Taste of the Cane

Let me introduce another guest article by Mark, who is writing today about use of the cane in discipline. As with other guest articles, I’ve asked him to write on subjects I do not have hands-on experience with. I have never used the cane for discipline and he has. By all accounts of spanked wives, the cane is the harshest of instruments commonly used. It is fierce, its pain lasting, and its fleshy damage heavier than others. I don’t use it personally by the view that it borders closely on danger, but I do endorse its use if you can handle it properly. I hope you find this article helpful in understanding when and how to use the cane. Your wife will be penitent when she faces it.

I believe every husband should have an implement that he reserves for the most extreme situations;  in my house that implement is the cane.  I have only used the cane maybe 5 or 6 times over several years and each time it was for a different behavior.  I can assure you my wife has never repeated something she has been caned for.  

To be fair to my wife,  I will only share one example to demonstrate the severity of her offense.  About three years ago,  there was a case where a couple had died because of carbon monoxide poisoning.  It was very tragic and I asked my wife to purchase a new detector.  I reminded her a few times and she said she would. Still not seeing a new one,  she said she had purchased one and changed it already.  She knew I was annoyed and she was trying to avoid a spanking for negligence.  Instead when I found out she had lied,  she earned two spankings; one for negligence and one for dishonesty.  I decided to punish for the two together with a very hard spanking and caning.

A caning session begins very similarly to any spanking.  Once my wife admitted to lying,  I ordered her to strip and stand in the corner.  I was quite angry and left her in the corner for quite a while.  Once I had cooled down,  I put her over my knee and gave her a hard hand spanking until she was very pink. At this point in a session, I usually switch to a paddle or more commonly a nice leather strap to finish the job.  Instead I positioned her the same way I would strap her and gave her 6 strokes of the cane.  She was pretty quiet other than sobbing. 

In between strokes, I lectured her and made her answer several questions.  After the sixth stroke,  I sent her back to the corner.  Because the cane is so painful,  I use cornertime generously with it.  It gives her time to reflect,  feel shame and prepare for the next set of strokes.  I repeatedly gave her two more sets of 6 strokes with 15 minutes of cornertime between each.  This is DEFINITELY the maximum amount of strokes I would give, no more than 20.  My wife was extremely sore for a solid day after this punishment.  

When I was 12,  my family moved to the UK for almost two years and I attended a boys school which was very strict.  I think I was caned at least a half dozen times for various reasons and I can assure you it was an extremely unpleasant experience.  Having said that,  if your wife commits an offense that you feel is very inappropriate,  the cane will teach her a very memorable lesson.

Think to yourself,  did anyone ever show you how to spank with your hand, paddle or even strap?  Of course not.  I pretty much learned how to apply the cane from experience.  The cane makes an unforgettable sound on the air before it strikes.  I would definitely start slow and then see what effect it has.  My wife has always been spanked pretty hard with my hand before her caning, so I make the first few strokes relatively light and increase in intensity gradually.  The final six strokes are very hard and she will remember the lesson you are trying to teach.  After the last session,  I strongly recommend making her stand in the corner and display her behind to you.  She has sinned greatly and has paid for these sins and must show you what has happened to her very sore, red behind.  Expect many tears at this point for quite a while.  She will need time to process everything and to calm down.  The final cornertime is extremely important and should be fairly lengthy in time to accomplish all goals.  At the conclusion,  you may request an act of sexual submission.

Again, I cannot caution you enough with the use of the cane.  Use it sparingly and effectively and you have taught your wife a lesson.  My wife has never repeated a behavior that I have caned her for and it’s been almost a year since her last caning.  I keep the cane hanging in our bedroom closet next to the umbrellas.  My wife sees it almost every day and I’m sure would love to sell it at a garage sale.  

