A Wife and the New World of Spanking

This is a personal testimony from one of our readers about getting her first spanking from her husband. I believe it provides a useful picture of how spanking can begin in marriage.

I took the kids where they were going, and got a text from my husband that he was already home. I called and told him I was on the way. Well when I got there, he was just sitting in the living room waiting for me. We talked for a little bit, and everything was good. Then I told him about the credit card. He said, “Come here.” We went into the kitchen, and he got his briefcase out. Which is actually odd that he has one because he works construction, and you wouldn’t think he needs that. Haha. Aaaanyway… he opened up his briefcase and right on top, was the Capital One bill. Opened.

My bill. 😳😳😳 He had already seen it. I thought that I had intercepted any and all of those statements. But, nooope. He just said, “I don’t even know what you did.” And he looked sad. That made me feel horrible! I started retelling him how it happened… He called the credit card company and I had to authorize for him to speak to them for me. I was thankful he was handling it because I don’t like to talk to people. The limit was set at $500, but because I had ignored it for so long, it had gone to $746. 😩 He talked to them though and agreed to settle on the card at $400. He paid it and the card was officially canceled. After he got off the phone, he just kind of looked at me.

I said, “It’s good you got it down though? Right?” He wasn’t too impressed. I just looked at him for a few seconds because I was contemplating whether I should bring it up, but I finally said, . . . “some husbands spank their wives for things like this.” He didn’t say anything. I said, “Do you think I deserve a spanking?” He still didn’t even look up, but paused a few seconds and said, “Do YOU?” He was waiting for me to answer, and I froze. Did I? Did I think I deserved a spanking? What if I said no? That would be a lie. What if I said yes? Would he spank me right then? No. I went with what I thought the safest answer would be. “Probably.” I said as he looked up at me. He halfway nodded and shut his briefcase. I said, “I know other women would get one. So I probably do deserve it. I feel really, really bad about going behind your back and for so long.“ Neither of us said anything for a while. Then he just got up and said, “Do you want to go get something to eat?” So we did.

       At the restaurant, things were fine. We talked about stuff, he sat right next to me even though we had a booth. We talked and laughed and I did feel better that at least I was finally honest with him. 

     When we got home, he asked what I wanted to do. I said I wasn’t sure. He asked if we wanted to watch a movie in our bedroom. That sounded fine to me, so that’s what we did. He got the TV set up and I got ready for bed. We watched about 5 minutes of the movie and then he left the room for a minute. When he came back, he had my thick wooden “gravy spoon” I make gravy with. It is made of really thick wood, and is flat on the end and has slats in it. I knew we weren’t cooking in the bedroom, so I knew why he had it. 😳

      All he did was sit on the bed and ask me, “Are you ready?” My heart sank. I couldn’t really believe what was happening. It was like it was happening, but I was watching it as someone else or something. My mouth suddenly got dry, and I said, “Yeah.” He said, “Okay, come here.” I laid across his lap and I felt him ugh… this is embarrassing writing it. Just know he made sure there was nothing between me and the spoon. And yes, it was very humbling and embarrassing for me. I have NEVER been spanked like that. And really, I don’t know how he thought to spank like that. Because he didn’t read anything online about it. It was just like he knew. Weird. Anyways, I laid there for a minute and he started asking me if I knew why I was there. And telling me he didn’t want to hurt me. He wanted to help me not feel guilty, and understand I shouldn’t hide things like that from him. And that I shouldn’t go behind his back.

Then suddenly he brought down the spoon. It hurt worse than I can describe. He continued to spank a few more times until my gravy spoon broke! I couldn’t believe it. It was THICK. And it was broken on me… because I was getting a spanking with it. I just couldn’t grasp it all then. I tried to focus on why I was there and what was happening. My husband spanked me several more times with the broken spoon, which hurt more than when it wasn’t broken.  At one point I kind of rolled off his lap a little and looked back and said, “It hurts!” For whatever reason, I thought he would stop. He didn’t. He grabbed my arm with his hand and pinned it closer to me and pulled me tighter into him and spanked harder and faster than he had. I don’t know how many times he did it, but he finally stopped long enough to look and said, “Ohhh you’ve got some bruises.” All I could think to say was “I deserve it.” He put down the spoon and started spanking me HARD with his hand. It really hurt and I didn’t think I could take any more. I finally just gave in and waited for it to be over. Pretty soon he stopped and let me get up.

He hugged me tightly and told me he loves me. We finished watching the movie and I went to sleep early. On Saturday morning, he woke me up to go to breakfast. I went into the bathroom to get ready, and I was very very sore. I looked in the mirror and there were still welts and a few little bruises and then one bigger one the exact size of that cooking spoon. I was still very red all over. I got ready and we drove to the restaurant. On the way there, I commented how it was still hurting. My husband had half a smile and said, “You better be good then.”  

      We had breakfast and then went to Walmart to get parts for our bikes. I couldn’t help but respond with “yes, sir” when he asked me anything. It was like something happened inside my mind. Like, a newfound love and respect for him that either I had lost along the way or never really knew. But to me, he just seemed so strong and I was literally so glad to be his. I just wanted to be right next to him. 

