Spanking and Pregnancy

The subject has come up many times about the safety of spanking while a wife is pregnant, both in the comments and in my e-mail exchanges with readers. It deserves its own article, and separate discussion. In nearly all marriages childbirth will occur, and it should. Sometimes, the closeness which comes along with spanking, leads to more intimacy, and with it the joy of new children in the home. Protecting children is a high priority, so questions of safety naturally come up. Does a couple need to avoid all spanking during this period? Are there safety measures they should take? If you haven’t faced this decision yourself, know that many traditional households have, and don’t always deal with it the same way.

I have always spanked during my wife’s pregnancies, as have most other couples I’ve spoken to. However, I don’t spank during the entire period, and I take several safety measures. I avoid spanking in the very early and late periods of the pregnancy. I also avoid heavier instruments, and more severe spankings. This is both because of the pain, and the possible stress it may put the woman under. Similarly you should give thought to the instrument you use, and the position in which you spank her. I believe a basic amount of similar precaution will work for you as well, but of course the safest thing is to avoid it entirely.

We have never had any trouble because of it, but pregnancy is a more sensitive time, and some women’s systems more sensitive than others. It’s important that you also base your judgment on any unique medical conditions your wife may have. Ask the doctor what kinds of activities are best to avoid. In general, many women do exercise, and some basic labor while pregnant. It is just safest to avoid the heaviest or riskier tasks, since a small child is with her, and he is more prone to injury. Even making love, which many couples do during pregnancy, can be fairly physical and percussive, but is still safe if done with some self control.

Pregnancy is also a time in which it may be more inconvenient to spank for other reasons. A woman is seeing a doctor more often during this period. That means, unless you tell your doctor that you are involved in spanking, you will have to schedule spankings a distance away from any doctor’s visits, so the obvious marks on the bottom are kept private. This does not make spanking impossible, but it does limit how often you can use it. Some couples simply tell their medical professionals that they use consensual spanking, so it is not a problem. However, this option still may be too embarrassing for other couples, and it is possible that you will face pressure to stop it. I consider it safest not to tell others you spank unless you know for a fact they will be understanding, and that they will also keep it private.

Couples that end spanking during pregnancy will have to rely on other methods of discipline, which may not be as successful. This is not much different from what many couples do if they travel, or have guests, but still need to use discipline. Ceasing to spank for as long as a pregnancy, or a little longer to include a recovery period, will require a period to adapt to a return of discipline when the time comes. Some wives will feel freer to step out of line if serious punishment is not on the table, but even if that is the case, it will not take too long to restore discipline once she has recovered. You should carefully consider all of your options regarding discipline during pregnancy.


22 responses to “Spanking and Pregnancy”

  1. Please don’t spank women during pregnancy. It can impact the developing and extremely delicate brain of the baby growing inside her. The baby will experience the stress the mother goes through during a spanking through the elevation of cortisol etc released. There is evidence that this has long term effects on the child. Pregnancy should be a time of cherishing and protecting women and if this is not possible, then please think of the unborn child.

    1. Hello Cara, Thank you for your comment. If one wants to be absolutely safe, simply abstaining is the safest thing to do. I have never had any problems with it myself, and I do not consider the effects of a spanking much harder than the effects of various other activities a pregnant woman may be doing.

  2. Sorry, my friend, but I must disagree with you on this very strongly. Doctors have actually weighed in on this question and it’s generally agreed that impact play during pregnancy is not safe. It’s simply far too risky. I’d suggest alternative forms of discipline if it absolutely must happen.

    1. Thank you for your comment, Guason, As I have said, if you want to be absolutely safe, then you can avoid it entirely. However, many couples do it, and the risk isn’t very great. Nor is a simple spanking, apart from the more severe instruments, much more impactful than other activities that pregnant women regularly do. It’s not highly dangerous, and it’s wrong to paint it that way.

      We regularly make love through most of a pregnancy for example, which even with moderation, can be somewhat impactful. I can remember a few rides on bumpy roads, which had the baby kicking, which were certainly more percussive than a spanking.

