How Not to be Too Soft

Men who lead their homes and discipline their wives tend to have two potential pitfalls before them. One is being overly legalistic and harsh, and the other is lacking oversight, and being soft with punishment. I have included a few articles warning against the former, and would like to focus on avoiding the latter pitfall. Just as a man must avoid ruling in a totalitarian way, he must avoid being lazy or permissive. He cannot be afraid to spank hard when needed, or fear when his wife complains about a spanking. He’s got to be involved, give conscientious oversight, and give punishments hard enough they are a deterrent.

One key to accomplishing this is consistency. Punishment should not be skipped when it is truly earned. There may be unique times  to show mercy, but as a general rule a wife should know that to break the rules earns a spanking. In line with consistency, the rules and standards should not be changing. They need to be consistent over time, and if they do change, he needs to tell his wife. Once she knows that stepping over the line willfully earns her a spanking, and once she gets one a few times, she will avoid getting too close to the line. Many wives will also learn better what behavior pleases her husband, and wanting to please him, will better shoot for that mark. Letting bad behavior go simply cannot accomplish this.

A husband should not be lazy with discipline That includes any discussions he needs to have with her, any verbal correction, and any spankings. Work life can make it difficult to find the time, but discipline should not be given a low priority, or put off because it takes time and energy. Make the time, and give the attention to guiding your wife as needed. It could be a few minutes of verbal instruction here and there. It could be a discipline session that takes over half an hour. The good it brings to her behavior in the short and long term make the work worthwhile. Many couples manage to have leisure time, and they certainly can have correction time as well. Early in a marriage, or when there are shortcomings, extra time for training may be necessary. With scheduling, and right prioritization, an hour or two every week is not beyond expectations. Later on it will surely be less.

A man can avoid becoming too soft by making sure he gives a thorough and hard spanking. There may be a few women sensitive enough to benefit from a soft spankings, but many women simply do not respect them, and do not feel punished at all to receive mild punishment. They know it’s not an experience to fear. A wife should be humbled, lectured firmly, and spanked with an instrument hard. A good hard spanking will usually leave redness or bruising the next day. It will bring the average wife to tears, and a husband should not fear spanking through her tears until he finds the punishment has fit the crime. I know all the spankings I give are going to be thorough because I have many points to lecture my wife on, and she will be spanked through each one. The spanking ought to be hard enough that the punished lady wish she were not there, wishes it were over, and wishes she had not put herself in that position to begin with. She regrets ever doing what she did. She may doubt she can bear the strokes coming down anymore. The thought of going through it in the future ought to be unpleasant, and bad enough that she avoids that same behavior.

A husband needs to be firm by not giving in to his wife’s excuses, or other pleas to avoid going over the knee. In very few instances have I ever found that an excuse for bad behavior was valid. The only exception may be important information you did not know about the situation which changes the matter. Otherwise, in order to lead and correct her, you have to be able to look past excuses, and spank a woman who is trying to get out of it. You similarly need to be firm in spanking a woman who is in tears, and continuing to spank her as she sheds more of them. If she puts up any resistance during her correction, you also need to end it, and if it continues, punish her for it. Your wife needs to know she is not getting out of her punishment. She earned it. She is responsible. You do not bend to tears or to arguing. She has broken the rules and will be stripped, bent over, and given the penalty until you are sure she has learned her lesson. Any bad attitude or resistance needs to be fully out of her system by the time you are done with her backside.

Just as a husband must spank hard, he’s also got to be serious and firm in his verbal correction during the session. While he should not yell or call names, he ought to be clear about how serious her bad behavior was, and how he does not accept it. He needs to clearly state how she must act, and how she must not act. I find that my discussion before I correct my wife is gentler, but once I get going with her punishment, my words become naturally harder, and stricter sounding, being encouraged by my repeated strokes on her behind. I will repeat myself with words too, and express the same message in different ways. I tell her the lesson she needs to learn from this. I tell her whom she belongs to. I tell her how her behavior needs to be in the future. I make sure she verbally affirms the lesson I am giving her, and she must respond to my questions as I spank her. Being hard with words, yet controlled, aids a wife in both learning the lesson, and taking it seriously. That lesson relates to her behavior and her overall submission to her husband. She needs to be engaged by your words during a correction, and your words need to be clear and firm. They are pointing her in the right direction, as your strokes further motivate her.