      Anyways, when we got back to the house, we only had a short time before we went to pick up the kids. I told him we needed to get going but he called me back to the bedroom. He told me to bend over the bed. I was kind of confused, but obeyed him. I thought he wanted to see the damage from the night before. He looked at it for a while, and I was feeling pretty uneasy again. Then all of a sudden, I hear the sound of him taking off his belt. He said, “I want to make sure the lesson from last night, sticks.” I was SO scared. So not prepared for another spanking. Much less with a belt. My only request to him was to please not spank on that big bruise. He promised he wouldn’t. But he spanked me quite a few times with the belt and asked me questions about how I’m going to behave in the future. He finally stopped the spanking, and told me to come on, we need to get the kids. 

       Also, besides the spankings, he told me he was going to go grocery shopping for a while with me to make sure I didn’t spend too much. That hurt my feelings too. But I understand. I don’t totally deserve his trust. I even realized Easter is next week and I told him, “It’s okay if I don’t get an Easter dress this year. The money for that got used on that card. He just smiled and said, “No, I’ll get you one.” THAT… that right there is about the lowest I’ve felt this whole time. He is SO good and sweet to me. I don’t deserve that! I love him. 

     Anyways, that is it for now. But I do have a feeling that he doesn’t expect that to be the last time he spanks me. He seems different. More confident. And it kind of makes me feel bad that if he feels like that now, how was I treating him to make him feel the opposite of that? 😔 Oh, and also… I don’t know HOW he thought of it, because I KNOW he hasn’t read your page, but he’s been giving me tasks to complete to make sure I do it and obey him. Like next week he told me stuff he expects done. So anyway, thank you for your help. Your website isn’t wrong. I don’t totally understand it… like not really at all. I don’t know why I feel better after a spanking even though it hurt so bad during it. And even as I was typing it, this verse popped into my head: ◄ Hebrews 12:11 ►

Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. 

…. And to that I say “amen.”


49 responses to “A Wife and the New World of Spanking”

  1. A Learning Wife Avatar
    A Learning Wife

    What a great testimony! I don’t have much to say except I love you this woman so much, she is a great blessing to me, and my best friend! I’m gonna send this article to my husband and I hope he takes time to read this, I think it will help him understand what I’m trying to tell him.

    1. I’m very glad you find it helpful to you. I think your husband can find some insight in it as well.

  2. Wondering Avatar

    Well, I’m not exactly sure what to say, except that this was me a few months back. It’s embarrassing to read on here actually. I hope I never do anything like that again. But I do want to mention the group on Telegram that is posted as a comment on one of these articles. That is where I started talking to “A Learning Wife.” She is very sweet and I’m so thankful for this blog and the Telegram group Jeremy started. Through these, I’ve had the chance to talk to people, all of whom are trying to be the people God intended them to be. The men are leading their wives and the wives are giving advice to each other on how to better please and submit to their husbands. I’m just thankful for all of it. I hope my story is helpful to others who read it.

    1. sarto93 Avatar

      Hello! Great article!
      Where can I join that mentioned Telegram group?

  3. A New Wife Avatar
    A New Wife

    Thanks for sharing your experience.
    We are a newly married couple and I am thinking of showing this article to my husband.
    If you don’t mind – can you share how often do you get spanked now and how it helps your marriage?
    Would also love to know different implements and punishments in your house!


    1. Hello, I don’t know if the writer is currently commenting here, but she might reply.

    2. Wondering Avatar

      Hello! I think there would be a lot more ladies who would better answer this. We are still pretty new to DD, and I’m sure other people are more experienced and can give better advice!

  4. I got in a lot of trouble for a credit card bill, a long time ago I was really dishonest and tried to keep it secret from Bob, but he finds out everything, and I was in the worst trouble I was ever in before. We even had to go talk with the minister, I was spanked every time the bill came in because we didn’t have the money to pay it off, so it took time. I feel sorry for the wife that was punished but I think this husband is really a Godly man. And I think this wife really learned her lesson. She knew she did wrong, and she knows that God gives our husbands the right to punish us whenever they want. So, this is a nice story about the way God wants a marriage to be like, A wife who knows her place and though she messed up is obedient and takes the punishment she deserved and is blessed with a Godly husband like Bob

  5. Missy Avatar

    huh… I do not know if the second spanking was necessary… it was clear that she took a lesson seriously the first time. it really looks like her husband has sadistic tendency and he should recognise his intentions better in my opinion….. spanking AGAIN really bruised backside with a belt for no reason???

    1. Hello Missy, That kind of a judgment is up to the husband to decide. It is assumption to say it is sadistic. If he believes a second spanking would serve her in a situation, then he should give one. Judging from the results, she is learning, and is grateful for his guidance.

