A Young Wife Learns to Accept Discipline

[This is a guest article by our reader Sophia. She describes an early punishment in her marriage, which despite her interest in being disciplined, is very challenging to her. What stands out for me, and I think readers can gain from, is her humility, and deep appreciation of her husband. Even women who desire to be spanked can have an internal resistance, but it is humility and trust in their husbands that gets many of them through it. I hope you find it deeply rewarding.]

I have worked very hard to create an honest account of my experience of my husband’s correction of me and my sinful actions which made the spanking necessary. I send this with my husband’s blessing and full knowledge, so that you may better serve others who are coming into the light of God, discovering how discipline fosters peace and harmony between a man and his wife.

First, you need to know I would never directly defy Greg. I love him too much, and I respect his divine authority over me within our marriage. Pleasing him genuinely fills my heart, and I strive to make him happy each and every day. Even though I truly wanted discipline to be a part of our marriage, I never thought he would have a reason. In my ignorance, I thought I would only be spanked if he agreed to “maintenance” spankings, which I fairly begged him for. I saw it as a ritual that would reinforce our roles. He as the strong leader, me as his willing and enthusiastically submissive bride. In my fantasies, I never factored in feeling so humbled and raw as I did when he punished me. I didn’t think I would ever need to admit to my dear husband that I’d done anything wrong. I mean, I know I’m not perfect, but my heart is full of pure intentions. I’ve embraced my femininity so fully, longing and praying to be under the firm guidance of a strong man, fervently imagining the feel of his strap on my bared bottom, willing it to happen, sure that the stinging pain would help me connect with my best self, that it was a surprise to discover how overinflated my ego had become. Perhaps I had absorbed more of the modern feminist culture than I realized. I did, in fact, need to be taken down a peg or two, whether I wanted to be or not. And I was humbled. Greg saw to that. 

But when my beloved husband first announced his intention to spank me, I felt a flare of rebellion for the first time in our marriage. This wasn’t how I imagined it at all – I hadn’t done anything wrong! How dare he tell me I had? I just wanted to make myself pretty for him! Where was the crime in that? Where was my perfect, romantic moment where he confessed that he loved me more than he could bear, and would agree to spank me only because he was overcome with passion and my bottom was too luscious not to spank good and hard? As with lovemaking, he’d spank me because he just couldn’t help himself. He was overcome, taken in by my charms, and he would overpower me to claim me for himself and none other. I’d do well to let him have his way with me and hang on for the ride. I pictured myself thrilled afterward, if a little ragged and sore, loved hard by a strong, sweaty man. Really, I had given it too much thought. But of course, when the moment came, I wasn’t in charge. I wasn’t meant to be. That was the first prong of my lesson. Even though I badly wanted this, I wasn’t to be the one steering the ship. There would be turns I hadn’t anticipated and wouldn’t like. My husband was in charge, and I would be bent to his mighty will. In the end, despite my protests, this was in fact exactly what I had always wanted. I thank God Greg was man enough to give me the hard spanking I deserved.

The second prong of my lesson was of course the pain and humbling of the spanking itself. I was still mentally processing my busted fantasy and my utter lack of power in this new situation (my husband is far stronger than me, so there was no way I was getting out of whatever he thought I had coming). I was also feeling childishly wronged. It was so unfair to blame me for taking too long to get ready! I can’t help it that I’m a woman! He likes my long hair and lip gloss and pretty dresses! I dress up for him! Now he’s punishing me for this? I felt this overwhelming need to explain myself to him – if he would just listen, he would understand – but he wasn’t having any of it. I really didn’t like having the tables turned on me right before what was supposed to have been a beautiful expression of my love for him. I was supposed to be lovingly offering up my pain to him as a sacrifice for the good of our marriage, not being unfairly punished for something that wasn’t my fault. I felt rebellious and angry and hurt, and I let him know he was just plain wrong to do this. That’s when he grabbed me by the arm and marched me into his study. I was still trying to stop this, or at least slow down the process, arguing with him and trying to squirm out of his grasp so I could face him properly when he pushed me down hard over the top of his desk. He had my bottom bared in two seconds flat. The shock of him manhandling me like that and then being stripped half-naked so suddenly was enough to convince me to close my mouth. We were past the point where I could convince him otherwise, if there ever had been such a time. I felt vulnerable and suddenly very frightened. Bare skin can’t fight back. I knew my husband loved me, but this was new territory for us both and I had no idea what to expect. The only thing I knew with perfect clarity was that my man was in charge