A husband should know he is responsible for his wife’s behavior, and needs to give oversight in every domain in life, not in some. He does not only manage her speech to him, but should make sure her speech is clean and respectful in general. He has oversight over her projects in the home, or any projects she does outside of it. He is responsible to make sure she is virtuous, and avoids filthy or unethical behavior. He makes sure her use of the finances are within the bounds he has set. His wife answers to him. He is not shut out from any area of her life. To shirk part of that headship is to bring danger into the marriage, and give her the wrong notion that she is autonomous. It helps to have a regular review of how she has been doing during the week, or a similar period to make sure everything is going well, and she is staying within his bounds. This meeting will help her remember she is answerable to her husband too, and will keep him more fully involved in her life.

Guide your wife regularly with your words. No one wants to use discipline all the time, and it would be a failure to have to do that. Use your words to instruct her, gently correct her, warn her if she is beginning to go down the wrong road, and finally lecture her when needed during a punishment. A man who is thorough in leading his wife with words will find over time she needs to be spanked less often. He will then find that when she is spanked, and given a very humbling lesson, his words are more effective with her, and she knows to respond more easily. Uprisings of bad behavior become rare. Negligence with her duties becomes rare. Nearly everything gets done with words. She should know if she listens and obeys, she won’t have to face a spanking, and he will find joy in seeing how easily she follows him, listens, and cares.

If you are weak with your wife, the chances are high that you lose her respect. Letting her get away with badmouth, honestly, just looks pathetic. A woman may still love a man, but she does not respect a man. You deserve her respect and her obedience. Women have trouble following a man whose words don’t mean much. Either they are too unclear, or she doesn’t see the importance, or she has no fear of being defiant. Defiance can just become a game to her, or a manipulation tactic, because she knows she can get away with it. There is no meaningful price to pay. Good hard spanking, and clear verbal guidance make sure she has to respect your words. She knows what you say is imperative to do. She knows you do not play around, even if you speak softly. You have no qualms about bending her over and putting her through the fire. A wife will welcome those reins, and let you guide her to the left and the right, and with time will give up resistance and love it.

The rules you set for the home, and the discipline you give your wife, are an expression of your deep love. They are not the warm and gushy expression which are most likable about love, but they are some of the most powerful and effective expressions of love. Your rules and discipline maintain the good, and crush the evil. They set up protection against the storm, and protect those inside the family. The law of God is love in action, and every man, as the head of his home, has right to assure it is a place of virtue, holiness, and ethics. He keeps his wife from evil in doing so. As she listens and leads from her man, she finds she has to face the scourge far less, and stays well within the warmer and softer protection of his arms. The rod greatly fulfills the purposes of love.


Comments

33 responses to “How Not to be Too Soft”

  1. Ryan1896 Avatar
    Ryan1896

    Another great post, should God bless me with such a good wife I will do my part in being strict and consistent!

    1. Thank you, Ryan. I know you will do your best.

  2. Monica Avatar

    I know that I could never respect a weak man, and sometimes my husband can be harsh and demanding but that’s always better than soft and permissive. The bottom line is that my husband loves me and wants me to be the best wife that I can be, which means being consistently strict and having oversight and authority over every part of my life. His leadership gives me peace of mind. I’m grateful to serve a man who loves me enough to protect me and direct me 24/7. I’m lucky that he’s naturally strong and dominant which makes it natural to respect and obey him.

    1. That’s a great attitude to have, Monica. Other wives can learn from your example. A weak husband is bad for the home, just as a weak leader is bad for a nation. You are surely very blessed by your husband.

    2. johnsonjelena45 Avatar
      johnsonjelena45

      Thank you for sharing Monica. My husband just wanted me to be the best person, the best wife, I could be. Our rules were set up to help me become a better person.
      I am glad to hear that he naturally strong; mine was an exercise nut and very strong too. I tried to resist some his first spanking, they were so painful but if he deemed I needed a spanking, I was going to get a spanking no matter what. Even if he had to wrestle me over his lap and tear my panties off. I soon learned it was a lot better to cooperate with the spanking in the first place. But I had to learn that the hard way.

  3. Thank you for another great article, Aronhusband. I think that this is a very important issue and would like to add a little from my own perspective, if you will allow me.

    I cannot speak for all women, but personally I thrive when properly guided and corrected. I am grateful for having a loving and caring Husband that understand this; but I’m even more grateful for His understanding that when His authority is undermined by my actions, it is in the best interest of both of us that I am corrected in a manner that cannot, in any way, be described as “gentle” or “loving”.

