There is someone who has been inspiring and encouraging me about the state of marriages. That someone is my dear readers on this site. That’s you. I have been regularly pleased to hear positive changes coming to marriage, as well as men and women who become open-minded and even passionate about applying headship to their home. Not everyone succeeds. Some have problems beyond their control. However, even those who have failed were trying to reach the mark, and that matters. There would be a sea change for the good if your righteous change in attitude also occurred among the majority in this society. You are doing the right thing.

In the over two and a half years I have been running Spank Your Wife, I have seen several couples get married. Praise God. These couples either had decided on discipline for their marriage, or were at least moving in that direction. While I did not see their weddings, I rejoiced with them in spirit, and thank God for bringing them together. Usually, having the right attitude — one that respects headship and submission among other things — will help us in finding a spouse, and moving quickly down that path. It also helps in finding another partner who is virtuous, and who is God fearing. Deciding on discipline before marriage helps avoid trouble later on. It avoids the difficulty in having to bring spanking into the marriage after years of accepting a different way, and letting problems go unaddressed. I feel very confident in the marriages I’ve seen come together, because they have a right foundation. Both man and wife accept, embrace, and feel passionate about their role in marriage.

I’ve also heard of the good behavioral changes in marriage, due to applying discipline, or applying it more consistently. Some of these fixes happen very quickly. Others happen in steps over time, with real setbacks which need to be overcome. A wife learns to be careful about her mouth. She learns much better to speak with respect to her husband. Wives are corrected for their irresponsibility as well, and quickly are rid of their laziness or procrastination. Wives who misused the household funds are held accountable, and need to defer to their head now. Spanking, as anyone who practices it will tell you, produces practical results in marriage.

It has been delightful to hear from several formerly feminist, and career minded women, who understood they needed their husband’s headship. I’ve had several women who would consider themselves strong willed and independent tell me they know they need their husband to rein in their behavior, and they subsequently turned to him for help. They now accept his authority over them, and receive spankings for their bad behavior. Mouthy women are getting spanked as we speak. Women who disregarded their husband as leader are now submitting to his decisions, asking him when they need permission, and being corrected when they break the rules. Women who lived for fashion and for fun are learning to dress modestly instead, and accept their husband’s rules about what entertainment, and which friends are good for them. These ladies took a step down from independence and from pride, stopped arguing, and learned to submit. That is a great victory. A woman’s mind often rebels against a husband’s authority, but her heart usually knows it’s right.

Likewise, I’ve seen husbands learn to lead their wives and discipline more consistently. Those who already had a formal headship took control more firmly, something their wives had been needing. A woman without firm leadership can feel lost. Husbands became clearer in their verbal commands. They learned to spank when it was earned, and not just once in a while. They went from giving milder, unfulfilling discipline, to delivering a fearsome spanking, which cleanses the soul. They established rules in the home, started making sure to lead regular Bible study, and even brought a higher standard for their children as well. Their wives learned to heed their words. They learned they can trust in their man to lead, and that he is watching over them. Essentially men stepped up to their role and started living with the authority they have.

Some of you have also managed to bring spanking into your marriage after years of soft leadership, or even egalitarianism. You got the courage — and it does take courage — to have that talk with your spouse, and talk about why leadership and discipline is needed. Usually that was a wife who asked her husband to lead, and with patience over time, found he took up the role, and began acting as her head. Sometimes it was a man, who saw the ongoing problems in his wife, saw how appropriate discipline would be in that situation, and presented his wife with the solution. He began spanking her, and was rewarded with a changed woman. Bringing up the topic, whether during the marriage, or before it, is never easy. To make it work after years of marriage is especially challenging, and I am very happy for those who have. These are not fantasy stories, my friends. They are real lives turned around.

