part is to stay consist! I am with you I have no friends that practice!

  15. To the females:
    It is our nature to be submissive.
    Try to make a different between punishment, correction and maintenance spanking.
    My husband spanks me regularly twice a week. And I am pretty okay with that.
    I can endure this kind and level of pain.
    From time to time he uses the belt on my thighs and bottom. It really hurts a lot.

  16. Speechless and Sore Avatar
    Speechless and Sore

    Last night was the first spanking. I had no real warning throughout the week. My husband sent me this site last month. I’ve always been religious but he recently became a believer. I didn’t know what to think when we had our weekly check in and he said I’d be spanked for certain actions, and then proceeded to whip me with his belt while explaining how this is the new normal and he’s in charge.

    I don’t know how to cope with this.

    1. Hello Speechless, Thank you for writing, and for visiting my website. The first thing to do is remember the lesson your husband gave you, and let it keep you away from further bad behavior. Work on taking it to heart. Let him know you regret your behavior and will do your best from now on.

      It also sounds like perhaps your husband has not talked with you a lot about discipline. I’m glad he shared my material here, but it’s also imperative that he give his own explanation to you. Communicating about this topic would be very good, so you know how things work and why. He should be specific about what his expectations are, and what will lead to a spanking. He can answer any questions that you have.

      Accepting such firm authority can indeed be something very new and awkward at first. It’s not the kind of authority many people are raised with today. It can seem surreal to get bent over and spanked when you’ve never been through that before. It takes adjusting to a new reality for sure. Spanking offers the challenge of being able to see your husband as the one who loves you and and as the one who punishes you at the same time. We like to think of those two things harshly in contrast a lot, but we can adapt and learn to see they come from the same person, with the same good aim.

      Feel free to write me at my e-mail below or on the contact form if you wish to discuss discipline further in private. I’d be happy to help you both in your journey. It is a long road, so just take it step by step.

    2. Amy Amilf Avatar

      It’s always challenging at the beginning, Speechless, but I know you will come to appreciate your husband’s disciplining belt. Ultimately, you will feel more regulated and also closer to him.
      You can also try to be proactive by asking him if you can dispense with wearing panties, especially around the house, so he can both enjoy your body more easily and also access your bottom for quick spanks if required.
      You could also ask him if he’d like you to shave, if you aren’t already. (I’m mostly lasered, but I kept a little hair just for the ritual weekly shave.)
      And offer to service him orally after he’s marked your bottom with his belt. Both of you will feel much better and closer if he agrees—at least in my experience.
      Hugs and kisses as you make your way in this newfound part of your relationship.

      1. Speechless and Sore Avatar
        Speechless and Sore

        on Sunday’s he holds a discipline session, and these four consecutive weeks I’ve earned the same severity of spanking. Monday’s hurt the worse but I have taken the after advice, which he gives me praise for initiating because it feels like an act of appreciation to him.

        Still, I find it equally challenging to transition from punishment, remorse, reflection, and then appreciation in one evening. I cried heavily during the sentence.

    3. speechless you say are religious so you must know what the bible says about how a wife must obey her husband in all things. We sinned because we listened to the devil and then got our husband to sin too. God made us to serve our husband and have children. God doesn’t want us to ever disobey our husbands , they are our rulers on earth. Our husbands can punish us when they think we need it. Your husband had a reason for taking the belt to you. You must have been disobedient or disrespectful. You won’t get spanked if you learn to be obedient and always act respectfully to your husband. I think you should respectfully ask your husband why you got the belt, you need to learn how to obey him better. But that’s why you got a spanking, you weren’t obedient or talked to .him without having a respectful tone.

  17. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

    I haven’t been spanked in 3 weeks now I have been very respectful and talk kindly to my husband and I think before I do something now. I am using my common sense so I don’t get another 1 anytime soon. Spankings hurt always but I know my husband wants what is best for me.

    1. That’s very good. Putting in the effort to be respectful will get you results. My wife usually goes several months without a spanking, but there are exceptions. I’m sure your husband appreciates your better behavior.