Some husbands will try to provide comfort after a caning by applying lotion to their wife’s behind, which is completely an individual decision.  I allow my wife to experience the burning feeling throughout her final cornertime where she has her hands on her head to prevent rubbing.   Before bed, I will apply lotion and by then she has had plenty of time to experience the results of her actions.  
Caning Technique:
For obvious reasons, a caning cannot be given over the knee.  Personally, I have administered it two different ways and both were very effective.  I have had my wife bent over the edge of the couch with her behind slightly protruding.   I’ve also had her hold on to the chair I sit on when she’s been over my knee.  Both positions allow you full view of her behind and allow to strike exactly where you want the cane to land.   With just about any other spanking, I usually will strike the upper part of my wife’s thighs to make the spanking more painful and meaningful. whether I’m using a paddle, belt, hand or a strap.  I strongly do not recommend this for a caning.  Work solely on striking your wife’s behind.  For safety reasons you don’t want to venture beyond that.  She will be a nice shade of red and well marked with stripes,  just from working on her behind.

The beauty of the cane is it requires very little effort from us.  It’s quite light and even using only a quarter to half of a normal swat you will be providing your wife with a lesson to remembered.  My wife absolutely despised the cane and makes quite a bit of noise during her caning.   Uncontrollable sobbing and begging always occur, but don’t let them interfere with the correction.  She has earned the caning and must learn from it.  The same way you follow through with a paddling or strapping you must with the caning of your wife.  Aim at the behind only,  administer sharp, but light strokes and you’ll be doing her a favor. Reserve it for the most serious offenses and remind your wife of its availability at any time.  Some husbands require the wife to count strokes, I don’t.  I do recommend a longer cornertime after a caning, she will need the time to reflect and regain composure.  Because of the seriousness of her offense, she needs to display her behind to you to feel remorse and shame.  This cornertime is intense and you must supervise your wife very closely to ensure she benefits from it.

In our house a hand spanking is a spanking given for breaking a rule and from there it progresses depending on the severity. My favorite implement is the definitely the strap, which is what I use the most. See what works best for you and what teaches your wife the most successfully. Just remember, make it a spanking she won’t want again!   


42 responses to “Taste of the Cane”

  1. I too use the cane for severe offenses that my wife has committed. I have gone well over 20 strokes. But recently decided as Mark said to not go over 20 strokes. I do have experience using it. You must always be self-controlled and methodical in its useage. It can cause major damage if you use it nonchalantly and without aiming correctly and you want to avoid that at all costs. You also MUST control your strength when applying it. You would NEVER use the strength that you do when using a paddle or strap. You want to avoid the thighs because the padding is much thinner there and you can hurt muscles, etc. It is an instrument you must always use with upmost care and concern for your wife’s safety. You want to teach your wife a lesson, not hurt her beyond repair. It’s usage also requires aftercare, so the skin is kept from chaffing.

    My wife would describe it as a searing, burning pain that intensifies, it feels as if her bottom was set aflame. She usually has the reminder of her lesson for well over a week. For a serious infraction that is exactly what I want her to feel so that she doesn’t forget this lesson any time soon. And also that she learn the lesson that required it’s usage.

    I use it for serious repeated behaviors that she has been corrected before for with a paddle or strap for committing. Such as continuing a friendship that wasn’t healthy for her. Usually I will spank her 3 times for prior offenses of the same offense before reaching for the cane.

    She is well aware of this and knows if she continues down a road she shouldn’t I will use it on her. For the obvious reasons after she receives it her behavior on most issues is changed immediately and permanently. There is only one issue that I have had to use it on her several times for because she continued the behavior. Just recently she has learned that because she continued that one behavior I in turn can take the heat up of the strokes. She assured me this time has gotten through to her.

    Again, it certainly changes a wife’s bad behavior immediately, but it can also injure her beyond repair as it would leave her skin permanently damaged. If you love and care about your wife you would never use the cane on anything that wasn’t a serious offense. You would also always want self-control and to always examine her bottom as you apply the strokes.

    It is an instrument that my wife fears, but she always knows that I will handle it and her with utmost care and love when I need to administer it to her. As she has told me recently, the pain goes to the brain like no other instrument.

