Too Good to be Spanked

Many couples bring spanking into their marriage to deal with bad behavior, and seriously rotten attitude when it occurs. Many find it useful as overall training in submission as well, building and maintaining a wife’s soft attitude. The subject often comes up, however, of wives who are naturally submissive and have a heart to serve their husbands. Are they too good to spank? Should we take spanking off the table entirely? If she knows to submit so well, isn’t it a pointless endeavor? She is, well, nearly perfect!

I sympathize with this situation, and I know there are many wives gifted in their personality to be submissive. Some wives do better than others. I also expect that a great deal comes down to the judgment call of the husband. He needs to decide if spanking is needed, and if it’s being effective. Questions like this, as with other judgment calls, allow for different views among husbands. Each person and marriage is different.

I will offer a few ideas though. The first is that, while some women do naturally have a gentle character, and while any woman truly living her Christian faith will be meek towards her husband, I’ve found they sometimes do need to be corrected. The meek and not-very feminist wife slips out of her fine attitude. The diligent wife finds she can reverence her husband over and over, but then feel comfortable dismissing his requirements, or ignoring his commands. A good wife can easily become so comfortable in her goodness, and the overall peace in the home, that a sweet nod — yes honey — takes the place of real obedience. I think many couples will know what I am speaking of.

I also speak from personal experience, since I am married to a naturally meek wife, but one who still needs correction from time to time. Don’t assume a gentle submissive attitude in a woman prevents her from passively being disobedient, or from neglecting her work. It still happens. A good and gentle wife I find needs to be spanked far less often than a woman who’s new to submission, or who has an attitude. She is much more peaceful to be married to as well. She may instead simply need a spanking every few months, or whenever it is called for. The humbling of being bared, turned over, and spanked gives her the reminder she needs, just as it readjusts the surly woman. The sting of the spanking, and the words that bring shame to her, affect her as well as the more hardened woman. Sweet, quiet wives do benefit from the strap on their bottoms, just realize it is needed less.

Are there any that don’t need discipline at all? Personally, I don’t think so. However, if you find she is submissive, respectful, and responsible, and that other methods of guiding her are a startling success, then feel free not to use corporal punishment. Not every marriage needs it. There’s no reason to invent excuses to spank when there are no serious infractions. Moreover, a woman who is meek and obedient toward her husband should know it will keep her out of trouble. The biggest bar to decide is her behavior, as well as the effectiveness of the discipline. If discipline is helping her, even if it’s rarely needed, then keep it around. If it’s useless, and you find better methods, you don’t need to practice it.

I’d say my philosophy is — no matter how good of a wife she is — you keep discipline on the table. She needs to know it is your decision whether to use it. She should understand that as her head you can spank her when needed. That leaves you with the easy option in the future if you find she needs her attitude corrected. You don’t need to introduce it in the middle of a marriage, previously undiscussed, to right a sinking ship. You’ve talked about it. She understands what will happen, and you can bring it in if you ever find the use.

So while I respect that some marriages don’t need spanking, I advise to keep it openly in marriage as an option. I would not be surprised to find there are a number of husbands who thought they’d never need to correct their wives, went years without doing it, but then discovered almost overnight it was urgently needed. That’s why you have that tool. That’s why she knows there is a heavy belt hanging in the closet. Women are not perfect. Gentle women rise up in rebellion. Christian women start following their own desires, instead of listening to their husbands. Spanking will help turn around a variety of these problems, sometimes very quickly.

Submissive women need guidance in being submissive. They need help in growing in their gentle attitude and showing reverence for their man. It’s not one-hundred percent internal. You can expect they will benefit from at least the occasional trip over your knee, to receive a firm lecture and a spanking. They need to be humbled, bared, cleansed of their wrong, and corrected. Then you will see them blossom and grow.


25 responses to “Too Good to be Spanked”

  1. Long Time Practitioner Avatar
    Long Time Practitioner

    My 1st wife was very submissive and needed a lot less spanking than my current wife. Most of my 1st wife’s spankings were with my hand over my knee where she was very repentant after. Strap spankings were rare but given very vigorously with spectacular results. We were married for 27 years and for the last probably 8 years she was spanked perhaps once a year.

