As many couples are beginning their journey into marital discipline, they experience with some excitement, as well as trepidation, that early period of learning. For a wife that frequently means more spankings than usual, as she gets used to her husband’s rules and expectations. For a husband, it means some amount of experimentation, of deciding on what kind of a system to use, and eventually of making adjustments. He may even be new to leadership entirely. It is safe to expect that there will be a few humps to get over, especially during that first year or so of learning. A wife’s behind is frequently sore in the early period of discipline. Sometimes she wonders when it will get better.
There is a lot of learning that takes place during these opening months, and several years. While there may be some wives who are fully prepared to submit deeply and to meet their man’s needs, I find that most women do some stumbling early on. It’s not wrong to expect frequent spankings. The bristling some women have towards submitting needs to fade away. Some amount of irresponsibility and childish bad habits also get left in the past, often while over a husband’s knee. She learns during this early period to control her mouth much more. To speak softly. A woman who’d previously learned to boss men around finds out this is now impossible, and she learns how to be sorry for it, and to speak with respect instead. It is a tender early period because both are young and fresh to discipline. It is tender because her behind is tender, as she steps into her new role.
I have spoken to husbands who spanked multiple times in one week early in their marriages. Their wife misstepped time and time again, and spent much of the week sore. Others spank less often due to fewer needs. When I was newly married, I spanked my wife every several weeks. When needed, I kept her on weekly maintenance for a few months, to get her accustomed to stripping, to showing respect, and to accepting correction. Later, after a few years, I spanked every several months, with exceptions of course. I think it’s important for the new wife, and frequently spanked woman, to know it does get better with time. If she puts her heart into it and some work, she’ll avoid getting in trouble the large majority of the time. She should know to trust herself to improve, and to trust her man’s leadership and judgment in correcting her. She’s in his hands, and is going through a period of training, which will help her in the long run.
There are plenty of husbands who believe in starting spanking light. This is because they don’t wish to scare their wives, and they hope they can ease her into receiving harder spankings with time. I am cautious of this approach. If anything, I believe it is important to be firm early on. This is a period of laying down the basic rules, and helping her establish the right attitude to have. It is important that she learn clearly where the lines are drawn, as well as to learn how serious any bad behavior is. A good hard spanking will do this, even if it is her first. It should be a difficult experience that she wants to avoid in the future. In general, I find it good to lean towards a strict interpretation of the rules in the early period. That clarity, and regularity of discipline gets her into the needed habits that will help her later on. She learns respect, obedience, responsibility, and that she will not get away with dismissing your words at all. Give her encouragement and let her know you trust in her to be a good wife, but be strict and consistent so she learns the ropes.
A new wife is also getting accustomed to being in your hands. She is getting accustomed to the discipline rituals and routines (although some will change). It is the best time to learn. She’s getting used to swallowing her pride and accepting correction. She’s learning your usual requirements too — how you expect her to undress, her positions for being spanked, whether she must bring you the instrument, how to address you and respond during her discipline session. She will internalize much of this, and it will help her flow with a correction later. A spanking is typically something to be feared, but she can still develop both a knowledge and a comfort zone with being in your hands. She will learn rightly that a spanking hurts and is to be avoided. She’ll also learn things are better afterward, you still love her, the world did not end. She may come to enjoy the bonding period after, even if the news of a spanking makes her nervous. It helps you set your routines, and it helps her move with them.
Training her sexually is also important early on. Frequency will vary from man to man. Young men desire sex much more strongly, but older men do not neglect it. A wife with a younger husband may serve him sexually every day. One with an older husband every week. Sex doesn’t just complement your discipline of her, but deepens it, and often reaches her in a way nothing else can. Sex can often get past her obstacles and stubbornness much better than a spanking. It can be successful in grinding down her claims of autonomy and her desire for conflict. It puts her immediately, and physically in her place of softness, of openness, and of service to her man. Use it to your advantage. In learning to love to give her body, she learns to love to submit. Nothing could be more important to learn early on in marriage.
Finally, the early period does not merely lay down the rules, or give her a formula to follow. It is a prime chance for her to be helpless over your knee, to be bare to you, in tears calling out — “I’m yours, I’m yours, I promise I’ll be good.” She cries out “I’m sorry sir” and means it. She bares her soul to you. It’s a prime chance to rid her of false pride and to teach her belonging to you. Naturally, that sense still has to grow and deepen. But she must learn it early, and know what it feels like. You remove her resistance with regular spankings. You humble her in a way that will help her deeply. She gets used to following you — your words and your steps. Greater joy and peace will follow as you move from being a young couple, to a more mature and experienced husband and wife.
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