In Favor of a Sore Backside

There are legitimately many varieties of spanking a husband can give as head of the home. One element of spanking that I try to always include, is that my wife will be feeling it the next day. It will be a thorough enough punishment that she will have some soreness, and aching on the backside. She will certainly feel it sitting down. This element is naturally a part of how long and hard a spanking is, but I think is important in its own right. I find that this after-effect of the discipline helps her in her submission.

There is no formula to make sure you leave her with this kind of reminder on her bottom. A husband just has to accustom himself to his wife’s sensitivities, as well as to the instrument he uses, and how hard he is using it. It’s important to note that giving a spanking that leaves her sore does not require going to the extreme of power, but only using enough force. Naturally, instruments make it easier than trying it with your hands. With some instruments, longer and lighter will bring the same desired results. To hear the people who use birch bundles talk, the light and soft twigs, used enough times, will not only leave her regretful she misbehaved, but very sore the next day.

The obvious benefit that I have found in this kind of spanking, is that the soreness functions as a reminder to her. This calling card of her man’s authority helps her to be responsive to me, and very attentive to what I say. It also helps her consider her actions if a temptation to return to the same behavior comes along soon. Spankings work not only on the behavior, but on her overall softness to me, and help her conform to my will.  I may not mention the infraction again after I have spanked her, but she still has an awareness of the consequences of her actions, and her need to be submissive. She has that every time she sits down. She will feel it as she goes about her work throughout the day. She is mine, and she is subject to me.

I don’t knock husbands who are softer than what I describe. I certainly think a simple bottom smacking that serves in the moment to correct a wife can do some good. It can turn around an errant attitude quickly. It can put a stop to bad behavior. That’s useful. I just don’t think that the milder form of discipline is as effective, especially because I see value in the reminder left on her bottom. It is something that will stick with her in more ways than one. My wife is wonderfully responsive in the days following a spanking, and these are times she has that reminder with her. I may let her sit on a pillow, but I want her to feel it. If she has had a spanking for neglecting her responsibilities, when she immediately gets back to doing them, she is feeling that reminder on her backside as she works. It is a motivator. It helps connect her to me during that period she returns to behaving the right way. 

Soreness which continues a day or so can be challenging for the lady. This is especially true if she is new to being disciplined, or if she did not fully accept the punishment in her heart. It can become a challenge. It has to spark her to know deeply that she really is yours. To know that honoring your headship is of great importance. That is why submission is something she grows in over time, and why she has to let the lessons you give her shape her inside. The very fact they come from you, and are for her good, will help her to accept the difficulty she may feel. Athletes deal with being sore once in a while too. So do laborers. It is hardly a crime that a wife being corrected should have to learn to live with a sore backside, for her own growth in virtue, and as your wife.


30 responses to “In Favor of a Sore Backside”

  1. […] take a week or more to disappear. I believe it’s best if a spanking leaves her sore enough to feel it the next day. A hard spanking will certainly lead to this, and she will be sore sitting down for at least one […]

  2. […] the rare instances she shows disrespect – and she usually knows better – she gets spanked and will be sore the next day. A woman must not disrespect her husband. I’m not saying spanking is the only reason for the […]

  3. […] Correction can be as simple as verbal instruction, or as severe as a spanking, which will burn for a while, but will not leave her injured. It is loving and for her long-term […]

  4. […] if it crosses the line. That’s one way to make sure she stays on the rails. My wife was sore for several days after her discipline, which had been long, and had several fading purple spots on her bottom for […]

  5. […] oil or lotion. He can actively help her with after-care, or just let he know she may use it. The burning on her bottom should remain with her for a while, but putting something on it shows mercy, and will make pain […]

  6. Doesn’t it hurt you to cause your wife pain, welts and bruising? I love my husband and couldn’t bear to hurt him. If he felt ok about hurting me I would think he didn’t love me. Plus, you talk in some entries about enjoying it. How do you justify that? Do you just stop caring one day, or did it never bother you?

    1. Hello, I think you could answer that question, or understand why the question itself is misleading, by applying it to other discipline situations in life. Is the parent who disciplines their child — by spanking or any other method — not caring for their child? Do they not love them when they discipline them? Is the employer who disciplines an employee — perhaps even finally terminating them from work — not caring for those under their charge? Is the government not caring for its citizens when it punishes crimes large and small, punishments which are often harsher than a spanking and having much longer lasting effects?