Another great story I love to hear is of those wives that learned to serve their man sexually after he took charge. It is extremely common that sexual intimacy is inspired by leadership and discipline. So too is it common that a woman learns to enjoy serving her man in bed. This service can be deeply delightful for a woman. Barriers that existed before get broken down. A wife who never liked doing something now does it regularly, and often loves it. As if it were a rule of nature, spanking inspires many women toward sexual submission. Men learn quickly to take charge of their women in bed as they do elsewhere. Husbands who rarely got it before, have their women going down on them frequently now. Any barriers to intimacy, or to sexual service, have been blown down, so to speak. There is power, passion, and the right order in the marriage bed. Some couples went from a complete lack of affection, to impassioned intimacy.

The women I’ve heard from who are now being spanked are pleased with the rewards, despite the fact there really are hurdles to get past in the early stages. Even if they still have some prideful resistance. They find the fruit far more important than the passing pain. They have deeper closeness with their husbands now. They feel safe with him making the decisions, instead of them. They feel cared for. They experience greater passion towards their man. They find they really respect him for the first time now that he’s in command. Those feelings are what a woman longs for. She cherishes them. It’s not at all what secular, worldly attitudes will provide, but it is what the right order from God provides. It fulfills the needs of both men and women. It provides practical solutions, fruitfulness, and peace inside.

I’ve also seen a few couples fail to overcome the challenges that come with headship. I’ve seen a few suffer from large, ongoing problems in their marriages. Some women are still waiting for their husbands to respond to their pleading for him to lead. Or to lead more firmly. One woman who desired spanking in her marriage is finding being disciplined very hard, and feels a lack of connection after she is spanked, but she continues to move forward. A few have still be too shy to introduce the subject to their husbands or wives. They wait for the right moment, and just can’t find it. I don’t consider any of these struggles a real loss, and I know that with the right steps, and with perseverance, nearly anyone can reach the goals of discipline. No special skills are required.

I’ve sadly heard of two cases in which a couple separated. One was a result of many years of various marital problems boiling over, with destruction coming from both parties. Another was a result of a woman who returned to her previous rebelliousness, and rejected her man’s decisions for their home, and the new more godly lifestyle they would have. Previous problems could not be contained or resolved. This kind of ending is dubious testimony of the fruit that comes with accepting modern western values. Those values are corrosive to marriage on many levels. God can heal either of these wounds, and I pray that He will. Usually if you see failure it is because of one of two things: a gross misuse of authority, or an inability to get rid of worldly values and live by different ones. The harmony that marriage is meant to be cannot function, and a few people choose to sever it. However, reconciliation is always the aim with a marriage, as long as it is possible. Forgiveness of your spouse is mandatory.

The large number of successes we’ve experienced as a community confirm what you and I can both know: Headship, submission, and discipline is in conformity with our natures. It fits how we are made as men and women. It fits with the paths God calls us to walk. It can be successfully achieved by anyone, as long as you have patience and are prepared to deal with passing obstacles. It produces fruit — both from the leadership being applied, and from the spankings which direct a woman. There is quite immediate, as well as long-term change for the good. I want all my readers and visitors to know that. It does not take special skills to do, and its difficulties do not amount to incredible hardship. Just follow in the path God has given us, and enjoy the peace and closeness it provides. Let the old life fade away, and embrace the new.

Congratulations to Kenya and South Africa, two African nations which appeared a number of times in our top ten visitors recently. I’d love to hear more from our African friends in the comments section. Wife spanking is still very common in large parts of Africa, from what I’ve read. It can be found among Muslims, Christians, and Animists — both in big cities, and in small villages. Some of the cultural differences in how they approach spanking are interesting, and we could learn from them.


23 responses to “YOU”

  1. Thank you for providing this site. It is a great resource for men wanting to lead their homes and for women learning to be submissive wives.

    1. You’re welcome. I’m very glad you find it helpful.

  2. margretmorgan65 Avatar

    I’d say it was perfect timing when Margret happened to find your site. She had really gotten out of hand and finding this site not only brought it to a head but helped me navigate through this tough time. I thought I knew everything I needed to know about leading in my home. With my 1st wife it was easy. She was raised In this kind of home. But after she passed and I married Margret, who is, as you referred to, a strong willed woman, I realized I had a lot to learn. She has challenged me over and over again. Reading your articles and the many comments have helped me so much. She is definately the kind of woman who needs the constant reminder that comes from maintenance spankings. Something I never did with my first wife. We’ve made a lot of progress but there is still a ways to go. She did admit to me recently that she knows she needs a firm hand to help her stay in line and not fall back into her old habits and way of thinking and behaving from her past. I think that’s a great breakthrough. I’m still learning but determined. Thanks for the guidance.