  18. iamhissubmissive60 Avatar

    Yes Sir, I believe he does. I know after a long stressful day on his job, the last thing I want him to have to do is have to spank me for something I should have known better not to do in the first place. I have found that a peaceful home is what he wants to come home to not a wife that is need of discipline. So I have been really working hard in our home to make sure I have his dinner ready so he doesn’t have to wait, that used to make him agitated. I make sure everything is done during the day so when he is home he gets my undivided attention. Have a blessed weekend.

  19. itsallaboutthejourney07 Avatar

    I wish there was a class, group or study for wives teaching wives that focused on older wiser wives mentoring younger women who need to grow in being Godly, submissive And obedient wives..
    I am currently seperated from my husband, we did not practice Domestic Discipline, but I wish we had. Looking back, so much of our fights and issues could of been either addressed or avoided all together if I had submitted to my my husbands authority over me, discipline and focused more on fulfilling my role as a respectful, loving and submissive wife.

    A group for serious God based guidance on changing my attitude, behaviors and the thinking that led me to my marriage’s current situation..
    I sure there are many other women out there in similar situations where they could use the accountability, correction and guidance before it’s to late. Im looking to grow in my submission to God, and his plan/role for me as a wife and my rightful place under my husband’s authority..
    Ive been spanked for discipline before I was married (by disciplinarians as well as in a long term domestic discipline relationship years ago, so I know it’s something that works well for me. And even though my husband has never been a “HOH” type in our marriage, I pray that changes in the future. But I need to focus on what I need to change with me and not on the changes I want in him…
    I don’t know… Just my food for thought.
    I absolutely love your site.

    1. Thank you. I’m happy you appreciate this discipline website. I absolutely encourage women to mentor other women in being godly and submissive wives, as well as in how discipline can help guide them. Many problems can be avoided when a wife learns to rightly honor her husband, and humbly accept correction. I know there are already some women who have received help from this page, and I hope you are able as well. A class would be a very good idea. God be with you.

  20. mala(wiola) Avatar

    Hello. If there is anyone from Poland here and would like to show off about dd, please send an e-mail: wiola8919a@gmail.com

  21. My husband and I have been practicing CDD for some time now and it has been a steep learning curve for me.. I suspect for him too. I have found that I have grown tremendously as a wife (and mother), as well as a person in my day to day life through us incorporating DD into our marriage. It has been transformative to say the least.
    At first we kind of dipped our toe in because it sounded sexy, but in short order we studied and read, studied and read and talked/texted ALOT about it. Quickly it became a very serious part of our marriage. As I said, it has been a steep learning curve for myself as I have navigated the waters of what submission means and looks like, what my husband needs in a wife, how to submit to painful spankings, etc.
    I started writing thoughtful commentary to questions about DD on “QUORA”. It’s just a hodgepodge website of people asking and answering questions on any/everything. However, I found it helpful to use my skills in writing to hopefully help others who want to truly incorporate DD/CDD into their marriages without having to maintain a website. I have written well over 40 articles/commentary on the subject. My pen name is “Jayla Kay”.
    If you are needing female mentoring and are new or want connection as an experienced DD wife, I am free to help/connect.
    Email me at

    1. Thank you for your offer to help ladies with being submissive, and accepting discipline. I’m very glad you have experienced the benefits of discipline in your marriage. It is richly rewarding.

  22. My husband and I recently got married and he is just now bringing up the idea of wanting to incorporate CDD. I am having a very difficult time wanting to fully submit to his request to this lifestyle. I just cannot even imagine him of wanting or trying to discipline me. I do love and respect him, but I am also an independent woman who doesn’t have a problem making some decisions sometimes. Does this lifestyle really benefit and enhance marriages? We already pray together.

    1. Hello Patricia, Thank you for your comment. I can understand how you would be surprised by your husband’s choice, if you haven’t become familiar with discipline and its purposes. It may be that your husband has always known the good of discipline in marriage, or perhaps he has recently discovered it. Spanking can provide a turn around of some poor behavior by a wife, helping her to get past bad habits, and correct passing wrongs. It is also very effective in giving the husband the tools to lead, and helping a wife deepen her submission. I have seen it turn around trouble marriages, and help make already good marriages work better, and become closer.