      I note this very point on the welcome article of my website — disciplining a wife is not unloving or uncaring. Quite the opposite. It is a good way to express our care — for her, for our marriage, and for the entire household, the good of which affects all of society. I care for my wife, and I care for all of those things, when I set rules for her, and punish her when she needs it. The fact that it comes in the form of a spanking does not change that. A spanking is a short, unpleasant experience, which often changes behavior and leads to marital peace. By comparison to other punishments in society, it is actually quite mild, despite the temporary pain involved. So I continually love my wife, even as I have her over my knee, correcting her behavior.

      As far as “enjoying” giving corporal punishment, there are times when it is enjoyable to give. That is because there is satisfaction in seeing a wrong made right, in seeing a haughty attitude humbled and softened, and of course in the opportunity to see and touch my wife’s bare body. All of these can bring a kind of satisfaction, though there are times when it does seem routine, or seem like a task to get out of the way. I hope that explains your question, and that you have an open mind to receive the answer. Thank you!

      I give a few paragraphs to the question of “cruelty” in my welcome article here:

      1. An employer cares not at all for the employee, only the bottom line. Government cares not at all for its citizens, only lawfulness. If you believe otherwise, look around you and read the news. As for parents disciplining children, the discipline you describe giving your wife would bring intervention from CPS. If you and your wife agree to this and it works for you, enjoy yourselves. I think it invites men who have abusive tendencies to abuse their wives “for their own good” .

        You could justify anything using this logic. I found your website because I find the topic fascinating and I’m not on a crusade to tell others how to live their lives. In a truly consensual relationship, anything goes but as women living this lifestyle give up careers to stay home they lose their financial independence. Therefore being whipped might look better than not being able to pay the rent on their own.I

        I recently searched for real domestic discipline spanking videos online and saw one of a young man paddling a young woman’s bottom that was already purple with bruises. The skin was breaking down. In the background you could see a baby bouncer. That is the mother of his child. You might say you don’t support that type of spanking, but you justify it throughout your website.

        Whenever there is an imbalance of power, there are abusers, and though that might not be the case in your marriage, you don’t know the mindset of your readers. I’ve read many of the comments on here and believe many are meant to be ironic, but there are people who will take them as gospel.

        1. I’m afraid you are showing again that you change your standards when it comes to a man disciplining his wife. You apply radically different ones in order to claim he must not “care about” his wife. Discipline and caring go together.

          Yes, an employer is bound to care about his employees, within certain limits of course. He must be just and humane to them, and provide what he promises to provide. Yet there is nothing inhumane with disciplining his employees, including firing them, which has long-lasting negative effects, much MORE so than a spanking.

          The government is bound to care for all its citizens, yet it still cares for them when it punishes them for crimes too, punishments much much harsher and with longer-lasting effects than a spanking. Prison is exponentially harsher, yet prison can legitimately be given by a caring government.

          Parents love their children, and do not stop loving when they discipline their children, by spanking or other methods. In fact, discipline is one of the ways they put their caring into practice.

          Therefore, you have to apply different, and unfair standards to claim a husband who spanks his wife must not care about her. Your logic then boils down to — spanking bad. Spanking bad because I say so. But you cannot prove that claim. It is only your assertion.

          Spanking is much MORE humane than jail, than firing from a job, than days, weeks or years of arguing, than divorce, etc. It is a short period of being humbled, and experiencing pain on the backside for your misdeeds. Then it is over, and there is peace. If you see something unjust or inhumane there, you are inventing it in your own imagination. It is more caring than what goes on in much of society, and more caring than many non-spanking marriages. Divorce is generally inhumane. Spanking is not.

          It may be a shock to you personally to hear about spankings, or to hear about ones that are hard enough to bruise, but your emotional shock does not determine what the truth is! Objectively, spanking is loving and humane, if done as a part of loving discipline, and in a non-injurious way. That is the way all in domestic discipline are encouraged to practice it, and the way the large majority do.

          I advise you examine the subject without your bias against spankings, and you will see the same thing. You may not like it, but you fail to show it is unjust or inhumane. Spanking does good in many marriages, and I encourage more husbands to try it.

        2. Regarding the statement — you could justify anything by my logic — no, you could not. My logic only goes to show that you change your standard when you attack wife spanking, insisting that it must not be caring, when it actually is. I am applying a consistent standard, and you do not do the same.

