There’s That Maintenance Thing

I regularly hear from readers, and likewise from married men and women about maintenance spanking, with opinions both for and against. I’ve put out an article uniquely on this topic before, and I want to address a few related points. Maintenance rubs a lot of people the wrong way, but is also a common practice, and both husband and wife attest often to its usefulness. The idea of bending over to be spanked simply to be trained is a challenging one indeed. It impresses some couples as unfair. I’d like to review a few of its positive points, as well as its dangers.

Spanking for the sake of keeping a wife on point often comes with good results. Whether it is to impress on her the submissive mind she needs, or to remind her of her needed upcoming behavior, it can be productive. No law of nature proves that spankings can only be for punishment. A spanked wife is often newly impressed with her man’s authority, and easily moves into a submissive and peaceful frame of mind. She has a warmth about her, and an ease at following her man’s instructions. It’s not hard to see why couples start to use spanking simply to maintain that positive attitude in a woman. It helps keep it going from week to week. Likewise, women who have repeated problems, or give into temptation too often, benefit from a reminder from time to time, even if there’s been no infraction. A regular burning bottom, and a regular lecture, keeps her more aware in the future of her problem areas. Little red flags go up when temptation approaches. She possesses prescience to veer out of the way of that oncoming error. She feels more consciously that her man is there with her, and his authority follows her where she goes. His seal is upon her.

For couples who do not wish to use maintenance, I find a regular time of verbal instruction and correction is useful. As I have mentioned before, I find if my wife is slipping in some areas, a verbal session helps keep her conscious of her need to behave, to be watchful of her own errors, and to be attentive to what I say. It helps keep her accustomed to receiving my correction with humility and grace, instead of resisting it. It helps corrode any pride that may in the future bristle at discipline. I’ve found a corrective talk helps shore up problem areas my wife has, a talk that naturally comes with elements of a discipline session, including her needing to strip and receive instruction on her knees. The physical and mental act of putting herself in the right place before her husband, and needing to answer meekly to him, carries over into her behavior. There are times when a spanking is superior, and will have stronger effects, but for those who reject maintenance, I’d recommend weekly verbal sessions to accomplish some of the same goals.

One danger with maintenance spankings is the frequency. For some women, a high frequency of spanking would cause them to worry too much about getting in trouble and being punished again. It may also cause her to lose sight of what behavior really is seriously wrong, if she receives the same basic consequences without bad behavior. That’s why training spankings are better kept lighter and less harsh than punishment ones. A husband has to gauge the usefulness of regular spankings, and keep from going overboard when it comes to frequency. I’ve heard about men who give daily spankings, and if this is anything other than fairly light ones, I would view this as a misuse of discipline. Weekly frequency is most common, and I have used that before, both with maintenance and with verbal sessions. At the minimum, I would keep an open mind about the occasional use of spanking purely to train her, because it has had proven results in many marriages. Husbands point to their wife’s better ongoing performance, and wives testify that they slip up less often, and are less likely to get spanked for punishment in the future.

There is a mode and an attitude that comes with the marital relationship. I comes with the clear loving authority of the man, and the gentle, silent obedience of his wife. That sometimes conflicts with our personal desires and our contrary attitudes, even our bad habits. Just as good diet, stretching, exercise, and training can prepare an athlete for a sport, practice and training can also get man and wife into the flow of their marital relationship. The regular spanking, done apart from punishment, is the somewhat difficult practice that helps immensely. It leaves a wife temporarily sore, but stronger at submitting in the near future, as well as the distant. Her soul is more prepared to walk in its place, and to hold silence when it needs to. She is less likely to react against her man’s words. Many women testify it keeps them out of trouble. If maintenance helps get you there, then use it. Marriage is until the end, and it’s not odd to need some reminders about our work.

NOTE: For readers who have contacted me, and not heard back, I frequently get my mail returned from Protonmail accounts, and a few others. If you write me for these accounts, that is likely why you have not heard back. I reply to all e-mail fairly quickly, unless it is just hate mail. Try writing me from another account if you do not hear back.


40 responses to “There’s That Maintenance Thing”

  1. Good post Aron.

    We are new to this, so it’s only about 2 months now that my husband has embraced discipling me at all. The concept of maintenance really weirds him out, it’s hard enough for him to hurt me when I’ve done wrong, he can’t see hurting me when I haven’t, although I myself can definitely see the value of the maintenance idea.

    But, as we’ve gone forward, there are a few other things that seem to have taken the place in our lives that maintenance plays in other couples’ lives. For one, he is strict about everything which we have established together that respect and subjection should look like in our household. So he will discipline me for little things, but real things, which means I get disciplined very often. Probably those things he could take care of with a verbal warning, but for now as we are establishing the reality of his authority and discipline, they are all discipline sessions.

    But these infractions are recognized as little things, these are not the full-fledged discipline spankings I’ve gotten a few times now for more blantant bad behavior. They sting but they are short. So it satisfies both his need to not spank me for nothing, and my need to be reminded a lot of my place. I really like how you called it “his seal” on her. Yes, that’s pretty sweet. I do indeed do a lot better when I can feel the soreness on my bottom staying with me a little, going through my day.

    I guess the other danger exists — that a lot of short, fairly bearable discipline times can leave me with the impression that discipline isn’t THAT bad and that I don’t need to fear it. But the reality is that if I really act up (and I have) that I quickly get disabused of that impression.

    BTW, I now have a blog. So I don’t take over yours so much with comments.
    Thanks for being our marriage coach though, even though we’ve never spoken, your blog is pure gold for my growth and my husband has at times said, “Let’s learn!” and asked me to read many of your posts aloud.

    1. Hello Heather. Congratulations on starting a blog. I’m very happy to have helped get you started with discipline. Thanks for sharing your way of doing things. That strategy keeps spankings regular, and I can see it advantages and disadvantages. I’m sure some others might try doing the same.

      I will check out your blog.