I’ve imagined it so many times, that it’s hard to explain how profoundly terrified I was to hear him unbuckle his belt. I loved this man so much, and remembered how gorgeous he looked in his dress shirt and tie in church this morning, and now he was taking off his belt, not to make love to me, but to whip me with it. And there was nothing I could do about it. The spanking he gave me really was profoundly painful, even though I knew he wasn’t truly hurting me. Not being able to escape and feeling the unbearable stings rain down is very humbling. I was at his mercy. I began to cry almost immediately, and really couldn’t focus on what he was saying. He knew I wasn’t listening, so he eventually slowed down to lecture me or ask me questions between spanks. As I apologized, and called him sir, and begged for his forgiveness, I heard his voice soften a bit. He told me he loved me and that he knew I would learn to do better. He even rubbed my back a little bit at one point when I told him I couldn’t take it anymore. Of course, he went right back to it after allowing me that small break. He ended with a round of rapid fire spanks that I will not soon forget. When I knew it was over, I crumpled into a ball on the floor. With extreme tenderness, he carried me to our bed and held me while I cried. I was utterly flattened by the pain in my bottom, confused by the whole turn of events, embarrassed by my punishment, and exhausted by my tears. I didn’t get out of bed the rest of the day, and Greg allowed me that kindness. 

When he came home from work the following day, the third prong of my punishment came into play as my husband made me recount what I had done wrong and how I would improve. I suppose in the future, I’ll have to do that right after my spanking, but I was so overwhelmed at the time that I’m very grateful Greg gave me the time and space to compose myself so I could respond properly. I’m not sure that I would have been as open to admitting wrong without the powerfully humbling experience of being spanked hard by my man. Whipped, really. Being punished hard and knowing there’s nothing you can do to get out of it just puts you in a different state of mind spiritually. It was made painfully clear to me that I’m not in control. My husband is and always will be. I followed him into his study so we could have our serious talk, and I took it upon myself to kneel before him when he sat on the loveseat. I know he liked that, because he smiled and reached out to touch my cheek. As best I could, I explained what I had come to understand. Though it was not my intention to defy his word, that’s exactly what I did when I failed to be ready on time as he’d instructed me. Even after he had a serious talk with me, I failed to make any real changes in my routine or to begin getting ready any earlier. Even worse, I was demonstrating through my actions that my appearance was more important than worshiping God. This showed a shameful level of disrespect to my husband and to God, and as such, my punishment was richly deserved. I cried again as I thanked him for his patience and loving oversight of my soul. I promised to do better and make him proud.

I do feel purified, as you say. Cleansed and loved. The last thing in the world I want is to be spanked by my husband again. It was very, very hard to endure. But now that he’s done it once, I know he will again. I also know I’ll deserve it and be made better by his hand. I will pray for the strength when the time comes. 

To my dear husband, Greg, thank you for leading me with such amazing strength and love. I am so fortunate to be molded by your hands. Thank you for allowing me to process my feelings through the writing of this letter. It has helped me to see my sins and the light of your forgiveness even more clearly. Thank you for the patience you’ve shown me as I have wrestled with the contradictory feelings in my heart – genuine fear at the thought of another spanking, the uncomfortable knowledge that I sorely deserved this one, and overwhelming, passionate love for the man who spanked me so hard that I wept. I have felt raw and very humbled, but I never doubted that I was safe in your care. I continue to marvel at the mysteries God wove into marriage, and I thank Him for you every day.