    1. You’re welcome. I am very happy the articles have been a useful resource to you. I have also benefited from reading about what other spanking husbands do, even though I’ve given spankings for years, and am comfortable leading my home. Guidance and encouragement from other men is always good.

      Some women certainly need more frequent, and firmer correction to overcome their bad attitudes. Getting a wife past that is something nearly any husband can accomplish with persistence. It brings wonderful peace to the home.

  3. Aron you scared me…….when I started reading I thought this was going to be a “farewell” post! 😳. Thank you for this ministry you have taken on. My husband has now started to read this site and we have grown in our CDD marriage in the past few months. God bless you and your family.🙏❤


    1. Thank you Nicole. I am very honored it has been helpful to you and your husband. Even if I run out of article ideas, I would not take down the website, and would continue to comment and to counsel those who requested it. Blessings to you and your family.

  4. Hello, blessings to you and thank you for creating this blog. I have read and reflected on many posts. I am in a predicament that I have prayed about and would like some advice on. As background, I just gave birth to a beautifully healthy child 5 days ago. I have been home from the hospital 2 nights.

    Firstly, I have never been particularly blessed in bust size throughout my life. During my pregnancy, my breasts changed and grew, as is typcial. My husband delighted in this and has required me to be topless at home since I was about 3 months pregnant. I am still to be topless when home now, and I don’t mind. I am happy that my body pleases my husband. Part of predicament is that my husband strongly enjoys my breasts when they are engorged. Apologizes if that is graphic. He often does not allow me to breastfeed until my breasts are extremely heavy and painful. He also has taken to touching them in ways that cause me pain because of the engorgement. He is often very rough. Eventually he will allow me to feed the baby if they are leaking, and I would like to add that my baby does not go hungry because I also pump breast milk. I use the pumped milk if I am not yet allowed to breastfeed. I have gently let him know it is painful to wait and to be roughly touched, but he has rightly pointed out that my body is his to lord over and enjoy. I have prayed that God will help me overcome my dislike of this. I feel very guilty that I come to him reluctantly when he asks me to.
    Secondly, since last night he has required me to undress fully and has checked me internally for tightness and integrity, as he puts it. I have not resister him but I have meekly mentioned it is very painful. I have not yet healed. I have also mentioned what the doctor told me about healing instructions and waiting time. He has told me that he knows my body best and has informed me that he thinks I will be ready to resume marital relations by the end of the week. I am very anxious and have been praying for guidance. I am selfishly hoping he changes his mind.
    Lastly, he also informed me that maintenance spankings will resume on day 7 with the normal severity. He informed me I am also due for a punishment this week for speaking to him disrespectfully during labor. Though I don’t remember doing so because of the pain, I obviously believe him. I tried to tell him I did not mean to be disrespectful but he told me my submissiveness should be so absolute that even when in great pain it should be automatic for me to show deference. I do not disagree and am accepting of my punishment but wish he would wait until I have healed a little more or would convert the punishment to a non-physical one. He has told me not to ask or bring it up again.

    Sorry for the lengthy post. I have prayed daily on these matters. I am not sure what to do. I trust his headship and feel God is testing me through fear, but I also do not want to disrupt my bodily healing. I feel he is not open to me bringing up these matters again and I wonder if it would be a betrayal to ask our pastor to speak to him. I fear that I am hormonal and not thinking clearly. I am trying desperately to put his needs first, as is God’s will.

    Please advise if you can.

    1. Hello Jessica, Thank you for writing me. Congratulations on the birth of your baby. God be praised. I’m very glad this website has been helpful to you in marriage.