      Certainly, if you are a woman who tends to be independent from your husband, and who tries to take charge instead of him, then you can see how focusing on submission, and being disciplined for that behavior, could help you and your marriage. A spanking can help you more fully embrace your femininity as well, and be very responsive to your husband. He needs to know that when he leads, you follow, and do so with a gentle heart.

      I can see it helping, and would be interested in hearing how he puts it into practice. I have never regretted using spanking in my marriage from the start.

  23. Italian husband Avatar
    Italian husband

    About this, I remember a dialogue. I was 14 or 15 (early ’70), in a mpuntain locality, in sumertime. It was early evening, a dialogue in the last light aoutdoor. Three women (my mother, her cousin, another lady, age between 40 and 50) and 4 or 5 sons and doughter. They talked about another woman that had a terrible behavior toward her husband and maybe (they say) betryed him. One of three womean (not my mother was very angry anìganst taht woman, and said: “Her husband must lay her on the knees, pull down the panties and spank her ’til she cry. And then use the belt. So I thing, this is the right sistem”. I was there, and I remember that the oter two women (including my mother) nodded with conviction. I meditated a lot of times in my life about that episode. Now I think that every woman can help another one (or more) to comprehend her rule and feel the justice of the corporal punishment. They were very sure abut the words that I listened. Wr were in itlay, North Italy, 50 years ago. I thik that nothng must change.

    1. Italian husband Avatar
      Italian husband

      I’m sorry, I read my words and I notice a mistake: that episode was not in “early ’70” but in “late ’70”, I thik 1978 or 1979, I apologize with you, sorry.

    2. Italian husband and wife,
      Please if I have harmed our friendship, I beg you to forgive. Please my husband and I dearly miss you both. Please I hope you see this, that you are doing ok, and that you can message us soon.
      Heather and hubs.

  24. “Help one another to submit.”

    Aron you do have such an amazing way of constantly holding the plumbline where it needs to be.
    After being surrounded most of my life by people who dismiss the very idea of wives submitting to husbands, it is unbelievably precious and shocking each time someone encourages me now to submit to my husband. Especially now finding sisters who say such things to me. Ultimately that’s what all this is about, not spanking, not discipline, but honoring and submitting to our husbands and observing a holy commandment of God over our marriages. But spanking helps 🙂

    Anyway, I just wanted to share that a bunch of us wives (although it’s not just for wives) have been finding each other in some facebook groups.

    –“Fundamental Christian Domestic Discipline”
    –“Traditional Christian Marriage Roles and Discipline”
    –“CDD – That Thing We Do”
    –“Over the knee CDD”

    There are also groups for men, such as
    –Christian Men Who Practice Domestic Discipline

    and DD groups that are not specifically Christian.
    –Women Who Practice Domestic Discipline
    –The Domestic Discipline Melting Pot

    In the non-Christian groups one finds things that are somewhat surprising to traditionally-minded Christians, such as men being disciplined by women, but those groups can still share a lot of info on implements and safety and so forth. There are also groups for singles looking for CDD spouses:

    –Christian Domestic Discipline Singles and Information

    Anyway, hope that helps!

    1. Thank you for sharing, Heather.

    2. nicolelinn45 Avatar

      Hi Heather

      Thanks for the information, however I got off Facebook and Twitter after this past presidential election due to censorship. Do any of those Facebook groups have other websites?
      Also does anyone know what happened to domestic discipline forum? That group just disappeared in March.
      You can email me if you would like. nicolelinn45@yahoo.com.

      Thanks again Heather.

    3. Thank you for this post. At one time, I felt like I was the only wife in the world who was spanked by her husband.

      1. Thank you. I believe it is important to teach and support one another. I know it can be lonely.

    4. Ashley Byrd Avatar
      Ashley Byrd

      Heather are these Facebook groups “secret” where no one can see you’re in the group?

      I am also hiding my email but it will go directly to my inbox if you email me (which we have been, Heather).