      1. Italian Husband Avatar
        Italian Husband

        Good morning. This article is extremely important (and as always very well written) in the even multi-year dynamics of a married couple. I take back some insights about our choice that I wrote elsewhere on the blog. The chastisement of maintenance has always been a safe and shared element for my wife and me, although over time it has changed in the way it has been realized. The reasons in favor, with experience, have always outweighed those against, but this is because we have found that our two craratters are well attuned to a fixed weekly chastisement. And especially for her. We realized almost immediately, though, that there must be a clear difference between a guilt chastisement and a maintenance chastisement. So I decided, after talking about it together, many years ago, that maintenance is weekly, hand spanking as a rule, once a month with a belt. Also, the maintenance chastisement is never done with her completely enuda, while the guilt chastisement is. This psychological element is fundamental epr us: if she is to receive a chastisement for mistakes or faults she has to be “helpless” and therefore naked, if it is for maintenance instead it is an “agreed therapy” and she, keeping an aprte of her clothes (above the waist), feels more involved in this therapy. On the other hand, it is not necessarily the case that maintenance is less severe than chastisement for guilt, it depends on the guilt and depends a lot on her emotional situation (e.g., if she needs to vent strong stress with maintenance). Over the years (30) this system of ours has proven to be the best, it has solidified our understanding and her active submission. I hope I have inspired well, thank you.

        Translated with (free version)

    2. jmcb1429 Avatar

      Hello Heather, is it possible to have the address of your blog? Anyway, thank you to created one, it is alot of work but, like Aron, you will probably help many couples. Good luck

      1. You can usually click on a name to get someone’s blog, if it’s on WordPress.

  2. Wondering Avatar

    I’m not really sure how I feel about this. I kind of think it’s not necessary. I mean: if a wife wants to submit to her husband, and IS, I’m not sure a spanking will do anything. Maybe I’m wrong, but I would think the goal is to obey to ensure you don’t get one. 🤔 Haha, maybe it’s just me… but I think I would be more annoyed if I got it “just to make sure I keep doing right.” Eh… everyone is different I guess.

    1. Sure, there are good arguments for and against. It is helpful in some marriages, but won’t work in all.

  3. Sergeant Avatar

    A very necessary article, so I would describe it.

    Having tried the weekly lighter discipline sessions myself, I am confident to say the variance of effectiveness from couple to couple goes a long range. As I understand many benefit from it, it is also necessary to note that it can create a great sense of unfairness to the wife and drive her not only to a very submissive state but it can develop some type of depressive one as well, a man has to be very attentive to capture how his wife is responding to each method he’s using.

    I found that frequent warnings carefully done in time a certain situation might arise is most effective in the sense of putting a reminder in the wife’s head.

    Especially speaking of rebel women, discipline needs to be carefully measured to put her in place and not evoke the sense of unfairness that can lead to more rebellion. In these cases the consistency of a man’s authority needs to be shown in every aspect of the couples life, even the most loving and endearing ones. A woman needs to know her man’s authority is there all the time and in every way and it’s not just shown through his physical strength.

    Lastly I reinforce that each woman is different and one that has lost her natural submissiveness to this corrupted world might need deeper care into restoring that balance inside her.

  4. Weekly maintenance seems like a good way for the woman to be more involved and to embrace her chastisement. Yes, embrace. So much of what’s written seems to assume that the woman is not actively wanting or seeking to submit to having her buttocks chastised. Instead, if she is more involved and proactive with her husband on keeping track of personal accountability, she might be more fulfilled. She also might avoid the terribly painful punishment whippings that could occur if things get too far off track.

    Weekly scheduling would vent pressure so that behavior doesn’t build up so much that it requires a horribly strict punishment whipping. I would say that it be primarily for that important reconnection to reinforce the roles. But also a time to go over the week between them and let go of any little hurts or angers. To me, it seems like an ideal time to focus on the woman and her needs. Really, it seems like the maintenance session is for her and all about supporting her. For her to have her time to talk about her issues and how her husband can help. That would be the place for the wife to safely complain or confess to things that should be said and shows her trust to her husband that she speaks freely while in, or about to be in, such a submissive and vulnerable bared position. And he deal with the issues lovingly but with purpose. But together.

    I would say the maintenance session only be as strict as needed, with maybe only a very short time of very stinging straps or spanks just enough to make that connection again if nothing has gone wrong. More of a long and leisurely, no pressure type of session. It will be up to the husband to listen and monitor her to see if she’s really clearing the mental slate for the week. He should ask her questions as she’s being spanked to verify that she knows she’s getting what’s good and right for her. That she knows in her heart she needs it. If there is really good trust and communication, the woman can also give input on her mood and what preventative corrective action she might need coming up. And she should embrace this opportunity. For instance if she feels like her hormones are going to be a issue and cause her mood to be quite disagreeable, she could tell her husband then that she feels that coming up and hopes she doesn’t succumb to it. That she might need a little preventative reminder. The husband could then help that situation by giving her some more strict reminders of what will happen if she doesn’t control that mood.

    For me, I would like to keep a list of relatively small things I want to be accountable for to be dealt with weekly. For instance I was too lazy to use a salad mix before it went bad. I knew it was going bad but let it go anyway and wasted food and money when I threw it away. As I threw it away, I knew I deserved to feel the sting of a chastisement on my bottom for that waste. Because I know I deserved it, I want what’s right. And I would want to be honest with my husband, and trust that he will deliver the appropriate level of chastisement to me. I personally want to change that behavior to be a better person and want to add that to my list of things to be accountable for at the end of the week. So I during the maintenance, I would receive a certain part of the session dedicated to that each item I wanted to improve. I would hear from my husband how the next set of strokes or part of my chastisement will be for wasting and my laziness in that regard. I would feel that particular set of stinging strokes and punishment separated from the rest of the session, and use it to focus and remind my myself and improve myself item by item. He could ask me if the message is getting through as I’m being spanked or probably strapped or paddled a few times, since this would be actual corrective action, and if he’s not satisfied with my reply being 100 per cent there he can adjust the stokes to more intense to get through to me. Next time, I won’t be so lazy and I will feel better for it. I had the help and supportive attention of my husband and together as a team we solve the issue. But most important was my being part of the process. And my satisfaction with the process. And that I embrace receiving the sting of chastisement on my bottom as I deserve. And I think all this is more likely to occur if something is regularly scheduled. Even small errors or transgressions can really build up to cause a much bigger problem that no one wants.

    Ideally I think it would be good to have a relationship where the woman can freely tell the husband ahead of something she’s tempted to do or react to poorly, or needs reminders about and get that dealt with in her maintenance time (or as needed) so she doesn’t have to have a horrible punishment spanking. This is a consensual relationship between adults, not a parent/child where the child does not want to be spanked. As a grown adult woman, I recognize that the chastisement on my bottom delivered by my husband is good for me. It took long enough to realize. I want that cleansing. I want that accountability. I want him to take control and heat up my backside commensurate to what is needed. I don’t want to avoid a spanking that’s good and appropriate for me. And that’s good for keeping our relationship in place. I want to participate and help him in recognizing when I need it before things get worse and have that openness between us. We are on the same team. We should want the same goals and achieve them together, including that I receive meaningful, purposeful chastisement on my bottom.