      1. obeysubmit Avatar

        It’s obviously notice that men are more clever and rational than women and women can never ever compete with men in this so It’s fair for men to hold the Supreme authority over us and if they decide something even though it seems sometimes sever or harsh or whatever we should meekly, thankfully respectfully, greatfully obey and submit, without hesitation and without any kind of disrespect like saying this is not fair, it’s sever…..extr all these are formes of desobeying and disrespecting our heads showing that we definitely merit more sever discipline until we learn properly and deeply our lower place in hierarchy but this doesn’t mean that our men are God or godlike, they are not infallible, they are humans like us (with more superior capacites) so women should stop immediately their irrealistic expectations.
        Spanking or slapping woman on her already bruised bottom it’s not wrong or sadistic it’s discipline, it’s not a game as many women foolishly think that discipline is just few slaps that redden their bottom for some hours and that’s it and are submissive only if they are agree with their husband’s decisions if not they rebel and start questioning their husbands authority this is not submission and behaving like this means that you want to be the person in charge, so stop right now woman it’s not your place.
        Women also are different some learn the hardest way, so, we should consider our differences and accept its with an open heart.(i do believe that most women fall into this category)
        Discipline is supposed to hurt and to cause a great pain to teach a lesson , I think if a wonan still experience the pain for a week ,it’s a good sign that it had been effective , nothing going to kill you and nothing looks like BDSM, this is just a real discipline, I also believe that if a man decides that he will give you hard spanking just because he feels like it or to relieve his stress ,I think it’s within his rights ,and you should always meekly, thankfully respectfully unquestioningly submit.
        Dear aronhusband, I’m not religious but I’ve always thought that this is the natural order of things , (man commands, rules, woman obeys and submit),

        1. Thank you for your comment. A wife should certainly have a meek and submissive attitude toward her husband. She should be grateful for his headship over her. However, no husband should be spanking his wife for no reason, or without showing her the value in it. Spanking is for punishment, and if needed, occasional training. Its goal is to benefit the home. So no man should give discipline without purpose.

          While a woman must respect her husband’s words, and honor his decision, she is able to offer her own ideas as well, and even offer differing ones, if done with respect. She does not need to nullify her mind or her personality to be fully submissive. It takes wisdom and strength to be truly meek and submissive. A wife is there to help her husband, and that includes with her ideas and counsel. A husband leads with her good and her growth as a woman of God in mind.

          I have known many secular people who recognize the value in the man leading, and who practice discipline. The truth and goodness of these things are known to all. They are not a unique religious dogma. I would add though, every human being is “religious.” That is in the sense they believe in something, be it faith in the theories which explain the universe, their favorite philosophies, or themselves. Everyone worships something, and if it’s not the one true God, it is false gods, desires, human beings. However, the knowledge of the true God is in the heart of every man. In order to live in unbelief, and sin comfortably, he suppresses that knowledge. But all the creation testifies to God and His law, as do our conscience and reason. Man must worship something.

      2. obeysubmit
        “I also believe that if a man decides that he will give you hard spanking just because he feels like it or to relieve his stress ,I think it’s within his rights ,and you should always meekly, thankfully respectfully unquestioningly submit.”

        I agree with you. Giving my body to my husband any time he wants to help him with his sexual needs is an act of submission. But also giving my body to my husband for spanking me as a method of his stress relief is an act of submission and also it might be a great lesson of submission. Being punished is what we expect as a women living in DD dynamic, it’s an act of subbmision, but in my opinion, submitting respectfully a spanking, just because husband wants/needs do this is even a greater act of submission.
        My husband never used spanking in that way, but I think he has a full right to do this. I gave him my body for his pleasure and to help him with his needs, not only sexual needs, but in general.
        Spanking isn’t nice but good trained wife will be glad her sore butt helped her husband with stress or just gave him a pleasure.
        Thats my opinion and of course others don’t have to share it with me. The most important thing is that husbands’ the last word is the most important and wife has to submit. Simple.

    2. Wondering Avatar

      I PROMISE he really isn’t sadistic. If anything, he’s much more patient with me than most couple who practice DD. Thank you for caring, but I really am okay! 😁

    3. Missy it is the husband’s decision and his decision alone when a wife needs punishment. As a woman it is never your place to question any husband’s punishment decision and, in my opinion, you should be given a spanking for posting this, my wife would certainly be spanked for such a post. Another husband can offer an opinion, but also must accept the other’s husband right to be the only one who makes the punishment decision. This happened with our son in law, where I questioned a punishment decision he made, but acknowledged his right to punish our daughter how and when he thought necessary. I could only offer advice. Jane on the other hand had no right to question his decision and in fact was severely punished for doing so in a disrespectful way

  6. Sophia Avatar

    Welcome, Wondering! It was so brave of you to tell your husband what you needed. He must truly cherish your beautiful, submissive heart.

    1. Wondering Avatar

      Thank you for the sweet comment! I appreciate you!

  7. Mandy Avatar

    I was so glad to see you cite Hebrews 12:11. That’s one of the first verses my husband made me commit to memory, and I often have to recite it when we are having disciplinary discussions. I had to do this especially often at the beginning of our marriage when I was also new to the world of spanking, and learning how to accept my discipline properly. I often earned myself additional punishment because of my struggling and defiance. He’d administer extra hard strokes on my upper thighs, often escalating from his hand to the wooden spoon or belt. He’d make me recite the verse over and over. And he’d make me sit on my sore bottom after a spanking and copy it out so I wouldn’t forget the importance of discipline. It’s a wonderful reminder that discipline is difficult while you’re experiencing it, but it helps you have a soft and obedient heart and a peaceful home.

