A Response to MGTOW Fears

The phrase MGTOW (men going their own way) is quite the buzz word these days. Like a lot of buzzwords, it describes a real phenomenon, and then subsequently forms a real phenomenon, encouraging people by its simplicity and clear identity to define themselves this way, even if their beliefs, thoughts, and causes are a bit different. MGTOW has defined the present urge by men to stay away from women, at least as far as marriage is concerned, because there are so many rotten women. Many women aren’t fit for marriage. Many aren’t fit for what this society defines as dating. Women are being trained not to be feminine. They are taught not to respect men. They are taught to be proud and to be concerned with their own power. If there is a divorce women will end up with a man’s money and his children the large majority of the time. Who would want to to get married to that mess? Use them for sex only, or stay away from them entirely. Women have been ruined in this present age.

I both sympathize and empathize with men who feel that way. I know the damage that feminism as an ideology has done, taking previously feminine women, who were raised the right way, and turning them into ideologues, who refuse to submit to their husband, and go out of their way to usurp a man’s authority. I also know the great number of women who have been led into impurity, and think little of sleeping with any man, or cheating on their spouse. If these reasons alone weren’t enough to make marriage look like Russian roulette, the legal system discriminates against men, and gives women the advantage. That is an injustice and won’t change anytime soon Likely, if I had never become a Christian, while I may not have shared the same negative view that discouraged souls in the MGTOW movement have, I would not have gotten married. Regardless of the disadvantages the movement sees in marriage, I never found the idea of lifelong monogamy attractive anyway, and raising children didn’t sound attractive to me either. Too much work, and I never really got along with children. Without my faith, I would simply have continued using women like the tools they permitted themselves to be, and would have been content with that. I did adore women more than what I hear from the MGTOW people, but I would have seen little need to marry one.

While it’s easy to see where an aversion to women is coming from, and truly an aversion to marriage, you also have to see the fault, as well as the vain hypocrisy in this movement. Number one, it comes across as giving up without a fight, and simply accepting matters as they currently stand. That’s not very manly, guys. It comes across as mere surrender, with a facade of victory, like — now we won because we won’t play with you any more. But that’s hardly a meaningful battle to win. By rejecting marriage, it throws off the responsibility to lead, and to change society. It’s childish. It plays — I am a rock, I am an island — a thousand times over on vinyl in the man cave, and brags about its war wounds, while refusing to go to war. Men ought to know what is good, and what is important, and strive for those things.

The movement is furthermore hypocritical. That’s because the degraded state of women could not have gotten where it is without men, who are our leaders, permitting it to get that way. It is a result of fathers who did not raise up their children correctly. Husbands who did not lead and correct their wives. Brothers that did not protect their sisters’ dignity. Teachers who collaborated with evil and taught feminist ideologies even though they knew better. Pastors who were content to go with the flow of the times, rather than teach what is true yet unpopular about gender. Gullible politicians and voters who bought into a hammered flat equality, and brushed off the idea that law could never limit what one sex can do. That would just be evil, right guys? Men brought this upon themselves, and continue to do so. Every time I see a daughter encouraged to go into the military, permitted to practice immorality, or dress like she does, or to hang out in worldly places that will damage her purity, I just wonder to myself, and sincerely grieve, because men continue to permit this. They do it with each coming generation. For those things to happen, the father had to let it happen.

Not only that, but for every tattooed single mother out there, used a thousand times over, it typically took multiple men to get her that way. It took men to act like whore mongers and leading women into whoredome. I grew up in a fairly liberal time and place, but I knew women growing up who tried to do the right thing, and who were taught to do the right thing by their parents. Those women learned very quickly no man would want them unless they dressed or acted like a hoe. So they lowered their dignity. Forgot what they’d been taught. Did shameful things, and over time learned to deaden the sting of shame, so that it became normal, and they couldn’t feel it anymore. It was not a feminist professor who turned them into filthy hoes, it was men who did that, over and over in the first place, and in a very dedicated fashion. Women are to be pure. Men should respect that. Men should protect them and protect their dignity. But many of the men complaining about women being unfit for marriage were whore mongers themselves. So you turn her into a hoe and then tell her you’d rather be alone. What kind of logic is that?