    My current wife requires much more attention to keep her respectful and submissive. Her bottom is no stranger to the strap or switch or cane as needed. She is a very good woman but headstrong in some ways that need a more harsh correction. I am sure there are wives that require little or no spanking. Of course a reminder spanking might not be a bad idea to keep them focused.

  2. I believe I am a good wife, naturally submissive, gentle and godly, I never disobey my husband or respond insultingly.
    yet my husband finds just reasons to regularly discipline me.
    when I’m too eager to organize an event or dinner, a severe spanking calms me down and helps me focus.
    the spankings also help me achieve my goals, like going to the gym regularly to keep myself looking my best for my husband.
    when I miss gym classes, or skip exercises, I’m always severely punished, and this helps me a lot not to repeat the wrongdoing.

    1. Thank you for sharing your experiences and feelings, Ninna. Spanking for being irresponsible certainly is just. I give my wife spankings for neglecting her responsibilities as well, though it does not relate to the gym. It definitely is a motivator.

    2. That is so awesome! Your husband seems like a great guy. The discipline keeps you on your toes.

  3. I’m spanked for failing to get permission to go out on my own and not telling my Sir where I am. He wants to know my location at all.times and I resent this.

    1. Hello Jan, My wife knows she needs to let me know if she is going out somewhere, and has gotten very good with this. I do not insist I know her current location constantly, although naturally if I asked she would tell me. This helps the home run harmoniously, and shows respect for my heading the home, some of which requires I know where she is. After all, I may need her for something, in the present or the near future. So she will always message me, or leave a note.

  4. I agree completely with Aron here, he makes an excellent argument. Generally a husband should not spank his wife without cause , but I think there are exceptions. A husband should make very clear to his future wife that she will be spanked anytime he decides she needs to be corrected. He must make clear that he and he alone will decide if a punishment is needed, she gets no vote in this decision. A young wife must go into marriage with a clear understanding of this. She must understand that when she says her wedding vows to obey her husband this includes his unquestionable authority to punish her by tanning her behind In my view every new wife should expect to be given a sound spanking on her wedding night with the implement of her husband’s choice to establish his authority to correct her anytime he sees fit. There is also the issue of reminder spankings, but I think these should only be employed for older wives who have been well trained by their husbands and have the habit of submission and obedience. Most young wives will be feeling the strap, paddle etc. on their behinds at the beginning of the marriage often enough . One would also hope that a young wife comes to the marriage having been well trained by her father with a mother who is an example of an obedient and submissive wife. Each of our daughters was strapped by me on their wedding day to associate a sour behind with their wedding vows. Unfortunately this kind of training at home is often absent I also agree with Aron that the implement of correction should be placed in a conspicuous location as a reminder to the wife of the consequences of disobedience and disrespect

    1. My mother paddled my butt two days before my wedding because I was being a total B… lol looking back I needed it

  5. I’ve found an occasional smack on the bottom dramatically improves behavior. How best to make this more formal, with better understood rules and full cooperation with any necessary sessions?

    1. Hello Dodge, Thank you for visiting my site. If I understand correctly, you are asking about how to introduce discipline in general as a practice, rather than just the occasional swat. It definitely is best to have some formality, as well as understanding of the roles by both husband and wife. I have several articles on introducing spanking, or starting spanking in your home that might be helpful to you.

      Most important is the mutual understanding of the man’s headship, and a wife’s submission to him. You should both embrace those roles and live them. My wife and I both believed in that before we were married. I simply explained how I practice discipline as part of my leadership, including what my basic rules are, and how I give a punishment. They naturally go together.

      You’ll want your wife to understand what behavior is out of bounds, and what a correction amounts to. Set good, clear, helpful rules. She should also understand the purpose of correction, which is not to vent anger, but to correct poor behavior and bring her back to the kind of attitude she should have. It is a loving practice for the betterment of the home.