      I do see that you would be uncomfortable with a few of the things your husband is doing. While he does have a right to your body, he also has a responsibility to protect you, and care for what is best for you. If he is causing you unnecessary pain, or even possibly risking your health, I would advise him to take more care in how he treats you body. This is especially true since you are recovering from giving birth.

      It is often helpful for a man to have guidance from another man. However, privacy needs to be respected, and it ought to be a man who understands what marriage is about, and is not against discipline in marriage. I think some amount of guidance would be good, but I don’t know if going to the pastor would maintain privacy in sensitive matters like these. I would be happy to discuss it with him, if you don’t think he will listen to you.

      You can also seek to gently explain your feelings on the matter, and why you would like him to be considerate of you. Your submission is a wonderful gift to him, but it is not there for him to entertain himself by having you do irrational, or harmful behavior.

      I hope things get better for you. Feel free to write me at my email.


    2. Jessica, I am praying that your husband will at least speak with Aron. 🙏❤

    3. Jessica congratulations on the birth of your precious new baby! What an exciting time and what joy it is in bonding with your little new one.

      You are hormonal, but that does not mean that you are not thinking clearly. It is perfectly normal for you to be hormonal, and you must also watch that you don’t become depressed during this delicate time. I am an ex-feminist and right now I would love to come out of my submission and tell you that you do not deserve to be treated this way by your husband. But I will try to stay in my place.

      I have never given birth, but from what relatives I have who have given birth they told me the one complaint they have is that their breasts are so sore and hurt because of the build-up of milk. I can understand how distressing it is to you to have your husband not respect the fact that you are in pain and your need to be treated tenderly during this time.

      I hope and pray to God that when he checked you internally that he used a pair of latex gloves. You have an open wound that could get infected easily and cause you major problems. It must have hurt you also with him doing that to you. I feel so badly for you. As for having intercourse so soon and not fully healed that is also going to hurt and your wound is still raw. It can also impregnate you so soon after giving birth as your body is still healing internally. God gave us doctors and your doctor knows what he is talking about when guiding you regarding your healing time.

      I am praying for you but most importantly praying that your husband comes to his senses. I am all for submission, but when it goes over into deliberately hurting you in ways that are not normal, that is another matter altogether.

      I am truly disturbed by your husband’s actions and lack of concern for your wellbeing. You have every right to feel the way that you do, and his behavior towards you is not normal.

      I am so sad; you just gave him such a precious gift and he should be doing everything in his power to show you that he cares for you and loves you. And that he will try to make your life easier during this time. You also don’t deserve a spanking for lashing out during delivery, my God, here is my feminism coming out, could you imagine a man with his legs apart delivering an 8-pound baby from his insides, I can’t. I could really go off on that but will try to stay in my lane.

      I don’t think God would be very happy with him right now. I also don’t think that God meant this to be the way a man treats his wife. To get respect you must give it. Sometimes when reading something like this, it makes me doubt whether this is the right lifestyle to be living for me.

      I know my comment may get me some ire from others, but frankly I don’t give……….

      I will keep you in my prayers.

    4. Jessica,
      It is one thing (and a delightful thing) for your husband to enjoy the changes in your body due to pregnancy, but it sounds like things have crossed some line where he is fetishizing your pregnancy body. You shouldn’t have to give your baby pumped milk when your breasts are filled and ready to give milk to your baby, this disrupts the normal rhythm of breastfeeding and bonding for you and is not natural. Also your husband is not a midwife or doctor I assume, so he is stepping outside his expertise to say he knows your body better than they do. Also, labor is one of the most painful times in a woman’s life, I feel like something is wrong that he would want to punish you for anything that happened during labor. I don’t believe being a submissive wife means you need to allow someone to harm you in ways that are undeserved and unnatural. I do pray with these other ladies that your husband will speak to Aron. If he won’t speak to Aron, then as much as it is not ideal to speak to your pastor, it may be the only thing left to do (and will take a lot of courage) because this sounds very unhealthy. I am sorry you are going through this.