  3. Long Time Practitioner Avatar
    Long Time Practitioner

    The first time I spanked my 1st wife, she was pregnant. It was a couple of months after we were married, and she was about 4 months along. We were going to get married anyway and when we found out that she was pregnant we had a small civil ceremony. I was working 2 jobs and came home after a very long day between both jobs. There was absolutely nothing ready for me to eat and I was very hungry as I had spent 10 hours at the main job. I was working installing equipment, so it was fairly heavy physical labor, and a working man needs to eat. I asked why nothing was ready to eat and she told me if I was hungry to get it myself. I explained to her that she needed to have something ready for me even if it had to be warmed up when I got home. She gave some saucy answer and asked what I was going to do, spank her? I grabbed her by the hair and led her to the bedroom where I put her face down on the bed. I pulled up her skirt and slid her panties around her knees. I took the belt out of my pants and warmed her bottom up to a red glow before I stopped. They were not full-strength strokes, but they were hard and brisk enough to get through to her. I made her stand in the corner with her bare red bottom showing while I made my own meal and ate it. After I finished eating, I sent her to bed while I showered. When I went to bed, she was there with her glowing bottom showing and wanting some intimate attention. This was the only time I spanked her while she was pregnant, and it got the desired results because I never came home after that to no meal being ready.

  4. Charina Avatar

    I had 3 misscarriages so my husband and i decided not to spank the entire coming pregnancies and some time after that so i could fully recover. I had high-risk pregnanies so also sex was forbidden from my doc.
    It was a hard time for both of us but now we have 2 healthy children and are very happy. Truth to be told we had a non DD life in this time, because i was in severe pain all the time (i have really hard pregnancies and had to get many helpdesk from my doc and other medicals) and my husband saw that and decided we would stop at that point.
    I am really thankful that he did that. Now our youngest is 1 year old and everything is back at it was.
    In my opinion every family has to look close what is possible during pregnancy and what not. We had to stop entirely and i am very thankful that my husband saw that.

  5. Norbert Avatar

    Cara is on the right way, don’t do it while pregnancy of your wife

  6. Aron, you do not deal with how to position the wife to receive the spanking. I think that having to bend over furniture would make for a harsher punishment than having the warmth and security of my husband’s body under and around me as I am disciplined over his knee.

    1. Thank you, Abby. I don’t deal with the question in any great detail. It seems a position which would avoid too much pressure on the belly would be good.

  7. Old Soul Avatar
    Old Soul

    I agree that abstaining from spanking and rougher sex is best, both during pregnancy and for a month or two afterwards, depending on her recovery timeframe. If this presents discipline issues, simply utilize alternative punishments.

    Miscarriages are very common, and if you don’t take precautions you may suffer a lifetime of ‘what-if’s’ even if they aren’t warranted.

    Just put her in the corner and take away her screens. That will do.

  8. ThatWifeLife Avatar

    We welcomed our newest addition this morning, so my thoughts/experience with this topic are very fresh. I’ll come back soon and share details on how spanking during pregnancy works in our home.

    1. That sounds good. Thank you. Congratulations on your newest child.

  9. Daniela Avatar

    Personally, pregnancy and becoming a mother made me much more submissive and respectful to my husband. I became a SAHM and take care of the kids while my husband works.

    1. Thank you for your comment. I’m very gIad to hear that. believe bearing children and caring for the home helps many women to be more feminine and submissive.

  10. Being pregnant was the time when I asked my husband for discipline for the first time. We agreed to have only light spankings during pregnancy and this worked for us.
    The joy of motherhood sealed my submissive nature and allowed me to really take on my proper role as submissive housewife in our marriage.

  11. This is such an important topic for you to bring up for discussion, Aron, as Christian couples naturally want to honor God by bearing His fruit and raising those children to love and follow Him. An honorable man who values his wife’s training also values her safety and will strive to protect the child growing inside her. But as a new mother myself, I do want to humbly share that abstaining from physical discipline completely may not be the best choice for every wife. As long as her pregnancy is not high risk, a woman in good health can exert herself in many ways without harming her child. I think withstanding a spanking is similar to a hard workout, and as long as her doctor approves of exercise and love making, a pregnant wife can probably handle a little discipline.