    I apologize for seemingly contradicting what you wrote in the article, but this is not my intention: him disciplining me this way is indeed an act of care – but there’s an old British saying that says, “the most important thing a gentleman must learn, is when to stop being a gentleman”. At least with me, the same must apply to discipline: in order for the punishment to have the desired effect on me, at the moment of its application I must not be treated as a beloved wife, but as a person who must be punished dreadfully for going against authority and who, as such, must not be shown any mercy or leniency.

    Jenny

    1. Thank you. Those are some very good points, Jenny. I agree with you. There is an apparent mix of feelings when giving a spanking, due to the need to be harsh. It is quite possible to give discipline in a caring manner. That comes through understanding that you are doing this for her good, and to cleanse her of the wrong. She needs to undergo it.

      However, the tenderness usually associated with love is put aside because of the need to correct. You are going to have to apply something she really does not like and which makes her feel bad. The care is still present, as I see it, and also can moderate the spanking, to assure it is basically humane and does not cause serious harm. In a sense it can be compared to an act of healing, which though the medicine is bitter, brings the patient to health in the end.

      I certainly have to put aside the instinct to be tender when I give spankings. Many husbands do. There is a temptation to go light on her, or to end the spanking early. When I realize the importance of the discipline, and my wife’s need to face it, that assures I deliver the needed strokes and am not lenient. The spanking will be an appropriate punishment for her deeds, and she will regret doing what she did while I bring the strokes down. Some time in the fire will do her good.

  4. I think this is very important. I think for myself and a lot of women growing up in the world today there’s a lot of ideas and values pushed on us and others demonized. We can end up getting stuck in ideas of being independent and being ‘girl bosses’, denying natural emotions and instincts to submit as being wrong.

    I know I was very much like that with my husband at first. Being disciplined has peeled back those ideas I learned growing up and in college and let my natural submission come forward, to let me embrace being a wife and discover the joys of having a authoritative husband.

    We are only 6 months into the marriage but I have changed so much for the better because he had the strength to deal with me and give me a purpose I realize I was looking for all my life.

    1. Thank you for your comment. I am very happy for you both that you respect your natural roles. It’s true the current social programming really expects women to live in conflict with their natures. The submissive role in marriage allows women to live out their natures, which will always be more fulfilling, and rewarding.

    2. Emily this was exactly like my upbringing I was brought up to challenge male authority and to be independent and to suppress our instincts to be more feminine and to look to a man for authority.

      I was glad I found my husband and that he could correct these ideas and allow my natural more submissive side to blossom under his guidance.

  5. Amanda Avatar

    Thank you for sharing. I know I need a strong man in my life to lead me. May God see it to bless me with a future partner.

    1. Thank you for your comment Amanda. I’m glad you can see the purpose in having a husband who is a strong leader. May God lead you to your future husband in His grace.

    2. Amanda, would you be so kind to tell us more about you. I as well as other good men are looking for an equally good woman. Thank you. Blessings!

    3. johnsonjelena45 Avatar
      johnsonjelena45

      Amanda, I just said a prayer for you, that God sends such a man in your direction. Every time I see your name I will think of this and pray for you.

  6. Weaker vessel Avatar
    Weaker vessel

    It is true that as women it is our duty to obey our husbands whether they discipline us or not, whether they do a good job leading or not, whether they handle their authority well or not.

    But there are ways that a man projects masculine energy in such a way that makes it more “natural” and easier for his woman to fall in behind him, and ways that he makes it much, much harder.

    –So…discipline. I think that clear expectations, and clear follow through make it easier for a woman to rest into her role and know she is being guided and cared for, even with the lash. Whereas unclear expectations, or lack of follow through on stated rules, leave a woman disoriented and out of sorts, and provoke a lack of focus on her part towards submission.

    –Good leadership. Men who make it clear that they have goals, which emanate from the type of God-follower they are, and based in care for her well-being and the well-being of his children and ultimately for the Kingdom of God, inspire a woman to want to surrender to his strength and foresight and evident virtue. A man who projects selfishness, lack of his own self-discipline, questionable integrity, or questionable rationale for his choices leaves a woman feeling uneasy about following him.

