Husbands who have been leading their wives for a while generally know well how to handle any bad behavior by her in the home. They have an array of weapons, from instruction, to warning, to immediate discipline if the moment warrants it. For many couples this has become routine, and much is known and expected. However, out in public, responding the bad behavior comes with different challenges. The main reason for this is that the public views marriage as egalitarian, or at least views headship of a very mild kind. The public also views discipline of wives, even the non-physical kind, as dictatorial and abusive. That means a wife will need to be on her best behavior in public, and a man will need to use at times different strategies in responding any bad behavior.
First off, any wife should know that bad behavior, or disrespect of her husband in public is an especially negative mark upon him. She should never want to make her man look bad. She should never want to make herself, who represents the marriage in her own way, look foolish or unrighteous. Her behavior represents her head and her home. She should always be aware of this. She should be conscious of being self-controlled, gentle, delicate in speech, and kind in her manners. No husband should worry that his wife will fly off the handle in public. It makes him look like a fool as well, and like he doesn’t know how to handle his woman.
Now I’ve known a lot of people in my past who were into spanking, to some level or another, so I know men who’d just bust out in a gathering with, “I’m gonna smack your butt when we get home.” However, it takes the right kind of company to be as bold and brazen as that. Most of us, most of the time, simply don’t have friends and acquaintances who would respond to hearing that kind of announcement in a fair way. It has to be handled more delicately.
Since the average husband is not going to tell his wife in public that she’ll be spanked, or give her such a clear warning, he can still give her signals and make sure that she knows what they mean. If she hears those signals, she knows that now is the urgent time to respond, and she is either getting in trouble, or in trouble already. She’s got to be able to recognize those signals, and turn around if she’s been stepping out of line. Obviously he can simply tell her what she needs to do first, but if she is not hearing, then a warning she can understand should help her.
For some couples that signal is simply a look. The “look” by a husband will tell a wife she needs to be quiet right now, or that she is just beginning to get into bad territory. She should graciously respond by ending whatever is offending her husband. He can also have a phrase that she knows means either to end it, or that she will be facing a punishment when she gets home. He may tell her they will need to have “a talk” later. He may say I’m going to “deal with this” tonight. He may also have a term of affection he uses only to let her know she is in trouble, such as “you need to stop that now, darling.” A careful wife will not forget that she’s only “darling” when she’s in trouble. Physical cues like a pinch here or there are a quieter and more private warning that it’s time to stop that behavior, and that a spanking is immanent.
Since a wife’s misbehavior in public is an ugly mark on the family, and in a sense a disrespect to a husband, I will make sure the spanking she receives is memorable. That is especially true of open disrespect or disobedience. I’ve had to punish my wife for such an issue only four times I can think of, in our many years of marriage. That is twice for her mouth, and twice for ignoring things I told her she needed to do. She is keenly aware of how important her public presence is, and how deeply offensive it is to represent us in any malicious way, or make it look like she doesn’t listen to me. If I ask her, “do you want to have a talk about this later?” she graciously responds in the right way.
The key is to effectively address the problem that has arisen in public. It is to warn a wife when a problem arises, before it becomes too bad and before she ends up getting punished. If it has gotten bad already, it still needs to be stopped, and she ought to know, whether in public or otherwise, that she’s in big trouble and will face the music later. I believe a few of these cues and phrases will allow a husband to do that delicately. However, if a wife is virtuous, and a husband has been leading her well, bad behavior in public will very rarely be an issue.
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