    1. Wondering Avatar

      Wow! Sounds pretty painful. I’m glad it has helped you though. And yes, I think the verse is very true. 😁

  8. Caleb Giese Avatar
    Caleb Giese

    I am a fan of this blog, but this is likely a bogus story. I knew it was fake as soon as I saw the term briefcase. Absolutely no one carries briefcases anymore, not even lawyers

    1. Glad you like the blog. The story may be bogus, or it may not be. Online you never know for sure. I was aware of that possibility when I posted it, but I think it captures a lot of important elements very well anyway. Thank you.

    2. Caleb what is being called a briefcase could be a leather folder to carry schematics or blueprints. I am a retired engineer I worked for a public utility. I preferred to have hard copies handy rather than just CAD diagrams thought I used both because you can’t do anything without a computer. This seems to make sense if he is in construction

    3. Wondering Avatar

      I assure both you and Aron, that it did, indeed happen. And I will also send a picture OF the briefcase AND bill to Aron, if he wants it. 😁

      1. Thanks for your reply. It’s not necessary, but if you’d like you may.

    4. Hello Caleb, I have since received a photo of the wife who wrote the story along with the briefcase. Looks solid to me.

    5. I have since been sent a picture of the bill itself. The author does not wish anyone to think the story is untrue. I hope that satisfies you. Blessings.

  9. obeysubmit Avatar

    Dear aronhusband,
    I totally agree with you , i don’t believe in dictatorshipe or abusing of authority , what I mean is that some spankings even though they seem for no particular reason the woman can benefit tremendously from it and it falls into the category of submission spanking or training or whetever you call it .
    Of course the woman can openly voice their ideas and opinions but what I mean is that the ultimate decision is for one person , is for the head only and once it is made it should be obeyed unquestioningly with respect .
    Thank you

  10. Speaking Truth Avatar
    Speaking Truth

    This is abuse and it is unbiblical. For the original poster, I hope this is consensual. Or please get help. No one should be advocating for this, but if you are that’s on you.

    Husbands are called to love their wife as Christ loves the Church. That does not mean he is a dictator over her. She is allowed to have an opinion. She is allowed to not be abused. I’m so tired of people taking biblical things way out of context and making up fake ideas just to satisfy their sinful beings. Like truly get out your Bibles. Also, if you are a man doing this, then why not do it to yourself? Oh wait, you wouldn’t because you think you are a God.

    1. Dear Not Truthful, No, wife spanking is not abuse, nor is it unbiblical. You cannot defend either of those statements, but only communicate your personal opinion, which has been hammered into you by the secular culture. You confuse your personal preference for the moral law.

      Wife spanking is just punishment by the head of the home of a wife when she behaves badly. It is rooted in the legitimate authority of the man, and in the subordinate position of the woman. Its goal is the same as any punishment on the planet, to punish wrong, and instill better behavior in the future. In the context of marriage it can also often draw man and wife closer together, and deepen a wife’s soft and meek femininity.

      It is no more “abuse” than a parent punishing a child or the state punishing a citizen. The husband who spanks his wife is not cruel, but works for the betterment of his wife and of the home. He is being both benevolent and just.

      Interestingly, you accuse others of being unbiblical, but you are the one guilty of it. You have absolutely no passage in Scripture which condemns spanking, either of wives or anyone else. In fact, the Bible endorses or commands corporal punishment, both of servants and of criminals. Nor does the Bible suggest that punishing evil is itself an evil, but mandates and promises the punishment of evil many times. Nor is punishment of wives against the principle of love, as God is love, and He clearly punishes His own chosen people.

      When you go outside the Bible, to accuse others of sin based only on your own opinion, you are a false teacher, and commit sin yourself. It is you who think you are God, and you need to step down.

      No husband believes he is God. Rather, he recognizes he has an authority position, something clear both in Scripture and in nature. He knows that a responsible use of authority includes making rules for the benefit of all, and also punishing evil, so he does so. The Bible explicitly gives him authority, and compares it to the authority of Christ, whom all Christians ought to obey. A wife needs to look to her husband as the Christ figure of the home, not only in awe and love, but in obedience to him. That is the Word of the Lord.

      I have several articles which respond to many common criticisms of wife spanking, both Christian and secular. They both provide thorough answers to your complaints:



      The real abusers are those who throw the order of the family into chaos. The real abusers endorse ripping families apart and leaving children without both parents. The real abusers threaten to throw men in prison for punishing their wives, an assault a thousand times worse than a simple spanking, one which harms the entire family. The real abusers take the woman out of her subordinate position, and teach her to usurp authority, in the family or elsewhere. All of this and more is abuse, and comes from the secular world, as well as Christians who have absorbed its values. The family is one man and one woman for life; man and woman have different roles, and the man is in charge.