    5. Jessica,

      As a mom of 5 and currently pregnant with number 6, currently on pelvic rest due to placenta prévia, I find what your husband is doing to be completely out of line. You literally have an open wound inside of your uterus the size of a dinner plate. The risk of infection is incredibly high during these early weeks postpartum and if your husband cared at all about your well being he would be taking your health very seriously. Unless he wants you to be sent back to the hospital and your healing to be prolonged. I also believe he is completely fetishizing your postpartum body and using you for his own personal pleasure and this isn’t in line with a healthy Christian marriage at all. No mama should ever ‘need permission’ to feed her newborn baby. To me, that is controlling and abusive. I also would ask he reconsider a punishment for something said during labor. That process wasn’t about him at all, it was about you and getting baby here healthy and happy and you shouldn’t be punished for anything during that time. Your whole post is sending up all of the red flags and honestly I would be careful. I appreciate your desire to submit to him which shows you are dutifully holding up your end of the marriage but he is crossing many lines, taking advantage and is putting his own pleasure above your well being which isn’t healthy or okay. I’m sorry you are being treated in such a way.

  5. Caleb Giese Avatar
    Caleb Giese

    What is your policy on women spanking other women? For example, I have always thought it was perfectly ok for the female leader of a womens Bible study at a college to spank the other girls when it’s deemed neccesary, so long as the other girls agree to it. I am also all for it if 2 female Christians are living together in some apartment as roommates, and they have an agreement that the more mature one will sometimes spank the less mature one.

    I would really love to know how you feel about those kind of scenarios. Again, my scenarios presume consent. Actually, Id really love if you did a full on post about this

    1. Hello Caleb, Thanks for your question. I do not write about spanking apart from marriage, except to mention it in passing. I believe corporal punishment is appropriate in a variety of other vertical relationships, including punishing children, students, and citizens who commit certain crimes.

      I do not think it is safe to bring into ordinary friendships, because ordinary friendships are not so ordered, or so vertical, even if one person is more experienced than another. Spanking involves a great deal of humbling, is often sexually arousing to people, and involves great trust. I don’t see ordinary friendships as a safe or appropriate place for that. The person who might benefit from a spanking will need to benefit in the context of certain structured vertical relationships.

      As far as spanking women within a women’s fellowship, it seems unnecessary. Nearly all of the time those women will have either husbands or fathers to take care of their punishments. It would add unnecessary risk and intensity to bring spanking into being just sisters in Christ.

      I hope that all makes sense to you. Blessings.

  6. Hello Aron!

    I am very happy to have found this site and heard the stories of you and your readers. I aspire to be in a godly relationship such as yours, and am currently working on a college degree so that I may have the means to support a wife and kids someday. I was hoping you could help me work through some of the obstacles I am facing.

    College has been very hard for me. Every semester, the load is more than I can carry. Still, I usually manage to (more or less) reach my goals, but at the cost of my health and, quite frankly, miserable levels of stress. Over the years, I think I have become a worse person for it.

    Time and again, I’ve been told to “tough it out” and finish my last few semesters; that it’ll all be worth it someday. But I believe it’s time to be honest with myself. I never wanted a career. All I want is to take the energy I would’ve spent hating my life and doubting myself, and instsd use it to love someone more than I can even put into words.

    I would surmise that you’ve been through a similar journey as I; your excellent writing skills are indicative of a college education. I would be interested in what advice you would offer someone like me–whether I should just keep pushing through college, or give up all this and try to become a stay-at-home dad.

    Blessings to you,

    1. Hello Eddie, Thanks for visiting my website, and for your comment. Your role as a man will be to provide for the household. That doesn’t necessarily mean you need a college education, but some training that will be useful for future employment will help. There’s always the possibility you can find success in a field without much training, but this is rare. Opening your own business is an option too.

      While society in the past generally respected that the man is the provider, there have always been women who attained wealth, and there have always been men who lived off their wealth. However, this is wrong, unless a man is seriously disabled. The Bible says that one who does not care for his own is worse than the heathen, and in the context of marriage, it is the man who need to provide. The importance of that job is worth going through difficult schooling for, and is worth the hard work.