    Do other women feel that way? Or do you just hope you never get spanked and hate it when you inevitably do? I just can’t imagine that. If I am in this kind of a marriage, then I’m going to partner with him and be on his side to support and even embrace my chastisements too. If I don’t, or anything less, I feel like I’m undermining him, our partnership, & our commitment to live as disciplined wife couple. So that means I need to actively embrace, support and assist him proactively as well in his role as my disciplinarian.

    I would think that after the maintenance both of us feel clear, connected, intimate and close. Comfortable in our roles. It seems like it should be a time to even look forward to each week to reconnect at a core level. I know I would. Maybe afterwards the woman gets her bottom and back rubbed, and told how appreciated she is for wanting to improve and submitting herself to him. And a time for the husband to take his wife as he pleases.

    1. I agree and could have written the same response. If I truly want to improve in my reverence and obedience, I must learn self disciple and accountability. Explaining it in this manner removes the TFTB aspect that is sometimes confusing. Great perspective. Thanks!

      1. Also, we meet twice a week.

    2. mstttt, (your name is not clicking through to a blog or webpage, btw, but it seems you intended it to?)

      I love what you wrote about a wife “embracing” chastisement, about her assisting and cooperating with open hearted confession with her maintenance and discipline. You are right, we are not children and our man is not our parent, he is our husband. I was talking with a middle eastern woman recently and she shared with me some quote from their culture that a wife owes much MORE obedience to her husband than a child does to a parent. That made me think a bit and I do think this statement is correct. Because she is his partner, of her own volition, and in a much deeper relationship. And also as an adult she can fully understand and embrace the commands of God about her marriage, and the nuances of interaction between her husband and herself.

      I love too how you talk about even “looking forward” to being disciplined, and why not? It is a good thing. It does not mean we love pain, but it means we embrace beneficial pain as a holy thing for holy reasons. Nothing says we have to fuss or make it difficult for ourselves or for our spouse. We agree that chastisement is a good thing, why not look forward to being cleansed with that fire? I know that my chastisement is easiest to endure when I stop internally fighting the strokes and the pain, and lean into it with a receptive attitude towards the burning of each stroke coming into my heart as something I am to surrender to and submit to.

      I am not by almost any measure a submissive wife…yet. I started a blog and when I read over these posts I write that are drenched with stories of my wildness and rebellion I think that anyone who is reading them must think I am unhinged in the things I share about my behavior towards my husband, and how can I write about embracing submission and chastening? But it is BECAUSE I am not broken, and I am not surrendered, that I need to learn submission on my bottom. So I am trying, and at least now I can agree with the IDEA of submission, and run towards his discipline of me as something I truly need, for something as serious as being taught the extreme moral necessity and habits of mind that I need to be more consistently under my husband.

      As I wrote before, we don’t really do maintenance in my house, but yesterday we decided that every evening before bed I will kneel down to my husband on our bed, and offer my bottom in submission to remind myself of submission. And he can give me an easy two or three strokes just as a quick maintenance reminder, or do far worse if he found me difficult that evening. What a difference it makes knowing as I relate to him all evening, “Remember, you’ll be offering your bare bottom to me before bed, so be careful how you tread.”

      As much as you or I or any wife cooperates, it is still important that the husband finally is the authority. It is not just “becoming a better person” but also learning that for a Christian wife, a “better person” means a person under another’s authority. Much of the time my husband is amenable to me “turning myself in” as it were, requesting discipline in various ways, because he much prefers to have my willingness. I think cooperation does help him feel more secure too growing in his own sense of his authority, but only to a point. At other times I have little to no say in the matter, and I want and desperately need that too (– and I think He needs that as well.) I need him make it clear that I answer to him and to his will no matter what. And at times I need him to take me past the point of whatever discipline I think I need to what he alone thinks I need, yet that I also ought to cooperate with and embrace. Whether I am in a cooperative frame of mind or not, he will remind me of what I ought to be cooperating with.

      1. I’m not sure how that name got posted it was something from years ago I think and no, I don’t have a blog.

        I agree “better person” was not the best choice of words. Better able to serve and be her best self to the marriage and family unit. Which brings her the most heightened sense of joy.

        I had a shift of perspective on this whole concept of this type of marriage after talking to another couple who practice the weekly maintenance. I struggled terribly with this concept of “submission” and that my husband could just whip my bottom when he wanted to. I couldn’t get past it. Until I saw it as submitting to something bigger. So with this couple, the wife was the one who actively sought weekly maintenance out and in fact before they were married (later in life second marriages for both) it was discussed at length as a need for her and the couple married with this understanding. The idea was that that they would have this special time and work things through to be of one mind. And she embraces and sees benefit in the concept of submitting to having her buttocks receive his discipline just to reinforce respective roles and not just for a punishment during this session (or any other time).

        So for example the husband might have an issue with something she did, he raises it, explains his reasoning why it’s more important than she had realized, the wife sees the importance that she didn’t see before, then they are also of one mind that the way to learn, improve and move forward is for the episode to result and resolve itself in chastisement on her buttocks. It’s not like it’s punisher and punishee. She embraces it and wants it because in her submission to it and to him she is making something much bigger and Godly: this union. In being of one mind they are a strong bond. Anything less or short of that distances her from him. In the session as he explains his take on it they become of one mind and so she welcomes and embraces the chastisement and they do it together. With her providing her upturned bared bottom in submission and sacrifice, and with him providing the appropriate strokes of chastisement upon it there is a feeling of fulfillment and satisfaction and completion. It’s not that she is deciding her chastisement, but it sounds like they take the time to become of one mind so as to strengthen the bond. Through that lens, I could see myself then totally able to submit and embrace it. It’s like a sacred marriage ritual it seems of symbolism coupled with sacrifice. Sometimes the words are not enough to really find a way to understand the concept. It’s not like “oh I better not let my husband know I did x y z or I’ll get my ass whipped” like a child would think. The wife can’t think like that or she creates a separation between her and her husband, her marriage. I’m not sure if I was able to really articulate why this situation is different than others but it seems that way to me. I don’t know what happens if she doesn’t see it his way, but I would imagine she would pray on it until she did. In the meantime, she still wants and embraces the sting of chastisement because it’s her role to receive it anyway as a way to strengthen the bond. I hope this made sense.