With humility, Sophia


24 responses to “A Young Wife Learns to Accept Discipline”

  1. I am so grateful to have a husband who is strict and strict with my behavior.
    after receiving discipline I always feel cleaner.
    yet every time my husband announces a punishment I do everything to avoid it, even though I know it’s for my own good.
    but my husband always moves on

    1. I appreciate the grateful attitude you have, Ninna. I don’t think it’s ever easy to face a spanking. Even after years there are still challenges. Yet you show your submission through accepting it, and always make it your goal to do better next time for your man.

  2. This is lovely Sophia. You are so lucky with your marriage. I know what you mean about how you imagine the spanking will be romantic but is indeed painful.
    It takes time to know that it can be both painful and romantic.
    Your husband loves you so much he is prepared to spank you to make you a better wife.
    We as submissive wives have so much to be thankful for. We have been given proper husband who treat us right. It should keep us submissive, obedient and humble for our strong, brave husbands.

    1. Anne, thank you for your lovely words of encouragement! I appreciate hearing from other women who submit fully to their husbands, as I do. My husband and I have shared some very tender, romantic moments during the time in which I’m still a bit sore (both my bottom and my pride). There’s a beautiful gratitude that blossoms in my heart when I think of all he’s willing to do for me and our marriage. Through him, I am becoming a godly woman. Our men are indeed strong and brave. Blessings to you and yours!

  3. It’s true that a spanking in a dd relationship is different than a regular spanking for sex. My husband always spanked me in the form of sex games. For a year, she has been persuading him to dd and to be spanked as punishment. I am a person who needs punishments and setting boundaries. It’s hard for me without it. Husband agreed to dd but is not doing very well yet. He is unable to introduce the atmosphere and reprimand. We have the first 3 beats behind us as a punishment and I have a problem too. I have always wanted to dd and when we got there, there are obstacles on our way. I cannot accept the punishment and I run away. I am afraid and run away. I can’t be punished. I know my husband loves me and will not hurt me, but I am reluctant. Shame, fear and humiliation. We’ve been married for 11 years and I’m suddenly ashamed to stick my butt out? Something is blocking me mentally. Maybe it’s because I grew up in a country where there is equal rights and the beatings are bad?

    1. That adds some insight to the situation, Mala. That truly sounds like an obstacle to overcome on your own end. Much that you can do will help your husband to be a strong leader. That includes being soft, and following him. It lets him know he is the leader, and you are under his command. If you run away, it is open disrespect to his position, one that he is still learning to embrace and to walk in. Just be silent in your soul, and do as you are told.

      There is some fear related to being spanked, even if you’ve done it before. It could be facing the pain, or it could be having to give up your pride and autonomy to be punished physically. It is a blow to both pride and sense of independence. It can take time, but you should learn to really step down, and give yourself fully to your husband. He has his role to play, but you have yours, which is to show him you fully belong to him and are in his hands.

      You’ve got to step off of that platform where you think you are in control of things. You’re not in control. Let your husband be in control, and willingly give it up.

      I know you can overcome running away.

  4. Thank you for your answer. You’re right, it seems to me that I have control over my husband and home and that I am on a pedestal. It’s hard to accept that someone wants to punish an independent person like me. Unfortunately, my husband has been giving way to me in everything for many years. He was not taking our marriage in the right direction. He didn’t expect much of me. He had no requirements for me, and I am deviating from the rails. I know my behavior is wrong, but he doesn’t correct me. He cannot set a good example for me or demand. I have to demand from myself and run our family. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I no longer have the strength to be the head of the family and guide. I would like my husband to lead, set boundaries, set a good example, and hold me accountable for my actions that I cannot deal with on my own. Hope he learns to dominate and take family life into his own hands. I hope that I will be a good and obedient wife, even though there is a long way ahead of us. I’ve always dreamed of a dominant husband. I was obedient from the beginning of my marriage. But when I noticed that my husband didn’t expect too much of me, I went down the wrong track. I try to be a confident, saucy wife who does not respect her husband and rules the whole house. It’s gonna be hard for me to give up after all these years and get my ass spanked.