      If you are feeling burnt out, or overwhelmed, you might seriously consider a short sabbatical. It may help you refresh, and also give you time to get a better view on your future. In Israel, a Sabbatical year was mandated for the land to rest, and agricultural work, and other tasks related to it would have stopped. God mandated a further year after seven Sabbaticals called the Jubilee year, which similarly involved rest of the land and religious observance. The Sabbath day itself was viewed as weird and impractical to many pagan societies, but one day in seven was a mandated day of rest for everyone.

      Acquiring as much stuff as possible is not our ultimate goal. Work is not our ultimate goal. Even if we want to use the fruits of our work for good purposes, that does not always mean that more is better. Sometimes a modest life is far better than a wealthy one. God clearly teaches mankind to cut back on his work, and his acquisition of wealth, and we learn important lessons from this. Your own rest, in studies or in labor, also can be important to you. Our life is ultimately for the glory of God, and our success ultimately comes down to God, and not to ourselves. Our time in life needs to leave room for simple things like rest, worship, ministry, and glorifying God with activities that do not increase our possessions. Rest might benefit your situation.

      I do have a college education. However, I did plenty of reading and writing, and wrote much like this before I went to college. It’s important to remember that no one really needs a college education, and many people are successful without one. The Amish are a great example, although it helps that they have the teamwork they do. Learning a trade is a good alternative, and trade schools may not have as much indoctrination, hedonism, or distractions as college usually does.

      I believe you can make a fine husband and father one day. I hope you keep it in your sights for the not too distant future. You have time though, and can change course if you need to. Feel free to write to my e-mail as well.


    2. Hi Eddie
      I think I can speak for most women (since I am one). I think traditional Christian women do not and will not respect a man that will not provide for his wife/family. Respect is very very important in a marriage that involves a husband disciplining his wife. Doing the hard things in life will build your manly character and confidence. It is attractive to women, we instinctively see something in a hard working man willing to do the hard things, a man that can and will protect and provide which is important to wives.
      It worries me that you think it is ok to be a “stay at home Dad”! Please trust me. It is not ok, it is not good, it is not what God wants for husbands. I am glad you reached out to Larry, take his advice.
      Good luck. Keep us updated on your progress.


    3. Hi Eddie,
      I went to college and it was yes, pretty stressful. But I was also dealing with depression while in school and this added to the whole flavor of stress. Do you think maybe the difficulties you are having are not just college but maybe trace to some other issues? In my case, God held me through the whole thing, and I learned a lot about leaning on Him to get through it all, learning to seek him and cry out to Him at all times, and so many times I saw Him do crazy things to keep me afloat. Your situation is not easy but, trials in life can be amazing opportunities to grow in your character and in depth in your relationship with God; and these lessons are pillars in your soul that you will return to the rest of your life as you brave the difficulties of life and marriage.

      Also you may be putting a lot of pressure on yourself but it OK in most majors not to get perfect grades, you are human and it’s ok to get less than an “A” at times. It is in college where I learned some deep lessons about God’s love for me not being based on performance and how He saw me was instead all about His grace; that He didn’t measure me by how good my grades were but that He paid for me with His blood which was worth far more.

      Now that I have my college degree though, I am able to work from home. I had to work outside my home at first (and for Aron’s sensibilities I’ll mention I was still single) but after building some experience I am now able to work online. So, if you want to work from home, it is possible that getting your degree might be a good path towards that.

      Are you in a major though that you enjoy? Have you sought the Lord about the right fit? Is your major something with opportunities you would like to do after you graduate? Maybe if you speak to a career advisor there you could find a more suitable major for your personality? Maybe you do need a sabbatical as Aron was talking about — various ministries have great programs for young adults who want to spend some time seeking God and doing mission work and I know a lot of people even meet their spouses there.