        You say “And at times I need him to take me past the point of whatever discipline I think I need to what he alone thinks I need, yet that I also ought to cooperate with and embrace.” And I totally understand what you mean (although I would not use the word “cooperate” because that’s more like you are going along with it rather than a part of it) about needing him to go past what you think you need. If he stopped at where you thought was enough, there would be no space for him to be the one ultimately in charge of it. And during that time of those extra strokes or additional or heightened burning you endure on your bottom give you that opportunity to show your husband your trust and commitment in him, the holy bond you have and the process. That is such a powerful time for both of you. If you can keep your mind in the right place under the stress! But resistance even mentally I think will just cause more unnecessary pain. Enjoyed talking about this with you very much! Would welcome further chat with you too.


      2. Italian Husband Avatar
        Italian Husband

        I am very glad to read that the concept of wives’ cooperation in their own discipline, education and growth is shared by the wives themselves. Quite often (at least in italy), traditional marital discipline (now unfortunately either disappeared or hidden) was based on the husband’s unilateral command. I believe instead, just from our own marital experience, that the more the wife cooperates by talking and growing in awareness, the more effective the results. Of course, if I know I have to spank (or belt) her, we can talk all we want but eventually the chastisement will be there, but it is the way that counts. I read Heather’s blog with much interest, and this is what emerges: she is a very strong woman who has discovered within herself her own nature that needs guidance and correction. You can feel that they are in a phase of discovering the ways, the times, the ways (however, they also experience more than one spanking a day! it means they feel the deep need, especially her), and this is the best path in my experience. My wife also has a strong character, but precisely because of that she gradually discovered that she needs guidance and chastisement to be herself. Strong does not mean independent or arrogant; they are different things. I love (and have always loved) how not infrequently after a discussion or confrontation she herself is the one to take off her panties and hand me the strap. These are gestures that tell where we stand. Each couple has its own experience and the paths have to be customized (and modified as we go along) on the man and the woman, but also for example the educational experience of nupidity was shared and discovered progressively. Under my guidance and with his fundamental contribution. I never hoped for a passive submissive wife, but always for an active submissive wife because she learned it as right. God has given this to us, but not without difficulty. Maintenance, as I said in another speech, is also essential for us in this sense. Even at the age of 58.

        Translated with (free version)

      3. Tea – I love your heart and your throughts. As harrymetwho said, they are drenched with the experience and an attitude that testifies to love. And I would also love to connect with you more! ( )

        As I consider your words >> “It’s not like “oh I better not let my husband know I did x y z or I’ll get my ass whipped” like a child would think. The wife can’t think like that or she creates a separation between her and her husband, her marriage.<<

        That rings so very true, and if she is hiding her sin, hiding herself is necessarily a separation from him in her heart. I love how you put that. Thinking about that I can see that submission means unity, and connection, and whenever we aren't submitting, it is disconnection, it is independence and separation. And resisting discipline, either by hiding or running from it, is as you have pointed out, separation.

        But is avoiding or even not wanting a spanking always "resistance?" And of course we started discussing here maintenance spanking rather than punishment spanking, but it seems the conversation has taken us towards punishment. I'm considering Aron's punishment examples, where his wife is spanked while he is often saying something like (as he records himself saying), "You don't want to end up back here having this done again," and he warns his wife as a deterrent. She's not hiding herself or lying, but he wants her to "avoid" and "not want" to end up back there, in a righteous sort of way. Even her pleas to get out of it, "I'll be good, I won't do it again," are this mix of trying to erase the separation by coming back under his commands while desperately wanting the spanking to end. There are so many subtle paradoxes of emotion that somehow play themselves out instinctually in this kind of situation. And if she (or not to pick on her, but any of us wives) is rendered a child over the knee in some sense, is that not in some sense justified by the act of our own separation?

        So maybe there is a difference there between maintenance and punishment:
        Maintenance seems to be done to prevent disconnection. Punishment is an expression of a disconnection that has already happened and needs to be resolved. The pain of maintenance says, "We are connected, let this pain remind you of our connection." The pain of punishment says, "Feel your disconnection from me and don't let this ever happen again." And if a woman comes to her husband saying "I need maintenance" she is saying, "I am prone to this separation but I do not want it, so please hedge me in" so she is coming as a connected one. And if she comes to him saying, "I've done this wrong, and I deserve your tangible displeasure" she is already coming to her senses saying, "I will take the remedy for the separation I've already created, that I might be fully yours again." So she should want her discipline in either situation, while having the good sense that if she didn't come to her senses to seek it out but her husband wants to give it to her for his own reasons, to take it well. But either way, she then needs to be overtaken by what she doesn't want, to have what she should want: the experience of submission, which is the design of her connection to her man.

        I don't know if I'm doing justice to exploring this. I'm getting lost in trying to go after it. Forgive me, just trying to reconcile the very real "you don't want this" warning a husband tries to give with the "she should embrace it and want it for her good" sort of thing, and both somehow do go hand in hand.

        Italian Husband: Thank you for your kind words and for reading my sharing. Thanks for your encouragement too!

        I love this little community experience we're all having together from Aron's blog and glad he has created this place for all of us to ponder, learn, grow and confer with one another, guided by his experience and wisdom. Thank you again Aron.

        1. You’re welcome. I appreciate your contributions. I hope everyone manages to offer support to one another.

    3. harrymetwho Avatar

      Could anyone who isn’t deeply in love and fully embracing this lifestyle have written this humble, open, honestly considered piece; I think not. Thank you, mstttt for taking the time. This wonderful resource that Aron has created thrives and illuminates because of contributions such as this. Maintenance has been the core of our DD life. Although it is oft repeated that it is not for everyone, for those that are new, or those considering a different pathway/structure, within DD, the power of firm yet measured agreed maintenance should not be underestimated. Be it weekly, fortnightly, monthly or infrequent but consistent, the benefits of having a means with which both parties can demonstrate commitment without punishment are of immense value in a relationship.

  5. Hello!

    I have spent hours upon hours perusing your site, reading and re-reading, and supplementing with other sources on DD/CDD.

    I strayed from God for too long, but I have been blessed with a wonderful marriage for 6 years (together for 11), and today is the day I ask my husband to consider disciplining me for the negative attitudes and behaviours and habits I have somehow accrued along the way.