      1. I agree that a woman might consent to the things that you practise but I don’t think that all women agree to the same things… And what if she changes her mind because things become too different than what she thought that she was agreeing to?… Perhaps that is when she finds herself in a shelter and having to fight over bank accounts and such…

        1. Hello Ms. Jacquot, Thank you for your comment. A wife who consents to discipline, or to marrying a man whom she knows will discipline her, usually has a general idea of what that discipline entails. That doesn’t mean it will be easy. She may still want to resist at times. However, she’s got the basic idea, and even if there is something new, she should have no problem with it as long as it’s under the same basic category of discipline which she understands.

          Leadership and discipline often evolve with time, so there’s really no way to describe every possible option. She simply needs to know that she is under her man’s authority, what her responsibilities are, and that she can be spanked for doing wrong. She does not need to agree to every last thing he does, but she still needs to accept it.

          Since marriage is for life, being under her husband’s authority is also for life. That means she will be disciplined as long as they live, unless he changes his mind. The discipline is for life just as the marriage is for life (barring age or disability making it impossible). You don’t change your mind on marriage.

          There is no real reason for a woman to end up in a shelter. Very few men who spank their wives are dangerous in the sense it would demand leaving the home. In fact, many men who are so dangerous, are not into wife spanking at all, but are simply out of control angry people, and often criminals. Spanking has nothing to do with it.

          In the case of real danger, she may leave, although in the long run, as with any problem, the goal is reconciliation. You do not leave the home just because you don’t like something your spouse does, including spanking. Departing for such reasons is selfish, destructive, and wicked. People in “shelters” are usually experts at breaking up families, so that is one of the last places to go.

          I hope that answers your questions.

      2. Speaking Truth Avatar
        Speaking Truth

        Oh, I can defend my response. It’s not secular to have this opinion. And usually I don’t argue online, but this is so wrong, so I will. The Bible literally says for husbands to love their wife. Ephesians 5:25. Christ has never punished the Church. Never. Also, abuse is about morals. This is a kink. Literally.

        And people punishing their wife for things are doing so based on their own opinions. Their opinions of how the world is, as they see it. Not as God sees it. Demanding they get their way. That isn’t how life works. Loving a wife involves cherishing her and taking care of her. Lovingly. Women are not personal servants.

        So, if you mess up with things, do you abuse yourself? Do you have consequences for your actions? I am going to guess you don’t. What happens when you need to be punished for all of your wrongs? Do you not have any? You are still a human.

        Women are not children. Last I checked, we can understand things. Communication goes a long way.

        I never said I was God. I am not. I am trying to stand up for women.

        Just because he is in authority does not mean he can act that way. It’s not a dictatorship where you get what you want, when you want, and how you want.

        And I am ok with not reading more. This website is full of selfishness. So if you want to attack me again, go ahead. Or delete my comments because I don’t really care. There is no point in defending a Christian response because you will never agree with it. And it’s not my problem because we will all have to answer to God one day.

        And the reason those men go to jail is because they’re hurting women. That is never ok. Unless its a consensual thing, but other than that those men get what they get.

        [Comment edited by Aron to remove promotion]

        1. Dear Untruthful, I do not keep long debates going here, but I will allow and respond to some of this, so that you don’t continue to convince yourself that you know it all, and that spanking your wife is sin.

          You begin by claiming that you have an answer to my statements defending spanking, and then the FIRST thing you say is a falsehood: that God does not punish the Church. This is nonsense, and needs to clue you in to the fact you have no solid ground to attack marital discipline.

          The Bible explicitly teaches, both in Old Testament and New, that God punishes His chosen people. God punishes Israel in the Old Covenant, and God punishes the Church in the new. Jesus himself promises chastisement, including illness and death. Considering your very basis to reject my comments is the falsehood that God doesn’t punish His people, you need to completely review your line of thought, and find better ground to stand on.

          Here are a few prominent examples showing that God does punish His beloved, in both covenants:

          Hebrews 12

          And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons:

          “My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD,
          Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him;

          For whom the LORD loves He chastens,
          And scourges every son whom He receives.”

          If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten?

          But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons.

          Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live?

          For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness.

          Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

          Revelation 3:19

          As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent.

          Revelation 2:20-23

          “Nevertheless I have a few things against you, because you allow that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, to teach and seduce My servants to commit sexual immorality and eat things sacrificed to idols.

          “And I gave her time to repent of her sexual immorality, and she did not repent.

          “Indeed I will cast her into a sickbed, and those who commit adultery with her into great tribulation, unless they repent of their deeds.

          “I will kill her children with death, and all the churches shall know that I am He who searches the minds and hearts. And I will give to each one of you according to your works.

          Hebrews 10:26-31

          For if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins,

          but a certain fearful expectation of judgment, and fiery indignation which will devour the adversaries.

          Anyone who has rejected Moses’ law dies without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses.

          Of how much worse punishment, do you suppose, will he be thought worthy who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, counted the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified a common thing, and insulted the Spirit of grace?

          For we know Him who said, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. And again, “The LORD will judge His people.”