      You’ve already invested a lot of time and money into college. In general it is wise to finish the course; don’t let anxiety or depression make decisions for you if that’s what is going on. Is there a college Christian ministry where you can get some support and strength? My Christian friends in college are still my friends today. College is also an amazing mission field, if you join hands with other believers you can see the Kingdom of God come to many people as you reach out to them together, which also makes the college years much more filled with meaning and joy in community with other believers.

  7. Darcy NH. Avatar

    Hello Aron. I am a great reader of your blog and have learned so much about my calling as a submissive wife since I have been reading it. I was raised in a Christ-centered house where a woman’s submission to her husband and providing him with children was her greatest calling. I am pleased to say that my husband is a strong leader a Godly man and a devoted father to our six (so far) children.
    Because I was raised to believe that God is the ONLY one who can decide how many children a couple can have, I was always taught that oral sex is sinful. My husband helped me understand that as long as he doesn’t complete until he is inside of me, that it is not sinful for me to perform oral sex on him. However now he is asking to complete in my mouth, and I have prayed and prayed over it and I feel the Lord would disapprove. I am only twenty nine years old, and am sure to be pregnant again. All six of our children are under the age of ten and I am easy to be pregnant. Do you think it would be sinful for me to deny this to my husband? I am thinking of only doing it once I am again pregnant because then his seed would not be wasted.
    I am truly torn on this one. Obedience to the Lord should come first. However, I try to obey the Lord by obeying my husband and I can not decide if what he is asking is Godly. I feel as though I have no one to turn to for answers to this situation.
    Many blessings to you and your family.

    1. Hello Darcy, I’m very glad you’ve been able to learn from my blog. Very happy to have you as a reader. That’s a wonderful upbringing to have, and it must have helped you in being a godly wife. It sounds like you are committed to serving your husband in the home. Thank God.

      I believe you need to follow your husband in how he desires you please him in bed. If he wants to enjoy your mouth until he finishes, give him that. While I know many Christians find it wrong to give head until completion, I see no clear biblical teaching like that. I also see that a man may enjoy his wife’s body in marriage, and that part of marriage is to abate human lust, rather than let it run wild outside of marriage. Oral sex to completion may not be fulfilling the full purpose of the act, but neither does sex while infertile, or sex while pregnant, and it does fulfill multiple other levels of intimacy and love. In short, without a biblical teaching against it, you do not need to choose between obeying God and man. Just obey your husband.

      That’s not to say you should avoid having children. It may be simply that you use it now and again, or during periods when you cannot have sex for some reason. You then have as many children as God allows you otherwise. It does not rule out continually making love, and allowing God to give you new life.

      I hope that helps you see the situation better. I appreciate your desire to follow your husband, and I know you must make him very happy. May God bless you with many children.

    2. Hi Darcy 🙂
      I’m pretty sure there is more opinions and ways of life, but I would like to show you how does it work in our marriage.
      I do please my husband oral any time he expect that, the only difference is the place he can finish. During my open fertility window he finish only inside of me, after ovulation he can choose where he wants to finish. For us it’s the best compromise between not wasting his seed, and his desire to finish in other places.
      I think oral is absolutely normal and beautiful thing, and absolutely not sinful in a marriage if you use it in a good way.

      1. Darcy NH Avatar

        Kinga (and Aron)
        Bless you both so much for taking the time to answer my comment! They both have certainly eased my mind on this issue. After reading these two amazing and thoughtful comments and with much prayer, I decided that you and Aron are correct and that this is something I can submit to my husband on without compromising my relationship with God.
        I have a very wonderful husband who knew of my hesitance on this topic and gave me space to ponder and pray over it, and he was joyful over the fact that I have happily agreed on it, with the agreement that it is not something we will do while I am ovulating.
        It is funny that I wanted someone to talk to about this, and I felt as though I couldn’t go to my closest female friend who is also my sister-in-law because I did feel embarrassed to ask about it. But God put me in a place to read this blog and connect with people who could give such good Christian counsel.

        1. Thank you, Darcy. I’m very happy to hear about your decision. I’m glad the this blog was able to let you hear different voices on the topic. Bless you and your family.

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