    1. That’s all very good advice. Thank you. The cane can make a wife regret bad behavior like no other instrument, but must used carefully and in moderation. It is a punishment to be avoided. Even a warning of getting the cane can change a wife’s attitude. I am happy you have seen its rewards.

    2. Hey R Todd, yes isn’t the cane a remarkable disciplinary tool? The most I give are 20-21 strokes, usually on sets of 7. I split each set with cornertime. My wife may not rub her searing behind when she is ordered to stand in the corner. At the end of her caning, she must spend a minimum of an hour with her nose in the corner, touching the wall and on display. She begs me to let her rub, but after the threat of another seven strokes, she quiets down and reflects in the corner. Glad the cane is useful for you.

      1. Yes Mark it definitely is remarkable in how it changes behavior immediately. I too make my wife stand in the corner after and not rub her bottom. My wife softly cries when I administer it, she has learned self-control in this area and doesn’t give me any problems. She does cry out in a pillow when she feels the strokes. She definitely fears it and just the threat of using it makes her change. I use to administer 30 strokes but realized it was way too many for her small frame. I learned to take the heat up of the 20 strokes if she continues a serious offense. I had to use it recently on one behavior that continues, I am hoping taking the heat up did the trick. It gives me no pleasure in having to administer it to her, but some serious offenses definitely require its usage.

    3. Excellent. Yes 20 strokes, if delivered properly will teach her a lesson. I strongly suggest making her stand in the corner for quite a while with her hand on her head and her nose touching the corner. She will feel the pain and the embarrassment for a long time.

      1. Just read that you do make her stand in the corner afterwards. Hats off to you!

  2. Practical question Avatar
    Practical question

    So, if one shops around, there are lots of different things online called “canes.” I’ve seen plastic canes, rattan canes, bamboo, metal. What kind of cane did the author have in mind when he wrote this? How do you find a quality cane when shopping for one, what should one look for? What should one avoid? What would be the difference between a cane and a switch? Or a wooden dowel from the hardware store? What diameter is usually appropriate for a cane?
    Thank you for your insight.

    1. Hello Practical, Thanks for your questions. I will leave it to the author to respond to his intentions regarding which kind of cane he is explaining. There is indeed some amount of variety, and a thinner cane can be used a bit more strongly than the heavy variety. The author may or may not be able to tell you about other instruments you mention.

    2. I have a rattan cane that is used for severe infractions. You can find them online reasonably inexpensive. They are what we’re used on me in school and trust me, extremely painful. After a proper caning, your wife won’t be able to sit comfortably for a while. If you have troubles finding a cane, feel free to email me at mberman80@outlook.com. Best of luck.

      1. Hello Mr. Mark, I emailed, but was wondering if you could suggest a cane. I have a high pain tolerance and feel the cane would be the best option for my husband and I, as I don’t want him to work harder, but desire the right correction. Thank you for any and all suggestions you may have.

      2. I know what I write may sound this way, but I actually mean no disrespect. Our CO detector needed replacing a few months ago. My husband went online. He ordered it in under a minute, and it was here the next day. I understand you asked your wife to buy it, and she didn’t do the task and then she lied about it , and hence the punishment. I’m just thinking though, that in the time you asked her and reminded her, it could’ve been ordered and been in your house, right? I know you’re going to say that’s not the point, and you would be correct, but , I don’t know, just something to consider, if the cane can be bought online….so can the detector. Again, no disrespect meant. Aron said in a post one time something to the effect that the job of wife, homemaker and mother is much more important and harder than any working job. Truer words were never written. I can see how if there is a big family and lots to do all day every day that things like this can be forgotten with no bad intent. My husband says that anything in the home that deals with safely is his job to take care of. Again I know the lying part is what escalated the punishment, I really do see that. Just, maybe a punishment as this one can be avoided in the future. Thank you.

      3. Anonymous wife Avatar
        Anonymous wife

        Greetings Lydia,

        Discipline is a gift. It is true that a husband can cover his wife’s faults, either by overlooking a disobedient action and in essence forgiving it, or not making a big thing out of an issue, or even as you suggest, taking care of a matter himself.

        And mercy is good.
        But so is discipline.