    My husband was tender and cautious with me during pregnancy and the months following, and I am grateful for his merciful love. But when he reintroduced the firm discipline I’d known before I had started to show (when he began to think of me as fragile), we both noticed positive changes in our marriage. I hadn’t realized how my ego had been secretly blossoming in my heart until it was thoroughly laid to rest over my husband’s lap. I told him how ashamed I was that I’d let a tiny evil seed take root within me. I’m embarrassed that it took a long, hard spanking to pluck it out. I wish sometimes that I didn’t need discipline to be a loving and obedient wife. I wish I could skip those hard parts forever, but that’s not how God created me. I humbly accept that, and I trust in His wisdom.

    My husband loves me and forgives me, but I doubt he’ll handle me in the same way during my next pregnancy. He’s already let me know that he’ll be more likely to spank, and we plan to ask more questions of the doctor about “exercise” and “exertion.” He’ll carefully monitor the doctor’s feedback and my own reactions to determine what’s appropriate for me to handle. I want to make it clear that there was no error in judgement on his part. But I share this with his permission, so that other husbands can make the best decisions for their marriage. There is value in the humbling aspects of discipline, even if an expectant bride has been too exhausted to actually break any rules. It reminds us of our sacred roles and prevents dangerous thoughts from taking hold in a woman’s heart.

    If your sweet and loving wife still needed an occasional spanking before pregnancy, she probably needs it during as well. As long as she’s healthy, your love of her and your God-given wisdom will help you decide exactly how much disciplines she needs. She is blessed to be under your care.

    1. I appreciate your thoughts on the subject, Sophia. I agree, unless there is a reason to believe there is high risk, an ordinary spanking is not endangering the child any more than many regular activities a mother does anyway. It may be safer than even light sports. Considering the value of discipline, I don’t see any need to stop it entirely, but different people may come to other conclusions. I know you both care for your child and will make a well thought-out decision. Blessings.

  12. blairekensington Avatar

    If I act inappropriately on my period my husband will simply schedule my spanking once my cycle has ended. I’ve been pregnant twice and while I was pregnant my husband was a bit more lenient knowing I was already under a lot of stress. He wrote down all my major misbehaviors on his notes app and I had to take them after a few weeks from giving birth 😭.

  13. I am a few weeks pregnant with our fourth child. My husband has continued to disapline through all of my preganacys with the same level of firmness as when I am not pregnant, and this one is no different. My husband says that it is vital that my behaviour and attitude be kept in check. I do struggle with my attitude at times and my husband feels without disapline this could spiral out of control. The only difference in spankings when I am pregnant is the positioning. Ethier my husband has me stand with my hands against the wall or he as a bean bag that I can lie face down on and will make a hollow for my bump. I do find spankings painful and difficult to take. My husband, when disaplining me, brings me to a point where I am sobbing and begging for forgiveness. After he will let me stand in the corner until I am calm. I must then get on my knees and thank him with my mouth, bringing him to climax and swallowing his seed. I find the whole session humiliating and humbling, which I guess is the point. I do feel much meeker in the days following and certainly and much more focused on listening and responding to my husband requests.

    1. SubmissiveWife Avatar

      I am so sorry you find it humiliating to pleasure your husband after punishment. I used to feel that way but at the same time I felt…right. I felt honored to have a powerful, loving man who cares enough to correct me when I need it. Now I literally am.not happy until I have made amends to my king with my mouth after a very hard spanking or whipping. I hope one day you too will feel this sense of satisfied happiness. Yes it is humbling. And yes it does my place beneath my husband, literally and figuratively…but it’s where I’m happiest. As far as pregnancy goes, my husband still spanks me but uses only his hand in the early weeks. We go back to “normal” in the second trimester.

  14. elizaishis Avatar

    We stopped spanking and most disciplines during my pregnancies and breastfeeding times. After 3 kids we had pretty much stopped all discipline. It really reaked havoc on our marriage. Once we both realized what the difference was and went back to our regular spankings and disciplines and submission our marriage was restored to what it used to be. We regret stopping altogether during this period as it caused so much undue friction. The first time I got spanked after we started back again was when I truly realized how much I need regular discipline and spanking. I am so much happier totally submitted to my husband.

  15. We ended up doing alternative punishments during pregnancies. One time I had to spend the day completely naked. It’s amazing how much my attitude improved from a little bit of humbling 😂 Spankings resumed when I was healed up!

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