          Yes, anyone can abuse another in any system, but that does little to show spanking to be wrong. Governments can be abusive of power, but we still accept their authority, and the fact they can make laws, and punish criminals. The possibility of abuse then, does not make something wrong, and is true of anything.

          I would agree some comments are either oddball or ironic, but I allow comments within certain limits. Some I have edited or not allowed, but the comment section is not the same as the website.

    2. To add one point here: You ask whether it causes ME pain to spank my wife. You know, it can take a little getting used to for a husband to bring his wife to tears, and spank through tears. Like anyone, I can experience some amount of sympathetic pain when seeing another person in pain, especially loved one. But having given spankings for a long time, I’d say you get through that difficulty by understanding the good and the importance of discipline. You know it is good for her and for your home, and also remember her punishment is well earned by her own behavior. Her pain and her tears are quite temporary. They will soon go away, and be replaced by joy, and marital peace.

      If she is really having trouble bearing a spanking, one that is harder than usual, I do understand her difficulty, and might pause a moment to talk to her, and assure her of my love. However, I do not stop because it is hard for her to take. It is a spanking and it is supposed to hurt. That is what makes it a punishment and what makes it undesirable. I have seen the good it does in my marriage and in others’, and have never regretted disciplining my wife.

  7. Hello Aron,
    I would like to thank- you from the deepest part of my soul for everything you have written in your blog. It has given me the wisdom to truly understand the whole of my feminine nature. I see myself over and over in each of your posts.
    My husband and I have practiced for the last few years a version of domestic discipline before we even new there was a term for it. I have always know that I crave the leadership and discipline of a strong man. However I mostly kept it to myself thinking it was mostly a sexual prediliction. To admit there was way more to it was impossible for me at the time.
    I grew up in an emotionally unstable home with constant disrespect and arguing. My husband grew up in a Christian home where people conducted themselves respectably. He always treats me with the utmost honour and respect. I have not done so with him. Emotional outbursts, arguing, insulting, and manipulating were par for the course with me. It was my conditioning . My husband understood this and strove to be understanding even through his hurt and frustration. His pride and masculinity were being stripped from him by the woman he loved. Neither of us knew at the time that what was needed was firm, rock solid discipline from him. Instead of yelling at me and arguing with me he just needed to spank me . Hard.
    Our own form of dd has worked to a degree but has not stopped the behavior completely. I still speak disrespectfully quite frequently and will argue over many things when I disagree with him. I will even call him stupid which I know is very shameful.After reading your entire blog I understand why. I need to feel his authority all the time. Not just when I disrespect him. We’ve had a long discussion about this and he has read some of your posts and finds them very illuminating.
    Yesterday he gave me my first hard spanking with his belt. Although he reminds me that it was mild compared to what I can expect in the future if infractions continue.It was very unpleasant More so than anything he has given me before. I feel vaguely sore today but it is a reminder to me to watch my step. I also feel a deep sense of peace inside of me. I feel protected from self induced harm. I explained this to my husband and we are both in awe of this power dynamic. I desperately want this to continue. I feel such love and attraction for my husband now. My desire to please him is enormous. How can a stern warning and a sore backside have accomplished this? I feel like a flower about to bloom in the hands of my man.
    My concern is this. I don’t want to mess this up. I want him to continue to take his dominant role further and to feel that it is accomplishing its purpose. I want him to incorporate more elements into the discipline such as you describe in your posts. I want him to be more assertive of his authority so that I always feel in my heart that warm comforting submissive feeling. I know I will slip up again. I’m even afraid I might criticize him for not being dominant enough. I’m afraid if I do he might think it’s not working and back off. How do I as a submissive partner help him down this path without him thinking I am trying to control things. He’s not used to seeing me in the submissive role and I think he still feels strange about the need for it on a regular basis. Do you have any advice for him or I on how we can continue to successfully evolve our dd relationship into becoming the new world order of our home and our lives?
    With much gratitude,

    1. Elle, That’s great to see that your husband is already bringing what you need into your marriage. I would expect to continue to see growth, and blossoming in the future. Commit yourself to your submission, and place yourself fully under him. If he is firm with you I don’t think you’ll be speaking with disrespect in the future.