    I have a lot in my mind and heart that I feel guilty for, and I’m really looking forward to laying it all out for my husband to see. I crave his forgiveness for some things which have affected him, and a strong hand to help correct the error of my ways.

    I will be speaking with him today about it, and providing him with some resources that will help explain why I need this, and want this. I will also be providing him with the link to this blog; with every single entry I’ve read, I’ve found myself nodding in agreement at almost every point made, and see the logic and reasoning behind it all. I know in my heart this is what I need.

    I want to be a better wife.
    I want to be a better mother.
    I want to be a better daughter.

    Because I plan on admitting to several things (none are so serious on their own,but they have added up), I wonder about the best way to approach a first spanking. I will obviously follow my husband’s lead, though perhaps you have advice? Would it be better to submit for a first spanking for the first transgression going forward, or would it be better to have sort of an all-encompassing spanking to address all my behaviours as a whole, and then move forward from there?

    I really appreciate your thoughts on this.

    Thank you.

    1. That’s wonderful, Kay. Congratulations on bringing this to your husband. You are making a big and very important step. I believe you’ll find the journey ahead deeply rewarding, as well as challenging in ways perhaps you didn’t expect. Spanking brings greater peace to the home when done consistently and in love.

      As far as a first spanking, there’s no right or wrong way to approach it. He may simply spank you for the first serious infraction he sees. He may also spank as a means to get you out of your old bad habits, and into the new mindset of obedience, and different behavior. I don’t think there’s a need to go way back in the past for punishment, but there may be couples who do so simply to clear the air.

      A lot of how you move forward will depend on how cooperative you are with him. Do you learn to show him honor? Do you cease giving him resistance? Do you do your job as a godly and virtuous wife? Some women struggle with much resistance and first. Others learn more quickly. I appreciate that you know you need to be a better wife. That is a great desire to have, and with persistence you will become one.

      I hope our readers will join me in praying for you as you and your husband move forward. Please let us know how it goes.


      1. Thank you so much for your insight, Aron.

        I talked with my husband about all of it, and I provided him with an information package that took him a while to read through, but he finished it this morning, and told me he was on board with the idea.

        I then expanded on an event that happened 2 weeks ago that sort of snowballed in every way, and I told him that I think even though we didn’t have an agreement in place then, that I still deserved a punishment to help me correct the absolutely dangerous behaviour I exhibited.

        He agreed.

        It has been carried out, and I already feel loads better about… everything.

        I will trust his judgment, and I am so excited that he is taking initiative and leadership so soon after being approached with the idea.

        This seems so natural. I feel so happy that I was brave enough to bring this up with him, and I’m glad for the punishment he decided to give me.

        Thank you for including us in your prayers.

        1. Thank you for sharing the news, Kay. That’s great to hear. When man and wife both embrace discipline, its rewards come quickly. There is a natural cleansing for you, as well as a deep trust you can find in his strength. He will appreciate the ease he has in managing you and the softness of your soul. I’d expect your husband to continue to grow in his role as well. Blessings to you and your family.

    2. Kay, beautiful sister,

      Please let us know how things went!

      You sound so much like me! Back in August I found this blog, got so convicted, and sat down with my husband to repent for years of refusing his authority. (Postings then were under the name “Repentant.”) For him this all just came out of nowhere, for years he had a rebellious feminist on his hands and then one day suddenly got a [committed to growing in] obedient wife. It seems the Lord is really using Aron and his blog here for some amazingly life-changing effects. It was almost as drastic for me when I first got saved, that’s how much it turned my life and marriage around.

      Your husband may or may not have been immediately open to spanking you. Mine took a little while to warm up to the idea, but not too long. But in terms of how to spank you to inaugurate your new commitment to him and repentance from the past, I hope you find an amazing solution that is all about you and him. If he has ideas, let him take the lead. If he doesn’t, you will find a way to create a path forward together.

      We are two months along now, and have come up with some truly nutty ideas that have been so beautiful for us to walk through together. In the beginning we identified quite a few areas of resentment from the past, and in almost every argument there was a key area where I had refused to submit to my husband. Some of those things we revisited with spankings. Some of those things we made into rules for the future, and then he spanked the rules into me. But you do you ;). And by you, I mean, both of you, as one (with him as leader), making it up as you go along because that’s part of the beauty of it.

      I will eagerly join in with Aron in praying for you and your husband! And congratulations, Kay, for taking this huge step towards who you really are called to be!

      1. Italian Husband Avatar
        Italian Husband

        Good morning Key (I say good goorno because here in Italy it is early morning, by you, I think on the East Coast, the night has just begun). It is very good to hear that a wife at a certain point in her married life feels deep within herself the genetic, natural impulse to seek discipline, to feel the need for it in order to grow, to change her habits, to become aware of herself and her proper relationship with her husband. I completely agree with Heather, and my suggestion is to help your husband very much to make the same discovery within himself and to find together the best ways to put into practice what is right. A woman, just to be truly devoted, can and should help her husband in this too, in the early days especially, making him feel that being spanked by him (even very severely) is a gift he gives to her, a very great gift. This is an essential psychological aspect: I too in the early days was afraid of “hurting her,” but gradually I learned (we learned) to understand the real signs: the gestures, the look during and after punishment, the words. Some people think that a disciplinary chastisement ends with the administration of the strokes, but they are wrong. Beating is the last link in discipline, and the first in the next discipline, but it needs everything else. I remember (years ago now, and not a few, unfortunately) that some times I thought it was right not to give maintenance, but she, my wife, asked me to be chastised for maintenance precisely so as not to interrupt in any way the path we were on. For a man this signal is crucial, at least in our culture. And also, if I can tell our experience, after the strokes I had decided, to hear her asking me “please, 10 more.” Not because she was excited, but because her perception was that she needed more severity. I know that perhaps Aron sees his wife’s cooperation in this as less important, but I have never felt my role diminished because of this attitude of hers; quite the opposite, it has always given me more confidence that I am on the right track with her.
        I too look forward to reading about your progress, thank you!

        Translated with (free version)

      2. Thank you so much for the warm welcome, Heather, and for including us in your prayers.

        I approached him with the subject 2 days ago, and he took his time to read through a different resource first. The idea was that he have a better understanding of what I am aasking him to do before he agreed to anything.