        My husband would be the one to sometimes let the matter slide. He might go and buy the carbon monoxide detector himself, if I had forgotten. But I feel a lot more cared for, guided, attended to, and loved, when he takes the time to call me to account.

        One of the meanings of “husband” used to be “to till, cultivate.” One “husbands” a vineyard by pulling weeds, pruning branches, and doing everything to make sure the vineyard is healthy and bears a good crop. A husbands role is to make sure his wife’s weeds are pulled and dead branches are pruned. To not be held to account is to be “un-husbanded.” Many of us CDD women don’t want that.

        I don’t want to be left to my procrastinating, unfocused ways. I want to have a certain level of expectations and discipline, lest I fall back into all sorts of bad habits. And if I lied to my husband? I hope I wouldn’t be able to sit for a week.

        Discipline is to be cherished, it is why we thank our husbands when they are finished instructing us. Sure, a husband can choose to make nothing out of something, but then he misses out on a more tended-to wife, and a wife misses out on the “tending-to.”

  3. Thanks for sharing this, Mark. I like your measure of success, that the most severe punishment was for something not repeated since.

    I think almost any woman would not have trouble obeying with a lesser implement being her worst case. It’s certainly not one I need. However, the mental image of it can be powerful, both for the wife to fear and for the husband to be confident in his ability to address any discipline issue. I also assume the cane is more likely to be used by English and others who grew up familiar it as an American does with a paddle.

  4. Italian Husband Avatar
    Italian Husband

    In the Italian tradition or, rather, in the disciplinary tradition of Northern Italy, the cane does not exist; we are not in the Anglo-Saxon world. But a variant has always been used, and it is the hazel rod. I myself have used it several times with my wife, and although I have never used the cane (but I have seen videos) I intuit the difference. I believe the hazel rod is more suitable for the use of chastising serious misses than the cane because it is much thinner and more flexible. The blows, that is, create severe and intense pain, what is needed to discipline serious cases, but never create permanent damage. The effect is to imprint very sharp raised marks on the butt, but without penetrating deeply into the flesh. In other words: pain is administered in a suitable way, but without putting the body at any risk. The blows are delivered with a “rebound” technique that precisely makes the pain sharp but has an effect only on the epidermis. The ideal position is to bend the woman over the table, standing but bent over, so the buttocks are in perfect exposure and curvature. The marks are almost blisters, and this helps keep the pain and discomfort for a couple of days, thus highlighting the educational and expiatory effect, but then everything goes back to normal. This is why the hazel rod allows one to somminsit well over 20 strokes without danger and giving genuine pain to the wife. This our experience, the use is much less frequent than with the hand strap because it must be reserved for major faults. It is an experience I suggest to all those who do not want to get to the barrel but feel the need for a very intense chastisement superior to the strap.

    Translated with http://www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)

    1. That sounds like a very useful alternative. Thank you.

  5. Long Time Practitioner Avatar
    Long Time Practitioner

    I have a light cane that I made from 2 strips of 8mm rattan material. It’s bound tightly with waxed dental floss about every 4 inches with an overall length of 32 inches and a leather wrist thong. This cane is very flexible and conforms to the curve of my wife’s bottom if applied. If used, it’s over the edge of the bed with her bent over and 2 pillows under her to make her bottom more prominent. With it being so light and flexible, it’s applied with a wrist snap and each stroke slightly apart from the preceding one. Six to ten good welts from it stay nice and bright for a couple of days. This is not an implement used often but the lesson it delivers is very clear from the sobs coming from her.

  6. I have never used the cane it’s not an implement I feel comfortable using. I generally use a large strap and on occasion my belt when a correction was required when we were not home. I don’t hand spank except sometimes one or two swats on her behind over clothing as a quick reminder when she is heading in a bad direction in a social setting

  7. lesleyderby Avatar

    We do have a cane, but to date it has never been used on me, my husband from the start of our marriage said it would only be used as a last resort should repeated bad behaviour warrant it or a serious offence was committed.
    I do however as a monthly ritual have to take out the cane and apply a coat of Linseed oil to it with a cloth, which helps me focus and is a constant reminder that it is there should it be needed.
    Just looking and handling the cane each month acts as a deterrent as I hope I never have to have it used on my bare bottom.
    To date my husband has used his hand, wooden backed hairbrush and a leather strap to punish me. The leather strap is a bad enough experience to endure so I can only imagine how the cane would feel should it be required.