  25. Hello again, fellow sisters in submission,
    There is now an ongoing chat group of just women (no men allowed, to the best of our ability to discern) that some of us started together on Telegram (it’s an app for your phone or computer) for women who are learning to walk all this out. We don’t want to post the link publically to the group but if you email me at rodofkindness@gmail.com we’d love to get you connected.

    1. I am planning to email you at the above link.

    2. Kathryn22 Avatar

      Hi Heather,

      I am a relatively new wife (married almost 2 years) and am subject to my husband’s leadership and discipline. I would love to connect with women who are in like marriages. I would love to join the telegram chat and have already emailed you.



  26. lesleyderby Avatar

    Hi, although I am only just over one year into a dd marriage if anyone wants to chat about anything I would be only too happy to chat with anyone who wants to talk.

    1. Hello. I am a submissive wife and just started DD in my marriage. I would like to be in this women’s chat group, if it is still available. Best regards Anna.

      1. Hello Anna- I am proud of you, being in DD marriage. I was in DD marriage before computers and my husband just called it an old fashioned marriage. It was like a marriage from the 1950 or before that. We had a list of rules and I got many many spankings. I love to support couples in DD marriages- I would be proud if you wanted to email at johnsonjelena45@gmail.com. You or anyone else needing a hug or some advice.

  27. Greetings to all
    I am an older but not wiser lady who was raised when corporal punishment was still legal at school in the Uk, was disciplined at home by my parents, by my late first husband and by my current one. So have a life time’s experience.
    Punishments hurt or are humiliating or both, no getting away from that. But, and it’s a huge but. I have a loving, faithful husband, we never argue, no shouting or cross words, no blackmail or bribes. Everything is always out in the open and settled as soon as anything comes up. I will take a happy, loving and peaceful home any day even when it costs me a sore bottom. I will heal but many marriages fail I hate failure.
    Always happy to reply.

    1. That’s a very good way to put it, Joan. Spanking puts a great number of problems in the past quickly. It is a key to a happy home.

    2. Heather Avatar

      Is that offer to email you still available?

      1. Heather Avatar

        Hey Heather, 
        People here might confuse you with me, which may be good or bad depending on the opinion they have of me (but I must warn people do seem to have pretty strong opinions one way or the other.). You may want to add an initial or some other signifier, since I’ve kinda been making a mess here all over Aron’s blog for about a year, and didn’t have the foresight to use an initial while I was doing that.

        Heather 🙂

        PS — we’d love to have you in the women’s group that’s running on Telegram!

  28. I’ll like to find out more! I’m joining my fiancé in Wales and would like to ask if anyone has suggestions for a supportive church community for both of us after we marry, especially in the area of CDD. Thanks! 

    1. Thanks for your comment. I hope you find good fellowship there.

    2. I don’t know any churches in Wales but I do know some CDD folks who often spend time in Wales.  

  29. His-bride-Lauren Avatar

    Hello all, I think this is a wonderful idea, because most of the time I feel like the only person in the UK who is living under their husband’s leadership. It would be lovely to have someone to talk to.

    I suppose my concern, and certainly my husband’s opposition to me befriending people on this page, is that they turn out to be either someone fishing for information, so they can mock our lifestyle on Reddit or similar. Or else that they are someone who pretends to live this way as part of some sexual fantasy. I would hate to be either someone’s material to mock or else an unwitting source of titillation.

    I realise it’s the internet, so I could be the King of the UK or the president of the US or anyone, really, but does anyone have any idea how to at least attempt to verify that someone is genuine? The idea of sharing such intimate details of my life and marriage with someone who is just pretending for their own benefit feels really exploitative. I realise it sounds dramatic, but I would feel a bit violated if I discovered that the person I was confiding in was using my life to mock or as some sort of free pornographic material.

