I’ve written several times specifically on the need for a husband to lecture his wife, and the importance of her hearing his words of guidance and correction. The importance of verbal communication cannot be overstated. It should be clear and firm, and touch on the main points she needs to learn. On her part, while much of her session is spent listening, and enduring the sting of the strap, it should also be spent in responding verbally in the right way to her man. The lessons a man goes over with her are the ones she needs to affirm, along with her own personal regret.
Regardless of the specific cause of punishment, a punishment spanking ought to inspire verbal affirmations from a wife in these areas. She needs to express that she knows what she did wrong and why she is being punished. She accepts responsibility. She should communicate her own sorrow for her wrong, and her knowledge that it is wrong. Some women find they are sorrowful the moment they are confronted with their wrong. Others can’t muster up so much sorrow on a word, but after finding themselves lectured and whipped, they are very sorry they chose the course of action they did. A wife should communicate what her attitude and behavior should be daily. In any punishment regardless the cause, she should express her state of submission to her husband. This includes that she belongs to him, she serves him, and she obeys him. She needs to communicate, with specific language, how she will behave in the future, and let her husband know she will work hard and do her best to make sure this happens.
Some husbands will likely expand to a few other points. It is also natural to add the details and specifics to them that relate to her offense, or that relate to how things work in your home. I frequently ask my wife as I lecture her — what is your position before your man? She answers — on my knees, sir. Others will expect her to show her gratitude and thanks for being corrected, with a good — thank you for taking the time to correct me, sir. A diligent husband will also naturally know his wife well, and be able to give her helpful ways to stay out of trouble in the future, or to see where and how she went wrong. He can show her the moment she started showing attitude, that led to her getting out of hand. He can point out she made the choice to step over clear warnings, and previous instructions. The misdeed was not mysterious, but can be understood and avoided.
The spanking itself can be an aid, or even at times an obstacle to her verbal expression of submission. It may act as an aid in that the spanking helps her get her feelings out, whereas before she was colder and more detached. It spurs her on to proclaim how she will serve you, and can also entice her to do so, since she knows that without her words, the spanking will just continue. Her words help it to pass in time. They’re a necessary part of the process. If my wife doesn’t answer my questions as I strap her, she knows the stripes will come down several more times until she does. But a spanking can also make it difficult for some woman to speak. At times the overwhelming nature of being spanked and humbled make it harder to speak, and feelings can be so abundant they don’t come easily with words. That’s one reason a man needs to guide her during the spanking, be calm with her, and be very clear. He can also give her chances to speak more easily, by spanking for a time, and then stopping briefly to lecture and make sure she answers his questions. As he finishes each main point with her, he continues her spanking until the next time, or until he is done.
Most importantly, and my main point here, is that she should be verbally engaged during at least part of the discipline. At other times you will be doing the talking and she will only listen. Usually in my house corner time involves no talking, or little of it. It is only for her to reflect and calm down. However, her own engagement helps her keep focused on her correction, and the reason she is undergoing the strap repeatedly. She is not just there to bear pain. It needs to touch her inside, and she needs to be working on the lesson. Those verbal affirmations help a woman learn, especially in the long term. Having her repeat them is not a bad idea either, as often repetition helps us to learn a lesson. Your words to your wife lead her and correct her. Her words to you show honor and express her submission.
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