    1. That’s a very useful strategy, Lesley. That way the cane can have its deterrent effect, and not have to be used, at least if all works out. Thank you.

  8. La caña mi marido la utiliza en ocasiones especiales, de mayor gravedad del delito.
    Mis ruegos y mis lloros ya empiezan cuando veo que la tiene entre sus manos. Es muy doloroso el sentir la caña en mi culo desnudo, me hace saltar y perder la compostura lo cual hace que sus regaños aumenten lo mismo que aumentan algún que otro azote con la caña por ser más escandalosa.
    Después de acabar la paliza deberé, de rodillas, besar el implemento y las manos de mi amado esposo, en señal de gratitud y respeto, acto seguido me llevará a reflexionar a la esquina donde permaneceré ( llorando mucho aún) desnuda con brazos en la cabeza y entre mis nalgas sujetando la caña lo cual me humilla muchísimo. Pero tendré mucho cuidado de no aflojar la presión de mis nalgas para que no se me caiga, por la cuenta que me tiene.
    La última vez que recibí tal tratamiento fue por olvidarme de una cita médica.
    Mi marido es mi guía y mi mentor.

    [As translated online below] — Aron

    My husband uses the cane on special occasions, of greater gravity of the crime. My prayers and tears already begin when I see that he has it in his hands. It is very painful to feel the cane in my naked ass, it makes me jump and lose my composure which makes his scolding increase the same as they increase the occasional spanking with the cane for being more scandalous.

    After finishing the beating I must, on my knees, kiss the implement and the hands of my beloved husband, as a sign of gratitude and respect, then it will take me to reflect at the corner where I will remain (crying a lot still) naked with arms on my head and between my buttocks holding the cane which humiliates me a lot. But I will be very careful not to loosen the pressure on my buttocks so that I do not fall off, for the account you have me. The last time I received such treatment was for forgetting a doctor’s appointment. My husband is my guide and my mentor.

  9. Caning Husband Avatar
    Caning Husband

    The cane definitely imparts a lot of pain. I use the cane exclusively for disciplining my wife. Before anyone thinks I am a monster, let me make it clear that I deliver a different number of strokes for different levels of infractions. I use the stroke because: (1) It enables quick punishment as few strokes also transmit lots of pain; (2) because it inflicts a lot of pain in a small area, a new stroke imparts distinguishable pain even if multiple strokes have been delivered before and (3) it is easy to link magnitude of infraction to the number of strokes. I deliver 3,6, 12, 25, 50, or 100 strokes based on the magnitude of infractions.

    3 strokes are delivered over the fully clothed behind of my wife. 6 strokes are delivered over panties. 12 strokes are delivered over the bare bottom. 25 strokes are delivered fully nude and for 50 strokes, she is nude as well as tied to the four corners of the bed. I have never delivered 100 strokes but I guess I will keep my modus operandi the same as the 50-stroke punishments. I have well-defined rules and linked them to infractions. In the 8 years of my marriage, I have used the cane 100 times. I keep a record of all punishments. There have been 25 3-stroke punishments, 50 6-stroke punishments, 15 12-stroke punishments, 8 25-stroke punishments and 2 50-stroke punishments. Except for the 50-stroke punishments, all punishments are delivered to the bottom only in other punishments. For the 50-stroke punishments, around 10 strokes are delivered to the thighs.

    1. I can appreciate this as I struggle with a high pain tolerance and am considering the cane a wonderful option for my husband and myself. I don’t want him to have to work harder, but I want the benefits of a good discipline. The cane seems like the right implement for us. Looking for the right one as we’re still learning. Thank you for your recommendations.