    1. Hello Mala, I hope your husband learns to take the lead as well. If he’d like to discuss leadership and discipline, he is always welcome to write me at my e-mail, or leave his contacts for other men in the comments section. You may get spanked sooner than you think.

      I’ve seen men and women change over in their attitudes and lifestyle, and I’m confident you both can do it. Be patient. Just make sure to do your own part, which is to be soft and reverent, rather than saucy. Go out of your way to honor him, and be silent an let him lead. It really does help trigger men to clearly see their own role.

      Surrender is glorious.

      Take care.

  5. Nice article. Thanks for sharing.
    I am also experiencing this type of very strict correction and it has helped me to be humble. My husband is only using the cane and it has been a good learning for me

    1. Thank you, Sylvi. Humility is one of the first things that discipline works on, and the same humility helps with learning lessons in the future. The cane is tough, but I’m glad it is doing you good.

  6. tryingtosubmittohim Avatar

    Thank you for this descriptive account, Sophia. It almost brought me to tears. You have a beautiful way with words and I appreciate hearing from the woman’s perspective.

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed it! I am so thankful to Aron for sharing this beautiful way of life with the world, and I am humbled to share my experience with the many women who look to him for guidance. I sincerely hope that if you are not already under the strict oversight of a loving husband, you will find your way there soon. Surely, you will be cherished in marriage for your gentle heart and honest desire to submit to your husband, however challenging that may be sometimes. As women, we are blessed that God provided discipline-based marriage as a safe haven for our delicate souls.

  7. Better Lady Avatar
    Better Lady

    I can attest that patience and truly being soft, submissive and obedient will help the man feel more confident in leading the home and the woman. Often, women roll the idea of discipline around for awhile, build it up in their mind and after much internal debate and research, will approach their husband which is what I did. Aronhusband counsels impatient women to be patient and truly focus on embracing their submission to their husband. I have followed that advice and in a short period of time, I have learned that I did need the spanking and leadership but also that spanking is just a tiny piece of such a larger picture. I needed strength, power and protection from my husband. I needed to embrace my submission by giving up false pride, autonomy and feminist ideas. When I did that, it was like I made room for so much more love to flow in and out. It was easy to obey my husband. In doing so, he easily was able to grow in his leadership role which just continues to push me to grow more submissive and he grows more in leadership. It is incredible. To all of the ladies, if you are at all like me, this was something you have been wrestling with for many months. Give your husbands time to digest the idea. Let them research. Show them you are serious by putting your effort into being soft, submissive, respectful and obedient. Show him your commitment and accept that he may need as much time or more than you to have the courage to begin DD or CDD. I asked for a spanking. The first one was hard but not enough to bring me to tears. As I deepened in my submission, he grew in leadership. Spankings are now very effective but he also is comfortable taking me sexually anytime he desires and I am open and eager to receive him. I no longer desire spankings but I do desire his guidance, his verbal directions and I am eager to please him in any way that I can. He is proud of me and I walk alongside him as a better wife. Patience and submission really do work. I will continue to accept the spankings that I earn but I have such a strong desire to obey and lift my husband up that they may be few and far between (hopefully).

    1. This is very good advice for wives, Better Lady. Thank you. You are setting a good example.

    2. Better Lady, your reply is such a beautiful testament to the vision God has for men and women in marriage. The more we look to our men for protection and guidance, the better there are able to fully embrace their roles as our leaders. Eventually, good men come to realize that headship must be backed by discipline. Asking our men to spank us just opens their minds to the possibility earlier, but I think it’s also a beautiful expression of love to offer ourselves to our husbands fully, body and soul, for him to mold as he alone sees fit.