    It takes strength to accept your husband’s dominance and even more to live under his guidance, foregoing your own personal preferences to serve him. To hand over control for your own life and submit entirely to another is something so beautiful, which makes you simultaneously so powerful and so vulnerable. The (rare) marital issues we face, my discipline sessions, my various shortcomings – these are all things I have shed many tears over. I have desperately prayed, lost sleep, wept and have agonised over these issues. For them to be treated with anything other than respect frightens me. Yes I get smacked and that’s unusual, but my marriage is about so much more than that. It’s about trusting my husband to guide our family through life; handing over complete control to his better judgment, from what I read, wear, watch or eat, to the company I keep, our sex life and everything in between; it’s about accepting his decisions as the best, even if it’s not the choice I would have made; supporting him as he works and provides for our family; showing him appropriate gratitude and respect for the strong leadership he shows to myself and our son; reflecting on my own shortcomings and striving to improve myself, for both god and for my husband. It is about love, respect, worship and submission. It is NOT a glorified BDSM relationship, with some references to god thrown in just for fun. To us this is the most beautiful, precious thing and I would feel so violated if someone cheapened that to a Reddit post or a masturbatory aid.

    Sorry, I didn’t mean to get so emotional! But if there are any genuine people out there, I would love to speak to you. Thank you

    1. aronhusband Avatar

      Hello Lauren, Thank you for your comment. I’m glad you see the value of having support from other couples who also live like you do. Their are surely more than a few in the UK, and I have heard from a few UK couples personally. I have seen helpful marriage meetups occur through this website and the people associated with it.

      I recognize the desire to treat your intimate life with respect. As far as telling if someone is fake, there really is no way to know for certain. In my experience, there are certain stock experiences which fakes portray, and they do so many times. It just feels like a formula. It feels like a simple regurgitation of much of the information you might read on a discipline website. Some fakes will through in a detail or two which is extreme, either for thrills or to make a mockery of things. If you are suspicious of someone being fake, you can always drop a hint, or even ask directly. However, rarely can you know for certain due to the nature of the internet.

      If you would like I can recommend a few ladies to speak with whom I am confident are sincere.

      Take care.

      1. His-bride-Lauren Avatar

        Thank you, Aron. I am sure there are a fair few people who practice CDD in the UK, but sadly I don’t know how to find them. It’s not the sort of question I would feel comfortable asking someone, no matter how well I knew them. Our church is wonderful in terms of the sermons, the church community, the fellowship groups and so on, but they have a very neutral stance on marriage, I presume to appease the more moderate members of the congregation. We are not keen to change churches, as the services are truly moving, and it is a great place to worship, despite their lack of traditional marital guidance.

        I expect you have indeed become very experienced at spotting a fake, as you must encounter so many of them when running the site. I wonder how they have so much free time on their hands, to be able to waste it so pointlessly. I have no experience whatsoever, but the things that always make me feel a little unsure are when people use terms like “master” or “daddy” for their husband. To me that is a very BDSM take on things, rather than a CDD. I do see the benefit of “Sir”, because it’s a general term of respect used for men, and it is a good way of expressing your reverence for your husband. But some other terms feel a bit too kinky to me. Maybe I’m wrong though, I’m not sure.

        I know what you mean about the inclusion of extreme details being a red flag. I saw recently a comment saying that a woman was being punished twice a week. It made me think, either the husband is smacking nowhere near hard enough or else the woman is the biggest masochist around. Getting two in one week is not unheard of, I think I have suffered this fate myself in the past. But to get two hard spankings every single week for months on end is just ridiculous, in my opinion. You would be on your absolute best behaviour after a few weeks. I understand at the beginning people may get smacked more, whilst they’re still getting used to their new roles, and the husband is establishing his authority and breaking her in. But even still I find several punishments per week to be inconceivable. I got paddled on Saturday morning and the next day at church I had to fold up my jacket and sit on it (much to my husband’s amusement). That’s from one punishment. I think having loads would be excruciating and unrealistic – the idea of not being able to sit comfortably for months on end seems crazy to me. However, maybe I am mistaken. In any case , I agree with you that extreme details seem to be a red flag for a faker. No doubt I’m being too neurotic, but I just hate the idea of being the object of ridicule.

        Thank you, I have been emailing with the lovely Cresta and I will be joining the Telegram group too, which I am very excited about. If there are any other people you think I would get on with, I would love to speak to them too 🙂

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