      1. Caning Husband Avatar
        Caning Husband

        Dear Sue,

        I would suggest the cane for any DD couple. It delivers a stern message in a few strokes and is effective over multiple layers of clothing. This makes it handy for an HoH wishing to quickly punish an infraction. It is also very effective in curbing long-term behavioral problems. I used the cane 50 times in first year of marriage, 30 times in the second and only 20 times in the remaining six years. Unfortunately, average strokes per punishment had to increase.

    2. Thank you Caning Husband for your recommendations. When starting out with the cane how many strikes would you recommend for infractions like back talking or defiance? I’m working on these bad traits, but they are hard to stop as I’ve developed these over the years. Also you mentioned over clothing, so would caning ever be done on a nude body? Sorry for all the questions, but we’re still learning. Also, any recommendations on cane type would be appreciated. Thank you again!

      1. Caning Husband Avatar
        Caning Husband

        Dear Sue,

        The DD dynamics for every couple are different. Without knowing further details such as your age and your current DD environment, recommendations on strokes cannot be given. I recommend a rattan cane. Caning can be done on the nude body but, unlike most instruments, it is also effective over clothing. For me, humiliation is part of the punishment and hence I link the degree of undress to the magnitude of the infraction and punishment. Others may not have the same modus operandi.

  10. rickmorganhoh Avatar

    I’ve never used anything other than my hand,  my belt and a paddle and don’t think I would. However,  I’m tempted to buy a cane and hang it up as a deterrent!

    Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

  11. We have a unique challenge in our relationship – I am a bikini model! So although my partner is very much the head of our household, for work reasons he cannot tan my behind too much as I wear skimpy briefs at work (always with his permission)

    There was one week where he was really mad and did spank me red and glowing! He jokingly shows me those modelling photos where you can see my red behind through the make up and spray tan!

    1. Hello Jenna, Thank you for visiting my website. I can see how that line of work would make being spanked very difficult. Your husband may have to rely on other forms of discipline which will not leave marks. However, I’d advise you to cease doing modeling which shows off your body, as we should be modest, and not encourage people to look at the flesh. Modesty is beautiful and womanly. The public only needs to see your good heart, as reflected through your face.

      1. Jenna It’s very sinful to dress like the way you say when anyone can see you. Bob only allowed me to wear bathing suits we got from a modest clothes place when we went to the beach.

  12. My partner has years of experience of keeping homes in order with former relationships, and I’m young but keen to have an orderly environment. We are in a community with a pool and a nice summer, so neither us want me to be marked during sunbathing weather. Also he’s restrained about day to day problems, however after a hard week in January, he thought a taste of the cane would be good for me. He told me a day in advance, which focused my thoughts, then when the time came asked me to strip and bend myself over the back of a sofa. I was trembling, and after three stokes I was a little pierced with pain- but then he stopped. With the shock going through my body, I started crying and hugging him. There were a few days after where I really tried hard to do everthing I could to make my partner feel appreciated, and the connection between us felt really warm and close.

    1. Hello Chelle, Thank you for sharing your experience. A needed correction can draw a husband and wife closer together, even if it is a difficult one. Sometimes the difficult ones are especially helpful, and seem to break down some barriers between them. They instill peace and submission more deeply.

      I know it is challenging to keep the marks from a spanking private, but as far as going to the beach is concerned, we dress fairly modestly there as anywhere else. I could give my wife a good hard spanking and it would still be covered, since she has a modest bathing suit. I certainly hope to normalize modesty around bodies of water, as much as spanking in marriage.

      Have a great day.

  13. I just have a cane type of question for one of you more experienced users. We use a 2 ft long 1/2″ thick dowel rod. Is this comparable to a cane? I find it very harsh compared to other things we’ve used before and I’ve been trying to steer us away from it, but the lack of sound makes it my husband’s preferred tool. He says it’s not a real cane because it’s thicker but jeez it sure feels like it could be one when you compare it to the hairbrush or the wooden spoon!

  14. 3 parts of 15 mins cornertime! 45 minutes!! It’s not fair.

