Some people refer to marital discipline with the term — taken in hand — which is an expression I like, because it connotes the leadership as well as protection a wife has in being in her husband’s hands. That hand of protection, and correction, doesn’t always need to be hard though. While I believe that hard spanking is best, and is often deserved, I would be the first to say that some husbands make discipline work well by taking their wife lightly in hand. That means their discipline is far from the harsher kind of correction. Some of these husbands give nothing but hand spankings. Others use instruments, but keep it light.
Why can this work well with certain women, while others would find it hardly a correction at all? Why does it leave one woman in deep remorse for her actions, and another frustrated, wondering why her husband won’t spank thoroughly. A lot has to do with the sensitivity of the woman. That includes physical sensitivity, and emotional sensitivity. It can even include the sensitivity of her conscience towards the wrong she has done, women being sometimes very morally aware, and other times quite callous. A gentler wife, sensitive in a few of those ways, may find a mild spanking gets through to her on the same levels that a hard spanking gets through to other women. I believe those women are in the minority, but clearly there are some in spanking marriages.
A sensitive wife might find it is hard enough to bear the humbling of being told you’ve done wrong, and having to undress for a spanking. That by itself may make her very sorry and sincerely repentant for her wrong. She may also find herself hesitant to receive one, or the fear of a spanking quite real, even if it’s only the bare handed variety. She may be able to express her sorrow, and desire to be good over her husband’s knee to the tune of a spanking that is not especially burning in its heat. A simple repeated sting may be enough, along with the sense she’s in her man’s hands, and will be spanked until she’s contrite. She may bawl, and promise to be good without the wallop of a paddle, or the roasting of a strap.
That difference in how spankings are given in marriage is a part of the natural variety we find in marital discipline. The light spanker, and the hard-handed man may both find they reach the effect they want with their discipline. Each husband also needs to be aware of what reaches his wife uniquely, and what improves her behavior. He should know her sensitivities, and what she needs to respond well. A wife may need the powerful deterrent of a proper whipping that she’ll never forget. She may also respond fully to a lecture, cornertime, and a shorter, fatherly hand spanking. Find the method that reaches the goal with her attitude and her behavior, and moreover what seems a just punishment.
There may be women who wish that their husband was the light spanking man. That way they’d avoid a few hard ordeals with discipline. However, it’s also possible the same women would brush off that kind of spanking, realize they can get away with what they want, and face what seems like few consequences for their actions. They realize their man’s authority can be dismissed. It’s not such a big deal. Their behavior isn’t all that wrong. Then they continue the behavior their husband seeks to correct. There is a reason so many household use harder discipline, and it would be foolish to wish for the lighter kind there.
Just as a man needs to understand and tune his discipline to what works for his wife, a woman can communicate what is working for her as well. She may not ultimately be the one who decides, but she may tell him if she thinks she can learn her lesson with a simple hand spanking. She can also tell him if his spankings are too short or light to make her feel punished and cleansed. If they do not instill submission in her, and respect for her man.
I encourage men to give spankings which a hard enough to punish the wrong, hard enough to be a deterrent, and thorough enough to instill a deep sense of submission to him in his wife. I have found that usually means giving long and hard spankings. The same goals however can sometimes be reached with lighter spankings, like some husbands regularly give, alongside a lecture. Success comes differently in different marriages. It seems often that a light hand man, has a sensitive soft-skinned woman. He can bare her and spank her with less pain. They are a match made for each other.
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