    –Use of authority. A man who is confident and centered his role as head and leader easily inspires his wife’s respect. A man lacking confidence in his role shows authority in ways that weaken her respect, such as him losing self-control, lashing out, becoming overly emotional, being overly self-indulgent in non-productive things, can actually provoke rebellion.

    No man is going to get a perfect score in these 3 areas without fail. Everyone has their off moments, weak spots, etc. But men who are consistently off their targets will leave their wives struggling to follow. Men who constantly are on their targets will make her rest easily into her feminine role and find joy in following him. Again, none of these things are excuses for disrespect or disobedient on a woman’s part, and she must endure and obey regardless, but as she is the weaker vessel, she can often become disoriented in her role if any of these three areas of the man’s role are lacking.

    1. Wondering Avatar
      Wondering

      This is EXACTLY what I have been thinking. Sometimes it is so natural to think and reply “yes, sir” just by watching who he is. And other times, if he is sick or just not feeling great and doesn’t seem the same, it’s not quite as easy. I know we still need to show him the same respect, but I purposely have to remember to do it. So, yep. I agree with you, Weaker vessel. 😊

  7. This is a question for the ladies. Does your husband ever discipline you for negative self talk? I haven’t been but I got warning along those lines today. Does accountability help with this? I know Marty wants the best for me. It just feels kind of unfamiliar.

    1. He helped me by reframing how I think of it. I belong to him, if I speak negatively about myself I’m doing it to him also and I would never do that. He also says “I never tell you to do something unless I know you can do it”. That means he has faith in me and that means more to me than I can say. He gave me a reminder spanking along with our talk, it was more to help me let go of the negativity I was hanging onto.

      1. That makes sense. That our oneness means I’m indirectly speaking about him too. Thanks Rosie

    2. Wondering Avatar
      Wondering

      I’m not supposed to talk negatively about myself. I get “the look” and sometimes a warning to be careful what I’m saying. It’s hard because I just say what I think other people are thinking. It’s kind of like “trust me, I don’t think I’m all that great… I know.” But for some reason, he makes it seem like that isn’t what he was thinking at all, and I shouldn’t be either. 🤷‍♀️

    3. Cresta rodofkindness@gmail.com Avatar
      Cresta rodofkindness@gmail.com

      My husband doesn’t, but in our ladies CDD group, there are several women there whose husbands take an active interest in their spiritual life and will catch them in bad emotional or spiritual habits (self-pity, jealousy, depression, emotional upheaval, etc) and they get spanked not so much to punish them for these things but more as a time of lecture/instruction with spankings to hammer the point home. This is usually but not always a more cooperative type of dynamic (husband and wife agree for the husband to discipline for this) to be held accountable and instructed in these things. Usually they have certain verses assigned that they write repetitively and their husbands will lecture and spank them on those verses.
      My husband and I don’t have that dynamic but he does discipline me if I project onto him a negative assessment of HIS motives or intentions. That’s a red line in our world and is counted as disrespect.

  8. A husband who truly loves his wife is a husband committed to keeping his wife in the way of God, my husband may seem rigid, but I prefer to have my butt burning from time to time than a life of sins and a corrupted soul

    1. Learning Avatar
      Learning

      I agree with that. My poor bottom has never been so sore.

      We have been married a while, seven years, and my husband and I are just now starting DD. I have stumbled quite a bit in submission – both in the spankings and in the sexual submission. I am of course still learning.

      In a particularly harsh spanking session last month, I reached back to protect my bottom from the hair brush. (He had already landed more than twenty blows with that thing! I could barely breathe with the pain!) That landed me in the corner, starting the spanking from the beginning, and sexual submission training every day for a week.

      I quiver at the thought of any more discipline sessions.

      1. Hello Katherine, Thank you for sharing your experience. I know it’s hard, but you learn better to do what you are told, and you won’t have to face a spanking so often. Never resist during a spanking session either. Be fully cooperative, and set your mind on receiving and learning your lesson. It is all for your good. It’s right to be thankful to your husband for taking the time to correct you when your behavior has been poor. If a discipline session is fearful, then let that inspire you to watch your behavior in the future.

    2. johnsonjelena45 Avatar
      johnsonjelena45

      Your words are so true, I wish more couples shared that same view.

  9. Krissy Avatar

    At what point would you suggest training if things are not going so smoothly??

    1. Hello Krissy, That’s really a decision the husband needs to make. However, if problems are ongoing, and there is clearly willful bad behavior, then regular training will likely do a wife some good. It will help her internalize whom she belongs to, and how to behave to please her husband. Training can work that resistance out of her.