    1. You shouldn’t be complaining about your husband’s correction, Kate. You should be focusing your heart on learning the lesson he gives you. Work on yourself and let him shape you.

  15. Thank you for your thoughtful perspective, Anonymous Wife.

  16. jessicappt510 Avatar

    I can’t stop crying. My husband used the cane on me last night for the first time. I know I deserved something severe. I lied to him about something 3 times but never expected him to use something so harsh on me. It seems so barbaric, he could have used the paddle and taken up the force. He told me he tried that and this was the last straw and I deserved a caning for my behavior. He said I needed to feel something I want to avoid in the future for me to stop my behavior. I know he is right, but why did he have to be so severe in administering it to me?

    This is all so very new to me and I am learning and receiving a spanking really humbles me and I am learning to be more submissive to him and obey him. I knew he wouldn’t like what I did so I lied. He told me I am still owed a whipping for my original offense. How do I reason with him that I don’t want him to use the cane again on me, it is way to harsh.

    How do other women feel about a caning? Is this something a husband should use?

    Thanks. Jessica

    1. Hello Jessica, If you lied three times to your husband, clearly you understand that you brought this caning on yourself. Your husband has given you a memorable punishment which you will never want to repeat. If you had not behaved so poorly he surely would have used a milder instrument to correct you. I suggest you spend your time focused on learning your lesson, and not complaining about the punishment you had to bear, for which you are fully responsible. That is where your mind needs to be.

      The cane is an effective instrument of discipline, which I would recommend keeping only for the more severe offenses. It is too harsh for minor wrongs. It needs to be used with care. If you learn from your correction I do not think you will have to face it again.

      1. jessicappt510 Avatar

        Sorry Aron. I guess I came off as complaining which wasn’t my intent. But after rereading my comment I can see how you got that impression.

        I truly know I was wrong and my behavior was deplorable. I knew he was going to have to make it memorable and a deterrent for the future.

        I guess I was just shocked, my husband is a born leader I guess I didn’t expect him to take the heat to off the charts on how he was going to deal with me. I am so sore and marked that I will have a reminder for a good week or more. I know I deserved it.

        As I said I was in shock, hurting and just wanted to hear how other women felt about the cane. I know I am going to do everything in my power to avoid him using it again on me. I just can’t stop crying since he carried it out and this lifestyle being so new. It is not like I can tell anyone in my life or discuss with them.


    2. Heather Avatar

      I would have let Aron’s reply to you stand without adding anything to it because I think it is a perfect example of Aron’s way of really driving the truth of the matter to the heart, with and ultra clear view of the pure reality of the situation, and pretty much needs nothing added to it. (It’s something of a gift he has, really…)

      BUT, you asked for wive’s opinions. My husband doesn’t own a cane, nor has he ever used one. However he uses other thin, whippy instruments — although I would assume an actual cane is still far worse. We do have a different implement though that I’ve asked hm not to use, because I’m afraid the thing might actually do some real damage (beyond just causing pain.). He has never said, “Ok, I’ll never use that on you,” so it’s clear in his mind he’s reserving the possibility of using it despite my request, but he has just quietly put it away where it’s not in the main set of implements he would normally use. BUT, if he got it out (and he might) and said, “It’s come to this, this is what I’m using on you this time,” I would take it. And if he bought a cane, I would take that too. I can make requests, but at the end of the day, he is my disciplinarian and he decides how, when, what for, and how badly I ought to be punished irregardless of what I may want or think of it.

      I would say though two things stand out to me in your writing though:
      — You lied three times to get out of punishment
      — You feel disconnected from and betrayed by your husband’s use of discipline

      I don’t know if your husband introduced discipline to your marriage or if you introduced it, but it is much better if you choose to embrace it. It is fulfilling to take this on as a gift, as something that helps you in your pursuit to be a better wife, to obey God and your husband, and embrace it as part of the sensual reality of submission to your dominant partner. Obedience is a form of love to your man and of love to God, and out of that heart of love you can find a place of embracing the punishments that ward off disobedience, that in essence help you be a better lover. Some of us ladies find bruises to be comforting, they are a sign of our man’s active interest and attention to our relationship, and to making sure we are at peace with one another and walking in a right way with him.

