Many couples bring spanking into their marriage to deal with bad behavior, and seriously rotten attitude when it occurs. Many find it useful as overall training in submission as well, building and maintaining a wife’s soft attitude. The subject often comes up, however, of wives who are naturally submissive and have a heart to serve their husbands. Are they too good to spank? Should we take spanking off the table entirely? If she knows to submit so well, isn’t it a pointless endeavor? She is, well, nearly perfect!
I sympathize with this situation, and I know there are many wives gifted in their personality to be submissive. Some wives do better than others. I also expect that a great deal comes down to the judgment call of the husband. He needs to decide if spanking is needed, and if it’s being effective. Questions like this, as with other judgment calls, allow for different views among husbands. Each person and marriage is different.
I will offer a few ideas though. The first is that, while some women do naturally have a gentle character, and while any woman truly living her Christian faith will be meek towards her husband, I’ve found they sometimes do need to be corrected. The meek and not-very feminist wife slips out of her fine attitude. The diligent wife finds she can reverence her husband over and over, but then feel comfortable dismissing his requirements, or ignoring his commands. A good wife can easily become so comfortable in her goodness, and the overall peace in the home, that a sweet nod — yes honey — takes the place of real obedience. I think many couples will know what I am speaking of.
I also speak from personal experience, since I am married to a naturally meek wife, but one who still needs correction from time to time. Don’t assume a gentle submissive attitude in a woman prevents her from passively being disobedient, or from neglecting her work. It still happens. A good and gentle wife I find needs to be spanked far less often than a woman who’s new to submission, or who has an attitude. She is much more peaceful to be married to as well. She may instead simply need a spanking every few months, or whenever it is called for. The humbling of being bared, turned over, and spanked gives her the reminder she needs, just as it readjusts the surly woman. The sting of the spanking, and the words that bring shame to her, affect her as well as the more hardened woman. Sweet, quiet wives do benefit from the strap on their bottoms, just realize it is needed less.
Are there any that don’t need discipline at all? Personally, I don’t think so. However, if you find she is submissive, respectful, and responsible, and that other methods of guiding her are a startling success, then feel free not to use corporal punishment. Not every marriage needs it. There’s no reason to invent excuses to spank when there are no serious infractions. Moreover, a woman who is meek and obedient toward her husband should know it will keep her out of trouble. The biggest bar to decide is her behavior, as well as the effectiveness of the discipline. If discipline is helping her, even if it’s rarely needed, then keep it around. If it’s useless, and you find better methods, you don’t need to practice it.
I’d say my philosophy is — no matter how good of a wife she is — you keep discipline on the table. She needs to know it is your decision whether to use it. She should understand that as her head you can spank her when needed. That leaves you with the easy option in the future if you find she needs her attitude corrected. You don’t need to introduce it in the middle of a marriage, previously undiscussed, to right a sinking ship. You’ve talked about it. She understands what will happen, and you can bring it in if you ever find the use.
So while I respect that some marriages don’t need spanking, I advise to keep it openly in marriage as an option. I would not be surprised to find there are a number of husbands who thought they’d never need to correct their wives, went years without doing it, but then discovered almost overnight it was urgently needed. That’s why you have that tool. That’s why she knows there is a heavy belt hanging in the closet. Women are not perfect. Gentle women rise up in rebellion. Christian women start following their own desires, instead of listening to their husbands. Spanking will help turn around a variety of these problems, sometimes very quickly.
Submissive women need guidance in being submissive. They need help in growing in their gentle attitude and showing reverence for their man. It’s not one-hundred percent internal. You can expect they will benefit from at least the occasional trip over your knee, to receive a firm lecture and a spanking. They need to be humbled, bared, cleansed of their wrong, and corrected. Then you will see them blossom and grow.
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