Kneeling is used in many marriages with discipline to communicate what is close to the core of marriage. It is often used in correction as well, and to sexually train a wife. While westerners balk at kneeling before an authority, often for cultural reasons, kneeling has been a form of reverence for thousands of years, and cross-culturally. It expresses honor towards an authority, among other things. The Bible, while forbidding worship of man, has many examples of kneeling before an authority, or simply to show honor, from start to finish. Some Christians erroneously believe kneeling is something one may only do before God, but this is not in Holy Scripture. Biblical figures, including patriarchs, knelt before a higher human authority, and Christians throughout the ages both in East and West knelt before their lords. It is natural then, that kneeling becomes an appropriate form of expression in marriage, or a useful position during discipline. Kneeling should not be overdone, but it should be a part of a traditional marriage.
In some cultures today, it is not uncommon for a wife to kneel before her husband, or kiss his feet, when greeting him or simply honoring him specially. It expresses that he is lord of the home, and also expresses her own deep awe, and desire to uplift him. There seems to be a natural instinct God has placed in us to lower ourselves before a mighty power, or at times even just in awe at a glorious sight. This instinct is well in harmony with the hierarchies that God has put in place, as each one of us finds he is under the authority of another, or moved by greater powers than he. Knights knelt before their lords, men knelt before kings. We are all to kneel before God. We want to communicate deep down our respect for that authority, and to show our submission. Kneeling accomplishes it, and often is satisfying — communicating something in our bodies much more strongly than with words, making that submission all the more true. For a wife to kneel before her husband is similar. She drops to her knees to say much more powerfully than her lips could that he is her king. She exists joyfully under his power. She places herself by her own will beneath him. You may think this has been cleansed from the western mind, but just start kneeling yourself, and you will find it has not been; it is still in our souls, and we feel right doing it.
In western homes this would seem odd, but the practice of discipline has certainly brought the practice of kneeling more commonly into western marriage life. Many spanking husbands I speak to use it in some form or another. One of the first things I did, and others do, when establishing discipline in the home, is to have my wife kneel in accepting her lecture. She will kneel before her husband, receive instruction, need to look up to me and verbally affirm her submission, all before I begin to chastise her. Afterward, she is usually kneeling as well, to express her better behavior in the future, now that I’ve lectured and spanked her. She will be kneeling for a formal verbal correction as well. That kneeling can help her receive a correction, in the sincere sense, because the position reminds her of her position, and her need to accept what I say. This is not a conversation between friends. It is direction by a superior. The physical act of kneeling is again more powerful than the mind. It will help her learn, when it is called for.
Similarly, husbands will use kneeling in training. A wife who is still learning submission, or experiencing problems with it, may be helped by training sessions. They help her get her attitude, words, habits all in line with submission. Some training may be brief, other training intensive, but kneeling is a practical tool therein. She may, as during punishment, kneel for instruction. She may kneel also on command, simply to learn to grow comfortable with it. Grow comfortable with the act, and grow comfortable with what the act teaches her, which is why it is so powerful. The act embodies the idea. Her man is above her. She is lower. It triggers her over and over, and aids her in internalizing it. It can even become a relief to the soul just to lower herself, and a joy to take that physical step down. She finds how natural and fulfilling it is to gaze at her man that way, and to feel his own gaze on her. Finally standing up can even be downer, when keeling is so satisfying.
Men and women both find kneeling is appropriate when a woman sexually satisfies her man. It is the easy as well as the appropriate position for a wife sexual service. True, husbands and wives discover plenty of other positions to do it from while frolicking in bed, but I believe kneeling should be common for the wife. Both the position and the sexual service act together to teach her to deeply serve, and to love it. She pleasures her man from this position, and later when she is on her knees during discipline, she will feel charged knowing this is also her position to serve him. As on other levels, sexual service and discipline act together in submission.
You’ll find that a woman who is committed to her submission will have no resistance to kneeling. My wife has never reacted with conflict or anxiety when I send her to her knees. She understands what it means, and she understands I have a right to command it. This ease at kneeling should be normal in marriages. It is mostly only pride that would inspire resistance to the act, the same pride that inspires rebellion elsewhere. Humility has no problem with it, since it is a humbling act. Pride has a big problem with it. But that is a part of why kneeling is useful in training, among other practices. It refutes pride, and retrains a rebellious woman to lower herself. Perhaps nearly as much as spanking does, it teaches who is in charge.
The use of kneeling for a wife in honoring her husband can still be overdone. As other elements of training, or secondary things we do in marriage marriage, it is not the end goal. It simply facilitates grander things. It is a tool to help. She can show respect, receive lessons, and serve him on her knees. It’s not for all the time. It’s not the only expression we use. It should simply be common enough to help teach her how to honor her husband, and to feed the marriage union, and strengthen headship and submission. Many submissive wives love to honor in this way.
Don’t get the idea, that because kneeing is uniquely useful for a woman to honor her husband, that there is no cause for a man ever to kneel. Kneeling communicates more than honor to an authority. It can show deep love or awe as well, which men naturally feel towards their wives, and may inspire kneeling. While it is most appropriate for a wife, there is nothing essentially wrong with a man kneeling, or choosing to pleasure his wife from this position. I don’t want to portray hard and fast rules here, but only point out what it conveys, and how it speaks to the soul. With man’s authority in marriage, it a beautiful way for a woman to show who is king.
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