        Well, he finished, we talked and talked and talked, and I confessed my feelings on a really serious matter that has been keeping me up at night for the past couple of weeks. He and I agreed that a late punishment was a good way to embrace this journey, and I am recovering from that punishment now.

        I am so, so happy I did the research, provided him with information, and answered his questions on it. We are both happy to be starting this.

        I am so excited to continue to learn, and obey, and be corrected when necessary for the sake of overall improvement in life, and in the eyes of God.

        1. Oh Kay :). That is so sweet that you were able to share such delicate heart things with your husband, that to receive discipline from him. It’s a new place of meeting with him, first to submit, then for him to have the courage and conviction to take you up on it, and then to meet in that way. Something you don’t hear every day: Congratulations on your first spanking! 🙂 But it is such a beautiful thing to be relieved of needing that, and I’m sure the men need their side of it too.

          Thank you Jesus for what you are doing for Kay and her husband, and for the fellowship we all share together in this image of you and your Bride, enacted into our lives.

          Kay — I hope we get to keep hearing from you and rejoicing in your journey with you!

          There’s also a group meeting on Telegram (see comments in Aron’s post “Men Connecting with Men” (or is it husbands?) but the Telegram group isn’t just for men. ) Or see the Wives Connecting with Wives for some FB groups. And anyone who comments here whose name is a blue link, you can click on it to see their blogs or info pages and connect with those folks (like me!) further. 🙂

  6. anonymous Avatar

    I have been debating on whether to comment since this post was made. I have read this blog for about a year, and we have been somewhat consistent as a HoH for the same amount of time after we struggled to get things going with DD for about 6 months (so about 18 months total). The reason it took us 6 months to fall into our consistent pattern? Maintenance. Maintenance was absolutely detrimental to our experience with DD. It was that simple, when we used even light maintenance I would get far worse behavior out of my wife than if we didn’t. It felt like I was setting her up for failure. So we stopped.

    Since then we have we have learned that we practice DD far differently than most of the people we read about online. If I give my wife a rule or command she says “okay” and does it. Disobedience, while it happens (and there are consequences), has been rare and spankings are pretty infrequent. We use a variety of non-spanking punishments most of the time, and save spanking for the couple of times things really go off the rails. Almost always its when I have to put my foot down about something; which again is rarely necessary for us.

    The reason I have been hesitant to comment is that our few connections with other DD people we made were, um, how to say this in a respectful way? I kept feeling pressured to punish for ever smaller, more persnickety, infractions. The absence of maintenance has not been met warmly by the people I have interacted with either. I mean this in the most respectful way possible to other commenters here, part of me suspects the people I was interacting with saw DD as a framework to express a paraphilia (which if that’s their jam fine; just admit it) and if they would always find *some* reason to spank even if it bordered on the ridiculous. We spent those first 6 months thinking we were “doing it wrong.”

    I’ve really appreciated this blog because it has articles like “spanking is not a lifestyle” and “signs you are doing discipline wrong” which talks about discipline decreasing over time. Its made me feel validated in some of these choices.

    I think the reason there isn’t a lot of blogs or written content about DD relationships where discipline is infrequent is probably simple: A post that goes “today hubs told me to do X from now on, so I did so without issue” probably isn’t all that interesting. But I suspect there are quite a few of us who do not have a need or desire to perform regular, scheduled, maintenance.

    1. Hello That’s very well put. I think it offers some honest insights into how some people view discipline wrongly, and even feel pressured to. I don’t spank all that often either. There definitely is a danger that a sense of obligation may lead a husband to spank, rather than a serious infraction. You sound like you have a well balanced grasp on dealing with punishment, and on what a marriage ought to be. I’m glad you appreciate the articles here. Blessings.

    2. Greetings Anonymous,
      I’ve been thinking about your comment since I read it a couple days ago. My husband doesn’t “generally” do maintenance either, although since starting this we probably do fall into your category of “punishing for small infractions.” Since starting this, I am punished generally on more days per week than I am not.

      So what comes to mind is this verse, from.God to David in Psalm 32:8-9,

      “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
      I will guide you with My eye.
      Do not be like the horse or like the mule,
      Which have no understanding,
      Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle,
      Else they will not come near you.”

      It sounds like you and your wife have a relationship that is more the “guiding with My eye” type of thing than the “horse or mule” type thing. Your wife obeys when you speak. If she doesn’t, she quickly gets back on track with a minimal amount of redirection. And this could be for gadzillions of reasons; it could be that you have a natural sort of commanding presence which inspires respect. It could be that your wife was brought up by amazing parents who instilled a grace and tenderness in her as well as values of respect and honor in her soul. She could be naturally a cooperative type of person. You could just be a stellar leader. Maybe it’s something else entirely. Maybe you both just have a huge conviction of the Lord’s roles for you and he’s given you a lot of grace in this area. But at any rate, if it isn’t broken, no need to fix it, yes?

      Now if I might use my situation as an example: My husband can certainly mean business and he knows who he is as a man, but he doesn’t often exude this on the surface, he’s often very quiet and reserved and doesn’t like to put himself forward nor demand anything from anyone. On the other hand, I grew up in some of the worst dysfunction you could possibly imagine, and as a result learned I had to take the lead constantly and fight for many things, if not be ruggedly independent, just to survive and to keep people in my family safe, while at the same time I never learned the discipline of any regular habits that would make me a good roommate, let alone a wife.

      So as much as we both know and accept our roles, it is not easy for either of us to change patterns of character overnight (more me than him.) We have some deeply connected elements of “guiding with the eye” that keep us going, but as sad as it is, in many aspects I’m admit I’m very much still a horse (or mule) and do VERY much better when he corrects everything quickly and strongly — every time he backs off and lets me off the hook, thus far I do the thing again shortly afterward (and feel pretty embarrassed and ridiculous about my own behavior.) And no, I’m not “bratting” to get punished, but without exploring this too deeply I’ll just say that right now we both see that strictness with quick consequences is not entirely, but predominantly, the only thing that keeps us both where need to be in our roles for the moment. I assume this might change with time.

      But all that to say, I think no one should be pressuring you and your wife to do discipline a certain way, or suggest that you’re somehow deficient if you don’t do discipline their way. You’re the head of your wife and your home, if anyone can assess what works and what needs to happen, it is you. I would only ask you don’t do the same thing in reverse to those of us who do need a rhythm of discipline for whatever reasons that look very different from you (or Aron’s) households. Or for whom discipline has a different “feel” to it (I embrace, desire, and ask for discipline. Does this mean I have a paraphalia? It could, but I prefer to think it is a signpost in my soul to the authority in my marriage who is meant to be over me and guide me, and which helps me subject myself to him and his rod. But YMMV.).