      True, you should not be telling your husband what to do, but you can meekly, and with high respect, explain your feelings, and your needs, and how you see that firm leadership and spanking help you. It truly helps many marriages, aiding the man in taking charge, and the woman in embracing her naturally submissive role. You feel so much fulfillment in it because God placed that in your soul. Correction really is good, despite the short discomfort. Women are built for submission.

      If you or your husband would like to have more of a discussion of implementing discipline, feel free to write me at my e-mail below or in the contact form. I’d be more than happy to help. As I stress many times — his leadership and guidance of you extends to all he does, not merely to the spanking. He is your Christ figure, and leads daily, caring for your body, spirit, and soul. It is a deep, and powerful thing. I wish the best for you both.

      Thank you for writing.

    2. I wish my husband would follow through With his strictness and not go back-and-forth

    3. Vincent longo Avatar
      Vincent longo

      Perhaps only outer garments removed leaving the panty on is a little less. Embarrassing

  8. Sophia Avatar

    Aron, I return to this post often, and I appreciate the wise points you make, both in the article and in your confident rebuttals. I will be married soon, and I very much look forward to my own refinement at the hands of my man. I imagine that a lingering soreness will aid me, just as you say, in returning to my softest, most loving self. I can picture myself growing in submission, the tenderness in my bottom attesting to the depth of my learning, just as sore muscles speak to the intensity of a workout. It is a privilege to feel my man’s strength, but I know I’ll also feel his gentleness and his love. Elsewhere you speak of patting your wife’s bottom in the days following a spanking, and I imagine such delicious moments in my future, leaning into my husband’s gentle squeeze. Sore, yes, but penitent and forgiven, loved and protected. My tender flesh will belong to him wholly. What fate could be more rapturous?

    1. Yes, it will start soon. I believe you both will be very fulfilled. I trust your husband will do an excellent job in leading you.

    2. Yes, it will be wonderful. That lingering feeling helps a woman know her full belonging to her man. I believe you will be well taken care of by your husband.

      1. Thank you, Aron. My man is my lord, and I know he will lead me wisely and care for me always. I look forward to becoming a better woman under his loving correction.

  9. My master does not believe in soft spankings my butt us2 always really sore after punishment

    1. Vincent longo Avatar
      Vincent longo

      Jan it should be a few slaps only the embarrassment of your bare cheeks is enough.

      1. Not from my Sir he usually blisters my butt good. I am bruised and have welts from strap

  10. Vincent longo Avatar
    Vincent longo

    Jan were you very humiliated.

    1. I was not humiliated I was humbled that is part of the D D life style I also had a very sore butt for several days.

  11. I’m getting a belt spanking and I’m so scared. My first and oil too. I’ll be sore

    1. Thanks for your comment, Kelly. I know you must be nervous. A good spanking needs to hurt, but it’s going to do you a lot of good. Do your best to learn your lesson. I’m sure your man is looking out for you. My wife’s first spanking was with my belt, and it was hard for her too.

  12. Sir. I do enjoy this blog. I know what would consitute as a decent spanking as I’ve had them and they end with loving affirmation from my strong Sir and HoH. Using bullwhips canes and humiliating your wife with painful creams and backdoor things sounds borderline extreme. It’s not Traditional Christian discipline if it involves rituald and sodomy.

    1. Thanks for your comment, Fran. People bring a lot of extra baggage into discipline, much of it unnecessary. A good hard spanking does the job well by itself.

      1. Much agreed Sir. I guess I thank The Lord I have a Husband who doesn’t take advantage of his Authority. We both love each other.

      2. Yes very much Sir. In a loving Christian marriage there has to be Trust. So while I fear the pain, I trust my Husband completely as head of not just the household but my well being and discipline. I know he won’t spring something on me in a discipline session that I was unaware of. His desire isn’t to frighten or punish me in a sadistic cruel way because I’m not an object or a masochist. People get the wrong idea of us Wives who willingly submit to our loving Husbands. True strong Men of God who we chose to marry. We were not forced to be with them. I fell in love with Master/Mr A as a teen and we have so much in common especially our growing devotion to one another this comes with daily prayer and spiritual food from the Lord. The bible is for everyone as is the Lord’s gift of salvation. We have our relationship and our relationship with Jesus. This makes our Marriage prosper through My total surrender to My man and off course to Jesus Christ. HOH surrenders all to the Lord and is able to lead our house calmly while seeking guidance from fellow Christian men either online from our Church or whom he’s met.

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