          It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

          Luke 13:1-5

          here were present at that season some who told Him about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices.

          And Jesus answered and said to them, “Do you suppose that these Galileans were worse sinners than all other Galileans, because they suffered such things?

          “I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish.

          “Or those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them, do you think that they were worse sinners than all other men who dwelt in Jerusalem?

          “I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish.”

          Luke 12:47-48

          “And that servant who knew his master’s will, and did not prepare himself or do according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes.

          “But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall be beaten with few.

          Deuteronomy 28:15-20

          But it shall come to pass, if you do not obey the voice of the LORD your God, to observe carefully all His commandments and His statutes which I command you today, that all these curses will come upon you and overtake you:

          “Cursed shall you be in the city, and cursed shall you be in the country.

          “Cursed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl.

          “Cursed shall be the fruit of your body and the produce of your land, the increase of your cattle and the offspring of your flocks.

          “Cursed shall you be when you come in, and cursed shall you be when you go out.

          “The LORD will send on you cursing, confusion, and rebuke in all that you set your hand to do, until you are destroyed and until you perish quickly, because of the wickedness of your doings in which you have forsaken Me.

          Isaiah 5:1-7

          My Well-beloved has a vineyard
          On a very fruitful hill.

          He dug it up and cleared out its stones,
          And planted it with the choicest vine.
          He built a tower in its midst,
          And also made a winepress in it;
          So He expected it to bring forth good grapes,
          But it brought forth wild grapes.

          “And now, O inhabitants of Jerusalem and men of Judah,
          Judge, please, between Me and My vineyard.

          What more could have been done to My vineyard
          That I have not done in it?
          Why then, when I expected it to bring forth good grapes,
          Did it bring forth wild grapes?

          And now, please let Me tell you what I will do to My vineyard:
          I will take away its hedge, and it shall be burned;
          And break down its wall, and it shall be trampled down.

          I will lay it waste;
          It shall not be pruned or dug,
          But there shall come up briers and thorns.
          I will also command the clouds
          That they rain no rain on it.”

          For the vineyard of the LORD of hosts is the house of Israel,
          And the men of Judah are His pleasant plant.
          He looked for justice, but behold, oppression;
          For righteousness, but behold, a cry for help.

          That should be more than enough passages from Scripture so that you cease claiming that God does not punish His people.

          Your also fail to reply to various of my points I originally stated. You do not reply to the fact you have no biblical passage condemning wife spanking. You do not reply to the fact that the Bible actually endorses punishment, including corporal punishment. You do not reply to the countless harms caused by tearing apart the family, and locking men in prison, harms literally a thousand times harsher than a spanking, which hurts for a little while, or a few days.

          You assume that love would not include punishment, but clearly the opposite is the case. Love, biblicaly and logically, includes punishment, which is just, and good for the offender. The God of love both punishes His people, and commands we punish bad behavior. He commands we punish children as well. So the spanking husband is a loving husband. You need to stop misrepresenting love. It is not constant niceness or equal friendship. Love cares for the good of the other, something that will necessitate punishment in the case of an authority. Otherwise, we would let people get away will all kinds of bloody evil, and do absolutely nothing about it.

          You assume also, that spanking is based merely on one’s opinion, or is to a husband can get his way. Why said that? The discipline of a wife is based on moral norms, alongside the rules a husband sets for the household, which help it run well and facilitate good things. That’s not punishment based on opinion, but based on the same thing any other authority punishes — ethical wrongs, and the breaking of rules. Naturally a husband has to make judgment calls, but so do actual judges. He has every right from a position of authority to apply justice in each case, and decide if a close call was on the wrong or the right side of the line. It’s the same thing any other authority does, but you just do not wish to see it.

          The fact that women are not little children is irrelevant to whether wife spanking is right or wrong. Spanking is not only for children, but for adults too. Corporal punishment has been used on adults for thousands of years, in many cultures, and in a variety of forms. Some nations still use it for adult criminals today. So no one claims a woman is a child, but only that she deserves a spanking, and greatly benefits from getting one.

          Communication in marriage is great. Who said it isn’t? I wholeheartedly endorse it. However, good communication does not rule out punishment as a form of correction. Does good communication rule out punishment in the workplace, or punishment by the state? So why would communication mean that this kind or another kind of correction wasn’t needed. People aren’t flawless. You cannot simply lovingly tell people what to do, and have them never choose to be neglectful or do evil. So a discipline system comes into play, and is very useful. A spanking is not what a marriage is built on, but it should be something a marriage includes.

          You accept that men are locked in prison for reasons you think they deserve. However, in accepting this fact, (and about a punishment extremely worse than a spanking) you also show you understand why wives get spanked — because they did wrong and they deserve what they get. You clearly can understand these things, but you just want to change the rules when it comes to marriage. A man spanking his wife is little more than an authority practicing discipline, as the state does. it is simply a much more humane and loving form of discipline than prison, which destroys lives, both literally and figuratively.