      I also had some lingering feminist ideas that I hadn’t even realized I’d absorbed, as well as false pride that wasn’t compatible with my role as a truly submissive bride. I have accepted spankings for these and other transgressions, and I am thankful to be with a man strong enough to give me the discipline I crave.

      Blessings to you and your husband!

  8. I’m really curious about my husband spanking me for discipline? What kinds of reasons should he discipline me for? I’m very independent and opinionated.

    1. Hello Ali, Thank you very much for writing. Can I ask what makes you interested in discipline? Spanking can be useful for a wife in improving her attitude and behavior, and helpful for a marriage in general.

      The man is naturally the head of the home, and a wife needs to learn to show submission to him, and respect him. It can certainly help you with the traits that you mention, being independent and opinionated. A wife should be under her husband’s authority, and in doing so learns to be gentle, keep quiet, and let him lead. It really brings peace, and a sense of protection for the wife when her man is clearly in charge.

      Most husbands give spankings for common reasons, although your husband may find that you have a unique need which spanking helps with. Spankings are given for disobedience, disrespect, dishonesty, or any other serious wrong. I find many wives need to be spanked for being irresponsible, or procrastinating, and it can bring very quick results. It’s up to your husband to set the rules, and to decide what to discipline you for, and then to be consistent with it.

      Most importantly is learning a soft attitude. You need to take a step down to place yourself under your husband, and then orient what you say and do around being his helper. You are the to help your husband, and once a woman’s heart embraces that, the rest of learning becomes easier for her. Embrace serving him.

      If you tend to be opinionated, then learning to let your husband speak, ask his decision, and keep quiet are all important lessons for you. Definitely take the time to speak with him about how discipline might help you. You are both welcome to connect with me as well at my e-mail.

      If you haven’t read them already, here is one article on reasons for punishment: https://spankingyourwife.wordpress.com/2020/04/08/crime-punishment-what-to-spank-for/

      As well as one about how to step into submission: https://spankingyourwife.wordpress.com/2020/11/07/practical-submission/

      I hope that offers you some help. May your marriage abound in peace and joy.

  9. Thank you for sharing your experience, thoughts and feelings.
    I have to admit that my personal imagination of DD was way more romantic than it is in a real life. Those two worlds met when we finally started DD. I was difficult experience for me, and took a time to accept the fact, that punishment spanking, for me, isn’t sexually exciting but painful and humiliating. I really wanted quit because of it, but my husband helped me a lot to accept how DD really looks like. When I doubted, he was unbending as a HoH, guided me 24/7. If I was rebellious, he spanked me until I wasn’t and later talked with me until I understood that he did it for mine own good. I wasn’t easy time for us but absolutely worth it. I know that he spanks me because he cares about me, our marriage and family.

    1. That’s great. Your experience will be valuable to others too. It’s not uncommon that even women who desire spanking have a difficult hump to get over early on. There is much to be said for simple perseverance, as well as a husband’s guidance and firmness.

    2. Julita, how wonderful that your husband persisted! I agree with Aron that the beginning stages can be difficult for any woman. I’ve certainly experienced that myself. But it is such a wonderfully freeing experience to feel the rebellion or anger or childish agitation drain from your body during a really hard spanking, leaving you in the arms of this man who loves you so much. I can’t always express my gratitude in words right away. It takes me some time, but I always, always cling to my husband afterwards and ask for his forgiveness. Being held and reassured by him, my body utterly spent, my resistance gone, is such a beautiful blessing. Another man may have just yelled at me or let me walk out the door. This man set me straight and put our lives back in order. Thank God!

  10. Nadie sabe que mí marido me azota. Solo sus padres porque durante una visita a la casa de mis suegros me llevo a la habitación y me castigo por fumar. El me dice que como no me pegaron de niña le toca corregirme por malcriada.Hace menos de un año que estamos casados y los castigos son a diario. Acepto sus nalgadas porque lo amo pero son muy duras. El me azota hasta que mí piel arde aunque yo le ruego que pare! En promedio son 30 a 50 azotes con el cinturón o fusta.