  10. Curious Avatar

    Hello Sir.
    I have never made a comment before, and I am not sure if you’ve had a chance to read my email yet. I am wondering how can you get your husband to stop being lazy on discipline and become consistent. I find I get away with a lot of bad behavior. I know I have a very big problem on talking back and arguing. I have been spanked but not enough for it to be a deterrent. I know what I need to be a better wife, how do I get him to understand the importance of DD? How can I get him to listen to me a take me seriously if I can’t tell him what to do?
    Thank you.

    1. Hello Curious, A wife just has to do what she is able, and then be patient. A wife cannot change her husband’s mind on the matter, or tell him what to do. Often it is a chance to speak with another man that helps him see his role and responsibility more clearly. Time and experience can aid him as well, since it is not easy for many men in this culture to fully comprehend the authority they have, nor to see how discipline needs to work to be effective.

      A wife should learn to be gentle and obedient to her husband even when he is not being firm and consistent with discipline. The lack of punishment is not an excuse for a wife’s bad attitude. She needs to make it her goal to step down and meekly follow her man.

      In your case, since you said you are not married, that has to come first. It will establish the true roles that you have, and assure that you are bound together for life. Until then it is very unstable, and apart from marriage there is no true authority in personal relationships.

  11. johnsonjelena45 Avatar
    johnsonjelena45

    I love how you write- your words. They are so true for me, on the other side of the fence- being the receiver. It’s hard for me to pick what one of your post, do I like the most or is most true for me.
    Below is a few line that strike home for me:
    “A husband needs to be firm by not giving in to his wife’s excuses, or other pleas to avoid going over the knee. ” I gave my husband every excuse in the book and early on begged him not to spank me.
    “…you have to be able to look past excuses, and spank a woman who is trying to get out of it.” Mine did that well. I would recommend all husband’s doing the same.
    ” You similarly need to be firm in spanking a woman who is in tears, and continuing to spank her as she sheds more of them.” I was a cry baby- I cried soon and long and hard but that didn’t make any difference to him. Another piece of good advice, Sir.
    “Any bad attitude or resistance needs to be fully out of her system by the time you are done with her backside.” Mine said he spanked the fight out of me- I had no more energy to resist.
    “He makes sure her use of the finances are within the bounds he has set.” after several years of marriage finances (spending) was my down fall and got me the most spanking.
    “…even if you speak softly. You have no qualms about bending her over and putting her through the fire.” My husband did speak softly and seemed meek, no would guess that he spanked me so firmly and set my bottom on fire.
    “A wife will welcome those reins, and let you guide her to the left and the right, and with time will give up resistance and love it.” I took me several years to appreciate those reins. To start with I tolerate it because I agreed to punishment before we married. At first (can I say this rather un-Christian words). I did love his manliness, his gusto to have the balls to spank me so hard and so effectively.
    Men, your wife’s bottom was made by God to take it. Aron was right when he says: “Just as a husband must spank hard, …”

    1. Thank you. I appreciate hearing about the learning experience you went through with discipline. It requires a period of growth, and going through the fire for a while, but the wife who comes through it is a better wife afterward.

  12. TxCoGrl83 Avatar
    TxCoGrl83

    As a wife I also thrive under my husband when he is consistent, when he is calm but firm, and even though I actually beg and pray when he is spanking me not to spank me so hard, everything is better in our little world when I make it through a discipline sesh where he does not show me mercy. Every single time I do not think I can make it through. I always do and as almost every single woman notes, her marriage, relationships, inner calm, inner focus, and really every aspect of her life is reset. Anxiety and over thinking goes away for me. Overthinking that builds up overtime is one of the things that gets me into trouble. Not that my husband spanks me for the act of overthinking, in fact he works so hard to try to help me find a way to not, my behavior and attitude turn rude when I’m up in my head. I suppose a hard spanking kinda forces you out of your head and put all those feelings to rest. When I’m being spanked honestly nothing I was Stressing over or angry about really matters any longer. Making it through being punished, focusing on respect and answering my husband, and doing as he asks in those moments leaves zero room for any of that business. All that matters is to show him how sorry I am, and really tell myself WHY DID YOU CARE THAT MUCH! It didn’t matter! Why did you have to argue, or have an attitude? I would take it all back if I could! Once it’s over, I do not care anymore still. A hard spanking that pushes you past a point you think you can take, really puts everything in perspective. Almost, not every, but a lot of times if my husband doesn’t spank me quite as hard I end up right back down there the next day or even later that day!