      With this in mind, please stop lying. You should not seek to get out of a punishment — if a punishment is offered, please accept it as a gift. A gift that is difficult to receive, but one which has innumerable fruits and benefits. The next time you do something you know he might punish you for, rather than lying to escape that punishment, go to him on your knees and quickly confess it to him. You may even wish to ASK to be disciplined for it. And if the discipline is horrible, once you have collected yourself, kiss him and thank him for it. He hasn’t betrayed you by hurting you, he is loving you. It’s important to find your sense of connection to your husband’s efforts to teach and train you and not resist it. It is good to be loved in this way, see if you can find it in your heart to accept the lowering feelings that may be embarrassing to accept but can enable you to take that lower seat with joy.

      “Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness;
      let him rebuke me—it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it.” Psalm 141:5

      “Faithful are the wounds of a friend….” (Proverbs 27:5)

      Blessings to you girl.

    3. Hello Jessica. You ask is this something a husband should use? Of course it is, it has been used to reign in many rebellious women through the ages. To great results.

      You also need to give up control as this question should not even pop into your head. Your husband is your authority and he is the only one who chooses what to use on your bottom to reign your bad behavior in and to achieve going to your rightful place back under him.

      As a husband who has used several different types of canes on my wife’s sweet behind to teach her a lesson she wouldn’t forget, if used correctly the cane is superior in changing my wife’s bad behavior.

      I only use the canes for serious infractions, such as what you did lying. Lying is a major sin and must be stopped immediately and the use of the cane will do that.

      After I use the cane on my wife she is very sweet and goes right back to her natural state of submission. She also has never done those behaviors again that warranted its use.

      She cries hysterically throughout and is very sorry and contrite about her behavior. She has told me that each stroke is its own but once a stroke is administered it sets the previous ones aflame again. She said the pain is deep throbbing and continual she has never felt anything like it. She said her bottom during and after feels like it is on fire that is how bad the pain is. She said it goes right to her brain. I can attest that the marks are deep red and the strokes go from side to side and they look and she said they are extremely sore for days which is a great reminder to her to obey. She definitely sits very gingerly and I do not allow pillows as I want her to feel the pain for at least a week or more. When I inform her that she has earned its use she becomes very introspective and regretful that she put herself in this position. She said the pain is worse than childbirth.

      My wife never once questioned my using it and knows better not to. You need to look at yourself and your own behavior as to why you earned it. After and in much pain my wife thanks me profusely for taking her in hand and punishing her bad behavior. She doesn’t give me attitude and even though I had to hurt her she treats me like a king after. She knows what I just delivered to her bottom was delivered out of love for her.


      1. Aron, you don’t have to post this obviously but my comments are—-

        Pain worse than childbirth? Seriously? This does not seem consistent with the types of punishment for which Aron is advocating. To be honest, the more descriptions of punishments I read from the people commenting here, the more, every night as I lay my head on my pillow, I pray and thank my Lord and Savior that he sent me a husband that leads me with intelligence, strength, kindness, humility and so much love, and with no need to use physical punishment. I will never take him for granted for even a moment. Thank you, Aron, for what I have learned from your articles. It’s most likely I will need to refrain from continuing to visit the website. I do appreciate many things you have taught me and given me to think about, and deepen my following of my husband.
        Blessings to all.

        1. Hello Lydia, That’s fine. I put up the articles, but I allow a good number of comments that are not necessarily the way I would handle things. Nor do I know how representative they all are of reality. I don’t have anything particular against the cane as an instrument, but I do not use it myself because it borders on serious danger. One can accomplish a serious punishment without it.

          Discipline is not always necessary in a marriage, and if you are virtuous and obedient to your husband without it, that’s wonderful. However, every husband has the basic right to use discipline should he find it necessary. The pain, however bright, does often accomplish its goal.

          Thank you for writing.

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