What MGTOW needs to know are these few things: Women are not set in stone. Much less so than men. You can help shape her and create her through your love and leading. Your words and your power help make her what she’ll be. Do not assume that nearly any woman you meet will be a poor choice for marriage. There are very good choices out there, especially if you are doing the right things already, and take the lead from before you are married. There are women who will follow that lead, and become more of what you are looking for and need. Let women know from the start you are a traditional man. You will protect her and provide for her (no that’s not using you for money, that’s her right as your wife to be cared for), you will be united for life no matter what, and you expect her to submit to you. You’re the boss. Plus don’t forget — you adore her. Start with that, and then work with the lovely ladies who respond. I can promise that in many areas in my country there are still women who desire a traditional man, and are willing to be a traditional wife. If you are in a city that is ultra-liberal, it may get harder to find, but fret not. Trust God has a spouse for you. If you see no possibilities over time, realize many prospective wives from overseas have much better values and attitude than the cosmopolitan American female. Women from Asia, Latin America, the Philippines, are much better odds. If you go that route, be prepared to spend time getting to know someone, as you can get scammed if you do not. I know multiple people who have married women from overseas and are perfectly happy with the results. I hear no complaining out of them.

Do not assume that a woman who has a few of the feminist traits and uses some of the lingo of the independent woman is truly that way in her heart. There are many women who feel they need to talk that way because they’re out there in the world and that’s what’s expected. They’re living the way they feel is expected. It’s not a religion for them. There are women with high salary jobs who have been longing for a strong man for many years, and longing to be submissive for years, but a man never came along. They walk and talk as they have to, but in their hearts they want to be feminine. They want a strong man who both loves and leads them, and can ravish them when he desires. The imprint that falsehood has on the brain is weaker than truth. It doesn’t always seem that way, especially in cases of conflict, or when there is demonic influence. But a woman is a woman in her soul, and in her body, and she knows it. Start putting yourself out there as a traditional and strong man, a man who will both head the home and lovingly adore her, and believe me some of those women whom you think are too independent for a man will become gentle and submissive, look at you longingly, and cling to your arm. They are women.

Not every woman that has filth in her past is unfit for marriage. There are women who have committed terrible sins, and may still be living out the consequences, who have left that behind and are completely free of it. There are tattooed single mothers who now live life on the straight and narrow. I’ve met them. They are clean, responsible, and hard working. Do not judge them only by the results of their past sin. You would not wish to be judged that way either. Just make sure that if there is immorality, drugs, or criminality in her past, it should be gone by multiple years. Know her, her family, her friends, and confirm that she is no longer the same person. Many of those women need and deserve your love and protection. A man should take care of a woman, not the government. A woman needs a man’s strength and affection. Not the government’s. Do not write off women as filthy, despite all the many who are. And do not judge by mere appearances. She is still marriage material, even with children, unless she has been married before.

In its zeal to avoid woman problems, MGTOW even gets single-hood wrong. Singleness is not a bad thing. However, the norm for society, and for nearly all of us is coupling in marriage with children. Being single can play a good role, but its role is not to avoid the problems associated with modern western females, or to get back at them for being so lousy. Single-hood can be a unique calling for the purpose of serving God. The single man has a great deal of time and attention to devote to God, and to his work. That focus and energy can be incredibly productive. Single-hood is also necessary if one is separated or divorced by one’s spouse. Jesus even recommends being single for those who are unable to marry for life. As one passes up the wrong women, to find the right one, it is normal to be single for a temporary period of time. So use that solitary state for good purposes. However, to make it a long-term goal, or a life goal is nonsensical. Men and women are built for each other. We are compatible not only in our biology, but also psychologically, and spiritually. Most men who try to be single find they fall into fornication, and do not even have the necessary self control. Marriage provides the only good outlet for sexual desires, and that outlet keeps society safe from the destruction of immorality. It brings forth the miracle of new life. The goal for nearly all of us should be marriage, and the single celibate life be recognized as an exception by calling or necessity.

The future is in your hands, men. You are the leaders. You both helped create the current situation by your failures and sins, and will change it by your success and virtue. Be men. Know that there is more than meets the eye in the women you meet, and that your mind and power can help shape that woman. You also set the standards for marriage. Do not lower your standards or enter any kind of egalitarian marriage. If that’s what a woman wants, let her know you cannot marry her. Forget it. But do not forget marriage. When you set that standards, and show by your life that you are the kind of man who will love and lead his wife, I believe in the large majority of cases you will find a woman who is fit to be your wife. Marriage is too important to the world to write off. It’s not just for your fulfillment, it’s for all of us. Marriage provides stability. It brings us a future through the blessing of children. It raises up virtuous men for the next generation. It protects men, women, and children from harm. It provides a small-scale church that worships God and transmits the faith to new believers. It is an example of Christ’s love and deliverance. You are tasked with a very important job, and it is selfish and cowardly to simply walk away. Only walk away from unworthy women. Do not walk away from marriage. You can provide this world with something incredibly valuable, and be the hero for the next generation. Or you can hang out with your friends complaining and whining. Like. A bunch. Of girls.

You can check out all of my articles on marital discipline, organized by category, at my About Page.

NEWS: I was happy to see a few new countries high on our list of viewers, including Singapore and Malta, which are quite small nations comparatively, as well as Israel and Nigeria. Thank you for joining us here!