    Aron’s note — This is a translation from Online: “No one knows that my husband whips me. Only his parents because during a visit to my in-laws’ house he took me to the room and punished me for smoking. He tells me that since they didn’t hit me as a child, it’s his turn to correct me as spoiled. We have been married for less than a year and the punishments are daily. I accept his spanking because I love him but they are very hard. He whips me until my skin burns although I beg him to stop! On average there are 30 to 50 lashes with the belt or whip.”

    1. Hello Lola, Most couples spank privately, but it’s not uncommon for someone to find out. Spankings aren’t so easy to hide, and they are hard to keep quiet. A woman who was spoiled as a child, may indeed find she needs spanking to correct some bad habits once she is married. So many parents refuse to discipline their daughters, that they end up with an inflated sense of self, and are rebellious to their husbands. Spanking can definitely put that problem in the past. It helps a woman learn she is under her husband, and that she needs to be soft to him.

      I do not believe in spanking a wife every day, as this is excessive. Spanking should be to punish a wrong. If a wife has continued problems with being submissive, it can be helpful to give regular spankings to train her, but outside of this, I don’t have use for constant spankings. I hope that this is something that will slow down with time, as you learn to be more obedient to him. You should be working on that, and set your mind to pleasing him.

      Feel free to write me at my e-mail on the contact page or below if you would like to discuss how you can grow as a submissive wife.

      Take care.

  11. This morning I made a sign to hang around the house to remind me of my new way of life. It read:

    but instead, obedience, agreeableness, acceptance, humility, peacefulness

    no pressure or usurpation, but instead, humility, meekness, quietness, deference, honor, reverence

    I printed that out to put up on the wall because honestly none of these things are normal for me and none of them come natural. The more reminders the better. In the past such things would have been disgusting to me, I don’t know how God changed my heart but I’m just amazed because I barely recognize myself in my desire and willingness to embody these things. But that doesn’t mean they are yet part of me at least not in any measurable way.

    I’ve been talking about all these things with my husband regularly and, today I mentioned to him, “please don’t be deceived by my acquiescence to these ideals. Just because I can now agree that they are right and good and that I want them in my life towards you, doesn’t mean that they are really part of me in my daily way of life.”

    He said, “so you’re telling me that I need to keep a watch on you.”

    I replied, “yes. a watch, and your rod.”

    I also have a romantic view towards being spanked. That scares me, so I asked him over and over to please make me regret that I ever wanted this. Please push back my romantic desire of discipline and replace it with the discipline that I do not want.

    I love him for his answers… For when I say things to him like this, he says to me things like, “you shall have it.”

    Occasionally I will read blogs where people will off-handedly say that some people are cut out to be submissive women, and other women do not have submissive personalities and could never force themselves into such a mold and should not be in a submissive role. To say such a thing leaves a strong leading type woman with no hope. Having discovered this place of adornment and spirit, I fear that anyone would try to take it from me by insisting that I don’t have the right personality for it. I most certainly do not have the right personality for it… Nobody in all the world would peg me as the submissive type or the one who could come under anyone’s authority or order. And yet here we are, I am so glad that this is not anything based on my personality whatsoever. God requires it of me, and my husband requires it of me, and in that I am safe, regardless of my natural personality; I can offer my submission and know that no one can take this beautiful imperative away from me.

    1. Thank you for your comment. Yes, women with assertive personalities do learn to submit, and to be fulfilled in it. However, realize that much of what the world calls “strong” in a woman is actually just a veiled word for angry and prideful. While a woman with natural leadership abilities really can learn to submit fairly quickly, a woman with out-of-control anger or pride takes much longer, even if she wants to. This world is confused about what real strength is. A strong person definitely can submit.

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