    Husbands if you are able to be calm and consistent, and spank hard and through her crying and begging (hopefully you know just how hard she needs since she is your loved one) then the job gets done, she realizes okay that was soo not worth it, and everyone finds their calm again. Life goes on with so much closeness and calmness!

    I can not when I think about it, ever have a time when I’m like getting busted just now was worth it! If your wife can say that, then I do feel like she needs to be more Uncomfortable than she currently is. I have however, over one subject had to be spanked a few times in a row because I was So deeply passionate that I was Right. That’s even with my husband truly listening and hearing me. He did, he tried with all of his heart to talk through this particular subject with me. He was only willing to go so far though. He I think Did bend to my will a little, but he held firm and sadly it took my bottom being literally black and blue before I submitted. That’s the only time ever. I have always been a very subservient wife, loving and truly bringing joy to my heart to do for my husband. I love taking care of him, I love For him to feel spoiled, and doted on. So it isn’t often I take it to a point where I refuse, it’s EXTREMELY rare it takes 3 time’s downstairs! I mean It really was a subject I felt So hurt by. Now with clarity I can Truly say that for some reason I demonized my husband and somehow allowed myself to believe he did not care.

    Husbands, I also just had a thought I want To share. If you show your wife gratitude, and how much what she does for you means to you, I promise With all of my heart you will see her desire grow. My husband doesn’t always say it, but I have found a way to really allow myself to see different things he does for myself and our family as his way of saying thank you baby, I love You so much!!

    Even though our relationship is built on the fact he is the undisputed leader in our lives. That doesn’t mean he never helps me, he never listens, he always has time to make things nicer for me! To do little special things to be a smile to me, to make me just feel so deeply loved and cherished. In some cases I have read I do think it can be easy for a man who is the “boss” to feel like he doesn’t have to do anything extra, helpful, or kind because his wife has to do what she is told.

    It really builds my desire and my heart to want to ALWAYS do for him, to take care of him, to go above and beyond because he does that for me!

    If both spouses put the other first, always show love and compassion- both will always be first, both with always feel safe.

    Just know, you can be the strictest, most consistent leader, hardest spanker, and also be the most gentle, while maintaining the same responses to your wife’s behavior and choices as you always do you will be wildly successful as a leader.

    I feel like I am the absolute most treasured woman on this planet! I also Feel like I do not DARE to disrespect or cross my husband ever, all at the same time.

    He spanks me so hard it hurts me to sit down for 3 days even on his “lightest”
    Discipline. He also celebrates me for me! He jokes with me, makes fun of me in the very best ways, makes me laugh so hard, he gives me space and encouragement to be myself, to joke with him, and poke fun of him about his little personality quirks.

    I think in less words you can laugh, and dote, spoil, and show vulnerability, and emotions to and with your wife, and it takes NOTHING away from your discipline and headship! It adds to it.

    Life must be fun we have to laugh between us, with our kids, with our friends, and family!!

    Trust me a woman who has been a spanked and disciplined wife for over decade now. There is plenty of time, and energy left over to lead her with your actions, your voice, and your hand!

    The more my husband relaxed over time, I felt Closer to him. I felt my motivation within grow. There is a time and place for for instant and even blind obedience from us, but knowing once you establish your expectations, and show her absolutely your word means law, and you will follow through 100 percent of the time. She never guesses, she always knows where she stands, she also isn’t afraid to talk through situations with you in a respectful way, she feels heard and knows her feelings matter! I think we tend to over react, and have disrespectful voices in moments we feel unheard and our opinions not cared about. There will be days where talking through a situation is not acceptable, and wives must be able to accept that and respect that. If that is not how it is 100 percent of the time then I find When that needs to happen it happens quickly and with respect, not under threat or even
    Punishment.

    As always no two marriages are the same. I think Humanity not just a man or woman needs to feel that their voice is not just heard, but what they think and feel matters. Husbands too! If a man and woman can accomplish that, and making the other feel important in all ways, loved and adored punishment is needed less and it’s much more effective!

    1. harrymetwho Avatar
      harrymetwho

      From what you write it seems that your man adores you and that you have the strength of charachter to give that man his role. Submission is a strength and not a weakness. We can all grow in our chosen roles.

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