      I’m sure our rhythms will change with time, I don’t know what it will be like a year from now. But my husband and I just went a few days without discipline and then I earned myself some bit and bridle tonight. We both recognized after the fact that a lot actually had gotten weird between us in our short interim, and disciplining me tonight set everything straight again. Although I did write blog posts on days I obeyed and no discipline occurred, too 😉

      If I may share one other thought that might impact this topic: there’s this thing called “adult attachment style” that plays its hand in relationships. It starts in childhood; when children are well-cared for, they learn to trust their caregivers and are “securely attached.” They develop something called, “object permanence” which allows them to feel loved and secure even when their parents aren’t there, or are out of sight. And it is thought that this carries into adulthood and securely attached adults have a confidence and trust in one another without a lot of work once the relationship is established as good and safe.

      But kids who have volatile, unsafe, or neglectful situations don’t get that secure attachment, and they don’t develop as much “object permanence.” You can watch an insecurely attached child scream their heads off the minute their parents leave a room, and unlike a securely attached child, they don’t calm down quickly and get on with playing with the other kids. And when their parents return, they are frustrated and angry, and don’t know how to reconnect. They grow up to be adults with all sorts of issues in intimate relationships, as they don’t know how to rest in the connection of their spouse. (And if the spouse has issues too, look out.).

      I think, relative to marital discipline, a securely attached wife receives discipline and goes their way, holding on to the sense it imparted of what their husband wants, and whatever aftercare and restoration they received. That is “object permanence.” But an insecurely attached spouse may not hold on to that (or any) emotional interaction for as long, before their sense of what was imparted wears off. For someone like that (me) — keeping the fire stoked of dominance/headship and submission/consequences helps build that stability and security. Hopefully with consistency and stability that improves over time. I do believe people from messed up backgrounds can still make great spouses (I’m biased, of course), but I think it just takes a bit of a different learning curve.

      Anyway, thanks for reading. Thank you Aron for letting me share.

      1. Really Subtle, Dave :eyerollemoji: Avatar
        Really Subtle, Dave :eyerollemoji:

        Hi Heather,

        This is anonymous from up above but with an actual handle now. I think of us as “DD-subtle”as opposed to “DD-lite.” Its one tool we have used to build a successful marriage. And, for us, its a relatively small one. Its kind of always there in the background until circumstances bring it to the foreground.

        I confess, I was only able to give your comment a quick skim. But I didn’t want to leave you hanging until I get the time to read it further. I also want to spare the other commenters from me having to write a novel. So if I missed anything because I skimmed it, Sorry!

        Really quick though:
        1) I think its only a paraphelia if someone can only access their eroticism through the object of their paraphelia. So like shoes, or spankings, etc. Its not just being enthusiastic about those things, but that its the ONLY avenue to sexual release for them. (And again, if that’s their jam, good for them; I just want some truth in advertising).
        2) When I say “ever smaller, more persnickety, infractions” I glossed over the fact that the severity of the punishments for those smaller was also *growing*. At a certain point, I realized that the spanking was at the center of the advise I was getting. You know that scene in The Simpsons episode where they have towns people substitute teach during a teacher’s strike and the old man says “looking that the teacher? That’s a paddeling. Not looking at the teacher? That’s a paddeling too.” That’s where it was heading.
        3) I read Attached a few years ago. I liked it good bit, but when I started to look at the some of the other research around attachment theory I found that the book was a little too confident in how much of Attachment theory had been settled. A lot of it is still being shook out. Anyway, I also don’t like how stably attached people are treated like flawless ubermenches or something. The book carefully points out there are actually some pros and some cons to being anxiously or avoidantly attached. But they don’t give the stably attached people any cons at all. I liked the book over all but that part didn’t pass the smell test to me.
        4) I have been writing a “DD self-inventory” of sort for people considering it. Its just important questions that the couple should address before thinking about implementing it, something that goes beyond “DD is for me/not for me.” But more points them to where they might fall in the variety of DD relationships. I mean it’ll have some of the former but is mostly about the latter. Its just some thoughts in a notebook right now. I don’t know if it ever gets beyond that.

      2. Sure, there are women who have been well raised, and who basically accept what a marriage is about, who will not need frequent spankings. They respond well to commands, and to verbal correction. They rarely rise up. Other women, especially if they have had problems in their family growing up, or have been very bent by feminism, will often slip back into rebellion easily, and will itch to disrespect their husbands. They’ve nearly been trained to disrespect. They harbor no little anger. In those situations, some serous training, and more frequent spankings make sense, of course alongside other forms of guidance and love.

        There is fair room for variety in how spanking is implemented in marriage, but the overall trend in domestic discipline often seems to pain frequent spankings as important, so we have to note such pressure is unrealistic and harmful. Much of married life is simply responding to one another, with no needed discipline. That is to be praised and should be our example.

        Thanks for sharing your experience and your insights.

      3. Hi Eyerollemoji dude (LOL)

        I do tend to write novels for comments. Apologies all around for that.

        Your points:
        >>>>1) (And again, if that’s their jam, good for them; I just want some truth in advertising).

        It’s just that some of us, (like me and hubs) had to fight an uphill battle against the script that “marital discipline is either BDSM or abuse” playing out in our minds to even get started down this road, so I may be just a wee bit sensitive on that topic.

        >>>>2) You know that scene in The Simpsons episode [snip] “looking that the teacher? That’s a paddeling. Not looking at the teacher? That’s a paddeling too.”

        I actually *don’t* have such canonical knowledge of Simpson’s episodes…. but you explained well. But the capricious nature of that is a bit different than the topic started here which was more about frequency. Well-taken point though about anything leading to an inability to have a natural flow of relationship with a spouse. One’s wife walk should not be made to feel she is walking on eggshells around an unpleasable man, I hope not.

        >>>>>>3) (I read Attached a few years ago….. [snip] Anyway, I also don’t like how stably attached people are treated like flawless ubermenches or something.)

        I actually never heard of the book Attached either. Interesting. But you’re right, when people talk about adult attachment, it’s usually all “securely attached people, ra ra ra” and “insecurely attached people, boo hiss.” But I also know whatever else people take from all that, that I am insecurely attached, when I read about it, it just put words to what I live. I also don’t appreciate all the stigma piled on for insecurely attached people either, it’s not necessary.