          Wife spanking wonderfully highlights a woman’s bare body. Yes. But it is not just a kink, as you try to denigrate it as. Read the articles and many of the comments and you would know that. If wife spanking were a kink, it would be used for kinky purposes, primarily in bed. However, wife spanking is a punishment, and is used for the just correction of wives. It is quick, efficient, and restores a home to peace and harmony very soon after. Both many husbands and many wives can testify to that. It is often sexually exciting, but its primary purpose is discipline, and it works well as a form of discipline.

          You really need to learn more about the subject. That is why I recommended two articles which answer your objections, and more. If you read them, you wouldn’t bother wasting your time making false claims about the Bible. You refuse to learn, because you are comfortable and proud of what society has jammed into your head. But you are confused, about spanking, and probably gender roles more broadly. Find a better basis for truth than you currently have. You sin to claim that wife spanking is a sin.

    2. Speaking Truth, I suggest you get out your bible. In both the New Testament and the Old Testament, the bible tells us that Husbands rule over their wives and wives must submit to husband IN ALL THINGS. Some examples

      Ephesians 5.22

      Wives submit to your husbands, as to the lord. For the husbands is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body and is himself savior. Now as the Church submits to Christ, so also wives should SUBMIT IN EVERYTHING to their husbands

      The bible goes further. I assume you are a female. If this is true, I refer you to

      1 Timothy 2:12

      I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man, rather she is to remain quite


      Colossians 3:18-19

      Wives, submit to your husband, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands love your wives, and do not be too harsh with them

      Given that the right for a husband to chastise his wife was universally recognized at the time the bible was written it seems a bit of stretch to argue that the bible doesn’t recognize this right. If spanking a wife was really unbiblical it would say so. It’s true that Husbands are commanded to not be TOO harsh with their wives. This clearly means that a husband should be measured when he spanks his wife, not that he cannot spank her when she is disobedient, speaks when she is not supposed to, or shows disrespect to her husband or to any man. If you are a woman, should your husband decide you need a dose of the strap, or a good paddling on your behind you would be defying the word of the lord if you refused to obediently submit to his correction, assuming you are a Christian woman.

      1. Maria E. Avatar
        Maria E.

        Just as a correction, the Colossians 3:18-19 scripture is “Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them”
        It does not say “do not be TOO harsh with them.”
        This post is not trying to make any statements for or against wife spanking ( as I said in an earlier post I am studying this topic from an academic standpoint) but if scripture is to be quoted, it should be done so correctly.

        1. Thank you for your comment, and your care with the citation. Much is a matter of translation. Mine says do not be “bitter” towards them. It is the Greek pikraino, which can mean to make bitter, to render angry or indignant, to be embittered or irritated, to grieve.

    3. We are not atheists, but religion, faith is just not our thing. Faith in any god(s) it’s not our thing. So you can’s say we use DD because my husband thinks he has right to spank me because of Bible, etc.
      Even if you read about history of our spiece you can notice that almost always women were submissive. Its a part of our nature, and its sooo easy to notice that even these days. Books and films for women are full of strong, powerful, bossy, dominant men characters. We want it! Some women only in books, dreams but some also in a real life. Aarons’ blog helped me admit to myself that there is nothing wrong with my desires and needs. DD was an my idea, not my husbands’. We started DD one year ago and in our opinion, relation dominant male – submissive female is as natural as breathing. For us DD has more common with evolution of Homo Sapiens than with Bible.

      1. Hello Kinga, Thank you for your comment. I am very happy my blog has helped you accept your embrace of discipline. I believe it can help in nearly any household. It is in human nature to know these things. They are found in nearly every society in human history, and it is an extremely modern phenomenon to pretend that sex differences, or sex roles simply do not exist. I hope you and your husband continue to be fulfilled by it.

        I would add, that the same common knowledge that lets us accurately know sex differences, is the same common knowledge that lets us know we have a Creator, and that we are responsible to the moral law. If we were not, there would be nothing wrong with rape, murder, and any atrocity under the sun. Evolution is as much well expressed by the murderous mayhem of Genghis Khan as it is by anything else. Man only denies his Maker because of the allure of playing god himself, and the attraction of sinning freely. But man retains the knowledge of God, suppressed in his heart. That rumble of guilt is a reminder that we all know God.

      2. Thank you for your responce. Yes, we live in times where some group of people wants to convince there is no difference between male and female. But I’m a big fan of biology, especially human biology, psychology and sociology and always I felt some king of dissonance between modern gender trend media serving and the knowledge I’ve learnt about Homo Sapiens. We are different (not that one sex is better or worse) we are equal, but just different so our roles are different. And evebody can read about it in history books.
        Firstly, I had no idea it is a my need, later I was really shamed to say loud that I have that specific need of having different type of relation than media says “is the only right one”. But because of your blog that need grew up soo much that I couldn’t be silent longer, so I started talking about DD with my husband. Beginnings were awkward because those role models have been totally new for us. It not like I accepted immediately everything in that lifestyle, there is still a lot of opposition in me, stubbornness, but I’m not blind and I’m able to notice that DD works and is way more natural than previous type of our dynamic. I really hate being spanked but I also had to admit it’s more natural than arguing, fights, silent days, etc. My husband grew as a male and also as a human, me too!
        For us DD is just a coming back to nature.