      She should know that she is expected to cooperate because she is under your authority. My wife is very committed to her submission and very rarely is ever uncooperative with a session. However, if she is, I am firm, and explain she needs to accept it because she earned it, and it is my responsibility to correct her. She’s not going to get out of it.

      I also have an article on wives facing their first spanking, and dealing with some of the fear involved. This may be helpful to women who are uncomfortable receiving discipline.

      I hope that helps. Feel free to write my e-mail if you’d like to discuss it privately.

      Here are a few of the links:

      Starting Discipline in the Home:

      Three Early Rules:

      Introducing Spanking into Marriage:
      Facing Your First Spanking:

  6. Aron, I always look forward to reading a new post on your blog. You never fail to give your readers much to think about, and I appreciate how much you try to incorporate different perspectives on marriage in your writing. I think it’s what makes it so easy to relate to. Even though you’ve been married for some time, and have come to discover what works best in your household, you try to imagine what those of us at different points in our lives are experiencing and what reassurances we may need to hear. Your heart for your work shines through, and this reader is very grateful for your efforts.

    I personally believe every marriage, and more to the point, every woman, will need discipline at some point, no matter how loving and soft that bride may be. But, as you so often say, spanking is a tool within a well-led marriage, not a goal in and of itself. To focus on the romanticism (or eroticism) of that particular ritual of submission is to put the cart before the horse. There is peace in offering up my desires to the man who leads me, knowing he will shape them as he sees fit. Marriage has allowed my love for my husband to ripen into deep trust and profound respect. He is my blessed and sovereign ruler, lord of my body and soul. Surrendering myself unto to his hands is thrilling and scary at the same time, a bit like riding a roller coaster. I love my man deeply, and seek to please him always, but we both know what is possible in our marriage should my behavior fail to meet his standards (which, of course, are now my standards, too). We both know a thick belt hangs in his closet for a very particular reason. With God’s blessing, and mine, he may at any time choose to use it.

    1. Thank you Sophia. I’m happy to have you as one of my regular readers. I do try and be inclusive of the variety that exists in spanking households, and I know there is more than one good way to get the job done. Your attitude toward your husband is wonderful.

      Enjoy that thrilling experience of being newly wed, and grow continually in love and submission to your husband. I agree nearly any marriage will need discipline at some point. The belt is always there for a reason.


  7. I have been spanking my wife when needed since we married 5 years ago when i was 20 years old. It has been important for her submission and our deeper relationship. She is a good wife but needs correction. I was feeling pretty alone out there as a spanker till I found this site. It has been so helpful to me.

    1. Thank you for commenting. I’m glad you have found my discipline site helpful. Even good wives need correction from time to time. I know you both will see the positive difference in marriage that discipline brings.

  8. I spank my husband very often.
    When we got married he was very stubborn and didn’t obey at all. Now he is very sweet and obedient.
    We are not christian and don’t believe that the husband is the hoh, but we love your website.

    1. Hello Sandra, Thank you for visiting my website. I’m glad you enjoy it. I think there are commonalities for all kinds of people when it comes to spanking, and certain facets which are universal. I don’t expect only Christians to read it.

      However, role reversal is not something we do discussions on here. Not only is it apart from the overall subject of the website, but it is wrong, as testified both by God and by nature. We even understand it is a “reversal” by the very fact that the man is not on top.

      Since gender roles are not a mere religious doctrine, but are written into our natures, and found their way into nearly every culture, I believe your husband can KNOW it is shameful to have a woman tell him what to do, as well as to remove his power and spank him. And perhaps there is a thrill of excitement in having his power removed, but he knows there is shame attached, because he is a man. He in conscientiously rejecting his manhood.

      I am also confident you can find real fulfillment and joy in being led and protected by your husband, and learning to be soft to him. No woman has real respect for a weak man. That’s a part of you too as a woman. It doesn’t go away just because you intellectually reject it. Femininity is there in your soul as well. God designed us to exist and to move in harmony. The man is the leader, and the woman follows his lead.

