Does Spanking Empower a Wife?

Oh how are you empowered my darling, let me count the ways.

Nearly the buzzword of the century for feminism is the word empowerment. We have a whole culture that is unafraid to brag that they care to empower one of the sexes uniquely. Empowerment gets instilled into the mind of young women as what they should desire. Women ask themselves the question of whether a chosen way of life, relationship, or job empowers them. To not be empowered as a female is tantamount in this culture to being weak or a failure. Few people question this focus on power. The tidal pressure of culture demands it.

Strangely though, very few people stop to ask whether spanking empowers the woman. Does being under her husband’s authority and being disciplined empower her? For most who even glimpse the thought, the answer is in horror — no. It is the opposite of empowerment, and a great secular sin. One of the seven deadly sins of secularism — humbling a woman, telling her what to do, or striking her with force. The modern’s blood will boil at the thought of female en-spankment, and in their mind they will send you to hell, and almost start trusting in God just so that there will be a hell for you to go to. You’re evil. You don’t empower women. Yuck.

Occasionally, you will indeed hear feminists acknowledge that this kind of marriage DOES empower women, though its supporters are in a minority. They may admit this because the woman has chosen to enter the relationship herself. Because she’s found some reward in being spanked even though it is degrading in some minds. It’s up to her, and since she finds it fulfilling, it is indeed an empowering experience. It brings her where she wants to be. The pro-spanking feminist may not see the full purpose of it that I see, but she recognizes this is not abuse, but is rewarding to both parties. No one’s getting kidnapped off the street her. And as I’ve noted in several previous articles, many women I spanked before marriage were far from being meek Bible Christians. Rather they were independent, secular-minded women, with careers or career goals, who loved being spanked. It gave them the release they needed, and the guidance they desired. On top of it they found it sexy. They could without hesitation agree to most of modern feminist dogma, yet also see how “pro-woman” it was to be spanked.

To answer the question from my own worldview — does spanking empower a woman — the answer is the same as that of many great questions — Yes. and No.

Let me start with the No first. If by power we mean placing a person in a position of authority, or granting a person great authority, the answer is clearly no. A thousand times no. Rather, spanking humbles a woman who has stepped out from the authority and protection of her husband. He is the lord over her. She behaved badly. So she is reminded of her place under his power, and is instructed by the person who holds the power — her man. It takes away any thought of her holding power in a moment, and places her firmly as the one who is subordinate. Every bit of that “ow, ow, ow” moment says you don’t hold power. Even the embarrassing sight of her upturned bottom, and her very powerlessness receiving her husband’s strap again and again, reinforce she is not empowered. Rather, power is taken away from her, even more than usual for a subordinate, and she is lowered so as to teach her a lesson.

A few seconds viewing a marital spanking, and you don’t have any doubt who holds authority. The instructor is the man. She has to do what she’s told. The correction is given by the man. She must receive it. The instrument is held by the male authority. She must bear it, and she does so with tears. He is leading her. She is serving him. To witness such a sight would cause the modern to faint, just like the daintiest of ladies in antiquity. The spanked wife does not hold power but is held by the power of her husband.

Now let’s address the Yes answer as well. A woman is empowered by being spanked — and by being guided in general — by her husband because she’s being given the power to do her job. She’s being more greatly equipped to fulfill her role as a godly submissive wife, and a homemaker. The correction, however humbling, makes her do a better job at what she desires to do in the first place: be a gentle helper, honor her husband, have a peaceful marital union, get her work done, live a safe and healthy life, etc. The correction is for her betterment. In that sense, it empowers her. If she was faltering at being a wife or a godly woman before, she has greater strength and resources to succeed in the future. If she placed herself in danger by reckless actions, she has greater restraint and remembers to be safe next time. That correction helped rid her of bad habits, and of harmful prideful attitudes. In that sense, by lowering her briefly, as our Lord Jesus does in correcting us, it also lifts her up to be refined and successful in her role. The discipline is not to destroy her. It’s to help her achieve what she should desire to achieve. For lack of a better word — it empowers her to do her job.

Wife spanking is also empowering to women in that is helps her break free of other negative influences on her mind and soul. It can cleanse her first of guilt, which punishment always helps to do. As long as she receives it with a sincere heart, she knows the order has been set right, and she is no longer guilty before her man. She is spotless and clean. It can break down hardened attitudes she’s had, ones she wished she could get rid of, ones which make her cold towards her lord, but which she can’t seem to shake the ordinary way. Sometimes almost supernaturally a spanking over her husband’s knee warms a cold attitude, softens the wall built around the heart, squeezes her soul free of some of the bitterness or impurity which she knows is there. It does what no talk and no counselor can do, but in a matter of minutes. She’s going to get what she needs. The inner resistance is gone, and she is freer to love her man now, to respond to him, to obey him without hesitation and with joy of heart. Spanking also releases her from other bonds, including stress, which sometimes was the inner source of her bad behavior to begin with. A woman set free from those chains is receiving a good thing. She is, or for lack of a better word, empowered. It’s where she wants to be.