        But I do recognize that it takes a while for emotional/relational realities to stick with me. That’s all I was trying to say. There are vast realities to our marriages not covered in the narrow focus of discipline in our relationships, that we each personally know of. I spent years asking my husband almost daily, “Do you love me?” not accusatory, not because he had let me down in any way, but just really needing daily reassurance, sometimes with tears streaming down my face. That’s what insecure attachment can look like. And since we started discipline, it was everyday for weeks, “So we’re really doing this? You’re really here with me in this place?” Again, not nagging but really having a hard time believing his heart was in it and that it wasn’t just some crazy thing I thought we were doing and we weren’t. But it was. It just takes a while to sink in. And it takes a while to sink in that if I disrespect him, I really do face his belt now (or something similar.)

        Whether or not securely attached people have some fatal flaw yet to be discovered is important but perhaps peripheral to the overall consideration of the possible effects of discipline in various attachment style situations. And maybe that’s all bunk anyway, sure. It just doesn’t seem like it from my insecure vantage-point.

        >>>>>4) (I have been writing a “DD self-inventory” of sort for people considering it. … I don’t know if it ever gets beyond that.)

        That sounds like it would be a great addition to the conversation. I would love to hear your thoughts on DD-subtle and DD-lite, as well as whatever other DD-versions you have identified. Maybe you could guest blog it here with Aron, or on my blog, or start your own blog — wherever it helps you get it out of that notebook and where it could benefit the rest of us. Please write it, I’d truly love to read it.

    3. Hi anon, I’m commenting late on your comment because I didn’t even read Aron’s post at first because we don’t practice maintenance either and so I thought Aron’s post would not be relatable.
      I’m so glad I eventually read it because we are very much in the same boat. Maintenance does not happen ever and punishment spanking rarely. I think in the last year I was spanked maybe three times. Maybe only even two. And I found that some comments seem to make it seem like maintenance is the only proper way to go.
      As for me, I married a man that it’s a simple pleasure to submit to. He is not iron-fisted in his leadership role with me or the children. He’s often in a jovial mood and is the type of man our children are anxious to see when he gets home. He is not angry or demanding, and doesn’t micromanage the work I do in the home or with the children, though as the family leader he certainly has the right to be. He tells me often what he loves about me and only uses spanking when he believes my virtue is on the brink of displeasing God. Such as gossiping, procrastinating to the point of laziness, or raising my voice in anger. He doesn’t believe unfolded laundry or dirty dishes make God angry (especially when I have six children under 11 to care for) and therefore it is not something he would ever spank for.
      I understand the idea behind maintenance, especially early in a DD marriage, but for me personally, I would not feel loved. I would not feel like my submission is appreciated. I would not feel like my virtues were even being noticed. I am glad it seems that work for others who are called by God to this type of relationship.

  7. rickmorganhoh Avatar

    I had stopped maintenance spanking a couple of years ago but I’ve had to start again. As you stated in your article I believe it helps remind her of her need to be submissive and of what behaviors I expect in the future. I spank her every Sunday night and it does help to get the week started off on the right foot. I can usually tell by the weekend that she will soon be in need of her weekly reminder. I’ve explained to her that if her behavior improves I will stop but for the foreseeable future I believe it’s necessary. My approach to maintenance is similar to punishment spankings in terms of the process, undress, kneel, wait, lecture, spanking, corner time, thanks and reconnecting. The difference is, shorter duration, less intensity and I only use my hand and not my belt. It is very effective with my wife but I like others don’t really want to have to use maintenence but at this point I don’t see another way. Thanks for the article.

    1. You’re welcome. Maintenance spanking can be extremely helpful, as in your situation. Some women need that regular reminder. I can understand not wanting to spend the time to do it during a busy week, but I am happy you are seeing the rewards. Time devoted to discipline usually pays off in the long run.

  8. elizaishis Avatar

    I recently came upon this blog site and am enjoying so many of the blogs and learning a lot as well. We are a couple that has mutually agreed on weekly maintenance. My husband was actually thinking of discontinuing them a while back but after we spoke about it I really encouraged him to continue the maintenance. I feel it keeps me more submissive and draws me even closer to my husband. I believe that since the punishment spankings don’t happen as often as they used to anymore it’s because the maintenance has been working as a good reminder to keep me in line.

  9. I have spent quite a bit of time reading this blog and the interactions between everyone. I found it in my search to understand myself and why I crave to be spanked. Spankings was a huge part of my childhood and feels like something is missing. Problem is I don’t feel I can share this need and desire with my husband. It’s disheartening, but until I can figure out how to deal with this I will continue to learn from all of you. At least now I don’t have to feel like I am crazy.

    1. aronhusband Avatar

      Hello Nikki, I am glad that you have found this website as well. It is very common for a woman to wish to be spanked. I have an article about asking your man to spank you, which may be helpful to you:
      Eventually, it will take opening up to your husband about your desire. He may be more open to the idea than you expect. Take care.

  10. Thank you for the link. I think he might be willing. It may be a pride issue that I am struggling with along with the fear of trusting him with this information.

  11. The comments on this thread have been most useful for me to read through. We did weekly maintenance spankings for the first year of marriage, discontinued for a while, and have recently returned to every week because I asked if we could resume them.

    As other women have noted, I too look forward to submitting to my husband for chastising and physical discipline. It is just one part of my submission but I don’t dread it. I signed up for this life and I don’t want spanking to be a three times a year event reserved only for my most egregious behaviour. Thankfully my husband felt similarly and saw value in resuming weekly maintenance.

    Maintenance was extremely useful for me early in marriage to get used to the practice of being spanked. I didn’t resent the frequency, I actually appreciated the routine and physical training component. A less severe weekly spanking was helpful for my mindset and I definitely missed it when we stopped.

    For us, maintenance is shorter and less formal than a punishment spanking. We discuss the highs and lows of the week, what he wants me to work on, and what I am seeking his guidance and help with. Generally OTK hand spanking to warm up, followed by a couple sets of ten to twenty swats with whatever implements he chooses.

    1. aronhusband Avatar

      I’m very glad the comments have been helpful to you. Thank you for explaining how maintenance works in your marriage, and for highlighting the differences between it and punishment spankings. I appreciate your dedicated attitude of submission to your husband.

Leave a Reply