        1. Thank you for your explanation of how discipline began in your marriage. Egalitarianism is truly oddball, and it doesn’t make sense to ignore the significant differences between man and woman. I find that more often than not, it is the woman in this culture who asks for the man to lead and for him to discipline her. That’s not that men don’t sense the need in their souls as well, but many have been taught it is evil, and they are at risk if a woman claims it is abuse, so I think interested men hold back from initiating it. Once they hear the suggestion from their woman, they are much more likely to try. I am very glad you can see how discipline takes care of problems quickly. That is one of its great advantages. I hope many more couples begin to try it out.

      3. You’re right. Men are afraid to propose DD, and it’s quite resonable fear. Our society if far from acceptation DD as a type of lifestyle. I’m 100% sure that my husband wouldn’t propose DD to me. He shares me thoughts about DD, but only in bed he had a courage to show me his dominant side. I had to make the first step, but now he is a great leader. And I love watch to how he grew as a man, as a HoH 🤩
        Aron, you are doing a great work with this blog and please, don’t stop.

        1. Thank you very much. I am so happy you have both benefited from it. I know you will continue to grow in leadership and submission.

  11. Algunos maridos son demasiado estrictos. Mí esposo no entiende que soy una mujer moderna y tengo vida social. El se enoja y me castiga con nalgadas muy seguido. Me cuesta soportar el dolor y humillación. Me deja marcas y moretones, y no le importa darme otra paliza más. No me tiene piedad

    Aron’s note –This is what the auto translate gives us: “Some husbands are too strict. My husband does not understand that I am a modern woman and I have a social life. He gets angry and punishes me with spanking very often. I have a hard time enduring the pain and humiliation. He leaves me marks and bruises, and he doesn’t mind beating me yet another. He has no mercy on me.”

    1. Hello Lola, I am happy to her from our Spanish speaking readers. I know that being corrected and spanked by your husband is hard sometimes, but he clearly has something you need to learn about your behavior, and you should focus on changing your behavior. If he doesn’t want you out socializing, you have to obey his wishes. You should find that as you learn to change your behavior, the spankings will be less.

      It is important for your husband though, not to correct you while angry, and to be careful about how he disciplines you. A spanking ought to hurt, but it should also be controlled, and not be a mere release of anger. It is a loving discipline given for the purpose of leading you out of bad behavior.

      His choice to keep you away from socializing is a good one. Going out, very often, is just an excuse for a sensual, worldly, and selfish lifestyle. Socializing also frequently tempts people to sin, be it through lewdness, fornication, adultery, drugs, or drunkenness. At the minimum, it keeps one’s attention on the wrong things.

      In marriage, there is not much of the world’s idea of a night out. The social life revolves heavily around the family, close community, church, and other beneficial activities. Simply going out with friends to cut loose is not a meaningful part of married life, and naturally presents many dangers that would destroy marriage.

      Listen to your husband’s words, and obey him.

  12. The thing I find most interesting about stories like this is that even before/without accepting marital discipline explicitly, it makes clear that everyone knows deep down that the husband has the authority to discipline his wife. Why else would she attempt to hide a credit card bill but to avoid getting in trouble? And how could she even get in trouble if he doesn’t have disciplinary authority over her? Even if we reject it, we all know who’s in charge, or at least who is supposed to be.

    1. Wondering Avatar

      I can say I didn’t hide it because I didn’t want to get into trouble. I initially didn’t tell him because I was mad I was put in the situation of “needing” to get a credit card. Then, when he finally moved back with our family… a year or so later, I felt bad for having not told him about getting it. I kind of just wanted to pay it off and not bring it up again. I didn’t think of being “in trouble” in any way. But the timing of me HAVING to tell him because it was too hard not to, and me discovering that people actually spanked their wives, was literally almost the same exact time. And I think that it was almost more helpful to me, to be able to give him the option instead of telling him and leaving him mad, sad, and confused. 🤷🏼‍♀️

  13. Good day, Aron and thank you for this blog. I wanted to ask what your opinion and the opinion of the readers about going to the gym and working out without a husband?

    1. Hello Anna, You’re welcome. That’s a good question and I’m sure different men would handle it differently. Considering that nearly all workout clothing is extremely immodest, it’s best to find another way to get exercise, which can be easily done. Gym is also for some people a social environment, in which men and women meet, and for that reason is inappropriate as well.

      It’s often possible to get necessary exercise simply through work at home and on your property, but going out together cycling or hiking can also be good exercise. It can be done as a couple, and does not require dressing immodestly. I know the cultural trend is towards going to a gym, but it’s far from a necessity.

      Thanks for your question.

      1. Hello Aron and I am grateful for your answer.
        I agree that workout clothes are often very tight, and inappropriate for a married woman. I am wondering if women in DD marriages are not allowed to have conversations with other males, for example if they have a male friend or a male co-worker?
        Maybe it would be possible to wear another kind of workout clothes for those wives who want to workout in a gym. I would love to hear from other wifes who are in a DD marriage?
        Best regards Anna.

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