      It will be great for both of you and your marriage when you conform to this pattern. It’s for our benefit, and when done rightly brings joy.

  9. Daydreamv Avatar

    I love this website. I crave this authority and discipline. Have you thought about making a dating app?

    1. Hello, and thanks for your comment. I’m very glad you enjoy my website. I hope you can find authority and discipline in your marriage and I am confident you will experience the benefits it brings. I strongly believe in its usefulness.

      I appreciate your suggestion. I don’t have the capacity right now to put together a dating app or site, but I do have an article — Your Place for Singles — which invites singles to comment, and to leave their contacts if they’d like to meet a such a traditional spouse. Several people have already invited others to contact them for meeting.

      The link is right here:

      Take care!

  10. For our marriage, I feel we need reminder /maintenance spanking to keep me in line. It is a reminder that he is in control and I need to step back or calm down. It also stops small behaviours getting worse. For me, it reminds me how who is the boss in the family and my love for him

    1. That’s a good example of how reminders are meant to work. Thank you.

  11. […] Even though I truly wanted discipline to be a part of our marriage, I never thought he would have a reason. In my ignorance, I thought I would only be spanked if he agreed to “maintenance” spankings, […]

  12. […] takes place during these opening months, and several years. While there may be some wives who are fully prepared to submit deeply and to meet their man’s needs, I find that most women do some stumbling […]

  13. We call it attitude adjustment, sometimes I forget he’s my head and need bringing back into line. Sometimes I am not even aware that my submissiveness is slipping but he has a quick reminder and I am back on track.

  14. Thank you for your site. I can’t tell you what an important tool it is to Save marriages. To the people who say everything should be talked out I only say to them their advice destroys marriages. After relationships and a marriage trying to talk everything out, forgiving without consequence and letting the woman embrace everything society tells her that men should have no ”power” over them and suffered how that causes the woman to loose who sense of direction , take the man for granted (and I mean bending over backwards for the woman) and in each case the woman turning herself into a mini-monster I became convinced of the power of spanking. I told my wife when we met, before marriage or sex that I would not start a relationship with a woman not accepting that her husband will spank her when sees fit and truly trust him that it’s for the best and have a sincere appreciate heart for it. She agreed and said she would always try to be an obedient wife . However, she joked once that ”whenever I am in a mood, she is a ready to be spanked to avoid a fight.” I told her that is not the point and since she doesn’t understand that in order to understand the role of this we would have maintenance spankings once a week as part of the marriage non-negotiable. I think she thought it was going to be playful. It was not. That set the tone and there have only been a few cases where I’ve had to go outside maintenance spankings so far. She enjoys them and says not only does it get the lesson across but it makes the relationship feel stronger and the sex better as she understands true submission. I am concerned though that she likes it too much and it may not work as a deterrent long term. I thought about a cane and giving her several warning strokes and telling her that will be used if the regular spanking is not sufficient at it’s task anymore a higher level. She said while that sounds scary she is so happy we don’t have fights and she feels like she is flourishing that she won’t be upset if I decide it’s appropriate. Yet, I am not familiar with that and concerned it may be to severe. What are your thoughts?

    1. Hello Ryan, Thanks for your comment. I’m glad you appreciate the website. The ultimate guide to whether the spankings are hard enough is whether they get the job done. Do they keep her submissive and do they lead her to avoid bad behavior in the future? If they are doing the job, then you don’t need to make any adjustments. If they are not, then you could make the spankings harsher as needed.

      It is possible to make them harsher without the use of the cane, by simply using a harder instrument, or using more force. I avoid the cane because of how easily it can lead to injury, but there are husbands I’ve heard from who use it for the worst offenses. If I wish to give a harder spanking than usual, I bring out the paddle, but that’s not the only choice.

      It is true how many men how no idea how to lead their wife. They really think they have no option for discipline, so they cannot control their wives. Their pastors and friends lead them to believe prayer is the only option. That is really sad, and a lot of marriages have suffered because of it. Discipline is a simple tool, and it gets the job done. A lot of those women who misbehave are privately wishing their husband would do something about it.

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