Even a wife who knows that she will be spanked, and who firmly believes in spanking, will feel some hesitancy the first time she awaits going over her husband’s knee. That’s especially true if she was never spanked before, or perhaps if she was spanked as a child, it was so long ago she still feels mystery about what’s coming. She doesn’t know what the pain will be like, and she doesn’t know how she will handle it. She’s even afraid of being embarrassed by the tears she will shed and the shame. A wife’s first spanking will also usually leave the husband concerned about hurting her, and wondering if he needs to start light with her. He doesn’t want to leave her terrified. Many husbands recommend starting light her first time — such as with a hand spanking — although I will explain why I do not. I believe that’s unnecessary. A first spanking ought to accomplish what any other does, and should be as hard as it needs to be.
To make a spanking light out of fear, will leave a few problems. Firstly, it fails to instill the seriousness of the wrong, and let her know you are rightly offended by her behavior. It also doesn’t make spanking much of a deterrent, since she can easily handle it without dread. Nor does it leave her in a sense of full submission to you, which spankings ought to leave her feeling. It was only a step beyond play acting. A husband needs to make sure his wife learns from her discipline, so it should be firm — both as a punishment for bad behavior and to let her know you are in command of her. This is a first time and will set a pattern for others. It sets her direction on being disciplined and learning from it. That’s not to say a husband must go to the highest end possible if it’s her first time, but only that it should be a sound spanking, should bring her to tears, and make her wish she hadn’t stepped out of line. Make it a pattern to follow.
There are several “firsts” for your wife besides the pain of the first spanking. If you haven’t been firmly correcting her with words, it may be a first to be chastised verbally, and humbled in that way. That can be hard for a woman, especially if she’s new to learning submission. She may cry before her husband has begun. There is the first of being humbled by standing in the corner, or being made to kneel. That can be a true challenge to her ego. She may feel ashamed, or angry inside. Approaching the power of undressing for her husband, not for love, but to be examined and whipped, can make her feel far more vulnerable than nakedness does. She is turning herself over to her man in a new, and even deeper way. She is letting herself be possessed perhaps more than ever. It requires some courage, trust, and of course obedience to her husband in the face of any resistance she feels.
My wife’s first spanking, as I relate elsewhere, was very solid. I saw no reason to go light. She was nervous and quiet beforehand. She was in tears during my lecture, and in tears as I strapped her. It did not last as long as some that I would later give, but it was a hard and long enough to get my point across. I took off my thick, leather belt and I gave her the lesson I intended her to learn. I knew it would hurt. I give her more or less the same kind of training these days, even if some of the details have changed, and she now endures some longer ones. A spanking is something to avoid, and an ordeal to experience.
One thing I believe is important is that the man is calm, and in control. She should feel confidently led by you. Do a good job of explaining to her why she needs to be punished, and explain why her behavior was unacceptable. A man needs to show understanding of the situation and self-control. That’s true of any punishment, but it’s especially important when she’s new, and just learning to follow you. It also helps put her mind on what it should be — on her behavior and correction — and not on the coming pain she’ll feel on her backside. Your words help her learn to follow you easily. Give her simple and calm instructions. I wouldn’t get too detailed or complex with the lecturing the first time, but keep it to a few simple points for her improvement. Let her know in brief the wrong and the harm of her behavior.
A new wife, who naturally has fear of what’s coming, should make sure to focus herself on these things — she should remember that she’s going to be guided by her man now. She’s going to let him correct her. He will give. She will receive. She ought to be thinking about why she is there and what led to her going over his knee. Think about the behavior that led there, and not the pain. She can also consider and put into words what kind of woman she desires to be for him, and how she will follow him. Even thoughts like that can grate against what the flesh desires to do, and can grate against the ego, but they will help the wife learn from, and be nourished by her husband’s correction. She should prepare herself in her soul to be shaped by her man.
After being spanked for the first time, it will be harder to process all that’s happened. Being whipped is out of her experience. Your handling her after the spanking is very important. Giving her a good talk afterward, and making sure her mind is on what it needs to be, will help her process a totally new experience. Lead her at the end to a simple lesson she must learn, and a commitment for her future behavior. Make sure she affirms her submission to you. Give her time in your arms, and let her know everything is back to normal — she knows peace now and it is forgotten.
From start to finish, the things that make a first spanking are in essence the things that make any spanking. It is humbling. It hurts. It strips away all protection as she is kneeling and bare. You can also give a hard spanking the first time, but don’t go to the highest end of the heat. Keep your lecturing simple and focused, since she is not used to processing being lectured and spanked. If you think she needs any extra assurance, feel free to give it to her. It needs to meet the aims of any spanking — it punishes bad behavior, provides a warning into the future, and reestablishes her submission to you.
[This article was published a long time ago. However, I accidentally deleted it when I was copying links, and when I restored it, rather than returning to its place, it went to drafts, and from there I could only publish it anew. My latest article is The Crop, which is next in line.]
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