For some people this kind of answer is too confusing. What’s up and what’s down in a world like that? Is the answer yes or is it no? Well I think of what our Lord Jesus taught, that those who humble themselves will be exalted, and those who exalt themselves will be humbled. Sometimes to be lower, to be without pretense, to be without any fake importance, is to be as grand as you could possibly be. That is something that should be lived out by the Church in her meek obedience to Jesus the King ,and it is something repeated often in the life of the wife: humble repentance is met afterward with deep love and honor for her. Following his lead without complaint is met with reigning with him in his glorious kingdom. Our thought should never be for personal power — woman OR man — but in taking the simple and modest road, we are adorned with more beauty than the flowers of the field. The one who accepts correction will receive the rich treasures of it. The one who will have the greatest place in the kingdom . . . will be the lowliest.


17 responses to “Does Spanking Empower a Wife?”

  1. The bottom line is that it empowers us to be a good wife, to obey our husband. It empowers our homes by making them calm and welcoming places to be. It empowers society by bringing a new generation of families that will spread out to make more families through the generations.

    1. That’s a good and very succinct explanation of how it functions. Discipline can seem like such a small thing, but it has great effect on the world around us, starting with our home. It is power for the good.

    2. MeekMissy Avatar

      Exactly! I just read this and feel the same. My HOH’s kids are with us this weekend and after being paddled pretty hard yesterday I feel so confident that I won’t act up or misbehave in front of them, which means a lot to me and is hard for me to remember not to do sometimes. I won’t forget tonight/this weekend though I assure you! So I’m totally more empowered and confident because of the spanking.

      1. Thank you visiting my site, Meek Missy. Welcome. Sometimes a simple reminder is all it takes to help keep a lady from acting up. I’m sure you’ll do very well this weekend.

    3. I agree wholeheartedly if it’s done in love and trust by our Men in charge. I’m always eager to do as he says to keep the peace and because my relationship with Jesus is constantly moulding me as is my HoH literally sometimes and although shaping and pruning can be a lengthy painful process, which is explained in the bible, so is Childbirth but the result is the most beautiful fulfilling miracle a Married couple could dream of. The same goes with a CDD Marriage which honestly the closest thing to idyllic in this chaotic unstable world. The bible is not all rainbows and sunshine, that’s why Jesus cane down as a Man to suffer and die for all of us. I’ve learned so much from my HoH. He’s very smart and knowledgeable with biblical meanings and verses, he knows the world as he works for a University and despite lockdown had started doing online lectures. I look to him for teaching in intellectual areas for our girls with home schooling because he is a fantastic patient learned scholar. I’m proud of him. I kneel before him, bend over and push my bottom high for him. When he wants a sandwich, a drink in-between our intimate time he doesn’t need to ask, a hefty slap on my bottom will indicate that he requires my wifely services.

  2. johnsonjelena45 Avatar

    Anne, I love your comment but I am afraid in society, just the opposite is going to happen in most family.
    The wife will not be spanked, and the husband will not be the HEAD of the Household.
    How can we change this poor future?

    1. That’s a good question, and I think you’ll get a variety of answers. I believe you start with what is most basic, which is build families on the Word of God, with men leading their homes for life, and teaching virtue to their children. Fathers and pastors need to pass this down to each generation. You also support male leaders in business and society at large. That helps make sure men are doing their role, and have good opportunities to do it.

      Spanking could easily spread as it is now, through online networks and through family. Discipline and headship are inextricably connected. One will aid the other. How spanking would be normalized in popular culture is a question mark, but I’m sure there is a way. This society has normalized what is evil, and it is certainly possible to normalize what is good.

      That is a great concern to have. I’m glad you are thinking about it. Have a wonderful Christmas!

      1. Oh Aron, you’re doing so much to spread the benefits of a Christ-centered marriage, based on true male headship, as well as love. It’s truly inspiring to think of the changes in our society that are possible when Christian men stand up and take charge of their own homes. I hope we will, as you say, normalize the good.

        As a submissive wife, I have joyously surrendered whatever power I may have had to my husband. Though he has humbled me, I am made better for it. I am a cherished bride, more free, and more “self-actualized” under my husband’s oversight than I have ever been on my own. You summed it up so beautifully when you said, “The spanked wife does not hold power, but is held by the power of her husband.”

        1. Thank you Sophia. You surely can grow and experience freedom under your husband’s authority. We all serve something and someone, so no one is “free” completely in the abstract. If a wife weren’t serving her husband, you can be sure she’d be bowing down to other ideas and people as her lords. Just as if we were not serving Christ, we would be slaves to sin. So to serve the right thing is what true freedom is about.

          Bless you, and Merry Christmas.

  3. Aron,

    There is something I am struggling to understand about the dynamics of marital domestic discipline. Spanking does seem very empowering for a wife. It would mean a lot to me if my future husband cares about my personal growth enough to hold me accountable for my mistakes in this way. However, who would look out for him in the same way that he looks after me? As a husband, what serves similar purposes for you as spanking does in a woman’s life?

    1. Hello Emily, Thank you for visiting my discipline site and for your question. I’m glad you can see some of the value in marital spanking, and how it might help you in your future marriage. I hope you find a good man who will lead, and hold you accountable.

      As far as the husband’s accountability, that comes down to other authorities in his life. He will be led and corrected by God, of course, if he is living his faith. He also has earthly authorities that can teach and if necessary discipline him, including elders in the Church, employers at work, and the government. A man is answerable to all of those other men.

      Men may also have other men who are mentors, who while not being authorities who offer discipline, will still guide them well, and help let them know if they are doing wrong. Other godly men help a man in sustaining a righteous life, and in staying away from sin. That is often the best way for men to learn.

      A man who expects his wife to lower herself under his authority, should at the same time be lowering himself under the rightful authorities too. Most importantly, that of God, who will lead Him rightly, protect, and bless him.

      I hope that offer some insight in understanding how authority in marriage works.

  4. TxCogrl1983 Avatar

    I believe being spanked as a woman and wife empowers us in our relationships with our husbands. Not in the sense we talk about here, but in the sense we always know where we stand, we are forgiven and free of guilt and that awful tension couples suffer from. We are empowered because our husbands never feel as though they need to step back from us and withdrawal. Our marriages are so strong and we always have the power to know exactly what will or will not happen based on our own choices. Husbands who discipline tend to be pretty consistent in life. We are empowered by a very secure home life. I also feel they we are empowered because our husbands are more willing and feel “safer” to really listen to our point of view, or our ideas because we both know he can just say no and it’s over. In other marriages woman who are dominate often stopped being heard and listened to by their spouse because they have to protect themselves almost since they have no power. I’m not sure if this makes sense at all. We are for sure punished and held accountable, but our power is not taken from us.

  5. Is there a site where we can seek men of God who believe in CDD?

    1. Hello Amanda, Thank you for visiting my website. If you’re interested in meeting someone, you can leave your contacts on any page. I do have this article, Your Place for Singles, in which I invite readers to meet a husband or wife who believes in discipline. A number of people have already left their contacts there. You can find it here:

  6. I feel empowered and cleansed. Also so loved. My HoH empowers me because he loves me so much that he cares about everything going on in my life and our precious girls. He has a hefty responsibility at home making sure our needs are met and keeping his helper Moi, on the straight and narrow path. I thank him regularly and we have a wonderful relationship and intimacy if you know what I mean. No matter how tired or stressed he always spanks me if I need it and makes love to me when I’m craving his touch. He knows I’ll never deny him either. If I’m unable to have intercourse because of menstruation and he doesn’t believe women and men should during this time then I perform fallactio oral sex as much as he desires. We play spank alot too during these times as he’s aware of the pain and intensity of my time of the month because he knows my body. This is what I love about being completely submitted to him in body and soul. He knows my aches and pains and I know when he is stressed and angry and how to calm and soothe him like an attentive wife. He brings me flowers randomly just because and I massage him and pour him his favorite drink most nights. This is love.

  7. Deserving Avatar

    Merry Christmas Aron!

    I am absolutely empowered every day. Not in the way most in the secular world would think of empowerment though.

    I agree with Sophia in your perfectly stated words – “the spanked wife does not hold the power, but is held by the power of her husband”. This is what makes me feel most empowered. It is BECAUSE my husband spanks me that I have the strength I need to fulfill my duties as a wife and mother. When my husband takes the time for my correction as well as other discussions and prayer – I feel empowered to be better. His leadership and training have empowered me to know my place.

    I have always followed his lead, even when I felt alone or frustrated. Even when I was sore from being spanked. Even when I didn’t want to or didn’t think I agreed with him. It took many years but I found myself letting go little by little, and with each spanking, discussion, and service I grew to understand why I needed my husband. I am lead by him and held by his power. He knows the way and it is under his headship that I feel empowered.

    I hope that isn’t wrong or seen as unsubmissive.

    1. I think you have the right attitude. Those are definitely some of the effects you would want to see on both attitude and behavior. Being led by a husband is empowering to a wife.

      Merry Christmas.

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